The Debaters - Are children smarter than their parents? Does nothing beat a talent show?

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

It’s a battle of the brains when we discuss whether kids are smarter than their parents, then, we’ve got the X-Factor with a debate on talent shows.Featuring: Ivan Decker, Syd Bosel, Sean Lecomber, and Sterling Scott.

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Donate at lovescarbro.cairbo. This is a CBC podcast. Hey, Canada, we're ready to shoot our mouths off from Vancouver, BC, the home of the Stanley Park 9 o'clock gun. It's the debaters! The debaters where comedians fight with facts and funny in this audience picks the winner. Now here's a man who's always gunning for laughs. Steve Patterson. Hey, thanks, Graeme Clark.

That was a really good one. Hello, Canada. Welcome back to the debaters. Oh, it's always nice to be back here in beautiful British Columbia. This province has seen its share of intellectuals, such as author Lawrence Peter, one of the creators of something called

The Peter Principle. The Peter Principle states that people in the world, workforce often get promoted until they're way past their level of competence, straight into incompetence. In Ontario, we call it the premier principle. Now it's time to meet two debaters who never fail to please the public. So, this comic always performs fully decked out. It's Vancouver's Ivan Decker.

Come on out, Ivan. There he is. taking his plate to the podium to my left. Hello. And this comic believes that we built this city on bedrock and roll. It's Comac BC's Sid Bozell. Sid Bozell. Hi, Sid.

Welcome. Debaters, your topic is one that asks the age-old question, are kids smarter than their parents? The proper way to do this debate would be to have one child debating the side of this topic on behalf of all children. It's just really difficult to explain to a kid what a radio show on the CBC is. But even though we don't have an actual child in this debate, don't worry, because given the average age of the CBC radio listenership,

I'm basically a toddler up here. My writers didn't want me to do that joke, but I said, I don't want to do your jokes. So, whereas they can acquire new knowledge and skills faster and are constantly learning and growing, be it resolved, children are smarter than their parents. Ivan, you're arguing for this, my friend.

You have two minutes. Starting now, Ivan Decker. Thank you, everyone. Hello, Sid. I do not envy my opponent's position. because she is going to try to fool all of you into thinking that I am smart. Like, to my opponent, and some people here,

I may appear to be a child, but according to my children and the government of Canada child benefit, I am a parent. I have a two-year-old and a four-month-old. I am so sleep-deprived and confused that the other day I forgot the word for salad. I called it leaf dinner.

Every day, my children get smarter and I get stupider. My two-year-old one year ago did not know any languages. Now he knows almost all of English. I have had duolingo on my phone for 11 years. And the only French I know is the beginning of the Air Canada Safety Briefing

in French until I notice that it's the French one and stop listening. I have forgotten every password I have ever made. They say you should not use the same password for everything while I do because it's the password to my email because everything I log into involves me clicking forgot password and then going to my email. And I know it's tough.

It's tough to convince people that their parents are smarter than them. I know somewhere there's a millennial listening to this who just got a call from their parent asking, what's a Bitcoin? The man on the computer said, I needed to pay my Windows Update security fee with it. Also, the chief magistrate of the government of Canada said my social insurance number needs a top-up

using Google Play gift cards. Scammers target parents because they know that they are naturally kind and cognitively overloaded. Sure, I'll send $400 to microcontractors. Why is Microsoft spelled with a why? I don't have time to think about that. Scambers don't target children

because children are cutting, sharp, and heartless. Thank you. Ivan Decker. What a line to end on. Now, here to show us how deconstructing Ivan's argument is mere child's play to an adult. to an adult like her. Let's hear from Sid Bozell.

Hello, audience of my people. My esteemed impressionable in need of my guidance, colleague Ivan. Saying that your children are smarter than you would be like saying you are smarter than me. Young Ivan, Young Ivan, you as a parent are way more tired than your children. You have to be smarter and more efficient because you do not have their endurance.

Ivan, given the opportunity your children will eat magnets. I have two children who my husband and I playfully refer to his plans, C and D. And we raised them to strive for mediocrity. One of my kids is a university graduate and I don't want to brag, but it is the Canadian university that is the farthest away from me.

It's just a coincidence. So I have firsthand experience, Simon, she graduated. My daughter graduated was a degree in gender and women's studies. The good news is that while she was away in Gender and Women's Studies University, she and her young friends invented feminism. So we have them to thank. Then she moved. I've lived home and I have a $54,000 travel mug.

Young Ivan, do you know what is fun about having a new feminist come home for this summer? Nothing. informed and articulate. I think my greatest contribution to the women's movement was teaching her to talk. Sure my daughter taught me how to use bits of coins and that Facebook thingy. But I taught her to talk. The Facebook thingy is becoming obsolete, Ivan, whereas I think talking is here to stay. Thank you. Yeah.

Sid Beaux-Ozell, ladies and gentlemen, in her first opening argument for us. All right, debaters. It's time now for the bare-knuckle round. We're debating whether kids are smarter than parents. So stand behind your intellect turns. And make an impression on your opponent, that smarts.

I'll bet you a hundred dullards that the writer of that pun is now in the witless protection program. More on that later. Their words, not mine. It's time to show us you're not dumb da-dum-dum-dum-dum now. Sid, are you telling me you've never been scammed? Well, yes, I have been scammed. I paid for that degree.

All right, all right. Boy, I really walked into that one. All right, I don't think Facebook's becoming obsolete. Where else am I going to buy a broken toaster oven behind the liquor store at 3 o'clock in the morning? There must be some. Benefit to having kids, though? Oh, Ivan.

Well, my son is a mechanic now, and he fixed the brakes on our Subaru, so it's paid off to have had him. So hang in there, Ivan. Okay, see, that's good news. So I've got, how old is your son? 34. Okay.

That's the bare knuckle round, everybody. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Time now for the firing line in my hand. I have a list of questions on children being smarter than their parents brought to you by Streep Smarts. Streep Sparts.

What Merrill Streep teaches her kids. What was the name of the popular TV game show where adult contestants tried to answer questions drawn from elementary school textbooks? Sid? Bienvenu. French immersion parents. Yes, you too can count over 11.

Not what I have here, but what a... That sounds like a page turner. I'm going to give you three points for that one. Ivan Decker. The white house. Press Briefing. Of course, it was a popular TV game show where adult contestants tried to answer questions

drawn from elementary school textbooks. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? We also would have accepted CPAC, CPAC, live footage. The Flynn effect notes that intelligence test scores tend to increase with each new generation, suggesting children are indeed smarter, than their parents.

Some theories why include improved diet, increased education, and what else? Ivan? Bike helmets. All right, buddy. That's two points. Way to go. Some theories why include improved diet,

increased education, and a generally more demanding environment. See? Finish this quote from author Kenneth G. Ortiz. If you're wondering why our children are so stupid nowadays, look no further than what? Sid. They're fathers.

Yeah. Oh, no, no notes. Kenny G. Ortiz said, if you're wondering why our children are so stupid nowadays, look no further than the American educational system. And that's weird, because I'm pretty sure Kenneth G.R.T. is American. Today's parent.com says you shouldn't tell your child they're smart. Why not?

Sid. Because they're not. You. Ivan, you got anything? Mom, pick me up. I'm scared. Today's parent.com says you shouldn't tell your child they're smart because it can make them more likely to cheat in order to live up to the expectations.

But I like Sid's answer better. That is the firing line, everybody. All right, we are rolling towards our final decision here in our Centennial Theater audience, whether parents or children are smarter, that's really what we're debating. Here to tell us why in the school of life, she gives parents top marks over their kids. Let's hear from Sid Bozell. Young, Ivan, you are old enough to know better. Seriously, Ivan, think about this.

Between you and your children, which of you can drive a car without scooching your feties? I'll give you an example of my son. My son said to me, just go into the cloud. And delete cookies. And put them into recycling.

It's in. file explorer on desktop in SharePoint, Mom. So I said to him, just go down to the Rumpus room and get the Manila envelope and put it on the roll top. It's on the ottoman under the doylee in front of the Chesterfield in the Sears catalog. I have moved from merely being smarter than my children to as a grandma, I'm considered a wise elder

and probably not just by me. Children are merely unfolding, Ivan. They're not smarter than us because they believe. believe what we tell them. Their artwork is amazing. I do find that I have a lot in common now with my eldest grandson now that he's four. We both prefer our shoes to have Velcro.

Neither of us know what happened to the remote. Most of our conversations with our friends about our bowel functions and our owies. But he's got those really cool light-up shoes. Do you know, the one Ivan, the light-up, I don't have those. I want those, but I have a car, so I win. Thank you. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that feels good. You might get elected to some position here by this audience. Now, here to sadly admit that it's his children who wear the smarty pants in his house. Let's hear from Ivan Decker. All right, I think I need to settle this with some hard data. Brad Brutter, James Holtzauer, Matamodio, Amy Schneider, Matea Roach. These are all incredibly smart people.

This is a list of Jeopardy Champions during their run. All of them, childless. The only parent in the top five Jeopardy Champions list is Ken Jennings, the goat, who had his son in 2002, And then, in 2004, his historic run came to an end. This is irrefutable proof that having a two-year-old

will make you stupider and ruin your life. Thank you. All right. You took it in a little different direction that I thought. All right. Audience, it is up to you to vote and try to make it seem close. By applause, who agreed with Ivan that the pain of having to admit that today's kids outsmart their parents really does smart? Ivan Decker.

There you go. That's nice. That's nice. And after hearing her passionate promotion of parents being more cerebral than children, how many of you sided with Sid Bozell? Sid Bozell! Listen to that crowd! in her first debate

she has won it in a landslide kids are not smarter than their parents to win her Sid Bozell! Way to go, Sid! Big hand for Sid and Ivan Decker everybody! Hey debaters, listeners, here's a smart idea for you. Hit the follow button on our podcast. This will get you early access to episodes which include lots of bonus material.

Now that's just using your noggin. This ascent isn't for everyone. You need grit to climb this high this often. You've got to be an underdog that always overdelivers. You've got to be 6,500 hospital staff, 1,000 doctors all doing so much with so little. You've got to be Scarborough. Defined by our uphill battle and always striving towards new heights. And you can help us keep climbing.

Donate at Lovescarbrough.com. Do you want to get back into reading, but you just can't figure out how? Then let us do it for you. I'm Craig. And I'm Andrew. And we're the co-hosts of Overdue, a podcast about the books you've been meaning to read, hosted on the HeadGum Podcast Network. We've read everything from Infinite Jest to Twilight,

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This comic has a Sterling reputation. It's the one and only Sterling Scott. Come on out, Sterling. There he is. How's it going, Steve? Always good, my friend. And you're one of the few people you can hear smiling. It's a special quality.

And this comic likes to drink outside of the box of wine. It's Edmonton's Sean LeCumber. Edmonton's Sean LeCumber. Looking fresh. Looking fresh. Debaters, we got a good one. Your topic is one that you can feel free to judge. Talent shows.

Are they the very very? best in entertainment? I have a hidden talent that I'll share with you all very shortly but first ladies and gentlemen one of our debaters here on this very stage was recently on Canada's Got Talent and very nearly took home the top prize the other debater wasn't so by applause how many people think that it was Sean LeCumber And how many people think it was Sterling Scott? Sterling Scott.

Interesting. Yep. Bullied already. Yeah. Last time I was judged by this many white people, I was in court. Okay. All right. Well.

He's a big jury. I am not going to say who it was. That's my hidden talent. Suspense. But before we find out who it is, it's time for a debate that puts talent shows in the spotlight. So, whereas it's an entertaining way to showcase a wide variety of skills, boost self-confidence, and engage an audience,

be it resolved that nothing beats a talent show. Sterling, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes, starting now, Sterling Scott. Now, my name is Sterling Scott, and I am the first Canadian comedian to be the $25,000 golden buzzer winner and the finalist in the largest talent show in the country. Canada's Got Talent. But I lost, so this is what I get. This is a CBC, baby!

See, talent is like a cold sore on your lip. Just walk with me. See, when it gets big, people really start to notice. But a talent show is like a doctor's office, because it puts you in a place where you can be seen by someone who can help you. And because of talent shows, and free basic health care, I have received that help.

You see, I have known my opponent, Sean, for over 15 years. To get a picture for you guys at home of what Sean looks like, he is a 45-year-old white man from Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta. When I hear that, I think, of course he's against talent shows. Sean is a stay-at-home dad in Alberta, his big, His talent is convincing other men, he's still a man. Now, talent shows are popular in Canada because it brings people together from all walks of life. You can be conservative, NDP, Block Quebec, or even liberal, and they can all be united.

The only time our country has ever been to united is when we had to vote no confidence. for Justin Trudeau. Like, that's the last time! So talent shows are essential to the growth and development of the arts by allowing people to be passionate and elevate their talents by being challenged by others in their field. That competition does not spoil talent shows

because you can be talented and never win. You don't believe me? Just ask Connor McDavid and the Edmonton Oilers. And that is why I believe in talent shows. Sterling Scott, everybody. Sterling Scott, answering the mystery that I opened up with. I tried. That was good, buddy.

Now, here to tell us why, to him, talent shows are nothing less than amateur hour. Let's hear from the very talented Sean LeCumber. I want every man in here to know that I do my own oil changes. I don't go to Jiffy Loob and spend $189.99. Hi, hi, everybody. I'm contestant number 99827, and I'm Sean LaComber from Edmonton, Canada.

What's my backstory? My family, they're all here today. They're all burn victims. Third degree. Just pretty bad. They got confused between the stop, drop and roll thing, and the bear thing. I'm also an adoption survivor.

Was not raised by my biological parents. Growing up, we didn't have. much. Our garage only had room for two cars. I have ADHD, self-diagnosed, of course, and tonight I'm here to sing the boy is mine by Ariana Grande. Sob story, 10 at a 10. Boom, hit the buzzer. Roll the confetti. It's time for Howie Mandel to be fake gobsmacked again. He just can't believe what he's seeing, guys. He just can't believe it. Wow. Modern talent shows are a cruel spectacle where a delusional unstable human

is told they're worthless by a panel of judges and sent home to their family. Then, as we became more sensitive to neurodiversity, it became less funny to laugh at those people, and the ratings plummeted. We only tuned in because we loved watching a jerk tell people who can't sing they can't sing. That was the end of it.

Really lost, really lost, I was hoping I had more words there to make people laugh at. But it really did lose steam there. You done? Yeah. All right. Sean McCumber, everybody. It's time now for the bare knuckle round. We're debating talent shows.

So give us more than the same old song and dance. If you're doing well, I'll let you talk until the Simon Cowell's come home. That's just how we do it here. Time to star search and destroy. So be sure to take things to the Susan Boiling Point starting now. Oh, yeah? You said talent shows there... What did you say?

Talent shows are essential to the growth and development of the arts. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Remember when people had hidden talents? Remember that? When did that stop happening? People just had a talent and they didn't show everybody all the time.

It just doesn't happen anymore, does it, Sterling? No, but I feel like your set is a hidden talent that maybe... We'll find the jokes later. I don't like what's happening right now. Gold sores are like talent. What does that even mean? Cold stores are like a lot of things.

Goldsores are horrible, aren't they? I mean, well, so's your set. I look at the crowd's reaction now. Turn it in. They're just like, this is a weird roast. It is. They're like, I bought tickets for a roast. Who is the guy getting roasted?

I think that's a good place to call it. That's the bare knuckle round, everybody. All right, debaters, let's keep this smooth train rolling. It's time now for the firing line in my hand. I have a list of questions on talent shows. Brought to you by the new talent show coming to Canadian television, America's Got Canada's Talent. Vancouver is home to a live talent show that's been running since 2008.

What's it called? Sean. Hey, my rant. I'm giving you three points for that. Three points. Sterling Scott. The NDP election. That's good. Timely.

The talent show that's been running since 2008 is talent time. The winner of America's Got Talent in 2024 was Janitor Richard Goodall. What was his talent? Sterling. Mopping up the competition. Oh, nice. Nice.

Yep. Yep. Sterling, two and a half points. Well done. Sean. Jingling keys to Bon Jovi songs. I will give you one. I will give you one and a half for that.

No, at 2024, America's Got Talent Winner, Richard Goodall. His talent was singing. We also would have accepted throwing tennis balls down off the school roof. And that is the firing line, everybody. It is almost that magical time where our theater audience here at the Centennial Theater votes. But first, here again, to happily K-pop your bubble about talent shows. Let's hear again from Sean LeCumber. Thank you.

Is there any group of people more easily amazed than talent show live audiences? They bought a ticket to a show that promised singing and dancing and still just can't seem to believe it when people start doing that. They leap from their seats and yell, oh my God, I didn't know ugly people could sing!

Talent shows on a lot. TV. It's like the most evil man in show business was tasked with finding a way to save the networks the most money. Okay, get this. You know how cheap the audition process is, right? Yeah. Okay, how about that's the show? Thank you. That's the end of it. John Lecomber, everybody. Now, tell us why when it comes to the vast pool of talent out there, He says talent shows aren't shallow. It's Sterling Scott. All right, here we go.

We refer to ourselves as the human race. Proving competition lies even in the way we describe ourselves. Talent shows are never going to go away, kind of like polio at an anti-vaccine convention. It's true. Talent shows allow us to meet voices we would never have seen otherwise. In fact, I made a lot of jokes about Sean tonight, but did you all know that Sean, many years ago,

was on the biggest talent show for comedians in the country. It was called the Homegrown Comedy Competition held at the prestigious Just for Last Festival. He went up against the entire country and won. And we wouldn't have had that moment. And so, Sean, on behalf of all the white community, we thank you for being one of the good ones. Thank you.

Sterling Scott, everybody. Sterling Scott versus Sean LeCumber. This is about talent shows this one. It's time to vote, audience. My applause. Who agreed that Sterling gave a pitch-perfect pitch touting talent shows? Sterling Scott.

Listen to that. A lot of love for Sterling. All right. And who agreed with Sean with regards to talent shows? Hidden talents should stay hidden, Sean LeCumber. Pretty close.

Pretty close. Close one. We've got to give this one to Sterling Scott. Let's keep the talent shows going. Big hand for Sterling Scott and Sean McCumber, everybody. Well, that's all for this week. Until next time, I'm Steve Patterson saying to everyone out there who supports our show. Thanks for being a talented listener. I'll argue with you again soon. Canada, good night. The Debaters is created by Richard Seid. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Callender, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson, and Graham Clark, with continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis, and Gary Jones.

Technical production by James Porella and Eric Pankrats. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphreys, Emily Ferrier, and David Pride. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts. And thanks to everyone at the Centennial Theater in North Vancouver. For more CBC podcasts, go to CBC.ca. slash podcasts.