The Date with Confidence Podcast - MAFS S11: Lessons You Need To Improve Your New Relationship

Starting point is 00:00:00 The lesson I've got for this one, if it looks like a red flag, speaks like a red flag, and acts like a red flag, it's a red fucking flag. I don't think I have ever despised a groom on Married at First Sight more. Do you know what irritates me more than anything about him? Is- Welcome to the Date With Confidence podcast,

Starting point is 00:00:20 a place to come for dating advice, support, and stories that'll either fill you with hope or relief that your dating experience wasn't as bad as it could have been. With practical episodes that'll provide you with easy to implement tips to help you feel confident AF on your next date, alongside lighthearted catch-ups where your host Rebecca, that's me by the way, shares her own experience dating after four years of the single life, you are guaranteed to end each episode feeling less alone in your dating struggles empowered to never settle again and confident that the best is yet

Starting point is 00:00:50 to come and if it all falls to shit there's a special first season dedicated to breakups you are welcome my friend subscribe review and share with your single friends let's talk about married at first sight i don't know about you but I am obsessed with Married at First Sight Australia and last season I don't think I've watched season 10 because I specifically said to myself I'm not going to watch any of season 10 episode because I know that as soon as I watch one episode I am sucked in and that is me for however many weeks it's on. However, season 11, I got sucked in. There was nothing on the TV one night, I flicked it over, and then that's it, hook, line, sinker. Now I am addicted and obsessed. So in this episode of the Date With Confidence podcast, I thought we would

Starting point is 00:01:40 talk about the lessons that we can learn from the remaining couples in season 11 and the lessons that you can learn from them to improve your new relationship so these are pretty important lessons that can help you in the dating stages in that early relationship stage it can probably even help you if you've like been in a relationship for a while, to be honest. But there's a lot. There's a lot to unpack. There's a lot that we can learn from the mistakes that these couples have made. And maybe not even mistakes. Some of them are mistakes, but there's just a lot of lessons that we can learn.

Starting point is 00:02:17 And I thought that that would be a really fun episode to record. So I believe there are eight couples remaining. So we've got Tim and Lucinda. Tim and Sarah. Tristan and Cassandra, Richard and Andrea, Ridge and Jade, Jonathan and Lauren, Jack and Tori and Jaden and Eden. So we're going to look at lessons from each couple. So let's get started with perhaps one of my favourite couples. One of my favourite couples in the experiment, Timothy and Lucinda. I love these because I feel very much like a bit of Lucinda. Maybe like 75-80% Lucinda.

Starting point is 00:02:59 I do have parts of me that is nowhere near as patient as she is. And doesn't have the love everyone all the time energy there are times where I do just think people are pricks whereas she seems to be accepting of everyone no matter how much of a dick they are which I think is a beautiful trait to have but I just think she is such an incredible person I think she's such a wonderful soul she's just so accepting and smooth and loving and she just wants to lift everybody up so I think she's amazing and Timothy I see the softer gentle hurt part of him that he's almost trying to hide or disassociate from and I feel like he's such a loving person underneath but obviously you can see how high his walls are and the fact that he's going through this grieving process after losing his dad and now he's got no

Starting point is 00:04:02 family left like oh he just tugs on my heartstrings and I also think he's fucking hilarious I think he's such a funny person so these two are one of my favorite couples so the lesson that I thought we would touch on for this couple is patience confidence breeds trust and that a slow burn is okay and this feels very symbolic is symbolic I don't know if that's the right word this very much I feel mirrors the situation that I have with the guy that I have been dating I feel like it's been slower burn not from a sexual side of things because obviously we slept together on the first date but from a like um from a connection space it's not that like it hasn't been that rushing obsessed with each other at first sight can't get enough

Starting point is 00:05:00 of each other talk like all day every day need to be with him need to see him need to need to be focused on him all the time that I've had with previous people that I've met and that slower burn is really nice and we can see that from Timothy and Lucinda the fact that she has been so patient with him she has been loving, she hasn't tried to force things, she's very clearly communicated what she wants, what her desires are, she's clearly communicated things when she's been upset, but she does so in such a beautiful loving way and she has been so patient with him and because of how patient she's been that has built that trust and trust is what we all want in our relationships right you can't have a solid relationship without trust and because of her patience they've now got

Starting point is 00:06:00 that trust between one another and I think it's important to distinguish here it is one thing making excuses for someone's behavior and it's another allowing them to slowly and steadily open up to you so if he had been rude throughout if he had been rude and she had not stood up to him if she had not openly communicated what was good for her what was bad for her and just gone about making excuses for he's like this because of the grief or he's like this because of that and excused any bad behavior from him towards her like that's not healthy I've done that in all my previous relationships where someone has behaved in a shitty way to me and instead of saying I understand where you're coming from but I am not willing to tolerate that behavior

Starting point is 00:06:58 I've just gone around making excuses for them and gone oh well it's okay that they've made me feel like that because they're having a hard time and ignored my own feelings which I don't think is the right way to go about things and so I think really what we can what we can learn is to remain true to yourself throughout so remain who you are remain true to yourself have patience if you genuinely believe there's something there if you can see something in that person and they are willing to work on it i think that's the key thing timothy has been willing all the way along to soften he has been willing to take a look at himself he's been willing to however slow to allow this process to happen and I think that's important and the final thing is don't make somebody else's hurt about you this is a huge lesson that

Starting point is 00:07:55 a lot of people can really benefit from myself included I have always made other people's feelings mean something about me so if somebody else if my partner was having a bad day if they were stressed if they were angry I made that mean that I was the problem and rather than allowing them to process whatever they were going through in whatever way they needed to, my behaviour changed. So I would either become short with them, I would be a bit snappy because I felt like they were taking their stress out on me, I would completely shut down and not want to speak to them or I would end up in an anxious frozen state because I was telling myself that their being stressed was a problem for me. Lucinda hasn't done that. Whenever Timothy has shut down, whenever he's been upset, if he's perhaps lashed out or behaved a certain way, she hasn't adopted that to mean that she's

Starting point is 00:08:59 the problem. She's allowed him space for his emotions and actually this is something that isn't in my notes but she allows him his space and his time but then she is there to reassure him and say I am here for you what do you need I'm proud of you constantly with those positive affirmations you're such a gorgeous soul you're doing so well I'm so proud of you and this could very much be seen at the dinner party on Thursday when he said to her I just need a moment and he went off he had his moment she left him to have that space but then a little while later she went in to check and reassure him and I think that's really beautiful as well, like allowing the other person their space, not taking it on as you are the problem, but then also being there for them in whatever way that they need.

Starting point is 00:09:52 And in return, Timothy has very much learned to trust Lucinda and has slowly and surely and steadily started opening up to her. So he's been willing to put in the work as well which is another lesson I think we can all learn then on to Tim and Sarah I have mixed feelings about this relationship because obviously Sarah didn't behave in the best way I think that was completely unfair and I think one of the lessons that we can learn from here is if you are not seeing the effort you require and the effort you deserve it's okay to walk away I know that Tim didn't walk away but for me it would be really hurtful if I had planned a date and then my partner was like oh I can't come I'm too hungover I would be really hurt and if it happened three times I'd be like, you know what, I'm not

Starting point is 00:10:46 willing to put up with this and walk away. However, if you're in a scenario with someone and they do something that hurts you or they do something that breaks your trust or impacts your relationship in those early days, if you choose to stay you have to be willing to let go of the past. You cannot make the decision to stay with them and then hold their actions against them. You are either in or you are out because holding on to that resentment, holding on to that anger or that hurt is only going to negatively impact your relationship moving forward. We can see again at the dinner party on Thursday, Tim has made his decision, he has decided to stay with Sarah, she is putting in the effort to make up for the fact that she saw her ex. He's made that decision and he's moving forward from

Starting point is 00:11:47 the space of we're starting fresh I'm going all in for this and that's what we have to do in those scenarios anyone can make mistakes I think sometimes it's for it can be a pattern sometimes it can be a pattern of mistakes to the point where it gets to the point where you've made the mistake so many times it's not actually a mistake it's just a character flaw it's just who you are and I think it's down to you to trust your intuition and decide whether you are willing to move forward or not. As I said, if you are willing to move forward, you have to let it go. You cannot then decide to hold it against them further down the line. Three months down the line, you can't go, oh, but you went on a date with your ex-boyfriend, for example, like in this scenario. You have to either be in or you're out.

Starting point is 00:12:41 And walking away can be the hardest decision, but there are times where that is definitely the best decision now my second favorite couple these are these are like my top two favorite couples so timothy and lucinda and then tristan and cassandra i love these two so much and i will be devastated if it doesn't work out for them because they are such wonderful humans I think Cassandra is such a beautiful patient loving kind person and I think Tristan is equally the same like I think he's such an amazing guy he's so like I feel like he just lifts people up the way that he is he's always cheering people on he's so nice I really really like him and it actually breaks my heart when I see how he sees himself it is heartbreaking to see such an attractive guy feel so badly about himself

Starting point is 00:13:41 he's someone who I definitely would put in what like in the top of like the most attractive from the series he's probably in my top three I'm trying to think who's in there yeah he's probably in my top three top four of who are the most attractive of the series so seeing the fact that he doesn't see that himself is heartbreaking and the lesson that we can learn from them particularly from Tristan is that your self-confidence can massively impact your love life massively impact it he was willing to walk away from someone who is saying to him and so loving to him and such an amazing person to him because he didn't feel that he deserved it because his self-confidence is low don't lose someone amazing by not believing that you deserve them don't let your anxiety negatively impact your relationship and this is very much this low self-esteem low confidence is very much a you

Starting point is 00:14:47 problem it is not somebody else's responsibility to make you feel confident in yourself and you can see that from Cassandra and Tristan you can see the way that she wanted to hug him the way that she affirmed how attracted she was to him the way that she'd say kind things to him all the time the compliments that she'd give him constantly he was so in his head that he couldn't absorb that so no matter what anyone would do no matter what anyone does for you no matter how anyone else treats you if you don't do that work on yourself you are never going to believe it. And if you don't believe it, then you are at risk, you're at risk of losing what could be a beautiful relationship. I mean, obviously, this is the Date With Confidence podcast. I'm a confidence coach. Confidence is something that I will talk about all day, every day. It's something that I'm so passionate about. It is crucial for

Starting point is 00:15:42 you to achieve anything that you want in life, for you to get everything you desire in life and it is so crucial when you're entering a new relationship especially. You have to have the confidence in yourself to handle any obstacles that come up in the early days, to ensure that you're not relying on this other person to make you feel good in yourself to validate you constantly nobody wants to get into a relationship with someone that needs constant reassurance because it is exhausting and it gets to the point where you say the same thing over and over again and it's not heard and it's not received and then you're like what am I doing like it's draining trying to lift someone up all the time now I'm not saying that there are not moments where it's okay for your confidence to dip of course it is I teach the 90 90 mindset

Starting point is 00:16:41 concept and the first core principle of that is that 100% confidence 100% of the time doesn't exist. We work towards creating 90% confidence 90% of the time because that is realistic and that allows you that 10% of time where your confidence is low. If you're on your period for example or in the lead up to your period, if you have had a knock back at work, if you're feeling a bit rejected for whatever reason, of course it's okay to have moments where you do need that external validation and where you do need that external reassurance from your partner but not working on your self-confidence can massively impact your love life and it can destroy what could be a beautiful relationship with someone and I think if you take anything away from this episode please let it be to actively

Starting point is 00:17:36 and consciously work on creating more confidence on a daily basis I've got a ton of resources that can help you with this you'll find them all in the show notes but that is so key for you when you are confident in yourself you can handle anything you will show up so much better for your partner as well next up we have Richard and Andrea I loved these to begin with and I was like oh my god it's so nice that they've got that connection and then there was that moment where Richard obviously spoke um quite I don't even know what he said like I can't even remember they keep doing the flashbacks I can't remember what it was that he said on the couch that gave Andrea the ick but whatever it was he obviously spoke very openly about their sex life which was a boundary that he crossed and a bit like Tim and Sarah actually they've decided to stay together and he's committed to to working on it but there's still that bit that she can't let go and I think in these scenarios

Starting point is 00:18:38 if you choose to stay with someone you do have to make the commitment to let that thing go and I understand why our walls were up I completely get it and at the same time the biggest lesson we can learn from these two is communication is everything the way they communicate is not the best at all it irritates me so much the way that Richard talks over Andrea when she is trying to get her feelings out, when she's trying to say this is how I feel, she's not attacking him but she's trying to explain her feelings and he's talking over her and telling her that she's wrong. That pisses me off no end because I've had so many men do that to me. It's not okay. He needs to be willing to listen and the lesson

Starting point is 00:19:34 that we can learn from this is you have to be willing to listen without being defensive or you will push the person away more. Now nobody likes hearing negative feedback, nobody likes to admit when they have hurt someone else's feelings, it impacts our ego, it makes us feel shit about ourselves, of course we are going to be defensive but when you are in that defensive attacking mode you're not hearing what the other person has said. You have to let your ego go and you have to be willing to sit and listen and hear them. And then you have to be willing to try and understand from their perspective. Now there's a good chance that you won't always understand where they're coming from.

Starting point is 00:20:24 But people want to be heard in a relationship, that is the most important thing and the way that he is using people's past traumas as an excuse, so the way that he's using Andy's past trauma as an excuse is not okay because he's not taking responsibility for what he can control. So this is the lesson that we can learn. We can't use people's past as an excuse for their behavior. We can't say, oh well you're only attacking me because a man in your past treated you this way. We can't use that. We can't say say oh you're treating me like this because your x did x y and z we have to take responsibility as an individual for what we can control so of course if you're in a relationship with someone or you're just starting a relationship with someone

Starting point is 00:21:19 where they've been hurt in the past maybe they've been cheated on maybe they've been hurt in the past, maybe they've been cheated on, maybe they've had some shitty relationships. Yes, the way that they are behaving could very much relate to that past relationship, but you have to be willing to show them that you are not that part, you are not that past person, and you have to be willing to take responsibility for what you can control. So in this scenario it could look like reassuring them, being there to listen to them, understanding that when a certain behaviour that you have is going to impact them and I'm not saying you need to change who you are but it's just knowing and creating that awareness around okay when I do this thing it really impacts this person so for example I'm

Starting point is 00:22:10 going to give you an example because I've had conversations like this with a guy that I'm seeing at the moment he knows that I can get anxious when I haven't heard from him or like an ex-partner for a long time he knows that that radio silence or long times without messages can be something that I find triggering that's not his fault that's based on my anxious attachment and the relationships that I've had in the past but because I've openly communicated with him that this is something that makes me anxious and because he's taken the time to listen and to hear me he makes the effort despite me never having asked him to do that he makes the effort to message me and say I'm really busy at work today

Starting point is 00:23:02 so I'm not going to be able to reply I'll get back to you as soon as I can have a good day every single night before he goes to bed he messages me to say good night or if he feels like he's going to fall asleep he'll message me before he falls asleep so that he knows he hasn't gone to bed without saying good night that's not something I've asked him to do that's something he's done I mean he's always said goodnight even before we went on the first date but he's that's something that he has actively done because of conversations we've had he's listened to me he's heard me and he's chosen to behave a certain way based on that which is a really nice thing to do I think and it comes back to this what we were

Starting point is 00:23:48 talking about with Richard and Andrea communication is everything I feel like I've just called her Andrea Andrea I feel like I keep interchanging that name but coming back to that communication is everything it's so important especially in the new days because there will be moments especially if you haven't dated for a long time if this is a relationship after a particularly toxic one if you have had some bad relationships the early stages is when you're going to be the most triggered it's when memories from your past are going to come up it's when you're going to be the most triggered. It's when memories from your past are going to come up. It's when you're going to have strong feelings about your ex or moments where you find yourself comparing your ex to this new person. That's always going to happen in the early

Starting point is 00:24:38 stages of dating and you need to communicate those things. You need to be able to communicate with the other person and when they are communicating with you, you have to be able to communicate with the other person and when they are communicating with you you have to be willing to listen without being defensive and I think if everyone learned that maybe the confidence one isn't the lesson that you need to walk away with maybe it's this one confident communication is the most important thing in a relationship I believe okay on to Ridge and Jade I actually really like these I know we don't actually see a lot of them on the screens I feel like when the couples are doing really well we don't actually see them a lot the lesson I put here is that first impressions aren't everything

Starting point is 00:25:19 and vulnerability builds connection I feel like the first impression thing is actually more of a me thing rather than a will benefit you in a new relationship thing. But when I first saw Ridge, like on the wedding day, I was like, oh my God, this guy is such a dick with his deece and all that. Like he just seemed so immature and so irritating. And I'm sorry, I'm sure he's not gonna listen to this, but I'm sorry. My sure he's not gonna listen to this but I'm sorry my opinion of

Starting point is 00:25:46 him has changed so much since that very first that very first day that he was on our screens because he seems like such a genuine loving guy and I really like him now I really like him and Jade together and the vulnerability builds connection. When you open up to the right person, it will really bring the two of you together and not make them want to run away. Obviously, Jade opened up about her past relationships, about what happened with her daughter's dad and that was a really vulnerable thing for her to do in that scene you can see how ridge is listening and really hearing her and her being vulnerable has just helped enhance his feelings for her it has made the two of them feel more connected if you are vulnerable with someone and they pull away then maybe they're not your person I genuinely believe when you are vulnerable with the right person they are simply

Starting point is 00:26:55 going to connect with you more and I'm not saying you need to be vulnerable and trauma dump on the person when you've just started dating them but when you start to open up around different things and they can acknowledge the hardships that you've had and they just want to be there to support you that can really build that connection so don't be afraid about being vulnerable and maybe also acknowledge that there's a good chance you'll have a bit of a vulnerability hangover afterwards or you could have a bit of a vulnerability hangover afterwards but I've actually got a video that can help you with that the discomfort zone come down I can leave that in the show notes for you to go and watch if you are ever struggling with that

Starting point is 00:27:41 okay we've got three more couples left so Jonathan and Lauren I think this is a lesson that we can all learn and it is a lesson that I've definitely learned this year prior to starting the show your previous type hasn't worked for a reason don't be so attached to who you've decided you should be with that you miss out on someone who you actually deserve. I'm just going to say that again because I feel like this needs to land. Don't be so attached to who you've decided you should be with that you miss out on someone who you actually deserve. As we can see in Married at First Sight, when Jonathan Lauren first matched, she was very much like like we don't have the banter he's not taking the piss out of me I don't feel like there's a connection he's not this he's not that my type

Starting point is 00:28:33 is normally this these are the types of guys I go for this is not him but as the seasons have progressed and she obviously got called out on that she's given him a chance and now their connection has deepened so even though on paper he isn't her type her type didn't work with her for a reason just like your type didn't work for you for a reason my type definitely hasn't worked for me and I felt like this when I started dating the guy that I'm seeing he is not like on paper my type he's not a dick he's like really nice so I'm not used to it and I felt similar in the early stages I was like obviously we have such a great time together I really like him as a person we get on really well the chemistry is great but there was part of me that was like

Starting point is 00:29:29 but he's not my type but I do genuinely feel like he is someone that I've always deserved to be with and I think that's something that we can consider as well just because somebody doesn't seem your type don't write them off immediately. Obviously there's no point in sticking around with someone who you genuinely feel nothing for. There's no friendship, there's no chemistry, there's no connection, there's no desire to see them. There's no point in continuing to see someone like that. I've met plenty of men who are not my type who I've known within the first one to two dates that I'm not discarding them because they're not my type I'm discarding them

Starting point is 00:30:13 because we are just not a match so I think open yourself up to people who are not the same as your type because your previous type hasn't worked for a reason and as you can see with Jonathan and Lauren that connection is slowly and steadily built now they do have the banter they do have each other's back or do you know has Lauren's back more now than he like more now than he did previously so don't just write someone off just because on paper they don't seem like your type okay my least favorite couple can you guess I would actually be so interested to hear your point of view on this next couple Jack and Tori the lesson I've got for this one if it looks like a red flag speaks like a red flag, speaks like a red flag and acts like a red flag, it's a red fucking flag. I was going to say, if it looks like a prick, speaks like a prick and acts like a prick,

Starting point is 00:31:10 it's a fucking prick, which I still stand by. Those sentences are interchangeable. I don't think I have ever despised a groom on Married at First Sight more. I think he is an appalling human being. The way he speaks to women, the way he speaks about women, the way he spoke to Tristan, the body shaming comments that come out of it. And then the fucking apology that was like here are some supplements are you fucking serious here is some like i'm sorry that i called you fat here are some weight loss weight loss supplements as an apology like nah you are a massive fucking prick the end i honestly have never despised a grown more i hated b Bryce. I thought he was a prick. I can't remember who else there were. Who else were there another? There's been quite a lot of

Starting point is 00:32:12 men that I've not liked. I mean, there's been women that I haven't liked either, but I think he is the most misogynistic, thinks the world of himself, vile human. There has actually not been a single moment where I've softened towards him because I'm very much a person, I'm very much a Lucinda, as I said. I will give people the benefit of the doubt. I will see the bright sides of them. I will accept that humans make mistakes. I will be very understanding and compassionate towards people. But there has not been a single moment where I've felt anything other than irritation from this guy. He's lied from the start. The way that he's talked about Tory, The way... I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:33:06 I'm not even sorry. Do you know what irritates me more than anything about him? Is the moustache. I... What the fuck is it? Why have you shaved two thirds of your top lip and left this thin moustache when you can still see the shadow of the rest of it i don't fucking get it shave it all off it is i can't it you know when you look at something and

Starting point is 00:33:36 it just fills you with rage and i think it's because he's such an arsehole he's just got more and more unattractive as the season has gone on because he is such a dick he thinks he's better than everyone else the way that he talks about people was disgusting the muzzle your wife comment was disgusting i have got no time for him i do not like him he's a red fucking flag he has put in no effort to change his behaviour. He has upset everyone. He has behaved like a dick to everyone. And he does the whole lip service of the, oh yeah, I need to change. I need to be different. But his words don't match his fucking actions. And that is annoying. And I don't know what the fuck Tori's doing, honestly, because she talks about being this strong, confident woman, yet she is allowing that behaviour, and she's not even allowing that

Starting point is 00:34:35 behaviour, it's associating herself with and sticking up for that behaviour, like, even at the dinner party on Thursday, when she was trying to have her say Jack started talking over the top of her like that's so fucking disrespectful how can you continually support someone who gives you zero respect like I don't care what it's like behind closed doors like if he's disrespecting you in public that's what's important how is he gonna not be disrespecting you in private if he can openly do it in front of everyone else? I think the lesson we can learn from this one is when people show you who they really are, believe them and walk the fuck away. Because you deserve so much better. I really, he infuriates me and i wouldn't be surprised if he fucked her off at the end of the episode i wouldn't be surprised if he was like no i'm walking away at final vows

Starting point is 00:35:37 if they make it to final vows i just i think as well what makes it worse is he knows how into him Tori is. I think he likes that power dynamic of she's really into me. It's like an ego boost. I'm going to control her. Even, I think it was even on their wedding day, he said something that was controlling around like how he was gonna get i think he said something about her being like a strong woman or like a strong personality and how he was gonna change that or something along those lines it was a really again misogynistic controlling sentence and the way that he sits on the sofa and like holds on to her neck like just everything

Starting point is 00:36:26 about him is controlling it's misogynistic it's disgusting if somebody is treating you if you come across a jack and you have just got into a new relationship with a jack walk the fuck away now because it is only gonna end badly for you the end ran over my blood's boiling okay the last one the last one of course is jayden and eden these two have been steadily consistent since the beginning i really like them i don't necessarily like the way that jayaden's behaved sometimes because I think having a go at Timothy was a shitty move I mean I love Timothy so there we go but I think telling him that he needed to move his relationship quicker with Lucinda I don't agree with that just because you're in your like bubble of love with Eden great I don't think he had any place to be telling Timothy what

Starting point is 00:37:29 Timothy's relationship looked like and I do think that could maybe be an age thing because obviously he's only 27 and I know what I was like in my 20s like I had those really um I had those rushed relationships or those like not love at first i was definitely lost at first sight but those like intense head over heels full steam ahead romantic as fuck swept me off my feet relationships in my 20s so i understand where he's coming from i don't necessarily agree with the way that he behaved but the the lesson that we can learn from Jaden and Eden is that love at first sight can exist. It can exist. It is possible to have a beautiful, blossoming romance where there are minimal speed bumps.

Starting point is 00:38:19 And then when you face those speed bumps in the early stages of your relationship, I think the way that they have handled things, obviously the information about Sarah, they did it as a team. Now the sneak peek that showed on Thursday did kind of suggest that on tonight's episode, on Monday's episode, I don't know when you're listening to this, but tonight's the 14th of April it did suggest that there may be problems in paradise whether that is the case we will find out later but so far the way that they have both shown up to this relationship from the beginning they have had each other's backs they have have been a team. They have continually done nice things for each other.

Starting point is 00:39:07 They have been open to love. Despite both coming from traumatic breakups previously, despite coming from those past relationships where they were cheated on, despite having all that baggage from their past they both chose to go into the relationship very open and willing to work on things together then when they had the letter writing thing and um jayden had confessed to sleeping with his ex's friend to kind of get back at her for the cheating the way they communicated through that and the way that eden then chose to move forward again coming back to what we said about tim and sarah eden made that decision to stay with him and then

Starting point is 00:39:53 left it she didn't keep bringing it up she hasn't held it against him they communicate well they are both equally as willing to put their all into the relationship and I think that is what is so important when starting a relationship the willingness to learn about each other to connect with each other to communicate with each other has to be there from both parties for it to blossom into a beautiful relationship so I hope you enjoyed this episode i thought this would be quite a fun one to talk about i hope that you've enjoyed it i'd love to hear from you go to date with confidence podcast.com contribute to share your feedback on these lessons and to tell me what you think about the maths contestants this year contestants is that what we're calling them

Starting point is 00:40:42 um tell me what you think about the maths couples this year because i would love to know whether we share the same views or are you like a diehard jack fan i'm really hoping not i mean i won't hold it against you but i really hope you're not i really really really hope you're not but feel free to challenge what i've suggested feel free to challenge what i've shared in here I'm always up for an open conversation I'm a very open-minded person and I love to hear other people's perspectives because it really opens my mind up to new ways of thinking I've actually got an episode coming for you very soon around an alternative perspective on the love languages after a conversation I had with the guy that I'm seeing last week where he was very much like love languages are bullshit and

Starting point is 00:41:31 we had quite an in-depth discussion about it that really opened my mind up to a new way of looking at things um so I'm always up for yeah differing opinions differing points of view you can contribute via that form or you can always send me a dm on instagram i'm at rebecca lucy h or you can dm the date with confidence podcast on instagram as well because we have our own channel there thank you so much for listening if you have enjoyed this please do me a massive favor please rate and review on itunes or spotify or wherever you're listening to your podcast and please share this episode with someone that you know either someone that loves married at first sight share it on your social media share it with your single friends wherever i would love

Starting point is 00:42:19 to grow this podcast more okay thanks so much for listening I will see you in the next one thanks so much for listening to the date with confidence podcast I hope you've enjoyed this episode subscribe rate and review and share it with your single friends Thank you.

The Date with Confidence Podcast - MAFS S11: Lessons You Need To Improve Your New Relationship

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