The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: TikTok Of Our Lives

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

A woman goes viral for filming herself being a single mother and having to make a birthday cake for herself; but that’s not NEARLY the whole story. Meanwhile, Comedian Chelsea Handler completely misrepresents and attacks Harrison Butker.Please visit our great sponsors:Ammo Squaredhttps://ammosquared.comEnsure you are prepared for whatever comes your way with ammosquared.comBlack Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Goldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdale Collegehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit DanaForHillsdale.com to start your National Survey on Presidential Selection today!KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.The Wellness Companyhttps://twc.health/danaGet 15% off with promo code DANA.

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. So a Florida man went on Wheel of Fortune, right? And, uh, King's already laughing.

Why are he already laughing? He, well, Tavarius Williams, appored St. Lucy, he was supposed to guess a phrase. Thursday night on Wheel of Fortune. And he made a very incorrect phrase. Now, when he read in, the letters were on the board were blank blank, blank, blank,

I, blank T, blank E, space, B, space, space, space T. And can we, can we play it? I don't know if we can play it. I think we can't. I don't, Ron doesn't think we can't, because we get copy. right, even if it's news and fair use because YouTube is a...

I mean, it's all over Twitter. I think we can play that little... Bag of booty juices. What? That little snippet of it. Well, he said that the letters on the board, it was, that's not what the letters actually were on that, on that, that phrase.

He, um, I don't want to, you say it, Kane. You found this one. You say it. Say it. He said at this point, Juan's putting the picture up. At this moment, he rings in. Uh-huh. And he says,

right in the butt. Right. Like he says it with enthusiasm as though he was correct. The phrase was, this is the best. This is like an S&L. I'll take the rapist, Alex. You mean therapist. I'll take anal bum covers for 500 outs.

That's an album cover. Thank you. The phrase was, this is the best. And he said what Kane said, he said. And that wasn't it. You go and show it. I mean, put it up on the screen, buddy. No.

Oh, you put it right past it. Yeah, it was, this is the best. This is the best. Did you hear the contestant, though? Like, she... He was, like, really into it. Like, listen, listen to the beginning here. Let's hear it is.

Okay, he's got to ring in. As soon as he figures out, he knows it. Here we go. Tomorrow's right in the butt. No. What? You hear the contest. She's like, what?

What do you? Oh, man. But you know what? He tried, man. Tavares tried. He tried, man. He really. He really believed that one.

Oh, God love him. Bless his heart. Let's see. A, we had the... A Florida... Oh, gosh. I can't... I'm not reading this one.

No, this is not. There's some I got that are just not appropriate for you all the day. What happened over the weekend? So this Florida man, he was apparently drunk. So he stole a school bus. Second school bus story. 32-year-old Daniel Syyes. He was drunk.

And he took it on school bus belonging to Hillsborough County Public Schools. He was pulled over really quickly, but he was drunk when he stole the school bus. I guess you would have to be to steal a school bus. But isn't it kind of hard to drive a school bus, though? What's my other question, right? Yeah, you would think.

Well, yeah. So it's, I mean, was he, I guess he was drunk, but he wasn't, he was drunk enough to take a school bus, but he wasn't drunk enough to not operate it? I guess. I don't know. Is that the average school bus driver? I hope not. Yeah.

Yeah. A Florida man, parents are getting at Oak Park, Brevard County School, they allowed him to, parents let him bring a hollowed out in her grenade to elementary school. It was hollowed out. And they literally placed the school on a shelter and place and everything. They lost. their minds. It was an inert. It's an inert grenade. I got one on my desk. Yeah, it's like drilled out. I mean, you can really, let's see. This is Orlando Sentinel. It got real crazy at church, apparently over the weekend. A Catholic priest apparently bid a woman as she grabbed, she grabbed

wafers from him. The Diocese of Orlando defended his actions as an attempt to prevent an act of desecration. Oh, I did not know that. You could bite them? Bite people? He told officers, the woman looked unaware of the requirements to receive communion. She returned for the second mass to demand the sacrament. And apparently he tried bite. He tried to bite her. What in the world? I got to come back to this one tomorrow. What are the world? Our partners help bring you free radio. It's our friends over at Caltech American Made and Florida born American Made. It's a great, great firearms company. They employ 300 American individuals. It's the American. and dream. I mean, George Kellgren came over here from Sweden, founded in 1991. Keltek is in Florida,

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all American materials, all American workers. Caltech's a great company. You've got to see everything that they have, including that sub 2K, the Gen 3 version, which is shipping now. See all they have to offer for yourself at celticweapons.com. Follow them on social media. KELTEC.com. Tell them Dana sent you.

If it wasn't clear that the timeless Catholic values are hated by many, It is now. Over the past few days, my beliefs or what people think I believe, have been the focus of countless discussions around the globe. At the outset, many people expressed a shocking level of hate. But as the days went on, even those who disagreed with my viewpoints shared their support for my freedom of religion. In my seven years in the NFL, I've become familiar with the positive and negative comments.

but the majority of them revolve around my performance on the field. But as to be expected, the more I've talked about what I value most, which is my Catholic faith, the more polarizing I have become. It's a decision I've consciously made, and one I do not regret it all. If we have truth and charity, we should trust in the Lord's Providence and let the Holy Ghost do the rest of the work. So that's Harrison Bucker. I don't even think my only thing that I would say is that it's not like a Catholic thing.

I think he's just talking about building blocks of a functional society, by the way. That's my only objection. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lashier with you, bottom of the second hour. People are mad. That's Harrison Bucker. That was the second. He spoke at some event.

And people are still mad over him, including a woman who I do not believe this. I think she's 59. She don't look 49. This chick is 59 years old. Chelsea Handler. I don't know why I can't say anything without being mean. Like if you're a woman and you legitimately criticize other women, they accuse you of being like a mean girl and that you're not being like a team player like as though you're supposed to be just because by the nature of having a lady bit, which is so dumb. I just don't know why she's famous.

She's not funny. She's not a critical thinker. What does she do? What does she do? I don't know. But all I know is that she is not 49 years old. unless 59 is the new 49 because that's not there's no way girl there is no way for real so anyway the reason i bring this up is because she went off on harrison bucker and i just thought it was

kind of sad uh audio sound bite 15 and just speaks for itself as you may have heard there's a man by the name of harrison butker who's talking more than i typically like for a male he's a kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, and I learned that kickers rarely get tackled. So based on his misogynistic rant during a recent commencement address, I'm guessing this Bible thumped himself a little too hard with his Bible and gave himself CTE. She would know a little bit about being tackled, wouldn't she? I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world and embrace one of the most important titles of all.

Holdmaker. First of all, Harrison, you're a kicker, so you have one important part of your body and it's not your brain. I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabel. Oh my gosh, she'd like just like spent so much time on this guy. Isabelle's dream of having a career might not have come true. But if you ask her today, if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud without hesitation and say,

heck, no. Isabel, please blink twice if you need us to call for help. But the real kicker is that Harrison Buckford's mother is a renowned physicist who has a degree in chemistry and a master's in medical physics. So, who paid for all those youth athletic team fees and uniform fees and equipment fees when Harrison was a kid so he could grow up to have a career making millions of dollars for kicking things. My guess is a working woman. Harrison, this is the first time I didn't say that woman couldn't work. Hopefully it will last. And after this, I'm going to go ahead and do what your

fellow teammate does and just pretend like you don't exist. Which is what most of the men do to her. I just let him do his thing. We sit, Robbinside's her in team meeting. I don't say one word. Yeah. I mean, was she supposed to be funny? I mean, it just comes across as bitter. And it's, it's like total misrepresentation. He like elevated women and was protecting them if they choose that choice. If they choose to do that, if they choose not to do that, women have the choice. But sadly, it's like these bitter harpies that don't really age like fine wine. They age like, you know, Dale cheap-ass whiskey. But it's those chicks that get all upset if women don't choose the choices that they would choose themselves. And they're the ones who get all enraged over it. I mean,

it's this like, girl, like, what are you, what is your deal? Like, where do these, where do these bitter, single, childless broads get off going after a guy who's talking about his successful union, right? Again, it's like asking people who know nothing about these things to opine on these things. If you're not married with children, I don't give a rat's ass about your opinion on marriage or families. I don't. End of. And if you haven't been married as long as I have, as successfully as I have and raised successfully children as I have, I don't care about your opinion on families or children unless you're older than me. You've raised children longer than I have, and you've been married longer than I have. The audacity of how high these people get off of themselves.

This is part of the influencer cancer. Influencer cancer is when people who think that the cameras on their phone elevate them to a certain level of authority. When we're, Reality is not so kind, like it hasn't been to Chelsea Handler. But I will say that wasn't funny. Like her whole thing wasn't funny. She just seemed angry and bitter and mad. That's her thing. And that's it.

And notice that all these chicks that are on and on about this, they're angry and bitter and mad, which is probably why they're still single and childless. You know, I was going to say something wildly inappropriate, Cain. Wildly. Wildly. but I refrained. I am grateful for small miracles. Oh, I'll say it on break.

Yeah. Well, that's fine. Yeah, I mean... I prefer that. Yeah. Hi, I'm Erica, an English major at Hillsdale College. Here's Hillsdale President, Dr. Larry Arne, with the Constitution Minute. James Madison writes in Federalist 51 that men are not angels.

Their passions and self-interest often get the better of their reason and sense of justice. So we need government in order to protect our rights against those who would take them away. But for the same reason, Madison writes, government must be limited, because people in government have passions and interests too. Many Americans today forget this, supposing that we can do away with constitutional limits on government, supposing that the unelected bureaucrats being put in charge of our health care, for example, will rule as if they are angels.

If Madison was correct about human nature, this is foolish and dangerous. To learn more and get a free pocket constitution, visit constitutionminant.com. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Why is this a story? This is crazy. So, this is in a U.S. National Park. Is this supposed to, it's a great, it's a great smoky mountains. So the story is that there are apparently cannibals that live deep in the Appalachian Backwoods,

where this is a movie. Why is this not a horror movie? Is this a horror movie already? Kane's going, what? They said the descendants of men who deserted from the American Civil War, they are living completely independent from civilization. And they're up there in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, and people have been up there missing and getting eaten alive because of feral wild people up there in the park.

There are human-eating cannibals, which is the whole point of a cannibal. Was this what Maxine Waters was saying the other day when she said they're just training up in the hills? I don't know, is it? They said that there was a six-year-old. year old boy in the 1969 who stepped behind a bush on a camping trip with his family and they never saw him again. And the green berets got involved

in everything. But apparently people are getting ate up there. That's what I'm hearing. This is like a cryptid story. Wait, I don't think that you just go feral though, okay? You don't, like, even if, even if, like, you know, they say, what they say is true, you don't just like go feral.

Right? You you're not like a hog. You don't go like, you run out and sleep rough for three months and then you get all hairy and you get weird because you're eating mud. That's not how that works. All right. Stop. Okay. An Australian man was threatened with a $10,000 fine for running his air conditioner. Yeah, he said that they told him, he's not allowed to use it before 7 a.m. warning letter, noise disturbance written across the top. And they said that he would be hit with a $10,000 fine because his air conditioner is noisy and you're not apparently supposed to use certain air conditioners at residential premises. because if they can, oh my gosh, it's summer,

then buy them a new air conditioner. You blockheads. A Georgia woman calls 911 to get a raccoon tased and have deputies Google restaurant hours for her. A Columbia woman was arrested Sunday because sheriff's deputies, she said she kept calling 911 and it was non-emergency issues. So is the Augusta Chronicle,

the 54-year-old woman had been calling 911 very frequently over the last few months. So she said, she called on May 12th at one of the morning saying there was a raccoon on her porch and she needed a deputy to come tase it. And then she called back saying, I need you to escort me to the dumpster. And then at 5.30, the next day she called a deputy and said, can you look up three businesses for me because I'm hungry? Oh my gosh. So they went to their house and they were like, ma'am, you got to knock this off. And that's, you know, they did take her in because she would not. stop calling 911.

But calling to have a raccoon tased is my favorite, though, I think. That's, yeah. E-bikes, residents in Kami-Forna are on edge because teens on e-bikes are, this is the most Kami store, Kami California story of ever. They're terrorizing residents in South Bay. Teenagers on e-bikes, unruly teenagers driving recklessly. They're on Manhattan, Hermosa, and Redondo Beach. And they're near the peers, and they said they pick easy targets.

and all this stuff. They travel at excessive speeds. Democrat Law & Order. What? Yeah, Democrat Law & Order. We got more on the way. So this chick started. Hold on the last few days.

I thought we're going to, this was her video that she played at beginning, where she, it said being a single mom on your birthday, and so she makes their own cakes or her babies can have somebody to cheer for, right? That's how it started. That's the beginning. And everyone's like, oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, that's her. Well, now here's the rest of the story. This is the, well, go ahead and continue on. And before anyone says, oh, you don't know her situation or, you know, you don't know what she's going through, well, I do because I lived it. I'm her ex-husband, and right now I have whole custody of our kids. This is our parent agreement. As you can see, I have all weekdays and weekends, time sharing with the kids, all at holiday academic breaks.

And for her to get any rights back to the kids, these are the things that she needs to do. And yes, child support, she owes that. It's up to over $21,000. So she's a mother and doesn't pay child support. She was done arrested for check fraud, and during that hearing, it turned out that it was found that she stole almost a million dollars from another guy. And also, she fake cancer in the past. These are scans that she would send and post on her page before. Oh my gosh. This is like the side effects for medication.

You know, you can... I'm ashamed to admit that I kind of got pulled into this drama for a little bit over the weekend. I can't even believe everybody did. So first off, welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. I saw this video and I did not feel one ounce of sadness for this chick when I first saw the video. Now, judge me if you want to. But here's my reasoning on this, okay?

It's real simple. A chick that films herself crying is crazy. Tadda. That's it. That's the lesson. Right? It's weird. Stop it. Stop it. Who does that? Who's like, I'm going to cry now. She didn't even make it from scratch. It was from a package. Godly. I guess it's not hard to make a cake from scratch. Right. I didn't make a cake. So my babies, my babies, that's a lot.

I just can't deal with the level of drama with that. So again, I first saw this video and I was like, uh, uh, uh, uh, she filmed herself crying. Braza filmed themselves crying are crazy. That's the truth of it. So when the ex-husband got involved, before that man said a word,

I was like, that's the ex-husband. That's the first thing I thought. And I was right. I was right. It was. Now, everybody was sharing this. that video online and they were like oh my gosh it's all that no it's not like why is she in this position she's a grown woman in this position like you know stop it stop sitting here doing this stuff

so he said he's like well she good grief she like faked a lot of stuff apparently according to him right those were receipts guys kane can we just stop for a one minute and appreciate the fact that this man was thrown up receipts after receipt after receipt behind him those were illegal receipts actual receipts documentation so she hits back with no receipts there are no receipts in this

that's telling so go ahead and go ahead hit us go ahead and hit us with some of this we have we have this right was it the what or she's like his relapia and he with blah blah blah

blah and blah blah I don't think we pulled that out of oh we don't have to then yeah well she came back and she said that there were no receipts and she had said that he was abusive. What did she say? I mean, I accidentally closed it. Apparently, I didn't mean a lot to me.

She said that he was abusive and he uses legal and psychological tactics to limit her access and that he's, he's, he's associated with Scientology. What? What does that mean? Okay, first off, that's a be very careful with that. What do you mean? You're associated with something.

Is he a member of the Scientology stuff or is he not? And what does it matter? Where he had receipts on you. Well, all this, none of this matters without receipts. Raw seats. That's it. That's it. One word, two syllables.

Raw seats. That's it. So she's like, it's complex and challenging and, you know, blah, blah, blah. And, and that, blah. And she like went on for like three minutes and nine seconds with this stuff. There were, four of my girlfriends wanted to go for dinner for my birthday. And I said to him after the dance recital, I'm going to go to dinner.

And he was like, and, like, she just bitches. There are no receipts here. Girl, I don't believe you. If you put all of this online, you are asking us to get involved in your days of our drama. I don't believe her. I still don't believe her. I don't care. Now, no one's being forced to pick a winner in this, as I pointed out to Kane.

But Kane, she crazy. She is. And we've said it for a long time. Even on the show, whenever a woman records herself crying, that's a red flag. That's a red flag. Right. Anybody. They are manipulative.

Yes. Anybody who does that is a manipulative person. I cannot stand that. It's like when I see people be overdramatic on Facebook, I'm like, oh my gosh, will you please go outside and touch grass? Or how they'll, and I see people in that I know, like, like, I don't. want to say like sub tweet or sub post about each other and they get involved and they like text about each they text at each other and they they on on facebook or whatever like oh can you believe i wish some people but just stop with your drama stop with your drama i can't deal with it but it is

wild so that's that's the um you all saw that video steve did you think she was crazy when you first saw it you're like girlfriend filmed herself crying Did you immediately, were you suspicious? Oof. That's a red flag. See? See? Juan, you thought it was suspicious too, didn't you?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know what he's being taken in by that. Like maybe some bleeding heart females. The amount of people that film themselves doing basic things has gotten to a tipping point in society. It's kind of disgusting. He's not lying. Yeah, I can't stand it.

It is so annoying. Well, then when she brought up and came out after he, like, put up the child support and all those legal receipts. And then she comes out and is like, but Scientology, though. It's Scientology. So I no longer have a horse in this race. Yeah.

They're both completely insane. Well, I think he just had to come out and defend his own name, maybe. But I just, you know, I'm looking at her in her fancy kitchen with her super fancy, you know, oven range in the background. I'm like, girl, you're making a package cake and crying. So you only take so much of the effort, but not a lot of the effort. That's my first thought. I was like, A, you're filming yourself crying. You're crazy and manipulative.

Number two, you're in your super fancy kitchen with your nice, very expensive range behind you. And you are not making a cake from scratch. It's coming out of the package, which signals to me, and this is where I read really deep into things. You only like the appearance of something, but you don't like the work that goes into it. You're shallow, right? They're like the people who get copper cookware, but don't know how to cook, but they want to put it out for display. It's like that. She's like those people.

That's a lot. Some of you felt that. I know it. So I just got to say, I thought this chick was crazy from the go-go. And her husband, that reminds me of the ramen noodle guy. There it is right there. Oh my gosh. But it was weird to see the, it was weird to see how that played out on social media.

Because I saw a lot of, there were not a lot of conservative women I think bought into it, but I did see like some women like, oh, that's so sad. I'm like, no, it's not. I'm like, she's doing this because she's manipulating people and she wants people to feel sorry for her. I cannot stand chicks who do those stuff. There's some, social media is 99% manipulation. It is 99% manipulation.

It is the matrix. I love the people who are like, I'm raging against the system. You are the system. You're a slave to it. You love it. You love it. You wouldn't be anywhere without it. Stop.

Just wild. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.