The Date with Confidence Podcast - How to Use ChatGPT to NEVER Settle in a Relationship

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Date With Confidence podcast, a place to come for dating advice, support and stories that will either fill you with hope or relief that your dating experience wasn't as bad as it could have been. With practical episodes that will provide you with easy to implement tips to help you feel confident AF on your next date, alongside lighthearted catch ups where your host Rebecca, that's me by the way, shares her own experience dating after four years of the single life. You are guaranteed to end each episode feeling less alone in your dating struggles, empowered to never settle again and confident that the best is yet to come. And if it all falls to shit, there's a special first season dedicated to breakups. You are welcome,

Starting point is 00:00:39 my friend. Subscribe, review and share with your single friends okay so the other week I saw someone say that they had asked chat gpt to write their future story and I did the same because I was like this is interesting I've used chat gpt quite a lot recently I started off using it to write the podcast descriptions from my transcripts I've used it to write SEO descriptions for blog posts Pinterest pin descriptions anything that can just make things quicker for me I don't use it to like write my content or anything obviously because I have enough ideas of my own without needing chat GPT for that but I've also been looking at ways that I can use it in different areas so I helped I use chat gpt to help me create a skincare routine when I was struggling to decide what products to buy which I'm going to do a whole youtube video

Starting point is 00:01:33 about and I'm also going to share the whole youtube video about how I used it to write my future story so if you're not following me on YouTube yet go and subscribe to the Your Confident 30s channel now I'll leave it in the description of this episode but I've been yeah looking at ways that I can use it to just to have a play around really I find it really interesting I find it fascinating and I wanted to see oh another way I used it actually was to create a list of shots for when I was recording some YouTube videos recently I booked like hideout studio booked a day to record videos and I wanted to work out what to wear so I also used it to help me come up with outfit ideas to fit the different YouTube videos which I like didn't end up using anyway but really interesting so I asked it to create my future

Starting point is 00:02:26 story for me and it came up this beautiful story that I'm like oh my god obsessed with using it as my future vision because I like to have guided visualization so now I've got the vision written I'm going to turn it into an audio guided visualization that I can listen to every day but there was something missing I wanted to combine I wanted to combine a relationship aspect into my future story so the prompt that I shared once I'd got the initial story was this is beautiful thank you so much one last tweak I'd like to make can you intertwine a fairy tale healthy nobody wants this style relationship with a tall handsome intelligent and caring man please please be specific about the type of man I'll be with based on this wish list and then I listed out all my standards now doing this exercise I

Starting point is 00:03:26 haven't visited my standards for a couple of months because I've not really been actively dating at the moment so I started writing my standards and then I got more in depth with them as I went through so this is the wish list that I gave chat GPT drives a car six foot two or taller steady to steady career possibly an entrepreneur compatible star sign with me I'm a Sagittarius emotionally available and mature playful fun and always kind to everyone open-minded spiritual and loves a deep conversation affectionate loving talks openly about his feelings. Compatible with my top two love languages, which are physical touch and quality time. Romantic, he likes to plan dates. Reassures me when I'm anxious. Listens to my ideas intently

Starting point is 00:04:17 and supports me with my dreams. Physical chemistry is better than I've ever experienced. Physical chemistry is so important to me he's proud of me and will happily talk about me slash post photos of me on his social media he's ambitious and desires to make a difference in the world owns his own home and car lets me be the passenger always doing thoughtful things for me shows me what it truly means to love someone deeply so I got really clear on my standards and even just writing this list like I have said so many times it's so important for you to be clear on your standards I've got a whole module around raising your relationship standards in the confidence

Starting point is 00:04:55 course it is something that I really encourage you to do especially when you're actively dating because the clearer you are on your standards the easier it's going to be to walk away from the red flags to leave a situationship that is not serving you that doesn't fit your desires it's just so much better to go into dating prepared with a list of the things that you want and with that clarity around the type of person you're looking for and revisiting this exercise regularly especially if you are active actively dating is so so important so as I said I haven't revisited this since I ended things with a guy at the start of the year so it was nice for me to go even deeper about these things and to just let my desires flow as I was typing this list out so I wrote all the things down that I required and then chat gpt came

Starting point is 00:05:46 back with here's your tailored future story with your dream relationship woven in beautifully and oh my god it really is it gives me like a really beautiful vision of the relationship that I want to have in the future so I don't know do you want to hear it if I was listening to a podcast I would want to hear someone else's future vision so I'm gonna read it if I was listening to a podcast I would want to hear someone else's future vision so I'm gonna read it out to you which feels a little bit um I don't know it feels a bit weird because this is like my absolute dream relationship so I don't know it just I love the way that chat gbt put it into such a beautiful like such a beautiful coherent story that I can picture so clearly in my head it's essentially

Starting point is 00:06:26 everything that I picture in my head is just now written into this one vision so the story goes it's another bright golden morning and you wake up to the warmth of sunlight filtering through the curtains but today there's something even better the strong oh my god this is gonna make me laugh so much the strong steady arms of the man who loves you like no one ever has his name is Alex or whatever name you'd prefer and he's everything you've ever wished for at six foot four his presence is magnetic his kind eyes filled with adoration as he greets you with a gentle kiss good morning beautiful he whispers his voice soft but steady you feel completely at ease cherished and grounded in the love you've built together Alex is a man of depth and ambition

Starting point is 00:07:14 with a steady career as a successful entrepreneur who's passionate about making a difference in the world he inspires you with his dedication and open mind, always curious, spiritual and ready for a meaningful conversation. Your mornings often start like this, intimate and unhurried. Over coffee he listens intently as you share your plans for the day, his eyes lighting up at your excitement. That's a brilliant idea Rebecca, I'm so proud of you he says holding your hand his relief in you is unwavering and he supports your dreams as if they were his own when Alex isn't surprising you with thoughtful gestures a handwritten note your favorite treat or a spontaneous road trip planned just for the two of you he's planning romantic dates from candlelit dinners under the stars to playful outings at the local

Starting point is 00:08:05 fair. He keeps the spark alive with his creativity and thoughtfulness. He loves to drive and you adore being his passenger, watching the world go by as his hand rests comfortably on yours. His home, now your shared sanctuary, is a space filled with love, laughter and all the little touches that reflect your journey together. Alex's emotional maturity sets a foundation for a truly healthy relationship. He's always honest and open about his feelings, creating a safe space for you to do the same. When you feel anxious, his calming presence reassures you, holding you close as he reminds you, you're never alone in this. Your love languages, physical touch and quality time are at the heart of your connection.

Starting point is 00:08:45 Whether it's a lingering hug, a spontaneous dance in the kitchen or an uninterrupted evening just talking under the stars, he makes you feel deeply loved in ways you've always dreamed of. Together you laugh often, he's playful, fun and kind to everyone he meets. His positivity is infectious and you find yourself constantly inspired by his zest for life friends and family adore him often commenting on how perfectly matched you are your physical chemistry is electric unlike anything you've ever experienced but it's not just the passion it's the way he looks at you as if you're the only woman in the world and how he's always eager to show you off proudly post proudly posting photos of the

Starting point is 00:09:26 two of you on his social media with captions like the love of my life my greatest inspiration okay that it's like a little bit cringe but I kind of secretly love it as you both work towards your dreams you cheer each other on celebrating each victory Alex reminds you daily of what it truly means to be deeply loved not just with words but with actions that leave no doubt in your mind and at night as you both wind down he wraps you in his arms telling you how grateful he is for you you've made my life brighter rebecca he says softly and as you drift to sleep you know this is the kind of love that fairy tales are written about but even better because it's real i read that i and was like, oh my god, that's so incredible.

Starting point is 00:10:06 Obviously there are some cheesy bits, there are a bit, a few bits that are a little bit cringey and that's absolutely fine, like I'm here for it, it's great. What I thought was really amazing, there were a couple of things in there about dancing around the kitchen and staring at the stars because they are my two things, before I used chat gpt to write this story for me they were two things that were always deeply ingrained in my mind like when I picture my dream relationship I don't focus on things like the proposal or the proposal or the marriage or all the big things I very much focus on the tiny little everyday things one of those being us dancing around the kitchen together and I think I talk about this more in

Starting point is 00:10:50 how to manifest the one there's another episode I'll find it for you and I'll share it in the comment in the I'll share it in the description because I talk about that more in detail there but I focus on the really little things and one of my favorite memories with my ex we spent a night it might have even been my birthday I can't remember now but there was a night where we sat on our balcony and we just sat staring at the stars for hours I think like he sat on the chair I sat on his lap and we just literally laid on the balcony looking up at the stars watching them all they were shooting stars it was such like a beautiful moment and I really have like that's one of my like favorite core memories from that relationship just the simplicity of just being in each other's company talking about the world and gazing up at the night sky and we used to do that a lot before we were in a in officially in a relationship

Starting point is 00:11:43 there's quite a few times where we'd come home from like drunk nights out where we'd sit on balconies like I mean we used I used to smoke then so we'd like sit smoking and chatting about the universe and like the most deep intense things that obviously I can't remember because it was like what eight years ago nine years ago now oh my god really wow that's a long time ago um it was yeah it was quite a long time ago probably actually no 10 years 11 years we met in 2013 so whenever that was but those moments of just where you don't have anything else distracting you no tv no scrolling on social media no electronics it's literally just you and the other person and the company I love that so much that level of intimacy where you're just existing with each other is one of my favorite

Starting point is 00:12:32 things about being in a relationship so I love the fact that that was part of this vision as well and at the very end chat GPT was like Alex isn't just a dream he's out there looking for someone exactly like you as you align your life with the love you desire you'll naturally draw him in believe in yourself trust the process and watch the pieces fall into place and I was like oh my god that's so beautiful you're like give me a little pep talk as well and then I obviously asked chat TPT to rewrite the future vision that it had already given me but make Alex a central feature in the story which it then did and I'm going to share that in the YouTube video that is coming out soon so you

Starting point is 00:13:12 can go and watch that if you want to hear the story even more otherwise this literally whole episode is just going to be me reading out stories there was reasons behind me doing this I didn't just do it for the fun of it like I did do it for the fun of it because I was interested as I said I've been using chat gpt for a lot of things recently and I was just curious about what it would create for me but I also think it is so vital having this crystal clear vision in your mind and I am very good at creating a vision in my mind I'm very good at connecting um and creating like a picture in my mind like a what a video in my mind of what I want my life to look like I find it really easy to visualize things but I wanted another version of that like I've had my

Starting point is 00:14:00 vision that I've had for ages but I wanted like a next level version of it and I really believe having this vision reminds you not to settle it can be so easy when you start dating someone to think especially if you've been single for a long time but to think oh well this is good like this is this is going okay like there's some things on my wish list that I like this is good I'm gonna give them a chance I'll see how things go and that can be okay but you know deep down whether you're settling I knew deep down it wasn't even that deep like I knew pretty clearly in my mind when I initially started dating the guy at the start of the year that I would be settling and it was something that I kind of played with in my mind because I knew that it was just okay it wasn't this vision that I have for my life and I think what's really

Starting point is 00:14:56 important is that you don't become so fixated on the vision that you overlook opportunities or you overlook possibilities and that you completely cross out anyone that doesn't fit that exactly you still need to have an open mind you need to be open-minded enough to know that your vision is a guide and it's not a set in stone thing because obviously I am these are just things that I would like their desires that I would really love from a partner their attributes I'd love from a partner it's how I want the partner to make me feel and at the same time they're still quite broad like my my wish list is specific enough to ensure that I don't settle but not so specific that I'm attached to a certain person

Starting point is 00:15:45 for example I'm not attached to a certain color eyes or a certain hair or an exact height or a certain accent or a certain skin color or nationality like I'm not so attached that they have to be that specific but for me it's more about the way that they make me feel the way that our relationship can be together those kind of things I yeah as I said I'm open minded enough to know that there may be things that aren't dead on those things right but having this vision is so so important and what it also helps do, before I had the chat GPT one, but just having a vision in general, it can help you assess dating profiles more intently.

Starting point is 00:16:34 So instead of looking at a dating profile and being like, well, I don't see any red flags and giving someone a chance, you're being more intentional with the dating profiles that you're swiping right on if you know that there's a lot of characteristics that they already don't fit and I'm not just talking about looks or job type or anything like that I'm talking about the words that they use in their profile like if they haven't put a lot of detail in their profile and they've just used like the prompts to write I don't know stupid one-liners or random things that don't actually make sense you're not gonna settle for someone

Starting point is 00:17:12 that can't fill out a dating profile intentionally are you when you've got this crystal clear vision of who you want to meet in your mind so I think that's how something like chat tpt can really help you to improve your dating life by really getting crystal clear on the vision that you want and having that future story written for you that is open to interpretation it's open to evolution as well like i'm not so set on that story that that's how that story's got to be for the rest of my life if I am still dating a year in a year and I haven't found my person there might be certain things that actually change about my vision and I'm opening I'm open to that as well but I think using something like

Starting point is 00:17:55 that to create your vision especially if you're someone that struggles to piece your vision together it can be a really valuable tool and a really valuable way to get that story set in your brain so that you don't settle for anyone else in the future what's really important as well is this is the this is the type of relationship that I want right this is my fairy tale romance I want to meet someone exactly as chat gpt has described and at the same time I'm not in a rush I would rather wait longer to meet the right person than speed up that timeline have the romance have the husband have the babies with the wrong person. Does that make sense? Like I would like to me, the right person is always going to be more important than the timeline. I am so connected

Starting point is 00:18:52 to this vision to the type of relationship that I desire. And I am so trusting in the energy that it is going to happen, as opposed to what if it doesn't, like the knowing it is going to happen as opposed to what if it doesn't like the knowing it's going to happen is more important than the when it's going to happen because of that I'm open to allowing the like allowing life to play out as it's supposed to for me I'm not so attached to needing this fairy tale immediately because I know the fairy tale is coming and it will be worth the wait so whether I have to wait another three months six months twelve months three years for the fairy tale waiting for the fairy tale far outweighs the need for the fairy tale to happen immediately which I hope I've just explained well

Starting point is 00:19:43 so I really want to encourage you if you do this then please do get in touch go to datewithconfidencepodcast.com slash contribute and there's a section where you can share your thoughts in that form with me like if you do this exercise please get in touch with me and tell me whether you enjoyed it whether you hated it how you found it whether you uncovered any new standards that you hadn't really thought about before tell me how accurate it was um because i yeah i i think it's such a great exercise it's such a fun exercise like anything like this is supposed to be fun and expansive and enjoyable and just to help you open your mind up get crystal

Starting point is 00:20:23 clear on what you want so that you don't settle for less than you actually deserve I'll share the prompts that I used with you in the show notes so that you can go and share that prompt in um in chat gpt and yeah get in touch with me let me know how the exercise goes and if you enjoyed this episode don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and to leave me a review it would be very much appreciated because the more reviews we get the more people will get in front of so that would be amazing and if you haven't subscribed to the your confident 30s youtube channel go and subscribe to that now because i'll be sharing more about my future story and how i used chat gpt to create that for me um in the

Starting point is 00:21:05 coming weeks plus I'm going to share how I use chat tpt to help me create my skincare routine because I again find that so so interesting thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next one thanks so much for listening to the date with confidence podcast I hope you've enjoyed this episode subscribe rate and review and share it with your single friends you

The Date with Confidence Podcast - How to Use ChatGPT to NEVER Settle in a Relationship

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