The Debaters - Weekend laughs from Because News

Episode Date: February 21, 2026

Because News is Canada's funniest news quiz. Every week, host Gavin Crawford quizzes comedians and celebrities about the headlines.This week’s guests include Brandon Ash Mohammed, Leslie Seiler, and Emma Hunter. They’re talking about why health-conscious men are eating boy kibble, if Canadian curlers are the real villains at the Olympics, if ‘Janice’ is our best chance at negotiating with the US, and dive into the new awkward controversy that is shocking the ski jumping world.Find and follow to Because News wherever you get your podcasts, and here: https://link.mgln.ai/BNxTD

This program is brought to you in part by Specsavers. Every day, your eyes go through a lot. Squinting at screens, driving into the bright sun, reading in dim light, even late-night drives. That's why regular eye exams are so important. At Specsavers, every standard eye exam includes an advanced OCT 3D eye scan, technology that helps independent optometrists detect eye and health conditions at their earliest stages. Take care of your eyes. Book your eye exam at Specsavers today from just $99, including an OCT scan.

Book at Spexavers.cavers.cavers.com. I exams are provided by independent optometrists. Prices may vary by location. Visit specksavers.coma to learn more. This is a CBC podcast. Hi there, Steve Patterson here. We have something special for you today from our friends over at Because News, Canada's funniest news, where every week, my buddy, host Gavin Crawford, quizzes comedians and celebrities on the headlines. Just like the real news, Because News, moves fast. So we didn't even know the topics when I recorded this. So if you like your news, new, this is the podcast for you. This week's guests include Brandon Ash Muhammad as seen on the hit Heated Rivalry,

Leslie Seiler, who's back after moving home from the U.S., so she's probably got a lot to say, and the hilarious Emma Hunter, whose joke-per-per-minute ratio is off the charts. Have a listen here. With Gavin Crawford. I'm Gavin Crawford, and welcome to Because News, Canada's funniest news quiz. It is the year of the year of the first. the fire horse, so saddle up and let's meet this week's panel.

He just finished working out with Kid Rock and R.FK Jr., and boy, does he need a vaccine. It's the super fit, Brandon Ash Muhammad. In the middle chair, she was going to attend Trump's Board of Peace meeting until she realized she wasn't actually bored of peace.

It's the ever hopeful Leslie Seiler. And finally, much like Emerald Fennell, she has also never read Wuthering Heights, the blissfully illicit. All right, Emma Hunter. All right, panel, are you ready to make some games out of the news? Yes.

Let's do it. Yes. All right. Let's get started. Here we go. I don't know if you're aware of this panel, but the 26th Winter Olympics are wrapping up, and there have been more twist and turns than a bobsled track. So let's take a look back at the Olympic Games with a round.

I call in case you missed it. First off, Canada's curling teams were making headlines, but not for the reasons they may have hoped. One headline from the Globe and Mail read, Canada has gone full villain in curling. How have our curlers gone full villain? Instead of curling with a rock, they curled with a baby. Oh, that's bad.

They shouldn't do that. I know. No, that is not good. Controversial. Yeah. That would be full villain. Incorrect. Leslie? I know this one.

They are the ones who stole all the condoms from the athletes' village. Emma? Well, I saw this live, actually, if I may. So here's what happened. So the Swedish gentleman said to our Canadian gentleman, he said, yo-hoo, hello. I think you did the cheaty. And then we said,

You, Oscar, okay, but no, I didn't. And I loved it. You are correct for the point. They were accused of cheating, and then they swore. Yes, they did. The headline from the Vancouver Daily Hive, Canada's potty-mouthed Olympic curlers warned about swearing so much. Potty-mouthed is amazing.

Yeah. Those potty-mouthed Canadians. Meanwhile, America's like, look at the Epstein fun. Yeah, or no, America's more like, don't. Yeah. You know what I loved about that was how passive-aggressive the Swedish guy was? I almost thought he was Canadian. He was so passive-aggressive.

Right? He was just like, oh, are we touching rocks now? And I thought black was a slimming color. Like, he was just... He was so passively... Telling us, we cheated. Here's a clip from CBC Sports. You can...

You haven't done it once? I haven't done it once. Touching the rock. Who's doing it? How about you walking around on my peel and the last day and dancing around the house here? How about that? Come on, Oscar.

Just... I showed you a video. I don't give a shit. Yes! That was very real house. what. It was. I was like, let me show you the video. Roll the tape. And then also everyone just took that and made a thousand

memes of the little finger pointing in that. My favorite was him pushing some of the figure skaters when they fell. My favorite is just the finger pushing Matt Jenneru over to the liberals. Sliding across the aisle. Swearing at the Olympics a proud part of our Canadian heritage.

Members of both The men's and women's curling team have been accused of double touching. What is double touching? I think it's how you get pregnant, I think. Fun. Leslie, what's double-toucher? Well, it's when you go to Tim Hortons and you've got to double-double, but they don't give you a stir stick, so you've got to put your finger in twice.

Double-touching. Brandon, do you know what double-tunching is? Isn't it when it's like, okay, they push the rock, and then it has to cross, like, a certain line, and that's when they touch it again, and that's double-touching or something? You're correct. Okay. Wow.

Okay. It is, when you, after you let go of the handle, if you touch the granite of the rock before it goes across the hog line. The hog line. So are you not allowed to touch he at allie? Because he did, he did do, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to. You saw the video. But I saw the video, but I, is this, is there not, is it just release and end? It is.

This is not allowedy. No, I have nothing else to say. No further questions, your honor. But I have on good authority from, from a man I know well, my husband, he's, he's not, he He knows curling. And he's like, in Canada, we tend to, when you let the rock go, they tend to do, like, hand gestures. Like, they will still point in the same direction.

And not all countries do that. So we're not always touching the rock. It's just that we're keeping our bodies in straight. You know what I'm saying? I think you're saying you have a husband who double touches. Yeah. Yes. All right.

In another, in case you missed it, a Norwegian athlete made a startling confession after winning bronze in the bi-athlething. panel what did he fess up to in his post-event interview he is the one who took all the condoms from the athlete's village he is it's it I think it might be connected yeah it's possibly true

uh Brandon he was also double touch it you're gonna get the point for that one he basically admitted uh well I'll let him say it via translator here is what he said at the finish line via a translator six months ago I met the the love of my life, the world's most beautiful, wonderful person in the world.

Three months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life and cheated on her. And it's been the worst week of my life. I'm just Australian translator. The translator is probably like, am I doing this correctly? Do I actually not know Norwegian? That's not the way he's saying this, is it? No way. Like, what do you even make of that?

You can't, you cannot complain about. your ex to a reporter that you don't know at the Olympic Games, okay? And then, and then you cannot then cry about it. This is not, no, this is not husband material, unless he got the gold. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. That's what I was going to say. I mean, he only got a bronze, so why are we even, I mean, if he was trying to win her back, he should have focused on winning the gold. Yeah. Yeah. A little more Shudy the gunny. Yeah. I don't know. I kind of feel like, it would be like a humiliation ritual, but for them, so I would

kind of take them back and then I would find out who their rival was and then I would get with the rival and then I would take a photo of it and then I would send it to him and then I'd be like bye deuses checkmates yeah I mean he said in a follow-up interview he wanted to try everything he could to get her back I also feel bad for her her her name is sterla I looked it up and I bet she's like girl I'm in HR I don't want this get me out of the press like I feel bad for her everybody's like so are you gonna are you good if you don't mind you know And imagine if you only dated someone for six months and already there's this much drama. Red flag!

No, this guy's Red Flag City. It was six months ago he met her and then three months in he cheated. I was like, oh, goodbye. No. Then cried. Mm-mm. Uh-uh. No.

There have been a number of unfortunate mishaps at this Olympics, but one stands above the rest. I don't think you could have, but in case you missed it, can you tell me who had the worst experience at this year's Winter Olympics? The dog. Yeah, the dog that was on the, on the, on the, on the, on the, because he didn't get anything for crossing the line first. Oh, yeah, there was a, there was a dog named Nasgul, I think, that ran on the, he was running along the cross-country track. He ran across the finish line with the, yeah, and he went across like at the same time as a skier and he set off the camera, you know, the finish line cam. And yeah, this port, but what does he get? Nothing. I don't even think he got a treat.

I bet the dog's owner was like, he's totally friendly. It's so fine. Don't worry about it. That's totally dog people. Your dog is literally ruining the Olympics. No, he's a cutie on the inside. Yeah, no, I wouldn't worry about it. I thought it was like the worst moment was there was that lady and then she fell and then they put her back together with titanium. Oh, yes.

And then she was like, you know what? I'm going to go back for one more. And then fell again and they had to airlift her. That was Lindsay Vaughn. And that was, yeah, that was a hard moment. But not quite as hard. as who I'm thinking of. Oh, was it that sober

Gary Busey looking guy? You know, the skater, he looks like a sober Gary Bucci or maybe a young Jake Bucy. Oh, yeah. You're right. He does look like sober Gary Bucy. You're going to get the point for young Gary Bucy. It was American figure skater, Ilya Malinanin.

The headline from the Los Angeles Times is, Disaster Strikes Ilya Malin in the most shocking moment of, Winter Olympics so far. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. The Friday the 13th skate? Yeah. See, yes, indeed. Yes. And I, truthfully, I have not, I didn't know anything about him, but he starts. And of course, the announcers are so dramatic. They're like, and now we watch as the quad god or the quad lord or whatever they're calling it takes to the

ice. And then he fell almost immediately. And then he just couldn't get it back. And of course, like the shock and awe. Oh, one of the announcers was killing me. She was like, she was like, I am speechless. It was just, but I was like, well, you're not, because you're still talking. But it was so, like... Well, the audience, like, still erupted into huge cheers at the end because they were all just like, good, dry.

It was... I mean, to his credit, he did stick around, and he will skate again on Saturday at the gala. What will he skate to? Well, his first skate that I saw was... It was very impressive, but it was his own voice. Did you notice that?

It's not very Canadian. Anyway, it's very charming. So his own voice layered over music being like, Be yourself. You are great and a lovely guy. So maybe this will be the same type of sort of energy, but in a hindsight moment, like, you are not a loser.

You have great hair. If he doesn't, do it to Chumba Wumpa's tub thumping, that's a huge missed opportunity. That's the right choice. Yes, yes. And for those of you who don't know, we all sing it together. Here we go. I get knocked down. But I get up again. Yeah.

You're never going to get me down. Right? Yeah. I'm too gay to go any further than the first two lines. I think it's just that. You're like, Pissing the night away. Well, that's where we come. Yeah. Pissing the night away. But they're going to change it.

They're going to. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, they're going to be the shades of pissing the gold away. Yes, that's it. Oh, good times making fun of that poor kid. Yeah. Poor guy.

Well, other than those, have you had any favorite moments of the Olympics? Oh, my God. Every single time I would turn it on and see a sport I had never even heard of was my favorite moment. It's like every sport in the Winter Olympics was created by an alien trying to. to pretend they're a human. Like, yes, we slide and ski and climb and ski and slide again. Then we go upstairs. Then we ski downhill.

It's called mooshalusion. And you're like, okay, I guess that's a sport. Like, honestly. We saw one today. They cross-country ski up a hill, like, through a neighborhood. It was like through someone's backyard. And then they took off through skis, and then they went upstairs, and then they put skis on again.

But then they ski down the hill, and then a dog runs across their path. And that is actually called schemo. Skemo. Honestly, raise your hand if you've ever heard of Schemo before. See? No hands. No hands.

Any favorites, Brandon? I really liked when it was Piper and Paul and they did the ice dance. They honestly had the best one and they got bronze. Yeah. Robbed. Rob, but they're amazing. I liked when the American bobsleders

knocked each other out of the sled right at the beginning of the course. Yes, that was awesome. It was rich. It was very late. You're like, how does this happen? Isn't that all? you train for? It's like, there's nothing further to get on the sled.

That's the end of the sport. Yeah, that you just slide home. Then you're just riding. You know what? It's true. I had this thought and I don't mean to diminish because I know it's extreme. But there was this part of me that's like, you know, it's been a tough couple decades. You have to audition. You have to go to record with the self-tape. And then you have to go in and they have to shoot the show and sometimes are 15 hours. And you have to leave your country sometimes. And sometimes like, if I just did skeleton, I could just lie down.

And I know danger, danger. But sometimes I think if I could just be this person, you know, like that's what a career. Yeah. Anyway, I'm happy to be here. That's what they say. They're like, how did you get into skeleton? Oh, three children. Yeah.

Exactly. I needed a rest that might kill me. The imminent death is part of it. All right. One final. in case you missed it, apparently ski jumpers have found a new way to enhance their performance. What are the sneaky ski jumpers up to?

Expanding their weaners. The headline from the Toronto Star is why penis doping is the growing scandal of the 2026 Olympics. But why is it? How does that make it better? I know for real. It's when you inject your penis or whatever you want. to call it with hyaluronic acid, which I use on my face all the time because the doctor told me to

because it would make me look good. But they put it into the little winky and then it blows it up so that when they get measured for the costume, it appears that their member is much larger than it is. Then the member shrinks down after the acid, I guess, I don't know, goes into your brain. I don't know what happens then. But then the costumes creates a pouch, which when you're jumping gives you sort of like a human wind sock and it can propel. I tell you, I think up to six meters further. I didn't look this up because of all the penis content. Okay?

You get massive points for that. Yeah. Description. It is true. Okay. Yes, they inject their genitals with hyleronic acid. Once it's returned to normal size, the extra fabric in their suits translates up to an extra 5.8 meters in the length of their junk.

Jump. The length of their jump. Because News with Gavin Crawford. I am Gavin Crawford. And this is Because News with Brandon Ash Muhammad, Emma Hunter and Leslie Silers. This program is brought to you in part by Speck Savers. Every day, your eyes go through a lot. Squinting at screens, driving into the bright sun, reading in dim light,

even late-night drives. That's why regular eye exams are so important. At Specsavers, every standard eye exam includes an advanced OCT 3D eye scan, technology that helps independent optometrists detect eye and health conditions at their earliest stages. Take care of your eyes. Book your eye exam at at Specsavers today from just $99, including an OCT scan. Book at Spexsavers.cavers.cai.a. Eye exams are provided by independent optometrists. Prices may vary by location. Visit Spexsavers.ca.ca.a. to learn more. Hi, listeners ears. Steve here. I'd like to talk to your eyes for a minute, please. Eyes? I want you to know that I see you, and I know that every day you go through a lot. Like squinting at screens or squinting in the bright sun. Anyway, regular eye exams are very important,

and that's why at Specsavers, eye exams include an advanced OCT 3D eye scan, technology that helps detect eye and health conditions at early stages. So take care of yourself, eyes, and book yourself an eye exam at specksavers.caid today from just $99, including your OCT scan. Now, to remind your ears of what I just said to your eyes, here's my best fast announcer voice. Book an eye exam with an OCT scan from $99 at specksavers.cavers.cavers.com.caps are provided by independent optometrists. Prices may vary by location. Visit specksavers.cai to learn more. Hey, pretty good, fast talking, Steve. Thanks, normal talking, Steve. You were good, too. Panel, after Disney's recent one-off special, everyone is excited by the possibility of a full Muppet Show reboot.

So let's join in the fun with this week's News Clue. Have a listen to this Muppet Show sketch and be ready, if you will, to quiz. Excuse me, Mr. President. The new negotiator is here. What? Oh, yes, of course. Send them in. Like, wow, I'm really so thrilled to be here in the White House.

The vibes in this place are like totally off though. Who is this weirdo? Like, really? I'm Janice, the new negotiator, and you like really need to chill. Why don't we do some mantra work? Like, just breathe in and totally repeat after me. Kusma, umskah, kusma. Kusma.

I will not be doing that. my God, like Mark was totally right. You're like for sure totally lame. All right. This can only mean one thing. Are we getting a new Toronto Law and Order Special Muppets Unit? Oh. If only. So you heard the news clue. I channeled Janice from the Muppet Show. Can you tell me the Canadian news story buried in that Muppety clue? Well, okay. So there are three main universal Januses. You have Janus Joplin. Okay. So I don't think it is anything. with her. You have Janice Dickinson, a sort of older, scarier model lady who yells a lot.

And then you have Janice Soprano, sister of Tony Soprano. Very self-serving, sneaky. Watch out for her. Is it something to do with one of them? It is not, Leslie. I believe it is about there's a new negotiator, right,

that they appointed, and I believe her name is Janus. I'm going to go out on a limb. The headline from the Winnipeg's son is Janice Sharette, takes over as Canada's chief negotiator. What will Janice Charette be negotiating on behalf of Canada?

Justice Gordyhow Bridge thing, it's going to take her at least three more years. That's her entire job. Get the bridge open. Emma. No, I know what this is. So the whole purpose for this position is so that she can negotiate

formally legalizing F-bombs in curling. This is so good. Brandon? I think she is negotiating like fun things, like trade. She's saying, you know, tit for tat America. Tariffs, terrible.

I'm Janice. She'll be negotiating the free trade agreement with the U.S. and Mexico. Can you tell me one of the former jobs that she had that makes her the perfect person to negotiate with Trump? Babysitter. Yeah.

Or I think it was it, she was a camp counselor. So she just, she goes, Donald. Hey, are we having fun yet? I can't hear you. I said, are we having fun yet? It is not, Brandon, what were her former job?

Wasn't she a ghostwriter for Cardi B? Yeah. Yeah, she wrote WAP. It's so good. The writer of Wop. Twice, she has been the clerk of the Privy Council, which is the highest non-political job in Ottawa. She was also the High Commissioner to the UK

during Brexit. She's been in some, you know... Tense situations? Exactly. Both CTV News and CBC talked to former politicians about her reputation, and they each used a different

three-word phrase to describe her. What three words scream Janice? Emma. Janice, not Janet. What three words? I'm going to go with... Winter is coming. Ah, that's good.

That would be great if that was our trade slogan. I think it would be great. I know, I know. Brandon. Beauty. Booty. And brute force. All good guesses.

She was described respectively as steady as stone, tough as nails, and country first Canadian. Okay, this is all good. Janice Shorette has been working in Ottawa for almost 40 years, but has rarely been in the headlily. until 2022 during the late stages of the pandemic when she did something that thrust her name into the spotlight.

Oh, 2022. Did she tell Will Smith to slap Chris Rock? She was, in fact, the person who recommended the government invoked the Emergencies Act to clear the freedom convoy from the streets of Ottawa. Oh. That's right. Hock twice for Janice. Yeah. Janice. Weird, not a lot of convoy people here at the CBC. Does that give you hope for her success with the Trump regime?

Listen, I have to, okay, quick rant. Yeah. Here's the deal. I think that negotiating with Trump is truly like negotiating with the Joker. I think that he wants to see the world burn. And in sincerity, I think there's only two things that he truly wants, and that's to enrich himself and his family and to stay out of jail. I think those are his two primary purposes for his second presidency.

So if that is the key, case, like he has no actual vision. He doesn't care what happens to America in the future, only what happens to himself. So to negotiate with the mag, you know, with the psychotic head of a very evil and dangerous snake, if you will, I think the only way to negotiate is to negotiate around the snake completely. So it gives me, I understand she still has to negotiate with them, but I think what gives me hope is all the other things that Canada is doing to basically the whole purpose, I believe, is to remove ourselves so we're not so dependent on the United States. And I I think that in the long run is the way to go.

That's the... Amen. Well said, Tyler. Amen. Yeah. I mean, we keep going around in circles, but it really does seem like the whole purpose of America right now

is just pay us or will burn down your store. Yeah. Yeah. And so we're like, I don't know where you go from there. Maybe Janice does. Let's hope she does. I feel good about Janus. While Janice works her magic south of the border,

Mark Carney has been busy up here. This week he unveiled Canada's new defense strategy. Panel, what is our new plan? Hyde. Brandon, what is our new plan? A wall of geese. A wall a geese.

I mean, I wouldn't go through it. Yeah. I'll never see a coming. Well, attack birds aren't in any of our new defense plans yet. Which is a shame. That's a shame. The headline from global news is Carney unveils

by Canadian defense plan. According to the Prime Minister, 75 cents of every defense dollar we spend goes to the U.S. and, quote, that's not smart. So, the new strategy is to invest domestically. Carney said the government will enter into strategic partnerships with select Canadian companies.

Knowing that, what defense collabs would you like to see? Hudson's bayonets. My goodness. With shillet Army knife. Yes. Yes. Give them a little special stars. Via rail guns.

The BMO blow gun. Just tanks and toaks. Tanks and toots. Very good answers. I would have also accepted lush actual bath bombs. Because News. With Gavin Crawford. The funniest news quiz.

You know, there's not many things you can count on in this world, but one thing you can is that the internet will take something we've always done and give it a new name. It seems like just yesterday we took snack plates and called it Girl Dinner. Well, sorry, Girl Dinner. Time's up. Oh. Looks like the boys are back in town. Right. Can you tell me for a point, what is the boy name for Girl Dinner?

Is it Wiener-Diener? Who's bringing the hyluronic acids, lads? It is not weiner-deener. But I wish it was. The headline from the New York Times reads, Move over, girl dinner. Boy kibble has arrived. No, it is not.

See, of course they would do that. That's gross. What are you doing? The article goes on to say it's an easy to prepare bowl of slop that even a dog would love. Knowing that, how do you think you make

Boy Kibble. My brother is straight. And I would always see him eat the same thing every day. It would be ground beef. He would cook it to it was burnt, basically. Then he would kind of boil a sweet potato, then put it in the oven, burn that too. Yeah, yeah. Mix it together and then put on fat-free mayonnaise.

Oh, my God. And then mix it together and eat that. And that has all the macaro. Oh my god. So I think that is Boykibble. You are very close. Okay. No way.

A protein powder probably in there too. That could be considered Boykibble. It's basically rice and vegetables in a single pan topped with a protein. It's Panda Express. I mean, we just call it hamburger helper, but... If eating something that looks like dog food every day sounds depressing, you can mix it up by adding a special sauce.

What sauce? do they suggest to break up the monotony of boy kibble? Saracha. Yeah, it's hot sauce. They're boys. It's the only sauce they know. Are we sure it's not that new pickle mayo everyone's talking about? And by everyone I mean me?

There's a pickle-flavored mayonnaise. If you haven't had it yet, honestly. Well, it's a health thing. They want to eat healthy. So the sauce that apparently you can mix it up with various yogurt-based sauces. Oh, my God. It's giving your brother, Brandon, right? I told you.

I told you, Justin. All right, well, let's move on from piles of slop for a moment. Speaking of trends that are coming back in style, there's a new kind of burping that's been making the headlines. A practice known as house burping is gaining traction. What is house burping? Stuxden or whatever it's called. It's in Germany?

Yeah. You open all the windows for like 10 minutes, you let the new air in, and then you're like exchanging the air, air exchange, and you close all the windows and you say, yeah. Has to, I have to, I. My sister, she has brown eyes and brown hair, and you have to open the Heineken's

to let all the Bratwurst out of the house. It gets new air in. That was real German. It's the only two sentences I know. I said, do you have a sister and I have brown hair? Okay. Yeah, it's good, yeah.

I loved it. Now that we're done, Emma's German lessons. Thank you. Brandon Ash, Mohamed, you are correct to the point. It is opening the windows multiple times a day to air out your home regardless of the weather. There is a good reason why we should all be burping our houses.

Why should we burp our house? Is it to prove dominance over the other houses? I mean, I have three sons, so it's like I live in a jock strap. It's like, that's my house. So if I don't open the windows, do you know what I'm saying? You have to open the window sometimes, even in the winter,

because you've got to get the jock out of there. Yeah, you're basically correct. It's for fumes. It's a simple way to cut down on air pollution from furniture, paint, cleaning products, and your three boys. Wait a second. Yes, no, that's correct. Yeah, it's good. We have to worry about pollution from our furniture and carpets and stuff, too?

Like, everything gives us cancer. Our carpets are, like, this is preposterous. No, but, Leslie, you want to eat mayonnaise that's infused with pickles stuff. I do, and it's so much. Stop manage with that. And you know what I'm sitting. You're not. And let me tell you this, there's a whole collection.

Garlic. There's the pickle. See, so the furniture is not your problem. There's something called mayo chop, which is mayonnaise and ketchup mixed together. So. All right. Finally, in new lingo for old activities,

uh, Gen Z has rebranded dating and come up with something known as a choremance. What is a choremance? Chor mans. Yeah. Chor mansing. Oh, God.

Isn't Chormanx just marriage? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. That's it. That isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it trans? No, it's a dating trend, choremancing.

Oh, is it like a sub-dom thing? So you go like, you come over here and you clean my toilet. And then you watch them do it. And if they do a good job, you marry them. Ooh. No. Brandon, any idea? Is it just like people just doing regular chores and being like, ooh, are we a match?

Let's see how you do chores. You do it this way? I like you. Yes, that is correct. Okay. Okay. Brandon has wrong, I'm going to win.

I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea. The cosmopolitan headline reads, Chormance is the new dating trend making everyday errands feel romantic. What? Yeah. It's when a couple turns errands into dates.

According to the article, what errand in particular makes a good chormance? I hate this. This is for people who are newly dating. This is not for us. No, I don't want to go to the Grinery Store. There is no greater hell then, and I love

my husband so much. He's in the audience tonight, and he knows I prefer to grocery shop alone. Like, I would rather, like, I want to, I want to get my, I'm a psycho, I want to get my coffee, I want to lean on the cart for two hours. I want to read mayonnaise ingredients. But that's the whole point.

But he wants to take a list and be in and out in five minutes. Yeah, that's why it's like do you got to see it? Don't you feel like it's important to know how the other person shops in a grocery store before you fully commit? Not if you leave him at home. No, they bring that. Exactly.

My boyfriend knows that I love going to the grocery store. So if I'm ever in a bad mood, he'll be like, surprise. And then he'll, like, drive to, like, a random grocery store in Mississauga. And be like, do your thing. But does he go in with you? Yes. Ooh, that's commitment. Look at that weird pomegranate juice, like, Cantonese.

Yeah. Yeah, because I'm, like, the full opposite of Leslie. because I just like to go and get the thing I need and then go to the checkout and Kyle needs to start at the fruit and go up and down every aisle. Even if all we need is coffee. He still has to visit every aisle

just in case there's something that we might need. What if there's something new? New products are coming out every day. Yes. I was like, oh, look at this ice cream. It's vanilla ice cream, but it's Filipino. Yes. Yeah. Some people go shopping, and I just go getting. Somehow, that means we have reached the end of another exciting because news.

The winner this week is Brandon Ashmohamed. Congratulations, Brandon. You have the honor of reading our credits. Now I'm off to my basket weaving class. Thanks for the sweet idea, Doug Ford. We'll see you next week. Why? Because you.

Thank you so much for being with us here in the studio. Give it up for Brandon Ashmohamed. Leslie Seiler. Bonjour, Canada. This is Brandon Ash Muhammad, winner of Because News. Congratulations to my runners-up, Leslie Seiler, and Emma Hunter.

Because News is written and produced by Elizabeth Bowie, David Carroll, Gavin Crawford, Phil Lung, and Jess Klamowski. This week, they had helped from Jan Karawanna and Jenna O'Connor. Rounding out the team, Aaron Conway, Bronwyn Page,

Diana Markulin, Jonathan Rueda, and our recording engineer, Dr. Dr. All right, that was this week's episode of Because News. New episodes drop every Friday. Just search for Because News wherever you get your podcasts and be sure to follow the feed so you don't miss a single episode. For more CBC podcasts, go to cbc.ca.ca slash podcasts.