The Debaters - Should kids be on social media? Are stripes better than polka dots?

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

We’re trolling with the punches when we discuss whether kids should use social media. Then, we’re pitting two patterns against each other when stripes take on polka dots.Featuring: Myles Anderson, Sean Lecomber, Rob Pue and the late Kathleen McGee.

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This is Nicole Callender, one of the producers on the show. We're on a summer break right now, so you're about to listen to a debate we aired earlier this season. And get ready for things to get meta when we discuss if kids should use social media. We'll be back in September with brand new. episodes and to kickstart our 20th season. Thanks for listening. Patterson.

Hey! Thanks, Graham Clark. Hello, Canada. Welcome back to the debaters. It is great to be back here in the Edmonton metropolitan region. The St. Albert part specifically. Edmonton, of course, is the capital of Alberta.

And there's a cool thing that happens at the amphitheater on the east lawn of the legislature. If you stand in the middle of the amphitheater and clap, instead of hearing the echo of your clap, you hear a squeak. True story. No one knows what the science is behind that, but it sounds like Edmonton's legislature is full of rodents.

Now, frankly, Frankly, that's not unique in politics. But personally, the only party I want to be a part of is the 497-strong Arden Theatre Party here tonight. Listen to that crowd, Canada. We filled up the theater. And if you don't like laughing, I don't want to hear a squeak out of you. Now it's time to meet a couple of debaters who are anything but mousy.

This comic fell behind on his punctuations lesson. Like a real Johnny Comma lately, it's Victoria's Miles Anderson. Come on out, Miles. There he is. Taking his place behind the podium to my left, looking determined, as he always is. That is his default look. And this comic once saw two reindeer

skip out on their restaurant bill and assumed it was a diner and dasher. It's Edmonton's Sean LeCumber. Let's bring out Sean. There he is. my friend, Sean LeCumber, going backwards into the podium to my right. Yeah, just a little backwards walking. Your topic is one that could become the TikTok of the town.

Social media, should we let our kids use it? No. You know, it wasn't an open question. Would you get these people? I just want some social media savvy youth out there to answer this Gen Xer's question once and for all. Is it pronounced GIF or GIF? Audience. Who thinks it's pronounced GIF?

And who thinks it's Jif? And who has no idea what I'm talking about? Okay. All right. That last group's probably going to need a young person to accomplish. explain the rest of this debate. Time now for a debate that should be over in a jigif. Whereas its platforms can be addictive and cause anxiety

and low self-esteem, be it resolved that kids should not use social media. Miles, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes starting now, Miles Anderson. Thank you. Kids should not have access to social media, drugs, or my model train collection. All these things are very alluring and instantly addictive, but for the last time, do not touch. Social media's only purpose is to mine our personal data to sell us crap.

What is a kid even going to buy? Kids don't have any money. The definition of a child is anyone who makes less than $20,000 a year. Parents shouldn't want their kids on social media. If your kid makes an Instagram account, they're going to find the thousands of pictures you posted of them without their consent. They're really going to freak out. So make sure you film their reaction and posted.

That's going to be good content. Some people will say social media is no worse than video games. This is not true. Video games will teach you things like how to build forts in Fortnite and mines in Minecraft. Forks and mines built this great country. They are the solid foundation upon which our flourishing housing crisis was built. As a comedian, my whole career depends on social media and kids skew the market data. Most views on YouTube are generated by toddlers watching cocoa melon videos on sticky iPads.

I miss the days when my comedy could be based in English, but now my act is mostly just shapes and colors. Learning how to socialize should not be permanently recorded on social media. It may be hard to believe, but I wasn't very cool in high school. Thankfully, my high school experience is not searchable on the internet. It is stored safely in my brain as a series of recurring nightmares. Thank you. Miles Anderson. With a very solid opening argument on why kids should not use social media.

And he does want you to also keep your hands off his model train collection. I just want to reiterate that. Now, here to Twitter away about why it's good for kids to all be linked in together on social media. Let's hear from the luxurious Sean LeCumber. Thank you. Thank you. My name is Sean, and according to Miles, I'm a child. Should children be allowed unfettered access to social media? Of course. They should.

Their posts are a nice break. It's all lip-sinking and dancing. Fun. Remember that? It's a nice break from adults in our entrenched, predictable political hot takes. Once you know what an adult thinks about one thing, you know what they think about everything. You never hear one person say, I don't like these Pride Nights because they're grooming our kids. And also, COVID was a legitimate public health threat

we dealt with as best we could. What are we what? worried about with kids in social media. Who can you care? Let them go. What are we? A little online bullying. That's our concern. Uh-oh. A couple words got you feeling down. Hayden, Jaden, Braden, all the dens.

I was once forced to eat frozen cat feces. Well, all my classmates cheered, eat it, fatty. In case you want to know what a little offline bullying tastes like. We are the generation who spent the first half of our lives doing stuff and the second half of our lives staring at screens.

We see our kids on their devices and we say, You gotta get off of that. When I was a kid. Please. Like we're better than them. Like if an iPhone 15 was around in 19. We wouldn't use it. No, thanks.

I'm not interested in all the world at my fingertips in 4K. I'm about to meet up with two kids I don't even like. But they live close. And we're going to play marbles on the sidewalk. And we're going to play marbles on the sidewalk. Get that phone out of my face. I'm trying to throw a couple cat's eyes and a steely into my crown royal bag.

Thank you. John Lecumber, ladies and gentlemen. John Lecumber, if you've just tuned in, that was an argument for social media. It's time now for the... the bare-knuckle round. We're debating whether kids should be on social media, so it's time for YouTube

to throw the Facebook at one another and show everyone here WhatsApp. Time to carpe DM and give each other a public vlogging. Now that the audience is all a Twitter, sorry, I mean all an X, Let's start really making things meta now. Look, don't worry about kids on social media.

It's natural. Every generation moves one step further away from real activity. You know? My parents went outside all day and did stuff with their friends. I stayed inside and played video games. My children stay inside and watch videos of other people playing video games. It's natural. It's nature.

Let it happen. I don't think it's natural at all for a little kid to be, you know, staying inside, playing with Moldovan bots on social media when they should be outside playing with Moldovan children and learning their traditional dances. I mean, I just read the other day. Instagram is now forcing kids.

to have accounts where they have to declare their ages and it'll be easier for parents to monitor and control their child's usage. I got news for you. Every time a teenager hears that there's some new parental control, their stress level is zero. They love it. There's a genius 11-year-old on YouTube

that is 10 steps ahead of you, folks. They figured it out the day it happened. If you want teens to obey the age, restriction. I think that they don't respond to conflict. I think the teen, you just have to ask nicely. I think I can solve this right now. If there are any teens listening to CBC Radio 1 right now, um, all you guys to just respect the age guideline said by Instagram, that would be great. You never know. St. Nicholas might be watching you. All right. All right. That's the

the bare-knuckle round, everybody. It's been a good one. It's time now for the firing line in my hand. I have a list of questions on social media brought to you by Snapchat. Snapchat, the favored communication method of crackle and pop. Oh, boy.

Finish the tagline from the 2020 documentary, the social dilemma about the negative impacts of big tech. The technology that connects us also does what? Miles. Distracts us from the real issues like the high price of model train cars. Bringing it back.

I love it. Really playing on people's attention spans. John? Needs a charger you don't own. Oh. All right. I love you, it was a good answer. The actual answer is, controls us.

The technology that connects us also controls us. A popular term among teens, Finsta, is slang for a fake Instagram account. What's the purpose of a fake Instagram account? Sean? That allows you to sell furniture that you stole off your neighbor? I didn't do that at all. I didn't do that. But I've heard about it.

It's not what I have here. It was a great guess, though. It's actually a second secret Instagram account that teens use to post things they don't want seen by their parents, teachers, or potential employers. In fall 2024, Australia announced plans to set a minimum age limit for children to use social media. The European Union had previously attempted to do so, but failed.

Why? Miles? Because children voted to leave the EU years ago. Remember Cheggsett? I will give two points for that. Good answer. Sean Lecumber. They couldn't make it lower than the legal drinking agent. seven.

All so good. Two and a half. The European Union had previously attempted to do so, but failed because people complained that it reduced the online rights of minors. Oh, boy.

That's the firing line, everybody. All right. We got a good one here. Great points, either side. And it's almost time for our beautiful St. Albert Arden Theatre audience to pick a winner. But first, here again to tell us why

trying to keep kids off social media is just meme-spirited. Let's hear again from Sean LeCumber. Thank you. You know, my wife was worried if our kids were on social media, they might have some stranger tell them to meet them somewhere. Well, yeah, but they'd...

but they'd need a ride. You think our kids are walking somewhere? No. My kids are allowed unfettered access to social media. One reason, safety, okay? Is he missing? Nope, phone tracker. Boom. There he is. Got him. Next to the dumpster behind Dairy Queen. Lovely studying for a science final.

As a young man, I had low self-esteem. And based on how things turned out, even that might have been set a little high. It was low because my friends were just neighbors of a similar age. My kids are tight with people from all over the world. They connect within a deep personal level. Not just, hey, look, our dads both drink the same type of beer till they fall asleep in an old chair. Thank you.

John LeCumber, in praise of keeping kids on social media. Now, here to tell us why he thinks that social media makes kids anti-social. Let's hear from Miles Anderson. Kids shouldn't learn about the world through social media. When I was a kid in the 90s, I learned about comedy by listening to Steve Patterson on the radio. If I learned how to do comedy through social media, this show would be 35 seconds long. And the only joke would be me asking a person what they do for a living.

Bullying is a huge problem on social media. Before social media, I was bullied a reasonable amount. Four to six hours a day, max. But online bullying is relentless, and kids shouldn't be exposed to it. The only people who should get bullied online are people who bought a cyber truck. Thank you. Miles Anderson, with a quick, concise closing on why he thinks social media makes kids anti-social. Sean LeCumber thinks it's okay.

It's up to you to decide, audience. By applause, how many of you thought that Miles' argument against kids on social media had more than an Instagram of truth to it, Miles Anderson. Okay, good response for Miles. And how many of you were mega-influenced by Sean to keep your kids dialed in on social media, Sean LeCumber? The crowd is spoken. The winner is Sean LaCumber, everybody.

Let the kids keep going on social media. Big hand for Sean LeCumber and Miles Anderson, everybody. You're listening to CBC radios, The Debaters. Want access to bonus content and information on upcoming tour dates? Then be sure to follow us on Instagram at at CBC debaters. You know, shopping for a car should be exciting, not exhausting. And that's where Car Gurus comes in. They have advanced search tools, unbiased deal ratings, and price history.

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Subscribe now. I just have one question for you. St. Albert, are you ready to meet your next pair of debaters? Yes, this should be a good one. This comic once tried selling hors d'oeuvres without any sauce and their sales took a dip. It's Ottawa's Rob Pugh. Rob Pugh, let's get them out here. One of my good buddies in Canadian comedy, we always love having Rob.

Hello, friend. How you doing? Good to have you. It's great to see you. And this comic lines her walls with spaghetti because she enjoys living in the pasta. It's Edmonton's Kathleen McGee. Come on out, Kathleen.

There she is. We always love having Kathleen back. All right, debaters, your topic is one that is challenging by design. Pocodots versus stripes. Finally. Which is the superior pattern? Not for me to say, but I do have a pattern that comes up often in my life

that I'd like to send a shout out to. Hound's tooth. I don't mean the look. I mean, that's what's left of my socks once my dog Ferris gets to them. A hound's tooth. I can only imagine how fast he would bury a burberry pair. It's becoming a genuine pattern of plaid behavior,

and it seems to be a twill for him, but I'd rather he bury a herring bone instead. You know what I'm saying? I was going to include another pattern pun, but my memory's a little paisley, so... Whereas, it's a versatile pattern that's suitable for all ages and can heighten any design or outfit,

be it resolved that stripes are superior to polka dots. Rob, you're arguing for this, please. You have two minutes, starting now, Rob Pugh. I bid good evening to the esteemed judicial panel of pseudo-fashionistas of the CBC Radio Court. Let's settle this age-old debate that's been dividing wardrobes and perplexing closets for generations.

The Titanic class between stripes and polka dots. I flew across the country for this. Yeah. Well, both contestants boast their own charm. I stand before you adamantly behind and defending the indisputable superiority of the stripe. Stripes are the Swiss army of patterns. They elongate, they streamline, they add jazz and pizzazz to everything from power suits to prisonware.

Want to look taller? Stripes. Need to impress on a first date? Stripes. Look in a holler frustration at the dapper man who wouldn't give the Euler fan a fair shake in the playoffs? Stripes! Now let's talk about dots for a second.

Polka dots. What is a polka dot but a filled in circle? Dots are punctuation posing as fashion symbols. All you are as filthy confetti to me, sphere wannabes. So let us cast aside the dots and embrace the lines that will lead us confidently into the future of fashion. Yeah, it's Rob Pugh, Rob Pugh. of strides. I like that you point out that dots are punctuation

and nothing gets a CBC crowd riled up like punctuation. So thank you. Rob Pugh, everybody. Now, here to tell us why we should all have the hots for dots. Let's hear from the always dot on the spot. Kathleen McGee.

Poconauts have a long history. We first saw them in the middle. in the Middle Ages where they scared people. You know why? Because they looked like rashes and were associated with leprosy, syphilis, and smallpox. Yeah, just like Rob.

But... What were these people afraid of, though? Like, I don't understand. If they only use their brains, their brains. They would realize that it wasn't the polka dot that gave them syphilis. Surprise, it was the blacksmith.

Cartoon legends Minnie Mouse and Betty Boop paved the way for one of the greatest polka dot covered characters of our generation. Pokeroo. I'm gonna need some more applause for Pokeroo! Thank you. So on one side we have Minnie Mouse, Betty Boop, and Pokeroo, lovable, fashionable icons.

On the other side, we have a hamburger-loving thief and a demon-summitter, beel juice. Don't make me say his name again. To this day, stripes give me anxiety when I'm shopping. I can never remember the rule. Is it horizontal? Is it vertical? My mother never said I should wear horizontal polka dots because they flatter everyone

and don't make one's waist look wider than it is, Kathleen. It's very true. I can hear some traumatized women in the crowd. In closing, doing all my research, I uncovered the best argument for dots. Stripes are universally known to be worn by get this, mimes. Mimes, that's right.

A vote for stripes is basically telling the world that you support mimes. I mean, if that's how you want to be known, go ahead, that's up to you. But not me. I'll shout from the rooftops. I love Pocodots! Because that's one of the many things

that mimes can't do. Dots rule and striped. Thank you very much. Yeah, Kathleen McGee with an argument on the spot for dots. And I guess you were a little tough on the mimes, but we'll never have one on this show. It's a radio program.

So way to go, Kathleen McGee. We got ourselves a debate, everybody. Time now for the bare-knuckle round. We're debating whether stripes are superior to polka dots. So take it from me, Steve Patternsons. I know, I know, you guys seem stressed. This is no time to be clothed-minded. Be sure to read the fine leopard print

because points are striped for the picking. It's time to leave this audience in stitches starting dot dot dot now. Now. Rob brought up an interesting point. I don't know if you know this. Rob is from Evanton, and he used to play hockey here,

so he's a bit of a hockey expert. The referee is the worst. Why would you bring that up? He just screwed your debate. Okay, that's all I'm saying. Hey, if you're looking for the refs for help, maybe your team ain't good enough. Um, ha, ha, ha, ha.

You know, uh, the polka is. is basically a giant period. And nobody likes to end a sentence. And now we're gonna bring women's bodies into this. Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why did the polka dot cross the road? To get to a sock hop in the 50s.

Also, you're defending stripes and you're not even wearing them. I think I'm creating some polka dots under my armpits. I didn't want to clash. I think we'll end it right there. That was the Bar-Nugle round. We are debating stripes versus polka-dots. Time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on stripes.

versus polka dots, brought to you by the only country that bans both stripes and dots, the Czech Republic. In 2017, over 4,600 people gathered in Japan wearing striped shirts and hats, blue jeans, and glasses in order to break the world record for the most people doing what? Kathleen. Uh, asking, do I look fat in this? I like that. I look that.

I will give you one and a half. Points for that. Rob? To be the most people in one place not getting any. The audience has given you two points. The most people dressed as Waldo from where's Waldo? There was no way to tell how many. They couldn't find them.

BBC's Seven Things You Might Not Know About Stripes. Written on a slow day at the BBC Says that French sailors began wearing stripes in the late 1800s For what reason? Rob Pugh. To let the militaries around the world know that France knows how to go to war

and look good doing it. Good answer. That's a good answer. We'll give you two points. Apparently, they began wearing stripes in the late 1800s, because if they fell overboard, the Stripe's high visibility

would vastly improve their chance of rescue. In 2018, why did residents of a Calgary neighborhood get together and paint polka dots on the shoulder of the road? Rob Pugh. To remind drivers to move over. It's a Cowtown reference. I quite like it. I like it.

Two points. Kathleen McGee. because Calgarians can't draw a straight line. Whoa! There, they like that one. Four and a half points. It was actually done as a traffic calming strategy because the bright colors made the road seem narrower

and drew driver's attention to pedestrians waiting to cross. Oh, that was the longest answer we've ever had. That's the firing line, everybody. You could never over-explain these answers again. It's too much. All right, it is almost time. for our amazing ardent theater audience to vote, but first here again to help us join the dots

as to why dots just do it for her. Let's hear again from Edmonton's Kathleen McGee. Listen, I'd much rather walk a pattern of polka dots than a straight line when I'm pulled over, okay? It would be more fun for everyone, actually. There's been a lot of crazy talk from my appointment, tonight, but Rob can't help it. He can't help it.

He can't help it. He's a boring man. In closing, Pocodots are better than stripes because unlike stripes, polka dots know how to party. Stripes just stand around, being serious, making sure the triangles aren't spiking the punch.

Not Pocodots. Pocodots show up looking like confetti, beautiful confetti, and ready to have a good time. to have a good time. Connect the dots, people, and let's poker. Thank you. Kathleen McGee. Yeah, bringing it all together at the end there. Asking the audience to poker with her. All right, now here to remind anyone who throws serious shade on stripes that you've crossed a line. Let's hear again from Rob Pugh.

Yep. We have weighed the two testimonies and brought before this most incandescent and brilliant of crowds. Oh, hmm. It's clear that stripes stand tall is the epitome of fashion and timeless elegance. They flatter the wear and exude sophistication. Polka dots are pure dirt. Well, polka dots have a Roershack charm,

sort of a, is it Mickey Mouse or Mama? They lack the class and power of stripes. So let's celebrate the enduring allure of stripes as a superior pattern choice. Honored guests, the choice is clear. When it comes to fashion prowess, leave the polka dots in the 50s and start gliding into the future

on a trail blazed with stripes. Thank you. Rob Hugh. Rob Que. Really, very much. bringing it together there. On behalf of stripes, I've really never heard him this passionate about anything,

to be totally honest with it. All right, art and theater is up to you to decide. Why applause, how many of you loved how Kathleen always circled back to her desire for dots? Kathleen McGee. Okay? Nice love for Kathleen.

And who preferred how Rob fashioned an argument that allowed him to show his true stripes? Rob Pugh! Okay? The audience is spoken. The winner is Rob Pugh, Stripes Over Pocodots. Big hand for Rob Pugh and Kathleen McGee, everybody. Well, that's all for this week.

I'm Steve Patterson saying I don't care if you wear stripes or Pocodots as long as you're a solid person. I'll argue with you again soon, Canada. Good night. The Debaters is created by Richard's side. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Calendar, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson and Graham Clark With continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis, and Gary Jones.

Technical production by James Pirella and Corey Haberstock. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Emily Ferrier, Katie Ellen Humphreys, and David Pride. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts. And thanks to everyone at the Arden Theatre in St. Albert. For more CBC podcasts, go to cBC.ca. slash podcasts.