The Debaters - Are jeans the best pants? And is food delivery easier than ever?

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

<p>We decide if wearing denim is a dream and whether ordering delivery is a breeze.</p><p><br></p><p>Featuring: Stacey McGunnigle, Myles Anderson, Graham Clark and Lachlan Patterson.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Fill out our listener survey </strong><a href="https://insightscanada.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bfIcbmcQYPwjUrk?Podcast=The%20Debaters&Prize=Yes" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>here</strong></a><strong>.</strong> We appreciate your input! </p>

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The debaters, where comedians fight with facts and funny in this audience, picks the winner. Now here's a man who jests at all the best fests, Steve Patterson! Yeah! Thanks brother! Graham Clark everybody. Oh hello there everyone. It is great to be back in the bosom of Winnipeg, a town that is a botanist's dream.

Yep. There's the Winnipeg botanist. Winnipeg is home to a large indoor botanical garden called The Leaf. Now you know what I'm talking about. For only a few nights each year, it's host to The Leaf After Dark. Adults-only nights. Steamy, exotic. There are charcuterie boards and wine. It's basically like date

night in the Garden of Eden. Don't get tempted to take off your clothes and go all Adam and Eve because that fig leaf could be poison ivy. Also, keep an eye out on your ribs, fellas. Now it's time to meet two debaters who are the apples of our eye. This comic is one of Canadian comedy's brightest lights. It's This Hour Has 22 Minutes star Stacey McGonigal. Hi Stacey. Welcome back. Stacey McGonigal. Hello.

Hey, huh? Hi. Isn't this nice? So nice. So loud. Welcome back, Stacey McGenagall. Hello. Hey, huh? Hi. Isn't this nice? So nice, so loud, so fun.

And this comic will travel many miles for a laugh. It's Victoria's Miles Anderson. Come on out, Miles. There he is, returning again for us. Welcome back, my friend. Nice to be here. Your topic is so unruly, we might need a wrangler. Jeans.

Are they the best pants? Yes! See? Some people already formed their opinion. Everyone here, I think, knows the term Canadian tuxedo. Denim on top, denim on the bottom. But few might know its origin. In 1951, famous crooner Bing Crosby wanted to rent a room at the Hotel Vancouver, but

was refused because he was wearing jeans. Levi's jeans heard about this and presented Bing with a custom denim tuxedo jacket. And bing bang boom, the Canadian tuxedo was born. True story. Fortunately for everyone, it wasn't Marilyn Monroe who was refused admission. Otherwise, we'd be wearing denim corsets, which are uncomfortable. It's not important how I know that. Time now for a debate that will have you saying, Oshkosh, Bogosh. So whereas they're long lasting, can be worn for a variety of occasions and come in countless styles and cuts.

Be it resolved that jeans are the best pants. Stacey, you're arguing for this please. You have two minutes starting now, Stacey McGonigal. Thank you. I love jeans. They are truly the perfect fashion item for 2025. Made for men, by men, controlling and restricting to women. Oh, I mean. How much more current and relevant could they get?

So fab, so fashion, so fascist. How much more current and relevant could they get? So fab, so fashion, so fascist. I love it! What more could you want from a pant? The woman's jean was created out of leftover floor scraps. How economical! Every time I put on my jeans and frantically feel around for any working pocket,

I'm reminded that I'm just saving the environment, ladies. Thank you, Levi Strauss, for making me a better woman. I love being a size 12 at H&M, a 14 at Banana Republic, and a 6 at Zara. Oh! The jean keeps me on my toes, and I love the distraction. Who wants to focus on the fact that women's rights

are being ripped from us faster than the crotch of my 501s? faster than the crotch of my 501s. In a world where men decide what I can or cannot do with my body, it's nice to know that the jeans make me feel like I have a choice. Mid-rise, straight leg, boot cut, wide cut, wide leg, low rise, 90s, wedgie, girlfriend jean, boyfriend jean, mommy jean, daddy jean mommy gene, daddy gene. Oh, the possibilities are endless.

When I feel all is lost, I can always count on genes to be there for me, always finding the time to give me the firmest, tightest, stiffest hug. My hips and waist have never been so held. Thank you. The gene makes you stand for something or sit for something, never both, and never at the same time.

Well, if you are willing to loosen the top button, the gene is a true patriot. Thank you. Well done. Stacey McGonigal on behalf of Blue Jeans, if she's showing them off with a little kick, kick out from behind the podium. Now to tell us why in the world of pants and trousers,

denim is in the shallow end of the jeans pool, as far as he's concerned. Let's hear from Miles Anderson. (*audience applauding*) Jeans are not the best pants. Their popularity is only a result of tireless corporate marketing campaigns. People only wear jeans because Big Denim

pays movie stars to wear jeans. I drank Coca-Cola for years because I saw polar bears on TV doing it. But it turns out those bears were paid. Those bears want water. Genes are not comfortable because they do not adapt to the body. The body must adapt to them. People with even modest flab will, after squeezing into jeans, resemble a muffin or an ice cream cone.

A thin person in jeans will, depending on the fit, either resemble a skeleton wearing flappy pants or a flappy skeleton wearing no pants at all. Laughter Genes had their era, but science has altered genes beyond recognition. Flying in the face of God and nature, Laughter genes have been spliced and edited to form new abominations

like jorts and jeggings. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Jeans are for people who pretend to be authentic. How many business leaders have worn jeans and a blazer as they announce layoffs? Laughter How many politicians have worn jeans on the campaign trail

as they pretended to enjoy Tim Horton's coffee? Laughter Applause You can even buy pre-ripped jeans to make it seem like you do manual labor. That would be like buying an iPhone with a pre-cracked screen to make it seem like you go out drinking with your friends. I'm a prince. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jeans are some of the worst pants for the modern era. A smartphone in the back pocket of your jeans is under more pounds per square inch of pressure

than the wreck of the Titanic. I've had the home button imprinted on my butt since 2011. Thank you. Miles Anderson, not a fan of the blue jeans. All right, it is time now for the bare-knuckle round. We're debating whether jeans are the best pants, so here's the skinny. Feel free to make off-the-cuff remarks. Force your opponent to taper off and fade away.

It's the audience that will decide. Which of you wins, and which of you leave eyes in shame? So time to daisy-duke it out now before you boot-cut and run! So people say that the jeans are super tough, but it's actually not that tough compared to things like Kevlar. Like, there's a reason why police wear Kevlar vests and not just, like, five denim jackets stacked on top of each other. Laughter

Do not listen to the human embodiment of khaki pants. Laughter He knows not what he says. Laughter I only wear khaki pants because it brings up my khaki skin. I just want to say that the jean has been with us through so much. And as a woman who's lived in rural you know, rural Ontario, the gene has taken families from weddings to court to funerals. You know, Stacey, it's a bad idea to make a product part of your identity.

Like, ask anyone who bought a Tesla. Right. It's really risky. Denim production is actually highly toxic, Right. It's really risky. Denim production is actually highly toxic, so the most friendly eco pants are actually hemp or burlap. I'll be working on those back in Victoria. You will never understand a woman's struggle in denim.

If a woman is wearing denim, give her money and let her rest. She is fighting a war you will never know. You'll never know! You know, I think the main reason I don't like jeans is they somehow make my butt look flat, and I have an incredibly sensuous behind. Oh. Well, get out from behind the podium, Miles. Give us a little look.

There it is. Show them. Yeah, there it is. Describe it, Steve. It's, um... We've got two apples that are trying their best. That's what we've got. And that's fun.

I love apple picking, so let me know. Okay. All right. That is the bear-knuckle round, everybody. I had everything you'd want in a radio taping. We went back and forth, we went off topic, we came back, there was dancing. It really paid for itself, this show. All right.

Time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on jeans brought to you by Jordache Dordache. Jordache Dordache, when you've eaten too much and need bigger pants delivered right away. According to artofmanliness.com, what's the difference between khakis and jeans? Stacy? A tax bracket.

Nice. That's an official point. Miles? First of all, thanks for visiting my website. And the answer is khakis are for the British Army and jeans are for the Canadian Army. That's pretty good. Two points. Khakis are lighter weight and generally more comfortable.

Also, they're, I don't know if you know this, they're various shades of brown. Laughter According to American Eagle, what feature makes a pair of jeans mom jeans? Tacey? They're often covered in spit up and garbage and it comes with a husband who goes, honey, have you seen my keys? It's a very hard gene. It's a hard working gene. Did my wife give you that answer? Yes. Mom jeans are high-waisted, tapered and ankle slimming. I've never felt that. Pfft. A great idea, Miles.

I will give you one for the effort there. Stacey? They were fully bare butt. Just full open cheek. Go Jets. 22 was a tough year. We were all crazy after COVID. Yeah, that's not the answer I have here, but it was a great try. Shagel jeans open to sell, designer jeans that had been in storage since 1991.

With seagulls nested inside them. Yeah. What's the tagline of the 2005 movie about four girlfriends who stay connected by passing around a pair of secondhand jeans? Stacey? A time Blake Lively wishes she could go back to. Yeah.

Good. One and a half points. Miles Anderson. Dude, where's my jeans? Good answer. Like that. Two and a half points. The tagline of the 2005 movie about four girlfriends who stay connected by passing around a pair of secondhand jeans, laugh, cry, share the pants. Is that the real thing or do we make that up?

That's the real thing. Literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Realsimple.com says one thing you shouldn't do to jeans is what? Miles. Sit down in them. I'll give a point for that. Good answer. Not what I have here. Stacey McGonigal?

I said fart in them. Denim's not the most breathable or forgivable fabric. You're stuck in your legs all day. Unfortunately. One of the biggest responses we've had all night for that. One thing you shouldn't do to jeans is wash them too often. That website was for sure started by a guy. That's 100%.

That is the firing line, everybody. Moving right along here. All right, it's almost time for our Jubilee Place Theater audience to vote. But first, here to tell us who wears the pants in this anti-denim debate, let's hear again from Miles Anderson. There are so many other pants that are bought Miles Anderson. The most youthful pants are cargo pants because you can carry all your Pokemon cards, Game

Boy games and granola bars to your friend's house after school without needing a backpack. The most comfortable pants are sweatpants because they are loose-fitting and easily adapt to the amount of ice cream a person consumes when they are depressed. But of course, the best pants are the ones that have sentimental value. And for me, those are the pants my grandma knits me every year for Christmas. Thank you. Thank you. Miles Anderson. Shout out to Grandma. God, you're like a human glass of milk.

Good, wholesome brand, you know? Now, here to tell us why it's in our jeans to wear jeans, let's hear again from Stacey McGonigal. Thank you. My denim lovers, I ask yourself this. Who should win this debate? This young man-child wearing khakis only a computer engineer could love? Or me, a 39-year-old woman who's wearing her tight standing jeans today, knowing full well she would be on full display in front of an audience with her nether regions

absolutely being devoured by the denim. Behold my denim nether regions, Winnipeg. I am not insecure nor embarrassed. A woman's body should be amplified, and the gene always makes sure it is. And if you have a problem with that, you're not an ally. I'm just saying, vote for me and vote for Gene. Jacey McGonigal stepping out from behind the podium, showing off the fit of her jeans.

All right. It is time to vote audience by applause who thought that our tiny dancer Stacey was their blue jean baby, Stacey McGonigal. A lot of love. A lot of love for A lot of love for Stacy. All right. And how many of you defended Miles' denim denigration, Miles Anderson? Very good. He's still selling it. It's too hard fought on either side, and this is not a national election, so I have the power to declare this a tie!

It is a tie! Inconclusive! Big hand for Stacey McGonigal and Miles Anderson, everybody! then hit the follow button on our podcast. This will get you early access to content and ensure you never miss an episode. And if you already follow us, thank you. At Desjardins Insurance, we know that when you own a cleaning company, things need to be tidy and organized at every step. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs.

You put your heart into your company, so we put our heart into making sure it's protected. Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at Desjardins.com slash business coverage. We're all looking for great places to visit in Canada. One of my favorites is the Stratford Festival. The theatre is truly of the highest caliber and there's so much selection. They have 11 large-scale shows on stage and trust me, whatever is on when you're there will be exceptional.

People always think Shakespeare when they think of Stratford, but it's so much more. Broadway musicals, family shows, classic comedy and drama. Whether it's Robert LaPage's Macbeth or Donna Fior's Annie, you will be blown away. It's the perfect Canadian getaway. To quote William Shatner, who got his start in Stratford, every Canadian should make the pilgrimage to Stratford. Start your next adventure at StratfordFestival.ca. Hey, Winnipeg, are you ready to meet your next pair of debaters?

Listen to that, Canada! Listen to that Canada! This comic's custom-made door knocker won a Nobel Prize. Let's welcome Vancouver's Graham Clark. I know him. Graham Clark, ladies and gentlemen. And this comic could be my brother from another mother. It's Vancouver's Lachlan Patterson. Come on out, Lachlan.

There he is. Lachlan Patterson back for the first time in a long time, taking his place behind the lectern to my right. All right, gents, your topic is one that is exactly what you ordered. Food delivery! Has it ever been easier? The head office of the popular app Skip, formerly Skip the Dishes, is right here in Winnipeg,

which explains why it takes so long whenever I order to my house in Toronto. You know, there weren't food delivery apps when I was growing up, but I did develop an ingenious way of getting fast food delivered free right to my mouth. I would go to McDonald's with my friends, I would order nothing, I would wait for them to start eating, and then I would say, hey look, it's Ronald McDonald! And then steal their hamburgers. I called myself the hamburger burglar, which I guess made the McDonald's lawyers grimace

because they sent me a McSeason desist. Time now for a debate sure to deliver the laughs. So whereas they provide us with access to a multitude of establishments, improved accuracy and efficiency, and a seamless ordering experience, be it resolved that food delivery has never been easier. Graham, you're arguing for this please. You have two minutes. Starting now, Graham Clark. Thank you. Thank you.

I know to look at me, you think, I've had a lot of STDs, right? Pfft. Pfft. Skip the dishes, right? Ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Thank you. Applause Thank you.

We have DoorDash, UberEats, GrubHub, and LesserNoOne, BeepBeep, Vroom Vroom, Yum Yum. They do everything but chew up the food and give it to you bird style. Let us not forget snacks. Some of you are looking at me and thinking, he never forgets snacks. Now say you're as high as Snoop Dogg on an airplane, right? They can bring you snacks, because otherwise you'd be in the convenience store marveling at how your total came to $7.11 and you're in a 7-Eleven, right? Laughter

Applause Watching online delivery is an absolute thrill, right? Laughter Jasmine has put your order in. Yay! Go, Jasmine, go! Also, this new world of delivery gives jobs to many people across this great country of ours, right? And I'm on a comedy show on CBC,

so I'm between deliveries right now. Ha-ha-ha! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Oh! There's an order right now. Ha-ha-ha! Let me just check my phone here. Oh! There's an order right now. Laughter

Laughter Let me just check my phone here. Okay. Steve P. at the Jubilee Place Theater wants one slurpee. Yeah. Strips with extra honey dill sauce, right?

Applause A double burger from VijJ's Drive-In. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! So I gotta go, so let's do this debate really quickly so I can get out of here. Thank you very much, Steve.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Graham Clark! Yeah! Way to go, Graham. Now, here to deliver us from the evil of meal deliveries, please welcome my brother from a much more attractive mother,

Lachlan Patterson. Thank you. Thank you, Steve. Food deliveries have never been easier. My foot. Let's take the first and most famous of food deliveries, pizza. I remember a time when you used to just call a guy

and you'd tell him what you want and he'd make a pizza and he'd bring it to you and you'd pay him and you'd eat it. And that was it. That was a good old day. Now, before you can even eat the pizza, you got to build your pizza profile, right? You know, you got to come up with a pizza password, right? Better make it a strong one.

Don't want anyone hacking into your pizza account. Accessing your pizza portal and switching all your toppings. Shows up at your door, you open the box. Cabbage and beet? Hang on a second. Who the heck would order a cabbage-and-beet pizza? Ah, the Russians hacked into my account. Oh. So... This is...

Oh. Oh. Oh. I wish I used a stronger password... for my pizza account. You ever forget your password and you enter it wrong too many times and the account goes, why don't you take a few days off the internet? Let me in, I'm starving. That is it. Steve, thank you very much. I'm finished.

Lachlan Patterson, well said. Succinct. We got a lot of debate to go here. Alright, debaters, it's time now for the Bare Knuckle Round. We're debating whether food delivery has never been easier. So let's hope your logic, Uber Eats Away, at your opponent's argument and Door Dashes their hopes of winning. No physical stuff, please. Give us all your jokes with contactless delivery. Don't skip dishing it out. And doorstep it up. Starting now. You mentioned 7-Eleven. If you're a 7-Eleven for hours, maybe food delivery isn't your

biggest problem. And I agree with you, the world of food delivery has gotten jobs for people but keep in mind, before food delivery, those people were unhireable. I can't. Do you think I would actually trust Jasmine to pick up food for my family? Why not? Does she even know how to pick an avocado, or am I going to have to continue raising it for another two weeks? Does she know to flip the strawberry package upside down and look at the strawberries on the bottom? That's the truth. Right there.

Those are the display ones. Let's back off Jasmine a little bit, all right? She's good people, Jasmine. Now, is there a kid here tonight, by any chance? Yeah? So you may not know that when you had to phone a pizza place, you had to use a thing called the phone book. It was a book with all the numbers in it, you see.

And that, you found a pizza place, that was the pizza place you went to, and that's all you needed. That's all you could do, was just go to the one pizza place. It was a phone book and then a jingle. Those were the two things. Like, my childhood was Pizza 73, 2737373, Pizza 73, right? Flockman?

Oh, and I'm from Vancouver. We had Pizza 222, if you guys don't remember. Uh, called 222. Two-two-2-2. That's for them. I feel like we've maybe lost the focus. Food deliveries is what we're talking about. Now, I got to tell you that I am a Pizza Hut Pizza Rewards member.

And just recently, they sent me a message that said, you didn't think we'd forget your birthday, did you? I was blown away. Graham, they know your birthday. Aren't you concerned they're tracking you? No, I want that. I think that's probably a good place to stop it. That's a bare knuckle round, everybody. It is time now for the firing line.

In my hand, I have a list of questions on food delivery brought to you by Domino's Pizza-funded maternity clinics. Domino's Pizza Maternity Clinics. We deliver your baby in under 30 minutes or it's free. According to the 2024 Uber Eats Cravings Report, what is the most popular delivery special request? Lachlan Patterson. Take some for yourself.

Ha! Incorrect. You guys don't like that? Incorrect, but I like the thinking on that. Graham Clark. Make love to me. Oh my god. You guys are kind of scary. The most popular delivery special request according to Uber Eats cravings report, hold the onions. That's it.

Do that before you make love to me. Nice. Skip says in Canada in 2024, its most requested grocery orders were chips, pop, milk, and what was number four? Graham. A pocketful of bulk cashews. Incorrect, but a great name for a Stompin' Tom song. It's worth a shot. It was the number four thing on Skip the Dishes in 2024 was the mystery bag, which cost $9.99 and contains $25 worth of mystery food.

What is mystery food? We don't know. It's a mystery. DoorDash is now allowing American customers to do what? Lachlan? Shoot at the driver. Graham? Steve, could you please repeat the question? Sure. DoorDash is now allowing American customers to do what?

Graham? Order a fifty-first steak and potatoes. Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah! Pretty good. Pretty good. Oh! Boo! Boo, Graham! I agree with you guys.

DoorDash is now allowing American customers to eat now, pay later. Pay in installments. Oh my god. Oh, that place in our basement is quirky. That is the firing line, everybody. Yeah. We're scooting right along here, and it's almost time for our magical jubilee place theater audience here in Winnipeg to vote.

But first, here to take out his opponent's pro-food delivery argument one more time, let's hear again from Lachlan Patterson. Thank you, Steve. We're going back here, but I remember pizza used to be spontaneous and impulsive, you know, like a late night lover. It would show up at your door all hot and bubbly. Right?

And the next morning, you'd have a cold shower and forget about it. But online pizza doesn't want to forget. Online pizza had a great time, and it wants to build a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

As soon as you wake up, it starts texting you offers, inviting you to all sorts of pizza events, asking you why you aren't following it on Instagram... when you're gonna have some more pizza... then when you try to unsubscribe, it asks you why. Why?! Look, it was a one-night pizza, all right? We had some good times, but it's over now, all right? Now, you got to get out of here.

I got a Thai chicken salad coming over. Okay. I'm done. Goodbye. Lockwood Patterson, everybody. Thank you. Yeah, strong argument. That was like a Coronation Street, but real.

Now here to tell us why he thinks of a couch potato as a potato delivered to his couch. Let's hear again from Graham Clark. He's talking about the good old days, and I think we need modern technology when it comes to delivering food. Now, I can tell you this is a very true story. I'm not making up anything about it. I was in Tofino, B.C., doing a show, and after I was hungry, so I called the local pizza place and ordered a vegetarian pizza. Yes, I'm vegetarian.

I know some of you are looking at me and saying, I don't think you're doing it right, man. Rude. Now, when it showed up, there couldn't be possibly any more meat on it. It looked like somebody decimated a zoo. My wife called the pizza place and told them about the mix-up. We waited another hour. It hadn't come.

When my wife called them, she could hear them in the background say, It's her again! Then the employee came on the phone and said, and I quote, can we deliver a pizza to you tomorrow? I rest my case. Graham Clark, making it personal. Making it personal. Let's see making it personal. Making it personal. Let's see if it worked.

Audience, it is up to you. It is time to vote. By applause. Who thought that Graham basically delivered the goods on food delivery? Graham Clark! That's nice. That's some nice affection for Graham. And how many of you thought that Lachlan's argument against food delivery was the most delicious, Lachlan Patterson?

Yes, it's close. But I'll have to give this one to Lachlan Patterson, my brother from another mother. Big hand for Lachlan Patterson and Graham Clark everybody. Well that's all for this week. I'm Steve Patterson saying whether you are listening from wherever it is, thanks for allowing us to deliver laughs to your face. I'll argue with you again soon Canada. Good night. The Debaters is created by Richard Side. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Callender, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson, and Graham Clark,

with continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis, and Gary Jones. Technical production by James Perella, Mae McKillop, and Lloyd Peterson. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphrey's David Pryde and Emily Ferrier. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts.

And thanks to everyone at the Jubilee Place Theatre and the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. For more CBC podcasts, go to cbc.ca slash podcasts.