The Date with Confidence Podcast - How to Manifest 'The One': Do This Before Dating

Starting point is 00:00:00 I know my person is out there for me. I know that I deserve an incredible relationship. I know that I'm going to find that person. So everything along the way is just a fun part of the journey because the destination is ultimately and inevitably going to happen. Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when, doesn't matter who with, you know for certain that that destination is going to happen and that destination is going to be incredible because you've done these manifestation practices initially to give you the clarity of what you actually want. And then one day you're just going to wake up in bed and he's going to be or she are going to be lying there next to you. And you'll be like, oh, my fucking God, I did it.

Starting point is 00:00:37 I manifested the one. Welcome to the Date With Confidence podcast, a place to come for dating advice, support and stories that will either fill you with hope or relief that your dating experience wasn't as bad as it could have been. With practical episodes that will provide you with easy to implement tips to help you feel confident AF on your next date, alongside lighthearted catch ups where your host Rebecca, that's me by the way, shares her own experience dating after four years of the single life. You are guaranteed to end each episode feeling less alone in your dating struggles, empowered to never settle again and confident that the best is yet to come. And if it all falls to shit there's a special first season dedicated to breakups. You are welcome my

Starting point is 00:01:20 friend. Subscribe, review and share with your single friends. Hello and welcome back to the Date With Confidence podcast. We have got such an interesting episode today. This is something that I really wanted to talk about because manifestation is this huge thing, right? This whole idea of manifesting your dream life, manifesting more money, manifesting love and I wanted to share with you the things that I have actively been doing since I started dating seriously last year because I'd been on a few dates on and off and then last year I kind of got to this point where I was like I want to do this intentionally now. Yes I want to date, I want to have fun, I want to meet a lot of different people, but I also want to be intentional with the type of people that I'm

Starting point is 00:02:11 meeting, with the people that I'm saying yes to for second dates, for third dates, and I want to make sure that I'm going into dating with this energy of believing that I am worthy and deserving of the relationship that I really desire but in order to build that belief I also need to know what it is that I exactly want so there was a lot of work to do around clarity around what I really desired what I wanted what I didn't want and I thought I would just share with you all the things that I did before I started dating and the things that I have done as I've been moving through the dating process because some of these practices I did whilst I was already dating other people or whilst I was actively dating a lot and

Starting point is 00:02:57 I think it's important to bring yourself back to these practices and does it work? Who the fuck knows? It might work, it might not. I'm still single at the moment and I'm still enjoying my dating life. Actually what I will say for that is these practices have helped me enjoy dating more, they've helped me see it as this fun path that I'm on to find the one. I've definitely been enjoying dating much more much more when I do these activities and whether they work or not I don't think that's necessarily relevant I think what the practices that I'm going to share with you do do is it brings you into a positive energy it makes you feel more abundant it makes you feel more open to love it helps you build that belief that love is possible for you and it helps conjure up

Starting point is 00:03:47 those feelings of excitement around dating. So instead of going into dating with a negative mindset, it's almost like you go into it with, oh my god, when am I going to meet this guy? I'm so excited to meet my person. Is it going to be this one? Is it going to be the next one and you have that energy of curiosity and anticipation because you are also building that certainty that love is going to happen for you and that you are going to find the one and that's a really key mindset shift to make I think instead of going into dating with all men are trash which I have talked about before we've talked about this in the mindset shifts episode I'll link that in the show notes so you can go back and listen to

Starting point is 00:04:29 that it's quite a short episode but it's a really really good one to listen to about mindset shifts you need to make when dating we have talked about it there instead of going into dating with this mindset of all men are trash I'm never going to find the one should I just settle for this one even though he's got some red flags? Are my standards too high? We get rid of all that when you do this manifestation work because you go into dating with, I know my person is out there for me, I know that I deserve an incredible relationship, I know that I'm going to find that person. So everything along the way is just a fun part of the journey because the destination is ultimately and inevitably going

Starting point is 00:05:05 to happen doesn't matter where doesn't matter when doesn't matter who with you know for certain that that destination is going to happen and that destination is going to be incredible because you've done these manifestation practices initially to give you the clarity of what you actually want and then one day you're just gonna wake up in bed and he's going to be, or she, are going to be lying there next to you. And you'll be like, oh my fucking God, I did it. I manifested the one. So I have broken down these exercises into three sections because I have this concept called the 1990 mindset concept. And one of the core principles of that is that there are three layers of confidence you need to create in order to get everything that you deserve in life and I really like those three layers so I now weave it into everything that I do. The three

Starting point is 00:05:54 layers are think confident, act confident and feel confident. Now in this scenario we're obviously not talking about confidence but I have broken down the activities that you can do into the think act and feel layer because I think working across all three of those layers is super powerful so think is obviously the mindset shifts the narrative that you need to change in your mind the default thoughts that you've got on repeat act is the way that you act the way that you behave it's practical things like your standards and then feel is really conjuring up those feelings of i've already got the one i've already got him he's already there they are already my person i have this now and if you are into the law of attraction the whole belief around like attracts like the more that you feel those feelings in your body now the quicker you're going to be able to manifest that person into your life but we're not going to

Starting point is 00:06:50 go too woo in this i know some people love the woo some people are like that's a load of bollocks this episode is very much for anyone and everyone whether you are all woo no woo whatever because there are practical exercises in here that just help you gain that clarity around what you actually want. And if you don't have clarity around what you want and who you're looking for, you're not going to get the relationship of your dreams. So let's first look at the think exercises. So first of all, you really need to focus on believing that it's possible. Bel believing that it's possible to find the one believing that your dream relationship exists which actually in the next episode i've

Starting point is 00:07:33 got a episode coming up later on this week about how to believe that your dream relationship is possible so stay tuned for that because that's really going to help you. But really believing that what you want is available to you and you can have it. Because what you think you believe and what you believe becomes your reality. So you need to believe without a shadow of a doubt that everything you desire can come your way. And as I said, listen to the next episode for how to build that belief in yourself. Then you also need to be open to it happening in an abundance of ways. So this is probably the hardest thing for most of us, or for a lot of us, maybe not most of us, for a lot of us. We want this thing, this thing being our person. We want this thing to thing being our person we want this thing to happen and because we are so

Starting point is 00:08:29 eager for that to happen I don't like using the word desperate some sometimes we can feel desperate I don't like using that word I think we're just eager and excited for it to happen we control or we try to control the way that it's going to happen. So we could, for example, match with someone on a dating app, read their bio, be like, oh my god, he's everything. And sorry, I'm just going to stop myself there. I keep saying he, if you are into same sex relationships, like if you are not straight, then please forgive me for saying he please just switch out whatever pronouns you prefer I will try my hardest to say them just to make it a bit more inclusive but please forgive me if I do repeatedly say he I'm straight I'm looking for

Starting point is 00:09:16 he that's why it keeps coming out and but I don't want to exclude anyone from this conversation so forgive me in advance if I if I do say that um so let's say you match with someone on a dating app you see their profile you go oh my god they are everything on my list the looks the way that they write the personality the jokes the hue anything you see them on the app and you think that is my person and then you start communicating and because in your mind you've already decided this is your person you're not open to any other possibilities because you're so honed in on trying to control it being this one person that you've matched with online now we don't all do that we don't all do it all the time but i'm pretty sure you know exactly

Starting point is 00:10:04 what i'm talking about because i've done it plenty of times my friends all the time but I'm pretty sure you know exactly what I'm talking about because I've done it plenty of times my friends have done it I'm pretty sure you understand what I'm saying instead of honing all your energy and attention and trying to control that situation and making them be the one yes get excited about them but also keep yourself open to all the other possibilities that that person could come into your life. So think about people that you meet when you go to a coffee shop, think about people that are in the queue, think about people that you walk past on the street, think about people that you work, people you used to know. Don't try and control meeting these people but open to meeting the one in the most random ways and remind yourself that the universe is infinitely more creative than we are. So there are an abundance of ways this person could come into

Starting point is 00:10:57 your life. Don't close yourself off and limit yourself to thinking they can only come from dating apps, for example. I know that's the most popular way to date at the moment, but someone could literally walk into your life in so many different ways. Then it's really important to trust that it's going to happen for you. And this is also a very difficult thing to do, especially if, like me, you have been through a lot of shit with your past relationships. If you have had some toxic or unhealthy or traumatic relationships or breakups in the past, it can be very difficult to trust that your future can be different. you have to make a decision you have to decide to trust even if there's doubt there even if you are like i don't know how i'm gonna trust even if you are worried and concerned and you've still got these past experiences playing on your mind

Starting point is 00:11:58 you have to make the decision to trust that it's going to happen for you. And you can do this by repeatedly telling yourself, I am choosing to trust I can have the relationship of my dreams. Affirmations are such a fantastic way to help you shift your mindset. But a lot of affirmations start with the phrase, I am, or I trust. If you say to yourself, I trust the one is out there for me, that can feel really hard when you don't yet believe it. So I always say to my clients, put the phrase, I choose to, at the start of your affirmation, to help you believe it quicker. So in this example, it would be, I choose to trust the one is out there for me and that will just help you remove some of the resistance around building that belief that you can trust that it will happen. And then for the think, the

Starting point is 00:12:52 last exercise in the think section, you want to get super duper clear on what you want. So sit down with your journal and ask yourself, what do I want? What has worked for me before? What did I love about previous relationships? What did I not like about previous relationships? What am I no longer available for? What behaviours do I want to let go of? What toxic traits do I not want in a future partner? What really hurt me in the past? What made me feel loved in the past? What type of relationship do I want? Write yourself a really clear vision of the relationship that you want and then when you do meet someone, either before you go on a first date or when you're a few dates in and you're making up your mind, you can refer back to this vision and you can remind yourself of the things that

Starting point is 00:13:46 you are looking for in a person now that's not to say that if they don't immediately match this vision you sack them off and you go nah throw you away you're not you're not mr perfect on my vision but you want to make sure that you know that you that you have this clarity around what you're looking for so that when you do meet someone if they are so far removed from what you're actually looking for you can walk away because you know that deep in your soul deep in your heart they're not what you're looking for yet you may meet someone who matches some of what you're looking for but then has qualities that you couldn't have even thought of them having so you still need to have that open mind and be available for some fluidity in certain aspects but for the most part get really super duper clear on that

Starting point is 00:14:38 vision so that you no longer settle or find yourself back in a relationship just like your past ones were. Your past relationships didn't work for a reason. So you don't want to carry that baggage into the future or you don't want to make a carbon copy of a previous relationship and find yourself back in the same patterns and habits. Okay, let's move on to the ACT exercises. These ones are quite fun. These are, I really enjoy these. they're practical exercises that you can do to help you with manifesting the one and these are things that I have done at the start of my dating throughout my dating journey and then when I've met someone and I'm making my mind up about them

Starting point is 00:15:22 I've also implemented some of these things. So the first one being write yourself a wish list. I did this. I have actually done this multiple, multiple times. I remember the first time I did it, I think I was 18 or 19 and I wrote down a wish list of exactly what I wanted. And that person, believe it or not, came into my life. He broke my heart, so that wasn't amazing, but the exact person that I wanted walked into my life, and what this did, writing this list, what this, what writing this list helped me do was bring that person into my life for a start. But also, when I would then went to write the list again, I was able to fine tune it and get more specific on what I wanted. So yes, good job, fit, tall, dark and handsome. They were still on my wish list. But there were things that were more important to me as well like loyal caring looks after me

Starting point is 00:16:28 makes me feel safe and secure doesn't cheat on me all those kind of things so writing your wish list can be can help you get even more specific about about the actual attributes you want someone to have and what I do is write a standards wish list, which is my complete non-negotiables. You cannot deviate from these things. If you don't have these things, it is a deal breaker. And then I have my expectations list, which is my, I would really like this person to have these things, but if they don't, I am available to be fluid on that. And I am open to them not needing to have those things. I talk about this in so much more depth inside the confidence course, which is my course

Starting point is 00:17:12 for helping you create unwavering self-confidence so that you can get everything that you deserve in life. And in module six, we have a whole module about setting standards for your life. So we talk about boundaries to set and then each area of your life, there are four areas of your life and each of those is broken down into its own individual lesson. So one of those lessons is about raising your relationship standards. We talk about writing this list in a lot more detail and obviously share examples of my own list, what I include, there are questions in there to ask yourself to ensure that you're not

Starting point is 00:17:46 going into a negative relationship again or to ensure that you're not settling. So if you want to learn more about the confidence course then do just go to the show notes where you will find the link because I do feel like that lesson is so so powerful either before you start dating, when you're dating and even when you're in a relationship, if you want to improve your relationship, there is so much in there to help you transform things. And as I said, to just help you raise your standards so that you're not settling for less than you deserve. Another exercise that is really powerful is writing a letter. I love exercises like this. This is a great journaling exercise to do. So write a letter

Starting point is 00:18:26 to your future husband. I did this back in September and you start it off, dear future husband, and you just let the words flow out. So my journal's upstairs and I don't really want to read it out because it's very obviously personal to me, but the things that I would include in that, like for example are thank you for always taking care of me, I love how loyal you are, I love how safe and secure you make me feel, the sex is the best of my life, I find you so attractive, I love that you're always on my team, I really appreciate the things that you do for me and it's you're writing in the present tense as if you've already got that husband this helps with manifestation in general when you write as if you're already living in that

Starting point is 00:19:13 moment and then one day you'll be able to look back and you'll be able to read that letter and go oh my god I actually have them and I've just remembered that I've just said dear future husband obviously you can change that to dear future wife dear future person whatever you prefer to use but I think this is such a fun expansive exercise and as I said I did this a few months ago I was having a day where I was like I need to double down on self-care however I'm feeling I'm feeling a bit burnt out I need a date with myself I need to do something nice for myself, so I soaked in the bath, I put on moisturiser, I had candles and music playing and then I just got this intuitive nudge to write a letter to my future husband. So I sat there and wrote, I think I set a timer for like 10 minutes maybe and I just sat and wrote whatever came out and

Starting point is 00:19:59 it just felt really nice because it got me in that excited energy of this is going to be my reality one day. So whether it works or not to manifest the one, it's going to make you feel good. Anything that makes you feel good cannot be a bad thing, can it? Then the next exercise is create a vision board. Now I have a vision board, a general vision board for every part of my life and I put all the different areas on there so I have relationship health and wellness career and finance I have things like travel self-care friendship relationships as an overall money all that kind of stuff and I'll actually leave a link in the show notes to a video that I have got on my other YouTube channel where I talk about five different

Starting point is 00:20:45 styles of vision board that you can create because that's a really helpful vision that's a really helpful video if you don't just want to cut pictures out of a magazine or you're not really sure how to make a vision board or you don't know what style would suit you but I think creating a visual representation of the relationship that you want and of the person that you want to manifest helps to bring that that vision into your reality because then every day you can take a look at this um vision board and a bit like when you write your standards list or when you get clear when you write down the vision of what you want when you have that visual representation then whenever you are matching with people on dating apps you're being intentional with the people

Starting point is 00:21:29 that you're matching because you have that reminder saying this is the person that I'm looking for so instead of going on a dating app and just swiping someone because you're concerned that you might miss the one you can actively and intentionally look for somebody that matches the vision that you already have. It's also helpful to view this vision when you are going on those first dates. So if you are feeling a bit ambiguous about them, or if there are a few things that you're maybe questioning about those first dates, refer back to your vision board look at it go do I really see this person as the person in my vision if the answer's no then you can kindly cancel the second date or you can just message them and say do you know what I don't think we're compatible and if you need help with doing that there is

Starting point is 00:22:17 also an episode that I've recorded previously on how to cancel the date with a nice one again I'll leave that in the show notes for you. When it comes to the act exercises as well, this is very much a practical, as you are dating, not before you're dating, as you are dating thing to do. And that is stop settling. The end. Like stop settling at all. So when red flags appear, don't accept them. Don't try to justify them. Don't go into a Facebook group and ask a hundred other women what they think. Just see it, see it as a red flag. Tell yourself it is a red flag and choose to walk away. You don't need to settle for someone anymore. You get to have the relationship that you desire. You are worthy and deserving of the relationship you desire.

Starting point is 00:23:13 And this is a hard one to do. If you've been on a few dates with someone and you feel like there's chemistry and you're enjoying your company with them, this is also especially worse if you've been on a string of bad dates and then you meet someone that you have a connection with but they have red flags. Now I'm not talking about things like little things that are kind of minor, I'm talking about a big screaming red flags that you want to ignore or you want to justify just because you finally got a connection with someone. If you settle for someone who does not make you feel how you want to feel, for someone who does not treat you the way that you deserve to be treated, if you accept those red flags, then you're, in my opinion, saying to the universe, I'm okay with this.

Starting point is 00:24:07 I'm okay with being treated this way. I'm okay with being with a person that's like this. I'll accept that. I'll settle. And then they won't bring you anyone better because you're accepting and you're allowing that behaviour to happen to you. Or you're allowing that person to be in your life that could present behavior that is negative and not going to enhance your life so just stop settling and i know it's easy to say i know it can feel really hard what you want to do to make the stop settling feel easier is to increase your self-confidence. Continually work on becoming more confident in yourself, on becoming more self-assured and on improving your self-worth. Because when you are confident, when you value yourself and when you believe that what you want is possible,

Starting point is 00:24:57 you will naturally refuse to settle. It won't be something that you have to ask yourself, it won't be something that you go back and forth on, it won't be a difficult decision to make, you will naturally refuse to settle and you will do that with confidence, without guilt, without worrying that you're letting someone go who could maybe be the one, you'll know when you've met the one and it won't be someone that you have to settle for. Still within the act section, put yourself out there. You have to put yourself into environments where you have the potential to meet the one. So this means socialising with friends, going to networking events, going to dating events, being on dating apps, being open to having a conversation with the person that stood behind you in the queue, being open to saying hello to someone on the train, being open to having a chat with the person that stood behind you in the queue, being open to saying hello to someone on the train, being open to having a chat with someone

Starting point is 00:25:48 at the gym. You have to put yourself into environments where you are more likely to meet someone that could become your future partner. If all you do is stay at home and off the dating apps, don't socialise,ize don't meet anyone don't talk to anyone new you're not going to find your person you have to be active and whilst I think a lot of people hear the word manifestation and think oh I'll just dream up what I want and then it will just land in my lap and to a certain extent I believe that but at the same time you have to do some of the doing and in that case it is putting yourself out there and although it feels scary and uncomfortable and you might feel quite nervous about it which is totally understandable

Starting point is 00:26:38 in the end the more you do it the more confident you'll feel because confidence comes from taking action. And the closer you will get to manifesting the one, which will make it so much worth it in the end. It will make the fear worth it in the end. And if you are scared, if you are struggling with fear, if you do feel like fear is holding you back from meeting the one, in the confidence course, we have an entire lesson on the 11 strategies that I use to help me overcome fear and this is fear that stopped me from leaving the house this is fear that helped me go from being too afraid to leave the house to traveling the world solo starting online businesses getting on public transport falling in love dating after extended periods of being solo, of being single. These are the

Starting point is 00:27:27 strategies for fear that I use all the time. So again, in the confidence course, you can check that out. And then the last one for this section is stand strong in your boundaries. And if someone doesn't meet your standards, don't try to make excuses. Now for an example here, driving is a deal breaker for me. It is one of the standards I have for the one. If somebody doesn't drive, it is a deal breaker for many reasons. And I talk about this in a little bit more detail in an episode that I've got coming up in a couple of weeks about a date that I went on but to just give you a glimpse into it now I want someone who can take care of me in all aspects of life so whilst some people might think it's really shallow to just to care about whether someone drives or not I use an

Starting point is 00:28:21 example of if I'm in labor if I decide to have kids and I'm in labour with my child and I need to get to a hospital, how am I going to get there if my partner can't drive me? And yes, we can argue you could Uber, you could get a taxi, you could get a family member. I want my partner to be able to drive. Not only for the example of labour, if we have kids, what if something's wrong with the kids? What if the child needs picking up from school? What if the kid needs taking somewhere? I want my partner to be able to support me and any future children in all areas of my life. So driving is a deal breaker for me. If somebody doesn't drive, I stand by that. They are my standards and if somebody doesn't meet them, they are not my person.

Starting point is 00:29:07 And I don't believe in the idea that you could be throwing away a good person because of your standards. Just because I choose to not date somebody because they don't meet my standards doesn't mean that they're a bad person, but they are not going to be my person and I am in the strong belief that that if they are meant to be with me they will match my standards if I am meant to be in a relationship with them they will meet my standards they will meet my criteria just as I expect to meet their criteria. So stand strong in what your boundaries are, have those standards, but then keep them. And it comes back to that, like no longer settling. You don't have to remove your boundaries, you don't have to let anyone overstep your boundaries, you don't have to lower your standards or ignore any deal breakers, just because somebody else might judge you. You are allowed to want what

Starting point is 00:30:07 you want and you are worthy and deserving of having that. Okay let's move on to the final section and this is the feel section. This is without a doubt one of the exercises I do more than anything in my entire life. Whether I want to create more confidence, whether I want to build more self-belief, whether I want to improve my self-worth, whether I want to manifest something in my life, visualization is the exercise that I always go to and partly because it helps me really conjure up strong feelings within my body but also because I'm pretty lazy. I don't want to have to sit down and journal for half an hour around what I want. I like to do my mindset work when I'm in bed. Visualization is a really easy way to do that because I can just wake up in the morning and

Starting point is 00:30:58 lay in bed for an extra 10 minutes just picturing everything that I want. And you can always also take visualization to the next level as well. So you want to visualize everything that I want. And you can also take visualization to the next level as well. So you want to visualize everything that you want. You've got your vision, which you did in the think exercise. You've got your list of standards and expectations, which you can also visualize now. And now that you have those things, you can lay down, sit down, stare out the window, go for a walk. You can visualize everything that you have written already. Visualize everything you want and paint a picture so clearly in your mind that it cannot be false. This is where you need to be a bit delusional. This is where you need to daydream non-stop. This is where you need to become so

Starting point is 00:31:48 obsessed with this vision that you actually believe you're living it right now and you want to run through this vision on a daily basis. Now this isn't just about visualising proposals or diamond rings or fancy holidays or having kids or buying a house. This is also about visualising the everyday little things. So visualising the mundane activities. Things like they might bring you a bar of chocolate on their way home from work. Things like you load the dishwasher together. Things like you go for a Sunday morning walk or you wake up in bed together. They bring you a cup of tea. You take them a cup of tea.

Starting point is 00:32:34 Dancing around the kitchen together. Getting a good morning message from them. Going and doing the weekly food shop together. Whatever it is you desire within your relationship, make sure you anchor into these tiny little mundane moments as well because they are what make up the most of your relationship. Yes, the big things like the proposals and the marriage and the kids and the house, they're all exciting things, they're all wonderful parts of a relationship, they are all things that you only get from being within a relationship but they only make up a tiny little part of your relationship whereas all these minuscule little moments that happen in your

Starting point is 00:33:16 everyday life, they make up the majority of your relationship so tune into those focus on those and this helps you also to get clarity on what you want and it brings you those feelings into your body now it helps you imagine and visualize and picture and feel what it would be like to be within that vision now, to have that person now, to be in that relationship. And this helps you to focus on how amazing it will be when you are with them. Instead of being in that lack energy or that lacking feeling of I don't have this. So it's very important when you're doing this visualization work. Instead of letting your brain go to, oh this would be amazing but I don't have that now, don't focus on that. Focus on, I am going to have this one day. This is going to be my reality. I am gonna be living in this relationship at some point and hold on to that certainty. Make that vision so fucking clear in your mind, there is no chance

Starting point is 00:34:28 on earth it cannot happen for you. And then if you want to take visualisation to a whole new level, this is something that I've started doing very recently and I love it, but visualise as you are doing something, like dancing around a kitchen. So I dance around my kitchen all the time but now I've started to imagine and play with the idea that somebody is in the kitchen with me and we are dancing together and it's almost like I can feel the presence of this person dancing around the room with me and you can do that in so many different areas. If you are somebody that dreams of being able to do the weekly food shop with someone, then go to the supermarket, chat to that person in the car, wander around, imagine what you'd be saying to them,

Starting point is 00:35:19 have the conversation with them in your head as you're walking through the supermarket. So the fuck, what if people think you're weird? I don't care. You shouldn't care. This is gonna help you to manifest this into your reality. I believe, personally. You might think I've just lost my shit, but this makes me feel so good. It makes me feel good. It makes me believe that it's possible. It gets me excited for the future and it helps me to relax and to release the pressure that I sometimes put on myself or that other people put on me about finding the one. This helps me to feel relaxed and calm and at peace with the life that I'm going to have in the future and stops me from living in

Starting point is 00:36:06 that lack mentality. Then another great exercise that you can do under the feel umbrella is spend time imagining the feelings that you would experience in your dream relationship. So you can write these down if you want to but think about all the feelings that you would experience in your dream relationship on a daily basis. You might feel cared for, you might feel loved, you might feel special, you might feel attractive, you might feel like you're part of a team. Think about all those feelings and then look for ways that you can bring those feelings into your current life. How can you make those feelings happen for yourself right now before that person comes into your life? And do those things for yourself. So for example, if you want

Starting point is 00:36:54 to, if you would feel attractive every day in your dream relationship, what can you do for yourself to make yourself feel attractive now? Do to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin now? Is it to do with the way that you apply your skincare? Is it the products that you use on your body? Is it a perfume that you wear? Is it the underwear you wear? There's no reason you can't dress up in sexy underwear for yourself now. Do those things now, almost like you're preparing for this dream relationship to come along and embodying this idea that you already have that dream relationship. From an energetic perspective, instead of focusing on your dream relationship as something you want and need, shift into the energy of certainty.

Starting point is 00:37:38 So trust that it's going to happen. When you can create certainty within your body, you let go of any lack or desperation energy. And instead of focusing on what you don't have, you shift into an energy of abundance and gratitude. So whilst you know the one is coming your way, you can still embrace where you are right now. And that's really important is that you can find space to practice gratitude for this moment because there will be a day where the one comes along and you have this dream relationship and you no longer get to experience this magical time of being solo. Think about all the things that you get to do now and if you find it really hard I want to encourage you to write a gratitude list right now of 10 things that you love about being solo

Starting point is 00:38:31 or 10 things that you can be grateful for during this solo period of your life. It's okay to embrace where you are, you can love where you are and you can be manifesting the one for the future. You don't want to get stuck in that energy of I don't have what they have. Or I don't have my person yet. Or I am so lonely. Yes, your reality can be that you feel lonely. I don't want to move away from that idea or tell you that you need to love being single and being on your own is amazing. I understand that for a lot of people it can feel very lonely and there very much is this desire to find the one quickly because you don't want to be alone anymore but if you can try to embrace this

Starting point is 00:39:21 time as you manifest the one into your life you will find yourself feeling much more peaceful much more calmer it will be easier for you to keep those standards high and to stop settling and it will be easier for you to be open to manifesting the one into your life so i hope that this has been an incredibly helpful guide for you. I would really love to hear your feedback on this episode because we've gone very very in depth about a lot of stuff really. We've gone we've gone we've gone really in depth. I've given you pretty much all the exercises that I use so I hope that it's been helpful for you. I'd love to hear what your favourite exercise was and what exercise you'll be trying first. I'd like to hear any your favorite exercise was and what exercise you'll be trying first.

Starting point is 00:40:06 I'd like to hear any exercises that you use yourself to manifest as well. So you can interact using the comment box on Spotify if that's where you're listening. Alternatively, if you go to datewithconfidencepodcast.com slash contribute, there is space on there for you to give me your feedback on the episodes. You can leave me a review on itunes which would be incredibly appreciated we are a new podcast and i would very much value having some reviews on there so that i can reach more people or you can just drop me a dm at date with confidence podcast on instagram i will leave the link to all the places on in the show notes anyway so if I've just said that wrong then I will leave the links in there. We also have a YouTube channel so if

Starting point is 00:40:53 you're not following on YouTube then you can go and follow that but for now I would yeah I'd love to hear from you and I know that the one is out there for you. I know that the one is out there for me. We are both worthy and deserving of having the relationship that we desire. And I promise you this, there will be one day in the future where you are able to look back on this moment and go, I fucking did it. I manifested the relationship of my dreams. But until then, keep those standards high, don't settle for anything less than you deserve, and I will see you in the next one. Thanks so much for listening to the Date With Confidence podcast. I hope you've enjoyed this episode. Subscribe, rate and review, and share it with your single friends. you

The Date with Confidence Podcast - How to Manifest 'The One': Do This Before Dating

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.