The Debaters - Virtual Meetings vs. In-Person Meetings & Volunteering

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

We decide whether meeting on Zoom beats brainstorming in the boardroom, plus we debate the virtues of volunteering. Volunteering — should everyone do it? Featuring: Peter Brown, Julie Kim, Maddy Kelly, and Charlie Demers.

Hi, Steve here. You know, one of the best parts about this job is getting to visit fun places, like Newfoundland and Labrador. My family and I go out there every summer for shows that I do, and we like to stay in Airbnbs, because while it's nice to come from away, it's even nicer living like a local. Where people don't fish for compliments, they just fish and say things like, long may your big jib draw, which is nice to hear because I'm very proud of my oversized jib. Honestly, the only thing that could top a fantastic trip out east, as far as I'm concerned, is earning money from our home while we're away by hosting as an Airbnb. Hosting on Airbnb is a practical thing to do,

and you can use the extra money for your next trip to Newfoundland and Labrador and beyond. So give hosting on Airbnb a gander, and if it works out for you, you owe me a nice jigs dinner. That'll make sense once you've been out to Newfoundland and Labrador and beyond. So give hosting on Airbnb a gander. And if it works out for you, you owe me a nice jigs dinner. That'll make sense once you've been out to Newfoundland. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. This is a CBC podcast. Hey Canada, we're not playing around. From North Vancouver, host of the 2025 Invictus Games, it's the Debaters!

The Debaters where comedians fight with facts and funny and this audience picks the winner. Now here's a man who's never a bad sport, Steve... ...Beterson! Hey! Thanks, Graham Clark! Hello, Canada! Welcome back to The Debaters. We are here in Vancouver. Yeah, a delight for its sights, sounds,

and of course, even smells. If you want to find out where to avoid bad smells, there's actually a new app that you can download to report smells from all over the city called Smell Van. True story. This is not to be confused with Van Smell, which describes the aroma inside every hockey parent's vehicle. The app asks you to define the smell and gives you a list of options including skunks, smoke, or rotting eggs. And then it asks, what do you think

is causing the smell? I don't know, probably skunk, smoke, or eggs. I'm not sure. All right, it's time to meet two debaters with a nose for comedy. This comic was prevented from reading any want ads in the paper because that section was classified. It's Edmonton's Peter Brown. Come on out, Peter Brown. One of our favorites back again.

Hello. Hello, Peter. And this comic was caught in two different ways. Come on out, Peter Brown! One of our favorites back again. Hello! Hello, Peter! And this comic was caught in two tornadoes and got the best of both worlds. It's Vancouver's Julie Kim! Julie Kim!

There she is, striding confidently across the stage. To my right. All right, your topic is one that we would like to discuss here in person and also record it. Are virtual meetings better than in-person meetings? Mm, murmur, murmur, the crowd has awoken. Growing up, the meeting I dreaded most was the family meeting. Our parents would sit my brothers and I down and say that we weren't living up to performance expectations.

Dad would start each meeting by reading back the minutes from the previous meeting and say, unless performance improved, he might have to let one of us go. Joke was on him though, because shortly after that, my parents diversified. Sorry, divorced. Anyway, it's time now for a debate that will call this meeting to order. So, whereas they offer more flexibility, are able to include participants from anywhere in the world, and can take place from the comfort of your home. Be it resolved that virtual meetings are superior

to in-person meetings. Peter, you are arguing for this please. You have two minutes. Starting now, Peter Brown. (*bell dings*) (*applause*) Friends, be honest with yourself. Search your soul. Wouldn't you rather be wearing sweatpants

right now? Yes, we all would. In-person meetings are great for devastating the human soul. To go to an in-person meeting, you have to wake up early. You have to have a shower. You have to put on, what are those called, the straight jacket for your legs and groin? Pants. Then you're packed into the stuffy room for the in-person meeting. You're trapped. But in virtual meetings, you have moves. When everybody talks about an email you haven't read, you just open it up in a new window and poof, you're up to speed, baby. When it inevitably gets boring, you can hide your yawn. You make a little pyramid with your hands over your mouth and nose.

It looks like you're going, wow, but you're really going, whoa. Someone asks you a question and you have no idea what the answer is. No problem. You pretend your Wi-Fi is breaking up. That's a great question. I don't know my... Easy, easy. Virtual meetings are fun.

When you log into the room, you can give yourself a nickname. In person, I'm barely a Pete. Online, I can sign into the room as Pedro. The virtual meeting is fully accessible to everyone. You can watch videos in the background. You can judge other people's decor. The temperature is perfect, and the bathroom is right there. Say goodbye to your pants and join me in a virtual meeting.

Pedro. Yeah, Peter, Pedro Brown. You are in the lead so far. Now here to get all up in Peter's face about the importance of the in-person meeting, let's hear from our own, right here in person, Julie Kim. (*bell dings*) (*audience cheers*)

First off, I hate all meetings, okay? Horrible waste of time, survival of the loudest. There are just opportunities for big egos to manspread all over a conference room or a Zoom call. But if we're going to have meetings, let them be in person. With snacks! Yes! Sweet or savory, doesn't matter as long as it tastes free. We all liked virtual meetings for like four months back in the year 2020, the pandemic. Have you heard of it? Yes.

And only because we all thought we were going to die anyways. Now, some of us are still alive, and we still have to suffer. But unlike with masks and vaccines, there were no guidelines for meetings. No policies, no lifting of restrictions. And so they spread. And now it might be too late. They've mutated and they've grown stronger. People now have standing desks.

Do you know those people? Yeah. You can tell who they are because they're always saying things like, I'm at a standing desk. Really? Have you ever been on a call with someone with a treadmill under their standing desk? They're just like, hey everyone, I'm better than you. That's right.

And if I hear one more person say, oh, sorry, That's right. And if I hear one more person say, oh, sorry, I was on mute. Just like last time and every time in the last five years, Carl, you stupid old idiot. It is not that hard. Stop going on mute and just hold your farts in like a normal person. Oh.

Oh. Oh. I want to sit in the corner of a real room with my free chocolate croissant that I never otherwise would eat. And I want to avoid anyone who would want to point out that it's actually called a pa-a-chocolat. And I want to be able to punch them in the face.

And then I can get fired and not have to be in any more meetings. Thank you. Yeah. Julie Kim, it worked up here. Julie is coming up here. Julie is coming out firing. Carl was my grandfather's name, so minus three for that.

All right, debaters, it's time now for the Bare Knuckle Round. We're debating virtual and in-person meetings. So zoom in on your best jokes. And let's get to the Google Meet of the matter. If the audience catches you slacking, they may conference call you on it. Begin making PowerPoints now. Let me just start by saying how much I really enjoyed hearing Julie's arguments. As I was listening, I just thought, oh.

Can I just, I'm going to disagree with one thing you said. You say the snacks taste free, but they're not free. There's a terrible price to pay. You have to suffer through the meeting to get to the snacks the same way I had to suffer through Vancouver traffic to get to North Vancouver today. Aww. You poor baby. One person clapping. Congrats. Listen. Love you, Carl. Thanks, buddy. As the person always in school and work who did all the group projects alone, I'm resentful.

I am resentful. I hate when other people freeload or cheat and those are the same people that like virtual meetings like Peter. What about integrity and self-respect and working hard? How about that? Oh, how dare you? How dare you? Okay.

I'll write you more than 30 people who applauded, whose faces I have memorized. Not only do I have integrity, I will have you know, all nine of the fake identities I set up to do multiple online jobs, they all have integrity too. Alright, that's probably a good place to stop it. It's time now for the firing line. In my hand I have a list of questions on virtual versus in-person meetings brought to you by Shania and Mark. And never the twain shall meet.

When comparing virtual meetings with in-person meetings, Yale researchers found in-person meetings produce substantially more what? Julie. Workplace affairs. Bum, chicka, bum, bum. Yeah. I will give you two points for the sound effect and everyone that had the guts to clap at that, three points.

Peter Brown. In-person meetings produce substantially more 20-minute brawls for the last crawler, and I am undefeated. Bounce, kabow, bow. Two and a half. Yale researchers found that in-person meetings produce substantially more brainwave activity

in the participants Sounds something like a Yale person would say Etiquette expert miss manners says you should never bring what to an in-person meeting Julie as a woman any expectation of being heard or getting credit for her ideas of being heard or getting credit for her ideas. Thank you. Uh-huh. There is sex. There is a big reaction at a certain frequency.

16 points, way to go Julie. Peter. What you should never bring to an in-person meeting is hope. It's the hope that kills you. bring to an in-person meeting is hope. It's the hope that kills you. Ms. Manners said you should never bring snacks to an in-person meeting. Boo, Ms. Manners! That's the firing line, everybody. It's almost time for our Centennial Theatre audience to vote, but first, here once again

in person to promote her in-person preference, let's hear from the very personal Julie Kim. Thank you. So, I'm an Asian woman with multiple academic degrees, and I've been able to play at the same level as tall white men who have qualifications like being tall and white and men. Asians are the least likely to get promoted to executive levels. The only way you could overlook me more in the workplace

is to literally not be able to look at me or mute me. I need to at least be in the same building as the glass ceiling. Okay? That was contrived, but I accept. Listen, if you support virtual meetings, you support the deliberate and systematic removal of access that underrepresented people have to equity

and equality and to a world that blocks the dismantling of the kinds of patriarchy and racism that I don't think a CBC audience would admit to not believing in. Outwardly, in short, a vote for me is a vote for the three P's, progress, peace, and pants. Thank you. Thank you. Julie Kim putting together a very strong final argument. The three P's and Peter, you were not one of them. Now here again to extol the virtues of the virtual,

let's hear again from Peter Brown. If this debate had been virtual, it would have been way more fun. We could have sent each other fun comments in the chat. Why is Julie being so mean to Carl? Or Steve looks great in that hat. I'm confident he'll make a fair ruling. In person, that would seem like sucking up.

My adorable dog Rufus could have slept in the background. Little poofy snores. Oh, come on. But best of all, virtual meetings have hard end times. I could slowly wind down my argument, but oh crap, I only have 10 seconds before the debate ends, I gotta wrap up quick. More sleep jammies, comfy chair, no drivers, no pedestrians, Rover says a good boy,

no weird eye contact, no man spreading, no holding in farts, you gotta go by. Peter Brown! Yeah! Packed a lot into that last ten seconds, didn't he? Very personable in person, and it's time now for our audience to vote. By applause, who thought that Peter exceeded virtually all expectations about virtual meetings? Peter Brown! Alright! Nice support for Peter!

And who partook in Julie's in-person party? Oh, it's a good question. I'm not sure who it was, but I'm sure it was a good question. I'm not sure who it was, but I'm sure it was a good question. I'm not sure who it was, but I'm sure it was a good question. about virtual meetings, Peter Brown. All right, nice support for Peter. And who partook in Julie's in-person parlance and unanimously agreed with her petition? Julie Kim. Wow, I got to give this one to Julie Kim.

Julie Kim in-person meetings are the way to go. Big hand for Julie Kim and Peter Brown, everybody. Hey, debaters listeners. I'll get right to the PowerPoint. We'd love to meet with you every single week. So please hit the follow button on our podcast so you don't miss an episode. And if you already follow us, thank you. In Scarborough, there's this fire behind our eyes. A passion in our bellies. And if you already follow us, thank you. possible with less than anyone could imagine. But it's time to imagine what we can do with more.

Join Scarborough Health Network and together we can turn grit into greatness. Donate at lovescarborough.ca. Hello, I'm Jess Milton, host of the podcast Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe. Join us every Friday for funny, fictional, feel-good family stories about Dave, his wife Morley, and their kids Sam and Stephanie. And for behind the scenes stories about what it's like to live life out on the road, on a tour bus, living out of a suitcase, traveling across Canada. New episodes every Friday. Subscribe for free wherever you get your podcasts. Are you ready to meet your next pair of debaters? Listen to that Canada!

This comic almost bought a sheep but realized she was getting fleeced. It's Vancouver's Maddie Kelly. Come on out Maddie! Maddie Kelly! One of our favorites. There she is, taking her place to my left. And this comic once pitched a show about the horrors of stolen personal data called Tales from the Encrypt. It's Vancouver's Charlie Demers! Bring out Charlie!

There he is! Charlie, one of our favorites. Matty, another. Debaters, your topic is one that we'd like you to give some time to. Volunteering. Should we all do it? This topic is dear to me because for a few years now, my daughter Scarlett has volunteered her time to help others. She runs a hot chocolate stand in the winter and

donates all the money to our local food bank. True story. And this past year, she also asked that we donate her Christmas presents to those in need. True. And it sets a great example for her younger sister, Nora, who selflessly volunteered to receive those Christmas presents. All true. And I'm honestly proud of both of them. Time now for a debate that we hope will bring a volunteer to

your eyes. So, whereas it's a great way to express gratitude, support a good cause, and give back to your community, be it resolved that everyone should volunteer. Maddie, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes. Starting now, Maddie Kelly. Thank you. This is my weirdest debate yet. I have to defend volunteering. This is an easy one. Volunteering is good. Duh.

In this day and age, people spend up to four hours a day on their phone. Yeah, and we're going to get on the radio, on national radio, and dissuade them from volunteering? They're already volunteering as content creators for Meta and Facebook. (*Applause*) I recently helped garden at an old folks' home.

For my volunteering task, I was told to dig a hole. I'm not good at digging holes. (*Laughter*) The only people that would be worse at digging the holes would be the actual old folks themselves. But I did it. I know. That's crazy. I have never felt better about myself in my life.

Move over, Mother Teresa. I recently dug a hole in the ground on a Saturday. But the reason we should not be paid to volunteer is that it would take away its major incentive, the huge ego boost. Volunteering makes you feel amazing. And if you drop in conversation, people are really impressed. So that's one thing you can do.

But the point is, and this will be my last point, volunteer. It is the most selfish thing you can do. Yep. That's it. Maddie Kelly. Now, here to tell us why he insists that volunteering is something you couldn't pay him to do, it's Charlie Demeers. Thank you. Though it is always a great joy to be on the debaters, I want to point out that I don't appear for free out of the goodness of my heart, but for agreed-upon union rates compensated by the taxpayer. If we all volunteered for the CBC,

then Pierre Poliev would have nothing to be angry about. Now, call me old-fashioned, but making Pierre Poliev angry is reason enough for me. Our secular society has stripped us of any sense of belonging to the holy or the transcendent, and yet somehow still expects people to give altruistically of their time and effort. It's the worst of both worlds. No heaven, but somehow you still have to do bake sales. And if bake sales feels like a gendered example, that's because most of the time

volunteer is a three syllablesyllable word somehow spelled M-O-M. You hear me, ladies. still exists at the time of this taping. Women are consistently more likely than men to volunteer, although maybe that's because it's easier to forgo 72% of what you would be getting paid. I think you'll find actually that's a feminist joke. It's not a pro gender wage gap joke, obviously. We'll talk after the show. And the thing is, obviously volunteers

don't care much about money. One, because they're volunteers, but two, because statistically speaking, they've already got money. In Canada, households earning over $120,000 a year are much more likely, statistically, to volunteer than households earning under $20,000, which, let's be honest, we're on the North Shore. You guys didn't even know incomes went that low. LAUGHTER In the United States, those with graduate degrees

are overwhelmingly more likely to volunteer than those with high school diplomas, which means that around volunteers, you run a constant risk of hearing about Michelle Foucault. That joke was just for me and that lady. Volunteering is like cilantro. It's fine as a garnish, but it's not for everybody. Thank you. All right.

Charlie DeVere. It's time now for the bare-knuckle round. We're debating volunteering. This is a magnanimous win situation. So approach it in a united way and don't red cross any lines because big brothers may be watching. It's time to altruist stick it to your opponent now.

I just step back for a second because you have said, like, oh, how can you argue against volunteering? The resolution is everyone should volunteer. I'm not saying nobody should volunteer. I'm not saying volunteering is bad. I'm saying not everybody should volunteer. Some people do enough. Uh... Some of us work really hard. Not everybody should volunteer. Some people do enough.

Uh... Some of us work really hard. I hear guilt. Ha! So, Kelly, tell me, what is your volunteering? You dug the hole, I understand. My hole? Huge hole. A huge hole.

So why did they need this hole? Can I just clear that up as well? Are you sure that they needed a hole? Or is this something you were given because... No. You look at these wrists and you think we gotta make sure this girl digs a hole? No.

That's a good place to stop the bear and not go around. We are debating whether everyone should volunteer and Charlie is debating against that. That's all you need to know really. And Maddie is pro-women. Yes. It's time now for the firing line. In my hand I have a list of questions on volunteering brought to you by the lawyers representing Irish rock band, U2. All their work is pro bono. All of it.

All every single. According to the Mayo Clinic. Is somebody going to explain who U2 is? No, no, no. Maddie knows. I'm 40. According to the Mayo Clinic... Is somebody going to explain who you two is? No, no, no. Maddie knows. I'm 40. I'm trying to get on even playing field with y'all, you know?

I'm in my mid-40s. According to the Mayo Clinic, people who volunteer report better physical health than non-volunteers as well as lower rates of what? Charlie. Uh, hourly pay. Ha ha ha! Good point. One point. Maddie Kelly.

Rescindivism. Ha ha ha! When you are convicted of a crime again is what that word means. Ha ha ha! I learned that in my early 40s. Ha ha ha! I will give you two points for saying the word I learned that in my early 40s. I will give you two points for saying the word rescindivism correctly.

The actual answer, people who volunteer report better physical health than non-volunteers as well as lower rates of depression and anxiety. So maybe I should give it a shot. Yeah, Charlie, this could be a real eye-opener. The Stanford Center for Longevity says the three most common reasons people say they don't volunteer are that they don't have time, that the work isn't interesting to them, and what else? Maddie.

They're bad, rotten to the core. That's a good, that is thunderous applause. Two points. Charlie? They didn't live long enough. If you'll remember, it was the Stanford Center for Longevity. Ah. Hence my joke about longevity. Normally I would say don't over-explain, but that was the right instinct. The answer, they don't have time, the work isn't interesting to them, and because no

one asked them to volunteer, because no one asked. And those who do volunteer a lot know that you don't do it just because you're asked, you just do it. The city of Vancouver has an online quiz to help match you with volunteer opportunities that suit your personality by asking how social you are, what issues are close to your heart, and what else? Maddie? If you're interested in going to heaven.

Which Charlie doesn't believe in, I think, from earlier. Boo! We've started to provide our own audience reactions. And that's how you know we're all getting a little punchy up here when we're doing different voices of audience members. And I think he sucks us too. That was one official point for Maddie Kelly from herself.

Charlie? Can you please repeat the question, Stephen? Yeah. The city of Vancouver has an online quiz to help match you with volunteer opportunities that suit your personality by asking how social you are, what issues are close to your heart, and what else?

Charlie. How you could possibly have covered rent and still have time for this. All right. That speaks to the Vancouver faithful. The actual answer is how physically active you like to be. And that's the firing line, everybody. All right.

It is almost time for our Centennial Theatre audience to vote. But first, here to tell us why, when it comes to volunteering, he does have misgivings and doesn't misgiving. It's Charlie Demers. Thank you, Steve. In our stripped down neoliberal society, volunteering is almost always an alibi for cutbacks and austerity. When a principal tells you, at our school,

parents are an integral part of the learning community... audience laughter What they're actually saying is, our gym teacher is also the music teacher. Let's not forget what volunteering robs us of on the consumer side. Our right to complain. If the good or service you're being provided with is coming from some gentle, generous do-gooder, you can't say anything if it sucks.

volunteer. Volunteering is like Bitcoin. If some people want to do it around the edges of the economy because of their personal beliefs, okay, but don't try to make everybody. Thank you. Charlie Demers with some very passionate, good points.

It makes sense when he says it. Thank you, Charlie. Now, here to tell us why she imagines herself as the Queen of Donation who proudly wears a Voluntierra, it's Maddie Kelly. Listen, volunteering is an important thing. I can't believe that this is going to be close. It's not replaceable by other things.

It's not replaceable by donating to charity, which some of you may think is getting you out of it. As we all know, charities use your money to pay people and harass you for more money. Before you vote on this debate, please ask yourself, should the contributions of women be important in society? (*Laughter*) Should less prepared women in comedy be given more?

Yes, sometimes. (*Laughter*) Who should dig the holes for our old folks' homes' gardens? And then take a look in the mirror, because it was you the whole time. That's the end. (*Applause*) Mattie Kelly. All right.

Debaters, you've given us a lot to think about, and it's time for this audience to vote. By applause, how many of you will donate your clapping freely and openly to Mattie, and ask for nothing in return? Mattie Kelly. All right. A lot of love for Maddie. And who amongst you, like Charlie,

has no time for the idea of volunteering? Charlie Demers. All right. The audience has spoken. It's out of character for CBC, but they have voted for Charlie and against volunteering. Good work, everyone. The winner is Charlie DeBeers.

Big hand for Charlie and Maddie. Well, that's all for this week. I'm Steve Patterson saying thanks for taking the time to voluntarily listen to us. I sure hope it pays off someday. I'll argue with you again soon, Canada. Good night! Production by James Carella and Eric Penkratz. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphrey's

Emily Ferrier and David Pride. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts. And thanks to everyone at the Centennial Theater in North Vancouver. For more CBC podcasts, go to cbc.ca slash podcasts.