The Date with Confidence Podcast - Psychological Tricks To Make A Man Fall In Love With You

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

EPISODE 36: Psychological Tricks To Make A Man Fall In Love With YouA few weeks ago, I was having a little scroll on TikTok and a video popped up in my feed: Psychological Tricks to Make a Man Fall In Love With You.I’ve got a few thoughts and feelings about this so in this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I thought I’d share with you my own tips and tricks to make a man fall in love with you. These are the greatest tools you’ll ever learn and will not only help you find love with someone else, but will also help you fall head over heels in love with yourself…Here’s what we covered:1. What I Really Think: I’m openly sharing my thoughts on using psychological tricks to make someone fall in love with you and emphasising the desire for genuine connections built on authenticity.2. Desiring Love for Who You Are: I reveal how I want someone to fall in love with me and the foundations I want our romantic relationship to be built upon.3. Building Self-Confidence: I uncover simple yet powerful techniques to help you transform your inner narrative so you never feel like you need to reach for external tricks to be attractive to someone. 4. Acting Confident: We discuss utilising tools like grooming and dressing well to enhance self-confidence as well as surrounding yourself with confident individuals, limiting exposure to negativity.5. Feeling Confident: We’re looking at the link between body confidence and the perceived need of psychological tricks plus how to improve your body confidence with one simple tool. Don’t forget to check out Level Up In Love: A 3 month close-proximity coaching container dedicated to helping you date with confidence, build better boundaries, raise your relationship standards and finally manifest the dream relationship you've always deserved.Think: a private group chat with your besties where you can talk about dating dilemmas, how to confidently communicate your wants, needs and desires, get support after a shitty dating experience and celebrate all the positive moments in your dating and relationship journey. Early Bird Discount Expires 17th March 2024: Level Up In LoveResources mentioned:This Simple Concept Will Help You Date with ConfidenceThe Confidence KitThe Confidence CourseBuild Body ConfidenceGet Involved!You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Follow The Date with Confidence Podcast on Instagram + follow your host Rebecca Hawkes here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I recently saw a video come up on my TikTok feed that sparked a bit of a fire within me and really made me want to record this episode for you. This video was all about psychological tricks to make a man fall in love with you. Now sometimes I see shit like this online and I'm like very indifferent to it, couldn't really care less, I'm open to so many different points of view but this made me annoyed because I don't want a man to fall in love with me because of psychological tricks I've used I don't want a man to love me based on a strategy or based on secret techniques or based on tools that I've learned from the internet. I want a man to fall

in love with me because of who I am. Welcome to the Date With Confidence podcast, a place to come for dating advice, support and stories that'll either fill you with hope or relief that your dating experience wasn't as bad as it could have been. With practical episodes that'll provide you with easy to implement tips to help you feel confident AF on your next date, alongside lighthearted catch-ups where your host Rebecca, that's me by the way, shares her own experience dating after four years of the single life, you are guaranteed to end each episode feeling less alone in your dating struggles, empowered to never settle again and confident that the best is yet to come. And if it all falls to shit,

there's a special first season dedicated to breakups. You are welcome, my friend. Subscribe, review and share with your single friends. I want a man to fall in love with me because he recognises how funny I am, because he thinks I'm beautiful, because he likes my personality, because we've got good crack, because we have a good conversation. I want a man to love me for who I am, as I am, the end. I don't want to have to try and be a certain way or behave a certain way just to get someone to love me. I would rather stay single for the rest of my life than have to trick someone into loving me. And it really got me thinking because I feel like needing tricks to make someone fall in love with

you or thinking that you need tricks to make someone fall in love with you very much comes from a lack of confidence. It comes from feeling like you're not good enough as you are. And that in itself is pretty heartbreaking. If you feel like you have to learn a trick to get someone to love you, that's because your sense of self-worth isn't there. And that could be for many reasons. It could be based, well, I say it could be, it is most likely based on the way that men have made you feel in the past, on the way that you've been treated, on past relationships, on your upbringing, on so many different factors that have happened to you throughout your life. that's why you feel

like you're not good enough and that's really fucking sad but the good news is you can do something about it so if you feel like you need tricks or you need to learn the psychology or you need to do something specific to get someone to fall in love with you what you really need to do instead is spend your time on building your self-confidence and improving your self-worth. Because when you get to the point where you love and accept yourself for who you are, now that's not to say that you can't be working on yourself at the same time because you can accept where you are and be a work in progress at the same time but when you truly love who you are in the now you don't worry about needing tricks to have somebody someone be attracted to you or to have someone fall in love with you

because you know at your core that you are enough that you are an amazing person, that you have so much to offer someone, that you are valuable and you would add value to somebody's life. So how do you work on building your confidence? How do you work on improving your self-worth? Well you do this by working on the three layers of confidence. Now this comes from the 1990 mindset concept which I talk a lot more in depth about in the podcast episode called this simple concept will help you date with confidence which of course I will link for you in the show notes because I think that's really important I also talk more about the 1990 mindset concept in my free resource the confidence kit again find it in the show notes and it's what my course the confidence

course is based on this is a powerful framework and the third core principle of that framework is this idea that there are three layers of confidence that you need to work on to build, to be confident in yourself every day and in every area of your life. So the three layers of confidence are think confident, act confident and feel confident. Now when we talk about improving your self-confidence and improving your self-worth so that you can love and accept yourself for who you are, we look at the think confident layer being changing your inner narrative to one of self-acceptance and self-love. So instead of feeling like you're not good enough, instead of feeling like you need to lose weight

or you need to look a certain way or you need your hair needs to be a certain way, you need your nails done or you need to change anything about yourself to be desirable, instead of that mindset you transform your inner narrative to one that says I accept myself and I love myself for who I am right now. And you can still be a work in progress. As I said, I am constantly working on myself all of the time. I have been for the last 13 plus years, which is how I've got so many tools inside the confidence course, because I've been using those for the past 13 plus years. But even though I've been working on working myself constantly and even though I am so content with who I am I love every part of myself and I accept every part of myself for 90% of the

time I know that there is still room for improvement but we don't focus on the fact that there is still room for improvement we instead focus on how great we are in this moment of our life so instead of telling yourself I need to be this person or I need to behave like that or I need I will be worthy when I'm this way I will be worthy when I've achieved this in my career I will be worthy when I have this much money in my bank account I'll be worthy when I look like this person on TikTok. Instead of that, you need to change that narrative and go, I am worthy now. I am worthy of the life that I desire. I am worthy of the relationship I dream of. I am worthy of the man that I've been manifesting for years. I am worthy of amazing first dates. I am worthy of matches online. I am worthy of love, genuine love from a man for who I am right now

and you can change your narrative quite simply just by changing the thoughts that you have on repeat so whenever you notice negative thoughts in your mind transforming those and choosing to repeat something different choosing to repeat to yourself I am worthy as yourself, I am worthy as I am. I am worthy as I am. I am worthy of love. I am lovable. I am enough. I am worthy of the relationship I desire. I am lovable. I am enough. I am worthy of the relationship I desire. Over and over and over again. And the more you repeat this mantra to yourself, the more you start to believe it. So what you think you believe and what you believe becomes your reality. If what you think you believe and what you believe becomes your reality. If you tell yourself you need psychological tricks to get somebody to fall

in love with you, guess what? You are going to need those tricks to get someone to fall in love with you because you're not content enough in yourself for someone to naturally fall in love with you. Whereas if you tell yourself the opposite, you'll start to believe that that will become ingrained in your mind to the point where it will become your truth and you'll start to believe that. That will become ingrained in your mind to the point where it will become your truth and you will start to find that love from someone just by being your authentic self. It's important that people fall in love with us as who we are because you don't want to spend your whole life wearing a mask. You don't want to spend your whole life behaving a certain way based on these psychological tricks that somebody's taught you online.

Because it is exhausting. I can tell you from first-hand experience, it is fucking exhausting pretending to be someone you're not. It is exhausting trying to behave in a certain way just to fit in with people. It is exhausting trying to behave in a certain way just to get a guy to like you. It is so emotionally draining and that will impact any relationship that you have. You want to be your authentic self all the time. You want to show your authentic self to the world, to the people that you're dating and the right one is going to fall in love with you for that authentic self. So repeat this new mantra any time you doubt yourself, any time you see a bullshit video telling you you need a psychological trick to get someone to fall in love with you, go back to your mantra, remind yourself you are

enough as you are. I am lovable, I am enough, I am worthy of the relationship I deserve. The second layer, the act confident layer, this is where you do things that naturally make you behave confidently. So do your hair, do your makeup. There's no shame in using those tools to enhance how you feel about yourself. Yes, you want to build up to the point where you're comfortable without makeup. Yes, you want to build up to the point where you are confident in your own skin when you've just woken up in the morning and your hair's a mess and your breath smells and you look like shit because nobody wakes up looking amazing. Yes, you want to get to that place where you can accept yourself in those moments,

but there is no shame in also using tools like doing your hair, applying some makeup, putting on your favourite perfume, wearing an outfit you love to enhance those, enhance how you feel about yourself. Hang out with confident people. Stop hanging out with people who all they do is criticize themselves, judge other women online, have low self-esteem, pinpoint their own flaws, pinpoint your flaws. Don't hang out with those people or try and limit your time with those people if you really, really have to. Hang out with people who are confident in themselves, who compliment themselves, who compliment you. And every time you're complimented, say, thank you. That's it. You don't need to go, oh, thank you. It was so cheap. Or, oh, this old

thing. Or, oh no, but you look so much better than me. Thank you is all you need to say when somebody compliments you. And for the love of God, get off social media. If you are lacking self-confidence, if your self-esteem is low, if you are in this trap of feeling like I'm not good enough, I need these tricks to make someone fall in love with me, get the fuck off of social media. Take a break for a day, take a break for a week, take a break for a month if you can. When you distance yourself from these toxic behaviours and toxic videos that tell you you have to be something else because you're not enough as you are, you will soon start to be able to hear your own opinions again. You'll start to build your own thoughts of yourself. So, I mean, social media is incredible. Don't get me wrong,

social media is incredible, but also there is a massive negative effect of having social media. It makes it so easy for you to compare yourself, for you to listen to bullshit videos like the psychological tricks ones. There are negatives to it so please if you feel like you're not good enough get off social media for a little while. And then the feel confident layer. Visualize yourself feeling confident. There's actually a guided visualization within the confidence kit which you can download for free. Listen to this guided visualization every morning to conjure up feelings of confidence within your body you just need to lay there for five minutes listen to it every single day and it will help you to feel

confident in yourself and as i said the more confident you feel in yourself the more you'll be able to show up as your authentic self the less you're going to feel like you need these psychological tricks accept your body as it is. I have already said I am a work in progress yet I can accept myself where I am. My body isn't the shape if you like. My body isn't looking how I want it to look but I love and accept it how it is right now and I'm not going to criticize myself for being in the position that I am. I can love and accept my body now and you need to learn to love and accept your body now whilst also knowing that if you want to work on it you can. You don't have to but if you feel like you want to improve it you can. I also have a free guided visualization. It's a mirror meditation that you can listen to

to help you build body confidence and this is such a powerful exercise I've been using it myself for the past year because I lost a lot of body confidence when I split up with my ex I really started to judge and criticize my body for a very long time and when it came to dating new men and when it came to having sex again I was very concerned with how my body was looking because it's very different to how it looked in my early 20s when I was single and sleeping around a lot more. I was like, what if people don't find me attractive?

So I've been working on my body confidence a lot for the past year specifically. And the exercise that you can download for free, the build body confidence visualization has helped me so much I do it very regularly I'm not going to say daily because that's bullshit but I do it very regularly to the point where I do I really like my body as it is even though it's not how it used to look and even though I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I've got more veins that you can see now and there are parts of it I've got more stretch marks than i had when i was younger i actually really like my body now which i never thought would be possible but since doing this exercise it has yeah massively increased my body confidence so if you struggle

with body confidence go to that as well and also within the feel confident area practice self-care regularly because when you practice self-care and I'm talking things like having your baths, using your skincare, doing meditation, EFT tapping, energetic practices, doing yoga, taking time to just sit and have a cup of tea, all those kind of glamorous self-care exercises, practice those regularly because you naturally feel more confident when you are taking care of yourself and the more confident you feel in yourself the less you're going to need or the less you're going to the less you're going to feel like you need these psychological tricks that are absolute bollocks so as we close i know this was quite a high, I feel like this is quite a fast paced episode.

And I hope that you will find some value within here that you can now take away. Do download the confidence kit for free. Download the body, the body, the build body confidence visualization. You can also check out the confidence course, which is going to just dramatically change your confidence levels on in every area of your life all those links are in the show notes but before i go i really want to want to hammer this point into you you don't need psychological tricks to make a man fall in love with you you just need to be yourself okay you don't need to pretend to be anyone else you don't need to try and work out the most strategic way to get a guy to think you're attractive you don't need any of that you just

need to be yourself and be comfortable with who you are become confident and comfortable in who you are to your core love and accept yourself as you are right now and that is how someone's going to fall in love with you i can't predict when it's going to happen i can't promise you that you're going to do all this work and tomorrow you're going to meet the love of your life i can't promise you the timeline that it's going to happen on but i do know that when you can fully love and accept yourself for who you are someone is going to fall in love with who you are too and they will appreciate and adore every single part of you physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically. Your one is out there. Don't lose sight of that belief. Your one is out there. You don't need psychological tricks.

You are fucking amazing as you are. I am launching something brand new called Level Up In Love. It is a three month close proximity container with me where we will focus on you dating with confidence, building better boundaries around dating, relationships, help you raise your relationship standards so that you never settle for somebody that you don't deserve ever again and essentially help you manifest the one. There's no set curriculum so so I can't tell you this is exactly what we're gonna cover. It's about whatever you bring to the table. So whatever your issue is, you're gonna bring it to that space

and then we're gonna work on it together. For all the information you need, you can go to rebeccalucyh.co slash love. The link is gonna be in the show notes. There is a special price available until the 17th of March. And after that, it goes up to the regular price repeat after me I am lovable I am enough I am worthy of the relationship I desire and continue repeating that over and over and over again if this has been helpful do let me know you can use the Spotify interact poll or question box to share your feedback on

this episode you can leave your feedback you can go to datewithconfidencepodcast.com slash contribute share your story share whether this helps share your ics ask me questions ask me for advice tell me what you want me to record an episode on just get yourself involved remember no psychological tricks necessary you're. I'll see you in the next one. Thanks so much for listening to the Date With Confidence podcast. I hope you've enjoyed this episode. Subscribe, rate and review and share it with your single friends. Outro Music