The Debaters - 1904: Staycations & Partner with More Success

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

Patrick Ledwell and John Sheehan bring it home when they discuss if a staycation is the best type of vacation. Then, This Hour Has 22 Minutes’s comedy couple Chris Wilson and Stacey McGunnigle are in good company when they go head-to-head on whether it’s okay for one partner to have more success than the other.

Hi there, listeners. Steve Patterson here. If you're a frequent traveler like I am, you know that traveling's great. But as a wise young girl with fancy red shoes once said, there's no place like home. That's why when I travel, by myself or with my family, I often book Airbnbs for that homey touch. Like the one I stayed at in Stratford, Ontario recently, where I performed a show and took in some Shakespeare.

Though to be clear, I didn't perform Shakespeare. There's no perchance of that happening. I was not meant to be, or not to be. Anyway, my point is, I like the feeling of home when I'm on the road, and I feel like I'm not alone in this, especially when I'm traveling with my family, which got me thinking, when we're on the road, our house could be a home away from home for fellow travelers, too, if we host it on Airbnb. It just makes sense. Actually, it makes dollars. And those dollars could help pay for our next family trip. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host.

Something to prepend on and on. This is a CBC podcast. This podcast is an extended version of The Debaters, which may contain more mature themes. To stream the radio-friendly version of this episode, download the CBC Listen app or go to cbc.ca slash the debaters. And thanks for listening to the CBC. Hey Canada, we're ready to retrieve as many doggone laughs as we can from Newfoundland and Labrador. It's The Debaters!

The Debaters, where comedians fight with facts and funny, and this audience picks the winner. Now here's a man we think is Labrador-able, Steve Patterson. Hey, thanks, Graham. Hello, Canada, and welcome back to The Debaters. We're here in beautiful Newfoundland and Labrador, a place with lots of great tourist attractions. One such attraction is in Porto Shua called Ben Plowman's Museum of Whales and Things.

Look, I get the whales part. That's self-explanatory. It's the and things that piques my interest. What things? It's kind of like Bed Bath and Beyond, you know? Where's the beyond? I know it's beyond Canada now, but still. Where exactly?

Maybe the beyond is where Ben found the things for his museum. Anyway, you should definitely check out Whales and Things in Porto Shua, where I imagine the welcome sign says, Porto Shua, population quite a few people and things. Now it's time to meet two debaters who are here for a whale of a time. This comic did door-to-door sales

with his arms full of products, which is why his face might ring a time. This comic did door-to-door sales with his arms full of products, which is why his face might ring a bell. It's Patrick Ledwell. He eyes Patrick Ledwell. There he is, sliding confidently, taking the podium to my right. And this comic thought his tree really looked sick when its bark was worse than its blight. It's Newfoundland's John Sheehan. Come on out here, John. Oh, listen to the crowd. For the hometown kid, come back.

John Sheehan. Your topic is one that we hope will help you rest and relax. Staycations. Are they the best vacations? Most of us have the luxury of choosing to either take a vacation or a staycation. But you know who doesn't? Astronauts on the International Space Station. They only get staycations,

which is ironic because they are literally traveling around the world. Plus, they're stuck with the all-you-can-eat freeze-dried space food buffet, though at least you'll never know if you've eaten too much because you're weightless. And there's never any entertainment except when one of the astronauts pulls out a guitar.

And the others contemplate throwing that astronaut out into the nebula. Now for a debate that we think is out of this world. So, whereas it offers familiar surroundings, more affordability, and less travel time, be it resolved, a staycation is the best type of vacation. Patrick, you're arguing for this, please. You have two minutes. Starting now, Patrick Ledwell. I'm from Prince Edward Island. I know you don't want to hear from me. Disappointing little island brother from another mother. But sometimes the most disappointing sibling is the one who tells the truth.

Like yourselves, I live in a touristic island paradise where for two magical weeks of the year... LAUGHTER The weather takes a brief pause from trying to wipe people off the face of the place. LAUGHTER from trying to wipe people off the face of the place? Why would I vacation elsewhere in that precious time and miss everything? If you're a true Newfoundlander, why would you ever leave? Have you even watched your own tourism commercials?

Gotten high on your own supply? Hence the metrosexual couple floating in a dory with a massive iceberg drifting within arm's reach. Other side of the boat, at least three humpback whales breach the water. At all times. Why would you ever leave? For starters, it's too dangerous to leave. In a dory with all those icebergs and humpbacks. You're going to hit something in sync,

you tiny idiot Titanic with oars. Stay in Newfoundland, where your food is so safe, there are a few other cuisines based entirely on never having access to a fridge. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Other places, foods are full of stinging spices and pointy vegetables. Not in Newfoundland, where the food brings you more safety salt than licking the Transcanada on an icy morning. Yes, I'm an outsider.

But I say to Newfoundlanders, flip your traditional script. You should stay where you're to, and let the rest of the world come where you're at! Thank you, Newfoundland! Patrick Ledwell, ladies and gentlemen. Whoo! Very, very strong on the concept of the staycation here in Newfoundland. God, I don't want to leave here now.

Patrick Ledwell, everybody. He's in a league. But now, here to tell us why vacations are far and away superior to staycations for him, it's Newfoundland's John Sheehan. Staycation. A lovely play on words by someone who was either too cheap or couldn't afford to go somewhere warm. I don't know why people choose these staycations over, you know, real ones.

But I know why they're a bad idea. You take the tourism industry, just to start. Tourists, those lovely, innocent travelers that we take under our wings and milk them for every cent we can, all the while turning yes boy and what do you add up to 11? Our economy can't rely on staycationers to buy the kind of things we sell tourists.

The rest of Canada, you know, they can sit there secure in their mental superiority over the Newfies, but it's not us going home all over the world with cans of genuine Newfoundland fog. That one kills me. The fog kills me. Now, it's not only Newfoundland tourism that would suffer from staycations.

Don't get me wrong. P.E.I. What are they going to do with their tourists? How many copies of Bud to Spud will they sell? Don't get me wrong. PEI. What are they going to do with their tourists? How many copies of Bud to Spud will they sell? Take a quick look at families. Oh, it's a beautiful Christmas morning. Magical.

All year, you've been hinting at the kids that they're going to go somewhere fun this year. All their friends have already been to Disney World this year so they're pumped. That's it. That has to be it. They're going to Disney World. Now try to get them excited about something with 13 holes of mini golf and a closed waterslide. Stop the madness. If you're gonna stay home, stay home out of it. We don't need a new word for everything.

Thank you. John Sheehan says say no to staycations. All right, debaters, it's time now for the bare-knuckle round. We're debating if a staycation is the best vacation. So here are the house rules. Avoid day tripping over your own words while punching residents into your opponent's argument.

Cheap shots won't get you a pad on the back, but good jokes, discounts. So I'll let you two bring this one home, starting now. Oh, Patrick. I'm a fan, man. You're a funny guy. I'm a fan. I just think it's adorable... ...that you're gonna compare the wind in PEI with Newfoundland. Spend a weekend in a wreck house, it'll blow the green gables off of you.

All island boys have the green gables removed at the age of 14. I don't know. I don't know. Home is safe and sure. The weather here comes at you on an icy slant for nine months, but you deal with it. You're resilient. You go up to George Street. It's such a safe place in the wintertime. It is so safe up there. It's safe on George Street? Okay.

Yeah, because with all the salt in your diet, if even a half dozen people pee in the street, the pavement is so bare. You look at that bare pavement and you say, you're in Newfoundland. Very safe. We have pavement,, you're in Newfoundland. Ah, very sick. We have pavement, thank you very much, PEI. It's not fit to drive on, but we have it.

We need tourists. I can't stress this enough. And we disappoint them, sure. We have tourists that are disappointed, especially the people who leave the Dillow Museum thinking, you know, when they found out it was a boat building. I think that might be a good place to stop the fair enough around. We got excellent points on either side. And just in case you're out there across the country, Dildo is a town here in Newfoundland. It's time now for the firing line.

In my hand, I have a list of questions on staycations being the best vacation. Brought to you by the vacation that no pet wants to go on, the spaycation. According to worldwidewords.com, some people have attributed the invention of the phrase staycation to what Canadian institution? John?

There we go. John on the bell, yes. Mental Health Association. Incorrect. I think the bell made you angry. Patrick? The word staycation was invented by the bell made you angry. Patrick? The word staycation was invented by the Toronto Maple Leafs. And their second round playoff hopes.

I'ma stay. I'ma stay here. Bye. It was actually, we got to give a nice shout out to the television show Corner Gas. That's where a lot of people got staycation from. In 2022, the Ontario government gave residents what incentive to take staycations? Patrick?

Home-based beer delivery. Skip the dishes, the laundry, caring about your family. Just... You guys laugh. I have to live there. John? CFL tickets. Oh.

The incentive that the Ontario government made to take staycations in 2022 was the temporary Ontario staycation tax credit, which saved 20% on accommodations. Yeah, but they had to stay in Ontario. Yes. TV travel host Samantha Brown's suggestions for giving your house a hotel vibe include buying some fresh flowers,

investing in a nice candle or two, and what else? Patrick. Wearing the same robe a stranger just wore. You wanna make your house have a hotel vibe, you can buy fancier coffee than you normally would. A 2024 Super Bowl ad from vacation rental website Verbo was widely criticized by Newfoundlanders for featuring the song Eyes the Bye over visuals of vacationers horrified to find what Patrick severed

codfish heads in their beds I bring them home Delilah it was not that but that's a good answer. Three points. I'd say they were horrified to find out that they would have to pay to kiss a fish. No. No, I have not seen this ad, but it was during the Super Bowl, so a few people did.

They had eyes to buy for a Verbo ad playing over a rental that's been overrun by livestock. And even Premier Andrew Fury demanded in a social media post that the company do better. Well, that'll scare him. Yeah. It's my favorite name of a Premier. It sounds like a Marvel character.

Dr. Fury! I survive, it'll cut you in half! And that is the firing line, everybody. Just about that magical time here at the Holy Heart Theater where the audience votes. But first, here again to tell everyone that he considers a staycation to be nothing short of a last resort, let's hear again from John Sheehan. Let's look at packing for a staycation and a vacation. You pack to go down south

for a week. What do you need? Six t-shirts, six pairs of shorts, a pair of sandals, a pair of sunglasses And you're going to wear the sandals to and from the airport, so what odds? Packed for a staycation, you need six t-shirts, six long t-shirts Six pairs of pants, six jeans, a light jacket A fall jacket, a rain jacket, a light sweater, a hoodie A jacket to wear out by the fire, boots, sneakers, and if you forget the sunglasses, what odds? 2020, I had a stroke. I still have high blood pressure. If you can tell me where to go in

Newfoundland to eat something that's not deep fried, I'm all ears. Do you really want to be somewhere where people can still get a hold of you easily? No. Get out. Stop it. Go see a world with at least a glimpse of no rain, drizzle, and fog. Besides, we already have staycations. They're called weekends. Thank you. John Sheehan, very matter of fact, he does not like the concept of the staycation, and we just got a full inventory of his house. Thanks, John. Now, here to tell us why,

when it comes to celebrating staycations, this homeboy is always in the house. His words, not mine. It's Patrick Ledwell! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Do I contradict my own argument by even coming here?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh! Oh! Very well. Don't guilt me. Recovering Catholic. I got that on my own.

Listen. I'm sacrificing myself to come amongst you. To bring you the truth so you can be saved. Sound familiar? Saved two weeks of your life, mainly spent in the infernal pit called Toronto Pearson. When you're from the East Coast like us, every single Air Canada flight would prefer to route

and de-louse you in Toronto first. Punished for your life choices. At the smallest possible gate, waiting on multiple delays of the smallest possible plane. Dehydrated on packaged crackers, pressing a metal armrest into the temple of your own head. At several points, you may ask yourself, am I dead? Holy hurt, be saved, this purgatory! Say the blaze is home! Thank you, Newfoundland! Patrick Ledwell!

He makes some great points. John Sheehan does too. Let's see what the audience has decided. By applause, who agreed with John that where staycations are concerned, you can never really go home? John Sheehan. All right. A lot of love for John.

And who could have listened to Patrick tell some hard home truths about staycations until even the cows came home? Patrick Ledwell. Woo! That's it. They have spoken. The winner on behalf of staycations is Patrick Ledwell.

Big hand for Patrick Ledwell. And John Sheehan, everybody. You're listening to CBC Radio's The Debaters. Want access to bonus content and information on upcoming tour dates? Then be sure to follow us on Instagram at at CBC Debaters. Hi there, listeners. Steve Patterson here. You know, I get asked to emcee weddings a lot, and I'm happy to do it for close friends and family,

especially when the wedding is somewhere fun, like, say, Reykjavik, Iceland. So my family and I booked an Airbnb in Reykjavik for a week, and it was awesome. There was plenty of room for all of us, and we met lots of locals in the neighborhood. And that made me think about how much our home would be appreciated by fellow travelers as an Airbnb too, since usually it just sits empty while we're away.

It's in a great Toronto neighborhood full of restaurants, shops, and friendly people. It has room for a group of four to all have their own rooms. And honestly, we'd appreciate the house earning a bit of income to help with our next trip. Intrigued? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.

And speaking of hosting, that couple I emceed the wedding for? Still married. That's how good I am. Though I guess I can't take all the credit for that. Anyway, let's get to this week's show. Hey there, I'm David Common. If you're like me, there are things you love about living in the GTA and things that drive you absolutely crazy. Every day on This Is Toronto, we connect you to what matters most about life in the GTA,

the news you gotta know, and the conversations your friends will be talking about. Whether you listen on a run through your neighbourhood or while sitting in the parking lot that is the 401, check out This Is Toronto wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, St. John's, I just have one quick question for you. Are you ready for your next pair of debaters? Looking forward to this one. This comic once had an incompetent chiropractor

and got all bent out of shape about it. It's This Hour Has 22 Minutes' Chris Wilson! Chris Wilson! One of the stars of This Hour Has 22 Minutes. Hello, Steve. Hi, friend. And this comic posts photos of tree fungus on social media that get thousands of likens.

It's also 22-minute Stacey McGonigal. Stacey McGonigal and Chris Welton. Your topic is one that I think might have been handpicked for you, and it's one that I hope succeeds. Is it okay for a couple if one partner is more successful than the other now Chris Stacey you're both stars of this hour has 22 minutes and if I'm not mistaken if I have this right you're currently together in a successful relationship is that right

define successful and And define relationship. Okay. Okay, this is comedy, not counseling, so I'm going to move on. For the purpose of research, we were supplied with copies of your tax returns, and let's just say I hope one of you is buying the other a nice Jigs dinner after the show.

Now it's time for a debate that we think will really come together. So, whereas it encourages couples to support each other, leave egos at the door, and embrace differences, be it resolved, it's okay for one partner to have more success than the other. Chris, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes. Starting now, Chris Wilson. It is better when one person in a relationship is more successful. I would, of course, know. Whenever a fan comes up asking for a photo, it's so great to have Stacey by my side to hold the camera. Now, while searching the internet for opinions to use as my own, I found a quote. The quote went as follows.

A healthy relationship is built on an equal partnership. Anonymous. Maybe if they'd spent less time preaching relationship equality, we'd know who the hell they are. One person being more successful isn't bad. Look at Leonardo DiCaprio. He's able to put all those girls through school. Yeah.

There have been incredible couples where one was more successful than the other. Napoleon and what's her name? Johnny Cash and, um, and of course, Michelle Obama and I've forgotten. These are relationships that shaped our world. The Beatles, unequal, yet they were the greatest band of all time. I mean, Ringo isn't even the most successful Beatle if we define success as being alive. But Ringo tried to level the playing field, didn't he? And now we have to put up with Octopus's garden.

If Scottie Pippen was equal to Michael Jordan, then the world would have two amazing gambling addicts. We don't need it. It is proven in our great texts. William Shakespeare made Romeo and Juliet equal in wealth. And that resulted in double homicide. Interesting. Adam and Eve.

God cooked up Adam and then made Eve out of his rib like a chef making soup stock for later. They were unequal the way God intended. But yes, yes, now let's all watch Stacey McGonigal argue with God. Chris Wilson coming out swinging. Now, here to tell us why one partner achieving more success than the other is an epic failure as far as she's concerned, let's hear from Stacey McGonigal.

Thank you. Thank you, Chris, for that wonderful argument. I especially liked the jokes I helped you write. Thank you. Thank you so much. One partner cannot be more successful in the relationship. It's imbalanced and uncomfortable. A lot like seeing me around Chris Wilson when I'm wearing heels.

Inequality in a relationship is embarrassing. Just look at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. She's a billionaire and he has a podcast? Relationships need to be balanced. And if you don't believe me, I have one word for you. Stedman. Stedman and Oprah are the most imbalanced, and it's weird. Oprah doesn't even let him hold her purse.

That's Gale's job. Stedman lists his credits as an author, businessman, and long-time partner of Oprah. He listed that as his number three, but we all know it's his number one. Supporting Chris's argument is supporting a man who is constantly asking me, his successful TV girlfriend, to film his little skits for TikTok.

Do you know how hard it is as a successful TV woman to have a 39-year-old man ask you to help him go viral? Holding his greasy iPhone, watching him laugh at his own jokes, having to reassure him that he doesn't look bald from the back. I deserve better. We all deserve better. So say no to unequal partnerships and the improv shows they make you go see. Thank you. Whoo! Stacey McGonigal

with a very strong opening argument. It is time now for the bare-knuckle round. We're debating if it's okay for one partner to be more successful than the other. So it's time to advance your position with a series of successive and out-wages points. It's time for both of you to earn your government-mandated equal pay.

Starting now. For the record, my hair is thick and full. You can all see it. It's fine. For now. For now. The light is front-facing. Oh, God.

I hope it appears thick and full. But I would like now to return to Leonardo DiCaprio. Rose let Jack drown. Because she knew relationships shouldn't be equal. She let him sink to the bottom. No, she had to let him sink to the bottom. No, she had to let him sink to the bottom. What was Rose going to do? Support a part-time cartoonist for the rest of her life?

She said, draw me like one of your French girls, and he didn't even finish the damn painting. One person being more successful in a relationship is embarrassing. I know. 22 Minutes felt so bad for my boyfriend, they had to offer him a job. And you would be shocked how much they have to lower that camera just to find him. As of December 2022, the average male height in Canada is 5 foot 9 inches.

That's it. 175.26 centimeters. That's the bear knock around. That is the bear knock around. All right, debaters, it's time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on having a more successful partner brought to you by Batman sidekick Robin. What's a guy have to do to be number one in a partnership?

It makes a boy wonder. According to therapist Becky Whetstone, a more successful partner can support their less successful partner by never doing what? Chris? I'm going to answer just with a real answer. Never talk down to them. That's my answer.

And do you have a little joke you want to say, Stacey? I'm surprised you can talk down when you're always looking up. Stacy? My answer is never make them your emergency contact. Because what are they going to do? Get their mom to give them a ride to the hospital? Oh, they didn't like that one. That's okay. A more successful partner can support

their less successful partner by never using their power against their partner. Like saying things like, who do you think bought this nice house we're living in, eh? Oh, that sucks, because I love doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, saying things like, who do you think bought this nice house we're living in, eh? Oh, that sucks, because I love doing that. Yeah. Yeah. A University of Chicago study

found that husbands are more likely to do what when their wives make more money than they do? Stacey? Go bald. You want a silent man out there? Maybe. Go to Turkey for a hair transplant, Turkey? Those are both the same answers, but from different sides.

Apparently, according to a University of Chicago study, husbands, when their wives make more money than they do, are more likely to cheat on them Chicago study, husbands, when their wives make more money than they do, are more likely to cheat on them. Yes, I've heard that. How can they cheat when they don't have hair? What 1980s film carried the tagline, when mom goes to work, dad goes berserk?

Stacey. I'm sorry, Steve, I'm too young to answer that question. Okay, Chris? Yes, same answer from me. I'm dating a very young woman like a successful man would. I'll allow that one. The 1980s film that carried the tagline when mom goes to work, dad goes berserk,

was Mr. Mom. That's the firing line, everybody. That's a good place to stop it. We're debating whether it's okay to have one partner be more successful than the other with two real-life partners, at least at the time of this taping. And it's almost time for our Holy Heart Theatre audience

to pick a winner. But first, here again to show us that she's on the level with relationships being level, let's hear again for Stacey McGonigal. Chris Wilson is an idiot, and he farts and they smell. But I digress. Being the more successful person in the relationship is a burden.

I would know. Do you know how hard it is to find success on TV as a woman who's almost 40? It's near to impossible. I deserve an award from NASA, but do I get one? No. No, all I get is a boyfriend who practices close-up magic just for the hell of it. It's tough. It's not an easy life I've chosen. Relationships need equality to survive. And if they don't have it, you will end up like me, leaving the theater tonight, heading to a pub, and having to spend the rest of the night

listening to Chris Wilson ask, did I do good? Did people laugh? If you don't want to live like that, then vote for me. I love you all deeply. Good night and thank you. Stacey McGonigal

wants us all to be on an equal, loving playing field. Now, here to promote that old adage that all partners are equal, but some partners are more equal than others. Let's hear again from the, I'm going to say, perfectly average height, Chris Wilson. Thank you. Rising tides lift all boats. This is an old saying that shows two things. We've always known successful people lift up those around them. And we've always known about rising tides and climate change. Climate change is real, people. It's real. Yes, that's right. I'm using my success to platform climate change.

Yes, something my equal has not done even once. Interesting. To close, I present a paradox. The fact that you will vote for a winner in this debate makes it impossible for me to lose. If Stacey wins and is more successful, then you have all agreed with me. And... If you decide to vote for us equally,

double homicide. Vote wisely. Chris Wilson. Chris Wilson. Chris Wilson. Oh, he is trying to lose his way into winning. This is very interesting. Audience, by applause, who agreed with Chris that behind every successful partner, there's kind of a loser, Chris Wilson?

And who agreed with Stacey that all's fair and equal love and equal work? Stacey McGonigal. Woo! The response is not equal. The winner is Stacey McGonigal. Big hand for Stacey McGonigal and Chris Wilson, everybody. Well, that's all for this week. I'm Steve Patterson saying to all those of you

in perfectly equal romantic relationships, congratulations on telling yourselves that. I'll argue with you again soon, Canada. Good night. The Debaters is created by Richard Seid. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Callender, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson and Graham Clark. With continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis and Gary Jones.

Technical production by James Perella and Mark Strong. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphries, Emily Ferrier and David Pride. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts. And thanks to everyone at the Holy Heart Theatre in St. John's.