The Date with Confidence Podcast - Dating Apps: I'm Immediately Swiping Left If I See This

Starting point is 00:00:00 Let's talk about dating profiles. Dating profiles that I'm immediately swiping left on. So you know when you land on someone's profile and literally within seconds you see this thing and you're like, yep, they are not for me, see ya. So these are some of the things that are instant no's for me. Welcome to the Date With Confidence podcast, a place to come for

Starting point is 00:00:28 dating advice, support and stories that'll either fill you with hope or relief that your dating experience wasn't as bad as it could have been. With practical episodes that'll provide you with easy to implement tips to help you feel confident AF on your next date, alongside light-hearted catch-ups where your host Rebecca, that's by the way shares her own experience dating after four years of the single life you are guaranteed to end each episode feeling less alone in your dating struggles empowered to never settle again and confident that the best is yet to come and if it all falls to shit there's a special first season dedicated to breakups you you are welcome my friend. Subscribe, review and share with your single friends. Casual little episode, something light-hearted because you know,

Starting point is 00:01:13 we could all do with some light-heartedness every now and again, couldn't we? Now I'm going to be completely transparent. I haven't been on a dating app. I haven't even opened a dating app since January. Did I even go on there in January? Oh my god, I don't know. I don't even think I went on there in January. So I started dating someone new in January and since I've been dating him, I haven't been on the apps. The apps are still on my phone because I have got my attract on the apps course and I want to take a screenshot of my profiles to add to that course before I delete the profiles but you can tell I haven't been on there for ages because all the apps that I was on so I was on five I was on field bumble hinge tinder and thursday and all five of them have offloaded themselves off my phone so if

Starting point is 00:02:06 you've got an iphone you'll know that if you don't use that for a long time it offloads from the phone so i haven't been on there for a while which is fine and but when i was on there there were always certain things that i would see that i'd just be like what are you doing like what are how is this your profile like do you not understand that you're supposed to be making a good impression? Like, do you not understand that your profile is going to attract people to you or repel them completely? Like, what are you doing? And I'm sure you have experienced this as well. So these are my instant, instant no-goes. And do you know what else is really upsetting? Remember when I said to you back in November, when I went to Valencia, or was it October? When I went to Valencia to stay with my friend Amandine and we recorded like a three hour episode that I was obviously going to share with you well that episode disappeared and I've been

Starting point is 00:03:14 devastated because we talked about dating apics and yeah it's it's gone I'm just seeing if I've got the notes actually so that I can kind of add hers in as well no I didn't I literally just I've got a list of all the things that we covered in that podcast episode because we had some bullet points before we started recording it but I don't have the actual content from there which is devastating but we're not going to dwell on it so let's talk about let's get into this before I end up waffling even more um okay things that I'm instantly swiping left on nicknames if you have not put your name in the like in the name section like I'm not swiping on you I don't want to date a nickname I want to date you and what if it ends up that you've got a really bad like really

Starting point is 00:04:08 shit name what if you've got a really shit name and that's why you're using the nickname and then I have to date someone with a shit name like no do I sound like an arsehole I don't really care um so yeah so if you put a nickname in there I'm not gonna date you for also like and it's not even like a funny like my friends call me this like if you add your nickname in there as in like my friends know me by x that's fine but putting your actual name as a nickname is a no-go for me no detail in the bio like I'm sure we can all agree on this one is there anything more irritating than when someone uses their bio space and says if you want to get to know me ask like no why would I do that why would I go out of my way to message you a load of questions so that then you go why are you asking

Starting point is 00:05:08 me all these questions like why would I put the time and energy into asking you basic questions that you could just answer in your bio I'm not going to do that when I am actively dating and I am looking to connect with people your profile is what's going to make me decide whether I want to connect with you or not and if you've not even bothered to put any information in that profile you're clearly not interested in dating like I know how annoying it is to have to write a bio I know how uncomfortable it can be to write about yourself I know how confusing it can be and how you have that maybe lack of confidence to know what to actually put in your bio is why I created the attract on the apps course but you have to push yourself out of that comfort zone you have to push through that discomfort of

Starting point is 00:05:57 writing about yourself because otherwise you're not going to match with people you're not going to match with the the type of person that you're looking for like you have to be specific in there so no detail in bio in bio is an absolute no-go for me the next thing topless photos like yeah i can appreciate them um okay maybe maybe i need to i wrote this list a while ago um when i knew that i wanted to record this episode maybe i would change that slightly because when i was on field and was more just looking for like someone to hook up with and maybe not be so serious with someone like of course I would swipe right on a topless photo if I also liked their profile and found them attractive on normal apps I'm using inverted commas normal is not the word I want to use but on like your typical tinders and your hinge and your butt and your bumble topless photos no i'm not into it i don't i don't find it um something that i would be looking for in a long-term partner

Starting point is 00:06:52 like what you what are you trying to achieve i'm it's not for me cats is another one if someone's got a cat in their profile and this isn't because i don't like cats it's because I'm allergic to cats so I don't want to be matching with anyone where I'm gonna meet them and then I'm instantly gonna end up sneezing or my eyes are gonna stream or my throat's gonna close up when I've just gone in for a hug or I wouldn't want to go and stay at someone's house that's got cats because of how allergic I am and I don't just want to live on hay fever pills for the rest of my life so if you've got a cat in your profile no offense to you no offense to your cat but it's a no from me another one complaining about dating apps like okay it's not our favorite thing it's not anyone's favorite thing but complaining about the dating apps like you've got a limited amount of space to tell someone about

Starting point is 00:07:48 you to try and make a connection with someone and you're going to use that space to whinge and moan like what are you talking about like what are you what are you doing why would you use that limited space to be negative to moan about stuff like that instantly space to be negative, to moan about stuff, like that instantly says to me I'm a whinger in real life and I don't want to be with someone that whines and whingers all the time because it drags me the fuck down and that's not the vibe I'm going for. Then any mention of sessions with the lads or spending their days hungover you know when the prompt is like how do you spend your sundays and it's all recovering from a sesh with the lads like no that's what my 20s were for it's not what i want in my 30s especially now i'm dating older

Starting point is 00:08:41 i've been dating older guys who are like late 30s early 40s if you're still session with the lads on a Saturday to me like I'm not going to be prioritized our relationship our life is not going to be prioritized I'm not here for it I didn't particularly like it when my exes used to go out every weekend I'm not gonna like it now I'm getting older and I want to create like a meaningful life with someone and this one's kind of funny because I've only seen it a couple of times but you know when guys like pose on a car and they're like they like sit on the bumper with their arms folded like posing like it's an instant ick instant no from me like what are you trying to achieve especially as you know it's really funny I've seen so many times on social media

Starting point is 00:09:32 where they're like um almost like oh what's the word that I'm trying to find they're like revealing the truth where I saw this the other day actually there was a post on Instagram of this guy taking a photo of his feet stretched out in economy like by the um emergency exit door and he like he'd captioned the photo like do I look like someone who flies in economy and he was actually in economy but the way that he posed the photo made it sound like he was in business or something and I feel like so many people do that with their cars like it's not even a car but they'll just go and sit next to it because they think it makes them like it just raises their status or whatever it is so pictures of

Starting point is 00:10:20 them posing on the car and pictures of them holding starfish or any type of wildlife I know you think it looks cool I know you think holding starfish is an amazing thing I know you think it looks cool when you've been on holiday and you're in the ocean and there's starfish just floating around you're like oh my god I want to grab that because this is going to make a great Instagram photo but when you take starfish out the water they die like you damage them by picking them up and I'm not here for that the same when it's like people stroking wild dolphins or reaching out to sharks or any kind of like touching wildlife when it's in the wild or it's not like in that yeah in that example like I just it's a no from me because I feel like you don't actually give a fuck about the environment I feel like you're more

Starting point is 00:11:10 about how do I look on social media than what you're actually doing for the wildlife and nature etc so I'm not here for it and I know like when I went to Thailand back in oh my god when did I even go 2012 2012 yeah 2012 was when I like first went there I started my journey and then I lived there for the whole of 2013 um when I went I went to like the elephant sanctuary and I went to the tiger temple and I went to the zoo where you could feed the tigers and I mean I feel like the zoo's different but they used to keep like jaguars and was it a jaguar or leopard I forget which like leopards or tigers in these tiny little cages on the street and let tourists take photos with them and I don't agree with that at all I went to the tiger temple because I was very naive back then and hadn't fully done my research

Starting point is 00:12:06 I was just so obsessed with the idea of seeing these tigers and I still stand by my experience that they weren't drugged um but now looking back I'm like I don't think that's a good idea and I regret my decision and I wouldn't do that again but now like over a decade on I feel like there's so much more education around these things you just shouldn't be picking up that like you just shouldn't be picking up wildlife and I am not here for being with someone that thinks that that's okay then probably the biggest ick that I have is long fingernails like honestly men with long fingernails if you can like see the white tips of their fingernails they're too long it's a no from me absolutely not and if I can see that in photos but no instant in the bin like your profile your profile could be absolutely perfect you could be

Starting point is 00:13:01 everything I'm looking for if your fingers fingernails are a bit too long I'm sorry no it's it's I'm not even sorry it is completely a no from me I don't like it it makes me feel sick and then lastly when they have their Instagram in their bio like why I like I don't want to see Instagram it's not I feel like then people are just trying to grow their Instagram rather than caring about their dating that why would you want to showcase your social media profiles to someone that you have never met like they could be anyone and maybe this is just because obviously my Instagram profiles are for my job like I don't have private Instagram profiles mine are related to my business and are related to the work that I do and for me I wouldn't

Starting point is 00:13:55 put my Instagram profile in my dating profile because I wouldn't want anybody to jeopardize my career I suppose it's that like what if I went on a date with someone and either they didn't like me or what if I let someone down what if I decided I didn't want to see someone anymore and they turned out to be an absolute fucking psychopath and spread a load of hate about me on social media or made out that I was a terrible person or did anything to jeopardize my business so yeah maybe maybe that's just uh maybe that's just a personal thing okay so to end the episode I thought it'd be quite fun I have screenshotted some of my favorite shit profiles or they're not even shit profiles like I don't even know who these profiles belong to um but they are responses

Starting point is 00:14:41 to questions or like there are the responses to hinge prompts that I just thought were hilarious that I would share with you. So this one, how to pronounce my name, two syllables, boy and friend. Okay, okay, mate, let's calm ourselves down, shall we? I'm looking for a badass with a nice ass. Ew. I will know it's time to delete Hinge when I will find an independent vaccinated kinky partner to travel the world with. If you are not vaccinated and you don't know what BDSM means, please don't match. I will unmatch you straight away. Like, whoa, okay. I mean, like, I like the directness. I think that's good. Obviously you're not fucking around, but it seems a little bit aggressive. Then something that's non-negotiable for me is

Starting point is 00:15:31 being active, having a job and living a very healthy life. You need to look after yourself. You need to work out regularly and you need to have hot Bordeaux lingerie in your wardrobe. I don't even know what fucking hot bordell lingerie is i mean i've got some good underwear but i don't know what type of underwear that is maybe i should have had quick google um but i just feel like this is so i want to say misogynistic i'm not sure whether it falls into that category but when a guy is like you have to look after yourself you have to work out regularly this is the type of underwear you need to wear like no you're just gonna dominate my entire life like absolutely not you want somebody who is gonna come in say yes sir no sir

Starting point is 00:16:11 three bags full sir that's not for me it's probably not a lot of people either i'd fall for you if you eat my gherkins oh fuck now the first time i read this i just assumed it was like McDonald's you know when you like pick the gherkins out of the burgers now I've read gherkins and I'm like does he mean dick but then also gherkins does that mean you have two dicks I don't know maybe I'm reading too much into that but yes just what and then I'm weirdly attracted to someone original right define original I recently discovered that the numbers on a toaster aren't degrees of toastiness they're minutes well yeah like what of course they're the minutes they're like the minutes of how long you're going to toast it for but i suppose

Starting point is 00:17:05 you could also apply it to degrees of toastiness i don't know but weird my therapist would say i am a really good kisser i kind of think that's a joke but it's a bit of a red flag if it's not and then lastly the one thing i'd love to know about you is like love language what's your fight language like oh this was interesting because I'm like I didn't even know that you could have a fight language and actually since since this since I read this I have discovered that the love languages website I think it's just lovelanguages.com they have a conflict language so that you can work out how you best deal with conflict which I haven't done that quiz yet um but I'm going to at some point so I hope that this was just a fun light-hearted chatty waffly episode that got you through your

Starting point is 00:17:55 day maybe you listened while you were doing some cleaning or driving the car or whatever I would love to know what makes you swipe left on a dating app because I think it's interesting because for some things like some of these things you'll probably be like oh no I'd never swipe left on a cat like give me all the cats but then there's other things where I'd probably swipe right that maybe you wouldn't as well so go to datewithconfidencepodcast.com slash contribute to share with me what you would swipe left on. Share your ics. Ask me your questions. Next Thursday is our community episode.

Starting point is 00:18:31 So get that form submitted if you want to be featured in next week's ep. And as a reminder, don't forget to check out Loved Up and Level Up in Love via the show notes. Also, oh my god, I can't believe I forgot to do do this I was supposed to do this at the start of the episode but if you missed the secret announcement on the pod on Tuesday with the little the little secret episode announcement go and listen to that now because I'm doing something very very exciting on the 15th of April and I would love for you to be involved there are limited spaces it is completely free it is going to help you with your dating life so go back it is literally the episode that came out before this one called secret announcement or something along those lines so go listen to that

Starting point is 00:19:16 for very exciting announcement and I will see you in the next one thanks so much for listening to the date with confidence podcast I hope you've enjoyed this episode subscribe rate and review and share it with your single friends you

The Date with Confidence Podcast - Dating Apps: I'm Immediately Swiping Left If I See This

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