The Dating Detectives - 2: Mr. Audi: F*** Fast

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

This week Mackenzie and Hanna bring you the story of one dog fish whose multiple year long con with three different women was brought down by one simple Facebook post. Mackenzie and Hanna talk to these three women about what they went through, and how being dog fished by the same man made them lifelong friends. ***The following Program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following Program is provided for entertainment purposes only and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support.***See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following program contains names, places, and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7-233 for support. Hi, Hannah. Hey, girl.

How are you? It's good to see you again. Oh, my God. You look so cute. I know it's a podcast, but just now, McKenzie looks hot. Listen, the messy bun is my jam, 100%. Always. Well, I want to hear the update from our last story.

What happened to Kat? Can you tell us? Is it a happy ending? It is. Your romantic heart is going to be so happy. Oh, yay. Okay. How's Kat?

How's Kat? Okay. So her mom. has started dating a really nice guy. She totally ditched this other fella who was clearly a dog fish, like not the guy he said that he was. For anybody that didn't listen, you have to go back and listen. But if you're a widow, you should definitely go listen. Yeah. Because he's out there. But I'll have you know. Instead of finding her new beau online, she actually found him in her little community that she lives in. And so it just worked out really perfectly. Oh, so they could also,

vet him and they had some others who knew who he was. That's good. Totally. And now they can just like ride golf carts over to each other's houses. That's really sweet. Aw, happy ending. I know. I thought it was really great.

I thought you'd be happy to hear that. I am. I really am. Thank you. Yay. Good for her. I love when I can give you the happy endings because some of them are not so happy. But this one was great.

So I'm excited for it. I think she learned her lesson though for sure about like giving information online about being a widow and just putting yourself out there, making yourself a little too vulnerable. Unfortunately, it is the world we live in. But thank goodness for her daughter. And now she's happy. So that's great. And thank goodness for you, girl.

You're welcome. We are not alone today. I'm so excited today. We're doing something a little different. I'm so excited. Are you guys ready? Like Hannah said, something totally different. We're excited to talk to you about.

Yeah. So our producer, Molly, shout out to Molly. has been reading through every submission that y'all have sent us. We have an email and Instagram and so many of you have stories. We want to get to all of them. But she was like, you have to talk to these three girls. So McKenzie and I don't know the story that we're about to hear. These three girls are going to come on and anonymously tell us how they dealt with a scam dogfish situation. I'm so excited to hear their story. I know. I'm like a little nervous because I know. I Me too.

Molly was like, we need to make this happen right away. I was like, what did they go through? But I'm excited to hear what you think about it because you're, yeah, you're going to give them your PI perspective. My investigator mind is going crazy. I know, I know. Okay, so let's do it. Let's get a little story time.

Hello, thank you for coming on the pod. Hello. Hey, ladies. Hello, thank you for having us. Oh, my God. we're dying to hear the story. Give us the tea. We need the dirt. Tell us what happened. Set the scene.

So I met Chris online on Facebook because we had a mutual friend. And we started talking on and off. Then we started dating shortly after. And this was in February. By April 22nd, we were married. So I have to give you a little backstory because I'm not like crazy, right? So before I met Chris, they had pout a lump in my breast. It was benign.

But the entire experience was just super scary. I imagine. So I met him shortly after that. And he was there. In my head, my thought process was, you only live once. Like, let's enjoy this. So met him, started dating, and then got married April 22nd. In June, his daughter came to live.

with us. How old is his daughter? 17. Cool. There was this box in her closet that I would have never found had she not said that's dad's box of important stuff. And I thought, oh, okay. So eventually, I go through the box and there's like a good four, five marriage certificates. He told me he had been married twice before. So we see four other women on marriage certificates, right?

Meanwhile, he told me that he's been married. Yes. I'm not kidding you. I'm like white number, I think, six. Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah. He's a busy man.

And also inside this box was the car title to the Porsche that he was driving, right? Wait, like an actual Porsche? Like this was a, we've seen this Porsche. We know that it's a port. Okay. We have bad experiences. A running theme of scamming men who have cars that they don't actually have. And whose name was the Porsche in?

She is actually in this group, too. That is Julie. So the Porsche was in only her name? No, the Porsche was in both their names. Chris and Julie have a Porsche together. I'm trying to make like a family tree. Okay, go ahead. So I find all these documents, right?

I find basically two of the other girls, right? Now, Julie, because her name was on the porch, I had a huge problem, right? So I asked him about it. Yeah. He's like, his story is at one point, I guess something had happened with them and she owed him money. So she signed with him for the Porsche. That's why her name was on the Porsche. Kind of like she bought it for him because she owed him money?

Yes. Okay. So we've got a lot of new names floating around in your brain from this box. Yeah. I mean, it's insane, the amount of names. I need a bigger notebook. Yeah. This was basically June.

July, we take a couple of trips. By this time, his stories just kept getting like bigger and bigger and crazier, right? So I was planning my escape, but between October and December, we had been doing marriage counseling, you know, trying to make things work for his daughter. So New Year's Eve, we go out, we celebrate New Year's Day. I post pictures and made my Facebook page public. I did it that time because something, like, told me this, like, let's just, since we're going all out, let's go all and up, right? So I post it. I make my page public. Instantly, Julie messaged me. And that's how I found out the truth about the Porsche. I found out the truth about. What is the truth about the Porsche? Yeah. Well, the truth was they were in a relationship. The first week of January, I found out about Julie.

The 9th, January, I had filed for divorce. Slash. I think that's a slight. Okay, can we hear from Julie? So just to recap for the audience, we just heard from Stacey about her marriage to Chris and how it all fell apart after she made her Facebook public, and Julie slides into her DMs all willy-nilly to tell her the truth about her husband. Now we're going to hear from Julie about how and why she messaged Stacy that to.

day. Hi, Julie. Hi. We're dying to hear what you have to say. Stacy hasn't even touched a third of it. Oh, yeah. My relationship with Chris, I have known him since high school, known of him, I guess. We weren't, like, friends or anything. And then he reached out to me in April of 2021.

We quickly started talking daily. He's a very flashy type person. He has shoes and he has cars and he goes on vacations and those are the things that kind of draw you into him. And so, yeah, we started dating and by June of 2021, we were in a relationship. He met my children. His children, things were progressing as if it was a normal thing. We were going to move in together and we were working all those things out at the same time where we're working on things like, oh, well, if we want to go on vacations, then we should open up these type of credit cards. that gave me points and things like that.

And, you know, let's set up vacation. And then things would just keep coming up. Hey, I need money for this. Hey, I need money for that. Let's open up this. Let's do that when I met him. He had three Audi. Oh, he loves an Audi.

And then he was saying he wanted to get a Porsche and he asked, would you mind coinciding so I can get it. Was the intent for you guys to share the car? Yes. Like we were moving in together. we were going to have cards. Just so I can paint this picture. Are you someone with means who has a lot of money and he, like, targeted you specifically,

you think? No. Did he? No. Okay. It's not that I have a lot of money. I just had good credit. Okay.

That makes sense. Yeah. And then back forward to March and April of 2022, we went to Maldives. And in Maldives, he had a conversation with his daughter's mother that she, Wait, when in 2022? I caught that too. Oh, yeah. We went to Maldives in April of 2022.

We got married to week. Yeah. So I didn't find out until Stacey and I talked. But yeah, he got married the week after we came back from Aldi. And he'd been dating. Where did you? We were in a cold blow relationship. We did not physically break up until.

until May of 2020. I saw pictures of her and I asked him who she was. So this is the story I got. Stacey is a friend of mine that has a stalker, a legit stalker that's showing up. And she asked me as a friend, if I, mind if she posted a couple pictures of us together,

like at events or anything like that, just to give the stalker to show them that she now moved on. She's with. someone, she has someone around her, things like that. I asked him multiple times. If you were in a relationship with her, just tell me because from May to December, we were not in a relationship, but we were still friends with benefits. Okay. Okay. So you guys are literally, your timelines are parallel when he's married to Stacey and has a relationship with you. Right. Why did you break up

in May. He was basically saying he was going to take the other job that was in another city further away. And that with his daughter coming, he just was like, I don't know if I'll be able to give you the same amount of time. And also, you know, this is definitely a full-time job, 100%. Right. And, you know, come to find out, you know, the rest of it. Like, what about the daughter? Obviously, she sees what's going on. I met her the year before. I didn't get a chance to see her when she moved in with him. Because obviously. obviously, he kept me away from her. So when I would go see him,

we would feel like public places, like, let's go out to lunch or I'm at your job or things like that. It was never at the house anymore. All of the financial side of it were things that were just coming up over time. Hey, can you help me fix an Audi? Hey, can you loan me $400? I get paid on Monday. He asked me to invest in a school.

He was going to open. I was putting the vacations on credit with, and saying, hey, you know, as soon as I get this or that, I don't have loans coming, I'll get you money. It was never, like, malicious. You have to pay for this. It was just like, you know, hey, I got you next time. Would there be times when he would follow through and other times where he might not? Like, did you see?

Yeah, because in the beginning, he had to pay the payments on a lot of these things because I didn't have it. Like, I have my own bills down here. So, yeah, he would. But then he would just stop. Hey. Did he legit have a job? job? Oh, yeah, he had a job. So did y'all, like, nobody knew where he worked or where he didn't, like, if he's just using his job as an excuse? We know where he worked. Yeah. He had two while I knew him. I was, went to a job. Yeah. So we get to December, and all of a sudden he hit me with another story that he was behind on child support and that he was going to go to jail. And he was, and I'm like, listen, you have a lot of high roll of friends. You got to ask somebody for money. He was trying to bait.

me to give him the money so that he wouldn't go to jail. So the following week, Stacey posted pictures of them and in her caption, it said the year 2022 in review. We got married in April. We went to multiple vacations. She listed the vacations out. She was like, what whole 2023? It's going to bring me. So I reached out to her. Here I come. It took her two days to get back to him. And of course, had already talked to Chris. And Chris, he's like, I don't know, we got into a fight. She did that to be read or something like that. And I said, well, why would she do that if you're doing her a favor? Like, of course, it didn't make sense. She finally hits me up and says, please call me. And I'm like, oh, I didn't mean to call. I didn't mean to say anything. She's like, no, three five.

She basically was like, who are you? I saw your name on this car. And I said yes. So then, of course, that whole story that he gave her was a complete lie because I'm over here spitting the money out for him and then I told her, well, this is what he's telling me about you. One of the first thing that's then was, is he in court for child support or going to jail? And she was like, no. She was coming home for a week and a half and would be at the house. I was going to say, that was to keep me away. And to get my money.

We talked all day that first day. We went through the timeline and she had all that information and all those papers. And she wanted to know, well, who owns this and who owns that? And that's when we got the name of Stephanie, whom I reached out to. And then Stephanie comes in. What was Stephanie's name on? Like, how did we come up with Stephanie's name? She was on his 8-8.

Audi. And that was one of the documents found in the box? Yeah. Oh, we're in terms. trouble. All right. So now we've heard from Julie about her harrowing journey with Chris up until we find a woman named Stacy on yet another Audi. So Stephanie, can you tell us your side of the story? How did you end up in this whole messy web? I'm just sitting here laughing because this isn't even everything. I need so many questions answered. I like that we're also, we're learning the info

in like the order like basically that Stacy you figured. Let's then. you got to talk to Julie and you got more information and you got to talk to Stephanie and you got more crazy information. I mean, I'm sure this was like a terrible in the moment discovery. So I met Chris online on Match in October of 2017. He told me he was separated and he was getting a divorce in a month and that was going to be his only marriage, meaning I didn't know about the other divorces. And at that point, how many other divorces? just all of them Hannah all of them this was all by 2017 he'd already have six marriages

five okay got it got it got it he's collecting little marriages and by 2017 he meets you Stephanie so we started dating on November when we became more serious we saw each other somewhat sporadically I would say probably because he was having trouble keeping up with everyone I have also since found out that there were at least three other women. He was dating at the same time as me. How does he sleep at me? Exactly. He met my family. He flew to visit my family in the Midwest with me for my mom's birthday. And throughout this time, I also was wanting him money because he had told me he loved me and we were going to be together.

Yeah. Serious. Yes. Like Julie, he had told me he was going to prison for not paying child support. I did not have the money, but my sister owned him the money. Then in beginning of 2019 in January, he did not have, he only had one car then, which most of us only have one car, but he was selling it, he said, and had bad credit and needed me to buy him a car, which is where the Audi A6, no, eight comes in. This episode is not sponsored by Audi, although we would be. Yeah. The car for if you need to like, I don't know, what's a good slogan for needing to get away to your next affair?

Can I use the F word? I would say fuck fast. Audi. Fuck fast. So you buy him an outy. When someone says, will you buy me this car? Like, is there any like, I don't know. Like, I don't trust this.

Or are you like, yeah, honey. Of course. Like, what's that? How does, what goes into that? How did you build that trust? Yeah. There's a lot, for me, a lot of trepidation of, is this true? Is he actually going to pay? What happens if he doesn't? But he always would make you feel like if you didn't do it, there was something wrong with you. Yeah. That's gaslighting. Yep. And he assured me he would make the payments, but just he didn't have good credit. and needed someone to be the name on the car. He did make payments for a few years, actually,

not always on time, actually rarely on time. And with a lot of pushing and prodding for me, he eventually defaulted on it in 2022. We dated for a while, and eventually, I don't even know exactly when, but sometime in 2019, I kind of, I don't know if I gave him an ultimatum necessarily, but was like, this isn't going anywhere. It needs to end.

And we stayed in contact until January of this year when I got the message on Instagram from Julie asking if I knew him and how I knew him. Oh, my God. We stayed in touch mostly because of the car, but also any type. I tried not to be in touch with him, he would get very upset. And you will always be part of my life, just very manipulative. So it was easier just to stay in touch with him than to not. Not that this is the exact same situation, but isn't it so annoying how you have X's or whatever it is? And you're just like, it's easier for me to just appease this person and just be nice rather than have to.

That's exactly what she said. Yeah. Yeah. It was easier to just go with it. Yeah, and that makes you sense. There's like a fear. There's a, I totally get that. And he would ask a lot, do you miss me? And I always said yes, because he'd get mad if I didn't. And I'm the type of person. I don't like confrontation. I don't like conflict. So it was easier for me to just say, yep, I miss you. And did you see him at all between 2019 and January? We did. We would see him. We would see him.

each other sporadically not dating or even friends with benefits at that point. So in January of this year, I got the message from Julie that just said, hey, do you know Chris and how do you know him? And I said that we had dated. She asked if he owed me money. I said he did. And so we ended up talking. And then eventually we all ended up on a phone call together that lasted a couple hours, I think. When we began our FBI, CIA. What happens once you're all together and you're piecing everything together and you're realizing everything's out in the open? What happens next?

It was a lot. Even before that, though, it was a lot of information that we all took names and reached out to those people. Everybody took a name, whether it was a wife or it was a girlfriend or it was this person or that person. and we literally started compiling all of the history of the past 20 years. What's the number of people who he has involved in this charade? I think we have found at least 10, didn't we mean?

Yeah. Between ex-wives. Between the wives and the baby mom and the girlfriend. So what was true about him? It's true about him is he does this to every single girl. Yeah, except I'm going to say that there's some exceptions, right? I'm going to say, to my knowledge, right? The last three wives have been somewhat spared other than the embarrassment. He cheated on us.

He obviously lied to us, right? Right. He didn't take money from them. Yeah. And I think he just gets off on being with women and using them. This is someone who 100% he needs to tell. engine. Yeah. As Julie was saying, we did lots of investigative work. We had, I would say, nightly phone calls, right ladies, for hours, talking and going through timelines, comparing

stories, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, and trying to just figure out what we were going to do next. None of us wanted to let him get away with this. And unfortunately, has he done anything like illegal? That's a good question. That's a good question. We did talk to a lawyer. We can file civil charges, but it would cost us a lot more money and a lot of time. We can file criminal charges because some of the money he asked us for he did not use for

what he said he would. So that is fraud. I can't ask you for $5,000 to spend on fixing my car and you give it to me and I it for something else. You can, you can sue me. I had no idea. That was a thing. There are so many people I know that need to be charged right now. So there's been a couple women who have sued him. We found the paperwork for and it was found in their favor because he didn't show, but they haven't gotten any money because he doesn't. Well, of course not. He doesn't have a job. Yeah. Or he doesn't have the money or they kind of made it sound like they had to, even though it was found in their favor,

they would have to go after him to actually get the money. And the one girl, you know, just, it was during COVID. She said it wasn't worth it. And I think the other one kind of said the similar thing, like we with the job hopping as well. Yeah. And the moving. You can't serve someone if you don't know where they're at. Well, it's really hard to find people to begin with, much less someone who jumps around so much.

I have to deal with that all the time. And trying to find people is really hard. It's like literally the hardest thing ever is to figure out where they're laying their head at night on a permanent basis. Well, McKenzie, we can help you out because we've basically become detectives. And we've got some skills. I know. You guys should get like some kind of certificate. kid or something. But there's more. I feel like one of those infomercials. But wait, there's I'm listening. I'm up all night. Let's go. Daph and her great skills found out that there are

Facebook groups called Are We Dating the Same Man? I part of that podcast. She posted him and from there it snowballed even more. No. Oh my God. So women Women came to Stephanie and told her, you know, their relationships with them. And then we found out about the professional side that he was, he was a professional. Like he would job pop because he couldn't, well, he couldn't provide his credentials. And one woman told me that her job, I don't even know what it was, a client complaint to the owner saying, Chris didn't sound like he knew what he was talking about. It sounded like he was reading from a website.

So they did some research and apparently they figured out that he had bought his degrees. I guess you can do that. A dime a dozen. It's fine. So he, I mean, in the time that I've known him, he's worked at three or four places. And we think it's because people find out that he doesn't actually know what he's doing. Yeah. And he gets fired.

So he's a pro he's a con man in all departments. I'm also just like I wish I knew if you know I want to know what he was doing for living because I was like imagine like a doctor looking up on Wikipedia and just being like yes, I am a doctor, an academic title that originates from the Latin word of the same like sound. Don't you imagine. Oh my God. Stephanie.

Tell them about the other lady who was talking about the post from 10 years ago. This blog that was 10 years ago that someone had started to try to expose him, but he found out about it and threatened to sue and it got shut down. Oh, boy. Yeah. Who knows if he actually had a real lawyer? He probably didn't. No, he's probably a lawyer himself.

I mean, he probably is actually. Of course. He has that online degree. Yeah, so we have found some interesting stories about him from many other women. Oh my God. Just co-workers, Beyonce's ex-girlfriends, other women, he owes money too, I mean. Yeah, I was going to imagine there's some very unfinished money exchanges between all of you and all these other people, which sucks. And we can't even imagine how many are out there that we don't even know about.

Right. Right. I can't even imagine. How many outies have been purchased for this man? All of them. Exactly. I feel so terrible that there are people out here, so many people out here doing shit like this all the time. But we always learned so much. And you are now literal PIs.

You are, unfortunately, had to learn way too much about protecting yourselves from scammers. I mean, I am curious if, like, you had. I mean, I'm a, I'm dating. What's, how do I not date Chris? How do I not date Chris? Like, which is not on us. It's not on us. Like, these people are out there and we are the victims. But still, it's like, what can we learn from these horrible experiences is kind of my question. So I actually just had this conversation with Julie about what we have learned or what our takeaways are from our trauma from the last 12 months for me in the last like two years for her. You have.

to know your value. Like, as women, like, I don't care how much money you make. I don't care what you have going on. I don't care what you look like. You have to internally know how much you are worth to you before anybody else can put a price debt on there.

Right? So once you get that and you know that, people like Chris, when they come around, you're just like red black number one, right? Red black number two. Like, this is not going to work. Like, this is,

I don't want this five years from now, let alone five days for now. So, like, just stop calling me. And end it really quickly because they prey on you giving them chance after chance after chance, right? Absolutely. It doesn't even have to be with money. It could literally be just with your time and with your energy. Some jerks like Chris, specifically for me, they feed off your energy, right? Like, we used to hang up all the time, and I just made him look good.

And I am worth way more than that. I don't care. Absolutely. Deep right you are. Oh. That's just my takeaway. Julie, where are you at now? This has definitely been eye-opening and traumatic for all of us.

And I think us talking through it for the entire month of January and into probably February was therapeutic. I'm sure for all of us, like Stephanie was saying, you know, everybody. kind of had to have their time to process it because this was so much information. And like, you ladies are hearing it now, but we were literally getting it day by day by day. And we still are today. I talk to Stacey and we find out stuff to this day. We're still finding it out. So, you know, going through all of that and understanding what happened, what our part in it was, what his part in it was and, you know, what to look for in the future, you know, and pray that we don't ever find anybody else that's like this again.

What about you, Stephanie? So I have been dating someone since the end of last year. It hasn't been easy. He knows about Chris and everything that happened. And while he is supportive, he also is very aware that I'm guarded and cynical. The trust has gone. I am very guarded and that's hard for him. So it is something we are working on.

But it is hard for me to trust. I see red flags and everything, even if they're not real. So, yeah, it's been hard. I do love, and I've said this before, that when I met Stacey, when I met Julie, none of us blamed each other. none of us called each other out or there was never any animosity, I feel like, or anger towards each other, which is amazing. I remember one morning laying in bed talking on the phone to Stacey, and I just kept thinking, I'm talking to Chris's wife right now on the phone, like, while I lay in bed,

this is weird. But it just became normal that we were there to support each other. Yeah. And that we have found this a friendship through our trauma. I love this song, Beautiful Liar by Shakira and Beyonce. Do you y'all know that? Yeah, it's like the two women who are like, wait a second, we're bonded. I remember the day that I found out most of the stuff, Julie was on the phone with me. And like I couldn't breathe. That's how bad it hurts.

And now Julie doesn't know this, but she's like my forever friend. But at the same time, you have to understand, and Stacey said it many times, like, this is not normal. Like somebody like this is not normal. And hopefully we will never come across it again. And at some point, you have to be willing to open your heart and trust again. My thing is tell your next boyfriend or partner, you know, tell them that, you know, there's going to be times where I need reassurance. There's going to be times where I, you know, don't trust that you were at the gym for three hours.

You know what I'm saying? Like there's just those times where something may trigger you. And unfortunately, you just need the reassurance that, yes, I was at the gym. This is what happened. You know what I mean? I'm all about like the idea of giving your partner the toolbox to like be the best partner for you and like communicating exactly what you need and also not shaming yourself for what you need and never feeling like you know too much because that's so excited.

Stephanie that hopefully whoever you're dating is awesome. And the right partner said who we deserve is somebody who's going to understand the situation and be like, yep, whatever you need. Like whatever reassurance you need, whatever explanation, support. And then you get to do it too. You have more empathy for their, whatever their baggage is. You all have something. Being a private investigator, I've dealt with this so many times with so many different scenarios. And even with myself, I went through it so much that when I met my husband, I was like, screw this guy. Like, I'm going to treat him. Like, I've been treated. And it took so much

of that. Like, whenever his phone would, he would get a text, like, I would get anxiety, like, could not breathe. Like, this is it. This is the one. Like, this is another girl. And he would be like, oh, this is my friend John. Let me tell you about him. And every, like, everything that was scary to me, he made sure it was clear. He knew that that was like a trauma thing for me because it happened so much. And so once you're, once you're so damaged by that, it's really hard to overcome that. So I really hope that you guys find peace in your heart and just know that you deserve so much better than that. Well, and I wonder if he's feeling any of this. Like it always makes me wonder, like, what is, is he like, oh, well, that's it. I guess like, he had to expect it at some point. So was he

prepared for it? Does his heart break? Like, I wouldn't know that like he's sad crying in a closet. So yes, he hit rock bottom, but his ego won't allow him to probably sit in those feelings for long. Rock bottom is a trampoline for some people. Yeah. He's still portraying that he's good, that he's out here and he still has money and he's on to, he was driving the next car and now he's on to a second car. And we're going, where are you getting all this from? But we know it's the next supply he is gearing up for the next one, two, three, four women. He's the victim here in his mind. Absolutely.

Were there red flags that maybe you skimmed by or was everything just seemed for real legit? My friend Tracy put this perfectly. She says, Stacy, did you think all of the red flags meant that it was a party going on? Like, explain this to me, right? Like, no, it was not a party. I thought when a man asks you for help or large amounts of money, you're thinking, oh, we're building something together. We're doing this together.

He needs me. I can help. I was like making words. Yeah. He made it seem like we're building something together. You know, we're building our credit. We're going to build our future together. But yeah, 100% the red flags would be asking for any help for anything.

I don't even care if it's a car. couple hundred dollars for a pair of shoes. You know, if you can't buy it, you don't need it. I know it's not as clear as like, hey, could you loan some money? Like, it always becomes something that feels like a partnership. But that to me is where I feel like I'll set a personal boundary. But also, I want to just make it clear that whether or not you saw the red flags or whether or not you chose to ignore them, whatever the case is, it is never your fault when someone treats you this way. It is never your fault when someone does something so disgusting to hurt you. It is never your fault. Regardless, I know so many women who are just like, oh, I should have, I should have did this,

or I should have listened to this intuition or whatever. It's never your fault. Meeting these ladies has also helped with that because I did feel a lot of shame and the choices I made and- Shame. That's a good word. Shame. Yeah, I felt very ashamed. And my sister, were the only ones who knew about it, that he owed me money, that they knew about the car, that was it. But then meeting Julie and Stacey and then and then all these other women too, like, it made me realize this isn't my fault. I don't need to be ashamed. And I've told many people this story now. Yeah. No one said to me like, I can't believe you did that. You know, they've all been very supportive of what happened. Well, I'm going to defend Chris. He did one thing

right, and that was have weirdly good taste. It does have great taste. The last little bit from me is one of our biggest things that we wanted out of this. It wasn't originally to get back at him, right? It was to make sure that this doesn't happen to any other woman. That's literally why we wanted to like have just a place for these stories to obviously, they're wild and entertaining. But at the end of the day, it's all about recognizing that we need to trust ourselves.

Thank you for coming on to share this because I know it's the tough. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it seems like it would be so hard. And it sounds like you guys went through a whole lot. And it sounds like you're still healing from it. And you just, you deserve the best. You really do.

Thank you. Anyone listening who's maybe in a relationship where they've had something in the past that makes them ask for more reassurance or anybody who's, thinking about red flags and they're, you know, just listening to us. Let these people and all of us be a reminder that you should trust your gut. You should trust your fempt tuition. Trust your fomtuition. If the flag is even like, even if it's like a pinkish or like maybe an orange that could be red,

let's question it just a little bit. Like ask all the questions because the right person is going to answer every single one. Yep. You all deserve the world. And no one deserves Chris. No. You guys, will you keep us updated with any, will you send us an email whenever you have, like, updated information that we can know about your situation? We'd love to stay updated with you guys.

Sure. So, Hannah, what did you think of the episode? That was crazy. I'm so, so grateful that they came on. Like, what do you do? Like, that's so much to unpack. Like, it's a lot, right? It's so much.

But I'm just still not over, like, their community. It's really sweet. I want them to have a, like, a movie. These women really found a way to come together and support one another after it, which I think is really amazing. I think on a small skill, we can all kind of be better about that, even if you're not in a, you know, anybody, like, thinking about someone's ex. I'm so bad at that.

I'm like, so, ew, the X. Like, it's my first thought is to just compare myself to them. And it's obviously a reflection of my own theory, but we can, we can, we can, be a lot more empathetic and loving towards people who maybe share a history with someone or in the case of this episode, an actual boyfriend at the same time. Yeah. Or husband. I'm just glad, yeah, that they've washed their hands of hand. So if you are in a situation or you've been in a situation like this or if you know someone that is actively going through a situation like this and you need us to investigate, send us an email. Investigate at datingdetectivepod.com and we'll get to work.

We'll get to the bottom of it. Make sure you're following us to dating detectives podcast on Instagram. You can message us there, comment. I mean, especially, like we said, if you think you're dated this guy, like, I don't know how many other people he's got out there. There is no telling. Let us know. Yeah, he's on a roll. And if you like our podcast, Make sure to tell a friend or if you just need to drop a hint. Passive aggressive. Hey, listen to this podcast to let them know that you're worried about who they're dating. For anybody who can't see me right now, how I did a fancy wink, like wink, wink, wink, it wasn't.

It's fine. We'll make a video of it. If you like our podcast, tell a friend. And I'm excited to share next week's episode with you. All right, Chally, let's sign it off. Goodbye, my dating detective. Goodbye, my armchair. See you next Monday.