The Dating Detectives - 5: It’s Raining Cat & Dog-fish

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Mackenzie & Hanna sit down with a guest to discuss her treacherous experience with a dogfish who was also a catfish. This is part one of two. Part two will be dropping next Monday, 5/29!�� ***The following Program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following Program is provided for entertainment purposes only and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support.***See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following program contains names, places, and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7-233 for support. Hi, McKenzie. How was your weekend? It's Monday again. I know. Happy Monday, right? Right. We've got it. So wait, you're going to tell us what happened. So I love Mondays,

obviously, because of a new episode. So do you want to hear the update from my client with the husband on the book? Oh my God, absolutely. With his fallacious queen. This was way to spoil it. If anyone didn't listen to last week, I mean, that's actually not a spoiler because like, yes, some dirty things happened on a boat. But like the way we got there was a journey. So go listen to the last episode before you hear this update. So, okay, if you haven't listened, you've left. We're going to spoil it now. So the wife, my client, knew who the woman was. As soon as I said, he went to a neighboring dock to pick up a woman. She's like literally verbatim. She says, that bitch. She knew. And like just like that, I am not exaggerating.

That's exactly what she said. We always know. Because remember how I told you? She said, I have this, but I'm just curious. So the husband of the woman who the client's husband was doing the nasty with on the boat is my client's ex-boyfriend. And so the reet from college, they went to, they went to. Oh, oh, my. Oh, so this is a.

this was a little revenge boat boat fallacio but you remember how i told you that the woman that the client's husband was having an affair with she was divorced from the guy that they used to hang out with as a couple or whatever so yeah the golf the golf buddy right that was my client's boyfriend in college and so she decides that she's going to now connect with him so she calls him up and says, we're going to do a little run. So she gets with him and she takes pictures. And remember how I told you that she's not a social media girl? Uh-huh.

She got on social media long enough to post pictures of her and him together. And this was before she told her fiance that she knew he was cheating. So she takes pictures of herself with her ex-boyfriend, who is the woman's ex-husband, post them on social media so that him and everyone else can see. And they're hanging out. Yes. Her husband, who was on the boat with this woman, yells at her, accusing her of being a cheating biotch and all of these other things just to, just for her to say,

ha, how does it feel you son of a bitch? So is she like basically telling him like, I'm not with him. I want nothing to do with him. Like he is my ex, but screw you. you were with this woman so how does it feel i'm done with you and she kicked him out of the house he's done like they're broken up and that's amazing that's that's such a movie i thought you would love that i knew i was like that woman was like this is my moment and i am taking it so he lost his boat and his hoe i'm sorry oh my god basically okay so

now that you got your fix from last week's episode, are you ready for this insanity? This one's like a, it's like a lifetime movie. Honestly, this story. We have a guest come on. It's going to be our first two part episode because the story was so elaborate and involved. And we also want to let you know that coming up, we are going to go on a little bit of a season break because we want to make all of our future episodes even more perfect for you. So we'll do this episode, part two. I think we're going to throw in a bonus episode, right? Because everybody's been amazing. It's not going to be too long of a break.

It's just going to be a two-week break. I love it. So many people have reached out and been like, wait, why do we have to wait a week in between? And it's because this is a lot of work. But as you all support us, we'll make more and more. So thank you so much. Yes.

So this episode is really crazy. This is the story of a dogfish. And a catfish situation, just keep your pants on. But this is a really great story of how it's really important to trust that fintuition. And I'm glad this person absolutely came on with the intention of sharing what they learned from that experience. So I'm so grateful that they're not only safe and okay. Spoiler, but I want you to know they're safe and okay. And also just like learning and sharing. So big shout out to them. And we do want to let you know there are some trigger warnings about this story.

It talks a little about suicidal ideation, drugs and overdose, stalking, and gun violence. So just be aware that's coming. Let's get into it. I'm ready to share her story. Hi, guys. Hi, thank you for coming. I'm so happy to talk to you guys. We're happy to have you here.

So we have Ashley on the phone and I'm so dying to hear her story. Ashley, tell us every, all the things. Okay, so you just want me to start from the beginning. Go in. Yep. Go for you. Okay, cool. So we are going to go back to about 2019.

I was 29 years old. I had just gotten out of an eight-year relationship. I was 29 years old getting onto a dating app for the first time. I didn't know what to expect. So you got on some apps out of your very long relationship. what apps did you get on? I got on Bumble and Tinder. I'm just going to swipe through

and kind of get my feelings. Like, the more matches I get is a, and I know that this is wrong thinking, but my thinking at the time was the more matches I get, the more desirable I am, you know, and then that way people, I would kind of feel better about myself, which is toxic.

You feel validated. Yeah. It's so real. We have all done it. I've caught myself where I'm like, wait, this like it's a game and not like it's a d-a-nap. You forget that it's a real, real people on the other side and you're just on the toilet. Like, I know. I feel better about myself.

Right. We've all been there. And so I get to about three months out of my relationship and there's this guy on there. And he's handsome enough. One of his pictures was of a bull riding. And that's kind of like my favorite sport, weirdly enough. Oh, my. I love the PBR and like bull riding all that stuff. And so it kind of like caught my eye. And I was like, okay, if this guy can ride a bull, like, that's my favorite thing. That's a man's man right there.

Like, and so I was like swipe right. It's a match. Like, okay, cool. We'll see if this guy messages me back and he does. And I respond and we just kind of start talking back and forth. And he's super, super easy to talk to. And it's just like my personality and a dude. And I'm like, I think this could work.

Eventually, we meet at this bar, pool hall. We hung out. It was great. Then we continued talking. And our vibe is just like, he's just so my personality and I'm so his personality. I've got two dogs. And he had two dogs. It was like we just kept matching everywhere.

And I was like, maybe this guy kind of has my same wants and desires. And we met at the dog park a couple of times, although we only only. brought one dog he didn't bring two and so I'm just kind of like okay where's his dog but no deal we talked for about maybe three weeks and I kept on calling him a safe person because I genuinely felt that he was genuine and honest a lot of people use that for a negative thing you're safe I can fall back on you if this guy doesn't work out I'll just fall back on you safe that's not exactly what it means to me because my prior relationship was with a guy that was addicted to opioids He rapid fire psycho text message me.

I know what you mean by safe. It means that you're just using me and you just want to test the waters, but then you want to come back to me because you know that I'm going to be here and just kind of like went sideways. And I was like, I can either defend myself to him, but I don't owe him anything. So I'm just going to let it go. Not worth your time. Yeah. Not worth my time or my effort.

So I was trying to figure out a nice way to just be like. Hey, you're cool, dude, not really into it. Yeah. And I think he could sense that because at that time, his dog died. The dog I'd never seen before had died. And I just couldn't do that to a person. So I was like, okay, I'm just going to wait. I'm going to wait it out.

I'm just going to try to not hang out with him, whatever. And I was kind of like, okay, I don't like this guy. So I'm just going to read download Tinder, kind of see what's up. I'm swiping, whatever, and swipe right on a guy that I had never seen before on Tinder. And you know, like, if you're on there for a good amount of time, it's just like the same repeat guys. Oh, I know. It's the funniest. I honestly have thought about this where I'm like, I've been on apps and then I'll like get in a relationship, get off the apps, maybe a year later, pop back on, see the people.

I'm like, I almost want to just swipe right and just be like, hey, bud, good to see you. Hope you're doing well. It's like, bud. Right. Yeah, we're in the same pond over here. You've had the same picture for every time I've re-downloaded these apps the past three years. So maybe time to update. Right.

Have you not gotten older? Yeah, for real. That is such a real thing. It's so funny. But it was a new person. His name is Morgan. I'll swipe right on him. It's a match.

Dude is a great looking guy. Like just my type of guy, another like beefy, southern, tall, whatever guy. and he eventually messages me. And he just starts asking like a bunch of random questions like, when was your last kiss? When was your last kiss is a weird question to ask someone on a dating app. Oh, totally. Yeah, it was shocking to me. I was like, I'm not telling you this.

I don't know you. I eventually stopped responding to him. He messaged me like maybe two more times. And then he sends a message of like, okay, full transparency, I swiped on you for a reason. I am friends with Kyle. And I was like, yep, he's a nice enough guy. Like, nothing really bad to say about him because I wasn't going to bash him to his friends. Okay, so Kyle is the guy with the dead dog and Morgan is now the new profile who you've not met in person, but says he's friends with Kyle.

Correct. Okay. I have so many questions. Carry on. So talk to Morgan. And eventually, he kind of takes responsibility. for feeding Kyle that whole idea that I was using him. And he was like, listen, he actually thought the world of you.

It was me that kind of came in and started bashing you and just being like, no, she's just using you. He essentially took responsibility for the whole text message fiasco and apologized for it and was like, you should give him another chance. And I was like, okay, well, up into that text message. we were viving. If this guy is kind of the reason for all of the chaos and he takes responsibility for it, then maybe I'll keep trying with Kyle, who is the guy that I did initially hit it off with

and did kind of, I did until I didn't. But I kind of talked myself out of my own gut instinct in my head. I talked myself out of it. So this person comes in and says kind of what you need to hear in order to be like, okay, maybe that was, I was overreacting. Yes, I was the one that was overreacting. So you ignored your femtitution and fear of making it seem like you were being dramatic. Yes.

Oh, we all been there before. Then Kyle also apologized and he also blamed Morgan for the whole thing. And I was like, okay, well, these two things are adding up. So I give him another chance. Kyle and I go from friends to kind of dating. And then Morgan kind of starts to go on his own little spiral. He thinks he knocks a girl up. Wait, how are you talking to Morgan? Are you on Tinder with him or is he telling Kyle who's telling you? No, I have his phone number. The three of us are at some points in time. We're in a in a group chat together. So just to clarify for the listeners,

you met Morgan. Morgan said, I'm really friends with Kyle and I need to make that clear to you. Do you want to be friends? And then you started dating Kyle again. And then you guys were all just in a group chat together, all willy-nilly. Yes. And every now and then Morgan will reach out to me separately and ask me questions about Kyle. And I'm, I said from the beginning, I'll tell you about me. His business is his business. And I'm going to tell you anything about him. Also, you don't even know him. It's so interesting the way he was working in this friend into your relationship. I'm just thinking about why was he doing that? Like, I guess a manipulation tactic maybe? For sure. It felt to me like the more that I would talk about Kyle, the more he could say good things about him that would influence my

opinion of Kyle. Interesting. Totally. I'm not going to lie. Like that's kind of smart, but also weird, but also smart. I'm not going to like it's. It is.

Yeah. It's smart also because when I first start dating someone, I have to remind myself the first time I'm meeting someone's friends. I always try to check it with myself and be like, don't you're not trying to impress them. You have to make sure you like them too. But it's still so hard to get out of that mindset of wanting to just be someone all their friends like.

I feel like you could totally be in a position where you're just, like, oh, this is somebody I likes best friend. Like, of course I'm going to play nice. I'm going to talk to him. Even if he's like a little weird, I don't want to judge. Like, that makes, you're right, McKenzie. It's smart of him to use that. It really is.

He's like, check out my friend Kyle. So Morgan was going through it, going through potentially becoming a father, going through the loss of his mom. And he was drinking too much. and he requested that Kyle come over so that they could pour out the beers. He was going to get sober. And Kyle was going to help him get sober. Again, touching on a sensitive spot in my heart.

After that night happened with the two of them, Kyle asked if he could come over to my house. I was like, I know what it's like to be with somebody that is making the decision to get sober. It's super heavy. So he asked if he could come over and talk about that night and kind of just the emotional toll. And that's when I was like, hmm, that's a goodhearted guy, somebody that would stick by his buddy and do that. Maybe I was wrong about him. Like maybe I could be with somebody like that. Well, also considering the dating pool is like a cesspool.

It's like it's almost like it's not really a choice. It's kind of a lack of options. All right. We'll give this a try. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, this guy seems decent. And you got back on Tinder and you find somebody who's like, I'm friends with him. That probably reinforces the idea that like everybody knows everybody. I can't find other people. Like I might as well just get this guy. Right. Yeah. Like this guy, Morgan, he thinks this guy's like the best thing since sliced bread. So Morgan and Kyle and I are just in this friendship. We kind of try to hang out a couple of times. It doesn't work out. And Morgan kind of. starts falling off a little bit and Kyle and I are just really hitting it off. Eventually we say, I love you. From then, he started staying over every weekend and some weeknight. And one of the

first things that Kyle and I kind of talked about was if I get in a relationship with somebody, I'm not living with that person until I get married to them. And that is zero shades of people that do it because I know it works for people. But for me personally, I learned my lesson. Yeah. good for you for learning that about yourself. Totally. Yeah, and he said the same thing. And so I was like, oh, cool, another checkbox, like something I want that he also wants. Of course. Of course. He says the right thing. A little over a year since we had initially met, everything's going great. I had just turned 30 and I was just ready to move into the next chapter of my life. And so we get engaged and pretty much immediately like the wheels fall off.

He tries to move in. I say that you can't because we had already discussed that we are not going to do that. So then he starts to relive in his mind some past experiences from his childhood, causing him to be slightly erratic and emotional. And so I'm trying to be a good partner and I'm also trying to be a good friend because in a partnership, we had a deal. And our deal was that we were not going to live together until we're married. But the friendship part of me was like, he needs me. And so I want to make sure that I'm there for him. And so he started staying over more frequently.

Ashley, you're such a good person and partner and friend, which is. Thank you. Well, that's what that's what people want. They want to manipulate you. They want to get you vulnerable and soft. They want you to want to need them and they want you to want to fix them. And that's what we do as women sometimes, right? I mean, guys do it too sometimes.

You want to fix the person. You want to help them. You want to be their hero. Like, it's what we do. Yeah, for sure. They know that. I wanted to, like, be the appropriate person that he needed at the time. Having zero experience in what he was going through, it was like a,

like just a balancing act. And on his days when they were really bad, I was like, sure, you can come over. And on the days when he seemed to be doing fine, I would be like, hey, you've stayed over five days this week. And then it would spiral. And he would be doing really bad again. And so he would need to come over multiple times. And it was like a back and forth of me trying to hold a boundary while still trying to

be consistent for him. Had you heard from Morgan since you had gotten engaged? No. So Morgan was just, he just fell off the face of the planet. Yeah. And I had talked to Kyle about that too. And I was just like, I'm a little bit worried about him because I text him every now and them and he doesn't text me back.

And he was just like, don't worry about it. He's kind of like that. He comes and goes. He'll come back eventually. Yeah, he comes and goes whenever he feels like being Morgan. So what happens once you, so now you're at this point. where he's kind of staying there more often. You want to save him, but you also don't want to live together officially until you're married. Eventually, I put my foot down. I pretty much was like,

hey, you got to stop staying here. You can stay here three nights a week, no more. Yeah. One night after pretty soon after that, I am laying in my bed and I start here like knocking on the side of my house. So I'm texting Kyle and I'm like, there's weird noises outside. It literally sounds like somebody's trying to get in or trying to scare me. Yeah. And his response is to instead of being like, hey, everything's okay. I'll be there after work. He's like, no, actually, I don't think I told you this, but the other day and I have a storm door and he said somebody came in the storm door and inside of my home at like two in the morning. And so I was like, wait, one, why don't you tell me that too? I never don't lock my door. Also, the fact that you're like, I'm currently scared someone might be getting in.

And he's like, oh, yeah, by the way, that's a very real bear. That's a crazy way to handle that. Yeah. So I was like, well, okay, one, why don't you tell me that happened? Yeah, no, that would be big red flag. What did you do in that moment? Okay, if you're listening, listener, Mercury's in retrograde. I'm being very L.A. And we had a technical difficulty. So McKenzie, a couple of things happened. First of all, Ashley's telling the story and says somebody's trying to break into her place is what it sounds like. Suddenly, McKenzie's computer goes crazy and she leaves. And then I hear someone trying to get into my apartment. And I'm like, wait, maybe Ashley's ex, no.

that she's telling the story and has come to find us. Turns out my roommate came home from work early. Happy Friday. And McKenzie's fine, but she's now on her phone. So if we sound bad, please don't destroy us in the reviews. That's the update. And now you, listener, think you have to wait to what happened in this story? We just had to wait, like, a long time.

And now I am on the edge of my seat, Ashley. I'm still dying to know. And I'm sorry if my microphone comes. Deal with it. Don't block us. Okay, go. Back to you, girl. Okay, so he is telling me that somebody did try to come into the house. Like, okay, one, where are you scaring me? Two, please come over tonight because I don't know what's going on. Well, that's what he wanted.

Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. And so he came over. Was he like, I'm conveniently 30 seconds away because he was secretly outside? He was still at work And he worked about 45 minutes away from my house So who's breaking Who's banging on your wall? To this day I don't know I don't like that

I don't like that I don't know I had his location So I could see where he was And so I knew that he wasn't there I assumed that he was like Panging his friends or something to scare me to in order for me to come over

The knocking happens like one more time and then really never again. Kyle and I are continuing on a downward spiral because he is going through his emotional trauma of his past. I'm trying to be there, but trying to not sacrifice my boundaries while also trying to be a good friend. And so the next thing that I'm thinking of is let's do pre-marital counseling because we're engaged. We keep missing each other. I don't know how to be the person that he needs because I don't know frankly what he needs. I like that idea. So we start doing that. We go and the first meeting is great. The second week, we had kind of had had a little bit of an argument and it's always, always, always about staying at the house. And I'm like,

listen, you cannot, like you just can't. That's not the deal. And he's like, well, I'm going to bring all this up in the counseling office. And I'm like, please, like, please, because I want to see where I'm missing you. And I also want you to hear what you're missing as well. Yeah. I would like a third party's help. And so we would go and she asked him, oh, everything's fine. Everything's great. Like I really, I don't even know like while we're here. And I'm like, hmm, okay, well, that's like, one, that's not what you said. Yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Two, I will then bring up my main problem of living arrangements because that is what I need. And then the counselor is pretty much like, yeah, if that's what the two of you decided, and that's what you told her that you would do.

And she, I don't need a lot, but I do need you to be honest. And so like what you do need, you have communicated very clearly. Yeah. As clearly as I could. Yeah. And I like to think that I'm pretty straightforward and it's out of love. But it's not a loving thing to allow people to walk all over you. and it's not a loving thing to walk all over people.

I just kind of like, yeah, the best like relationship advice I think I've heard in a while was something about how boundaries are an act of like respected love. And you set boundaries so that you can have a loving relationship with another person. It's not against them. Yeah. It's because you want a good relationship with them. My parents would be absolutely losing their minds because they, it's been my whole life that my parents have been like, Ashley, you need boundaries.

Like, you need to do that. And I finally, like, after 30 years, we learn what's up. It takes a while. We lived for it. It took a while. So we kept going to counseling. And every time there would be a counseling coming up, though I think it was Mondays, every Sunday, it would be like, I'm bringing this up in counseling.

Monday, everything's great. And so I'm kind of like, eh, right. I am not understanding what's going on. And in my not understanding, my wheels in my mind are starting to turn. He says it's one way, but my perception is the exact opposite. Like, what am I missing? What is he missing? How do we get back on the same page?

Eventually, it came to a head one day. We were arguing, and my dog got off of the bed and got under the bed. And I was like, okay, my dog is now sensing something that I am not seeing. I have to do something different. And I don't know what that is, but I got to be real with myself and realize that something is not as it's. scenes. So I'm like, listen, you got to go. Your dog suddenly sensed almost a threat, fully a threat. Yeah. So I called my sister and I was like, listen, Kyle is at my house. I don't want to be here. Can you please come pick me up? And she was like, sure. And we went on a walk. And I told my

sister, I was like, I'm missing something. Eventually, I remember that the other day, my parents were in the Everglades and my dad said something about saltwater crocodiles. And the same day, Kyle had also said something about that. So I was just like, it's kind of weird because things that he says to me, there are things I'm already talking about with other people. And I can't, like, he has no reason to know like what I'm talking about over here, yet it'll just come up. And I'm like, okay, maybe he's just watching Animal Planet and trying to justify it away, but it kept on being like parallel conversations. He was like those targeted ads we get when we talk about something and then it comes up. You're like, how did you know? But that's weird.

So this brings me to something that I totally forgot. I skipped over completely in the story. Right around the time that him and I got engaged, I kind of got bamboozled into getting on my own phone plan because he was like it's going to be like a hundred dollars cheaper and I was a little bit stressed with money and so I was like okay I got on his phone. You got on his phone plan. Oh my God. The phone. So wait, was he like listening or like on your number? When I went to go trade in my phone, he kept my phone. And so I got a new phone and it just wasn't a trade in if you know what I mean. This happened on that TV show. You. Did you watch you? On a new. Netflix?

Surprisingly enough, I cannot watch that show. It's a little too close to home for me. Yeah. That's not surprising at all. You don't have to watch it. But that is exactly what happened. He made sure she broke her phone and then he kept it and he could look at her text. Yeah, because it's still signed into your Apple ID.

And so that's what I was thinking is like every text message that I would get and that I would respond to, he could just, it was like a reading log for him. I didn't think about that, though, until later on, too, when I'm talking to my sister and I'm, and I'm starting to say, like, he actually, it's very parallel. And she was like, if all of these things are happening, and if this is what you think, then stop. Like, you don't have to get married. You don't have to break it off, but you don't have to get married. Trust your femme tuition. Yeah. So I text my cousin.

I don't know if I want to get married. And she's like, yep. call me when you're ready. So I get home and we FaceTime from my computer. I'm kind of talking through my thoughts. And as we're talking back and forth, I get a phone call from a number I don't know. And I'm like, I'm just going to let it go to voicemail. And they call again. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to let it go to voicemail because I don't freaking know who this is. They call again. and it's like three or four times in a row. I think on the fifth time, I'm like, hey, let me answer this, but stay on the face time

because I can answer it on my phone. Yeah. And then I can tell them to take me off their list and get back to you. Yeah, it's just weird that they're psycho dialing me. Right. So I answer the phone and I'm like, hello, hello, hello, and they don't answer. And so then I hang up. I get a text message from this number.

And it says, is this, is this Ashley? I couldn't hear you on the phone. And then my response was, I'm sorry. I don't know who this is. And he says, this is Kendrick Ray. We texted some about a year ago. I have a different number now. And I said, oh, I don't remember that.

I'm sorry. And I'm reading this verbatim, just FYI. So if it sounds like I'm reading, it's because I am. Great. I said, oh, I don't remember this. I'm sorry. He says, that's all right. I was wondering how you've been.

It's been a while. I don't respond because I'm like, I don't, like, I don't know who this is. But then he texts me again and he's like, I called you to ask if you might be interested in eating dinner on Thursday. I said, I don't even know who you are. I don't have your old number saved in my phone. And more importantly, I'm with somebody else. Sorry.

And he says, okay, no problem. Having a boyfriend don't matter to me though, ha. And I said, yeah, well, it matters to me. Good luck, though. That's hilarious. And he said, a wise man told me if there isn't a ring on her hand, she's open. And I never responded. And that was the end of that conversation.

And I was like, that's super weird. And my cousin goes, do you think that this is Kyle? And I was like, I don't think so. And she goes, well, you know, this isn't the first time I've asked you that question. And I was like, you're right. With Morgan. Because she said the same thing about Morgan. And I was like immediately no.

Like I don't think that that is Kyle. Like that just wouldn't make any sense. Like they're just friends. They've been friends for forever. They went to the same college. I just had no reason to think it was him. And my cousin is like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that Morgan is Kyle. And I'm pretty sure that this is also Kyle.

So I'm like, okay, what do I do? And my cousin is like, I'm going to call the number. Read it off to me. So she calls it. And again, it goes to like some generic voicemail. This phone number is not available. Leave a voicemail. And so she's like, well, it's psychodial you.

I'm going to psychodial it. And so she called it like three times. The third call, this number is disconnected. Like this number is not a working number. And we're like, hmm, okay. That's weird. Not even five minutes later, Kyle calls me. And I don't answer it.

Then he texted me and he's like, hey, can you call me? It's urgent. So I call him back. And he's like, is everything okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm just talking to my cousin. Like, what's up? And he was like, something just seems weird. I'm just checking to see if everything's okay because everything feels weird.

And I'm like, okay, well, full transparency. I got a weird text message from a weird number and I can't figure out who it is. they know who I am. I don't know who they are and it's kind of weird. And he was like, what's the number? I'm going to get to the bottom of this. And I was like, well, I already tried to look. Like, I already been verified it. I already, like, looked on Facebook. I already tried to call it. The number is now disconnected. I don't really like, here's the number, but I already tried all the things. Which, by the way, if anybody doesn't know what been verified is, it's like an online, like public record search of information. So if you're trying to find someone,

you go to Benverified.com and they'll be like, well, we'll, we'll, we'll, charge you extra to find this. It's public record stuff. Anyways, carry on. Yes. And I, like, I already done that. And he was like, I'm going to figure this out. So I'm like, okay, whatever. Good luck. Have fun. At some point in time, he had told me that he had a cop friend. So he was like, I'm going to get my cop friend to run the number or whatever. And I was like, oh, okay. Okay. Now I'm to the point of like, I need to figure out how to break up with him because he's not coming over tonight. And I know that. But he is coming over tomorrow. But I want to try to stall it until the weekend. It just, I just want to try to stall. Was there any part of you that was nervous about

like finding out that somebody's doing something that's completely irrational? Like I would be nervous to confront them. Yeah. Yeah. And so luckily, the weekend prior, Kyle said something that was really mean to me. He did say to me, it's no wonder that you only attract addicts because you can only be an addict to be with you. And I was like, one out. Oh, my God. Absolutely not. So he had said that.

And I was like, okay, I'm going to use that as my excuse to just be like, listen. That was uncalled for. It was rude. It's not true. I want to be done. And I'm just going to use that as my excuse to be done and not bring in any of the fact that I know about Morgan. And I know about Kendrick. and I know that those are burner numbers and whatever.

Good idea. That night, I moved my table in front of my back door. I moved my couch in front of my front door because he had a key to my house. And I was like, I just have to make it through the night. I call my dad at like 5.30 in the morning. And I'm like, I don't think I'm safe. I think I really messed up with dating Kyle. He's not who he says he is.

I need to get the locks changed on my house. and my dad has somebody there at 9 o'clock in the morning. That way I can at least sleep a little bit more sound until I can make it to the weekend. Also, the fact that you're in a position where you don't know what is going to happen is so sad that you're there and that you have to prepare for that at all. I mean, this story is so tough because you are doing everything like you possibly can do to protect yourself. And yet it's still so difficult. I'm just trying to make reasonable decisions because I have family and friends that I love that I want to be there for and I'm not about to sacrifice any of that for this dude that I thought I knew that I actually have no idea who he is. Also, he sounds like an asshole, just saying.

Besides all this other stuff. I'm sorry, he treated you like that. You know, better me than somebody else, I think, but it is what it is. So I told my parents everything that happened. And so my mom says, hey, well, he, well, he. He told you that the ring was X amount of dollars, like $9,000 or whatever. One easy thing that we can do to see if that's true or not is to take it to an appraiser. And I'm like, okay, let's take it to an appraiser tomorrow. I'll come pick you up from work and then we'll go and do that.

I had kind of started to think that he might have been reading my text messages, but I wasn't sure. So I was like, okay, well, I'll just text you when I'm on the way. So we did not discuss our plan to go get the ring appraised just to see how much it was going to be. on any type of medium other than face to face. And so the next day, my mom got a lunch break at work. And so that's when I went to go pick her up. We went to the ring store. On the way to pick up my mom, out of absolute nowhere, he texted me.

And he's like, hey, can we talk about your ring for a second? You need to take it to get appraised. And I'm like, okay, what is? Because you hadn't texted that, right? You had only talked about it. Correct. I had not texted that in any medium whatsoever. He was like, you need to take your ring to get appraised because I wanted to put it on my insurance policy.

Did he like bug your house? Like I'm dying right now. So that was in my parents' house. Oh, okay. That wasn't even in my house. So you're on your way to get the ring appraised. And this fella says, hey, just calling you out of the blue to say, hey, go get your ring appraised. Yeah, just like, hey, we need to talk about your ring.

You need to go get it appraised. I just didn't respond because I was going to pick up my mom. I wanted to talk it through with her. And so I get there and I'm like, Mom, you'll never guess what Kyle texted me. And I read it out to her and she was like, what the heck? We've only talked about this face to face. how would he even know that you're doing that? And so I am like, okay, I don't want him to know where I'm going. I have his, my location is on my phone. And so I turn my phone off because I don't want him to know like where I'm going.

Yeah. But I'm with my mom and it's only going to be like 30 minutes and then I'll turn it back on. It'll be like nothing ever happened. And so we're in the car. My mom gets a phone call from a number that she doesn't recognize. And she doesn't answer. And then it calls. again, she answered it and nobody spoke on the phone. And it was just like this Kendrick thing over again. It's Morgan. Yeah, it's Morgan. Yeah. So we're just like, okay, that's weird. Go get my ring appraised. Come back to my mom's work. Turn on my phone. And I have a missed call from one of my friends that lives in another part of the state. So I call her back and she was like, hey, I was just randomly thinking about you. So like, I just want to call and see what's up.

And I was like, bro, you will not believe what's going on. But sorry, I've got to go. I'll call you later. And so then I get a call from my mom and she's like, stop using your phone and call me from your work phone. So I did. And she's like, hey, your friend from another town just called me. After you got off the phone with her, she immediately got a phone call from somebody else

that was looking for a Brenda or a Glenda or something like that. And she read off the number to my mom and it was Kyle's actual number. What? Yeah, he had called her from his real number trying to figure out who she was. He's panicking. Yeah. So I went to the store that day and got a new phone. Great.

So that all happened by about. one o'clock in the afternoon of a work day, mind you. My first thought was look and see where Kyle is on location because he should be on his way to work. He was halfway to my house, which is the exact opposite direction of where he worked. And so I panic and I'm like, he's on the way here. The closest person, the closest guy to me is my brother-in-law. And so my sister calls my brother-in-law is like go to Ashley's house because something is fixing to happen and we don't know what it is. Kyle is on the way. You need to be there.

And Kyle is texting me and it's like, hey, something's going on. I need to figure out what it is. I'm coming to talk to you, blah, blah, blah. And my response is don't go to my house because my dogs are there. And he has a key. He didn't have a key at the time. But he didn't know that he didn't have a key at the time. And so I didn't want to let in that I had already changed my locks because that would kind of get away a little more.

So he showed up at my house and it's me and my brother-in-law. I was like, I'm just going to break up with him. You're going to be there. I'm sorry. It's just going to be really awkward. So I pull up and he's there. He's in the parking lot. And he's like, yo, I just want my deer heads and my guns because he's an avid hunter.

And I had a couple of his guns in my house. So I was like, I will go get your deerheads. I'll go get your guns. Stay outside. And he was like, are we breaking up? And I was like, yep, what you said was totally uncalled for. I did my whole spiel that I had rehearsed with. I go up.

It took me two trips to go up the stairs and get them. I come down and I give it to him. He puts them in his truck. And then I go back to get the second set. and he storms up the stairs. And my brother-in-law stopped back. Did your brother-in-law see him go inside? Yeah, he did.

He didn't know what was going on. So he just kind of like was like, I don't know what to do. Do I stay in? Do I stay out? I don't know. So as I'm in the front room, Kyle comes up and he storms in and he burst open the door. So he walks in, he grabs his pistol.

And I don't know how this is going to go like, I'm just going to wish for the freaking best. And so I'm scared to death. I've got a deer head where I can swing it if necessary because he is seeing red. And I'm just like, he hasn't gone on his hip. And so I'm just like, my mind is like trying to play out every possible scenario in which scenario is going to keep me the safest. And so I'm like this is like.

I can see it. You look like you're going to shift your pants. Oh, I know. Okay. I'm sorry. I interrupted at the craziest moment. So you're swinging a deerhead to defend yourself. Well, I have it in my hand.

I'm just like, all right, this rack is in my hand. Just now like my best case scenario for life. And he's coming up towards me, like backing me up into the wall. And his hands start to move towards where I know that his firearm is. And so I'm like getting the deerhead in my hand like just ready for a movement. And if he moves, I move. And that's where we're going to stop for this. week. Oh, we're so sorry, a cliffhanger. Listen, you guys, I know I've seen how panicked these folks get

when it comes to my PI stories on my, on my Instagram. Like, they do not like it. So I'm so sorry, you guys. We really are. We are, but also we're not because you have to come back next week and just wait. Wait until you hear the rest of the story. You're going to freak out. Like, this story is, it just gets more insaneer. Um, so. More insaneer indeed. No, for real. And let us know what you think about this. We're on Instagram at dating detectives podcast. Just DM us if you've listened, your thoughts, anything. What questions do you have? What questions are unanswered for you? Because we're curious to know if any of them will be answered with the next episode, the second half. You can also email us, investigate at datingdetectivepod.com. Yeah, email us your stories. And make sure you share our podcast with a friend. The dating detectives is, You can find it on anywhere you listen to your podcast, and we would love for you to share and listen. And please connect with us on the Instagram.

Dating Detectives podcast. So part two is going to be next week. So I hope you can keep your pants on until then, because I cannot wait for you to hear the rest of this freaking story. It's a doozy. Sure is. Mow. Well, I guess we should just go do whatever we do for the rest of the week and while we wait for it to drop. Goodbye, my beautiful dating.

detective. Goodbye, my gorgeous, aren't you, smooth? Nailed it. To-a-l-l-l-l-oo. Goodbye.