The Debaters - Does table service beat a buffet? Is Toronto a great place to live?

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

In this week’s all-you-can-laugh episode, we’re asking if table service is better than a buffet. Simon Rakoff serves up his best jokes in support of table service but Wassim El-Mounzer is ready to make us believe in buffets. Then, does Toronto offer the best quality of life? Juno award-winner Adam Christie says yes, his city CN Towers above the rest, but Clare Belford thinks the “T-Dot” has lost the plot.Featuring: Simon Rakoff, Wassim El-Mounzer, Adam Christie, and Clare Belford.

The University of British Columbia is optimistic about the future because it's helping to shape it. It all starts with UBC students and faculty who understand that challenges also bring opportunities to do better, and that's exactly what they're working towards. By partnering with communities, businesses, and the public sector, UBC is tackling the biggest issues and making a real difference in B.C. and across Canada, like using natural materials to filter microplastics from our water, creating smarter ways to monitor, predict, and manage wildfires. to help communities stay safe

and responsibly developing AI to transform healthcare and speed diagnoses and treatment. These are just some of the ways that UBC is transforming research into real world impact. To learn more about the University of British Columbia's work and how it's driving positive change,

visit ubc.ca slash push forward. This is a CBC podcast. Hey Canada, we're ready to Ronto the Line from Toronto, Ontario. It's the do the punchline. Innovators, and we're here back in my hometown, Toronto, Ontario, a place full of oddities. There's a store here called the Skull Store that bills itself as the world's biggest oddity shop. You can buy a saber-toothed tiger skull or an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus that's been marked down from 500,000 to just $250,000, ladies and gentlemen.

It makes no sense to me, although when I saw that, I did say, Time now to meet two odd debaters here to even the score. This Toronto comedian's material isn't off the rack. It's Simon Rackoff. Greats to have back on. Hey, Steve. Hello, my friends. And this comic needed help sleeping in the afternoon and learned there's a nap for that.

It's Montreal's Waseem Al-Munzer. Wasim, welcome back, my friends. Gentlemen, your topic is one that will give you food for thought. Restaurant table service. Is it superior to a buffet? As a longtime former server in restaurants, both with buffets and without, I'll be honest, I enjoyed both. As a server, I would get great tips for bringing food and being friendly,

but at the buffet, I would give great tips, such as you should bring bigger plates from home. Or you got to wrap up that gravy before putting it in your pocket, idiot. Time now for you. a debate that we hope our audience will eat up. So, whereas it offers a more structured, calm, and intimate dining experience, be it resolved, table service is superior to a buffet. Simon, you're arguing for this, please, my friend. You have two minutes. Starting now, Simon Rakoff. When I got this topic, I had a visceral reaction, which is old man speak for,

triggered. Years ago, I had a gig in Calgary. When I got there, the marquee said, appearing this week, Simon Rakati. So I went to the manager to complain, because that's not my name. My name is Rakoff. Rackoff, all those jokes you're thinking of. I've heard them. And I said, why Rakati? And he said, well, we needed the F's for buffet.

I've hated them ever since. But seriously, dining out is the last block keeping the shuttering Jenga tower that is today's service industry standing. I get my money myself out of a bank machine, then fill up the car at a self-serve station. If I go out to eat, I want to sit down and have everything done for me outside of the chewing. People rave about the buffet's variety of choice.

At a real restaurant, I select my meal from a menu that is carefully curated by a chef who makes my food to my specifications. A buffet is more like a farmer, throwing the bucket of slop in a trough for all the pigs to share. I mean, if I have to get my own food at a buffet, which involves elbowing my way to the dishes through a mass of other greedy patrons, hustling for fried shrimp like hockey players

digging a puck out of the corner, I may as well eat at home for a fraction of the price. A sit-down meal is dining. A buffet is work. Simon Rackoff, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Now, to turn the tables on Simon in favor of buffets, here's Waseem Almunzer. Some people will have a single spoon foot of cake and say,

Oh, I couldn't possibly have another bite. It was so rich. Let's clear the table and play Clue. Others will ask, can I be alone with the cake for five minutes, please? That's us, buffet people. The salt, sugar, and MSG of the earth. Buffets are for the proletariat. The farmer in rural manitario.

The plumber and rural Manaburda. Not the stuck-up coastal elites in Vancouver, BC. Or St. John's Newfoundland. Let's be honest. The white cloth they give me to cover my clothes at a fancy restaurant is worth more than anything I'm wearing. You think your chef is better than mine? What? Because he has sleeve tattoos and can afford a coke habit?

I'll have you know my chef was a doctor in Sri Lanka. You're paying $35 for one scallop and a smear of pretentious goo. I'm having so many plates that my dining experience is financially profitable. Oh, but we seem, why can't you have just one plate? Because I never knew my father, okay? Buffets are healthy. I'm getting all four food groups, fruit, carbs, fried stuff, pigeon. I go there dressed like a Russian track coach from the 80s.

I'm doing squats in the bathroom to squeeze in one more egg roll. You having a pint of Guinness? I'm there to break a Guinness record. You say buffets are dirty. Good! You're being weighted on hand and foot. I'm getting immunized for hand, foot, and mouth disease.

Table service is for people cosplay as the 1%. should only be for people with names redacted from the Epstein list. You say, O'Hajah, bring back the pepper. I say, bring back the guillotine. Christine. Al Munzer.

All right. It is time now for the bare knuckle round. We're debating whether table service beats buffet. So, help yourself by proving that the first cutleries the deepest. While you're busy, kitchen up to your opponent. Don't leave the audience, smorgas bored. Because if you appear dim, some might not vote for you.

So time to roast each other, starting now. Before we start, I do want to say I'm a huge fan, Mr. Rakati. I don't know, man. I just think you haven't had enough pretentious goo to really appreciate it. No, look, again, we're so used to doing everything for ourselves. I went to shoppers recently. I had to pick out my stuff. I had to find the stuff. I had to take it to the cash. I cashed it out myself. And then the machine says, how did we do today? We did nothing. Now, I admit, sometimes I don't like going to the cashier at shoppers. I've had a

bad experience. I bought some head and shoulders for my daughter. And the cashier said, And I guess it's for your shoulders. Some people think when you're bald, it means you're unhealthy. I say buffets. Buffets are healthy. I'm bringing it back. People think you're a glutton. I'll have you know I'm counting calories.

It's true. I'm not reducing the amount I eat. I'm just counting them. It's more of a mathematical exercise, to be fair. But I finally learned how to count the 26,000. So. Look, you go to a real restaurant. You're not going to see a fat man's face print

in the mashed potatoes. I find that a tremendous advantage. They didn't have a spoon. What was I supposed to do? What I love about a buffet you could customize on the spot, you have to ask your way to, can I have a salad with no onions? I rip mine out on the spot.

Throw it on the carpet. Just like at home. And then somebody else picks up. and eats them up and eats them. Just like at home. Debating table service versus buffet, and if you didn't catch it on the radio, both the debaters are bald.

It's time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on buffet versus table service, brought to you by Dracula's least favorite restaurant, buffet the vampire slayer. I stand by that. Stand by that. What's unique about Shady Maples buffet

in Pennsylvania Amish country? Wassim. They serve Rum Springer rolls. Huh? Those who got it, got it a lot. Simon? Actually, guests have to help the Amish build the restaurant before they eat.

That's good. Two points for Simon. Shady Maples Buffet. in Pennsylvania is America's largest buffet, offering over 200 feet of buffet. Plenty of parking for horses. I like that. I'm giving myself a point.

What is the name of the Toronto restaurant where diners are served in total darkness? Wasim. The McDonald's on Queen in Spadina? Three points from the crowd. Trust that, if you're not from Toronto, don't go to that McDonald's. The place in Toronto, the restaurant where diners are served in total darkness, anyone know?

Noir. Oh, Noir, that's right. And someone said it perfectly. That's rare in Toronto. We also would have accepted, oh, no. What's that? According to Miriam Webster, the Swedish word smorgasbord literally translates to what? Simon.

Roll me home, Sven. I like that. I like that. Three points. Wasim? It's my coffee table from IKEA. Official point. There's no point in making fun of this answer.

The Swedish word smorgasbord literally translates to butter goose table. There you go. That's the firing line, everybody. It is almost time for our fantastic Danforth Music Hall audience to place their votes. But first, here again to raise the salad bar on buffets. Let's hear again from Waseem,

Tom Munzer. Table service gives you a set menu. My menu? Set in my heart. At a buffet, I'm getting every continent on one plate. I get to travel the world without a passport. And of course, I don't have a passport. I'm a buffet person.

Sushi next to tandoori chicken, tacos next to hopefully beef. I don't know. The sign was missing. Next to a piece of pizza that's all but welded to the serving tray. I don't want to follow courses. What if I want to start with ice cream? That's my right as a Canadian citizen. My older brother didn't serve in Afghanistan,

so I'd be forced to have ice cream last. I'm sorry, that is not why he joined the Taliban. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a third helping of jello I need to get to backstage. Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of buffets, we are going to get letters, and we'll send them to you. Now, with more talking points that he's bringing to the table about table service, let's hear again from Simon Rackov.

You know who also goes up to get their food instead of having it brought to them? Prisoners. You're paying to get the same level of service as convicted felons. You know, the big draw of the buffet is all you can eat. Glutney is one of the seven deadly sins, not a suggestion. And that's not the only unhealthy aspect. A buffet is a bacterial free-for-all. Did we learn nothing from COVID?

The fact that every buffet has a sneeze guard is all the deterrent I need. No real restaurant boasts about reducing the spit in your food by 30%. I mean, I might consider a sneeze guard effective if it was an actual uniformed sentry who shot people who sneezed. Until then, give me a civilized, sanitary sit-down, Thank you.

All right. Simon Rackoff, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. With a very civilized argument on behalf of civilized table service, Wasim is all about the buffet, and it is up to our Danforth audience to vote. By applause, who doesn't want to wait another second to applaud for Simon's defense of table service, Simon Rackoff?

Okay? Distinguished applause. And who would happily come back for more after digesting Wasim's self-serving argument on buffets. I've got to give this one to Wasim Al Munzer. All of you can enjoy, buffet. Hey, debaters, listeners. Well, there's no debating it.

We'd love it if you could hit the follow button on our podcast. That way, you won't miss an episode. And if you already follow us, thank you. The University of British Columbia is optimistic about the future because it's helping to shape it. It all starts with UBC students and faculty, who understand that challenges also bring opportunities to do better, and that's exactly what they're working towards.

By partnering with communities, businesses, and the public sector, UBC is tackling the biggest issues and making a real difference in B.C. and across Canada, like using natural materials to filter microplastics from our water, creating smarter ways to monitor, predict, and manage wildfires to help communities stay safe, and responsibly developing AI to transform healthcare and speed diagnoses and treatment. These are just some of the ways that UBC is transforming research into real-world impact. To learn more about the University of British Columbia's work and how it's driving positive change, visit ubc.ca.ca slash push forward.

Prime Minister Mark Carney has finally secured a majority for this liberal government. What are his plans and how does it all affect you? The Power and Politics podcast answers these questions and more six days a week. We have you covered from all angles. Our reporter roundtable joins us every Friday, and you can get caught up with the weekly wrap every Saturday. Follow and listen to Power and Politics wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Toronto, are you ready to meet your next pair of debaters? Listen to that.

This comic once played the bongos in front of a comedy club in an effort to drum up business. It's longtime funny man first-time debater, Adam Christie. Hi, my friend. What's up? Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Finally. And when this comic listens to songs in an elevator,

it's like muzac to her ears. It's Halifax's Claire Belford. Oh, my goodness. Claire, she's wearing a cast, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know what's... Okay, I was unaware of what happened here. Oh, the parachute didn't open. Your topic is one that we think

will hit close to home. Toronto. Does it have the best quality of life? That's enough of a show for some people here. If the debater opposed to Toronto wins us over, we'll all be questioning our decision to even be here, which could lead people to relocate far out west, like Hamilton. But then you might have to start cheering for the Hamilton Tiger Cats,

who haven't won a championship in a long time, So, actually, if you're a sports fan from Toronto, pretty natural. All right. Time for a debate that will be the best quality it can be. So, whereas it's a vibrant and diverse city that offers unparalleled opportunities and world-class amenities,

be it resolved, nothing beats the quality of life in Toronto. Adam, you're arguing for this, my lucky friend. You have two minutes, starting now, Adam Christie. Thank you. Thank you. You know how I know. I know that this city is the best is that everyone hates us. Everyone is jealous. Like, I tour around this whole country,

and people talk so much trash about Toronto. And a new thing people say is they go, oh, it's sketchy. They go, there's encampments there. We don't like encampments. And they say this. I think that's a rude thing to say. But also, it's because they feel unsafe.

And I would like to say, just on a safety standard, I would rather spend one calendar year living next to an encampment, then spend one Friday night in Sudbury, Ontario, Canada. Can I say that? Like, I feel safe around encampments, but a sports bar at midnight in Sudbury,

I'm like, I'm getting punched. Now, Claire is not like that, but are we going to take the argument that Toronto is bad from a person who lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia? The most famous thing that happened in Halifax is that it exploded. You know what I like about Toronto?

Never explodes. Not a problem that we have here. And that's because Toronto's the best. We have world-class entertainment right at our fingertips. Last year, I walked to a Rod Stewart concert. That only happens in Toronto. Rod Stewart is not coming to Red Deer, Alberta. If Rod Stewart is ever in Red Deer, Alberta,

guess what? Rod Stewart has been kidnapped. Also, world-class late-night food options. At 2 a.m., I can get Schwarma or pizza or dumplings. If you want to eat at 2 a.m. in most parts of Canada, guess what? You're eating a squirrel. Also, world-class events. This year, we are hosting the 2006 World Cup in the city, which all to...

Yes. Yes. Which all of us will celebrate by going to our rich friends' cottage in the Muskocas. Finally, Toronto inspires on a world-class level. Disney set the Pixar movie turning red here. That's not happening anywhere else in Canada. There's never going to be a movie called Toy Story 6 to Infinity and to Oshawa. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. Adam Christie. Thank you, Adam. Now, here to bury Adam's argument, 416 feet under. Let's hear from Claire Belford. Okay, off the record, can I just point out that this is the only city in the country

where I could lose this debate? To the audience members who believe that nothing beats Toronto's quality of life, May I say, hello wealthy elite. We are humbled you could join us. I'm here today in the epicenter of Garrish Opulence that is publicly funded radio. To say on behalf of working-class Torontoans,

what? I'm not saying this isn't an incredible city. I lived here for years and I loved every second. But I did survive on beans. And every time I rinsed out a can, I'd think to myself, I got a switch to dried. It's just so much cheaper. I can't keep up this fancy can bean habit.

I finally, one, one, amazing. I finally had to leave Toronto at the height of COVID, a time when we were cut off from our vibrant communities and the harsh realities of this city were laid bare, as a single person during COVID, I wasn't touched in any capacity by another human being for eight months. Do you ever get so horny you move to Moncton? Well, you might. So please, do not confuse my critique for scorn.

I take this position because I love Toronto. There are too many incompetent men with inherited money doing an awful job to keep rolling over and saying, yeah, this is great. It's like, who are you? Me in every past relationship? Thank you, Steve. Blair, yeah. Blair Belford, we got ourselves a debate.

And it's time now for the bare knuckle round. We're debating whether nothing beats Toronto's quality of life. So I'm looking forward to some good back Dan Fourth. You two funny sons of beaches are Toronto stars who need to enraptor this audience during this world-class TIF. Remember, old jokes are spadine a dozen. So deliver yours while we're still young street. And make this a Kensing ton of fun starting now.

Okay, first of all, let me get this off my chest. Yeah. I live in Halifax. And sure, we did explode. One time. At least it was by accident. Toronto intentionally puts on a traumatizing air show every year. I, and you know what?

People hate the air show even here, and I love the air show. I go every year. I go to Hanlon's Point for the air show. I go to the nude beach for the air. We got to, we should go. It's awesome. You see a lot.

You see everything. There's rockets everywhere, and it's crazy. And if you line it up correctly, you can see an F-35 shoot out of a guy's butt. It's awesome. It's the best. City's amazing. We have everything.

You know why you can't trust Claire? Claire lived here, but then left Toronto and moved to Moncton. Moving from Toronto to is like dating 90s Johnny Depp and dumping him for current day Johnny Depp. Sweat scarves everywhere. I can understand how low my bar had to get to get horned up for current day Johnny Depp?

Toronto did that. That was Toronto. My bar was so low when I left. I had to scour my new apartment in Moncton for weeks before I could finally accept. I guess there's no mold? I didn't feel right renting without it. Because this city will treat you so terribly and you're expected to be grateful.

Look at him. Look at my opponent, for example. This clearly starving man thinks he has a good life. He can't afford to live here. He can't even afford carbs. Today, Torontoians are mean. I was just called a clearly starving man on the radio. You think that I'm starving because I can't not afford. Well, allow me to quote one of our great mayors of this city when I say, I have plenty to eat at home. Oh, yeah.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Said it on the CBC. I know. I know. I've been set. It is time now for the firing line.

In my hand, I have a list of questions about the quality of life in Toronto, brought to you by the Toronto Condominium Association. who clearly believe in quantity over quality. According to the city of Toronto's website, in the winter, it's completely normal for Toronto residents to do what? Adam Christie. Sleep inside a raccoon for warmth. Like Luke Skywalker.

Three points. Strong reference. Claire? That was actually my exact answer. Okay. All right. Well, zero. In the winter, it's completely normal for Toronto residents to encounter coyotes. Oh.

Yeah. You could sleep inside a coyote. Moving to Canada.com says Torontonians generally don't fit the stereotype of friendly, overly apologetic Canadians. How come? Claire Belford. Because the replacement bus changes you.

It's a slow roll, but it's a three-point answer for Claire. Torontoians generally don't fit the stereotype of friendly, overly apologetic Canadians because people get somewhat hardened after experiencing life in Toronto. A 2025 survey cited in Now Toronto finds 69% of Toronto would describe their quality of life as what? Adam. A 2025 study in Now Toronto, but that magazine's been dead for seven.

I wouldn't call our researchers tireless. Apparently, for the online version of now Toronto, 69% of Torontonians would describe their quality of life as good or very good, or mutually satisfying. A 2025 Ipsos survey found a majority of Torontoans did not agree with what statement. Claire, I arrived. arrived on time thanks to the TTC.

Good. Another three-point answer. Adam Christie? My friends will still visit me if I move to Hamilton. Two and a half points. Sorry, Hamilton. A majority of Torontoians

did not agree with the statement, City services are improving. And that's the firing line, everybody. We're moving right along. And it's almost time for our... dynamic Danforth music hall audience to vote, but first, here again to suggest that if you think the quality of life in Toronto is high, maybe you're high. Let's hear again from Claire Belford. I don't believe in sewing division, but if you have a world-class quality of life in Toronto,

you can eat my debt-ridden Dufferin bus dumper. Toronto's in a housing crisis, an affordability crisis, an overdose crisis, and on top of all of that, Bow signed with the Mets. Everything that makes this city beautiful is being torn away. And if we're going to stop it, we have to face it. So Adam, please, admit it. Your life sucks. You don't have to defend the CN Tower just because you look like it.

Join us. Together, we can make a Toronto for everyone. Say it with me, the people united will never be defeated. United will never be defeated. Zora and M. Thank you, Steve. Thank you. Claire Belford, everybody.

Yeah, getting the people together. Those who knew really liked it and quite a few confused faces, but that's okay. Now, here to remind us that when it comes to life in Toronto, quality is job one, as far as he's concerned. Let's hear from the, as far as I'm concerned, perfectly-hided. Adam Christie. Thank you.

People of Toronto, Claire Belford thinks that you are all idiots. You come in here and try to tell us the quality of life here is bad? Well, jokes on you, Claire. We already know that. We live here. People who badmouthed Toronto, you know why you'll never hurt us with your insults? Because no one hates Toronto more than the people who live here. But that's how... I love it here.

This is my home. I tried to buy a house here. I tried to buy a house here in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. And did you know that I can't do that? Did you know there's no world in which... I asked my real estate agent, how do you get a house that you can afford? And he said, well, a lot of people are getting early inheritance.

And I was like, are you telling me to kill my dad? And you'll give me a house? So yes, Toronto is an expensive, crowded, unaffordable hellhole. But it's our expensive, crowded, unaffordable hellhole. Thank you, Steve. Christie! On behalf of Toronto, really hit a chord there, I think, my friend. All right, audience, it is up to you to decide by applause.

How many of you agreed with Adam that the quality of life in Toronto see in towers above the rest, Adam Christie? Listen to change. No, let's still do it. And how many of you appreciated Claire giving you the quality lowdown on the low quality of Toronto? We've got to give this one to Adam Crick. Well, that's all for this week. I'm Steve Patterson saying I do like living in Toronto, but I'm always open to suggestions.

I'll argue with you again soon, Canada. The Debaters is created by Richard Side. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Callender, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson, and Graham Clark. with continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis, and Gary Jones. Technical production by James Porella and Todd Reimer. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphreys, David Pride, and Emily Ferrier. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts.

And thanks to everyone at the Danforth Musical in Toronto. For more CBC podcasts, go to cBC.ca.ca slash podcasts.