The Date with Confidence Podcast - He Wanted Me to Send Photos and Lied About His Age

Starting point is 00:00:00 Guess who's got a new dating story? It's me. I have got a new first date story for you because I've been looking at the stats, okay, I've been looking at the stats and some of these episodes, as you know, have been planned out. They were planned before I started the podcast. they were created specifically to support you to educate to give tips and advice but it turns out that the episodes that you are enjoying the most are my disastrous first date I don't know how to take that I don't know how to take it although having said that I know that when I listen to podcasts my favorite types of episodes are the general chit-chatty, what's going on in your life, what are you doing, that kind of stuff. So I get it, I get it, and I thought I would bring you a brand new dating story. the Date With Confidence podcast, a place to come for dating advice, support and stories that will either fill you with hope or relief that your dating experience wasn't as bad as it could have

Starting point is 00:01:09 been. With practical episodes that will provide you with easy to implement tips to help you feel confident AF on your next date, alongside lighthearted catch-ups where your host Rebecca, that's me by the way, shares her own experience dating after four years of the single life, you are guaranteed to end each episode feeling less alone in your dating struggles empowered to never settle again and confident that the best is yet to come and if it all falls to shit there's a special first season dedicated to breakups you are welcome my friend subscribe review and share with your single friends. So we're gonna call this guy Rob. We will call him Rob. Obviously that's not his name because I don't like using people's actual names here for many reasons, to protect their privacy, to protect myself. Just, I don't. So this one's Rob. We're gonna call him

Starting point is 00:02:02 Rob. So we matched on on hinge way back at the start of the year we matched on hinge I think we had one message or two messages between us and then I fell off the face of the earth and I think this must have been around March time so I think this was around the time that I lost my dog Jasper um if you don't know that story then I do actually talk about it on the confidence show the episode I can't remember the name of the episode but I'll link it in the show notes I talk about everything that happened there and the grief surrounding that it's it's not a light-hearted episode but if you want to know why I kind of stopped dating for a while it'll be in that episode so we matched in March I fell off the face of the earth didn't respond to him and then I

Starting point is 00:02:51 joined Bumble in September and matched with him on Bumble and I was like oh you look familiar and that was the first message I sent him and I don't know I think we actually did I think we matched around it was around the time of the near perfect date so if you haven't listened to the near perfect date episode then you can go back and listen to that but it was around that same week that I was going on that date that I'd matched with Rob And on the way home from the date with near perfect guy, I got chatting to Rob on Bumble. And I'd said to the first message I sent him was, you look familiar. Because he did. Because he looked familiar. And he was like, Oh, really? Like, where from? And I said, Oh, I think we matched on hinge before like months ago

Starting point is 00:03:45 and then we just carried on chatting now everything about this guy's profile screamed fuck boy to me everything about it the photos what was worded in there I got the impression that he was a bit of a fuck boy now as I was on my way home from the disastrous date I was very much in the mood for fuckboy energy I was like I am I don't want to take things seriously I am here for some fun to be not to be messed around but like I I just I'm not here for serious right now I'm here to kind of have a fuckboy experience this is fine I'm all over it I've just got to get over this disaster I need something to bring me back from the fact that this date was so disastrous so we started messaging and he was just like oh when

Starting point is 00:04:38 was your last date and I was like oh about two hours ago when was yours and he was just like oh how was it and I was like well I'm sat here hours ago, when was yours? And he was just like, oh, how was it? And I was like, well, I'm sat here chatting to you. So how do you think it was? And then, and then, and this was like a bit of an ick. But again, because my opinion was already, he's a fuck boy, I kind of expected it. He was just like, oh, was there a cheeky little kiss at the end? And first of all, first of all, I hate the phrase cheeky little kiss at the end and first of all first of all I hate the phrase cheeky I hate it when people say a cheeky little this or a cheeky little that it makes me feel a

Starting point is 00:05:12 little bit sick and it's a very it's a very popular phrase where I'm from I'm from Essex people say it all the time it is a I don't know if it's an Essex phrase but it's an irritating phrase I'm not here for it I don't like it but it's fine whatever he was like oh have a cheeky little kiss and I was just like no I don't kiss on a first date because I don't typically haven't before I mean where I'm at in my life right now probably would but typically I don't kiss on a first date and then we got chatting back and forth whatever it was kind of a bit flirty but I think it was flirty from my end because of the state of mind that I was in and yeah I'd placed this fuckboy image onto him so we chatted back and forth for a few weeks he like messaged me he was like oh do you want to chat on whatsapp this suits me fine whatever moved over to whatsapp and then

Starting point is 00:06:06 we're kind of chatting like I mean it was it wasn't exciting chat it was shit chat you know the kind of like back and forth how's your day been what you've been doing there were a few there were a few red flags before I went on the date okay and I know that they were red flags and I know that I still went on the date but as I have mentioned I didn't care I was not looking for Mr Right to be there so one of the things that he'd said he'd asked me oh I told him about why my date had been so bad oh and I'd said that the guy had made zero effort so if you listen to the episode you'll know he turned up in a hoodie trainers and tracksuit bottom shorts and I was annoyed by it because I was like I've spent the last couple of hours getting ready and he was just like oh you make an effort then that's good and you know when you hear

Starting point is 00:06:55 like little phrases like that it's like okay I'm not sure how I feel about that it's a little bit I don't know I don't know what the word is but you know what I mean and then he'd said something about one of my tattoos I think he'd commented on the fact that you can see my tattoos and he was like oh have you got any more and I was like oh yeah I've got seven they're just like little ones and he was like oh that's good that they're only little the more flesh the better or the more skin color the better or something like that which again I was like I mean I should have known really but you can kind of tell the sort of mindset that this guy was in and it made so much more sense when I met him as well this kind of I don't even know if it is

Starting point is 00:07:36 misogynistic but this kind of expectations that you have on a woman to look a certain way yeah that that's how it was So before we go on the date, we're like chatting backwards and forwards. And then he asked me to send him a photo of myself. So he sent me a photo, he was away on holiday. He sent me a photo of himself. It was a topless photo with two pieces of material in his hands. the caption was white or grey did I make the right choice and me being me and not standing for these unsolicited pictures I was like you've blatantly sent me that because you're topless you don't give a fuck about what my opinion is so I just wrote back and was like white or grey what I can't see what you've got in your hands. And he was like, oh sorry, I'm holding a white shirt and a grey shirt.

Starting point is 00:08:29 And I'm like, obviously knowing that's exactly what it is. I was like, oh, really? White. Or whatever I said, I can't even remember. But I was just like, it annoyed me that he was trying, like, I don't know. I don't understand the whole sending photos thing. I don't get why people send you photos before you've met and then I received several other selfies night out photos photos from his trip while he was away and I'm like I don't I don't fucking get it and then I'm like oh no actually maybe he's sending me photos because he wants me to send photos and he did ask me to send photos before we went out and I was just like no I don't send photos to people that I've not met

Starting point is 00:09:05 and he was just like oh I didn't mean a cheeky one I didn't mean anything cheeky and I was just like well it doesn't matter whether you meant that or not like I don't send photos to people that I don't know I don't want random people having photos of me on the camera roll I think it's fucking weird so that I mean I obviously didn't say that but that was that so that was a another red flag before I went on the date so anyways back and forth chatting for a couple of weeks back forth back forth back forth I thought I was gonna see him one evening didn't hear from him then he went away then I got sick so I couldn't see him and then eventually we'd said we'd see each other on a

Starting point is 00:09:46 Tuesday and then we're like back and forth in the chat and he was like oh when are we seeing each other again I was like Tuesday question mark because that's what we'd agreed and he was like oh can we do Wednesday instead so already I'm kind of like oh for fuck's sake like you were the one that picked the day that you wanted to go out and then I was like yeah that's fine and then on the day he was still I was like okay where are we gonna go I like it when a man decides where we're gonna go for a date I don't know whether it's just the ADHD in me but I yeah it's not even a man it's even with my friends I like it when somebody else makes a decision for me because I find decisions so overwhelming so I'd said to him like where are we gonna go and he was like well we could go to London or we could

Starting point is 00:10:30 stay local because he's like local to where I live and I was like I don't mind and he was like well and then we can't I think we just carried on chatting and then even when it came to the day I was just like what time we meet in and I was I was in a shitty mood on the day anyway, you know, you know, when you agree to something and you're just like, I really can't be arsed with this. But I'd made this commitment. I didn't want to cancel. So I was like, you know what, I'm going to go on this date. And he'd said about meeting at 6.30 because I think we'd said six and then he was like, oh, can we do 6.30 instead? So I'm like, fine. That's not a problem, whatever. whatever and then in the end I was just like you know we'll just stay local like let's stay local the weather's shit it'll be better than tracking

Starting point is 00:11:10 up to London so then he's like well we could go to this place or we could go to this place I'm like just just fucking decide make a decision for me tell me where you want to take me and I was like okay we'll go to this bar I've never been there we'll go here and I knew that I was gonna have a drink and I didn't want to drive so I was gonna get the train which isn't far like I was gonna get the train to local town and the train to the local town from where I am it they only run like every half an hour so it's like a 10 minute train ride but they only run every half an hour so I had to leave at a specific time so I got to the when I was on the train I was googling this bar that we'd agreed to go to and it was closed so I was like well I messaged him I was like well we're not going there and I didn't hear anything

Starting point is 00:12:01 from him on my journey and I'd said to him before we went, have you eaten anything? Like, do you want to go for dinner? And he was just like, no, drinks will be preferable because it can be really awkward to like go for food on a first date. And I kind of get some people think that I know, I know there's a lot of people that would probably agree but for me I like eating on a first date one because you can tell someone's table manners and you know straight away whether you're going to want to date them again a bit like with the near perfect guy like can you imagine if I hadn't been on a if we hadn't gone for food and I hadn't have noticed the nose picking and the sniffing and the rudeness to the waitress can you imagine if I'd waited till like three or four dates to

Starting point is 00:12:46 go for food anyway neither here nor there and I also like the fact that when you go for dinner there is a natural end so you go in you eat and then the meal finishes so you've got a get out clause almost whereas I feel like when you go for drinks I feel like it's a bit more open-ended and yeah I don't know I'm happy to go for dinner I'm not an awkward person I can make conversation with myself in a in an empty room so it's not an issue but I didn't want to do that so fine so then I tell him that this bar's closed and then I get to the pub and he's like oh I'm running late and I'm just like okay I'm normally the late one I have time blindness I'm normally late but I'm normally like a couple of I have time blindness. I'm normally late, but I'm normally

Starting point is 00:13:25 like a couple of minutes late and I will let people know well in advance. This guy decided on what time he wanted us to go. Like he chose the time to suit him and he was still 15 minutes late. That's a long time to be late, I think personally. So by this point, I'd already ordered myself a glass of wine and I was sat there I was like halfway through my wine so he shows up and apologizes for being late he's like sweating because it's quite warm which is fine like I that doesn't really bother me and he was just not what I expected I thought as I have mentioned he was gonna be a complete fuck boy really confident like bouldering arrogance very full of himself self-assured like that that energy and it was

Starting point is 00:14:15 not that at all he I mean he was a nice enough guy looks like his photos I think some of his photos were a bit were like a few years older like as in what had been taken a few years previously because he did look older in real life um but he was like fine looked like his photos nice enough he came and sat his chair next to me which I kind of find a bit weird like even I mean I kind of see it from his point of view because he didn't want to sit opposite me because he felt like it was a job interview so he came and sat next to me but I prefer to sit opposite someone even when I go for dinner with my friends I like people to be opposite me because I can feel like I can communicate with them better I don't really like having someone sat next to me because I find it I don't know I find it weird anyway he sat down

Starting point is 00:15:11 and then we started chatting and he was very upfront like pretty pretty quickly he was just like oh I like need to tell you something and I was like okay what he was like my age on my dating profile was wrong and I've seen this before where someone has put in the wrong age and you can't change your age on the dating app so they'll like put in the wrong age and then they'll comment in their profile oh by the way this is how old I am the dating profile messed up but he said to me that he had lied about his age and I was like okay and I think his age had been like 35 or 36 in like on the dating app on Bumble and Hinge and it turned out he was 40 so he turned 40 this year and I was just like oh okay now that's that's not a massive issue to me

Starting point is 00:16:07 like I'm 32 I'm pretty sure I have my filter set between like 28 and 42 so I'm pretty flexible in the age of the people that I date but also I like to make my own choices when it comes to who I'm dating so I would rather have been given the choice to date a 40 year old than it be sprung on me when I'm on the date. And the worst bit about this, honestly, everyone that I've told this story to, I've been talking to my friends about this guy, and every single one of them are like what on earth are you doing why did you go on a date in the first place for a start and why are you still talking to him I'm not actually talking to him anymore but we'll get to that in a moment the reason that he put his age

Starting point is 00:16:55 down as 30 something on the apps is because he didn't want to match with women his own age because if he wants to have children it can be harder for older women to have children therefore he wants to match with younger women but if he puts his real age on the apps then younger women won't match with him and even as i'm saying it now i can hear it i can hear how horrendous that is because you're essentially lying too oh it's just it's just bad like I'm all about honesty I think honesty is the best policy some of the conversations I've had with people during dating have been like uncomfortable uncomfortable or like intense or I don't know but I still like honesty is the best policy in my eyes and if it had been an accident that he'd put his age down as that fine but the fact that he purposefully did it

Starting point is 00:17:54 in order to attract someone like under false pretenses right like it's bad I know it's bad so me being the understanding, compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, I don't know what the word is. Like, I am the type of person that will give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'm like, okay, fine. At least you've been honest now. Great. And again, in my head, I already know that nothing's going to happen with this guy because I think he's a fuck boy. And I think maybe he's just someone that I might hook up with and then we meet and I know that that's not gonna be the case like in my head I know that he's not gonna be someone that I date ongoing or like I get into a relationship with so the lying I'm not overly bothered about it like it's shit and I think it's shit for other people

Starting point is 00:18:42 but it's not the end of the world to me so we carry on chatting we talk about like travel because he's about to go traveling we talk about lots of different things I talk about the podcast at this point I'd had a comment on my social media about the fact that women shouldn't be sleeping with lots of guys essentially so I'm talking about that and laughing about that he doesn't really say a lot about it but I kind of get the impression that he's also on that same wavelength of women shouldn't sleep around I don't know and then he does a couple of things that might have bothered me if it was someone that I genuinely liked but one of the things I was like I talk with my hands all

Starting point is 00:19:25 the time the way that I talk I use my hands all the time I'm quite expressive and then he started taking the piss out of it and like mimicking my hand gestures and this is the kind of banter that I experienced when I was younger like a decade ago this was kind of like not like even longer than a decade even at school like this is the kind of like school boy young boy kind of banter that I'm not really about anymore I just laughed it off and then I said something about 2012 was it 2012 something like that oh yeah I must have been when I was talking about traveling so I said 2012 and he was like what did you say and I was like 2012 and he like, I think there's a T in the middle of that word. So again, like taking the piss out of the way that I was speaking,

Starting point is 00:20:12 bearing in mind, he's also from Essex. So his accent's the same as mine, whatever. But little things like that, it was almost like picking at things. and I don't know whether it was to try and have banter or be funny or whether it's more of a I mean it's probably just a case of that's how you were raised that's what you've grown up around he's like eight years older than me so I also feel like people my age probably wouldn't behave in that way anymore I don't know there probably still are are people like that but he was very much like an Essex lad a 40 year old Essex lad like he was stereotypical Essex guy mannerisms the way that he spoke the humor everything screamed Essex guy to me which is not is not really for me I'm gonna say this aren't I and I'm gonna end up meeting an Essex lad that's gonna become my husband but Essex boys don't do it for me the ones that I've dated

Starting point is 00:21:11 have been pricks and I I just don't I'm just nah not not for me but it was fine whatever we carried on chatting and I'm very much in the mindset of like, I'm out now. I'm still have this open mind. I'm not judging on the date. This is all like very reflective after I've kind of come back from the date and had conversations with people. So I'm still open-minded, still open to this date's gonna be good.

Starting point is 00:21:38 Like there might be some chemistry. We're probably gonna have a laugh. It's gonna be fun. He buys me another drink. We carry on chatting. And then he's like oh do you want do you want another drink and I was like no I need to eat something and he was like oh did you want to go to go for food because when he'd messaged before and said like drinks would be

Starting point is 00:21:56 preferable he was like maybe we can get something afterwards and I was just like well do you and he was like oh I don't know he was like I'll go to the toilet and we can decide when I come back so I went to the toilet as well. And then I came back and I was like, look, I'm hungry. I'm going to go for dinner. If you want to come with me, come with me. If you don't, that's not a problem. And he was just like, oh, what? You'd go out for food by yourself? And I was like, yeah. He went, what? You mean you'd go and sit in a restaurant on your own? I was like, yeah. Yeah, I would. I'm hungry. I do it all the time what you mean you'd go and sit in a restaurant on your own I was like yeah yeah I would I'm hungry I do it all the time like I normally go to restaurants by myself um and he seemed a bit surprised by that almost like that was a weird thing to do or would be an

Starting point is 00:22:37 uncomfortable thing to do I am so used to going out on my own now and I love it that it genuinely doesn't bother me but if going out on like a solo date or going and doing something on your own like going for dinner is something that you struggle with is something that you have anxiety around then I actually recorded an episode about how to overcome solo date anxiety I recorded that and I put that on my other podcast the confidence show and I will link to that in the comments so if you do want to start going out more on your own if you don't want to rely on someone else to take you on a date if you want to feel confident being by yourself in situations like eating at restaurants going to cinemas etc then do go and listen to that episode

Starting point is 00:23:21 because there are valuable tips in there that will help you feel confident eating alone so he decided to come for dinner with me and then we so we left the pub started walking he was like oh where we going and i was like well we're gonna go to preso because i go to this one all the time it's one of my favorites i like it i know the food's good and he was like oh okay and i was like well is there somewhere else you'd rather go and he was like no no and I was like well we can either do that or we can go to Giggling Squid because that's Thai food and he was like no and he again like he didn't really make a decision I was like I want Prezzo like it's just what I want that's where we're gonna go so we walked down to Prezzo went and sat in one of the booths and again like carried on chatting I just switched to soft drinks

Starting point is 00:24:06 then because I'd had two glasses of wine and I hadn't really been drinking a lot at this point I'd kind of been sober for a while so I had my two glasses of wine and then I was like I felt a little bit pissed to be honest so I switched to soft drinks then and we had some food and I get like we were chatting it was fine there were a few little things that kind of I that that kind of bothered me it was more things like he'd put himself down and I don't like it when people put themselves down I find it really unattractive but he'd make little comments about himself and I know like as women we're pretty guilty of doing that like we we tend to put ourselves down and sometimes I think we subconsciously do it to try and get positive affirmation back to us or like validation back to us um but I don't I don't like it I don't

Starting point is 00:24:57 really find it attractive at all so little things like that and then just the same like kind of taking the piss out of a few things or whatever but But it was, it was fine. We ate food and then the bill came and he like went to pay and I was like, oh, do you want to split it? And he was like, no, it was like, you can just get me a drink if you want. So I was like, okay, fine, we'll do that. So he got dinner. Then we went back to the pub and I bought him a drink and then we sat chatting for a long like a bit longer and it was one of those in my mind I was out I'd made the effort to get dressed up I was out I was like I wasn't not enjoying his company but it was fine like it was it was flowing it was better than the disastrous date that I'd had before it was a fine date like

Starting point is 00:25:43 we were chatting I felt good about myself we went for another drink it wasn't a case of we went for drinks then we went for dinner then we went for more drinks because it was that connection and I wanted to stay with him and I was really enjoying talking to him and I was like I don't want the night to end it wasn't really that it was just we were out it was fine it it was what it was so then the pub kind of closed and I was like right I'm gonna go I was like I'm gonna get a get an uber because I didn't really want to have to get the bus home so I was like I'm gonna get an uber went out of the pub booked my uber and it was cold so I was like shivering but then he kind of like came up and like put his arm around me and started rubbing my back and you know when your body just like instantly freezes I was like I didn't really

Starting point is 00:26:27 like it I didn't like it and I just kind of just stood there and was like I don't know how to respond to this because there'd been no flirtiness they'd been well on my part I didn't think there was there'd been no flirtiness there'd been no indication there'd been no touch like I'm a very tactile person and if I am connecting with someone I will touch their arm or I'll like turn to look at like turn to look at them in the eyes or if we're walking along I'll like touch their arm or like touch their hand or you'll kind of you'll know from the way that I am physically that I'm open to that as to receive that as well and there'd been no indication of that so this felt a little bit like uncomfortable but then the Uber came and I bearing in mind I'd already said to him before we went on the date that I don't kiss on a first

Starting point is 00:27:17 date so when the Uber came I like went to hug him and I don't know whether this is just me imagining it but it felt like he was about to go in for a kiss, and I just turned away and like got straight in the cab, and that bothered me because again, there'd been no inclination that that was going to happen, secondly I'd already said that I don't kiss on a first date, I'd already expressed my boundaries and said this is not something that I do on a first date, and he was almost like willing to overstep them so that was an issue so then he messages me when he gets home says thank you for a nice evening whatever and the next day I wake up and he says does this mean I can request a photo now because obviously I told him that I don't send photos to

Starting point is 00:28:00 people that I don't meet that I've never met and I was like yeah you can request all you like but you're not gonna get one and he was just like I didn't mean a cheeky one again with a fucking cheeky word and I was just like it doesn't matter like I still I'm not sending you photos and he was like oh well at least I know that you're real now and he'd also seen my whatsapp status as well so I'm like you know I'm fucking real because you've seen my photos in there and then he was just like oh I'm curious though like when the last time you was just like when was the last time you sent a photo and I was like four years ago to my ex or it was like who I don't know if he said like who was it or when was it and I was like

Starting point is 00:28:39 to my ex four years ago because I'm also like I don't send random photos to people it's not my thing I mean it might be my thing it might be my thing is it my thing maybe I just haven't found the person that I want to send photos to yet but it's not it's not really my thing at the moment like I I think I don't know I think sending photos is hot like don't get me wrong me and my ex did long distance for a lot we used to send photos videos it was great there's something really hot about it but I am not gonna just send a random photo to a fucking stranger especially one that's lied to me about his age so we carried on kind of like chatting back and forth a bit and then I went to Valencia and by this point I'd already started talking to Ted who you can hear about Ted's story in the I Know What I Deserve Now episode

Starting point is 00:29:33 I had started talking to him so and I was already like into Ted so I'd kind of I'd met Rob I was like and I'd been talking to my friends about him and I was like yeah I'm probably not gonna see him again I know we'd agreed to a second date but then I was going to Valencia and I just knew that I wasn't gonna see him he wasn't really for me but it was it was kind of nice just having this makes me sound like an arsehole it was kind of nice just having someone there that I knew I could communicate with that reminded me there were people that were interested in me and I mean again it was like shit chat back and forth like it was nothing nothing that there was no like chemistry there was no real connection

Starting point is 00:30:16 and I feel like he was probably the same to be perfectly honest he probably just liked the fact that there was someone messaging him as well I don't for a second think that he was fully into me so we go to Valencia and then when I'm there he's like messages things like I what like I told him what the weather was like and he's like oh have you got your bikini on then icky things like that and I had this conversation with another friend if Ted had asked me about a bikini or wearing a bikini I had have fully gone into it and like talked about that and probably been a bit teasing and I don't know like it would have been fine for him to ask me because I already fancied this guy so it was fine but it was not okay for Rob to talk about talk to me about being in a bikini I was really busy while I was in Valencia so we just I didn't really respond

Starting point is 00:31:05 I think he messaged me again on the Friday and I didn't reply to him and then on the Wednesday messaged me and was like have you have you been podcasting or done much dating since you've been back and I was like well I got back last night so no I haven't done either but it's a lot of the time he'd always ask me about like what dates I had lined up and who I was going on a date with and was I gonna kiss this day and I just I don't I just didn't get it like I don't understand why are you so interested in who I'm going on dates with and whether I'm kissing someone else I just think it's inappropriate so then I think he replied to me but I haven't replied to him since and that's it I think it's been a few weeks now since we spoke but I just it wasn't like a bad date as such but there were just a few red flags

Starting point is 00:31:59 and icks and I mean being lied to is not great is it and then yeah turned out not to be the fuck boy that I kind of imagined I think he was a bit like actually a bit insecure I don't insecure sounds really harsh but he just wasn't as confident as I thought he was gonna be um so yeah so that was that and then I saw like the most perfect meme because I thought I've kind of ghosted him because I just haven't replied I haven't read his messages I haven't replied so it is kind of ghosting but also I know that he's going away so he's actually not going to give a shit because he's about to go on holiday and he's just going to have the best single time ever maybe who knows um and then I just saw the perfect meme.

Starting point is 00:32:46 And I think that this is applicable. We know my feelings on ghosting. I don't think that ghosting is necessarily the right way to go. But I do think it's okay if you let things fizzle out when you know that they're not going to go anywhere. So I saw this meme with the caption, it's not always ghosting. So the man writes, so you ghosted me, question mark. And the girl responds, no, I didn't.

Starting point is 00:33:11 Your conversation skills were below par and I carried the conversation all the time. You are nonchalant, inexpressive, and your idea of taking an interest in me was a constant, how was your day? Having a conversation with you was not mentally stimulating. I didn't ghost you, I just stopped entertaining mediocrity and I was like that was fucking brilliant because that essentially sums up that just sums up this experience with Rob like it was mediocre and that's not that's not saying that he's a terrible person or he's a shit guy or any of that like he's fine and he will be great for someone he was not my person I need someone who is engaging who wants to know about me who takes an interest in me who is ambitious and sends like paragraphs of text and is yeah just is more engaging and mentally stimulating

Starting point is 00:34:09 I like to have mentally stimulating conversations and also have that kind of um like deep connection and also the chemistry and none of that was there and I imagine he is probably saying the exact same stuff about me like I am pretty sure that he's on this same wavelength I can't imagine that he would think that I don't know I don't know who knows I mean I think I'm great but I also like he must understand as well that it wasn't an incredible experience um so yeah so that is the rob situation i feel worried that i've missed some bits out because this all happened like a month ago now and i've had these conversations with so many people um like with my with my friends and i think we've even talked about it

Starting point is 00:35:00 in a couple of the other interviews that i've yet to edit and upload yet um so I'm worried that I've missed some stuff out and I know I feel like I've got friends who will listen to the pod and then they message me and they're like you didn't mention this bit you forgot to say this and I'm like oh damn it but I think that's I think that's all you need to know it was fine it was what it was it wasn't a disaster it was an average date with an average guy so yeah as I said I've mentioned some other episodes that you might want to listen to off the back of this particularly the how to overcome solo date anxiety I really want to encourage you to listen to that because I think it's so empowering to be able to go out and do things on your own whether you're single or whether you're in a relationship and there's a lot in there that I think will benefit you so go

Starting point is 00:35:50 listen to that over on the confidence show which is my other podcast if you want to contribute your own dating stories then please do get in touch you can go to datewithconfidencepodcast.com slash contribute share your ics share your nightmares share your wonderful love stories share anything you want with me ask me questions ask me for advice and I will be I would just love you to be involved in the podcast that is it for this episode and I will see you in the next one thanks so much for listening to the date with confidence podcast I hope you've enjoyed this episode subscribe rate and review and share it with your single friends Thank you.

The Date with Confidence Podcast - He Wanted Me to Send Photos and Lied About His Age

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