The Date with Confidence Podcast - The Energy You Need to Take Into Dating in 2024

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

EPISODE 24: The Energy You Need to Take Into Dating in 2024You’re a 10/10. You always have been, always will be.And in this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I’m sharing practical tips for how to feel like a 10/10 so you can date with confidence and stop settling for less than you deserve.Here are the key topics covered:1. The Barbie Movie Epiphany: Discussing the influence of a particular Barbie movie song lyric that sparked the realisation about the energy we need to be taking into our dating lives.   2. Overcoming Past Insecurities: Opening up about personal experiences and the lingering effects of being rated poorly in a previous relationship, urging you to break free from such negative mindsets.3. Embracing the 10 out of 10 Mindset: Encouraging you to consciously adopt a mindset of self-worth, emphasising that everyone deserves to view themselves as a perfect 10, regardless of societal standards.4. Authenticity and Confidence: Exploring practical ways to embody the 10 out of 10 energy, including positive affirmations, authentic self-expression, and acts of self-love.5. Building Deeper Connections: Discussing the impact of approaching relationships with the confidence of being a perfect 10, fostering authenticity, and building genuine connections with others.6. Self-Care Practices: Highlighting the importance of self-care, from physical well-being to mental health activities, reinforcing the idea that taking care of yourself contributes to the 10 out of 10 mindset.7. Facing Negativity Head-On: Encouraging you to challenge negative thoughts and external judgments, and to confidently assert your self-worth in all aspects of life.As the podcast concludes, I encourage you to radiate authenticity, embrace your uniqueness, and carry the empowering energy of being a 10 out of 10 into every relationship and situation you encounter in 2024 and beyond.Get Involved!You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  ResourcesThe Breakup Bounce BackAttract on the AppsThe Confidence KitThe Confidence CourseGet weekly-ish updates, exclusive offers and access behind the scenes gossip when you become a podcast insider.Visit The Date with Confidence website here.Follow The Date with Confidence Podcast on Instagram + follow your host Rebecca Hawkes here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, about Barbie. on your next date alongside light-hearted catch-ups where your host Rebecca, that's me by the way, shares her own experience dating after four years of the single life. You are guaranteed to end each episode feeling less alone in your dating struggles, empowered to never settle again and confident that the best is yet to come. And if it all falls to shit there's a special first season dedicated to breakups, you are welcome my friend. friend subscribe review and share with your single friends not even about barbie one of the songs that's come from the barbie movie i don't even know why am i not prepared i should have i should have looked up who actually sings here i think nikki minaj is on it and some other people but there is a line that goes I'm a ten so I'm pulling a ken right oh god I'm gonna die editing this but that line that line I love it like I absolutely love it it is like my favourite

line of a song for I don't even know how long and I don't know if it's just catchy or whether it's the sentiment behind it but it is the reason that this podcast episode is happening because it got me thinking we should all feel like a 10 all of the time in my previous relationship in my last relationship specifically I did not feel like a 10 my ex told me I was a 4 out of 10. And I know, I know that this was a joke. I know he said it as banter. I know it was like, it was even before we were together. It was when we were friends. We used to take the piss out of each other all the time. I know it was a joke.

I know that. But when someone tells you you're a 4 out of 10, this shit sticks. This stuff sticks on your mind and I think that subconsciously I felt like that throughout my entire relationship like not even subconsciously like consciously I did feel like that throughout my entire relationship I felt like he was better than I was in every aspect I thought he was fitter I thought he was like, he had more friends, people liked him more. I felt like he was more outgoing. I just felt like he was up here and I was down here. And I don't know whether that comment of like, you're a four out of 10 played a part in that. But I will not be going into any

other relationship or situation ship or dating with it in mind that I'm a four out of 10. From now on, I'm going into every situation, every relationship, every date, with the view that I am a 10 out of 10 in all areas. Now I don't care what anybody else thinks, whether they would mark me as a four out of 10 or a 10 out of 10 or a 5 out of 10 or I don't care from my own perspective I am a 10 out of 10 and you from your perspective are a 10 out of 10 you have to believe that about yourself that's the energy you want to go into

your relationships about and yeah okay we've all got room for improvement we're all a work in progress we're all continually building to be better and healing ourselves and just getting that little bit better every day but when you go into a relationship any type of relationship it doesn't even have to be a romantic relationship but when you enter a conversation or you enter a space or you enter an environment with the energy of I am 10 out of 10, which essentially means I am enough, I am whole, there is nothing missing from me, I'm not broken, I am good enough as I am in this moment, with the full knowledge that you're going to get better and better and better as you get older, when you enter the situation with that energy, you can just fully be yourself. You don't have to try and please people. You don't have to fit yourself into the mould of what you think people are expecting

of you. You don't have to try and be anyone else to impress someone you impress people by being your 100 self because you know you're a 10 out of 10 and if that person doesn't see you and expect and accept you and respect you as your whole 10 out of 10 self that person's not for you whether it's a friendship a relationship a whatever else a ship that it doesn't matter you want to show up as your full self all of the time because that's how you create deeper connections with someone if you're always putting on a mask every time you meet someone or every time you spend time with someone if you you're putting on a mask, you're not allowing them to get to know you. So in your subconscious mind, you're saying they like me

because they think this about me. They like me for the person they think I am. They don't love me for me. And to a certain extent, that's true because you've not shown them who you are. You've not allowed yourself to be who you are because you're concerned about what they may think so how do you get into this mindset that you're a 10 out of 10 three things that you need to do to believe that and to fully accept and love yourself as you are and you can be a work in progress and you can love yourself as you are right now the two things can happen simultaneously you can know that you're a work in progress and love where you are right now but let's get into the mindset stuff how do you get into the mindset that you are a 10 out of 10 and you can pull a ken i'm joking you don't have to pull a ken you can pull another barbie if you

want to you can pull whoever you want how to get anyone you want get into this mindset that you are a 10 out of 10 so first of all it starts by telling yourself i am a 10 out of 10 and this is gonna feel uncomfortable as shit if you are so used to pinpointing your flaws to focusing on the things you're not happy about to talking negatively to yourself which we all do by the way we all talk negatively to ourselves I do it and I've been working on my confidence for the last 12 years it still happens where I have to catch those negative thoughts but if that's what you tell yourself all the time that's what you're going to think so instead you start telling yourself I'm a 10 out of 10 and it's uncomfortable and you don't believe it and it feels weird and you feel embarrassed that somebody might know

that you're telling yourself you're a 10 out of 10 and they might judge you for that but they're not important whatever you tell, you start to believe. And whatever you believe becomes a reality. So you start to walk into situations where you feel like a 10 out of 10. You connect with people on a deeper level. You say no to the shit that doesn't feel good. You learn to respect yourself even more than you ever have before. You learn what you will and won't stand for.

You don't make excuses for people. You stop settling for less than you actually deserve. It's great. So start telling yourself every single day, I'm a 10 out of 10. Every time you walk past a mirror, I'm a 10 out of 10. Hi 10, hi 10. You play the Barbie song,

where it says I'm a 10 so I'm pulling again. Even if you don't wanna pull again, you play that song to yourself over and over again. You start to get into that energy of, I'm a 10 out of a fucking 10. And then you act like a 10. So if you think to yourself, would a 10 walk into a room

and be concerned with people looking at them? Would a 10 walk into a room and worry about saying something stupid in a circle of people? Would a 10 walk into a room and spend the whole evening thinking am I saying the right thing am I looking right did I just make a mistake have I embarrassed myself no they'll just show up as who they are and people can accept them or not and there's also other practical ways that you can

act like a 10 things like the way that you walk the way that you talk the way that you dress the way that you interact with other people. This is about being a 10 as an overall. This isn't just about like physically looking and feeling like a 10. This is also about believing that you're intelligent enough, believing that you're kind enough. It's not about having an arrogant I'm better than everyone else energy. This is about you being whole as a person and being the absolute best person that you can possibly be. And in that respect, you're kind to the people you meet. No matter you come across you're kind you smile you treat other people with respect that's what makes you a 10 so you act in that way as well you wear things that feel really really good and that doesn't mean that you have to dress up and

wear heels and dresses and do like full-blown makeup every day it's you wear what feels good to you and what's authentic to you all the time and you know that no matter what you put on your body you're still a fucking 10 and then when it comes to feeling you treat yourself in a way that makes you feel like a 10 in your body you give yourself plenty of time to rest to soak in the bath, to get your hair done, to get your nails done, to meditate, to practice yoga, to visualize yourself being a 10 and living in that 10 energy. You go for massages, you do EFT tapping, you go to therapy, you do whatever makes you feel good inside. You look at your nutrition, you drink lots of water, whatever makes you feel amazing, that's what you do. And

you remind yourself every day that you are whole, you feel amazing that's what you do and you remind yourself every day that you are whole you are amazing you can be a work in progress and love where you are right now and then every single time your brain tells you that you're not a 10 you tell it to shut the fuck up and say oh yeah actually i am and every single time someone makes you feel like you're less than or you worry about what other people are thinking, you remind yourself, I'm a 10. I'm a 10, so I'm pulling a 10. I can't help it. I just can't help it.

I fucking love that sentence. So, fellow 10, go out there, show the world your beautiful, unique, quirky, intelligent, individual, amazing, 10 self, be authentic, and don't care about what anyone else thinks. And take that energy into every single person, every single situation, every single relationship that's about to happen. Because that is how you're going to build those deeper connections with people. That's how you're going to find your person. They're waiting for you, they want you, they're looking for you just as much as you're looking for them. And they are going to know as soon as they meet you that you are the 10 they have been waiting for just like you'll know they are the 10 you've been waiting for i'll see

you in the next one thanks so much for listening to the date with confidence podcast i hope you've enjoyed this episode subscribe rate and review and share it with your single friends. you