The Debaters - Does dipping sauce complete a meal? Do boycotts work?

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

This week, we’ve got a saucy question: Is no meal complete without dipping sauce? Matt Falk’s pro-dip argument is a slam dunk, but Charles Haycock claims these sauces just don’t cut the mustard. Then, we’re taking on boycotts. Martha Chaves believes in the power of a boycott, but Abdul Aziz champions other ways to make change.Featuring: Matt Falk, Charles Haycock, Martha Chaves, and Abdul Aziz.

Let's see if Toronto advisors know their group insurance providers. Oh, excuse me. Who has extensive expertise in both traditional group benefits and special risk solutions? Um, Beneva. That's right! Who offers adaptable plans that cater to businesses big or small? Beneva. Correct!

Who gives you access to the latest health trends and... I know it. Beniva. Looks like people are starting to know Beneva pretty well. I knew that too. You're stronger with the right partner, Beneva. This is a CBC podcast. Hey Canada, we're going to make you laugh historically from Winnipeg, the home of historical Point Douglas Neighborhood.

It's the debater! The debaters where comedians fight with facts and funny in this audience picks the winner. Now here's a man who's ready to tell his story, Steve. Hello, Canada. The debaters, and it is so great to be back here in Winnipeg. A city celebrating the fifth annual ice fishing festival this year. I'll be honest with you, Winnipeg. I don't really understand ice fishing.

I've only gone once. The time I tried it, the fish I caught said, thanks, man. I was freezing my guts off down there. So I brought him into the shack to warm up by the fire. Then I accidentally squirted a little lemon on them. Delicious. Anyway, time to meet two debaters,

who we think are a real catch. When boasting about the lowest-turbish, about the lowest chess piece on the board, this comic tends to pontificate. It's Winnipeg's own Matt Falk! Matt Falk! Come on out, there he is! Hi, Steve!

Hi, buddy. How are you? Welcome back. Thank you for having me. Hi, everyone. And when asked about who birthed him, this comic continues to stay mum on the subject. It's Alberta's Charles Haycock.

There he is. Charles, purposely striding across the subject. striding across the stage to my right. Hello, Steve. Hello. Hi, buddy. Welcome back. Thank you.

Debaters, your topic is one that might be considered a hot one. Dipping sauces. There's more. Dipping sauces is any meal complete without one. Winnipeg, I don't have to tell you this, but you are famous for your honey dill sauce. Dill sauce. Created right here in the 1970s in time.

entirely by accident, at Mitzie's chicken finger restaurant. Yeah. The owner tasted a dip at another restaurant, tried to replicate it, got it wrong, and honey dill sauce was bored. It shouldn't be a surprise that a Canadian put those two things together. After all, we're also the country that said, you know what would make this vodka better?

Clam juice. That one never ceasers to make me laugh. All right. I gotta get him started early. Time now for a debate that's sure to be extra saucy. So, whereas they allow us to tailor our food to our own preferences, add flavor and moisture, and can be paired with almost anything,

be it resolved, no meal is complete without dipping sauce. Matt, you're arguing for this, please. You have two minutes, starting now, Matt Funk. A world without dipping sauce is a world where toddlers, where toddlers starve. Babies go from milk to ketchup. It's the gateway food. And who can blame them?

You're telling me you want to eat a dry nugget? And even if you do, I got a news flash for you. What is a nugget? Chicken dipped in flour, dipped in egg, dipped in breadcrumbs, then dipped in oil. It's dip all the way down, baby.

Nuggets, fries, breadsticks, tortilla chips, and countless other foods were designed solely as vessels for the dip. If ranch didn't exist, there would be tens of thousands of broccoli farmers out of a job.

In fact, if you put a tray of veggies out with no dip or dressing, you will be murdered by, a group of your peers. Just like Julius, because he didn't bring Caesar. Times are tough. Money is tight.

Dipping sauce is the poor man's fastest way to travel the globe. Can't afford to go to Greece? Tziki. Mexico out of your price range? Pico de Gaio. Has the poor economy and global instability dashed your lifelong dreams

of visiting Egypt and gazing upon the great pyramids of Giza? Hummus. Around the world and 40 dips. Dipping has been with us since the beginning, and it'll be with us until they dip our cold, lifeless bodies into the ground. Thank you. Matt Fuff, ladies and gentlemen.

Matt Falk, I didn't know there would be this much to talk about with this topic. Yeah. Now, here with a sweet and sweet and... with a sweet and sour argument against dipping sauces. Let's hear from the suave Charles Haycock. I do think that dipping sauce is magical. How it can turn something inedible into something barely edible.

How it strives for mediocrity. People dip with no honor. They buy pesto, pizza, and dunker in ranch. I guess Italy and America is the same thing to you. Try going to Naples and plunk a thousand-year-old recipe into craft mayonnaise. They would bring back the guillotine. Do you know how Pearl Harbor happened? An American tourist dipped sushi and ketchup.

Dipping ain't all good, like when they dip into your pension? Or maybe when dip tobacco gives you cancer? A dip in the stock market? No one wants to be a dipstick. And it never stays in his vessel. Are you wearing clothes? Well, now your clothes are wearing dip. It's on his way to the landfill to support climate change in fast fashion.

Congrats, you're killing polar bears and funding child labor. And don't worry, it gets worse. Today, you can buy cheese dip. Guys, what was wrong with cheese? Who is eating cheese like it's not liquidy enough? How can we make this oozy and goopy at room temp? Melted cheese with stringy, let you know it's hot and ready. To quote my 12-year-old nephew,

"'Glaise, don't get lost in the sauce.'" Thank you everybody. Yeah, Charles Haycock. Right, buddy. I did not think Pearl Harbor would make an opinion experience in this one. It's time now for the bare knuckle round, and since we're debating dipping sauces,

okay, so you two have the plumb job of not artichoking in front of this audience. Ranch off in different directions. Leave your opponent saying, holy guacamole. I know. I know. Hummus more of these puns can you take. It's time to get this crowd to Chimmy cheer you on

until they soy themselves, starting now. I just want to say this. For me, it's also a medical thing, okay? I have ADHD, so I need a new dip every 35 seconds just for the dopamine hits. Well, actually, I have PTSD from people like you, dipping your fingers so deep you fully submerged them. There should be reparations for seeing a grown adult

suck their thumb and try to shake my hand after. Listen, fine. One time, one time. Listen, sorry, I don't want a raw dog my mozzarella sticks dry like a sociopath. Listen, so when you have fun dip, Charles, do you not use the dip? You don't like fun, is that it?

You just eating the stick dry? Is that what you're doing? All right, listen, the stick without the dip just tastes like a gas sex-flavored tongue depressor. The trick is not. to eFund it because you're not four years old, you know? Oh, okay. All right.

Food doesn't have to entertain you. For example, dry broccoli is the real broccoli, by the way. When you dip it, you get rid of all the health benefits. Like, sure, let's turn this vegetable into 400 calories. Yeah, I don't see the problem. That's kind of the point. Matt, ranch is the leading cause of the obesity. crisis.

Why, no, why are you looking at me when you say that so? No. No. No. Are you kidding me right now? I want you to be healthy and live longer, okay? You want me to be living in? I would gladly give up a thousand years for one bottle of thousand island dressing.

Okay, all right, that's pretty good. That's the bare knuckle round. I did not expect this to get this heated. Matt is toweling himself. There's literally dip dripping off of him right now, Charles. It is time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on dipping sauce, brought to you by the lowest calorie dip on the market,

skinny dipping sauce. According to bonappetit.com, it's okay to double-dip your carrot stick in the communal dip if you do what? Charles. Live in a polyamorous cult. Matt, you're allowed to double dip if you're the one who gets Trump,

out of the White House. Oh, nice. Nice. That's your reward. Wow. Pretty broad range of answers on one question there. According to bonapeteet.com,

you're allowed to double dip your carrot stick in the communal dip if you switch to the other end of the carrot stick. Yeah. According to the Winnipeg Free Press, President's Choice once introduced its own honeydil sauce,

but discontinued it after 10 months. Why? Matt. I never went on sale, so the Minnanites never bought it. That's pretty good. Full point. Full point for that. Unfortunately, they had to discontinue honey dillsaws

because there were poor sales everywhere except Manitoba. Only ones who liked it. What is the name of celebrity chef Guy Fieri's signature dip? Charles. Insulin. Oh, perfect. Perfect. The name of Guy Fieri's signature dip is a donkey sauce,

which is a terrible name for a dip. I would rather it be the frosted tipped goatee dip. Sauce Motto is the name of a dipping sauce holder that attaches to your car's air vents to allow you to dip your food while you drive. Their promise is you'll never what. Matt. Want for anything else as long as you live. I'm not correct, Matt, but I know you're going to get one after this.

Charles. Their promise is that you will never get married or be successful. Pretty good. Two and a half points. The actual answer, you will never have a dry fry or a sauceless nugget again. Oh, that's beautiful. Pretty gross. That's the firing line.

everybody. This is a close one. This has been a well-fought debate already and it's almost time for our very jubilant jubilee place theater audience to vote. But first, here again to tell us why for him dipping sauces just don't cut the mustard, honey. Let's hear again from Charles Haycock. Ladies and gentlemen, how have we dipped so low? To divorce sauce from the food. No, No one likes being a side piece. No one likes getting sidelined. You know what's never good? Side effects.

We are going too far. Couples are bringing chocolate-dipped strawberries to spice up the bedroom. Maybe if you'd put down the bottle and apologize sometimes, you won't need melted Cadbury to do CPR on your crumbling marriage. That's three days of laundry. And those stains do not look like chocolate

when the neighbor sees them. Listen, if dip is so great, skip the food entirely. Guzzle that bottle of Chipotle like it's tequila, you psychopaths. Bland food with desperate dips is why they say white people have no culture. Let's do better, thank you. Wow, Charles Haycock.

A real visual journey, thanks Charles. Now here to suggest that dipping sauces are so universally enjoyed, even the heaven themselves have the big dipper. True story, it's Matt Falk! Thank you. You know, maybe I'm wrong. I suppose you could just sprinkle the sauce on top, like some sort of try to be trendy food truck run by a neo-hip-harmistor, heavy-handed chef with a squeeze bottle. but we all know that the longer a sauce sits on the food, the greater chance that food will become soggy. In fact, the exponential nature of sauce absorption means that you have seven, maybe 10 minutes tops

until your meal is considerably compromised in both texture and durability. Now you've got to wolf that thing down in your car in 30-second intervals at every red light. Heaven forbid you wait until you get home. That sauce will be dripping through that takeout box like some primordial space ooze from a Ridley Scott movie. No! That is good and right in this world. Thank you.

Woohoo. Matt, curious about this one. Audience, it is up to you to decide. By applause, who agreed with Matt that Dipping sauce is awesome sauce. Matt Falk. A lot of love for Matt. Okay.

And how many of you agreed with Charles? Anyone dependent on dipping sauce must be Holland dazed and confused? Charles Haycock. It is a very, very close debate, and I could almost give it to both of you. But I think one of you needs it that little bit more. And the winner is Matt Falk, big head. Fuck everybody! listeners, well, there's no debating it. We'd love it if you could hit the follow button on our

podcast. That way, you won't miss an episode. And if you already follow us, thank you. Let's see if Toronto advisors know their group insurance providers. Oh, excuse me, who has extensive expertise in both traditional group benefits and special risk solutions? Beneva. That's right. Who offers adaptable plans that cater to businesses big or small? Beniva. Correct. Who gives you access to the latest health trends in... I know it. Beniva.

Looks like people are starting to know Beneva pretty well. I knew that too. You're stronger with the right partner, Beneva. At Desjardin Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs. You put your heart into your company,

So we put our heart into making sure it's protected. Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at dejerdin.com slash business coverage. Hey, Winnipeg, are you ready to meet your next pair of debaters? Crowd Canada. This comic doesn't put much stock into making her own soup. It's Toronto's Marta Chavez. Coming out.

And this comic thinks that the people know. gosing around about his collection of antique crowbars, need to stop prying. It's Vancouver's Abdul Aziz. This is going to be good. Abdul crossing the stage to my right. Hello, Steve. Hello, my friend.

Nice to have you back. Thank you for having me back. Your topic is one with abstain power. Boycotts. Do they work? The term boycott came from a real man named Charles Boycott. True story.

In 1880s, Ireland, Charles Boycott was such a nasty landlord that when he tried to evict his tenants, the locals refused to work with him. The backlash was so effective that his surname became used for the term boycott. True story.

Which goes to show that if you're terrible enough at your job, your name becomes a verb. Like if you're at a job, party and you lose your seat to someone else, you've just been pollevd. That's how it works. Now for a debate that will put you to the protest. So, whereas there are a peaceful way to draw attention to social issues, challenge higher powers,

and bring about impactful change, be it resolved that boycotts work. Marta, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes. Starting now, Marta Chavez. My opponent will say that boycotts are just like trying to to give a bath to your cat and exercising futility. But boycotts work. They are the weapon of the powerless to collectively remind the powerful, we can hurt you.

When Comquat Calicula put the 25% tariffs on Canada, boycotting goods from the United States became our favorite pastime. Hey, a country that boycotts together stays together. We march to the stores, not to write it, to read, labels. Like they were poetry. Does this OJ say made in the USA? That's a no way, Jose. We didn't attack the US with missiles.

We strategize our drinking. No more spending on your bourbon, Uncle Sam. We will drink nothing but moose, jaw, box wine. And we also boycott vacations in the USA. We were like, take a hike, Mickey Mouse. We are taking the family to the West Edmonton Mall. We save our money and soul and keep our dignity. and at the same time we support tourism in our gorgeous country.

The US tourist industry is so sad that they are even missing the French-Canadian tourists in their speed. And whenever you feel insignificant, remember, if a single mosquito can ruin an entire room with nothing but a tiny bus, imagine a swarm of mosquitoes. That's not just annoying. That's a full-on eat the rich, all-inclusive buffet.

Boycott work. Cheers to that with Canadian rye. Thank you. Yeah. Marta Chavez! She says that boycotts work. Now, here to suggest that we can stop boycotts. stop boycotts with a better alternative.

Let's hear from Abdul Aziz. Trying to fix the economy with a boycott is like trying to put out a forest fire with a boycott. Boycotts are predicated on the assumption of consumer power. An assumption is suspect as Justin Trudeau's historical choices in Halloween attire. Especially given that 10 Canadian families collectively worth two hundred

hundred billion dollars, control everything you eat, watch, drive, drink, read, wear, hear, and lick. I speak of the commodity barons who run our lives. The Rogerses, the Westons, the Thompsons, the Irvings, and the McCain's Deep and Deliciouses. I call them out by name not because I am brave, but because I know rich people don't listen to public radio. For if they did, I would surely be dead already. Try to boycott their economic fiefdoms, and you'll be hungry, homeless, naked, and worst of all, unable to access TikTok.

And what would become of them? Nothing because of compound interests. You know that 14th sense of interest? the bank gives you every month? For our liege lords, that's $24 million daily, equivalent to 300 years of wages for the average Canadian, and 3,000 years for the average comedian. They make more in one day of doing nothing

than your entire bloodline has earned in all of recorded history. You cannot impact them with a boycott, no matter how much toilet paper you refuse to buy. Even if, like me, your bathroom situation is medically concerning. If we want change, we must tax the rich. And that's not something you can do in the jaundiced hell that is no frills. You have to fight for it at the polling booth. So, Mark Carney, I challenge you to a challenge you to a

a bare-knuckle boxing match at the next federal election. If I win, we tax these vampires who have been sucking us dry because I, Mr. Prime Minister, will be sucked no longer. Thank you, Steve.

Abdul Aziz, everybody. Abdulaziz. Strong words? Let's see where it goes from here. It's time now for the bare-knuckle round. We're debating boycotts. So, restrictly speaking, let's make a black list of all your best jokes

and get the audience laughing till they've impede their pants. Remember, since time flies when you're having shun, it's time to get ready. Set embargo now. Marta, you talked about it. about the alcohol boycott against the US. We've come together as a country,

we've boycotted US alcohol, and what is the impact of that? The US economy is stronger than it's ever been. The stock market is at all time highs. The American president has made $4 billion over the last year. Yeah, but that has nothing to do with Canada. Because even if they are getting rich,

we still have our dignity. We didn't let the gringos make us drink their booze. Look, I don't really drink, but I can tell you from firsthand experience, there's not much dignity in getting to the bottom of a bottle of Crown Royal. Well, I don't drink at all either because I'm an alcoholic. And not anonymous anymore,

but how can you say that Mark Carney, the bunker, is going to come and have a match with you, like banker protect. Rich people protect rich people. The powerful protect each other. So don't think that any tax for the rich is coming anytime soon. Okay, but what I will say is if we cannot get a wealth tax, we, Canada, should implement the people's tax.

I call on every listener to go into your closest loblas and steal as much as your cargo shorts can hold. All right, I think we've got it. That's the bare knuckle round, everybody. That's the bare knuckle round. Just so we're very clear, I'm not saying go steal stuff from La Blas, nor is the show. That was Abdul.

It is time now for the firing line in my hands. I have a list of questions about boycotts brought to you by the portable bed that a young man sleeps in. A boycott. In early 2026, what did a group of Las Vegas casinos do to try to win back Canadians boycotting American travel? Abdul? They put a Tim Horton's buffet in every casino.

All you can eat timbits? Farmers wraps and double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double. Incorrect. Marta Chavez? They accepted Elvis impersonators from Quebec to come. You can say, Just we shook up, ah. I'll give you two points for the act out. That was good.

What they did was they accepted Canadian dollars at par with the US dollar, and it still didn't help that. much. Yes. The Guardian's tips for a successful boycott include pick the right target, be focused, and what else? Abdul.

Boycott the register but not the product. Apply the people's tax, Canada. I thought we moved on from that. No, it's just more evidence compiling, really? The Guardian's tips for a successful boycott. Pick the right target, be focused, and be patient. And under no circumstances should you boycott the Guardian. According to studies cited on Ugov.com, some of the reasons consumers boycott a company

are because it suddenly raises prices, it engages in unethical practices, or what else? Marta? It doesn't write Merry Christmas in the Cup and they are worshipping Satan. Pretty specific. Incorrect, though. Abdul? I refuse to answer this question because Ugov.com is Illuminati propaganda.

Okay. Well, some of the reasons consumers boycott a company are it suddenly raises prices, it engages in unethical practices, or its products pose a health risk. Yeah. Or its cars are associated with a raving lunatic. Finish this slogan from a 1984 campaign to boycott fur.

It takes 40 dumb animals to make a fur coat. But what? Abdul. And 101 if you're using Dalmatian puppies. That's good. That's good. Three points. A little crewella, but all allowed.

Marta? But only one to declare war on Iran. Yeah, true story. Pretty close. It takes 40 dumb animals to make a fur coat, but only one to wear it, is the actual answer. So one point, but to Chavez. That is the firing line, everybody. We are cruising towards the conclusion here in front of our Jubilee Place, Theatre, and beautiful Manitoba.

But first, here to work the crowd on why boycotts don't work. Let's hear again from Abdulaziz. The state of the economy has no doubt made us all tre miserables. So I will leave you with something that will make you less miserables. Hit it, James. Hear the people sing, singing a song of rising rent. It is the music of a people whose entire paycheck spent. As the landlord buys his fifth in.

investment property There's a tiny apartment waiting for you and me If you join in a boycott you will suffer ineffectually For wealth is not displayed in products, it's in property So join in the fight to tax the ultra wealthy Do you hear the people sing Singing a song of tax reform It is the music of a people who cannot afford their homes.

It's the billionaire accrues dollars that should be earned by you. This is a life about to end when they pay their dues. Everybody, I did not know he had that in them. I like songs like that. Abdulaziz, one more time, everybody. Now, here to insist that when it comes to understanding the benefits of boy-coctur, people should have boycott on by now. Let's hear from Marta Chavez.

Boycotts have changed the world when artists sung, I gotta say, I, I, I, I ain't gonna play some city. It helped to end apartheid in South Africa because it's hard to enforce racist policies when your economy is limping like it's stepped on a Lego. In 1955 and 1956, Montgomery, Alabama, the black community boycotted the buses and helped put an end to segregation.

In Lysistrata, the ancient Greek play, the women decided to boycott making love, and the war stopped. They ended a war with nothing but cold shoulders and locked bedroom doors. American women, you know what to do. When we unite against the evil of capitalism, we win. El Pueblo Unido,

Hamas ser have been seen. The people united will never be defeated. The people united will never... Thank you. Martha Chavez. It is time to vote everybody. By applause, who was buoyed by Martha's pro-be. boycott brouhaha Marta Chavez.

Okay? A lot of support here for Marta. Okay. And how many of you agree with Aziz and reject the subject of boycotts? Abdul Aziz. Okay. The audience has spoken. It's a great debate on each side, but we think Abdulaziz is the winner of this one.

The boycotts aren't as effective as they should be. Big hand for Abdul Aziz and Marta Chavez, everybody. Well, that's all for this week. I'm Steve Patterson saying. Thanks for not boycotting this show for these last 20 years. Vive la Comedy, Camilla. I'll argue with you again soon, Canada. Good night.

The debaters is created by Richard Syde. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Callender, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson, and Graham Clark. With continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis, and Gary Jones. Technical production by James Porella and May McKillop. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphreys,

David Pride, and Emily Fair. executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts. And thanks to everyone at the Jubilee Place Theatre and the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. For more CBC podcasts, go to cBC.ca slash podcasts.