The Dating Detectives - PantyGate

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

An Are We Dating The Same Man Facebook page exposes a dogfish. Click here to join our Patreon! For only $5 a month you will get 2 extra episodes a month, monthly virtual live events, and access to our community page! If you've been dogfished and want to share your story on the show, email [e-mail] or contact us through our website using this link This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. Get your incredible, temperature maintaining, silver infused sheets for 40% off, PLUS a free three piece towel set, by going to trymiracle.com/TDD and using code TDD at checkout. This episode is sponsored by Blueland. Go to blueland.com/TDD for 15% off. This episode of The Dating Detectives is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/tdd today to get 10% off your first month. ***The following Program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following Program is provided for entertainment purposes only and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following program contains names, places, and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7-233 for support. Hannah. Hi. We have a big, big news. We are doing our first live show. Officially given the date and the time and stuff. Like, and it's soon. So we're starting, not small, but we're starting intimate as our first little practice. And then hopefully we will be able to come visit all of you. But it's going to be on March 21st, which is Thursday. And it's going to be in Los Angeles at the Lyric Hyperion Theater, which is on the east side. Ooh, so cool. I don't know what the east side is, but it sounds amazing. And I cannot wait to go.

I'm so excited. We're just really excited to meet everybody. So much fun. So that's really big news for us. Big news. Yeah, where can they get tickets? So the tickets will be going on sale later this week. And once that link is live to buy your tickets, we will post it all over our socials.

We'll put it in the show notes too. Look out for that ticket drop this week. It's a very intimate venue. So the tickets are going to go really fast. So make sure you get your tickets. Then the show's going to be stories, but it's also going to be interactive. So we're going to get to know all of y'all. And I actually get to tell you guys the McKenzie undercover story that's like legit from.

And that's never been told. Never been told. And I'm going to share it with you guys. So I'm really excited for that. Ooh. Okay. So that's exciting. We also have some Patreon updates about the only fans, Pimp.

Which if you are on Patreon, you'll see. So go there. because we'll do mass updates as we get like really big news, but like there's some little things that we're still investigating that we don't want to like disclose publicly until we know everything, but we tell the Patreon people because it's Patreon. You guys, there are some big things coming down the pike with this OnlyFans camp.

Like this is a big deal. Like I feel like we get like the exclusives. Like this is breaking news. And you guys are getting it like on the dating detectives first. And like we get to share it with you guys. And so we are honored that these guests have opened up to us about their story and we are really excited that they've allowed us

to share it with you and keep you updated. So if you're not a Patreoner yet, it's $5 a month. So sign up, subscribe, do whatever. And come be your friend on the Patreon and you get two bonus episodes a month, including the one we just posted about the OnlyFans Pimp update.

So you guys are going to want to hear that. So make sure you subscribe. We're also, I feel like this episode, and hopefully all the episodes, have helped people. And we were thinking about having an expert on sex trafficking to talk to them about signs to look out for. We would put that just on the Patreon. And also, like, even if it's not just specific to sex trafficking, I feel like the signs of grooming and trafficking can overlap with any kind of dog fishy relationship.

So that will also be coming. So those are Patreon updates. But today we have a really great episode for you. And it's a doozy, as always. It is a wild, wild story. Amazing guest. You guys got to meet Kira. Okay, let's get Kira in here.

Let's go. Thanks for being here. Hi, I'm so happy to be here. All right. You guys ready? Get some popcorn. Salted and buttered, let's go. Yes.

All right. Well, I am Kira, and I currently work in the human resources industry. I do have children, and currently I am single. I am not on the dating websites at the mall. As you will now find out why. All right, so we'll get into Jacob. So he and I met around October 2022. We did meet on plenty of fish, which was an app I hated, and I was on it for a total of four days.

But he happened to message me before I deleted my account. At first, he just, he was very personable. He seemed to like really busy and professional, which was something that definitely was attractive to me because just in my past, I really haven't had someone that really seemed like they had their ish together. So he was really funny and had a good level of sarcasm enough for me to be able to handle because I'm a super sarcastic person. I have a very animated personality as well.

So he seemed to really find it to be like adorable and endearing. So that was a big thing. I didn't feel like I had to change myself. I could just be who I am and say whatever it is that I want to say. And he knew how to plan a date to take a. a woman out on a date, be personal, ask questions. He seemed to really remember things. And that's a good thing is when someone can remember what you say. And, you know, in the dating world, they tend to talk to so many people. So if he remembers the things that you say, he's paying attention.

Yes, that's true. So a little background on Jacob that he had told me over our first couple of dates. He grew up in New Mexico. And as far as I know, he stayed there most of his, like, childhood life and he did go to college out there where he got a degree in political science, one of the local colleges. After high school, he went to college first and then he joined the Marines. As far as I know, he was in there for four years. And during that time, and this is what he told me and I'm definitely going to butcher some of the language when I say this because I don't know the appropriate terms. But he told me that one of his jobs, was he will search out missions and decide where like troops are going to drop overseas for certain missions.

And one big thing that stuck out with him and really affected him through his military career was that one of the times he had basically told a troop wrong and they all died. Oh my gosh. Yes. So he had some PTSD because of that. So he seemed to be really affected by it to the point where I really feel like he didn't want to talk about. his military service a ton, but he talked about it enough, but definitely in a completely different way than other military that I have known. So he only did his four years, and he said he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. And so he started to go through treatment, and he has been in remission ever since. He's been through a lot. Yeah. That's so tragic. Yes. And then he met who ended up being his wife shortly after that, and they had moved to the Portland,

Oregon area, and just kind of made their life. So their timeline and backstory is that they got married. They were married for 16 years, and they ultimately separated in 2021, but before that, they had really grown apart. They were sleeping in separate rooms, and they decided that they would open up the marriage on a don't ask, don't tell kind of basis. So apparently at some point, in their marriage, they kind of had what he said word for word. I don't ask, don't tell. They didn't want to separate and... Sorry. I immediately went. Oh, come on. Yeah, I feel that reaction so much. So they were just growing apart and according to him there wasn't any intimacy anymore. And so they didn't want to move apart because they both wanted to stay really active with the kids' life. So it's like they

stayed together for the kids, so to speak. So they have kids and you have kids too, you said. Yes. He has two kids. So anyhow, he got into a relationship and they were together for about like a year and a half, two years. And this was around like the 2020, just before COVID and through the COVID era. Wait, so he's married for 16 years, has some kids around right before COVID. They are, don't ask, don't tell, open relationship. So now he has a wife, kids, a girlfriend, but they're not living together. I'm just catching up.

They are living together, but separate rooms, according to him. Okay. Separate rooms. And I will say, like, I had a lot of reservations about the fact that he had a don't ask, don't tell. And the only reason why I think that I kind of continue to move forward is I do have friends that are like that too. So I know it happens. I know that it's a day. It can.

There can be. Yeah. Yeah. There can be different types of relationships. Exactly. And I asked a lot of questions. And I continue to ask a lot of questions. So he was with this Alice woman for about a year and a half to two years.

And then in that time with COVID, because they're both working from home, him and his wife at this point, they just realized they do need to live apart. So it was August 2021. They move apart. But she moves out of the Marrtle Home. He stays in it because he's from New Mexico and other state. He doesn't have a lot of family out here. And so she moved out.

At some point, though, because when I met him in October of 2022, he was literally moving. out of that house into another one, which was in the same city like two blocks, three blocks away, long blocks, but blocks away. And his story was that she needed to, whoever she was living, they were selling the house and that her credit had gotten so bad that she needed to come back into their house and he was going to move out. So he was literally moving. Like he was asking me opinions on like bar stools to go up to his like breakfast bar in his kitchen, you know, things of that nature. Do the kids live with him in the marital home or do they live with mom? I asked this later.

He did say they went back and forth when he was still in the marital home. So is even. Okay. At that time, it was. In this new house, though, the other two rooms remained empty. Okay. So there was, yeah.

Interesting, painting the picture. Kind of a red flag. It's fine. Like, kind of red flags, but right now we're just like, okay, benefit of the doubt. Yeah, we don't know. Mackenzie says P.I. cannot assume.

That is what I have learned. Right. But we can call a damn red flag. flag we can be like well it's a very dark pink right now I know it's going to turn to sirens I swear um so um we do date for a couple weeks not very long he comes on very strong like wants to come like two days later come to where I work and take me out to lunch and I'm like okay I was going out of town the weekend after for a side business and he wanted to come along with me. And I was like, you know, no, this is for my business. So I'm not going to have anyone come along with me.

Then it's just, he's just so nice. And his conversations with him are just so great. And he's very chivalrous. It opens up doors. He won't let me pay for anything even though I really would like to because it's just in my personality to at least try to pay for something. Yeah. But again, I'm also not used. used to that. Like, here's a man that's successful. He makes good money and he likes to do things. It's just, it was definitely one of those types of situations. With his sarcasm, I mentioned before, had made this really awkward and weird joke about a poem that my daughter wrote about me for school. Because I thought it was so cute. I took a screenshot. I sent to a few of my friends.

I sent to him, like, look, this is what my daughter wrote. And he just made a really weird. joke kind of insinuating something along the lines of a romanticness in that poem. Nah. Yes. Nah. I was like, you know, after that I said, I really don't feel like I want to pursue this any further. That's, and he. To say that's an ick feels like an understatement.

Yeah, you are. It just makes sense that you'd be like, not. If that was my best friend, I'd probably laugh about it. But they were talking about my daughter here. you know, she's in high school. So at that point, I just kind of tell him I no longer want to pursue things, no longer interested. He definitely tried to tell him like, oh, give me another chance. I'm so sorry. And you'll try to talk me out of it. And I was like, yeah, no. So then we stopped talking. However, I do notice that every like three to four weeks, he reaches out to me again and wants to

know if I want to go out. And I'm like, yeah, no. And I went back in my text messages and I did look at one point and be like, yeah, your pattern was like every three to four weeks. It's like he put an alarm on his phone every four weeks checking on Hira again. It was very, very consistent. So in February 2023, again, he reaches out. We do have a mutual friend in the sense where it's like he knows the husband, I know the wife. And he had told me something very random about them. And I'm more friends with the wife and I don't really care about the husband that much. But I think it was his way of trying to like start some sort of conversation. And so we have that conversation and then that's it. Then I see him on Bumble when I'm going through. And me, just being the sarcastic teaser that I am, I reach out to him and

say, so, hey, how's Bumble going? And he's like, oh, not very good. Like, to the point where he screenshots like his inbox to show that he's only, yeah, the show that he only has like two conversations going on. Oh, because you can't delete those, right? Like, that's not a thing. Right? Or that could not be an old street job. I know. Like, oh, you've proven nothing, sir. Yeah, that and it's like, again, if you want to overproof something, red flag. Yeah, that's weird to me in general. Even if it is true, it's like you wouldn't want to brag. Right? Like, make yourself look that way. There's just something weird about it. Yes. So he, of course, he asked me out again. He said, I'm going to be in your area. So he's like, please just go to dinner.

No strings attached, like no expectations. Just let's go out to dinner. Why I say yes, I don't know, but I do. We've all been there. So we go out again. We made up at a restaurant like literally two blocks from my house and we talk. And honestly, it was fun. It's like I remembered why I liked talking to him because he has a sense of humor.

He, again, thinks that my antics are hilarious and adorable. So it just felt very comfortable. And after going through a couple of months of trying to do the online dating, just how ridiculous can be. It was just nice that here was someone I didn't have to put on a show for or filter because I hate filters. And when they think you're naturally funny, that's amazing. Like, you're like, oh, God, I'm killing.

I'm a very sarcastic girl. And she loves it. She's like, he found me funny. Yeah, that's the best feeling. Right? Like, he actually laughs on my jokes, not the, you know, deer in the headlights or the courtesy laugh. Right.

Oh, my God. Or the men who are just like, women aren't funny. Like, you're the star of that show. and that's always fun. So we just start things up and start talking again and going on dates and things like that. Now, during that meetup, the very initial one, kind of catching up and he tells me that his mom had died and the time that we were not talking, his mom passed away. Oh, no.

This fella is just, oh, bless his heart. He just keeps getting a lot of bad look. Right. Yeah, I was just like, wow, like I know he didn't have a good relationship with her. So I very distinctly remember having the conversation with them, like, how does that make you feel? Because having such a hard relationship with her and then her passing, you know, it just probably gives you a little bit of a conflicted feelings. Do you wish that you would have reconciled before? Oh, yeah, of course.

You know, we had that conversation and that is where things kind of turn off. So at this point, he tends to share things about his life with me, but at the same time, he's closed off. in other areas. And it's hard to describe, but it'll kind of come out a little later. He's picking and choosing. Yes. Absolutely. So he's super involved with his children. They're into sports. So he's always going to their sports games. He's telling me about his relationship with this children. Definitely feels like him and his daughter are just like best friends. Like daddy's girl. She's at his house all the time. So things are just like, it's really looking good. Like here's a man that's very involved with his children. My youngest daughter is in sports too, so he asked a lot of questions about that and it seems

like real interested in how her practices were going and her games and things like that. So now we're out back around May. He actually takes me to a trip to Mexico where I have never been. So that was a lot of fun and interesting. And again, totally not used to any of this. Like I, you know, I'm not young and I have not experience this type of courtship. It sounds like a dream. Yeah, right. Right? It's just all going so well, and I'm really starting to fall for him.

And we get to about September, 2023. And this is where it's the sirens start going off, but I'm ignoring them. So we're past red flags. We're going straight to sirens. It's sirens. Oh, boy. Okay. Hindsight's 2020.

So it's the year now. Well, probably about like six or seven months at this time. But a year since I met him. I guess I'm going to say like consecutive. Gotcha, gotcha, okay. But yeah, almost a year that I've known him. So he had a hard time wanting me to meet his kids. It seemed to be a real contention with him.

And for me, you know, this isn't my first rodeo. I've been divorced for seven years. And my kids are already like, they got the groove going. They know what this divorce life is like. So I understood that he was not. place and he just I did think it was strange that he just didn't want me to meet his kids and it very much seemed like they didn't even know I existed. Ooh. What? And yes. And he had a good relationship with his ex-wife and he always talked about how he just had this dream about,

you know, his new partner and his ex-wife just really getting along and I'm the perfect person for that. I just, I can't put my finger on it on why it is that he's having such a hard time with me meeting his kids. However, come September, I finally meet his kids. So, okay. Okay. Okay. We're getting somewhere. And they're not like dad's still married. This is all a lot. Like you get confirmation that this is a thing. Yes, absolutely. But this is a, his daughter is someone that is very uncomfortable. I can just feel this. Oh, no. Anger radiating off of her when it comes. comes to him. So here I'm thinking, Daddy's girl, but I'm like, this is not a daddy's girl. Oh, no. And I can kind of, I guess, pass it off or explain it as maybe it's just I'm the first

girlfriend that she is meeting post her parents divorce. I can be super understanding on that. This just felt a little different. But then same month, I actually think it was the next weekend. I had my kids that weekend and we weren't going to see each other that. night. I believe it was a Friday night. And we weren't going to see each other. But just how things ended up, I ended up having a night free. My kids wanted to stay the night at their friends' houses. So I decided to surprise him and drive down to his house and be like, hi! Like, surprise, we can spend the night together. And he does not live close to me. It's not a close drive. It's not terribly far, but it's not close. So I get there and I see that there is a black truck in

his driveway. Oh boy. That I've never seen. He always parks in the garage so it's not his and he doesn't drive a truck. But I'm like, hmm, okay. Oh God. Oh God. I don't. I know. I just, we're both squirming. I know. This is at like 11 p.m. So I don't want to just. Like who is over? Right. I don't want to just burst in and be like, hey. So I. Like the Kool-Aid, man. So at that point, like, I just, I start calling him. Okay, I'm going to call him first. I'm going to see what he's doing. Because my impression is that he had gone to an away football game for his kids high school.

But again, it's 11 o'clock. He could be back. And I call. And I call. And I call. And I call. And I call. I think I called him like 20 times in a row, which I know sounds absolutely insane.

But again, you drove all the way. I'm 40 minutes away. like, please. Yeah. Totally. So I just want to make 100% sure. So at this point, I'm like, okay, like his house does look kind of dark. And so I actually start driving away. This is also a man that really likes to FaceTime everybody. He even FaceTime is my best friend. She thinks it's the weirdest thing in the world. She's like, I want, like, we'll talk to you, but I don't want to see your face. You know, I think she even told him that. So yeah, he always FaceTime to me always. They're even driving. And, you know, it gets to the point where, all right,

I just set my phone down. Right. You're like, it's speakerphone essentially. Yeah, exactly. He just likes it. Okay. So keep this in mind. I start driving away. He texts me. Hey, and I literally say, that's it. Hey. Just the. I said, so you have 20 missed calls for me and you decide to text me. but I have to be honest, if anybody calls me, I will absolutely never answer, but I will text you back right away. But this is a different situation. But wouldn't you at least do an exclamation point? Like, just a hey is so casual after that. I know, I would be like, dude, what you, like, you better need an emergency, like, this better be an emergency kind of vibe.

At this point, yeah, I don't call him like that ever. So I, in my mind would think, like, wow, what happened? Something's wrong. So then he calls me. But not FaceTime. Not FaceTime. He calls me. And I'll mind you, it doesn't matter how late it is.

He FaceTimed me, but he calls me. So I just say, hey, like, I was at your house, and there was this truck in your driveway. And I've been calling you and calling you because I didn't want to just walk in thinking he could be with his friend because it was a truck there, male friend. And he's like, oh, well, I'm just leaving the game. I'm sorry, I was talking to the parents afterwards. and I didn't hear my phone. I was like, I called you at one point at least 15 to 20 times in a row.

And you mean to tell me you didn't ever feel your phone on vibrate in your pocket? Yeah. And he's like, oh, yeah, no. Oh, but I mean, thanks for coming. What? Was it a convenience store? Thanks for coming.

Come again. Yeah. And I was just like, okay, well, I haven't hit the freeway yet. I can just turn around. And he was like, What do you say? And he's like, oh, well, you know, I'm just, I'm kind of far.

And it's going to be a while until I get there. And I was like, no, you're not. You're like 20 minutes away. This is the point when McKenzie would have posted up in the bushes and been like, yeah, okay. And then just been like watching to see if he comes home. Because I'm a PI, not because I'm a psychopath. Oh, yes, exactly. She would do it.

She would do it legally and follow protocol. I should have been in the damn bushes, let me tell you. So I turn around and I start driving back. to his house. And so now I say, well, I'm at your house now. And I see this truck. And he's like, oh, that's my, he says roommate, but in his house, there's like a mother-in-law suite that's separate from the house, has its own entryway. Isn't, you know, he, and it's separately rented. And then there's the house that's rented. So he said, though, that's my roommate's boyfriend's truck. I told them when I'm gone that I can, they can, he can park in the drive.

way. What? And I'm just like, what? The word roommate is weird to use if it's somebody that's running out another part of the house. Yeah, because he had privileges to the driveway. She had to park on the street. And so I'm literally thinking to my head, have I ever seen this truck parked on his street? But we're still talking.

And I just say to him, why is it that you're not asking me to stay and to wait for you? Like, if you came to my house and I was on. on my way home. I'd be like, oh gosh, just wait, wait for me. I'll be like 20 minutes. Just hang out and I'll be there in a second. I said, you're acting weird. He's like, well, I can meet you. Oh, conveniently. Okay. Like, meet me. Like, why are you acting so weird? He's like, well, I don't know. I just, people don't surprise me. What? And this is where I shouldn't have done this, but then I just leave. He, I don't wait for him. I just go home. I'm just mad at this point. Yeah, I would be too. So there is a way to really know how my car is.

My car is a very distinct thing about it. So even if I were to stay there, he could come home and see that I'm there. So, you know, and he lives in this coldest act that I can't really hide out too much. So I leave. Not even a week later. Did you talk to him in that week? Yes. Yes, I did.

And I talked to him a little bit more the next day and just was like, that was a very weird exchange for me. I don't really understand why you were acting so standoffish about the fact that I surprised you. Like, I thought you were going to be happy that I was going to be able to stay the night with you when we weren't expecting it. Like, you were just kind of like, you know, semi whining about it earlier. So sirens that we ignored. I get it now. Yeah. And we do have a routine where like Thursdays are always our date nights.

We do see each other on the weekends. At this point, he's met my kids. So he'll do stuff with me and the kids. sometimes during the week, like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, we'll go over to his house for dinner or he'll come our way and come to dinner with us. And everyone gets along? Like, everyone likes him? Yeah. My youngest daughter loves him because they're both into the same sport, which is baseball.

And she was playing baseball. He came to her games. He's doing all these things. So Thursday nights are always our date night. So I spent Thursday night with him. I spend the night and I leave early for work the next day. The truck wasn't there, I'm sure, right? Chuck was no. I never sold the truck again. So at this point, we don't really have any plans.

And it's it's one of those things where I'm starting to kind of realize that if we do have plans, I'm making them. Uh-huh. And so I just like, you know what? We haven't talked about what we're going to do this weekend. I'm just going to wait. So I don't say... Be in a receiving mode. Yeah. I don't say anything. Like what are we doing tonight?

What are we going to do this weekend? I'm just like, okay. Waiting for him to initiate it. Yes. So this part is, I don't exactly remember how. But I ended up last minute he invites me to go to one of the high school home games. Because he's going to it. And so I was like, okay.

Like, I'll go with you. And wait, high school, is that because his kids were in high school? Yes. Yeah. The high school that he goes to, that his kids go to. Okay. He was going to go to the football game and he invited me to come with him. So I was like, okay.

After the game, he was supposed to hang out with his son. So I was just going to come to the game and then go home. So I show up to the game. We were walking around. He's acting a little funny. Just kind of nervous. Just like weird because they. I don't know, like, because we're together and we're walking around.

However, so his ex-wife does work for the school and she was there. So I, again, am just kind of explaining it off that maybe he's just nervous because I'm going to meet his ex-wife. So far, everything that is a red flag in hindsight, I totally understand how you could have worked. Same. Yeah, 100%. Just saying. It's just one of those, like, explaining it off the kind of things. So I do meet his ex-wife.

She is great. Super nice, very cordial. We have a good first exchange, but of course she's busy, so it's not like she's hanging out with us. And we go and we sit, and I do notice that we kind of sit in a random area. He always made it kind of seem like he knows a lot of people that go to the games and that he makes it a social thing, like talking about how he talked with parents last week and things like that. But we sit in a section where it's just the two of us and we're surrounded by people, but we talk to nobody. So, okay. Well, come to find out, his son decides he doesn't want to hang out with him afterwards. He wants to go with his friends after the game. So he's like, okay, fine. So he looks at me. It says, do you want to just come over then? I said, yeah. So we go to his house. We hang out for a little bit. And then we go to sleep. The next morning, I wake up and I go to the bathroom. I'm like an early riser and he's not. So I'm always awake before him. But I get up.

so I can use the restroom. And he has one of those like benches at the end of his bed, like that some people like put shoes under or whatever. Those are cute. He has one of those. I just get out of bed and I walk past and I see this red thing in the corner of my eye. But I'm already beelining it to the bathroom so I don't stop. But then I'm in the bathroom and I was like,

please tell me I did not just see what I saw on the bench. What is it? And I was like, no, no, no, no. There's no way. What is it, Tara? I have a guess. I don't want to be right. I walk out of the bathroom.

I walk up to there, and there is a pair of red panties. That are not mine because I don't wear red panties because I don't like the color on me. And I only wear a very specific brand of panties, and those weren't it. And they're used. So this is fresh. This is recent. It's, yeah. And mind you, I was at his house the night before.

I stayed the night at his house the night before. And there were no panties. Wait, the night before this football game? Yeah. Oh, like Thursday and Friday. I had stayed night over. And then I stayed there on over Friday night to Saturday night. So I was at his house.

Yes. So I pick them up. I set them on his sleeping face. And I say, what the fuck is this? Oh, my God. That, oh my God, that's brilliant. He wakes up and without skipping a beat. He tells me, oh, God, Chad came over yesterday for my AC, and he, like, flung these at me.

Who? I'm sorry. What? What? I was like, what? Yeah, he came over and he flung these at me. What? I was like, why on earth would he do that?

And why would you leave them? Yes. And I get to that. And he's like, oh, I just, I don't know. He does that. And he does tell me that that chat is a swinger with his wife. So I was like, so do you participate? Like, why would he bring you panties?

Again, not getting why. I said, and these are used. And he's like, how do you know? I make use panties every day. I know what they look like. Oh, yeah. We know. We know.

So I'm upset. Like, I'm. going to storm out. And then he's following me out. And he's explaining himself, but he's not. He's a little docile, a little straight face. And it could be like his, oh, shit face, I just got in trouble. Whether it's true or not, this is a situation we're in now. And I just say, how did they end up in your room? He's like, oh, you know, he flung him and I was going to put him in the trash downstairs, but my son was going to come over, and I didn't want him to find them. So I brought him upstairs with me to throw away upstairs and I sat on the bench to take my shoes off and I just forgot that they were there.

Wow. On the Johnny on the spot with that answer. Good job. Didn't you say he studied political science? Yes. That answer was everything. There we go. Exactly. Because I'm telling you without skipping a bee, I didn't get the deer in the headlights face. I didn't get an oh shit. I got nothing. Immediately that's what he said. It was without a skipping a beat. So at this point, I just want to leave. I want to leave. I want to get out of there. And so I just said, I can't be here right now.

I have to go. And I leave. I just, I don't believe him. That sounds way too. Who does that? Yeah. I'm trying to wrap my head around what just happened. Because that's never happened to me.

And I've been alive a lot of years. And I have never experienced anything along those lines. even in college. So I just, you know, I talked to my friend that night because we had worked together that night for my side business. And she also was like, I don't think he cheated on you, but I don't believe it either. And so I just do my detective thing.

And I find Chad on Facebook. And I start looking and I see his wife. And I mean, it's not going to scream at me that he's a swinger on social media. He's not like on Facebook like, hey guys, anybody down tonight? Also, here's pictures from my kids' football game. Yeah, that's right. But, you know, he doesn't show too much on his profile. So I'm just looking at pictures and looking at comments,

wanting to see if Jacob had maybe even interacted with him online. And I say that there's this one person that keeps commenting on Chad's photos that has an upside-down pineapple as a profile picture. So I'm like, okay. If anybody doesn't know, the upside-down pineapple is usually an indication of swingers. It's like, the upside-of-that. Okay, so the pie-down pineapple. Pineapple is a representation of swingers.

And if it's upside down, that means that they're open for an invite. Like, they're open to. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why is a pineapple a representation of swingers? It just is. Yeah, I don't know. It started as a door knocker. Like, if you had a pineapple door knocker on your door, that's been.

Or if you have, like, a mat, like, in front of your front door, your swingers. I did not know that. Every day's a school day. Wow. I learned something new every day. So at this point, it's like, okay, he wasn't necessarily lying in that show. was a swinger because I'm seeing this on Facebook. But I don't see him again until the next day. And he's still texting me. Like, are you going to leave me? And I'm just like, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I do speak to him the very next day. And he comes over. And I'm grilling him again for the story. Like, I don't get how this is. This just doesn't make sense to me. And I said, did you cheat on me? Did that belong to another female who you touched? And he's like, no. No, it didn't. And I said, okay. Like, I still, I did not believe him. I even went as far as being like, is this like a weird kink you have that you like to buy used underwear and like, like, because I know that exists.

It's a thing. I was like, is that? And he's like, no. I was like, because I would believe that more than your story right now. And he's like, really? I'm like, yeah, I totally would. So I'm just at this conflict because as much as like my daughter loves him, She was just telling me that he is such a great guy and she's so happy that I met him.

And it's like in at that moment, I just didn't really feel like he was cheating on me, but I did not believe his story. So then I asked him to, okay, then you need to text Chad. You need to call him actually. He called him on speaker. Chad didn't pick up. He text Chad and shows it to me. He said like, hey, dude, that joke you played on me yesterday.

And he's typing this out. And I said, the panties. He's like, well, he knows what he did. I said, no, no, no, no. Type it. The panties. Yeah. And he types it.

He's like, you almost got me in trouble. He's like, please don't do that type of stuff at my house again. Well, while we're there, Chad doesn't answer. But he answers later. And so then he sends me screenshots. Convenient. Yeah. So after that, I was like, okay, I will drop it.

I'm not going to dump you. But I'm afraid that once this adrenaline settles, I'm going to feel differently. Yeah. So in two weeks from now, I can sound to be like, no, I don't, I don't want it. Nope. I'm not comfortable. I'm done. So I said, just so you know, like, I don't know.

Yeah. Because I could totally feel differently in a week. I could be like, I forgive you. And then a week, but like, I hate you. So one of the things that he also does is he doesn't save phone numbers in his phone. He does work in sales. So he does have a lot of customers and vendors and certain stuff calling him. And I have always said, like, how do you know how to?

like contact your customer again. Yeah, wouldn't he absolutely need to save them? Yes, because I have to do that for my business that I have. And he went as far as not even saving my best friend's phone number in his phone. And I just tease him, like, can you please just save her number? Like this, it just became a thing, too, to where I just started making fun of him. The next one, the very next week, we're sitting next to each other at a baseball game. And I look over and I see that he sent a selfie to someone.

and it was a selfie that I hadn't seen. And I was like, who are you sending a selfie to? He goes, oh, this girl at my work, because he just started a new job. So he said, oh, they're putting this new profile for a system that we use in-house, and we need a picture so then we can see who it is and you can have a picture in your icon. And I was like, I have never seen that selfie. He goes, oh, I don't know. He said, I just took it and sent it.

I'm like, okay, fine, whatever. And later, I just told him, I need to see that conversation. Oh, what do he say? What do he say? What do he say? He's like, really? I said, yeah, I do. I said, this just, the whole panties thing happened.

Actually, I called it Pantygate. Pannygate happened a week ago. This needs, this episode could be called Pantygate, honestly. Panny gate, right? So I'm like, Pantygate was only a week ago. And now I'm seeing you send a selfie I have not seen to somebody else. I am not a jealous person. I am not someone that is super suspicious of everyone and everything.

And I'm very laid back. And I will believe you. Yeah, but you respect yourself enough to. Yeah, I just, I don't go crazy. Share your needs. Yeah. So it took a lot for me to ask him. I need to see that conversation.

But he sent me screenshots of it. Wait, after you were already gone? Yes. So he doctored them and then sent them. They had some backdates on them. That doesn't mean he didn't delete. anything. I can make that in Word. That legit, same.

And I wish now I can remember if it was green or blue text because he did have an iPhone, because that would tell you everything. It was green 100%. You can text yourself on one of those burner apps and make this conversation. But unfortunately, I don't remember. After he sends me that screenshot for the next couple months, nothing that

makes me suspicious happens. So my anger about Pantygate just kind of fizzles out. And then between that time and Christmas, there was just one kind of weird thing. There was one weekend that was the first weekend that I had completely and utterly open because my side business takes up some of my time to where it's like it doesn't take up all of it. But it's not like we can spend a weekend completely together because I have to stop, go, you know, deal with a client and then

come back. So I had said to him, and again, he likes FaceTime. We're on FaceTime. I said, hey, I actually have a free weekend. I don't have anything to do. No, no client stuff to do do. Do you want to just spend the whole weekend together? He makes a face. I was like, what, do you have plans? He's like, no, yeah, yeah, let's do that. I was like, well, that was a weird face. Like, do you have plans? It's fine.

If you have plans, it's fine. He goes, I didn't make a face. I said, yeah, you did. Like, I just watched your face change. And he goes, no, no, like, let's do it. I said, okay, that was probably a Wednesday. So come Friday night, I say to him, look, when I suggested that I stayed over this weekend, you acted really weird.

Almost like I was interrupting some sort of plans. Like if you ever have plans, I don't expect you to cancel them for me, but communicate it. He goes, I didn't make a face. I want you to stay. I like that we can stay a weekend together

without going on vacation. No, I like it. I was like, okay. I'm curious what level of data you're at at this point. You said it's a little now. Okay. Same level. He's very much the time where he,

if I would have moved in with him within four months, he would have been happy. But I was like, no. Like I have kids. I'm not just going to up and move in with you that quickly. But he would make jokes about it. He make jokes about getting married. So it was a thing. He would make fun of the fact that I would get really scared if he ever talked about marriage. And he'd be like, oh yeah, you know, when we get married. And I was like, unless you want to see a Kira shaped hole in that door right there, you better stop. So we come to Christmas. We spend Christmas together. So to the point where he was

involved in it. My kids were with me. He even stayed the night at my house on over Christmas Eve to Christmas morning. So he got to play Santa with me and got to be there when the kids came down the next morning. So he was there. And I open up an incredibly expensive gift from him. That we were talking like a couple grand that I didn't ask for, but I severely needed for my business. So It was a very shocking, amazing gift for him to do that. And come to find out, he actually was going with my best friend and trying to figure out to make sure, is this the one that I need to get? He was helping her. So he totally, you know, hooked up with her to figure out how to get me the right one.

To the point where she even says, oh, yeah, he was telling me how much she loves you and how he thinks that you guys are going to be living together by this time next year. and that he's never spent any kind of money on a gift like this for a woman unless it was going on her finger and that he's going to have to do that next year. So he's having this conversation with my best friend. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Which I'm fine with. You know, that doesn't bug me a bit.

No, red flags there. No, it's good. If it was a healthy relationship, that sounds perfect. And so it's two days. Oh, Ashley, on Christmas Day, he hosts my family. family at his house. Wow. So he does nice. Yes, because he, you know, a long story on how that happened. He's like, I offered his home. We all ended up at his house for, for Christmas. So we're over there, you know, all that happens. It is two days after Christmas. Oh, God. My stomach is

a knife. I am sitting on my couch with my kids. It's like 7 p.m. You know, just in an evening, went to work that day, come home. And I'm scrolling on Facebook. Just, you know, the whole mindless scrolling that you do on Facebook. Of course. When I don't want to watch it, my kids are watching on TV. Yeah. We can all relate. Yeah.

So I'm scrolling on Facebook. And here's where we'll get into. There are these groups on Facebook. I'm not sure if you've heard of him. Yes, we have. That are called, are we dating the same guy? Yes. There's one for every city.

Check it out if you haven't. Multiple. I mean, it's just in the Portland area only. There are several different groups for these cities, that city's down here, up here. I mean, it's across the U.S. that they have for all different parts of the city. I am in so many of those groups. And it's a time suck. And it's so much entertainment.

It's so sad. It's so entertaining. Oh, my God. I think it's sad that how many posts there are. Like there are times where I'll see something and then try to go back to it. And there have been so many posts since, like, yesterday. I'm like, oh. And then frequent flyers where you're like, this guy was posted like two months ago.

You're like, oh, I've seen him before. He got a haircut. Right. I remember this. And so Jacob is well aware of these groups because I told him about it. There was one time I was scrolling in bed with him and this guy showed up that I went on a date with back in like 2021. And I was like, oh, dude, I know this guy.

And I was reading the comments and I'm like, he had a girlfriend. And this is like right in front of Jacob. I'm like, he had a girl. We went on a date and he kissed me and he had a girlfriend. Oh my God. And Jacob's probably like, what? That's terrible.

He said all the right things. He's like, oh, that guy's dumb. Like, you know. Yeah. So he is well aware of these groups. I've talked about it multiple times. I know he's heard me and my friends kind of talk about it because I pulled them into those groups because it could be great entertainment and a very good tool.

So that being said, I'm back to being on my couch at 7 p.m. on a Wednesday. And I'm scrolling on my Facebook feeds. So, you know, if you follow a lot of groups, what your friends post show up, what, like, the groups post show up. So I'm just, I'm literally just on my feed, just scrolling. And suddenly his face pops up. And I'm like, I'd look and I realize it is in one of those groups. In one of the, are we dating the same guy, Facebook groups, there is a screenshot of Jacob's Tinder profile. Oh my God.

And I stare at the photo. And I, I'm almost starting to feel it again right now. I am feeling this rush of head from head to toe. I know the feeling. We all know the feeling. And I'm just, and again, oh, yeah, I'm on the couch with my kids. And I'm one that I don't bring them into my drama at all. And so I'm looking at it and it's posted by an anonymous poster and I see that there are four comments on it.

Oh no. So I open it up and I read them. And at least two of them are pretty obvious that is during the time that we were together. So at this point, I go in my room because I have a daughter in high school. She can read my poker face. Yeah. So I go into my room. I reach out to all four of them.

I can't reach out to the anonymous poster because, of course, that person's anonymous. I reach out to all four of them, just, you know, DM, having no idea when they're actually going to respond because we're not Facebook friends. Yeah. And three of them respond within about 10 to 15 minutes. Oh, my God. What did they say? What did they say?

One of them said, oh, yeah, I went out on a date with him in September. And we just didn't go out again. I wasn't really interested. And I just didn't really think he looked like his picture. And I was like, do you drive a black truck? And she's like, no. I was like, did you ever go to his house? She goes, no, I didn't.

Okay. You're like, yeah. Haven't solved panty yet. You didn't quite ask what colors your underwear, but I'm sure we'll find the cold Brett. So then another responds, and she says like, oh, yeah, we kind of dated in the fall of 2022, but I found him a little too needy. And so we just kind of stopped dating.

But he still reaches out to me every month or so. and wants to go out. And I just kept telling him no. So she sends me screenshots. So this is end of December from November 1st and their Facebook messenger. And he says to her on November 1st, thinking of you today.

Ew. That bastard. We need to go for drinks when I get back. I'm going out to dinner tonight with my kids. Well, no, it was a Thursday. He was going out to dinner with me. or whatever. And she says to me, he wanted to get together in December. She's like, I feel like it was around like the 15th or 16th, but then he changed it to like the 18th, but then we never met

up. She's like, I never ended up going out with him. And so that rings the bell when she says those dates. Because that was the weekend that I told you guys about where I was totally free. And when I asked him if he wanted to spend the weekend together, he acted a little weird like I was maybe intruding on some other plans. Well, it makes sense now. because this woman, he had to change the date because he was going to be with his girlfriend all weekend. So he couldn't see her that day. He had to change it to a Monday. So then the other, the third person that responds, she tells me that her and her friend had gone over to his house like end of March. So March, I will say, probably a little bit of a gray area because it's not that we were necessarily

exclusive, but he led me to believe he was not dating anybody else. We probably had to talk about it right around then, and I wasn't dating anyone else either. So we were kind of like, oh, well, we're already exclusive then. And I'm sure it was a ride around then, but I couldn't tell you when. So she tells me that her and her friend go over to his house. And she's like, and then we do things. I was like, like, do things, swinging things with red panties. Right. And so she's like, yeah, we do some sexual things, but we didn't have sex. But then he was like really interested in my friend, and he kept pursuing her. Like, he would go to her work and he would do. take her out to lunch.

And even one time he, like, showed up to her work because she was hoping that he was going to, like, schlop on his knob for him as a lunch favor. Oh. Yeah. And I said, well, how long did that last then? She goes into, like, May. I feel like it was around Mother's Day when it stopped. Okay.

We went to Mexico in May. He spent Mother's Day with me. So at this point, I am just, I'm shamed. I'm furious. There is no way that I'm going to be able to sit on this at all. So I decide that I'm going to go to his house. I give some excuse to my daughter. I was like, oh, like my best friend, her tire got flat and she just needs some help, but I'm just going to go help her. So I leave. At this point, I do turn my location off because he can see my location. I can't see his, but he can see mine. I shut it off because I don't want him to see me coming if he decides to look. But I call him. Right, of course. FaceTime him in the car.

And he's on his couch. And he's like, hey, like, we know what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, yeah. Like we have a little chit chat. And I was like, hey, you know what? Let me call you back. And he's like, okay. And we just hang up.

So cool. He's home. So I keep driving. And I show up at his door and I knock on it very vigorously. Like, this is not a like surprise knock. It is like open the down. door. So he comes and he opens the door and he's looking like he was sleepy, his like sleepy eyes. And I said, we need to talk. And so I just walk in and walk right past him. And he's like,

let me just go to the bathroom. I was like, you need to go to the bathroom right now. He's like, yeah. I was like, oh, convenient. So he goes into the bathroom. Going to wipe his phone. Comes and he, you know, sits down, just happens to sit down on his stairs. And I say to him, and this is, this is word for word. And I said, so, tell me. When we move in together, I need to know exactly how you planned to still continue to date, pursue, and fuck other women. How is that going to work? I love you. And he looks at me.

He goes, what? I was like, Jacob, you're caught. You can't. We'll go your way out. Busted. Kira said you're busted. Fully done. Okay.

But I'm sure he's going to try. Deny. deny deny deny everything now because of the way this group is i'm not showing him who these women are and what they say i'm keeping it concealed he does know that i saw him on there the only thing that i show him is the screenshot of like his face and it just says anonymous number but not in a member but not any comments and i said this is tinder and it says right now this photo of you was when you went to Coachella in April. You sent this selfie to me. You didn't even post it on social media. In April, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We were together. We were in a relationship.

Right here, it says 47. You have only been 47 for a month. So you can't tell me this is an old profile so you need to explain literally still denying he even has what is his excuse does he say that they like photoshopped it and like or does he just keep saying no uh no no no i didn't do anything he's like what are you looking at yeah i don't see it oh my god and i even said so you need to say these women who don't know each other just decided hey let's just pick this random dude and make this post and make his life a living hell like do i look like i got stupid bit across my forehead. No. And he even says, like, I can't believe that you don't know me well enough. I said, I don't know. Oh, he's there. Now he's turning it around on you. I know nothing about

you, but now I do. But he literally for an hour, he is denied, denied, denied. So I ask him, okay, let me see your phone. And he's like, no, wait. He's like, hesitant. I said, you have always told me whenever I wanted to look at your phone, you would hand it over, no problem. He's like, We're not under this context. I said, what other context would I need to look at your phone? Literally, this is the context. This is literally a good example of the context. This is why you talk about phone, like, transparency.

So you can believe each other when these things come up. Ah! Okay. Exactly. So I do get his phone. And what I do is I go to his text messages. And I go to, you know, if you're an iPhone, I go to edit. I go to recently deleted.

everybody take mental note that that is a thing you can do just say yes and keep listening to this because i'm going to give you some tips so pencils out i see a whole bunch of deleted numbers that weren't saved so you have about it says up to 40 days but you have 30 days before what's in your deleted will automatically delete so if you see all the way to the right it's going to give you the countdown of how many days you have left until that is going to be deleted. All of them said 30 days. All of them. That means he just deleted them. I said, oh, convenient, you had to go to the bathroom. At that point, I really don't have a desire to go through his text messages because you know what? There's probably a lot. And I don't need to. These three women, if I was the only women I spoke to, that was enough where I was done.

I didn't need anything else. But I went to the Facebook messenger. I put in the female's name and I came up with the exact messages that she set me. And I said, explain this. And then I immediately X out of it. And he was like, oh, I just, I mean, I didn't, it's just casual. Like I didn't really mean. It was just a friendly thing.

I said, oh, okay. So I can talk to my male friends that way. It's okay if my male friends text me, I'm thinking of you today. We need to go for drinks. I went by this store and I thought of you. Like, he's like, oh, that was my bad. I shouldn't have that conversation, but I haven't cheated on you. And again, he is still giving me no explanation.

And he's just sitting there. At one time, he's looking down. And I said, I'm sure you have this turmoil in your head. Do you just cop up to it? Do you just admit it or, hmm, how am I going to get out of this? I said, let's just save it and just tell me the truth. Again, deny, deny, deny. No explanation.

And I'll tell you, I will tell you, I can't even tell you how many times I have said to him in conversations, Panny Gate included, make this makes sense. I need you to make it make sense. And he can never make it make sense. So at this point, I need to go because I did leave my kids and I, you know, my daughter was texting me, hey, like, when are you coming back? How is everything going with your friend? And so I'm like, I need to go. And he's like, are you leaving me? And I said, you need to tell me that in truth right now.

I said, you know what? I got to go. And I just walk out. And he's like, don't leave. Don't leave. But he says it very robotically, like standing there, don't go. Don't leave. And I'm just like, what's wrong with you?

And I get in the car and I just drive off. Then he- He got got. Yeah. And then he calls me. And he is crying. He is like, okay, I'll admit that I did talk to a few girls. but we just went out on dates and we just kissed and I didn't have sex with any of them.

And I was like, oh. Okay. I was like, cool. Tell me their names. What are the names? He's like, well, I don't really remember. I said, no. Tell me their names.

So he tells me three names. And I was like, oh, cool, that is not the names of any of the women I've spoken to. Oh, no. Yeah, completely different names. Like, he could even, like, get them mixed up so far apart. Like, an Ashley to one, Michelle. Like, you can't mix up those two names. You know what I mean?

Oh, my God. So I, at this point, I'm definitely, I'm just, I'm just laying into him. Like, you went on dating apps, like what is wrong with you? How is it that you can, you know, telling me that you want this future with me, telling my best friend all of this stuff. And then you do this. He's like, oh, I just, I stopped. I haven't done anything in the last month.

At least, I just, I stopped. I haven't. I said, then who posted you? Because I'll tell you, I didn't see the post until seven days later. posted on December 20th. I saw it on the 27th. So I said, who posted you? Because that's recent. And again, once again, it said 47. You've only been 47 for a month. And still going with that. Oh, God. And at this point, I just like, I need to get off the phone. I'm trying to drive. I actually missed my exit because I was so furious. And so I get off the phone. I get home. I have to

pretend like everything's fine with my kids. And I, you know, I make sure they're in bed. And then him and I just kind of start texting back and forth. He's groveling like I have a problem and please forgive me. Can we go to therapy? I knew he was going to ask that. I was waiting for that. And he's going to be like, we can fix this.

Just I know I'm, I do want to fix it with you. Yeah. There's. Yes. He's so predictable. And all of that. And I'm just cold. I am mad.

I am ruthless. I am. not, I didn't even cry. I wasn't even like the sobbing upset. Well, do you do this to me? No, I was just, I saw red. I just saw red. So the next day, I'm going to work and he's still groveling and grovelling and and at this point, my best friends are aware what's going on. And I said to her, I want to post something on that post to let people know. I can't do it right now. I just can't put words together right now. So she goes on there and she just says, hey, this man is with my best friend since February 2023, he even like all this things. So that prompts

the anonymous poster to respond and she starts saying, oh yeah, we've been talking for the last like three weeks. And then I just say, hey, I'm the best friend. Can you message me to the anonymous poster? And she does. So she tells me, oh yeah, I met him on Tinder. And, and And we've been talking since she looks. She goes, oh, it was December 10th. We've been talking since December 10th. She sends me the selfies. He sent her.

One of them I took. What? No, that's insulting. Disgusting. Jail. I took that one of you and your kid. And she's sending me screenshots. So there's this one night, his son and his friends were over at his house playing

video games. And he sends me a video that night. It was in December. He sends it to me. And I was like, oh, gosh, that's a one. a whole lot of teenagers, testosterone, like, you know, making comments. She goes, oh, yeah, he sent me this video, too. It was the same one he sent to me on the same night.

So he was taking a video of his son and his friends and texting it to all the women he's speaking to. So she says, I even talked to him yesterday, which, of course, is the day that I found out and I confronted him sent me those screenshots. She's like, I sent him this earlier today, basically just saying, like, I don't think you have time for me. So I'm going to go. She tells me that he told her, and she sends me the screenshots, actually. I read. He said, oh, yeah, I have family flying in on Friday, and they're going to stay at my house,

and they're going to stay until Tuesday. And I was like, he didn't have any family flying in for Christmas. In fact, he hosted mine at his house. But he told her family was flying. Gosh. Oh, my God. Absolutely disgrace. So I, like, I'm telling him.

Hey, so like, you know, looks like you were talking to someone as soon as this. And still, he's still, he's just denying. He tries to FaceTime me while I'm at work. And I'm just like, I don't want to see your face right now. Then he gets to the point where he is going to start to alluding to hurting himself. Oh, no. And this is all text message. Oh, God.

And so I decide to take a screenshot and send it to his ex-wife. And at this point, I have her phone number. Her and I, great terms. I helped her with a Christmas gift from the kids to him. So we had each other's number. We chatted. I even dropped the gift off at her house so then she can wrap it from the kids and the kids and give it to him.

Like, we have a good rapport starting. So I sent a tour and I just say, hi, I'm really sorry to bring you into this. I wasn't going to reach out to you because it's not appropriate. But this is where he's at right now. I don't really believe him. I think this is for attention, but I'm doing my due diligence and I'm letting someone know. And that is you. So she responds, can you talk?

Like, why, yes, I can talk. Does your stomach fall out of your butt? Are you like, oh, no, no. A little bit. And a part of me is like, I got some questions. Let's talk. So she tells me that they did not separate in August 2021. They separated in October 2022 after she kicked him out for cheating on her for the fifth or six

times that she is aware of. And that's when you met him. That's when I met him. This man was moving out of his marital home, lost his family, his family life, all of that, and still dating like everything is just hunky dory. Fine and dandy. I'm doing good. I got my new place.

And he just lost everything. Yeah. And made an excuse for everything. That made sense. Because I feel like he was starting to believe his own stories sometimes. It sounds like he was that good at it. At this point, yeah. I'm sure he did.

So she does tell me that they did not have a don't ask, don't tell. Surprise, surprise. The Alice woman that he was with for two years was actually seven years. They had a seven year affair. Oh, that's a big difference. Yes. So I in my head, I'm like, I fucking knew it. I knew it.

And so she said to me she just didn't want to like lose her family life in the kids. But and which again, whatever her reasons were are her business. And that's fine. She made her decision. I told her, you don't have to explain yourself to me. So yeah. So that's what, and I do tell her like, yeah, he told me that you guys had, you know, I don't ask, don't tell.

and I'm like the only reason why I believe is because I had friends in the situation. So that conversation was pretty quick because she had to go. She was on her way to somewhere and she had to go. So that night, that's still the very next day. It's Thursday night. Him and I kind of text a little bit that night and I send him this long text of goodbye. Like you did ABC. I am done with you and I'm never going to look back.

And he just starts answering really weird. Like he's a man that does not do typos. Like he does not have the typos. I have the typos, but he does not. And he starts texting, like, incoherently. I'm like, are you drunk? He just isn't making sense. And at this point, he's like, oh, you know, I know that I did stuff wrong, so I can just go ahead and fuck off.

Well, okay. So I'm, that's it. I stopped texting him. I was done on Thursday night. And then Friday comes. And his ex-wife reaches out to me. She said, can I ask you a few questions? And I said, yeah, sure.

And she's like, can I call you? I feel like this is going to be long. And I said, yeah, absolutely. So she does ask me a few questions that pertains to like, kind of like finances and a little, a few stories that have happened while we were together. And she wants answers on those. So I don't know how we end up starting to talk about certain stuff, but whatever, nonetheless, we start comparing notes. Oh, no. I ask him, you know, he told me his mom died.

Like, do you think that that, like, put him through whatever she goes, his mom's not. not dead. Oh my God. I was like, what? She's like, no. Let me look. Hold on. I could tell you the last time I talked to her.

And she goes through a text message. She goes, oh, yeah, I text her in August 2023. I was like, well, according to him, she died in 2022. He's like, let me text her right now. And I was like, oh. She texts her, hey, just checking in. Are you? I don't know.

Dead? Dead. Dead. Are you guys? Happened. Just checking. Just checking. She ended up, the mom did text her back.

It was after our conversation. She did send me the screenshot and said, oh, look, his dead mom responded. And I was like, the saying of the year, look, his dead mom responded. That is crazy. And karma better get his ass for lying about all of this. Legit. Especially. Oh, girls, I'm not even done.

Are you ready? Buckle up. No, I'm not ready. Let's go. Do I need to take a laugh? Oh, my God. Right? Hold on.

Let me get comfortable. again. Take out my jacket. It's hot in here. So once I find that out, I'm like, okay, let me tell you this. He told me he was in the Marines. She goes, he wasn't a Marine. Oh, no.

Oh, no. What? She goes, he was never in the Marines. She says, he tells me, she didn't know him then, that he went to boot camp and he hurt his ankle and they let him go, which, by the way, anyone that's listening to this knows that's not how it works. But that's what he told her. He told me that he was in for four years.

So I tell his ex-wife the whole story. He told me about the job he had in the Marines where he made that bad call and a bunch of people died. And now he has PTSD. And she says, no, he didn't do any of that. The job you just described is actually the job my sister did in the Air Force. And she goes as far as telling me, I will tell you that my sister's position was classified. she couldn't talk about it. So if that ever happened to her, she doesn't talk about it.

So he took that position, made it his, made up the story so he could have PTSD. Oh, that is disgusting. Wait, was the cancer real? So then I say, he tells me he went for four years. And then he got out because he had non-Hodgkins lymphoma. He goes he never had cancer. How do you lie? You should write a book because he has an imagination.

Karma is going to get his ass. What is going on? Oh, Jesus. So I'm like, okay, he told me that he went to a university in New Mexico and he played baseball in college and he did graduate with a polyside degree and let me tell you it's on his LinkedIn. She goes, no, he didn't. He told me he went for a year and dropped out. What the hell is going on? So who is this guy?

I don't even know what to say at this point. And I probably started laughing. I was probably just like, I don't know. I don't know what's going on. And so I do ask her a little bit later about a photo that he showed me. He did show a photo what looked like a picture of a computer screen. So it was like a really crappy picture of a picture that looked like it was on a computer screen. Like he took a picture of the computer screen.

And it was him in like a military get up. And he said, oh, yeah, here's the picture of me from boot camp. So I said to her, I was like, hey, you know what? He showed me this picture. And she goes, oh, did it look like it was a yearbook photo? Oh, no. Actually, yeah. She goes, oh, that was from high school.

He went to military boarding school for a year. Oh, my God. I was like, what the hell? And my best friend's husband is a Marine. And he is very high up in logistics to where he can look up who is in the military. So he was deployed and then he was on leave. So he comes back from leave. Once he's back, first thing he does, he says, yeah, sorry, Kira.

No such thing. In the Marines. He's like, I set it up to headquarters and they confirmed. He's never been in the Marines. So he completely fabricated. He didn't even go to boot camp. that would show up. So I do mama digging

and I go on the university's website that he went on. Good for you, Kira. Mm-hmm. And what do you know? They will tell you past, current and present, you know, and all those students

I put in his name, guess whose name did not show up? I know that Susie Smith went to, you know, a summer session in 1984, but his name did not show up. So I tell his I relay back to her his sex wife by the way he didn't even go and we're confident. I

sounds like at this point you know it's his real name like there's a part of me that's like is he even who he said there right and the only thing that I can say is because he did get married so he like has you know the legal yeah yes and and because I am who I am I also I love who you are I love his divorce and I know exactly when she filed and all that stuff. So I have their nakes right on there. Love that. Love that. Right.

By the way, it's very easy to find that out. So this is all on a Friday. So again, like a couple days after I find him on, are we dating the same guy? And at this point, I did post on that post a comment and just like, hi, let me just tell you what I've been going through the past two days. I don't put all that information out there because I just, I'm not going to, spill all the beans. And plus it was something that his ex-wife had told me and I just wasn't going to. However, I did ask her later because it dawned on me. I said, you know what? He told me he had a vasectomy. Has he had a vasectomy? And she said, no, and you're the second person that has asked

me that. Oh my God, shut up. I was like, what the hell is happening? That's horrible. I protect myself. So I am good. I'm going to have no surprises. But who does that? Also, we've talked about that before because consent requires information. Like, you have to be fully informed consent. So that's non-consensual. And I'm so like all of this is terrible, but that's horrible.

When we go back to Alice, he told me one of the reasons why things started to go downhill is that she wound up pregnant. And it couldn't be his because he had a vasectomy. So she found out he. She has other toys and then they stopped. So this has been discussed multiple times about the fact that he's had a vasectomy. So when I do post on that post, all I say is if he tells you he had a vasectomy, he has not. I feel like women need to know that. Yeah.

Because not everybody is on control. Yeah. That's kind of a big deal. Yeah. So now that I've basically outed myself, I am starting to get private messages from women. They're not posting on the post. They're just private messaging me. And as of right now, I am up to 14 women that I have spoken to.

Holy shit! I will say two of them I've spoken to were during the time he was still married and they had no idea. And one of those women tells me, who also thinks he's a Marine, I said, well, he's not. She also tells me he told me he had testicular cancer. Oh my God, he had all the cancers, the shoulders cancer. What's next? Wow, wow, wow. So this is where I really realize how calculated he is. Because he couldn't tell me he had testicular cancer because an ex-boyfriend of mine had testicular cancer. And I know what it's like to be with someone on the aftermath of it.

No way, really? Oh, man. Yeah. So I know what it's like. I'd be like, dude, why do you have both your balls. What happened with you that lets you? I mean, Lance Armstrong has one. So he couldn't tell me that because I have experience with someone who has had it in the past. So he had to change. He catered his manipulation to suit you and your background and what you would be sympathetic to. Absolutely. He is very methodical and calculated in his lying. So I didn't speak to him all Friday. I didn't speak to him on Saturday. So on Saturday, he sends me a text. It's like one in the afternoon. And he says, well, I wasn't supposed to wake up this morning. But so I guess that's another thing I failed to make you happy at. And that's it. That is so manipulative. I did not respond.

And he still has not heard from me since. I think that is. Oh my God. Obviously, this is not the, I'm sure you know, this is not the first time this has come up in a story like this where somebody will use that threat. And I mean, you have to protect yourself. And also it's manipulative. Like, it's so, and horrible. And he, the thing is, is that he knew I have gone through that before with the same X that

has the head, the cancer. And he knew how I felt about it. And then he goes and does it himself. Like, I'm not going to give you attention over that. I'm just not. And I didn't say a word. But as time is going on, like, women are seeing the post and they're reaching out to me. One girl said, oh, yeah, something's very.

simple as like, yeah, I know I spoke to him in July because it was around July 4th. So just so you know, he was on dating apps in the summer. Another woman had said, yeah, I know that we went on a date in the summertime, but I never saw him again. So at this point, I'm basically, I have found, you know, right now I'm a total, it's 14 women. Their stories are starting to sound so familiar. Yeah. So similar.

Can I ask a personal question? Like you don't have to answer this if you don't want to. I'm open. Was he using the I'm like I've had a vasectomy to like have unprotected sex? I don't know. One woman told me who was that from that fall. She told me he never told me he had a vasectomy because I told him I wanted to wait until it's on birth control. And then, but there was another woman that said, oh yeah, he told me that and that he had a

vasectomy when he really had it. But was she on birth control? I wonder if like if the woman was on birth control, he might be like, well, I have a sex to me, but just not wanting to use a condombo. I don't remember if she did. I'm not sure. But one thing that I'm also noticing with these women that talk to me is that there's me, he properly dated.

We went on on dates and he never called me 11 o'clock at night. You know, can you come over? But these women, that's what he was doing. 11 o'clock, he's wanting them to come over. A few of them said, it seemed like he only wanted to meet up when it was sex. So I just got tired of it. and I stopped. And then two girls said, yeah, but he still reaches out to me every now and then to see if I want to hook up.

Oh, my God. I have another question. Okay. Did any of them wear red panties? Getting there. Okay. She's not done, Hannah, calm down. I was like, we have to find the panties.

So, then it's kind of quiet, which in a way, like, it's not too bad. But at this point, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just. no longer in discovery phase. So I'm not looking for anything. I'm just, I'm done. But it was about mid-January that I wake up one morning to a Facebook message from a girl. And her name is Ali. And she said, I would like to know your involvement with Jacob and his last name because

I think he has been playing me for months. Oh. And I was like, okay. Because I'll tell you, at this point, I'm only hearing about random woman he went on dates with, maybe hooked up with. I haven't found a consistent person yet. Ali is one of them. He met her in September. So I said, do you have a black truck?

Oh, she goes, yeah, actually, I do. Oh, my God, that's the black truck. Except for, I took a picture of the black truck. So I find it, and I sent it to her this year truck? She goes, actually, no, that's a Chevy. I drive a toy. but I guess he's got another black truck. Oh, no.

And I was, what? Yeah. And I was like, okay, so did you leave you red panties in his room? She goes, no, I don't think so. I never wore red panties. Now you're both like, who has the red panties in the black truck? Gross. No one knows anything.

That means there's more people. Yes, yes. So he seemed to play her even more than he played me. And we just discovered I was his main. She was his sidepiece. and he still continued to pursue and date and speak to other women. She thought Thursday nights were sports night with his son. I said, no, those were date nights with me.

She thought he had COVID over Christmas. I was all worried how sick he was. I said, nope, here's some photos of how he spent Christmas with me. Oh, no. And she's like, yeah, he's always with his kids. I said, no, he's not. He is not always with his kids. he's on dates or he's working or he's on dates or he's with me.

So I said, were you guys official? Did he tell you that he loved you? And she goes, no, he never said he loved me, but all he would say is I was his. And that was it. And she's like, I was with him like a few times last week too. I said, have you noticed in the last month he's suddenly more available? She goes, actually, yeah. I said that's because I'm no longer around.

Oh, my God. I'm so glad she got connected to the. as sad as it is. Yes, but that, I'll tell you that hit me hard. Yeah. That one really hit me because now I'm learning that I was at his house Thursday night and she was sleeping the same bed Friday night. I was, she was there on Wednesday.

I was there on Thursday. There was probably some mornings I left his house at 6 in the morning to go to work and she said she'd come over in the morning. Ew. So that is just messing with my head. Was I naive enough to think that she, someone like her didn't exist? Of course not. But when you hear it, it just hits.

So she ends up having her best friend tell him off. And his response has been, because some of the women have sent me screenshots of either they, once they find out who he is, they've text them and said, hey, like, what the hell? You had a girlfriend. He says word for word, don't believe everything you read on the internet. Oh, I'm supposed to believe you instead. Loser. Yeah, I was like, I believe all these women. I believe every single woman who have spoken to me, all of them.

And I told those women, well, you know what? You spoke to me. You didn't just read it off the internet. We had a conversation. So we kind of go through that. And literally the very next week, I get another dreadful DM. At this point, I'm just like, I don't want to keep. I will always answer these women's questions.

If it's a year from now, I will answer these women's questions because I was that woman just three weeks ago. Hell yeah, and that's how we support one another as women. No matter how much it kind of brings me back to that place, I don't care. You ask, girl, I'm going to tell you. Thank you. So there's a woman her name is Riley. She reaches out and she said, hey, I just wanted to ask you about the post and are we dating the same guy? Because I just started dating Jacob.

And you said to get tested, did you end up with something? And I was like, no, I didn't. But he's been with a lot of women. And he's not disclosing to anyone. Yeah. And so she tells me their first date was January 2nd. Oh. So remember, he had a failed suicide attempt on December 30th.

Oh, my God. Boy, does he recover quickly. Yeah, bullshit. And she says, like, we have been talking and I tried to break it off with him. And he just went full, what she says is PTSD on him. I have abandonment issues. I did this. I did that.

Please don't. And she ended up kind of staying with him. But then she sees this. And she said, okay, I'm going to text him and tell him. I was like, well, he's going to tell you not to believe everything you read on the internet. And so I hear from her the next day. She goes, guess what he said? Like, I already knew it.

That's almost hilarious if it wasn't so fucked up. Yeah. It's just, I'm just, I don't know. who this person is. And also, what the hell was he doing when he was supposed to be in college in the military? I had asked his ex-wife that. And she's like, I don't know. I don't think I want to know. Because the only thing that can be accounted for is from the time she met him until now. Yeah. Woo! Yeah. So that's kind of where it ends. Oh, my God. I don't know. I just don't, I don't understand this thought process at all. But he has got a sickness. This man is,

second. This is a grown ass man. This is not like a 20 year old, 30 year old man. Oh, my lord. Wait, so the panties we it's one of the... I cannot with him. So basically it's like not only whereas there the cheating,

but there was also the fact that he lied about everything. He's a total dogfish. I don't believe us thing about his life. And honestly, I'm so mad. I still haven't really cried over it. I'm just mad. Like, I'm not an angry person. So for me to be that angry, like, I just want to throw things at his face.

So I'm just, and hindsight's 2020, and he did have a lot of conventional red flags and some unconventional red flags. And some of it I do attribute to our age. And it's not something that I think that would necessarily be a red flag for someone who is younger. An unconventional red flag is That this, so like I had said before, he lived in a house that was three bedrooms. And the two other bedrooms stayed empty because his kids never made their room there. They never stayed there. So I always said, you have like a glorified one bedroom apartment because it was a house. But like, because you have your downstairs and you just have your master bedroom and you don't even use the whole bathroom that's meant for the other two rooms.

And, you know, he has zero access to the mother-in-law suite. So he had a cleaning lady come once so. And I never thought anything of it before, but it dawned on me. She always came on Thursdays. Like right before you got there? Yeah. Can never find an eyelash or hair if his house is cleaned once a week. He's like a typical bachelor.

His house doesn't get dirty enough. The panties are still like, like, yeah. Were the panties the cleaning ladies? Right? Never figured out who the panties were. Could you imagine. She probably, I would love if the cleaning lady saw how much she was cheating. It was just like, I'm just going to leave these kids.

And just like, oh, you know what? But so that is a little like unconventional. And I do feel like the FaceTime is definitely a red flag. And the reason is, which I'm sure most people know this, but I'm just going to say it anyway. If you FaceTime someone, it doesn't show up on your phone bill as a conversation. Because it's I mess. No, I did not know that. Yes.

I'm learning so much. message. It's well because FaceTime is through data and it's through Wi-Fi. It has nothing to do with your phone service. That's why you can actually Wi-Fi on an iPad that doesn't have a data package. Because it's literally through Wi-Fi. So even though him and I were not at a spot where we were living together and shared a phone bill, he was setting a precedent that he always FaceTimed. This is crazy. Even my best friend. So it's all these things that he is. is doing and it's calculated. It's so calculated.

This is such a good, I mean, it's a terrible story. But it is, there are so many parts of this that are so good to learn from. Absolutely. And you know what? There's so many things are public record. If you just look deep enough. And it's, I think we have to be okay. Like looking and obviously nobody is expecting this.

And we don't want to go into relationships expecting this. Like, we're just covering our ass. It's hard being a skeptical person because that's not ever who I've been. I just haven't been someone that is skeptical unless it's like really shady. And then sometimes I am, Kira. Oh, right. Right. They're like little.

That's what you think, but little. Welcome here. And he did end up blocking me on Facebook and on Instagram because I went to go block him because he was trying to like follow me and he was tagging me. things on like groups and stuff. So I went to go block him and he had already blocked me. So I'm like sweet. But you know what, babe, go ahead. Block me

with the fingers that could not make me finish. Go right ahead. Oh, that's the biggest dating detective's burn. Also, just goes to show you like it doesn't matter how much practice you have because he was practicing. That's for sure. And he's still fucking stuck. Common theme.

I just, oh. So yeah. So how do you feel about the are we dating the same guy groups on Facebook or whatever. How do you feel about them now? I mean, I definitely look at them less as entertainment and a lot more as this is a tool that pretty much saved me because I don't know how long it would have taken for me to find this out.

And while we were not anywhere near necessarily moving in together, but had I moved in with him and then found this out, I would have just uprooted my kids just to uproot them again. And it just, it saved me so much. And these women were so amazing on telling me screenshots. Like he actually at one point had gone back through his roster. And one of the women that I had spoken to, she like, two weeks later, was like, oh, look, he's at it again. And she sent me screenshots. So he was like, hey, what's up?

And she told him, hey, I saw you and you have a problem. And a person said, yeah. Yeah. So he. Oh, dumb, dumb. Right? So I do know that he. he's gotten a lot of flock for this, which makes me happy.

But it's just one of those. I just don't know when I would have found all of this out. And you know, you feel like a fool. You feel like you're dumb. Like, especially some of the things that I'm saying. Like, it does make me look bad. But whatever, it's just. No, it doesn't.

It doesn't make you look bad. This has nothing to do with you being dumb or, yeah. This is. Yeah. You're a victim of him. Like, yes. Yeah. And you can make a mistake.

That doesn't mean you deserve this kind of treatment. Like, you can overlook one. red flag. That doesn't mean that, like, he's the only thing wrong with this situation. It's true. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is so crazy. Yeah, it's, it is. I just, all this all happened in like three weeks. So it's like, I got a few blows and I got big blows and I continue to get blows. I haven't heard from someone in about a month now. But I think eventually I'm not going to be relevant to people's stories. So this ended not that long ago at all, right? Yeah. Two months Two months ago.

Yep. Woo! I was going to ask like, how are you feeling about getting back out there? But like, you don't have to right now. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I would not be a good person to date right now. That's okay.

I don't blame you. Date yourself. You deserve. You deserve to treat yourself as long as you want. And also, I will commend you. You seem like such an amazing mom in the fact that you even like, even just the moment of like getting. up and leaving the couch to protect your children from what you're going through is it's courageous

and I hope you give yourself credit for that. Yeah, they don't need to be in my drama. They'd be as innocent as possible. That's the way I look at it. But, but yeah, so that's where I'm at now. And yeah. Oh, my God. Can we go like TP his house with red underwear? No, we would never do that because we are abiding, law abiding citizens, and that was a joke that Hannah made. Well, I mean, McKenzie is, but what about me? But wouldn't be funny? Kira's like, just make sure everyone knows.

Just make sure everyone on that block knows. They probably do. That's the thing. It's probably so cool. It's just so gross. Kira, do you have any thing you'd want to say if you met somebody else going through something like this, unraveling something like this, support, wisdom, whatever.

One is, of course, the cliche of follow your gut. Your instincts are there for a reason. Don't think that you're crazy. Don't think that it's your damage from another relationship talking. If there is something eating at you, it is for a reason. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to do a little digging on your own. I would tell women to just not be afraid to voice themselves.

Don't be afraid to ask them and fear that they're going to get mad at you or leave you because they probably are doing you a favor. It's true. It's so true. Life is too short to be putting up with bullshit. We don't have to. Thank you so much, Kira. We appreciate you coming on and telling your story.

You're hilarious and you deserve so much better. Thank you. Thank you. I personally would date you for your sarcasm. I love it. Yeah, Kyra is single. We think you're funny. Thank you.

You're amazing. I'll be here all week. We need a dating, like the bumble BFF. We need like a dating detective's BFF. And like we have our own group of like, if you just want friends, just come here. But that's basically what the Patreon is. Yeah, I'm going to say.

I think it's Patreon. Literally. Oh, man. Thanks, girl. We're going to need to, we're going to need to hear updates from you in the future. Like if you start dating or whatever, please let us know how you're doing. We want to hear all the people. I will. Yes, absolutely.

Thank you so much. We love you. Oh, love you too. Thank you for having me. I so appreciate it. Hopefully I won't have any more juicy stories. Send us only boring updates, please. Right.

I'll tell us. Bye, Kira. Thank you. Okay. First of all, how awful, like, how crappy does that make you feel? You know what I mean? But, like, also, can we talk about the Facebook groups? What are your thoughts on the Facebook groups?

No, are we dating the same guy Facebook groups? Lord. I love them. I mean, I love that they're helping save people. Honestly, like there are so many stories. We've gotten so many submissions of stories where people have cited those pages as being way more than just entertainment. I know we talked about how when it's not about you, it seems entertaining.

And I don't think that's a bad thing because it's kind of a similar service to what we do. Like we're helping educate each other and keep each other on the lookout. And then also, for some people, literally helping avoid dogfish. What do you think? No, I think it's such a valuable resource when used properly. Like, obviously, I think it's possible that some people might be mad at someone and just post him up there. But from what I understand, it's actually been really useful in helping a lot of women

find out that they are being dogfish and scammed. And what a great way for women to come together and support each other. And we always say women because we get a majority of female listeners, but I want to make it clear if you are a male, we will support you as well if you want to tell your story. Well, I was thinking about that. I wonder if there are any pages that are like, are we dating the same gay guy?

Are we dating the same girl? Yeah. Like I don't know. But I do think it's a good resource. In this case, obviously, it really brought out like, oh my gosh, all the secrets were revealed. And some guys now are like trying to get these pages taken down and claiming their what defamation, like legally trying to get them taking down. How like how does that work? Yeah. Like and then but that's where I would be so curious to know a little bit more about the legal side of things and like what's legal, what isn't? Like how does it? You know what I mean? So I'm really curious about. Molly was saying it's something about like being a public. Like you're only allowed to say stuff. Something about being a public figure. And to me I'm like if you're a public profile on Facebook, then you're a public figure.

No, honestly, because they say like, because of my following, they're like, you're considered a public figure. How big does your following have to be? If you're public and you're like, you know what I mean? Exactly. So just I'm interested to learn more about that. But in this case, I'm really glad that it helped Kira. It's very empowering when women actually come together in support of one another for one cause. And I think that that's great.

So yeah. In this case, you know, she was a phenomenal mom, a phenomenal person. And then I hope there's some solace in connecting with the other people that he was cheating with because it's like, wait, they're phenomenal. Like, we're all phenomenal. And he is the, he's the problem. He's not enough. That's what's not enough.

I also am so grateful she came on two months after this ended. This is so fresh for her. So I'm grateful she came on and I'm grateful she's doing so well. It was a very open wound. But we love her. I'm so glad that she told her story, though. Thank you, Kira. And Kira taught me a lot.

I wrote down stuff so that when somebody doesn't save phone numbers, that can be a red flag because it makes it easier for them to, like, have their phone up with a number that you don't recognize. And they're like, this is normal. That's not, like, I have to save enough. There's no way. There's no way. I know. Do you know what else, like, really was, like, red flag was when he said, I'm in a

relationship, but it's like a don't ask, don't tell thing. Come on. Like, very rare. I'm sure that happens because I'm not going to write it off. But what are the chill? Come on. But I feel like anybody we've spoken to or anyone we've spoken to in our personal lives that are in an open relationship or a polyamorous anything, their communication is pivotal.

That is what makes dynamics like that work. I'm not saying that they have to necessarily tell each other everything, but there's still communication around it and it sounds like that is the opposite. So I can't see it working. But to each their own, what else did we learn? Oh, the FaceTime thing, not going on phone bills? I didn't know that. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a I message thing. I, whatever. So if you, I message, if you're on text messaging and you're on you're on I message, it does not show up on the phone bill. If you're on FaceTime, it's through Wi-Fi and it does not show up on the phone bill. So we've all learned good things. If you have other tips that.

that line with this, please tell us. If you have any stories or connections that have been made over the Are We Dating the same guy Facebook page? I would love to hear that. There's got to be 100 million thousand people who have used it. Like, you guys have to write in and tell us, we need to hear your story. I need to hear everything. Our email, you want to take a crack at it to tell the where to tell these stories?

All right, no, that's okay. You have many other skills. Email is investigate at the dating detect. detectivespodcast.com. Send us all your stories, or you can DM us at Dating Detectives podcast on all the things. Yeah, on all that, we're on TikTok and Instagram. Make sure you share us with a friend. We really appreciate you guys referring other people to listen, and it really helps our podcast, and we've really enjoyed the growth and connecting with all of you. Also, if you get a chance to give us a five-star review, wherever you listen, we greatly appreciate that,

too. So thank you so much for your support. We just love you guys to tears. We love y'all. We love Kira. If you relate to Kira or if this story brought up anything for you, we're giving you a virtual hug. We know that these stories are tough and that what you've been through is tough, but you are tougher. I promise. And as always, trust your Femptation. M-MU-A.