The Debaters - Is meeting the parents important? And is Victoria, BC cool?

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

We’re deciding if meeting the parents is a major milestone, and whether Victoria, BC has the cool factor.Featuring: Syd Bosel, Abdul Aziz, Ivan Decker, and Katie-Ellen Humphries.Fill out our listener survey here. We appreciate your input!

All right. It is October. It is officially spooky season, which is great timing because there is a new Canadian thriller series out. It's called Wayward, and I think we should be talking about it. My name is Alameen Abdu Mahmoud and I love pop culture. And this week on my podcast, Commotion, I called up some of my favorite critics to get into the show about a school for troubled teens and then things start to go wrong. It is just wonderful. And it's bringing something new and interesting to the thriller genre. For that episode and a whole lot more, you can find and follow Commotion with Alameen Abduhne. on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a CBC podcast. Hey Canada, are you ready for a whale of a time? From the whale watching hub of Victoria, BC, it's the debaters. The debaters where comedians fight with facts and funny in this audience, picks the winner. Now here's a man whose jokes always krill, Steve Patterson. Hey, thanks, Graham Clark. Hello, Canada, and welcome back to the debaters. It is great to be back in Victoria, BC.

Yeah. A place with many world-renowned attractions. One is the famous fan-tan alley in historic Chinatown. At just 35 inches across, it's known as the narrowest street in Canada. If you have trouble with how thin this alley is, you may be narrow-minded. Back in the day, it was also known for illicit gambling activities. They play a version of Texas Hold'em, where someone would squeeze through Fantan Alley, and people would bet on whether the alley would hold them or not. Now it's time to meet two debaters who are a sure bet. this comedian once hooked up an intercom to their stove because they wanted a burner phone.

It's Comox B.C.'s Sid Bozell! Come on out, Sid. Sid. Sid Bozell, everybody. One of Vancouver Island's own. And this comedian found a baby hammerhead in their plumbing, which was a real shark to the system. It's Vancouver's Abdulaziz. Abdulaziz. another of our favorites coming back to join us again your topic is one that we hope will meet your expectations meeting the parents is there anything more important I remember meeting my wife Nancy's parents early on in our courtship and learning that her dad worked in the same industry as my dad and even looked a bit like my dad

So I wanted to earn his approval, but he was reluctant to give it, just like my dad. There's an old adage that says women often marry men who remind them of their dads, but in my case, I married the daughter of someone that reminded me of my dad. So kind of like I married my sister, which, now that I say it out loud, is troubling. Time for a debate that'll have you. up in the parent trap. So, whereas it's a significant relationship milestone that signals increased devotion,

risks, awkwardness, and judgment, and offers insight into family dynamics, be it resolved, nothing is more important than meeting the parents. Sid, you're arguing for this, please. You have two minutes, starting now. Sid Bozell. My dear young Abdul,

it's important to the parents to meet the new beau because we will have not seen the sweet sight of our children since before they hit puberty and still adored us. Both my kids hit puberty when I hit menopause.

We were all nuts at the same time. My daughter phoned me one day from university. I knew it was her. I recognized your voice from before. And she asked if she could bring her new serious boyfriend home for winter break. I said, yes. And then the text started, Abdul.

They were not so much a list of do's and don'ts, more just a list of don'ts. Don't make him do the composting. Don't ask him anything about his family. That's what she sounds like when she's texting. And then in all capital letters, like she was yelling at me, it said, just don't embarrass him. Well, I have to preface the story with the fact that I had just finished chemotherapy, but I didn't like it. And I was completely bald. They're not bragging, it's relevant to the story.

So we picked up her lady and lordship at the airport and stopped to get snacks and gas. I went to a single occupancy wheelchair access washroom and I was just standing up to pull my pants from around my ankles when the new serious boyfriend walked in. I guess something caught his eye. And he looked down at, you know, what would have been a muff. And then he looked up. And then he looked back up at my face, I think, hoping for different information.

You guys. the whole transaction took like eight mississippies i thought she was going to kill me and then it occurred to me that this actually was not on the list of don't so in conclusion nothing is more important than the bond that now lies between me and that young lad. Thank you. Sid Bozell, ladies and gentlemen, on why there's nothing more important than meeting the parents.

You know, radio is known as theater of the mind. Sid, you gave us some real clear theater there with you. theater there with it. Thank you. All right. Can I just pass? No, you can't pass. Now, to make it apparent why meeting the parents is not important at all.

Let's hear from Abdul Aziz. Meeting your partner's parents is a poorly structured job interview where a couple of baby boomers attempt to determine how qualified you are to have sex with their adult daughter. with even whiter parents somehow. I would say that there's an additional gauntlet people of color face when meeting their partner's parents, finding a way to hide the fact that you're not white. A thing that is increasingly difficult

as white face has become so frowned upon in modern society. This cognitive dissonance then kicks off a series of pantomimes where you must pretend that, one, you love their daughter and are repulsed by her sexually. Two, you intend on giving them grandchildren without touching her, the Christian way. You wouldn't dream of doing so without the holy imperative bestowed by a priest and the Canadian Bureau of Wedding Registries. Holiest of bureaucratic orders!

Even if you manage to sidestep the religion stuff, white parents quickly become amateur eugenicists. Conducting thinly veiled inquiries into how brown their green. grandchild will be. A fear that should be easily assuaged because Jesus was fully Middle Eastern and he came out looking like Bradley Cooper somehow. This horrendous reality leaves us with only two options.

Look to Middle Eastern cultures and return to Middle Eastern cultures and return to arranged marriages or kill all parents. Thank you, Steve. Abdul Aziz arguing that it is not

important that you meet the parents. It's time now for the bare knuckle round. We're debating whether nothing is more important than meeting the parents. So before this courtship sails and you end up father away from winning, pull out some significant other material that has a family gathering of truth to it. Time to hospitality, tee up some jokes, and bring this one home,

starting now. Eight Mississippies? Just so we're all in the same. page about how long that is one Mississippi two Mississippi three Mississippi four Mississippi

five Mississippi six Mississippi seven Mississippi eight Mississippi that's a a lot of Mississippi. It's a lot of Mississippi. Abdul, let's return to the actual subject, shall we?

Yeah! It'd be great! I think you're being presumptuous, if not somewhat unhinged, as a grandma whose skin is so translucent that she can see her own veins. I would love my daughter to bring home a boy that looks like you, but not one that talked or active. that talked or acted like you. Unhinged?

I would say I'm about as unhinged as that bathroom door was. All right. That's the bare knuckle round. Time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on meeting the parents. Brought to you by the movie The Graduate.

The graduate. Remember, when meeting your fiance's mom, it's introduction, not seduction. Graduate referenced little too recent. Glamour.com's top three mistakes to avoid when meeting your partner's family are, forgetting your manners, getting all touchy-feely in public, and what else? Sid? Not knocking. Oh, I had just cleansed my mind

and now I'm right back. Abdul. Mistaking the communion wafers for Christian breakfast cereal. It really looks like many weeks. Top three mistakes are forgetting your manners, getting all touchy-feely in public, and bringing your phone to the dinner table.

Listen to that. That one really hit home here in Victoria. What three words of advice does Cosmopolitan give when meeting parents from a different ethnic background than yours? Abdul. Deflect, distract, deceive.

The crowd is giving you three points for that one. Cosmopolitan says when meeting parents from a different ethnic background, do your homework. Refinery29.com's article, Awkward Meet the Parents' Stories that Really Happened, tells of a woman whose parents greeted her boyfriend, how? Sid?

Like kissing him on the lips for like three Mississippies. This debate is mostly counting at this point. Abdul? Well, I did hear about this weird thing that happened in a gas station bathroom not too long ago. The awkward story they talked about in Refinery29.com's article of a woman whose parents greeted her boyfriend by wearing full Star Trek uniforms and doing the Vulcan Live Long and Prosper salute. I'm assuming that relationship went where none had gone before. That's the firing line, everybody.

It is almost time for our McPherson Playhouse audience to vote. But first, hear again to say, when it comes to meeting the parents, he'd do anything for love, but he won't do that. Let's hear again from Abdulaziz. Even if they're cool, there is no point to meeting the parents. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend, not her cool dad.

And no matter how cool or hot he is, I do not plan on kissing him, right? No matter how hard my opponent advocates for it or how many dreams I have had about it, I won't kiss him. This is a promise I make to you the Canadian public. If it was viable, I would date only orphans to avoid such temptation. But my girlfriend's parents are unfortunately still alive.

And so I bear this burden. My girlfriend's hot dad and her normal-looking mom. Thank you, Steve. Abdul Aziz. This one's going to be a fun one for you to listen to with the whole family. Thanks, Abdul now, here to be transparent about her meeting the parents at Herence. Let's hear again from Sid Bozell. It was 1979.

I had asked my dad not to comment on my new boyfriend's long hair. At dinner, my beau said that he was a vegetarian and my dad could not stop himself and said, why? Do you think meat will stop your hair from growing? And then my mom proceeded to kindly pick the carrots, potatoes, and peas out of the pot of beef stew for him. I've witnessed my own parents' brains implode while hosting an invasive species within their own natural habitat. And I've seen my own kids witness us function in the real world independently of their guidance. Meeting the parents is a broadening exercise for everyone involved, expanding our emotional horizons,

practicing blind obedience, and keeping secrets. Thank you. Sid Beuzele has thought about this. She says you should meet the parents of your partner. Abdul Aziz says the opposite, and let's see how Victoria will vote. By applause, how many of you thought that Abdul laid down the law on in-laws, Abdulaziz? Okay, a lot of love for Abdul.

And how many thought her meet the folks' jokes met your expectation, Sid Bozell. It's close, but we've got to give this one to Sid Bozell. You should meet the parents. Big hand for Sid Bozell and Abdulaziz, everybody. You're listening to CBC's The Debaters. Want to be a part of the debating action? For upcoming tour dates, be sure to visit our website at cbc.ca.

slash the debaters. All right. It is October. It is officially spooky season, which is great timing because there is a new Canadian thriller series out. It's called Wayward, and I think we should be talking about it. My name is Alameen Abdul Mahmood, and I love pop culture. And this week on my podcast promotion, I called up some of my favorite critics to get into the show about a school for troubled teens and then things start to go wrong. It is just wonderful. And it's bringing something new and interesting to the thriller genre. For that episode and a whole lot more, you can find and follow. Follow commotion with Elamina Abdul Mahmoud on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Victoria, are you ready to meet your next pair of debaters?

Listen to that, Canada! This comic bought symbols for his drum set with two different colors, and boy, do they ever clash. It's Vancouver's Ivan Decker. Ivan Decker! There he is. Looking smart, as always. Oh, hi. Taking the stage to my right.

And this comic likes to watch cheap, schlocky movies and then mercilessly berate them. It's Victoria's own Katie Ellen Humphrey. Woo! Wow. Hi, Katie Ellen. Hi, Dee. This is a hometown gig for you.

You were born and raised in Victoria. Yeah! Yeah. Your topic, debaters, is one that we think you'll be hip to. Victoria, is it cool? In 2024, the Kande Nast Travel website named Victoria, the number one best small city in the world. Way to go.

One of the selling. features of the city is how many places serve high tea. A lot of locals here think high tea is cool, even though the tea is always served hot. I should also point out that calling something cool might not be cool anymore. I've looked it up. Kids these days use terms like sick or Gucci or Skibbitty, which doesn't make any sense at all. In fact, Skibbidi sounds like the last thing a Kardashian says before she gets sick into her Gucci handbag. Time now for a debate that we'll figure out if Vic is sick.

So, whereas it's a city that has received worldwide acclaim for its beautiful scenery, wonderful people, and wide selection of cultural attractions, eateries, and nightlife, be it resolved, Victoria is cool. Ivan, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes, starting now. Ivan Decker! Oh, thank you very much, Victoria. I love you.

I love Victoria. I did not grow up here. I grew up on the mainland in a town called Ladner. And if you know where that is, congratulations on your interest in our country's 11th best corn. We were a family of modest means.

Kids from my school, they went on holidays. to places like Disneyland or Calgary. But not us, we used to come to Victoria, and I loved it. Better than Disneyland in every way. You go to California, you gotta take an airplane, there's a lot of stress and a lot of rules.

Come to Victoria, take a ferry, there are no rules. As long as you get out of your car and come up to the passenger deck, You could murder someone. Nobody would care. They would all just move up one spot in the white spot line. Victoria has the Parliament building. It's all lit up with rows of lights that make a spectacular 3D outline that makes the most incredible backdrop to a photograph.

You don't even have to know what goes on in there. Nobody does. Victoria has everything. Brunch, thrift stores, other brunch. This is a true story. I once got a parking ticket downtown Victoria. I went to City Hall and apologized, and they said, don't worry about it.

That's pretty cool. This is the only city where you can go, to a diner, order whatever you want to make me, and then flip for it, and if you win, it's free. Victoria Food Gambling, which is much better than Nanaimo Food Gambling, which is just, what's that meat? As far as I'm concerned, Victoria, this is the mainland, the rest of the planet is the island.

Thank you. Woo! Ivan Decker! Wow! Coming out swinging on behalf of Victoria. Now, here to tell us why she thinks Victoria is about as cool as a cucumber sandwich. Which some of you are like, yeah. Let's hear from Victoria's own Katie Ellen Huffrey's.

Thank you. Victoria is cool. Victoria is cool the way Arnold Schwarzenegger is an author. Like, sure, but it's not what we're known for. I don't want to say the scene in Victoria is dead, but genuinely, when you Google cool things to do in Victoria, two of the top 10 attractions are cemeteries. Now, a cemetery is a lot of things.

of things. Peaceful, serene, my best chance at owning property. But cool? Another top attraction is miniature world, which for those that don't know, it is a museum that boasts 85 displays of tiny dioramas. Again, this place is incredible, unique, memorable even. But it's not cool. There's never going to be a Springsteen song about the world's smallest operational sawmill. Oh, the mill shut down in 76 and 11 years gone.

They made one smaller than a toothpick. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. I think we can all acknowledge what I just did there was not cool. But I am from Victoria. Victoria has produced some incomparable talents.

Nellie Furtado, Emily Carr, David Foster. Not to mention the swollen members, but enough about Ivan's only fans. None of those people live in Victoria today because they are too cool. Or in the case of Emily Carr,

because she was born in 1871, which if she were alive today, would make her 154 years old, slightly above average for Victoria. One of the most famous local figures in Victoria is downtown busker, Darth Fiddler. Yes. This is an artist that plays violin on the streets

dressed as Darth Vader. Undeniably, the man is an icon. But when your city is best represented by a classical musician dressed as a Star Wars character, it is safe to say at that point, cool is a galaxy far, far away. Thank you. Katie Allen Humphreys, she's from Victoria.

She says it isn't cool. Ivan says the opposite. And it's time now for the bare knuckle round. We're debating whether Victoria is cool. So release everything you've been inner harboring. And if you're funny, one of you will be victorious. And if you're not, you'll receive smile zero from the audience. And you won't amount to a beacon hill of beans.

It's high tea time you impress the audience starting now. All right, I know it's cool. There's a lot of things that are inherently cool about Victoria. It's a university city. I know those university people are cool because I asked if I can hang out with them and they said, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's cooler than a 23-year-old polysci major named Grayson that lives off campus with 12 dudes with three towels between them? Okay, personally, I have a beef. I think Arnold Schwarzenegger is a fantastic author. I don't know if you know this. He wrote a series of children's books. One, two, three muscles in me, very popular.

I was a big fan of the wheels on the bus are heavy, but not when I try to lift them. Yeah. Sure. When we all love, I'll be back, but grandpa won't a child's guide through grief. We may be off topic here. But everyone knows those books are ghost-written.

Well, yeah, I mean, they were written by AI because he's The Terminator. We've got to say more stuff about Victoria and less stuff about Arnold Schwarzenegg. Don't listen to my opponent, okay? Katie Ellen's too close to this. She grew up here, all right? Where'd you go now?

You went to Vancouver? You think that's cool? Vancouver's cool. Vancouver's just this, but everyone has less money. It's like, hey, what would Victoria be like if everyone had one fewer room in their house? You have rooms in your house?

All right. That's the bare-knuckle round. We're debating whether Victoria is cool, and it's people from Victoria that will be deciding. I love these kind of debates. It's time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on Victoria being cool,

brought to you by Miniature World. Miniature world. You have to admit it's a little cool. What is the name of Victoria's long-running multi-day music festival? Ivan.

Antiques Roadshow. Crowds. Crowds giving you two for that one. Katie Ellen? Softwoodstock. I like that. Victoria's long-running multi-day music festival, Rifflandia. Yeah.

But I like softwood stock. An April 2025 report from Betway ranked Victoria as Canada's second coolest city. The ranking was based on factors such as the prevalence of vegan restaurants, record stores, and what else? Ivan? The prevalence of government jobs where you don't really have to do anything. I got a mixed response.

No, they were way happier than sad. Yeah, those are your people. Vegan restaurants, record stores, and tattoo parlors. Nice. Popular Victoria Bar, Big Bad Johns, calls itself a place where you can throw your peanut shells on the floor, add your own mementos to the wall, and hang what from the rafters? Ivan. Yourself, if you're over 30.

Incorrect. Katie Ellen. A basket of hydrangea. Oh, that's a nice, classy one. Okay, audience, you must know this. Your bra, that's what you hang from the rafters. Your bra, along with your dignity. Victoria's Comedy Club has a very strange name

for a comedy venue. What is it? Edlers. Ivan? I mean, that was perfect. They couldn't help themselves. Thank you, I'll give you your money after this. As the heckler said, it's called hecklers, and it's great. Oh.

Katie Ellen? Based on my friend's responses when I play it, I would have thought it was called, oh, show's kind of late, isn't it? Well, the actual answer is hecklers, guessed correctly by at least one audience member and Ivan. And it is one of Canadian comedian's favorite places to play. one of the best comedy clubs in Canada. Heckler's right here in Victoria. According to a travel article on Businessinsider.com,

Victoria feels like a mix of the United Kingdom and what? Katie Ellen. Birkenstocks. Crowd has given you a point for that. Good answer. Ivan Decker. Can I get the question again? Sure.

According to a travel article on... Business Insider.com, Victoria feels like a mix of the United Kingdom and what? England. Wait, are those different? Oh, God. What was Brexit? Was Brexit that? Victoria feels like a mix of the United Kingdom and Portland, Oregon.

That should be a point for Katie with the Birkenstocks. Yeah, all right, we've never had a debate or give the other debater a point. Fine. One point for Katie Ellen. I never said I was smart. From Ivan. And that's the firing line, everybody. Well, it's almost time for our McPherson Playhouse audience to place their votes. But first, here to tell us why Victoria is calm and collected.

But as far as she's concerned, not cool. Let's hear again from Katie Ellen Humphreys. Things that have been. considered cool in my lifetime include pogs, low-rise jeans, Mel Gibson, and low-rise jeans again. The Majesty of Victoria is not some here-to-day, gone tomorrow trend, like hyper-color shirts, and Mel Gibson as a heartthrob.

It has staying power, like a couch and sweater, or Mel Gibson as a monster. For all its virtues, Victoria is not cool. It's a classic. Here tonight, in this theater, you're very shortly going to be asked to vote whether or not Victoria is cool, and I want to remind you that when people think a place is cool,

they often move there. Thank you. Katie Ellen Humphreys, interesting tactic. She is basically daring the audience to vote for their own town. I love it. Now, here again to tell us why he thinks Victoria is as cool as ice and twice as nice. It's Ivan Decker. Oh, thank you.

Here, the big complaint about Victoria is that it's full of newlyweds and nearly deads. That's the thing people say. Yeah, that's who you want to hang out with. You want to hang out with the people in the middle? Me? I'm not fun to hang out with. I'm oldly wed and far from dead.

I have two children. You think I can be spontaneous? If I have a mimosa at brunch, I'm falling asleep at one o'clock in the afternoon. This is why Victoria is great. It's a city where the children are adults, and the adults go to bed at 9.30. They can't call in a noise complaint

if they're already asleep. Sounds like a party to me. Just don't sleep in and miss your spot for an ethically sourced, locally raised, biodynamic, very cool brunch. Thank you. Ivan Decker, making some good points. All right, it is up to you, beautiful McPherson Playhouse, to vote by applause.

Who thought Katie Allen's Victoria is lame claim was fair game, Katie Allen Humphreys? Woo! Listen to the crowd. All right. And who thought Ivan, saying Victoria is cool, gave you the chills, Ivan Decker? It's close. It's very close. I'm pretty sure some of you voted twice,

but I've got to give this one to Katie Ellen Humphreys. Victoria is not cool. Sorry. Big hand for Katie Ellen Huffreys and Iben Decker, everybody. Well, that's all for this week. I'm Steve Patterson saying to all Canadians, you should all visit Victoria, just not all at the same time.

I'll argue with you again soon, Canada. Good night. The Debaters is created by Richard Side. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Callender, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson, and Graham Clark. With continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis, and Gary Jones. Technical production by James Perela and Kean Dunn. Story editing by Graham Clark.

With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphreys, David Pride, and Emily Ferrier. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts. And thanks to everyone at the McPherson Playhouse in Victoria. For more CBC podcasts, go to cBC.ca.ca slash podcasts.