The Dating Detectives - The Bride and Her Meddling Mom

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Today we have our very first lady dog fish! Join Hanna & Mackenzie as they hear a wild tale of hometown romance turned messy! ***The following Program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following Program is provided for entertainment purposes only and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support.***See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following program contains names, places, and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7-233 for support. Hi, Hannah. Hey, hi. Another episode. Today is kind of an interesting story because normally we have the stories about a woman getting her heartbroken by a man. Most of these dogfish stories are dude.

Well, today we have a story about a female dogfish. So this story is a little bit different. This is actually about a man whose sister is actually going to tell us his story. she's going to give us a little bit of insight on his behalf. And at the end, I'd like to kind of, like, after we hear her story, I kind of want to talk about why he's not telling the story and why she is. So that'll be an interesting topic of conversation. So anyways, picture that I would like to paint for you is this guy's a hopeless romantic.

He lives in a small town. And like, I think of like Gilmore girls. I don't know if you've ever seen that. But total small town. It's a great show. So small town. Hopeless Romantic. This guy has Sleepless in Seattle poster on his wall. Like, you know, just, yeah, like really nice, just nice guy, okay? So wholesome. So he goes to college and he's in a couple of

relationships, but he gets his heartbroken over and over, even though he tries to do the right thing, you know, nice guy, okay? Gets his heartbroken. Well, then he moves away from his small town and he moves to like the big city, right? And I feel like I'm telling you the screenplay for like a movie. You're like a life. It's a great story. Or like a Hallmark movie. So he moves away from a small town to a big city. And he's, you know, living his life. But he meets a woman who is also from his small town. And so he's thinking, oh, how cool is this? Third times a charm. This could be the one, right? It's fate. She was next door the whole time. But I had to go to the big city to find her. Yeah, I get it. You know me. I'm the hopeless romantic. I love it. I am. So she's from his town. They connect. And that's when we have our guest who is going to tell us about their story. So are you ready to hear it? Yeah, even though I know it's probably not a happy ending. A girl can dream. All right, let's do this. Okay, Amy, I'm ready to hear this story. I just spill it. Go nuts. Okay. So. Several years ago, my brother started dating someone that works in his office. And it turns out it's a girl that we all went to high school with, Julie.

She was the grade in between me and my sister. So I knew of her. I had some mutual friends. So did my sister. But like, we weren't in the same group. Neither of us were. And while it was not against the rules at his work, because they didn't work directly with each other.

They were in kind of different departments. It was okay their day-to-day managing boss that he knew he was okay with it. It was totally fine. So it was kosher. It was kosher, so to speak. Neither of them really blasted it on their social media because it's not really a big thing for my brother.

It wasn't really a big thing for her. Whatever. So they date for a while. they start like going on trips together. She starts coming over to dinner with Us. He goes to meet her father, but her mother is not a fan of my brother. Her brother's got a lot of tattoos and a lot of them are visible. And so she was just not on board with this. Her daughter was her princess. Tattoes are a sign of the devil, all that good stuff. So, Her dad was a fan, but her mom was not.

And she, like, we didn't know it at the time, but she was really pushing Julie to get back together with her college boyfriend, who was very also kind of, like, more straight and narrow. What you would think of as the boy next door, yeah, real straight and narrow. And so, you know, we're thinking that he's going to get her mom on his side at some point. don't force the issue. You know, dad's on your side. It is what it is, you know, moving on. And on one trip to go visit her dad, her dad had a farm and he had some farming animals, so he had some dogs. And the dogs had a litter of puppies. And she was like, oh my gosh, I want a puppy. Well, she was like, well, my roommate is allergic to dogs, so I can't keep him at my house. will you keep the puppy?

And so he's like, yeah, sure. They have separate apartments. He brings the dog home, you know, name him Fido, we'll go with. And so, you know, because he lives with my brother John, all the accounts that, like, the vet and stuff like that are in my brother's name. But it's their dog. My dad works in the wedding industry. and we come to find out that a girl that was in my sister's mutual friend group with Julie is getting married. Julie is a bridesmaid.

So they're going to come home and go to the wedding. And, you know, John is going to be her date. They get into a fight before the trip home. And so she's like, I don't want you to come with me anymore. We're like, okay, you know, that stinks. But you've already bought your plane ticket. Just come home for a visit. And then y'all will patch things up.

when you get home. We didn't think anything of it. But when my dad was working on that wedding, he noticed that an invitation was being sent to Julie at her apartment, and it was addressed to Julie and Alex. My dad is like, that's weird. Who's Alex? And she was like, oh, Alex is a friend. They're having trouble with their mail right now. So I told my friend just to address it to the that both of us at my apartment and I would pass things along. And we're like, that's, that's so weird. That's weird. Okay, I guess. You know, it was a weird story, but, you know, we didn't have any reason not to believe her, so we'll take your story at face value. That wedding comes and goes. My brother decides that he's going to leave his job and he's going to

go back to school for an advanced degree. And so he gets into a really good school. But it's not in the city that they live in new. So all of a sudden, Julie's mom is like, well, you're not going with him unless y'all live together because you're not going to go and just get left high and dry. Like, this is going to be the two of y'all together. And we were all like, you're suddenly on board with this, which is weird. Okay. Yeah. And like making demands as if she's in the mom's in her daughter's relationships, it sounds like this woman. A hundred percent. Way too much. My parents are also a little bit more on the conservative side, and they're like, y'all ain't doing this unless you're at the very least engaged.

Like, I would prefer that you were married before you live together, but we're at least going to have, like, a ring on that finger. Which my brother was already planning. My mom had given him the diamond from her engagement ring. He had taken it to a jeweler. He had a ring designed. It was in the works. After this wedding, Julie,

she had gone on a girl's trip. She was going with the girl that she was the bridesmaid of, and some other friends, a lot of the ones who were in that wedding, and she's like, you know, I'll bring you back a souvenir. We're going to Disney World. It's going to be the best. You know, we're having a fun girls trip. And so, you know, she brings him back like a really cutesy T-shirt. I'm trying to imagine the corneous Disney shirts. I mean, probably like the teacups, like it's a small world after all or something like that. And so it's another time where she's gone home to visit her mom. He's back home in

the city. They're getting ready to move to the city. His school is in. Now, when my brother was growing up, he had two very close friends, one guy and one girl. Now, the guy and his wife did not live in the city that he and Julie lived in, but the girlfriend and her husband did. So they were all very close. And so it's Saturday morning. He's at home, and the husband of his close girlfriend, comes over and is like, I have to talk to you. Like, let's go inside and sit down. So my brother's friend had been talking to another girl from our hometown, and somehow or another, John and Julie's names got brought up.

And this girl she's talking to is like, I didn't know they were together. And his friend is like, yeah, they're like about to get engaged. Like they, you know, it wasn't a surprise. Like the proposal was going to be. a surprise. She didn't know exactly when it was coming, but like they were going to get. Yeah, they're serious. She's getting, like, they were going to get engaged before they moved. She's bringing Disney shirts. To this man. That is serious. Yes. Yes. So this girl that she's talking to from back home is like, I thought she was with someone else. And she's like, what are you talking

about? And apparently the girl is like, gets on her phone and is like, she's getting married. What? And she was like, what are you talking about? And she shows the girl, the phone is like, she's getting married today. Wait, what? Yes. She had gone on like the knot and found the girl's wedding website.

Oh, my God. She was not back home visiting her mother. She was back home marrying her college boyfriend, whose name is Alice. Alex. But then, wait, I have so many questions. The Alex that that wedding invitation was addressed to, that Alex, getting married that day. While his friend's husband is sitting in the living room telling him this, my brother gets a phone call. From who? From who? From Julie. What did she say? What did that Jose? She's just finished having four-sent. She's going to go get.

get her nails done with her mom later and get pampered and she's just da-da-da-da-da. And it's like, all right, love you, talk to you later, give Fido a kiss for me. And he's like, so you're just not going to tell me. And she's like, what are you talking about? And he's like, I know about Alex. And she's like, well, I mean, I guess you know then. And hangs up. What?

Like she called him. on her wedding day. Oh my God. When the wedding stuff was coming out, I actually, the retail store that I worked in was a part of a parent company that had a really nice store that she just so happened to be registered at. So I was able to go into the system at my store and see, yes, it is her in the registry. It is her cell phone number, and it shows that the registry was created in person at the store in the city we all lived in the weekend after we had all gotten back from a football game we had all gone to together. Oh, boy. Yes. And after the fact, we were able to find her wedding stuff. She tried to claim that it was all her mom, it was all really thrown together last minute. No, she is in a, full, like, full-skirted wedding dress that would have had to have been ordered and fitted. All of her bridesmaids were wearing floor-length, like sweetheart neckline, chiffon, bridesmaid dresses,

and she had a freaking dozen of them. So those obviously would have had to been ordered and fitted. So she lied about everything. How often were she and your brother, like, do you know how often they saw each other? Like were they were like when they were living in the city together? When she was, you know, planning her wedding on the side, like all the time. She was going on family vacations with us while she was planning her wedding to Alex. The Disney trip was her bachelorette trip.

It's a small world after all. Teacups T-shirt was a souvenir from her Bachelorette trip. Oh my God. How long was she dating your brother in total? Three years. What? But how long had she been with Alex? Do we know?

From what I understand, it was like a year, a year and a half? You mean? Because they had dated in college. So she was... And then got back together. They dated in college, broke up. Then she started dating your brother. Then she started dating my brother.

And about a year and a half to two years into that relationship. When her mom tried to set her up to go back out with Alex, she told my brother she was going to blow it off, did not, and struck up a new relationship with Alex. Wait, hold. You go, you go. Time out. Q and A. Q and A says, okay. So, so did the Alex fella know?

We honestly have no clue what Alex knows to this day. you know, John didn't feel like it was his place to, like, call him up and find out. My brother, after he gets off the phone with Julie, calls Julie's dad. And Julie's dad answers. And he's like, I just found out what's happening today. I just want to let you know how sorry I am that things didn't work out. You know, I really loved your daughter. And, you know, I was really looking forward to being a part of your family.

And he was like, you know, I can't tell you how sorry I am. You know, about the way all of this has happened. Yeah. So, dad, mom and dad know that she has had two boyfriends. Dad knew enough. We found out later. Dad knew enough to be there in a tux to walk her down the aisle. He just, I guess, didn't feel like it was his place to tell my brother John.

So can we, yeah, go into after the fact. So your brother finds out. My brother finds out happening. The wedding is happening that day. My parents were like, just come home. Like, you don't need to be there right now.

You know, take the dog to the vet, bored him, you know. Oh, yeah, the dog. Tell your boss the dog. Did he keep the dog? Can he keep the dog? He kept the dog

because the dog lived with him on all paperwork. He's the dog's owner. Yeah, yeah. But, you. You know, he flies home. He's been home for a couple of days. And, you know, he's telling us how sorry he is that he brought her into our lives. We're like, you didn't do anything wrong. Like, this is all on her. We are at home, and it's like two days later. So it's on Monday now. He gets a call from the vet. And you just see all the blood drain from his face. What happened? Julie called the vet. vet and asked if Fido was there. My brother's home with us. Fido was at the vet. They were back

in the city before they were going to leave officially on their honeymoon. And so she tried to find out if the dog was there and she was going to go steal the dog. But you get the dog? Thank goodness. My mother, hey, yes, saw it coming that maybe something like this would happen, but she was like, remove Julie from all of your stuff. Like, get her, like, if she has any passwords, change your passwords. You know, if she's on the call list at the vet, you know, call the vet, like anything at all. Get her off of there. Yeah.

And so he did. And so the vet said they couldn't tell her anything. She tried to take his dog. Praise me. She broke his hard and tried to take his dog. The audacity. Oh, God, I have so many questions. Okay, so she did not get the dog, right?

She did not get the dog. He still has the dog. Okay, and they never did move in together. I mean, clearly, right? Are you ready for part two? Yeah, let's go. Hold on and I need to start a new page on my notebook. Okay, go.

Yeah, for real. Yes. So, my brother goes back to the city. He's brokenhearted, and we're like, okay, you were going to move into this apartment with Julie. that's obviously not going to work out. Let's find you something else. So we found him this like town home and me and my sister, we feel so badly for your situation, we're going to help you out. We will take time off. We will come up there. We will help you move. We get him moved in.

School starts and he's in his classes and all that. And then a couple of months go by and we get a late night call from him. Julie is pregnant. Oh boy. And, And she's currently living with him because Alex had a federal job and so was on like an assignment somewhere else. So she moved in with my brother John to the town home that we found him. And she is, she is pregnant. Wait, wait. So she's married to Alex.

Yep. Alex is not home. He's working a government job for several months at a time away. She's pregnant. Yep. Who to baby daddy? Jinks. We don't know. So here's how the she's pregnant. She's living with me. Fallout happens. Some more revelations to the story came out when that close friend group, the guy and the girl. The guy's wife was acquaintances with Julie's old roommate. And somehow the topic of Julie comes up.

And she talked about when she moved out. And she's like, what do you mean moved out? Like I know y'all had gotten into a couple of fights. And she was like, well, yeah, we got into a fight when she moved Alex in. And she was like, what are you talking? He lived there? And she was like, yes, I knew that she was dating John. but then she moves Alex in

and Alex brings his stupid cat so the reason why when they got Fido that she couldn't take Fido home is because now Alex is living there with a cat who doesn't like dogs oh my lord and your brother never went to this apartment like never visited I guess

they always were at his because she was she was in a smaller apartment and he had a lot more room so I guess they just did everything over there, and he was living by himself. It's easy to be like, oh, you live alone, so we'll just hang out at your place. But I think that is a good thing to like, no, like red flaggy if someone ever wants you to come to their place. 100%. All of these things after, like, at the time, like, this wedding address is addressed to two people.

And like, at your address, at the time, she kind of explained it away. And we were like, pink flag, that's weird. I'm not like super concerned. Percer. A red flag. That's red. Like, this is red. Now we know it's.

That's neat. We were naive. It's a neat. It's a pink. It's a pink. No, girl. That is red. This is straight red.

It's crimson. I'll be honest, y'all. I didn't think she was capable of being this duplicitous, like this manipulative. So, yeah. All of these things after the fact, like all of the dominoes are falling into place.

So, finding out that she had moved Alex in, and that's why he had to take Fido, was, I guess, the final light switch. This was the thing that just broke it for my brother. Finding out about this roommate situation and the fact that she had been lying about Alex living with her was enough to make him be like, I messed up. Oh, poor guy. I wanted to hear more about her personality, because it sounds like she probably has, like, a very strong ability to manipulate people. or get them to believe whatever. That's the thing.

Like, we really didn't see it coming because, like, a family beach trip. We went and played Uno, and she didn't call Uno when she had one card left. She thought she was about to win, and my brother called Uno,

and she's like, but I'm winning. And, like, she just didn't get that if she didn't call Uno, that she wouldn't have to, like, she just, she didn't understand. But maybe that's part of it. You know, you can kind of let people.

But she had to fucking. can play uno, but she knows how to play Uno with these boys. Well, she has a dose, dose boys. She knows how to play dose. Maybe more. Maybe Trace. Metro, Cinco. When the mom said

you guys have to live together if you're going to go, like, did she know that this, she had already gotten back with this? Yeah. So the mom said you have to go live with this guy if you're going to move over there. Wait, what? Wait, what? Her mom was helping her perpetrate the double life.

How? Why? Yeah. Why was the mom? I have no clue. I have no clue. I don't know why she didn't just tell John, hey, Alex is here and they're getting married. Yeah. So F you, leave my daughter alone because she wanted him to leave her alone anyways.

Why didn't she just tell him to buzz off? Well, I was just curious if maybe there was some kind of money thing involved where mom was like, oh, you don't, you need somewhere to live or you can take advantage of this guy. suck him dry as much as you can. You know what I mean? Like, if they had any kind of financial issues, maybe that was a way. Unless the mom knew she was pregnant

and she knew that the husband was going to be away and she needed somebody to take care of her daughter. But why would she trust tattoo boy if she didn't like it? You know what I mean? I don't. I don't know. Like, I, it's so banana-in-ups. Like, I can't.

A lot of banana. I can't think of a, like, a reasoning that makes sense for any of this to have been taken to this level. Most of these stories start online with people that don't have any kind of connection. This is just so interesting that y'all had a huge background. Same town, same high school, mutual friends. And each go to parties. Like, this girl was playing with fire.

So all of this was happening a few years after everyone graduated from college. Like we were stable and all like beginning our adult lives. And the people that we were mutual friends with her, you know, we were not as close to them as we were when we were in high school. And so there was just not a lot of overlap. Now the Christmas before the friend got married that she was a bridesmaiden at her Christmas party that my sister was invited to, she had told my sister, I thought she and John broke up. And my sister was like, no, they didn't.

And so I don't know if that was her trying to like, blew my sister in, but they were obviously close enough friends that like she was a bridesman at her wedding. I guess she didn't feel like it was her place to tell my sister the full truth. But she knew enough to invite Alex to the wedding by name. You know how sometimes people get insecure when a partner doesn't post about them on social media and people are like, you're being crazy. You're being insecure. It's like, sorry that I want you to, first of all, everyone should put us on a pedestal and brag about us all the time. Yes. I'm not saying you have to be obsessed with social media, but you should, in whatever way you do it, you have to be obsessed with us. And also it's like, we're not crazy when we have little gut feelings like this.

when we have a little feb tuition. Dingling. Yeah. Yeah. This, I just, yeah. Wow. I'm so sorry that happened to him. Like, that's terrible.

I hope that, like, maybe, maybe, like, I would love to chat with him sometime, like, off the record, off the podcast. But just like, I don't know, just for curiosity. Like, I would love to chat with him and be like, yo, dude, like, we need to know more. What were you thinking? Thank you so much for coming and sharing your story. And it was great to meet you. Yeah, it was so nice to meet you. Baby, thank you so much for sharing. We really appreciate you.

Ooh. Holy bananas. Jinks. What did she say? She was like, this is banana nuts. And you were like, that's a lot of banana nuts. That's a, it's a lot of banana nuts. So, okay. I really, so the one thing that really sticks with me, like I said in the beginning, is the fact that this is a female dogfish who is basically, she's completely lying about everything, right? So, like, I still have unanswered questions. I still need to know some stuff. But I just, I don't know where to start. Where are you at, Hannah? I'm thinking about how you get away with so much as a PI.

You're not a doctorish. You are a licensed private investigator. But the way that this woman, Julie, was able to operate within a friend group, within the people who knew each other and dupe a lot of people, not just John. it is interesting that we really do want to believe the best. We don't want to see the truth a lot of times, or we just maybe are not aware. We're just not looking around.

I mean, I'm not blaming anybody. I think stuff like this could happen to a lot of us. Obviously, there are some things that were, as we said, pink to neon red flashing light, hindsight's 2020. But I just can't. believe that she got away with so much in a group of people who all knew each other. Well, and you're right. Like, I am a PI. And what concerns me about that, like you said, is that I'm trained. Like, I know, like I have this experience to go in and find information

by, you know, not manipulation, but by kind of being a little bit of, a little bit of, well, it's social engineering, right? But I'm trained to do that. I'm licensed to do this. This is my job. But someone who is not trained can just come in all willy-nilly and just like, do everyone. Like, that's crazy to me. But not only that, like, I'm just so, well, I'm not curious. I kind of understand why he didn't want to tell his own story. But it just seems like there's got to be other men out there. There's got to be other people who, like, this isn't just about men lying to women or

men dogfishing women. Like, the women exist too, right? Oh, sure. I really want to know who else is out there that has experienced this, but I do understand why it might be hard for a man to tell a story like this. If there are any, like, therapists or psychological professionals listening, I'm sure you could, I just, I'm curious if she has some kind of, maybe I shouldn't say that on the podcast. I don't want to diagnose her. It's just like somebody that's like that much of a pathological liar, like, is there something different about their brain where they're able to compartmentalize in that way? way and hurt people.

Yeah, well, she clearly lied. I mean, there's no, there's no diagnosing there. Like, a lie is a lie is a lie. Like, she lied to them. Yeah, but could you do that? Could you be at your wedding, texting, or at your bachelor at party with another? Like, I couldn't do that. I don't think.

Could you imagine? Like, that would take so much brain capacity. In the guilt. I just, any of the people. There's so much guilt that would go along with, like, so much guilt. I have a question. I can't even. Okay.

If you were in this situation as John or maybe a member of John's family, she mentioned that John chose not to reach out to Alex, that they chose not to reach out to that girl's family, to get more information, to maybe tell Alex what's going on. What do you think you would have done? Oh, no. If it was me personally, no, we're going to all get together, sit around a round table, we're going to figure this shit out together because we're not doing this. Oh, I don't know.

I'm not sure. No, I'm calling you. I'm calling your mama. We're all going to sit together and we're going to have a chat. We're going to work this out. I know. I would have been like, I'm renting a private room and locking those stores until we get answers. Like, I would need to know everything. I'm all about going right to the source. I want to go right to the source. Like there would be no question in my mind what anybody knows. Like, I would be like, what do you know? This person said this. And I would spill all the beans and be like, this is what I need to know. As a PI, I can't. do that. But as a McKinsey, I can do that. Because if it was me, you can do all, whatever you need to do. I'm going to know. I need to know. Like, it's, it's different because like when you're in it,

when it's your personal drama, you need, like, you need answers. But as a PI, I have to shut that part of my brain down and let the, like, obviously I want to know more. But also, like, it's not my, I have had to learn to block it out of my brain and not lose sleep over the what happens. happened. Well, I was just curious also because we put that poll up where it was like if somebody cheated on you, would you want a conversation with their, if you found out somebody had another spouse, would you want a conversation? Would you want to maybe just text or message but not have a conversation? Or would you not want to talk to them at all and just immediately move on? And it was pretty, I think most people were in agreement with us where they would want the conversation. But there were definitely a lot of people who were like, no, I would just move on. And I respect that. There's personalities that don't. want to deal with the conflict. They just accept what it is and move on. Kind of like we had one of the guests on our show who was like, nope, I'm just like, I just want to accept it and move on. But there's some of us like me who would be like, uh-uh, we're getting it. We're roundtabling this. Right now we're going to discuss it all. It's a tough one. It really is. But I'm really curious to,

I'm curious. I just don't know how she got away with all of this. Like you said, they all know everybody. And I, it's just, I feel like she really got away with it. And not a baby into the, I can't. I It's a lot. But anyways, it was a really interesting story that Amy shared with us about her brother. And I just, I really hope that. I hope that he's healed. And she said that he's moved on now and, you know, married. I feel like more people should come forward and talk about their stories like this.

Because it's not always a man breaking a woman's heart. Like sometimes there's female dogfish. And I can't even imagine how men must handle that. Well, we get so many comments. And we're so grateful for everyone who reaches out to us about how some of this podcast just makes people feel less alone. And I feel like the reason it's so hard for us to find stories about men getting dogfished is because they just don't have examples of them around them as much. Like, even this person wasn't comfortable coming on. And that's, I respect that totally.

But I hope that this story, if somebody else relates to it, makes them feel less alone. Now that this story has come out about a female dogfish. And we recently did an episode where a man was cheating on his wife with another man. So you're starting, you'll start to see that there's a ton of different relationships that are out there. This is not just, you know, men cheating on women or men being a dogfish. This is about everyone. So if you have a story that you want to share with us, we want to tell it. So make sure you send us an email, investigate at datingdetectivepod.com. Equal opportunity dogfish in this house. Yeah. And make sure share our podcast with your friends, please, and have them follow.

us on Instagram, and we really appreciate your love and support so much. Like we actually do. We talk about it all the time. We love you guys. We're so grateful for you guys. And I'm grateful for you, McKenzie. I love you, Amanda. Okay, let's wrap this up. Goodbye, my beautiful dating detective. Goodbye, my armchair, snooth. Until next time.