The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: The Next Dick Cheney

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Missouri Democrat Senate Candidate Lucas Kunce pulls a Dick Cheney and accidentally shoots a local reporter at a local gun range.Meanwhile, Barack Obama raps Eminem lyrics while campaigning in Detroit.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comClaim your free pocket Constitution today at DanaForHillsdale.comKelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comInnovation. Performance. Keltec. Learn more at KelTecWeapons.com today.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.Relief Factorhttps://relieffactor.comDon’t mask pain, fight it naturally with Relief Factor.  Visit online or call 1-800-4-RELIEF today!Tax Network USAhttps://TNUSA.com/DANADon’t let the IRS control your life—empower yourself with Tax Network USA. Visit TNUSA.com/DANA

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Spaghetti a la battery. A Florida man was jailed on a battery charge after he hit somebody with literal spaghetti. Fomit on his sweater already. His arms are heavy.

But on the surface, he looks calm and ready to drop bombs. But Markell Royale, that's his name. He forgot that you can't do that. Apparently he was drunk, became irate, and threw a bowl of spaghetti to his wife's head. Noodles hit her in the front of her body and her stomach. The officers arrived at the pairs Largo residents. They found her covered in spaghetti sauce.

He has a lengthy criminal history that includes batter, again, beating his wife and beating his kids. He'd have beat my kids. Oh, my gosh, this man. Well, let's just say. saw has nothing on what I would do. But the parent, so he can't have a contact of this. He's got literally a rap sheet that goes over 20 years. Tons of drug convictions. He's a fallen. He's, you know, got firearms charges on top of being a felon in illegal possession. So yeah, he's, he's not a nice guy, not a nice guy. So this guy, carjacked his own customer, a Florida man car dealer,

carjacked his own customer over a missed payment. The employee is a part of a family that owns the dealership and threaten the customer with a gun too, apparently. So this is how this story happened. I mean, this came from Motor Biscuit. This is a fun site. So in Miami, this federal jury convicted a car dealer employee of carjacking. And the guy, he's 24 years old,

he purchased a Honda Accord from the dealership in 2023, October 2023. I saw a year ago. In the U.S. Attorney's Office, they sent a press release. It was about, you know, 13,800 in sale. The sales, apparently the dealer never gave the buyer any loan paperwork. And the dealer had specific terms with the finance company. So if the buyer made a late payment within the first two months, the dealer would have to buy out the company's loan. So the buyer was laid on their first payment, but ultimately paid it plus a late fee. And then the dealer got a letter from the finance company, demanding the full loan. So then they were told not to repossess the vehicle. but apparently they did anyway. So the guy, the buyer had noticed one day at a black BMW following him. And then he got out of his, he apparently had a red light. The guy, a guy got out of the BMW and they carjack the guy, took his car and left the buyer in the street. And that's how they repossessed it. Yeah. It's not how to do that. And they literally found the guy that works with the dealer guilty of carjacking. Annie Brandeis de gun at the guy. So he's sentenced in January. And apparently if you thought that the auto dealer called guru auto sales had some complaints

of the Better Business Bureau. If you suspected it, guess what? You're correct on that. There are a few complaints that they got. I'm sure you're really surprised about it, but, you know, it's true. Very true. This I've never seen anyone go

to this extent for concert tickets. I don't even think Steve would do this. So this guy apparently was, and this is from a music site, a Florida man tried to cut off and eat a karate teacher's toes for base nectar tickets. Is that real? That's not real.

Looks like it is. It seems like it's a fake story. But apparently that's what they're describing. That's what it says. And of course, the article's written so poorly. I don't even want to try to shift through it to give you the story because it's like, I would fire all those people and I would buy the company that published the story just to shut it down and fire everyone as penalty for that. one bad story where they buried the lead. Let's see. This also, Florida's been named the second

best state to live in, even after all the hurricanes. Florida was named number two. And I don't think you really need a whole study for that, though, really. I mean, a lot of people are going there. They said it's the, some of the seventh lowest tax rate, six highest median household income. So it's a great place to build wealth. And they said that it's a pretty safe state as well. So number two, the number one, they are saying is Massachusetts. And I think those people are crazy. Why? Is it just because of fall? It has to be just because of fall, right? Massachusetts, number one. How does it get number one? I don't know. I'm not buying that. I'm not buying it. And then this, apparently there was a kangaroo on loose in a Florida County. Valucia County

said that it escaped away from a home. A kangaroo was spotted hopping around Volusia County. It got out of its enclosure. And the Volusia County Sheriff's Office was called. They shared video of it hopping around. the apparently it gets better. The kangaroo escaped. You know why? Because a bear entered its enclosure. And a bear is still missing. So there's a bear and a kangaroo, which is what I feel like this W-E-SH article kind of doesn't

overstate enough. So there you go. The owner's been notified. They're on the lookout. Our partners over at Caltech, the P-15, if you don't have it, you should get it. It's the lightest, thinnest, double-stack 9-millimeter on the market. And lightweight, powerful, 15-round, standard. capacity. It ships with two magazines. One standard 15 round, minimal pinky extension, one flush

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that we had that. We were able to take care of the situation. I hope your arm's feeling better, brother. And yeah, we'll have to get you to sling around down range here and maybe blow up a Coke bottle, huh? Yeah, I'm in. Whatever. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Thank you. I need a minute. Give me a minute. Because I don't know if you follow me on social media at all. I had some words about this. I had a late night working. I had some words about this last night. the don't be a cunts just don't be is that how you pronounce his name yeah that's how you pronounce his name Kane did you not know that the man's name I thought it was

coons it's whatever I say it is oh it's how we're doing this today you know it's how we're doing it by the way Tannerite doesn't just absorb a well wait not stop you're getting ahead of anything I know wait stop nope nope stop we got time for that I need a moment because what the hell did we just watch It was like a renaissance painting of dumb blankery watching all of that. So, first off, welcome to the program, Dana Lash with you.

We're at the top of our first hour. I'm in the theater last night. I went to go see James O'Keeffe's new film lying in the sand, and it was really great, and I noticed my phone started going off. I look at my phone. I pick my phone up, and I look at it, and it's several friends, you know,

Have you been online recently? Like what are you talking about? I said, I need you. I need you to go look at the Twitters, particularly. I need you to go look at Lucas Cunt's pages. K-U-N-C-E, that's his name. Golly, it's like Schitt's Creek. S-H-I-T-T-S.

This is his name. Stop it. K-E's over here having a stroke. Stop it. They're like, you need to go look at his stuff. And I went and I looked, and if one could throw up the screen, This is the first thing that I saw. I wrote about it, too, if you're a subscribed over at Substack, Dana last year with you.

I wrote about it too. And I'll be dang. He's bragging. He thought that was a flex. Now, if you don't know who Lucas Cunces, he's the guy. He's the Democrat incumbent. Or no, sorry. He's the Democrat challenging the Republican incumbent, Josh Hawley, and our home state of Missouri.

And so there were four photos that he shared on Twitter. And he. Oh, it's so bad. He shared these photos. He's bragging about, first off, let's stop here. He's bragging about shooting a reporter at a campaign event at the range. So this tweet, there were four photos. And in one of the photos specifically that they had was a picture of Adam Kinsinger.

And everybody remembers Adam Kinsinger. You all know who Adam Kinsinger is, right? He's the guy who's a big giant rhino, big giant rhino. and he was there shooting. It was a range day. It was a campaign range day. And he's there. He's holding AR-15 with a giant scope on it,

standing seven yards away from steel targets. Shooting over a table of tannerite, and he has no eye pro on, nothing. And he's holding his rifle. like an absolute capital B and something itchy. It, like I said, it's like a renaissance painting

of dumb blankery. So many things wrong with that image. And then, of course, shocking, a reporter is indirectly shot because they're shooting steel with 2,23.

They also had a bolt action there. They were on steel seven yards away. And a reporter gets injured. And Lucas Kuntz thinks that that's a good thing to post online as a flex. He wrote, great day at the range today with my friend Adam Kinsinger. We got to hang out with some union workers while exercising our freedom. Always have your first aid kit handy. Shrabnel can always fly.

First off, no, you weren't. How was that a great range date? You shot a dude. This is like the Alec Baldwin Rust set. You shot a dude. you dick Cheney to dude. You went full Alec Baldwin on this set of rust.

And he calls it a great day at the range while posting a picture of Adam Kinzinger looking like an absolute bitch holding a rifle. He's like leaning so far away from it. It's like he's simultaneously terrified of it. And also he wants to flex. He's got his elbow sticking out like a chicken wing.

I mean, can you properly shoulder the thing? Just good having someone tell him how to extend it. He's going to hurt himself and everybody else. And why does he have that foregrip? Why is that giant grip like that? Why? Why is he that close to the targets?

Why is he shooting over Tanner Wright? Why does he exist? We have a million questions. But Lucas Kuntz calls it a great day at the range. They went to the Adam Baldwin, or Alec Baldwin School of Range shooting. You know, some people, you know, they got a gun site. Now these guys went to the Alec Baldwin School. So a reporter gets shot. Oh, but wait, then they were like, you know what?

When a Band-Aid will do, why not apply a tourniquet? And the first rule of applying a tourniquet is to apply it directly to the wound. Oh, no. Here they are, not knowing what the hell a tourniquet is, applying it directly to his wound. When a Band-Aid would have done. I always thought the general rule is if you can smile, then a Band-Aid will suffice, correct? That's what I have always been told. I don't know. But this all came out last night.

I just, and it's a good thing that Kinsinger has his eye, his ipro protecting his hair. I mean, heaven forbid. But if you don't, if you guys don't know what Tannerite is, it goes sploty boom. It's the best way to put it. The number one rule of reckless range day is to shoot directly above the splotie boom stuff and then apply tourniquets directly on the wounds of the reporter that you indirectly shot. I mean, I am just surprised and shocked that with all of these safety measures in place, I never would have thought that, you know, a reporter would have been hit.

I don't know. But here's the thing. These guys are big gun control advocates. They want magazine. They want restrictions on magazine capacity, the whole thing. By the way, there's always a tweet. Of course there is. So this, he's like the, this Lucas Cuntz guy.

I mean, it's, it's amazing. When the McCluskey story happened in St. Louis, Lucas Cunce decided that he was going to get on X, and he posted, quote, Hey, Mansion Man, McCluskey, my offer still stands for a Marine-led weapon safety training before you go get your next gun. I think he needs to take the safety training. I have not seen a campaign self-owned like this since Michael Dukakis. And at least Michael Dukakis didn't shoot anybody directly or indirectly. They should form a club. This is like classic white dudes for Harris.

They should form a club with Alec Baldwin and Dick Cheney and Tim Wals. Yes, they should. They should form a club. I mean, I just want to let you know I'm going to make fun of this all day because I've never seen anybody's cell phone so hard in my life. I mean, I don't understand. And then they were like shrapnel. There's shrapnel and then there's what, the stuff from ricochets. I mean, there is a difference.

But you can't criticize them because they're like, well, we served in the military. Oh, I didn't realize. And look, I appreciate those who serve, but we literally led a revolution and cut a bunch of Hessians heads off on Christmas Eve so that we weren't ruled by a military or a king. So let's all keep that in mind, shall we? Just saying, yeah, on Christmas. God bless America. So I'm just saying that that doesn't mean that you get a pass for being a dumb ass at the range. If this would have happened at my range, if this would have happened at Texas Gun Experience, they had a throttom. them out. If this would have happened at the outdoor range I go to, they would have been tossed out. My gosh, I would have tossed them out. This is crazy. People like this

just, I mean, it's terrifying. It isn't absolutely terrifying. I would not want to be at the Kane. Would you want to go to the range of these guys? What if they were like, hey, Kane, let's go shoot. Would you be like, who? No. I'll meet you there.

Oh my gosh. This and there and then so Adam Kinsinger tried to defend it last night by talking about J6. I swear to you. I don't know nobody people weren't shooting people at J6. Not like y'all were at your campaign event, the range. I can't, but I can't believe this guy posted this online without any self-awareness and he thought it was a flex. He thought that was a flex. That would be like me sharing a picture on X of me throwing a ball.

I can't throw to save my life. Everything's a dangerous projectile. everything is a weapon in my hands. I cannot throw. I couldn't play baseball. I'd be killing people. It'd be like me trying to post something like that and I feel like it's a flex or me to, I mean, it's just so bad. Why would you debase yourself like because he doesn't know? That's the short answer. He doesn't know. They're morons. These are people, I honestly, I know I've said a lot about this last night. Never let anybody who does any of the stuff that we've just shown you or discussed not only near your gun rights, but near elected office. don't let these people anywhere near it.

Nowhere near it. I mean, the fact that they were literally shooting over Tannerite and no one thought, hey guys, maybe we shouldn't shoot over the sploty boom stuff. Maybe we should take it off the table. Nobody thought of that. Golly. It's just chef's kiss. Chef's kiss.

So yes, good afternoon to everybody except Lucas Cunson, Adam Kinzinger, who went full Baldwin. Like their campaign range event was a Rust film set. I mean, that's Lucas Conson, Missouri. Don't be a cons. I'm just telling you. Don't be like him. So I have something to offer you today, something absolutely free. Hillsdale College, the great American college with a huge and effective educational outreach effort on behalf of liberty. They're giving away free copies of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence before the November election. Hillsdale's immediate goal is to put a pocket constitution in the hands of one million Americans who may not have one. And if you have one already, well, you can order one for someone you know who does not. But the offer is only for a limited time. So claim your free pocket-sized constitution today at Dana4hillsdale.com. Every American should be familiar with our nation's founding principles of liberty. And how better than reading our founding documents?

To have a free copy meal to you, visit Dana4hillsdale.com and complete a simple forum. They'll put it in the mail for you with free shipping. They're not selling your info. They're just going to send it to you. And again, this offer expire soon. So claim your free pocket constitution today at Dana-F-R-Hillsdale.com. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick 5.

All right. So Bill Gates privately says that he's backed Kamala Harris with a $50 million donation. But sit here and whine some more about Elon Musk left. Oh, my God. The billiards right about the election. But then it's like crickets when it's Bill Gates doing it. Just, you know, hmm. Of course, is anybody surprised at this, though?

Is anybody actually surprised that he? It's D different. Yeah, it's D different. Disgraced. Okay. Did you guys have on your bingo cards this year? The Abercrombie CEO being a petter-assed? Did you guys have him?

Okay. So the dude, well, he's the former CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch, which totally, like, explains it. Their stores were always weird. Like, they smelled like, like, cologne, and they were dark. And it was like a, I mean, you walk in and it was like a dimly lit, drunk bad frat house. Not all frats are bad. And so anyway, this former Abercrombie and Fitch guy, Mike Jeffries, he's released on bail. he's 80 years old.

He was accused of running an international sex trafficking operation in a bombshell 16-count federal indictment. He and his partner were arrested in West Palm Beach. There's a third dude who was arrested in the same case in Wisconsin. He, oh my gosh, he looks like, you guys remember that old creepy like dead guy from Poltergeist who wore the wide brim, brim Quaker hat? Okay, he looks like that.

This guy's got way too much. And then Juan's finding a very old photo of him. He totally does not look like this anymore. He looks creepier, older. grayer and saggier, if you can imagine. It's so nasty. Anyway, he was released on a half a million dollars bond

and the I don't even want to give I can't even give you all the details of his crimes. Basically, however you, whatever nastiness you can imagine, yes. Yes, he did it.

I mean, there literally are no exceptions. I'm not even exaggerating. That's how bad it is. I can't even get into like the details of the case. It's gross. Let's see. This, ooh, oh, this is kind of weird. I feel like this also was a skit on Dave Chappelle Cribs. Scientists discover 80 million-year-old fully intact dinosaur eggs from a previously unknown species. It's the smallest fully intact dinosaur egg ever discovered in a remote area of China. I'm immediately going to ask questions because they did make fake pandas, just saying the egg isn't over an inch long. It's one of six dinosaur eggs

and a fully preserved necks from the late Cretaceous period. And that's, it's weird. They're weird-looking. They got pictures of them. They are weird-looking. But, I mean, I'm just wondering, scramble eggs, anybody? Stick with us.

So last night, folks, Barack Obama was in Detroit. We told you that they were going to have, they were going to bring up Eminem, right? Before I get too far into this segment, first off, welcome back. Dana Lash with you, bottom of this first hour. and you can watch us Channel 347 Direct TV, Rumble, or on X.

The chat happens at Rumble. Also find us at Substack chapter and verse. The reason I bring up the M&M thing is because what in the world is up with his woolly-willy beard? You don't remember Wooly Willie Willie? What was it? Were they iron shavings? And you like arrange them magnetically around this bald man's face. It was, I had one.

I think I got it at a dollar. store in southern Missouri somewhere. And when I see Eminem with his beard, I think of Woolly Willie. Like he dyes it and it looks weird. And it just doesn't look right. You know, like it doesn't look right. Anyway, so Barack Obama was in Detroit with Eminem. And in case you haven't had your dose of cringe today, here it is.

Audio sound by 9. Go ahead. I got to say, you know, I have done a lot of rallies. so I don't usually get nervous but I was feeling some kind of way following M&M now notice my palms are sweating knees weak

arms are heavy bombing on my sweater already mom's spaghetti I'm nervous but on the surface I'm a calm ready to drop friends but I keep on forgetting oh my gosh

I'm a whole car really so loud the crins is so strong Oh my gosh. If you didn't have, I mean, just because you can doesn't mean you should. I'm just saying. Boy, I guess they convinced everybody there. Look, Barack Obama knows some words to a song.

We're going to vote for Marxism. Yay! Do you guys want to know what the... Have you ever seen that Spider-Man meme where it's two Spider-Men and an alley pointing at each other? Have you guys ever wanted to know what that sounded like in soundbite form, audio soundbite 8? Because audio sound bite 8 is the Spider-Man meme, like come to life.

Listen. I don't understand how we got so toxic and just so divided and so bitter. And I get why sometimes people just don't want to pay attention to it. And we all have friends like that. We have family members. It's just like, ah, you know, it's all a circus out there. I get that. Really?

Yeah, dude, that was you. Like, bitter-klinger, domestic terrorist? I mean, I remember what y'all call the Tea Party. Pepperidge Farm remembers. What is this? Like, I just don't know how we got, you damn, bitter-clingers. I just don't know how we got so divided, you domestic terrorists, you bunch of racist, hillbillies. I just don't know how we got so divided.

I'm so shocked. It's the greatest mystery of our time. Oh, my gosh. I just can't. These people, I'm telling you what? it is something else. I just cannot. And so I, you know, it's amazing to me to see this. And I, I don't know if it's going to convince anybody to go and vote for Kamala Harris. Speaking of which, I got some, I mean, her numbers, she's struggling. Everyone's making a big deal about how much she's struggling with dudes. Now, she's holding, don't get all excited, Democrats. She's holding, Reuters says, a 4643 lead over Trump. And then. This is a Reuters Ipsis poll. This is a new survey that's out.

Again, margin of error is within the margin of error. But she's losing dudes. And young voters are not getting super jazzed about this. They're not really jazzed about her. They are her, the inroads that she's making here are being chipped away elsewhere. And I think that's, that's important to kind of, to keep in mind. I mean, I think people are just, they're just depressed. She is a depressing candidate.

Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.