The Dating Detectives - The Escape: Part 1

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

Ashley saw Julian while scrolling on Tik Tok and was drawn to his cowboy vibes. Their relationship progressed quickly, but what started as love became something much more terrifying. Part 2 will be out on Monday 11/4! Content warnings - domestic violence, emotional abuse, suicide Click here to join our Patreon! For only $5 a month you will get 2 extra episodes a month, monthly virtual live events, and access to our community page! If you've been dogfished and want to share your story on the show, email [e-mail] or contact us through our website using this link If you or someone you love needs help getting out of an abusive relationship, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. They can connect you with advocates and resources in your area. This episode is sponsored by Uncommon Goods. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/TDD. This episode of The Dating Detectives is sponsored by Dipsea. For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/ TDD This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. Get your incredible, temperature maintaining, silver infused sheets for 40% off, PLUS a free three piece towel set, by going to trymiracle.com/TDD and using code TDD at checkout. This episode of The Dating Detectives is sponsored by DeleteMe. Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to join joindeleteme.com/tdd and use promo code TDD at checkout! ***The following Program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following Program is provided for entertainment purposes only and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following program contains names, places, and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7-233 for support. Hello, happy Monday. Happy Monday.

Welcome back from the Mediterranean. You guys, I went on a Mediterranean cruise. It was so lovely. We went to Turkey and Greece, Athens, Santorini. We went to Italy. All these really cool places. I got a new tattoo just to commemorate the trip. And it was just so much fun.

But we missed you. Thank you. While we were gone, there was a hurricane. My roof was half missing. But it's okay. Like, it's not raining into my living room anymore because they put tarps. over. So now in the next six to seven weeks, they'll be fixing my room. So it's fine. Just letting you guys know. Okay. Everyone's asking for updates tonight. So here we are.

I'll just tell everybody at the same time. Like, everything is fine. And we know, we got not a lot of damage, which I'm grateful for. But I'm glad your mic was okay. I know. Well, it was weird because I was going to have to take all of my podcast stuff to Europe with me. But my bags, every single one of them were already overweight. And it was like, I wasn't going to be able to come home from the case I was working in another state because the hurricanes, the airports were closed. It was a nightmare. It was a mess. Well, shout out to Molly for stepping in. Yes, for holding down the fort. You guys are amazing. I'm so excited that Molly was able to step in. So thank you, Molly. But I'm glad to be back and see your beautiful face. Oh, my God. I missed you. And this story that we're about to hear is a

difficult one, but it's, I'm just very lucky that I have both of you, but your energy is, like, helpful to go through some of these stories with because we like need each other. And this, this story is a dozy. It is, we're going to have to get into it. But before we do, you guys, don't forget to sign up for the Patreon. It's $5 a month. You get exclusive access to like extra information sometimes if you know what I mean. It's not allowed on the main feed. But also we do live events where you can connect with us and there's a whole, there's a whole platform, like a whole, what do you call it. Like a chat. Yeah, there's like a big chat where we can all connect and it's just really cool. And you get early access to merch that we're working on and stuff like that. So, and extra episodes.

Oh yeah. And the two bonus episodes a month. I forgot that. That might be something else favorite. And I love everyone on Patreon. And we'll keep people updated because this case is, so it's going to be a two-parter. Sorry not sorry. I don't know what tell you. It's a long one. We're going to need a breath in the middle. And she's like, it's fresh. Like it happened. We actually needed a break during recording. that's how intense it got. Oh, I love her, but I, yeah, I'm still kind of processing it. And she is, too. Like, it's pretty fresh. It happened not that long ago. So hopefully we can help her, you know, you'll see in any kind of thing moving forward. I will give some content warnings. It's definitely deals with domestic violence and some, it's probably our most, like, closest to true

crime story that we've had in terms of violence and abuse. So just please. You guys were talking violence, domestic violence. We're talking talks of suicide. We're talking like all kinds of things that are very, very incredibly, incredibly violent. And I just need you guys to just, just know that some of the things can be a little bit sensitive. So yeah. But at the end of the day, she's here to tell her story. So spoiler alert. She's okay. She doesn't die. The princess doesn't die. Oh, she's here. So I'm really grateful for her sharing her story. And also, you guys, I have to tell you, thank you so much for sharing our podcast on your socials because every time you share, there's always someone that goes, oh, my friend, so-and-so shared this. And I have this story. And then this community that you

guys are creating by sharing is really, really helping other people get through some of their own trauma. So by sharing, you are just making the conversation bigger and putting a spotlight on it. This episode especially, I am so hopeful that we're going to take this butt head down. I am so angry that he is just anyway. This is one of those ones you'll want to be on the Patreon for because that's where we're going

to be posting updates. Updates for sure. Yeah. But yeah, if anyone you know, you're like, oh, maybe they're dating him. Send this bad boy around. Or if they're dating someone similar. Let's, let's,

oh, these guys, I don't even know where to start. Girl. So, okay, we've hyped you up enough. Let's get into it, shall we? Let's hear from our guests. Give it to Ashley. Take it away. Okay, Ashley.

Thank you for being here. We're ready to hear your story. So take us on the journey, girl. Take us away. Yeah. Thank you all for having me. Okay. Well, it is early May, 20, 23.

I'm 25 years old. I wasn't really looking for a relationship at the time. I was just scrolling through TikTok, a guy I was talking to. We just ended things. So I was kind of just like, I don't want to talk to any man at all, you know? So I was not looking, kind of just scrolling through TikTok. And I come across this guy's page. And I was like, oh, he's really cute.

Like he was riding a little horse. And he was just given like all the like Casey from Yellowstone vibes. Okay. So I was like, oh, he's, he's really cute. So I liked his TikTok. And then he came to my page and followed me and started liking my stuff. And then that led into Instagram, which is where we started actually talking. Wow.

Does this happen? Like, are you somebody that meets people on TikTok and Instagram a lot? Are you like a DM? slider. No. It's common though. It is. Yeah, it is. But like never on TikTok. Like Instagram, yeah, I will talk to a ton of people on Instagram, but TikTok never. I never used this as like a dating form or anything like that. So anything's a dating app if you try hard enough. I'm just saying. So we started talking on Instagram and literally the first thing he said to me was, your smile is gorgeous. And then we started talking from there. He right off the bat, that first day,

He was like, I want to meet you and all of this stuff. He was like, when can I come, fly out and visit you? Oh, wow. Yeah, right off the bat. And I was just like, okay, cool. Like, give it a few days or something. Let's talk. So anyways, he wanted to fly out and see me and he was like persistent on doing that.

Well, I still lived with my parents and my mom was like, you know, we're not having a stranger in our house or anything like this. So me, though, I do love to travel and I love to like just. go out and just have experiences. So I told him this and he was like, okay, well, if I can't come there, I will fly you out to me. So I tell my mom, I was like, well, if you won't let him come here, I'm going to go out there and visit him. What did you say? She was just like, do whatever you want to do. But like, I mean, I was only going out there for a weekend. So it was like, you know, it's like a first day. Yeah, it wasn't anything crazy. He talked to her on the phone before. So like it was

just it was kind of like she she wasn't okay with it but she was just like whatever do what you want to do have fun so i need to know like what you knew about him i'm now my mom is coming out like yeah how old is he what's his like how much did you know going into flying to see him i knew all the general information me being like a realtor and everything i looked up we have a separate app so i looked up like i looked up his background and stuff like that because we have to look up people's background before we show them houses. See, this is what I wanted. This is what I like to hear. So it'll show like it's so in depth. Like it'll show all their phone records, places they lived,

all the cars they've driven, like all that stuff and all their mugshots or what. And all their mug shots too. No big deal. You can be PIs. They really can. You have no idea. Mackenzie, you should add that. You should get your real estate license. So then when you're on surveillance, you could also be like taking stuff. dock of the neighborhood. I'm just saying. Yes, I look him up and nothing comes up. So I'm like, he has a clean record. And that's what I was like trying to tell my mom about him coming out here. I was like, I've looked him up. Like, he doesn't have any record. He seems like a great guy and

everything. So the day before me going out to visit him, he had sent me flowers to my work. So it's just crazy because he lived so far away from me. And he even put in that effort to do that. So then I fly out and right off the bat, we like go to a little restaurant and just have lunch and have a couple of drinks. And then immediately right after that, we go back to his house and we like just hook up. Okay. Good for you. Okay. Is he drunk or did he just have like one drink?

We have like a whole tester flight thing of all the different. So we're white girl wasted. You're feeling good. Okay. So we, and I don't know, I normally don't do that, but I was like, filling it, didn't know if I was going to come back out there again. So I might as well test drive it before I buy it. So we're at his house afterwards and we had dinner reservations. Well, we fell asleep and didn't make the dinner reservation.

So he's like, well, how about I just take you over to my parents' house and let you meet everybody. Oh, okay. Now? Wow. Yeah, I was like, okay, we're really jumping the gun. It's the first day I'm here. First day I've ever met you. But I was like also family is important to me. And I'd like to see how their family is because I don't like the family. I don't want to be with someone, you know, if I can't be around them. So I was like, hey, this will be good for me to get to know him and his environment and all of that. Sure, yeah. You guys, the holidays are coming up. So I want to talk to you about this new website that is advertising with us. It's called Uncommon Goods. You guys, they have the coolest little like gifting ideas.

So think of holiday shopping, stress-free. This website has original handmade, really, really cool gifts. So if you're someone who's like, I just can't find something for this one person, you will find something for everything here. Hannah, didn't you find something that you were talking about earlier? My family got my grandpa a book of New York Times cover pages for the day he was born. And it's like it shows his, obviously his year and then like everything that's happened on his birthday from the New York Times.

It's a cool present. So you can do a lot of customizable type stuff. Yeah. And he's a nerd about history. So he likes that. But they've got everything. Like where was this website my whole life? I know.

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That's join delete me.com slash TDDCode TDD. I go over there and I fell in love with his. It was only his mom and dad and sister there. So it wasn't his entire family. But I meet all them and had a great time. First of all, like where they lived was in the country and everything. So when I went to their house, it was just very like, it made me feel like home. And his family was just so warm and welcoming and making me feel.

comfortable. Like I get nervous around families, meeting them for the first time. So when I went over there and they were just like greeting me with hugs and everything like that, that was that first night was, it was really good just to get to know them. It just made me feel really welcomed because they would ask me about my family and, you know, just really try to get to know me and involve me and everything and not just kind of like, leave me off to the side and oh, this is just another girl or whatever, you know, I grew up in a broken family. So to have, that feeling of family again going over there and being with his family and everything was just kind of like that sense of being a one big happy family again. So I really like that. So this is

Mother's Day weekend. And I was like, I'm so sorry, Mom, I'm flying. Oh my gosh. And now you're like with his family on a holiday. Wow. The next day was a Saturday. And his brother is having a baby. So he was having the diaper party. So I met his entire family that day and all of his friends and stuff like that. And then they have a skeet shooting contest. Oh, okay. So it's like real country. Yeah, it is. So we're out there and keep him on. This is a second day. Okay. He comes up to me. We're sitting on the golf cart thing. He comes up to me and it's like, I love you. Uh, okay. How long has this been? Like two hours? Two hours. And you've been talking how long? Two weeks. And how much older? I actually don't know that he's older than you, but I'm just assuming. Is he older than you? No, I'm older. I was like three months older than him. Okay, but you're the same age. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So he says that and I'm taken off guard. I'm just like, oh, thank you. I didn't know what to say. I was like, I'm only going to say that if I fill it. So anyway.

he kind of got mad at that night and was just like, why didn't you say it back? And so I told him, I was like, we're only going to say it if I fill it. And then the next day was Mother's Day. So I went to church with his family and all of that stuff. Well, then I have to leave and coming home, I was just like, okay, like, that was fun. He was a little bit love bombing, but it was a fun time and everything. Well, on the way to the airport, he asked me, he was like, we have a, it was a, it was a Memorial Day weekend that next weekend. And he was like, me and my family always got to the lighthouse and do a big thing for Memorial Day. And I'd love for you to come back. And I was like, okay, sounds fun. So I was like, go to the Lake House, like all that stuff. I was like, yeah.

So we booked my flight to come back and he's paying for these flights. Yeah. Yeah. He paid for the first one. The second flight, I think we went like half and half on. Okay. This is fast. He, he's pedal to the metal. Yes. But you sound like you're kind of having fun. You're like, I'm not thinking about marriage. I'm just like, oh, this is a fun summer. Like, we'll see. Getting to know this person. So I'm like, this is fun. I get to go somewhere new and do things with them and live that life for a little bit. So it is fun. So I go to their house and I get out there and we had a good time. I think I was there three, four days or something. The last day we were about to leave the Lake House. So he started like just being kind of controlling at the Lake

house in front of his entire family. So he would ask me, he would be like, can you go make me a plate of food or whatever, which I will literally do anything for my man. But like, I have no idea where the food is in this house or where the plates are or anything like that. So I'm like, now I have to go up to his family and be like, hey, where is this? Because your son wants it. You know, was he kind of entitled in the way he was asking? It wasn't like a cute like, babe, will you get me like some water? It was like, hey, can you get me some food? Yeah, if it was like one time, whatever, but he asked multiple things. And I don't know, it's the second time I'm out there. And I feel like the guy normally puts their best foot forward. And it's like, what do you do this for? Yeah. 100%. Oh, my God, you're right.

He should be having you sit down. Yeah. Yes. Like, why am I doing this stuff for you? And if you're busy and you can't run inside and get some food, I'll go make you some food. But you're sitting there not doing anything and you can't walk two steps and get your own food. So anyway, was he like testing you? I don't know. I really don't know. So I'm all the way upstairs packing our bags. And he comes upstairs from the kitchen and was like, hey, will you go downstairs and make me a plate of cake? And I was like, dude, you literally just came from downstairs. Like, what is his? You can make it yourself. I'm like, I'm packing for us right now. So that turned into a whole argument. So we finally get in the truck and we're heading back to his house. and the whole truck ride is silent.

And I'm like in my head, I'm like, I'm kind of, I'm kind of annoyed because you just boss me around in front of your family. And I just don't know how to, how to react, really. So we finally pull into a restaurant and we start talking finally in the truck. And he was like, you know, what's wrong with you and all this stuff? And I was like, well, you just embarrass me in front of your entire family. And I was like, I will gladly do these things for you later on in the relationship. I was like, but this is our second date. I don't know why you're asking me to do all this stuff for you. Yeah, it's freaking weird. Yeah. And he was like, well, I just want more of a traditional relationship where the

woman cooks and cleans and does like all that stuff and I do all the work. And he would just praise this traditional relationship, which I'm fine with that. Like, I'm fun with not having a job. But like in this day and age, you need to have a job. Yeah, but if you guys agree on it. Oh, yeah. That's true too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He can't just like expect. that. It's like a conversation you have to have. So then he's like, well, my brother's, their wife and their girlfriend does these things without them even having to ask. And I was like, well, that's great. But again, our second date. Okay. And I'm crying. And he's just like, it's okay. Like, I just know that I need to give you more time. And I'm like, more time to bow down to you and be your servant.

Right. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just kind of thrown off by all of this. Yeah. we go inside and eat and then we go to like little ice cream shop afterwards and we're in the drawthrough of this ice cream shop and he asked me to be his girlfriend and I was like I told him no because I was like dude this is such a bad bad timing I was like you just made me cry and now you're asking me to be your girlfriend like this stuff makes it so that like hurt his feelings I guess and I could see that and I was like oh no know, like, I'll be your girlfriend, like, playing around with him. He's like, no, you're going to have to ask me because I'm not going to get rejected again and all of this stuff. Oh, so he's six. Yeah. Yeah. Great.

So we're just like going back and forth. He was like, you're going to have to ask me and all this stuff. I just like leave there and not being his girlfriend, I guess. Like, we're just kind of like still talking because we both are hardheaded and I'm not asking him to be my boyfriend. So coming home that weekend, kind of not knowing, like, like where I wanted to stand in that relationship. Like I didn't really know if I even wanted to be in something like that or be controlled in that way.

So after I came home, I had this thing happen with my dad and I really needed support. And I called him and I was telling him about it. And I was crying my eyes out on the phone to him. And he was just like, I don't remember exactly everything he said. But I remember he was just like talking to me so comforting. And he was just like, listen, you. can't help this like it's not your fault like all of this stuff and and kind of just like leaning into me and letting me cry and show that emotion because I haven't I don't cry a lot and I definitely

don't cry around other people so when I let it all out to him I felt vulnerable and like I was letting my walls down and the way he spoke to me was really comforting and I felt like I could now talk to him about everything so after after talking with him and everything I felt like you know I I wanted to try, see what this relationship could be and how things would grow. And I felt like giving him another chance and giving it a try. So we started really getting serious after that. We were like dating. But he wanted me to move out with him.

He kept saying he wanted me to move out as soon as possible. And my job here, I needed to wait until after summer before I could do anything. and I told him that. And he was just like basically saying you hate your job anyways. Like why are you in it? Why don't you just quit and move out here and all of this stuff? And I was like, well, it would be, it would look good on me if I say the extra three months. And it would also give us time to get to know each other.

Yeah, because you are still, if it's not even the end of summer, still very early. Yeah, it is. So, I mean, this is like a month into us Tolkien, if that. And both of us had a dream. Well, I think it was his dream. But my dream was to always have rental homes and B&Bs and like do the flip homes and stuff like that. And basically just build like an army of houses. So I had mentioned that to him before, like wanting to have all these different homes and stuff like that.

And wanting to start getting into flipping homes. So me being in real estate, I was able to look up homes out there and stuff and see what we could possibly get started on out there. And I actually sat down with his dad and we had a conversation. They were going to help us invest into our first house to flip because that's the thing. Like, I would love to start doing it here, but you have to have the money to invest into the first home to flip it. So they were going to help with that. And that was basically just going to start my dream career. So he was like, well, come up, come out here and like, let's start all that together. And I was just like, okay, so do I stay here and stay in this job that I hate? Or do I go out

there? Because if I go out there, it could go really well or it could go really bad. But I'm not going to know if I don't try. Yeah. So. And you're young. Yeah. I just have like, okay, I'm going to move out there. So I quit my job here. But before I moved out there, we both had family beach trips planned. And of course they were on, it fell on the same week. So like I couldn't, it's not like I could go a week with his family and then he could come a week with mine. It was like on the same week. Wow.

And so we had planned after the beach trip is when he was going to come here and help me pack up everything and move. So during that week, I told him, I was like, well, I'm going to go on the beach trip with my family because that's going to be the last week I get to see them. and I want to send that time with him. And honestly, my family didn't have as much money as him. So, like, the house we were in, me and my sister-in-law were sharing a bed. So, like, he wouldn't have had a place to sleep anyways. But he made me feel bad. And he was like, well, how about you go half the week with your family and the other half with mine or something?

So I was like, okay, I guess I can make that work. So I went the first week with his family. And that ended up being like, fun the first couple of days, but we were already getting into so many fights on this trip. Fights about like, he asked me to draw his hair after he got out of the shower and stuff like that. And I was too busy getting ready and I didn't have enough time. And I was like, hey, I don't have time. Like I'm still getting ready for these pictures.

So like, please dry your own hair. Like cater to me, dry my hair? Yes. Like with a blow dryer or a towel? Sorry, I'm still. Yeah, because he had like longer hair. Oh, okay. Hey.

Who the fuck? Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Is he a dog? The hell? So I was like, I was like, I don't have time to do your hair right now. And he was like, well, you just never do anything you say you're going to do. Ew.

You never said you were going to do that. He said it. Rood. I'm like freaking out right now because I was like, are you really starting a fight for me not drying your hair? Like, do your own hair. Honestly, I cannot. I would have been like, yeah, I'll do your hair. bring the clippers out.

Right? Now we don't have a problem anymore. No freaking way. Oh my goodness. I know you guys have heard me say this before, but your nighttime bedroom temperature has a huge impact on your sleep quality. And I know this because my husband sleeps really, really hot. I sleep really, really cold. And sometimes neither one of us can sleep because we're just not comfortable.

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That's 30 days of full access for free when you go to DIPSEA Stories.com. TDDdddddddd.com. So that was one little fight, and then the next night, we all had planned to go to dinner by a certain time, by like five or six, I think it was. So we had planned this all day, and I had got up and got ready. Well, he decides that he's going to take a nap before this. So he's still asleep like 30 minutes before we leave. So I was like, okay, let me start waking him up.

So I'd go in there like every 10 minutes. I was like, hey, wake up. We're about to leave. And he just would not wake up. And he like, he's like, just go without me. So I did.

Wow. Yeah. Did he cry about it? Oh, yeah. His entire family was like, yeah, just leave. Like,

he can find a way here. Like, your car's there and all this stuff. So I'll leave. And I go to dinner with him. I start getting phone calls from him. And he is just like, why the F,

did you leave me? He was like, you left me with nothing. And I was like, you literally. told me to leave. So that was annoying. And then halfway through the week, leave to go meet my parents at their beach house. So I get there and I kid you not the first day I get there, like I pull up in the driveway and they're all at the beach. So I just go inside and like throw

on a bikini and I go meet them out or whatever. And I'm sending him, I think I've FaceTime him to show him like our house and everything. And he automatically looks at me and was like, why are you wearing that bikini? No. And I was just like, the beach. And he was like, I specifically told you not to wear that bikini because it shows too much. And I was like, dude, I'm with my parents. And we're at a beach where the majority of the people there are all like older people.

It's like really a retirement town. And also we can just put a period out. We are at the beach, period. Like, what? So that was a whole day's worth of tuxing back and forth argument. and stuff. And then the next day, me and my family, we all love to go to different breweries and stuff like that. So we go to a brewery. Well, he gets pissed off at this. He was like, why are you at a bar? And it's like four o'clock, okay? It's not like midnight or anything. It's four o'clock in the afternoon.

What does he want you to do? Just sit at home and talk on the phone with him? Exactly. In a full-length gown that covers your long sleeve and your... And a goose down park. Yes. So we get into a fight about that. Well, because my sister-in-law-law-law-law... Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So my... She's not my sister-in-law yet. But at this moment, she's my brother's girlfriend or fiancé. So we get home and she's in the bed with me. And I was like, I'm just going to let you overhear this phone call because I already know how it's going to go. And I was like, I just want you to hear it. And so I put him on speaker.

and she's like, he doesn't even know that to this day. But like, she heard everything. And I mean, it was like an hour and a half conversation of nothing but him just yelling at me the entire time. He was like, I can't believe you're going to a bar. You know what the bar scene is. And I was like, it's not a bar. Like a bar, like a club is different from a brewer. Yeah.

Yeah, a brewer also with your parents. Yeah. And he was like, he was like, I'm just mad. I can't be there to protect. you and stuff and I was like honey I'm with my parents they've protected me the past 25 years I think I can protect myself we're fine we're going to handle it it's fine yeah yeah so anyways we get off that phone call and my brother's fiancee looks at me and she's like this is so bad like that's so bad like why do you want to move out there yeah and in my head because I've grown up partying and

drinking and all that since the age of 15, I was like, you know what, maybe he doesn't want me to drink as much. So like, maybe this is good. Maybe it'll help me not drink as much. Maybe it'll help me mature. Right. And maybe I don't like, even though the bikinis I wore, I'm never wore thonged bikinis or anything like that. I mean, it's a bikini. It's going to show your cheeks. But I was thinking like maybe, you know, I shouldn't dress like this and I shouldn't drink this much. So I, because now he's in your head and he's, he's saying enough. And you're starting and you're, yeah, okay. You're like, he's actually maybe making me a better person.

Maybe he's a good interest. Yeah, maybe this is fine. Maybe this is fine. Yeah, so I'm like brainwashed, but regardless, I still continue to move out there. So he comes up here and we pack all my stuff and we start heading out for me to move out there with him. And we are like over halfway. Were you worried at all? Like, oh, I don't know.

Or were you just like, this is fine. I don't know. I definitely had a gut feeling. Okay. And I chose to not listen to it because I was like, I'm looking at it. I mean, I did really like him, but I also was like the business opportunities. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Because I'm like, honestly, all we're fighting about right now is me going to a bar without him or me wearing these clothes. So I'm like, I don't know. I've never been in a controlling relationship. So I guess I didn't see those red flags to begin with. Well, people who are very controlling can do a good job of making it seem like it's just you disrespecting them or you not meeting their needs. And it's not, it doesn't come off like they're, you know, the master and you're the slave. Like, that's not.

No, they're really good with their words for sure and can manipulate you. And I'll learn that stuff fell right into it. So yeah, we're like halfway driving out to his house and it's a Monday night. And I was like, oh, it's Monday night. Let's get home and let's watch The Bachelor. And he was like, that is not going to be played in my house. And I was like, dude, this is. Oh, boy, this guy.

Yeah. I was like, I love to watch this. This is what me and my friends always like drink wine and we'll talk crap about. Like, it's our, my girl time. Yeah. I always do. And he was just like, I'm not a. allowing you to watch that because that's one one girl dating 15 guys. And I just, if you're

allowing you. Allowing you. Oh, huh. Yeah. Okay. He was like, if you're watching that, you're going to go out and do that. Meanwhile, he's watching Dexter and about, I was going to say, he's watching Dexter. That's not how that works. Oh, man. I told him right then and there, I was like, I don't like this because I already feel like you're clipping my wings. And he would manipulate me and he would make me feel bad. for watching TV shows. And I told him, I was like, we haven't even made it to your house yet.

And you're already controlling me and telling me what I can and can't do. And he's like, I'm not controlling you. You should already just not want to do these things. We would fight a lot. But it's also like, I've never fault in a relationship and not how to end in a breakup. Every fight I've been in,

we've always just broke up and been done in my previous relationships. Right. So now how we were fighting, it was like kind of just like, oh, this is kind of cool. Like we can fight and then get over it and be back to normal and like romanticizing the notebook, I guess, you know. This is your life partner. You love to hate them. Like it's part of your dance. Yeah. Yeah. So I get out there and four days after I move out there, it's my birthday. So I'm like, first of all, I'm kind of irritated because on my birthday, we got into a fight because one of my

my guy friends text me happy birthday. And I literally told him, I was like, can we not do this? It's my birthday. Like, yeah, can we just not, right? Just today. Yeah, I was like, it literally, you've met all of my friends. I was like, I've never done anything with this guy. Like, I don't know. But I mean, I could see how that could make someone insecure, but also, like, let's calm down. You can't say you're not allowed to. Yeah, don't say not allowed. Like, that's absolutely not going to work out. Yeah. No, I totally. totally can see that to you, like, how it would make you feel uncomfortable. So that's why I just blocked him, even though this is my freaking best friend, I blocked him. And I removed him off

everything. And I was like, well, that make you happy? I was like, I can talk to him whenever I'll come home or whatever. But I was like, I'm just like, if this will make you happy, I'll just do it. Like, I just don't want to fight on my birthday. Well, for the love of God, it's my birthday. It makes me sad. Let's calm down. Yeah. And we're just texting back and forth at this point because he's out in the lake. So meanwhile, while I'm in there all by myself, my mom calls me. And she was like, hey, are you near him right now? And I was like, no. And she was like, well, I'm going to send you something. I want you to delete it right off of your phone as soon as you get it. And she was like, this is what your dad just sent to me. Oh, no. What is it? Oh, I open my phone and it's a mugshot

of him. Wait, you didn't see that before? No, because it got expung. and dropped. So apparently my app doesn't show things that have been dropped, I guess. Yeah, they don't. Okay. Y'all, there's a way around that. Yeah, I was going to say, McKenzie, how do we, how do we see that stuff? Yeah. And, well, I like, me, like, back then when I looked him up and everything, I thought, oh, this app is good enough. Like, it shows me literally everything. So I've seen all I need to see. Well, literally, if you Google his name, it's the first thing that comes up. But I didn't go that far. You were like, I've seen his TikTok, I've seen his Instagram, I've seen his background check. Wow. So I see this and it's just a charge for harassment. My mom was like, just don't tell him about it because I don't want him to get mad at us for

listening to you or whatever or mad at you. We don't know what he would do. And she was just like, did you know anything about this? And I was like, no, but now I'm scared. Even though it's just an harassment charge. Like, I don't know the story at all. So I was like, oh, shoot. So now I'm like looking at him in a different light already. Yes. Okay. Does it say when the charge was? Yeah. It was the previous year. So it was like five months before we start talking before all this happened because it was all so fast. So I see that and I kind of just keep that in the back of my head because at the end of the day, it's a harassment charge. Like, it can literally be for anything. Yep. And I was like, I don't want to bring this up to him right now. We literally just fought about my

guy best friend. I'm not going to bring it up right now and continue this fight on my freaking birthday. So I kind of like forget about it. And I just go on about my day. And we continue to just live life. Meanwhile, he's not going to work at all. What do you mean? So because he works for his family, he can like kind of just go as he pleases. So both of us just like every day we're trying to move stuff, trying to get like our life going here. Yeah. The fights happen so often that it's almost every day. We had a little swing outside and I would go sit on the swing and debrief out there. And he would come sit beside me and I would just look at him and I would be like, I'm so tired of fighting. Like why do we fight every day. This is mentally exhausting. You make me feel crazy. I've never fought like this with

anybody else before. And he would look at me too and be like, you know, I don't want to fight like that. Like, I think he really did like to fight or something because he would start an argument every day. And it was just simple arguments, just him asking me to do things that I was like, you can do it yourself. You know, like, I would kind of stand up for myself in a sense and just be like, no, like do it yourself and that's when he would just throw everything back on me so we just got into a lot of fights about him trying to control me and I just don't like to be controlled so I would fight back and there were some some days I just chose to bite my tongue and just bow down and do what he said because I didn't want to get into another fight but when I tell you it was probably we got into a fight

out of seven days we probably got into a fight four or five days so it was a lot and I was going to get into real estate out there. So I was already taking courses to get my real estate license. So he told me, I can move out there. And he will cover all of my bills and all of that stuff for like three months or however long it took for me to get my real estate license there. And he would constantly hold that over my head. So we'd get into a fight and he'd be like, let's see if your bills get paid this month. Oh, no, that's not going to work out, fella. We, I don't know. That's not going to freaking work out. You poor thing. Yeah, that's all.

awful that is so manipulative and gross so this is like three weeks into me living out there we're just going about life he's not going to work um doing my real estate course all day while he's just out mowing grass occasionally and just random random stuff watching dexter right watching dexter learning how to kill people literally so we really like just doing this whole playing house thing trying to get everything moved in and all of that so we had a trip planned to go to this competition for a kids league that he coached. And it was like an eight, nine hour drive away. Like it was, it was a pretty far drop. So we had a lot of time to like talk in the car. Yeah. And this is when I decide to bring up that charge. I found out about him. I was thinking,

how do you like casually bring that up to someone? Do you just like, I am curious how you did it? Well, I told him because my brother was getting married in two months. And he was constantly saying, like, I want to come with you to the wedding and all this stuff. Let me be your plus one. Well, my brother wanted the wedding to only be very small people that they knew. He didn't even want me to have a plus one. Some of his friends that had girlfriends weren't even allowed to come because like, that's how small they wanted it. So I hadn't mentioned to my brother about it before.

I was just like, hey, can he come and be my plus one? And my brother was like, no, because initially my dad hated the fact that I was wanting to move out there in the first place. Sure, of course. Yeah. So my dad hates this guy. Literally, he told me before I left. He was like, I just don't like you being that far out there because if something happens, I can't be there to help you. Yeah.

So that being said, my brother knows that my dad hates the guy I'm with. So my brother was like, well, even if he did come to our wedding, our dad's going to be there. and that interaction, like, I don't want them to meet for the first time at my wedding. Yeah. Fair. So I was like, I'd get that or whatever. Well, on this truck ride, he's just sitting there, like, constantly telling me, he's like, I really want you to talk to your brother.

Maybe he'll, like, end up let me come to the wedding and all this stuff, like, pushing me to go to the, to get him to come to the wedding. Why is he pushing it so hard? And you know what he said? Oh, God. He was like, well, if this is my family and my sister wouldn't let me bring you to the wedding, I just wouldn't go to the wedding. Ew.

No, he needs to quit. Stop it. And I bring it up in the truck and I was like, hey, my brother, you know, say he lets you come to the wedding. Like, I will have a conversation with him and say he lets you come. I'm just going to let you know right now that if you meet my dad, there's probably going to be a conversation brought up eventually about your mugshot. And he was like, my what?

And I was like, well, somehow my dad found your. mugshot and sent it to me. And I haven't said anything about it because I didn't think it would ever be like an issue. But like, you know, now if you're going to meet my dad, I don't want you to be blindsided and thrown off my dad asking you about it. Okay. So you came in and you were like, I'm on your team. Yeah. Okay. And he was like, well, I'll tell you what happened during that charge. It was literally nothing. And so right in then and there, he's telling me that he was in a relationship the year before me, and that girl started dating a cop and would tell that cop that, like, he was showing up to her house and all of those stuff.

And just because she told the cop that he got pissed off and was like, oh, we didn't charge him for harassment and all those stuff. And he also said that when all that happened, like the harassment charge, him and his ex saw each other in a bar. And she came up to him and decked him in the face, but she had like a beer bottle in her hand. And so he was going to charge her for assault. So I was just like, okay, whatever.

Like anyways, the harassment charge was nothing you did. So, you know, like, he was like, and I'll tell your dad that too. Like, he literally went into depth about this entire story. My ex was crazy. Oh, yeah, exactly. So that whole week, I went knowing that and everything. I told my mom about it. I was like, oh, yeah, like he just thought it was basically a misunderstanding all of that stuff.

Well, on the way home, one of his friends called. call him. And his friend was like, my girlfriend has been cheating on me with her ex-husband and like, I want to fight the dude. He was like, but where can I go that you guys can get me out of it once I get thrown in jail and stuff like that? Because he was like, I'm going to go to jail for fight and then all of this. That just doesn't, no, don't like it. Okay. Oh, boy. I'm like hearing all this. And so he's sitting over here saying, oh, well, you need to go to this county and this county because this is where we have the ties with. And so I already know all this stuff. And it's like where we've lived at. So I was like, okay, so around, he's got like the entire county we live in.

So I was like, okay, but I like clearly wasn't thinking anything was going to happen to me at this moment. Like, I'm just like, oh, good to know. Like he's got the cops by the balls. Yeah. So we get back and it's fourth of July. I'm thinking we're going to go out to the lake and we're all going to have a grand old time and it's going to be fun and all this stuff. Well, it was definitely not. I mean, it was just a, oh, God. It was a terrible weekend. And I met one of his friends, girlfriends. It was like the only girl I got along with there. And she had asked me to come over and take a shot with her. Oh, no. I took a shot with her. And that started a whole argument with him. And he got pissed off. And he was like, tell me what, because I told him, I said, I have more fun back in my hometown, Daring Fourth of

lot than I do out here. He's like, then why don't you go back out there then? I looked at him because not only did he hold the bills over my head, he would always say, why don't you just go back then. But if you did, he'd probably cry about it. Yeah. So I was pissed off about that and we got into a fight about that. And his way to resolve that was to take me to a little store that it's like a draft through. You could get a whole gallon of a margarita to go. you're in one of those places that has drive-through margaritas gone, which I loved. Like, that was cool. That sounds like totally convenient.

Yeah, but anyways, he tried to like get me that and I was like, you just yelled at me for drinking. Like, I'm not going to drink right now. So that was just a, that was a whole other little argument that happened on July 4th. That will play a role later. So all this was July and we're still just doing life. like I said, he would, he went to work probably two days the entire time I lived out there with him. Wow. Really? Yeah. And meanwhile, I would cook every night. I would clean the whole house and

everything every day. Like, I did all the ones. I literally did everything, which I love because I love to clean and do all that. So like, I was fine. You're fine. Yeah. As long as he's not like demanding it. He's got to go to work though to make this work. Like, yeah. So we were living the traditional relationship he wanted. So August 1st, we had this trip planned. We were going to go to float down a river, go to a little

cabin out in the middle of nowhere. That sounds amazing. Go float down this river, go to a concert. He's going to ruin it in. He's going to ruin it. Oh, boy. Is it just the two of you? No. So we were going with his brother and his brother's girlfriend and all of their friends.

So we get there. And I like taste on my mom because this is like such a it's like made to look really really old but there's like three parts of the cabin there's like a main one and then two little small cabins on the side okay so it's just really really cute and rustic so I call my mom and I was like look at how cute this place is but it also looks like I might get murdered here and and I was like oh god I shouldn't have said that yeah now your mom's like okay great I'll be there right now I'm on my way to come get you So my mom was like just leave your locational and like all this stuff because she's just like just like keep us updated and everything.

So we are just getting settled in that night. And meanwhile I had a drink. He had like two drinks and we're outside. And they want more alcohol. So I go into town, which is 20 minutes away from us. So I don't know how much he's had a drink while I was gone. But he was drinking straight bourbon. So I don't know how much he had a drink.

But I got back and we were like all blowing up the tubes and stuff to go, tube down the river the next day. Well, my best friend calls me. And since moving out there and like trying to get our life together out there, I haven't really talked to many people back home. Like I was just so busy out there. Oh, no. So when she called me, she had also just moved away.

So like we both were busy. And this is the first time I've got to talk to her in about a month. So I was like, oh, well, we're not doing anything. Like, we're just all chilling out the house. So I'll answer this phone call and just talk to her. So I stay on the phone with her for like 30 minutes. And Julian comes up to me. And he was like basically saying like, hey, I'm going to get in the shower sitting.

And I was like, okay, well, let me know when you get in the shower. I'll get off the phone and come get the shower with you. And he was like, well, why are you on the phone so long? Like everyone's wondering why you're on the phone. I was like, I'm talking to my friend. And why does it matter? I haven't spoke to her literally much. Yeah, go away.

It's my best friend. So I continue to say on the phone with her. And then he pokes his head in the cabin again. And he was like, hey, I'm hopping in the shower. Like, let me know he's getting in the shower. Well, my friend on the phone thought that he said, hurry up and get off the phone, which he didn't at this time, surprisingly. But he was like, what did she just say?

Like, he heard her ask that. it was like oh hell no i didn't say that but if i did you're going to get the fuck off the phone oh what and i was like i was like oh we're not even about to go down this road so i was like hey let me call you back i'm about to go see what this is about so me and my best friend hang up the phone and he's in the shower which where the shower was was an outhouse shower so it's literally like outside so i go in there and I was like, hey, we're not even doing this. Why are you still being controlling? Like, this is getting worse and worse and all this stuff.

And I was like, this is not okay. And he just starts yelling at me. He's like, you're not fucking taking a shower with me and all this stuff. And I was like, okay then. I guess I'll wait for you to get out of the shower. So me being petty, I grab the towels. I grabbed the towels that like, oh my God, you pulled like a parent trap. I love it.

I grabbed them. And I go back into the cabin because I was like, well, he's going to happen around outside naked. He comes back in and he's like, I had to draw off with the hand towel because you literally took the towels. He's like, F you. He's like, you know what? I don't even want you here anymore. Get out. He's like, I paid for this.

You're not welcome here. And I'm like, dude, we are four hours away from where we live. Like, where, how am I going to leave anywhere? Yeah. So I don't move. So he comes over to the bed and he picked me up. and starts charging out the door. And I was like, what the heck?

So he throws me up against the door. And he's got me pinned on the door. And so I literally like have my hand on his throat. And I'm like pushing him away from me and stuff like that. Ashley, oh my God. He lets me down finally. And I go try to grab my phone to call one of the girls that were inside the next cabin. Because it was just me and him in this other cabin.

So the main cabin is where everybody else was. I tried to call one of the girls in there and it rang one and he grabs my phone and shuts it off and throws it away because I tried to be like, hey, Siri, call 911, like all this stuff too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he, that didn't happen because he just turned my phone off and threw it. And I'm yelling at him. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm in his face.

He's in my face. And he's like, fucking hit me then, fucking hit me. And I was like, in my mind, I'm thinking about that. X that did hit him and he tried to charge. So I go over to the window because now he threw my phone and I try to bang on the window because there's people outside. But they have the music turned up loud. Oh, no, they can't hear you.

They can't hear me. So when he comes over to yank me away from the window, I get pissed off and he's so close to me. Like, I lift my knee up to like, I didn't kick his balls like hard or anything, but I grades them because I was like, back the F up or I will like, hit them hard, you know. Self-defense is necessary in this situation. And when I did that, it pissed him off.

So he grabs my throat and, like, slings me on the ground. And my whole face hit the ground. Oh, my God. So I was like, that happened. He snapped out of it. It's like he had to hurt me to quit arguing with me. I was going to ask you, yeah, like, could you see in his, like a change in him when he was being that way?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you could. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was like he saw red and then as soon as he would hurt me, he just would stop. So then he finally was like, oh my God, I can't believe I just did that. And he goes outside and sits around the cabin and he's just sitting on the ground crying because he was like,

I can't believe I just put my hands on you and did that like all this stuff. And I was just like. Yeah, same dick. And now you have to comfort him. Yeah. Yes. Yes. It escalated so fast.

And we actually had a conversation before I even moved out there about abusive relationships because I had told him about my dad and my dad saying, I don't want something to happen to you out there and you may not be able to help you. So I had told him about that. I was like, hey, listen, everyone's worried about me coming out there and I don't want to get out there and something does happen. You know, we talked about all this before. And he was like, no, I was raised better than that and everything, which he was.

like I've been around to his family. I know how they raised their other boys and stuff. So I was completely under their impression like, yeah, we fall all the time, but never did I ever think that he would lay his hands on me. I think in that moment, I was just kind of shocked and taken back by like, okay, well, you told me you would never do this. So I'm like, it's, it's okay. I was like, we've been drinking. Like, you know, just, I mean, don't let it happen again. Like, why did this even start, you know? And I mean, that was like a minor thing. So it didn't really bother me that bad. Like, I wrestle with my brothers growing up and all that stuff. Like, I can handle my own when it comes to short. Yeah, but it's not about being able to handle it. It's, no, you don't deserve to be

abused. Like, that's abused. It's horrible. Yeah. So, I'm so sorry that happened. We're just outside talking and we decide it's midnight at this point. And he's like, let's just leave and all this stuff. And I was like, I don't want to leave right now. Like, I came here to have a good time this weekend. We haven't even tubed on the river yet or went to this concert. I was like, let's stay here, sleep it off, try to have a good day tomorrow and we'll go from there. So we stayed the night and we just go to sleep like nothing ever happened, wake up the next morning. And then we start going tubing on the river. Well, all of our phones are in a Ziploc bag or whatever, you know, to keep it away away from the water. Yeah. So we're tubing on the river and I see him on my phone because we had pulled

over at a little sandbar and we're just all like hanging out there. And I see him on my phone because my phone was connected to Spotify. So I see that. Okay. But I just think that he's on my phone changing music. Well, mind you, before I moved out there, we both agreed to delete Snapchat. So I haven't had Snapchat on my phone. Okay. And you're reasoning behind that? Just I mean, I feel like It's somewhat common knowledge, but... Well, no, when I left that beach trip, he told me on the phone, he was like, hey, I'm going to delete my Snapchat. Like, you're about to move out here.

We're going to see each other every day. I'm going to delete mine. And he never asked me to delete mine, but I was like, well, I only Snapchat him. So I was like, it would be pointless to have one. Yeah. So I just deleted mine and never worried about it again. Okay. So I'm thinking, like, we get off the river and we're all going to go to dinner that night and

it was all going to be good. So we go back up to the house and I'm in the shower. And next thing I know, the door slings wide open. And he's holding my phone with Snapchat pulled up. How he re-downloaded it is out of my mind because like you have to have email. Yeah. Yes. But I have a notes app on my on my old phone.

I had a notes app that I literally kept locked. So I also don't know how he got into that unless he used my face. I was asleep. Yeah. Or something to get into that. I would not put that past him. And so I'm assuming that's what happened. Or shadow him because I'll tell you how I found that out later.

Oh, God. So the next thing I know, I'm in the shower and he's holding my phone. And he's showing me a picture and all these texts that I had sent to somebody like a year ago before I even had met him. I was like, first of all, I'm in shock because I was like, why do you have my Snapchat? Like, I've never re-downloaded that. A and B, why are you bringing up stuff from my past? Because if I was doing something in this relationship, I could see him getting bad. But I'm like, dude, this was a year before I even knew you.

So I don't understand. But anyways, he just sees that, throws my phone down, calls me a whore, grabs my throat, and shuts me in the shower. Which is, the shower is completely made of stone. So there's like a little stool that all rock and everything. And I was like, dude, I like fell against the wall. And I was like, if I would have fell and hit my head or something, I would have been dead thin and there. So then he runs out of the shower, the outhouse. And I don't know where he went.

But I had just got in the shower. So I'm like, well, I can't finish my shower now. And I've never seen how he would act if he was truly angry. Like I've never been around him truly mad. Like our fights are simple little fights. Like I said, it never escalated. but because I knew that the night before, he had gotten so mad and already put his hands on me because of just a phone call. Now he's pulled up my phone and saw pictures and stuff. Regardless,

it wasn't anything I did in that relationship. It was all in the past, but he's still so mad from seeing all this stuff. He was a lot more angry than he was the night before. So I knew what he did the night before over nothing. So it's like, well, tonight, now he's more angry. So what could he do now? And that's what, that's what did scare me the most because I didn't, I didn't know what it could escalate to. I'm scared. And I don't want to be locked in this cabin again held hostage. Right. So I was like, well, he's not in here right now. So I threw my bikini back on and I booked it inside. I ran inside to the main cabin and I ran to the first person I could find. And I showed them the bruises on my arms from the night before. The bruise I had like right here from

him slamming me. And I was like, guys, this happened last night. And I was like, he's mad right now. And I don't know what's about to happen. I'm scared. And I was like, I'm balling my eyes out right now. Because like, first of all, we drink on the river all day. And I'm like telling them this, all of the girls, all of the guys, they go outside and they're like, we're going to go find them like, let's calm him down. Yeah. Okay. And so all the girls inside, they're all sitting around me. And they're like, yeah, you're not the first girl this has happened to you. Oh, my God. They know of others?

Oh, my God. I'm, I'm, hmm. Gotta remind everybody, she is here telling her story with us. She is okay. Again, spoiler alert, very good spoiler alert. She's okay. I feel like we need to remember that the whole time. It's one of those.

But it's so much, right? I'm so angry. My heart is racing the whole story. I'm so mad. We'll do a deeper debrief, dogfish debrief at the end of part two, which will be next week. But for now, we're going to put some resources in the show notes that are related to this and we'll put more next week. And we just want to hear your thoughts and support for Ashley or anything that comes up for you. We'll be in all the comments and stuff on all of the platforms.

And this is a really tough one. They're all tough. obviously. It's not like one is, you know, everybody's got a story. So I'm just grateful she's here. But we would love to. I mean, even though we're only kind of halfway through the story, I really want to open the floor up. So if you have any kind words that you want to share, you know, now or you can wait till the end. But we always relay those to our guests so they can know that they're supported. And if you have experienced something similar and you want to share your story too, make sure you email us, tell us your story. The more we talk about it, the more it's heard,

the more there's a spotlight, the more there's a community, a sense of community for everyone that needs that support. So make sure you email us. Hannah, Hannah knows the email address. Yes, I do. Investigate at the datingdetectivespodcast.com. You're so smart. I got it. But yeah, I mean, a lot of, I hope that other survivors of this feel less alone hearing these stories. And if you, yeah, have anything you want to share. or if you have a story that's not the same as this, even if it's a love story. I see I'm like, I need to talk about something happy. You can send that. And some people, I notice that some people say, well, I didn't want to send in my story because it doesn't seem crazy enough. And it's like, listen,

you guys, this isn't about crazy stories. This is about your personal experience. Yeah. And they're a different level. There's something that's not as crazy, but you still have a story to tell. You still have a platform to stand on. We will be your voice if you need it. It doesn't have to be like, And we need to redefine what trauma means because it's not always a person in a dark alley jumping on you. Like it is subtle. It is some people. It's most likely people you love. Like the person that's most likely to kill you is your husband. And also when you get like, you know, we're always into the professional points of view in terms of any psychologists or people that work with assholes like this guy. Like what's his deal? I don't know why I always want to have

some kind of like understanding of their behavior. Maybe it just makes me feel safer. Nope. I think so many people would totally understand that. So stay tuned for next week to get the second half of the story. You guys, you're going to shit your pants. Like you are just, it's not over. And just when you think it's over, it's not over again.

And then it's not over again. And you're just by the end of it, you're like, I don't even know. Like, what is even have? It's wild. It's wild. We love you guys. And we are all. for you and we're all in this together and

huhy as all i mean as always this is like you know we always come back to it please trust your fempt tuition trust your fentuation see you next week