The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Trump Roasts Everybody

Episode Date: October 18, 2024

Thursday evening’s Al Smith Dinner featured a roast by Donald Trump among many other comedians. Meanwhile, a CNN guest continues to claim no one in the media tried to suppress the Hunter Biden laptop story.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comClaim your free pocket Constitution today at DanaForHillsdale.comKelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comInnovation. Performance. Keltec. Learn more at KelTecWeapons.com today.Life360https://life360.comCoordinate family life with Life360.  Use code DANA to get 1 month of the Gold Package FREE.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.Relief Factorhttps://relieffactor.comDon’t mask pain, fight it naturally with Relief Factor.  Visit online or call 1-800-4-RELIEF today!Tax Network USAhttps://TNUSA.com/DANADon’t let the IRS control your life—empower yourself with Tax Network USA. Visit TNUSA.com/DANA

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. That is right. It's time for Florida man.

This is the Dana show. My name is Craig Collins, filling in. Thrilled to be with you. Let's get right to them. The first one doesn't sound like it's a Florida man story, but oh, baby it is.

This is an Australian transportation minister. I think he's outside of Melbourne, who is talking about a railway station flood that occurred during an Olivia Rodriguez concert. Again, none of this sounds like it's Florida man, but don't worry. We'll get to the Florida man part of it. Anyway, here is what it sounds like when a guy is reporting on some news and can't handle some of what he thinks is funny about it in what actually happened.

They thought at first it was vandalism. It was not vandalism. Initial reports were that it was an act of vandalism. I've been advised that Metro have reviewed the CCTV footage and it would appear that an amorous couple in a stairwell this was a spryplah. No, no, Melbourne Central Station in a stairwell late at night. Police are investigating.

In terms of what, the disruption caused by it? Well, there was extensive flooding. there is extensive damage in a stairwell caused by an amorous couple that bumped into a sprinkler. As you guessed it, the people are expected to be from Florida. The suspects in this case, there's been photos released and some people that have responded online. I can't confirm that these people are actually from Florida in the United States, but it appears that that might be the case. So Florida man can damage things even beyond the world of Florida.

If he, for some reason, goes to a Olivia Rodriguez concert and winds up being amorous with someone else, I love every part of that story for some reason. That is one Florida story. There are, of course, more. A Florida man was arrested for threatening utility workers because they weren't turning his power on soon enough. This is something that Kenneth Ray Valesco apparently did that got him arrested on Wednesday. He really, really wanted his power on, and he thought the workers were focusing too much on people that are not him. He was pulled over for a traffic stop after this event and arrested without incident because he was on.

on a whole bunch of cameras. No one was seriously hurt, by the way. He just threatened a lot of people and made things very awkward the entire time. I don't know if that's a good way to go about getting stuff done. I actually know for a fact it's probably not a good way to go about getting stuff done. If you want people to do you a favor, don't threaten them with harm. That's probably not going to make anyone more active and while it gets you arrested.

And then one final one, I do like this one a lot. A Florida man was caught with a stolen vehicle. He was joyriding it throughout parts of Florida, because why not? You got the vehicle. It's taken. All these things are happening. Pascoe County Police and a sheriff wound up commenting on the case, though, because it did go viral. 23-year-old kid named Cody had a monkey in the passenger seat with him.

No explanation as to why, but he had a monkey as a pet who was riding shotgun. He was trying to be some weird version of speed racer, I guess. I'm not exactly sure. But nonetheless, when you get pulled over speeding in a stolen vehicle and sit next to you, buckled in, which was nice to do, is a monkey. You're probably going to be talked about just a little bit. The guy gave no real answer as to why his monkey pet was with him there. And I think that that monkey has now been surrendered to those who might give it to a better

home of some kind or a zoo or something. I'm not really sure. I think Florida fish and wildlife officers were involved in this. No one seriously hurts. Just an idiot doing idiot things in Florida that now is going to have this follow him around. for the rest of his life. Cody will apply for a job 20 years from now after whatever time in jail has been served and he'll still have people find the story of him getting pulled over, speeding with a monkey in a stolen car, and that's not going to help him get any jobs.

I don't know why I thought about it that way, but I did. I can't wait for someone to Google this again and again again when they meet Cody Hess. Caltech, the P-15, just stands for 15 pews approximately. It's a great American company, Florida, company. Great success story as well. But Keltek, the P-15 is, doesn't matter if you're new. It doesn't matter if you're new to shooting like Tim Walz or if you're a seasoned old pro. This is, it's lightweight and powerful. You don't have to compromise stopping power for concealability. And that's what the P-15 delivers as two versions. You have a metal frame version and the polymer version. It's a striker fire pistol. Metal frame comes with these gorgeous walnut panels on it. The polymer version's got the gator grip texture. It's just a really nice looking gun.

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D-Lash, Radio on X, on Twitter. Great Race Ways to Stay Connected. Direct TV Channel 347, the first TV, one of many other ways to stay connected to Dana Lash. She's a lot of places because she's very, very famous. All right, I'm filling in, thrilled to be here, a bunch of things to talk about. I think I have to talk about the Al Smith dinner last night, not just because of Trump. Trump was uniquely funny.

But Jim Gaffigan, who is no fan of Donald Trump, has several, you know, long Twitter-X tirades out there about how terrible he is and is currently playing a character on SNL. I think he's Tim Walls on Saturday Night Live. I haven't seen a whole lot of that. I've seen a little bit of it. Some of it's genuinely actually funny. Some of it's not all that great. but he's a lot of places that you'd think that Democrats would be, and yet he did take shots at Harris not being at the Al Smith charity event, an event that raises money for Catholic charities

in New York City that's full of a lot of individuals that probably would vote for Harris and not for Trump, maybe up until she stiffed him that night. Before I get to, I just want to praise him, before I get to anything else, I might as well play the top five Trump jokes of the evening. because I do think they're all well done. There's one where he references people who wrote it form. I don't even think it's actually in the audio that I have. The meanest one, the one he calls nasty,

seems to be one that he didn't himself write, which means maybe he didn't write most of these jokes. But I also kind of wonder if that joke didn't go over as well as the others did if potentially he did write some of this material and he just knew to blame somebody else in that moment. I'm not sure, I don't know, but these are genuinely very funny things he said in front of a room that's mostly hostile to him.

Which even more, for anyone that wants to give credit unjustly to Kamala Harris for doing an interview with Fox News, what this is that I'm about to play took a lot more of, you know what. I used to think the Democrats were crazy for saying that men have periods, but then I met Tim Walts. Well, I'd better wrap up because Mayor Adams told me earlier that I needed to make this one very quick, especially the city is reserved. of this room for a large group of illegal aliens coming in from Texas. There's a group called White Dudes for Harris. Have you seen this? White Dudes for Harris. Do anybody know?

Some of you hear, white dudes for that doesn't sound like it. But I'm not worried about them at all because their wives and their wives lovers are all voting for me. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I want to stop it right there. I got two more that probably are the best jokes of the night. But that joke, their wives' lovers are voting for me, shot. Not only is a popular joke in social media, but it made Jim Gaffigan's wife laugh hard.

She thought that was very funny sitting right next to the podium where Trump is speaking. I thought that was interesting, that the comedian's wife sitting in the group of people that you can see on stage, a really, really enjoyed a joke that I'm sure a lot of mainstream media would want to attack and tell him he's a horrible person for making such a dirty, awful joke. Continue, sir. this race is childcare and Kamala has put forward a concept of a plan. A lot of people don't like it. The only piece of advice I would have for her and the event that she wins would be

not to let her husband Doug anywhere near the nannies. Oh. Wow. That's a nasty one. Chuck Schumer is here looking very glum. Isn't it looks dumb? It looks dumb. But look.

on the bright side check, considering how woke your party has become. If Kamala loses, you still have a chance to become the first woman president. These are all genuinely very funny jokes. And in all honesty, anyone who can't see the humor of Donald Trump hates him a lot. Because no matter how much you can dislike a guy, if they say something funny, you should at least acknowledge that it's funny, I would think. But a lot of people do struggle to do that. As far as Gaffigan goes, and he is a professional comedian, I did somewhat wind up being more surprised by his jokes than by the ones that Trump told, because again, Gaffigan is no fan of Republicans or typically Trump specifically.

And yet, I think his humor, if you see it on social media, if it goes viral anywhere, is going to be as harmful to Harris as the decision not to show up was. But here is one of those moments. has been referred to as the Catholic Met Gala. 22% of Americans identify as Catholic. Catholics will be a key demographic in every battleground state. I'm sorry, why is Vice President Harris not here? Why isn't she here? Consider this.

This is a room full of Catholics and Jews. in New York City. This is a layup for the Democratic nominee. I mean, in her defense, I mean, she did find time to appear on The View, Howard Stern, Colbert, and the longtime staple of campaigning, the Call Her Daddy podcast. That's a great joke. That's an excellent joke, too. Yes, she did take time to show up on the Call Her Daddy podcast.

podcast. Also, I have her campaign destroyed by Brett Baer on Fox News and not make it to this event in New York, an event that a whole lot of politicians go to all the time. If I were actually to give some sort of serious take and why I don't think you see Harris an event like this, it's actually because I don't think she has that side in her that you need to have in order to make jokes like this or tolerate jokes like this at your expense. She does seem angrier after Brett Baer's conversation. I know that's race. to say or sexist to say or something to say, I can't remember which one it is. But she genuinely does not seem very happy with a lot of what's going on.

And I think it's really interesting because there's a couple moments I can kind of point to to demonstrate why I think this is true. One of the most valuable ones is probably just the way that she's handling herself at her own events because there is some oddness to how some of this is going now. Just the other day, I think, that she was at an event in Wisconsin, one of her rallies. And she seemed to take a lot of joy in making fun of some of the people that were trying to interrupt and protest her at her event. You know, this is the kind of behavior that people attack all the time in Trump. But I guess when Harris does it, it's okay.

It's fine. It's something good. But she just seems angrier. Here we go. Donald Trump, hand-selected three members of the United States Supreme Court. with the intention that they would undo the protections of Roe v. Wade, and they did as he intended. Oh, you guys are at the wrong rally.

She is smiling and waving at people that are protesting her about abortion and the difference of opinion they have with abortion rights and kind of thrilled as the crowd turns on these people. Now, granted, I've seen Trump joke with people that are showing up to protest him at his events. So I'm not saying she can't do this sort of thing. I'm not trying to shame her. I don't anyone to think that.

Although I guess I wouldn't care what you think. But in all honesty, I just thought it was interesting that this type of person is coming out more often now. In today's fast-paced world, the mental load on families has become significantly heavier, particularly because everybody navigates new schedules and a lot of responsibilities. And with an increasing array of activities and work commitments and school-related tasks to manage can often feel like juggling is a constant act. Life 360 makes it easy to keep track of everybody without the constant back and forth. It's like helicopter parenting without helicoptering. Life 360 has real-time location sharing so you can track your kids when they're driving to school

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It is time for a quick 5. Let's get right into them. Several crazy stories out there in the world. One of them, I thought this was interesting. California police struggled with an unusable Tesla patrol car after going green. Apparently some of the cars are dying for reasons they don't know. they've diminished safety standards in the area. Community seems worried.

Also cars with insanely expensive repair bills. If they do break down, way to go, California. You've now made it so police can't even get around if they need to after vilifying them entirely just a short time ago. So this is great. This is fantastic. This is going to help you on a lot. Another quick five story. Sir Richard Branson is to pilot the first crude flight of $125,000, $1,000.

a piece space balloon flights. This is with a cocktail service and Wi-Fi, which I kind of thought was hilarious. Richard Branson, of course, famous for going to space on his own already, doing all kinds of things, but he's going to take a hydrogen balloon with eight passengers, 20 miles above Earth. They get to hang out with the business tycoon and get drunk.

I don't know how drunk you'd get if you were flying in a hot air balloon in space or just barely into space, but I would get very, very drunk. That would be my goal in that moment because it was already such an expensive trip. I'm going to make it worth it, darn it. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that I get my money's worth. And then also the fact that part of that is just ridiculous that it exists in our society in which we live.

Another thing I saw, billions of gallons of water are needed to refill a lake. This is in Wichita. The city said that they're really struggling to figure out how to do this on their own. it's 25.9 billion gallons of water. I don't think you should do it. It's just me personally, probably not the right answer, probably not the right decision, but I just let it go.

I just let that lake not have the amount of water you want to fill it up with because it does feel weird to leave like the hose in the lake and just wait for it to get to the point where it's gotten to those billions of gallons. That's a lot of hoses. So I would say move on from that situation, but that's me. I'm sure everybody else is not going to pay attention to that.

They're going to tell me, for some reason, my take is horrible. some value in whatever they're doing. It just seems oddly, overly challenging. That's how I wanted to say that. One last one as far as Quick Five, a rare copy of the U.S. Constitution is up for auction, is expected to sell for millions of dollars. Even as a whole lot of people now say that they hate the Constitution, even the New York Times has articles about how the Constitution is dated, which is hilarious, and no longer needs to be followed in every sense of what we'd like to follow it in. But hey, some people still like it and they'd like to buy it for quite a bit of money.

I think that some of that actual money spent at that auction is going to go to disaster relief in North Carolina, et cetera, because of Hurricane Helene, which is also odd. I will say that the fact that FEMA and everyone else is failing and the amount of government support for places like North Carolina is a topic of news constantly. And then you have the Constitution selling at an auction and being something that could fundraise to help. It's just odd. That almost would be the kind of thing that you feel like Alanis Morissette would sing about in some sort of song that was mistitled about irony. But anyway, those are some of the top five stories out there. I thought this was interesting as far as other just audio out there in the world.

It's a bunch of CNN clips that are reacting to certain here. You know what? Actually, I'll play this one first, and then we'll react to it after the fact because I think it might be more fun that way for this specific clip. So here we go. Let's fire this off. There is no proof that tech companies colluded to do this. This is nonsense, and he knows it. No, I'm sorry.

Scott, I'm going to go to frank on you here on. No, there was absolutely. Listen, I have been one of the biggest critics of tech. This is nonsense. Absolutely nonsense. And when he just sort of discounts, all the court cases, dozens and dozens of them. Was the New York Post thrown off Twitter? They were, and then they, Scott, let me try again to explain to you what actually happened.

They made a mistake. I know. And I live through it, too. And guess what? the New York Post and the story off Twitter. Scott, let's look at her for she's actually done what you're talking about. So it's really hard to deal with you. Scott, Scott, how dare you? How dare you have an opinion

that's different from this woman that's sitting on our stage here that's actually written about these things? Even if she's been proven to be wrong, many of the things you wrote about. How dare you say it? No, I'm not insulting you. I don't know why you keep repeating things that aren't true. Did they get thrown off Twitter? They did, and then they said that we made a mistake and they put them right back on it, just like CNN does, just like the New York Times.

It wasn't after the election. It was during the time. and they switch Jack Dorsey's switch. So I think what the issue is, is you think Twitter is the government. You think Twitter is running things. And there's not this wide collusion, but Jay and Genevance knows that because he's worked in tech. He knows there's no such thing as big tech. There are big tech companies. They do not collude on this issue.

That is ridiculous. And here's why it's ridiculous, actually. And I love that this went viral because so much of it is so awesome. So many big tech companies had the same sensibility. whether they're getting on the phone and chit-chatting with each other or not, it's a close-knit group as any close-knit group within a industry is. And before Elon Musk bought Twitter, you didn't even hear anyone like Mark Zuckerberg out there saying the things he says now.

Zuckerberg says they'll do less to censor political speech on their platform. I don't know that it's actually true in what's happening on said platform, but they say they're going to do less of it. And that's because an individual got hold of one of the biggest platforms in social media and turned off that switch. And we got to see behind the scenes twice. One, the Twitter files, which came out and showed us all the different things that occurred that allowed for government to have a deep influence, a deep reach, almost

an arrogant version of an attempt to silence information, whether it's the Hunter Biden laptop that they're talking about there, whether it's the coronavirus information and questioning of certain things that was silenced and now seems to be the consensus among a whole lot of medical people, that those. individuals were right, both in the lack of risk for young people and even some of the potential risks for vaccines and whatnot. All of that is much more agreed upon years later, but was silence then. And so the point being made on CNN is if you correct a mistake you made, it doesn't mean you never made the mistake. And essentially, the argument being made by tech and people like

Kara Swisher, who's the podcast host talking about this issue along with a conservative guest on CNN, or at least someone who's supposed to be a conservative guest. The thing that's so interesting to me, the thing that essentially means that, hey, that thing we did wrong didn't happen, is if you get it right later. And that's the whole point. The point is to silence for as much time as you can

so that things can move forward, people can forget, and then you go ahead and reshape the narrative and do something different just a little bit later. I was actually talking to an economic expert earlier this week, somewhere else where I do a radio, and one of the biggest things that's come out recently and is tremendously important in another field.

Job report numbers that have been changed, violent crime numbers that have been changed, economic numbers that have been rethought, things that essentially get rolled out day one when they get announced. Media reacts to them, politicians celebrate these things. We created this many jobs.

We, you know, have lowered violence by this much. We've done this and this differently. And then you pay attention to the organizations that put out this information, and a month later, two months later, sometimes longer, oh yeah, we got to change something. We got to quietly try to update those numbers,

and they're utterly different. They're shockingly different, actually, when it comes to job numbers or crime data, in which for a while there was a claim that in 2023, crime numbers went down, and now they're saying crime numbers, in fact, went up, especially violent crime. But you have a debate between two presidential candidates,

and you have a fact check from someone who's obviously leaning on one side of the aisle, even though they're not supposed to, about that exact topic. And many Americans walk away. I can't tell you, here's one last thing I'll say, and then I need to take a break. I can't tell you how many people still believe

some of the misinformation of what happened during COVID, and that's what I'm going to call it, misinformation. They still believe it. And they believe it because they haven't checked in again on any of that data since they were told years ago what someone told them was the truth then,

and now those individuals themselves would even admit they were wrong about. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.