The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Twitchy Tampon Tim

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

AOC and Tim Walz pretend to stream themselves playing Madden on Twitch. Meanwhile,  Comedian Tony Hinchcliffe refers to Puerto Rico as being a floating pile of garbage at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally. Did that hurt the campaign?Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comClaim your free pocket Constitution today at DanaForHillsdale.comKelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comInnovation. Performance. Keltec. Learn more at KelTecWeapons.com today.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.PreBornhttps://preborn.com/danaHelp a woman meet her baby for the first time by donating to PreBorn!  To donate securely dial #250 and say keyword BABY or visit Preborn.com/DANA. ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.Relief Factorhttps://relieffactor.comDon’t mask pain, fight it naturally with Relief Factor.  Visit online or call 1-800-4-RELIEF today!Tax Network USAhttps://TNUSA.com/DANADon’t let the IRS control your life—empower yourself with Tax Network USA. Visit TNUSA.com/DANA

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. All right, so a couple of stories here. This involving Snakers. I don't know why. This is a sad story.

So this dude, this Florida man, was convicted of murdering a teenager over a pair of Yeezies. Adidas Easy. And he lunged at the victim's father in the courtroom. A Florida man, he murdered a teenage girl over these Yeezy Sneakers four years ago. They're in court. And he, Adrian Cosby, 23, murdered 18-year-old high school senior Andrea LeCayo. And during his sentencing, LeCheos' father read a statement that set the murderer off. And LeCeo's father said that you're the epitome of evil in dark,

us that this world represents and he says your animal, he called him an animal, said you're, you know, in prison the rest of your life. Cosby immediately started cussing him, left from his chair and it took six officers to restrain him. And it happened when Lekeo and her boyfriend were looking to sell these shoes that were, they're like really expensive. And they said that they met with this guy outside of an abandoned house and homestead. And they were kind of going back and forth over payment and that's when Cosby approached he was I guess in the he was with the other guy

approached the driver's door, shot both of them and then they took the shoes for $935 is what they did. So that's crazy and also never do a shoe exchange outside of an abandoned home anywhere. That's like super sketch. How many people have samurai swords in Florida?

Because this dude used a samurai sword because we just literally had a samurai sword or a machete. What was it? It was a machete. This dude was accused of using a sword to attack his friend over an Xbox. The guy is from Daytona Beach. He had stopped by the victim, Walter Grimes, stopped by the victim's apartment along South Beach Street. They were going to hang out.

The dude was upset because he was currently homeless and he had to walk around with this stuff. Apparently he knew this guy for like the victim for like two years. When Grimes asked the victim if he was going to give him his Xbox, the victim replied no. And then that's when Grimes grabbed a samurai sword and struck the thin friend. twice across the left side of their face and shoulder. And then he grabbed the Xbox Marine away. So they obviously called 911 and the victim is okay. But this dude was on the run.

That's kind of crazy. And you knew the dude for two years. Sounds like he was probably sketchy before then. I'm just going to say it seems like he probably was. Okay. So this is another machete story. This was just the other day. In Palm Coast, WFLA.

A Palm Coast man. was arrested because deputies say he threatened workers who were doing stormwater inspections. It was a maintenance company. He got mad because they temporarily blocked a road and he jumped out of his car and was swinging around a machete. Flager County. I mean, it's like, that's like normal, I guess, is the thing that you have like gators and machetes there, I guess. The employees told officials that 43-year-old Miguel Rodriguez was mad because they blocked

the road while backing up one of their vehicles. They didn't have any signs posted. deputies say they had several signs posted, whatever. But they said that Rodriguez drove around the worksite, stopped his truck, got out to yell, I'm going to chop some bees up. Not like bees, but you know what I mean? While walking towards him with a machete, one worker said he ran into a wooded area because he feared for his life. Then Rodriguez got back into his truck and sped off into traffic.

So they did find him. And he literally, he had several machetes in his truck. Kane, he kept the machete that he used, just kept it right there in the dam. dashboard. His car was parked. He was in, you know, doing something and it just kept it right there on the dashboard. Is that like an, like a auto theft deterrent? Like, would you bust up into somebody's car if they just had like a racete, like, a machete, like laying all cool light up in the...

You just never know who you got to cut last minute. I just want to know why that seems so commonplace. The machetes. I don't know. Our partners are friends at Hillsdale College. The only, I think one of the last remaining educational institutions left. They were founded in 1844 to offer the education needed to preserve civil and religious liberties, a small Christian classical liberal arts college located in southern Michigan.

They have a ton of free resources for you that you can take advantage of. They have their deep dive educational podcasts. They also have their free speech, digest, and primus. And they're also giving away free pocket constitutions. To get yours, just visit Dana for Hillsdale. That's F-O-R-Hillsdale.com to get your free pocket constitution. and it's an initiative that's part of their mission to spread awareness about our nation's core values. And you can take advantage of this opportunity.

Go there, sign up, give me your address. They're not going to sell your information. They literally just like want to send you a pocket constitution. And if you have one, you can send one to someone you know who does not have one. It's a great way to share these crucial documents with the next generation. So to get your free copy of the pocket constitution, visit Dana 4, F-O-R, Hillsdale.com, fill out the form. They'll mail it to you with free shipping. This offer won't last long.

So get yours today. That's Dana4, Hillsdale.com. Now, all of my friends who are into football have been asking, does this guy even, did he ever actually coach football? Everybody's been asking me this. Now, Kane and Steve, I set you guys up in Slack. I'm like, somebody's got to explain this to me. I know nothing about football, nothing, because I came from St. Louis.

Okay? St. Louis is a baseball town. We had a big deal with our football. football and it was big and bad and it was very dramatic. So don't ask because, you know, it's, there's only two ways you get St. Louisans angry when you talk about imbev buying Anheuser-Busch to say nothing of the woke stuff that they did. And then when you get into football. So anyway, he was playing Madden with AOC, which you know neither of them do this. Neither of them play. Did it look like they knew what they were doing? I mean, with walls,

we're getting ready to talk about it didn't. But it didn't look like they knew at all what they were doing. And so he posts this like screenshot. Tim Walls does. And he apparently, well, he got dragged for it. So they were on Twitch. They were streaming. Twitch is like a streaming platform. So you can play games and do stuff. And then you can stream on it. And people can watch you play. And he was doing this yesterday. He, he posted AOC can run a mean pick six sorry can run a mean pick six and I can call an audible on a play and we both know that if you take the time to drop a playbook you're going to use it and run a mean pick six

so from what I was told a pick six is not a defensive scheme play call or formation it is a term when defense returns an interception for a touchdown can't explain that to me like I'm two I know nothing about football. Let's say your quarterback is throwing downfield to...

That's the Tom Brady position, right? Exactly, to hit his wide receiver for a touchdown or whatever. And then the other team intercepts it and they run it all the way back to their end zone for the six points. They picked the ball, ran it in for six. That's a pick six. That's not a formation. It's not a play that you write down and say this is what we're going to do. It's just you hope it happens if you're on defense.

Why did he, someone on his, so someone in his camp deleted this tweet, but the internet's forever, guys. And the dragging had beguneth. Did he say it was a pick six because there were six players on the, I don't understand why he said that. On the line of scrimmage? Yeah. That's what I was going to say.

Sure. Yes. Because it looks like she has six people. up. Why would he say that? First off, if you don't know what you're talking about, why would you say something like this? I don't know if he's doing, is he like a troll? Is he a playant?

I don't know. I mean, we know he is for the CCP. But the reason I say this is he, this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. Why would you say this? Audio sound bite 20 gag us all now. because this is where he just, I don't know, watch. This is so hard to watch. It's so bad.

Are we going to play some ball or what are we going to do? Yeah, let's do it. I'm ready to get beat. All right. Yes, I'm ready. Let's do this thing. Oh, no. This is so bad.

I got a good quarterback. You got a good quarterback. He is. He is a good quarterback. This is so awkward. Neither does look like they're enjoying this. I tried. I tried.

See, you're a pro, though, so you can call these audibles. Well, I think I know what these guys are doing, but I don't know which damn button. They literally do not know. And I keep going back to this, this project 2025 from personal freedoms. I think a lot of folks on here are kind of independent folks, independent thinkers. This is so stupid. Why would you want the government telling you what books to read or what doctor to see? So basically they're pretending to play.

And they're playing like, so one of our listeners slash viewers said, well, I can't say what they sent. They're playing fecaly, I guess, is the best way. Like, they don't even know how to play. So apparently this person's like, his name is Joe. He's like a hardcore madden person. He's like, they're playing. And it was like telling me, I don't even know about, like I know the guy that the game was named after. And that's legit all I know.

Like, I'm not going to fake it like Tim Walls, right? I'm not going to fake it like AOC. I legit know nothing. I would be scoring on myself a million times if I play this guy. I have no idea. Touchdowning on myself. I don't know. Go team.

Whatever. Score down, whatever. Not even going to lie. Everyone's like, oh dear heavens, stick to guns. See, that's what I'm saying. He does not do that. He does not play. Come on.

You know he does not play. But they're faking this and they're going, they're trying to make, they're so desperate for young dudes that they're on Twitch and they're trying to make a play for the, for the dudes that are on Twitch and the dude gamers, right? I mean, there are women gamers, but I mean, it's just a, it's just way more dudes. And so it's who I play. Now, I've never played Madden. I usually, I'll like play horror games or first person shooter and that's pretty much it.

And I've never had a conversation with anybody like, so. Actually, I don't talk when I play. And I'm really selective about any kind of like co-op or squatting up because, you know, and I definitely don't talk when I do. But I would never sit there and be like, so, guys, what do you think about this? all this stuff about Project 25, like, what's up? Like, oh my gosh, can you believe with Kamala Harris

and this fracking? Because you sound like a loon. No one plays to do that. They play to get away from those people. When people play, they want to, when I play, I want to blow stuff up and shoot tyrannids in the face, and I don't

want to be burdened by what has been. I don't want to have to deal with this from these people. Right? We can all agree. We want an escape. That is my escape. Right? I have a friend that watches, like, the serial killer murder true crime stuff and like the gory or the better. And then, and she like really believes that one day she's going to solve a cold case. Like she goes to the whole like expose, legit and everything. That's her escape, right? That's her escape. Because she works in administration for health

and she's got to get away. It's a heavy job. She's, she needs an escape. Her escape is serial killers. sidebar is that really like would you ever want to mess with those people like their escape is true crime like you're just asking to get murked i and they know how to do it i just you know i got to say anyway back to this did it look like they were playing i don't i don't how do you know that it wasn't a staffer playing i don't know they would have had to intentionally act like they didn't kind of know what they were doing i mean he acts like he's a he's a heisman winner I know what that is. He acts like he's a Heisman trophy winner and that you should respect his authority about football.

And then he's like, oh, what to pick six? Why would you say something like that publicly? Again, back to my original question, knowing that you are going to get dragged on the internet if it's not correct. You know what I'm saying? Why? It's the knucklehead, Dana. It's just knucklehead stuff. Our friends over at Keltec, the P-15.

If you haven't gotten to Kel-Tec, if you haven't gotten the P-15, you really need to. It is the lightest thinest. literally the lightest, thinnest double-stack 9mm on the market. Nothing is lighter or thinner than this thing. And it is nine, like I said, double-stack magazine, you don't lose the stopping power, and you don't lose any power at all. And it's super ultra-concealable. It's from the inventors of the microcompact pistol category.

And the versions, it comes in a metal version and a polymer version. The metal version has the walnut wood panels. And you have the gator grip texture on the, the polymer. Two magazines, standard 15 round, minimal pinky extension. The other's the Fleshfit, double stack mag that holds 12 for ultra-concealability, treating them in fiber optic front side, fully adjustable

fiber optic two dot rear, striker fire, smooth trigger, lifetime warranty. Again, it is from the inventors of this category and quality made right here in the US of A. Innovation performance in Keltec, learn more at Keltecweapons.com. That's KELTECWeapons.com. It's the

P-15. Tell them that Dana sent you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So the possible, let's say, a couple of things. The DA, actually I wanted to get to this, because we had this headline last week. Philadelphia DA sues Elon Musk and his super PAC over that million dollar sweepstake. Yeah. Well, you kind of knew that that was going to, that they were going to try to do something. Whether or not it's illegal, I just feel like money is speech and you can do whatever the hell you want. They said it was an illegal lottery scheme.

How was it in the legal lottery scheme? Because he was just saying you need to come. If you come and you support this, like voter integrity and you sign this petition, it wasn't getting people to vote. Do you think it was an indisputably unlawful lottery cane? I don't really think it was either. I feel like these people don't know what lotteries are. So that's going to be a fun lawsuit for everybody.

Aliens can be wandering around the earth right now. Speaking of musk, this is something he believes. I kind of hope so. He says that he hasn't seen it, but we should, he was joking, we should have an alien registration card. I hope there are aliens walking around because I am bored senseless with the people already here on Earth. Not you guys, but like the left, I'm bored senseless. Oh, wait, wait, it's an election season. There's a wait, somebody gets called Hitler.

Like, I can't, you know, I, I wish, I hope that there's some spice in life. Let's have some aliens or some bigfoot, whatever. I just, we need some kind of, we need to. we need some kind of fun, but they said it could be walking around Earth right now. This $7 billion for a city within a city planned for Phoenix. Well, that sounds like hell. It's called Hallow Vista. It's a manufacturing complex developed by a Taiwan.

Ooh, Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company. Love them. Semiconductors. Wait a minute. Full stop. Reverse. They said they're spending $65 billion. It could go to $120 billion.

So it'll be like a manufacturing plant, a city within the city. I'm totally fine with that. And they're paying. So go, yeah, go ahead. I thought it was going to be like that crazy wall that they're building out in the desert in the Middle East. Remember the city wall where everybody lives in this giant wall? That looks weird. I don't know.

A man was beaten with a mop with a mop near a stadium complex in South Philly, say police. Beaten to death with a mop. One man attacked another man with a mop near the intersection of the stadiums. And they said that it was about 420 in the more. Of course, it was 420 in the morning. And the altercation, the victim was beaten to death with this improvised weapon. It doesn't sound like it was improvised. It was just a mop.

Stick with us. We've got more in store. So can we talk about the Puerto Rico thing? Now, we have a very interesting insight. First, let me set it up. Let me sit up because he was at Madison Square Garden and he invited this comedian, Tony Hitchcliff, to come up to the microphone and tell some jokes. This is always kind of an awkward thing. So let me just start by saying, it is always awkward to bring up a comedian when you are in a political, you're at a political event and everyone is one. kind of like-minded, right? Because I think part of the beauty of comedy is being able to recognize the funny things about yourself and take it lightheartedly, you know? But the thing is, so he, this guy, Tony Hinchcliffe, he gets up, he does a short bit at the microphone.

Do we have the joke? Should we even, yeah, we'd have it. This is, Steve's like, yep, I want to play this because I, now I will say, I don't think Trump looked at the rundown. It was like, yeah, this is great. Let's roll with this. I think it was the campaign people.

but again, you know, the buck stopped somewhere. I don't know who thought that, I don't know, he does this show in Austin, Texas. Is this the guy that has the Trump impersonator that comes out? Yeah. That's actually funny. The guy who does the Trump impersonator is actually hysterical. Oh my gosh. It is actually hysterical.

And it's not like mean-spirited or anything. So I've seen this guy do his stuff before. But so he's based in Austin. It's actually really, because he has like a Bidener. I watched one show that he'd have a Biden impersonator and a Trump. and a Trump impersonator. And then it was actually very funny. So he comes out.

So it's already, I just feel like it's a tough gig. You're at a political rally. You're at a political rally in New York. You're at a political rally in New York at Madison Square Garden. So just there's a lot there. So here's, this is what happened. You know, there's a lot going on. Like, I don't know if you guys know this,

but there's literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now. Yeah. I think it's called Puerto Rico. Okay. All right. Okay. We're getting there. Again, normally I don't follow the national anthem, everybody. This isn't exactly a perfect comment. So what gets me is, so he was saying other, he actually was going after everybody. He was saying what was one of his jokes was Israel and Gaza should settle their beef with best out of, like best out of three rock papers and scissors. but Gossens will always choose to throw rock.

That's actually funny. I get it. I understand. I don't believe in cancel culture. We have a very interesting perspective at the show because one of our producers who works with the first is Puerto Rican. And he's actually conservative. I don't know how much you want me to out you Juan, but, and I was asking him about this.

And I'm like, okay, you know, because I was like, were you offended? Were you just so offended and now you're like, cancel everything? Juan's never talked on the show before. ever since this is his first time ever. Normally he's pushing a million buttons. Hey guys. No, I was not offended. I think it just like it goes right into the left's narrative, obviously because, oh, Puerto Rican centrally left, but I mean, I believe there's a big part of the Puerto Rico community that

it's actually conservative. So that's why the mixed reaction in the crowd. you know so but at the same time i also don't believe in uh cancel culture so i mean that's it that's up for it i asked one i was like you tend to lean conservative and he was like dead on in his answer he was like puertoicans are naturally conservative isn't that what you said i found that fascinating yeah you were like puerto rican's that are naturally concerned and he's he's like i wasn't offended but you don't believe that it was the place to do to do that yeah it's just not the forum. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Thank you. Thank you, one. And my whole thing is,

never set yourself up to give your opponent oppo or any kind of political ammo. Never do that. And I was reading, so a friend of mine was writing about this, he's a podcaster, his name's Jeff Charles, and he always jokes about, like, in a fun tongue-and-cheek way, people of whiteness. And these are people, my friend wrote, who put themselves in positions to be mauled horribly by dangerous animals because they treat the dangerous animals as like friends and pets. And it's like this long-running joke. Like, why do you do this? And it's funny because it's actually true. I mean, you know, I mean, so he jokes and he's like, people of whiteness, why do you do this?

Like, why are you trying to pet the bear? Quit it. Why? Why are you even go and touch this moose? You're going to get like beaten to death by the moose. Why would you do this? And it's funny because you know that's true. That's why it's funny.

but there's a time and a place for that stuff. You know what I mean? And this close to the election, do I think that something like this is like an immediate, is it a big, I don't think it's a big deal. I really don't. And I think the people who are trying to make it a big deal

are desperate prostitutes. You really are. Stop it. Stop pimping for Big Kamala because it's ridiculous. It looks stupid. I am so done with people being offended. I don't think that there's such a thing as being offended. I just think you're a pansy.

I think that you're weak and that you're, soft and that you are not made to go out and mingle with the public. So until you harden up, you need to keep your ass back in your house because you are ruining it for the rest of us. Was it the place that he should have done this joke? No. And this is where I think it's weird because if you're in comedy, there are certain times when you should be able to read the room and know, this is going to hit and this isn't. Or this is the place to do it and this isn't. You know what I mean there's certain, like for me, for instance, if there are certain times if I'm going to events, I can tell if people are in the mood for a deep discussion or if they're in the mood for me to

just like shred people. I mean, you know what I mean? It's there's a difference. And you guys know this too. Like sometimes you're in the mood to watch different things. So there's, you got to read the room and it just wasn't the best place to make this joke. Is it a campaign end or no? and that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Furthermore, I'm just like wondering why the left thinks they get to be the arbiter

of taste on this stuff. I mean, you literally have, I mean, well, like what, like all of the people that are freaking out about this, all of the rhetoric from the left,

all of the dumb jokes from the left, all, I mean, for crying out loud, let's never forget the view talking about, well, if you stop allowing, allowing immigrants and who's going to clean your toilets?

I mean, that's an actual soundbite from the view. All of this. It's so stupid. So it's, I think this is just the outrage. They're trying everything that they can do to stoke division or grab onto something to use as substance. But I mean, you know, I think a lot of people, I don't think that, you know, conservative Puerto Ricans, I think the only people that are caring about it are the, white Marxist saviors. Those are the only people that are trying to make it a big deal.

And they're like, oh, this guy needs to be canceled. They've been trying to cancel this dude now. And I mean, isn't he Puerto Rican too himself? Hinchcliffe? Oh, I don't know. So I thought I read something like that. But I mean, the thing is, he's a comedian and he's, he made a joke and he took a risk. And that's part of comedy. Was it the best place to do it? No. Is it a career under? No. And I think that people who say it should be, they ought to be the ones who are canceled. I'm just tired of it. I think we're all tired of it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast.

If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.