The Debrief - All The Rumours Are True?!

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! This week we are talking all things RUMOURS. Do we believe them? Have you ever had a rumour spread about you? How do you get through a rumour unscathed, this is the episode for you! As always email [e-mail] with any debriefs or dilemmas! Or DM us @the.debriefpodcast Have a fabulous Monday! Lots of love, K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Debris. Hi darling. Hello my love. How are you? I'm looking at you so fondly. Oh, thank you. Have you missed me? I've missed you every day. I feel like I haven't seen you in a while to be honest.

I know, I have been like a ship in the know. I have been like a ship in the night. You have been like a ship in the night. I got back last night from having a lovely din-dins with my mother. And I was like, I'm going to go goss with Peach because we haven't had a good gal-gal last time. Yeah. Went in there, no Peach. I was like, oh my God, Peach.

I was like, you should know that I needed you there. I know. You should have been sat there like, oh, thank God I'm now alive. What I didn't say is I was at the pub because, finish time, guys. Yay! Holiday mode. Holiday mode.

We did. And so many people were like, tell me about your podcast. I was like, I love Kitty so much. I was like, and then I was like, oh, I found out she was here listening to me gab about how much I love her. I love it when you give me something like that.

I love it. Like when Katie's just like, so when I write Katie's birthday card, I'm always like, you are the meaning of my life. I was brought between my mother's legs out of this world to know you. And when Katie writes me a card and she's just like, I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm like, really? Like, really?

Like, you mean that? Like, so you. I'm like, really? Like, really? Like, you mean that? Like, so cute. I remember once she was just like, I remember we were sat in your room at our old house and you were like to me, honestly, I've never had a friend like you. And I was like, I will take that. You take that, you run with it.

I will take it. I ran with it. I was like, did you just look at my blaster? Have you seen? Paper cut this morning on Parasite tomorrow. Fuck. Got by the devil, eh? Got by seen? Paper cut this morning on Parasite tomorrow. Fuck. Got by the devil, eh? Got by the devil.

You can't win them all, actually. Well, these things are sent to try us. They are. And it's all about how you handle these kind of situations. However, the weather is stunning that I cut my finger and I was like, hey, ho. Hey, ho, here we go. Hey, fucking ho. A little too high or a little too low.

A little accessory for my day. Exactly. Completes the outfit. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Now, tell me your mantra. know a little too high or a little too low a little accessory for my day exactly i was the outfit oh thank you very much thank you now tell me your mantra my mantra is a bit egotistical i can't lie okay it's i'm killing it i'm killing it and i'm modest and most importantly earnest about it earnest earnest and modest about it but fuck the modesty for a second let's fuck the modesty i'm gonna toot my own horn this week i feel like i've done a lot this week yeah and i feel like a lot of people will like about it and i'm and i just took it in my stride i've done it i got some really fun exciting news this week which was great i got shortlisted for

that student performer of the year for the summer though though. I'm actually so angry at you that you didn't tell me this. Why didn't you tell me? I'm not doing the podcast. I swear to God, if you ever succeed like this again and not tell me, I will block you. I will block you. Lock the doors to the flat. I'm not coming home.

When you said to me that time, I've never had a friend like you, it's because you can boast to me. Don't you fucking ever do that. That is amazing i was really pleased i was like oh fantastic what a boost as well because it was it was a great boost this week yeah yeah it was this week you've had a lot on with like industry stuff. So, and it can get a lot when it's in the creative arts industry,

it can be a lot as in a lot of self-reflection, a lot of, you know, all that kind of stuff. So to get that boost, it's perfect this week. It was a nice little boost to round off my week. So I was like, oh, delightful. So I was like, yeah, actually be proud of yourself this week. Thank you. What's your mantra?

So my mantra for this week is i'm strong resilient and in control oh i love that i honestly feel i've said this to myself like three times each day every day i love that i'm strong resilient and in control so i've been at my job for like just over a month now so i had a monthly review oh amazing so scared like I was so nervous yeah I just I think what I found out about myself is I am a perfectionist so I could then be like if there's literally like okay so to improve you need to do this I'm like I should be perfect yeah so it's so bad I found that quite hard I was like oh yeah you know and and then there was a lot of self-doubt I was like oh am I doing it right and all this kind of stuff and then I got on the next

day smashed it got it all done okay resilience come on you're in control if you flap you're not in control no flapping just yeah um so I think that really helps and rationalizing as well like I spoke to quite a few people about it and they were just like this is normal this is what happens this doesn't mean you're gonna get fired this is just you know what i mean so i felt like that helped it's always one of those when they say like when they bring you in for reviews and stuff and i'm always like oh is this where i leave like yeah i always go to the worst possible place if someone comes to me and be like can i talk to you and i'm like you hate me i was like oh what have i done yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm like oh

my god i've really fucked you off yeah i feel the completely same oh i love so tell me your song oh my song song of the week yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we're snapping yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you wanna touch a dodger Beyonce it's all not you you know normally don't go feral you normally go like like chill I'm telling you that there's people out there that'll fucking love that there are there are a niche of people that are like me. But this week, this week is fucking Beyonce. Yeah, by Beyonce. I physically cannot be in a bad mood

listening to that song, actually. She's killing it. Cowboy Carter is one of my favourite albums she has ever done in my entire life. She is killing it at the moment. So fucking good. I'm just like, but can you imagine being that successful

and being like, right, I can retire now. Clear me good. I'm just like, but can you imagine being that successful and being like, right, I can retire now. Clear me out. I did Single Ladies. Off I go. She could have, yeah.

She came back and she's still smashing it. I'm like, well, this is what, and it's the fact like she's done a share. She's doing different genres.

Like apparently the third installment because she's got Renaissance. She's got Cowboy Carter and apparently the next album is going to be Gospel and you just next album is going to be Gospel. And you just know it's going to be the best fucking thing ever.

Gospel will be fantastic. So good. I reckon I'm going to put it on now. And if it is, guys, pay me a lot of money. I'm telling you that I'll be used in so many films, the Gospel. Oh, it will be so fucking good. Yeah.

So good. What's your song? So my song this week is a classic, but it's to do with our song of the week as well. And it's Rumour Has It. Rumour has it. Rumour has it. Rumour has it.

Here's the one I'm leaving you for. Wow. You surprised yourself there, didn't you? I saw the shock on your face. You were like, whoa. I was like, shit. I love that song. Oh, it's a bad whoa. I was like, shit. I love that song. Oh, it's a banger.

I'm like, what a great song. It's a fucking banger. We actually did our conditioning warm-ups. We do a plank routine to either a Demi Lovato song or Rumor Has It. And I didn't realize it was such a long song. Oh, is it? Until I had to do a little plank. Oh, yeah.

I bet you were just shaking your legs over it. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, Rumor Has It. Get to the end. I always used to listen to Rumour Has It on the trampoline. So that's why I know it's a classic. Dramatic. We also did Rumour Has It once in house music at my old school. I loved that. Loved it.

And it was really gospel. Rumour Has It. Oh, and then the Glee mashup. Glee mashup, yes. Someone like you, Rumour Has It mashup. Well, I will say we kind of did that beforelee mashup, yes. Someone like you, Rumour, has it mashup. Well, I will say, we kind of did that before Pitch Perfect came out.

So when it did come out, I was like, oh, Gateways Girls' School. They've been listening. We were here first. We were here first. And what are they going to do about it?

What are they going to do now, eh? Hey? Yeah. Take you fucking out. Yeah. Okay, so recommendation this week lovely this week it is caffeine the coffee shop caffeine oh my god i'm loving it so this week i have been treating myself i'm like say as if i don't oh guys i've got new earrings do you like them so cute they're really cute aren't they they're really cute but i've been treating myself and i had a few lunches

out of work and i went to cafe oh my god they do the most incredible salads they do the most incredible quiches the drinks are sensational the banana bread is to die for oh my god i'm just like if you need a quick stop in perfect yeah if you need a chat with a girlfriend, you sit in there and Katie tells me a big news, which she didn't. Snake. Snake in the grass. Snake in the grass. I will chop off all your eyebrows now when you sleep. Fuck, no, and I just got one.

And then I'll put them in a paper bag and say, this is why. This is why. This is why. This is why. I'll stand at the end of your bed with my robe on. I thought you said with a robot and i was like where are you getting that right but okay yeah i need a robe point is guys go to cafe it's really good love that have you been no and i do love coffee shop i do and it's really

nice i've got one that's literally like two minutes from my office oh and people in there don't know what they're breeding in there but they're just all gorgeous really yeah like i'm thinking is it like a danish one because i mean we established danish people are all very attractive they are so attractive i don't think it is but i go in that and just just like it must be attractive people only can like apply i see yeah and i'm just like wow this is great oh i love it have you had any ice drinks there yet? Because I also think... The only gel for my friends is no matches. Oh, interesting.

So what have you been getting? Okay. So the thing is, I have a drink in my office for lunch, which is like a sparkling cucumber water. And I really like that. And it's got... This is a row of zero calories in it. So I'm like, scary.

Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? And because it's been so summery, I'm just like, I've got to have the cucumber water. Refreshing. That's the word. That's the word.

Right, should we crack on? Let's crack on. Let's debrief. Fantastic. Okay, so this week we're talking about rumours. Hence my song. Oh, the rumours are true. Fantastic. Okay, so this week we're talking about rumours. Hence my song. Oh, the rumours are true.

Yeah. Oh, the rumours are true. Yeah. See, you could have done that. I know. I was thinking that and I thought on some level you were going to pick that.

Did you? So you didn't want to snipe me out. I know. I'm like, I've double crossed too much, actually. You're like, I can't go for it again. She'll fucking slap me.

Boom. I would never. i would never i would never abuse you in such a way thank you okay let's talk about so this week we're talking about rumors we're going to talk about rumors we've experienced rumors we know debriefers rumors how to get through rumors yeah things like that first thing we're going to define what a rumor is love it actual definition of a rumor is which is tell me a circulating story of uncertain or doubtful truth oh the doubtful thing was interesting because i was like yeah yeah that's what makes rumor you're like i don't know if it's true it's like really like oh but almost i feel like i enjoy it more because there's that element

because you're like god if that i hope that's not true, but God, if it is. Exactly. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. Okay. So the thing about rumours is like, as I've just said, then it's like, oh, it could be true. Rumours can either go one or two ways.

People are so damaging and hurtful, or they can kind of be funny and flippant. You can just kind of yeah them off and think oh that is a ridiculous comment yeah i'm i remember even the the episode on friends uh which is called the one with the rumor yes and brad pitt and um ross spread this rumor about rachel because they have the i hate rachel green fan club love it that she has both genitals male and female genitals. Yes. And I mean,

it was minuscule damaging issues for Rachel Green, but she's like, oh my God, that's why this guy she was getting with, only touched my tits. Like that's why he never went below. Yeah. No.

And I'm just like, and it was so funny. She even said to Monica, she turns around to Monica and she's like, why didn't you tell me? And Monica's like, well, I didn't want to embarrass you if it was true oh right no one touches it no one touches it when it comes to rumors yeah like if it is true the other person can spin around and be like and what yeah and

also because they're usually awkward things that are rumors that you wouldn't necessarily want to go up to someone directly to ask no not really no but i thought that was too interesting like it like that episode oh my god i love it like it's so funny yeah but equally it is like the circulating rumors yes you know very much so so on the topic of rumors on the topic of silly rumors funny rumors damaging rumors have you teach late yes ever heard a rumor about you or has there ever been a circulating story yes there has been i have two very small ones okay it's weirdly family related oh okay when my mom was pregnant with my little sister i told people at school and they didn't believe me and they spread a rumor that i was lying about the fact that like my mom was pregnant with my little sister

they were like oh she's not. She's just lying. And then my mum would have had a bump to pick us up and they'd be like, it's fake. Fuck off. It was hilarious, actually. I was like, what? Where did this come from?

I was like, what the fuck? And I don't know who did it. And I remember, because I was quite young at the time. What would you have been like? Five? Six or seven. Oh, okay. The other one was my dad didn't come to my parents evening one

year and someone spread a rumor that i just lied about having a dad they were like casey doesn't have a dad because he didn't come to parents evening so she's actually lying but this was in like secondary school kids man and i was like wow like 14 and they were like she's well he didn't show up did he i'm like it was at work man yeah he was crazy but it's mad how kids take one thing and just run with it oh you know like they could have seen you that day and you could have been dreading parents evening yeah i thought shit i haven't done very well and then your dad not show up and they'll be like well she's upset and's like, so she doesn't have a dad. She can see everyone else has got a dad.

Katie doesn't have a dad. Exactly. And then all of a sudden, the school's like, Katie doesn't have a dad. And you're like, I do. I do. And Chris is there like,

excuse me. Hello. I'm here, okay. That's so weird. What about you? I've only ever heard, I'm sure there are more, I've only ever heard one rumor about me.

And it's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing at all but it was that i was a lesbian with my friend at school yeah that's crazy now my friend at school oh my god she's the best we did everything together every single thing together like she would sometimes pick me up from lessons yeah like I'd be in a lesson and she'd be in a fray or a study period and she'd be like, I'll pick you up and then we'll go to lunch. Oh, what a babe.

She's like, you're not walking on your own like a loser. I'll come pick you up. So I was like, what a babe. Yeah. We would do everything

to every week and we'd be together. She'd pick me up. Like we'd go different. We would always be partnered together. We'd be like, not you,

we'll have to be together. And I remember the boys well the room was spread by boys i remember exactly which boys as well that we were lesbians and we were lesbians with each other guys do this all the time it's always such a classic one at school as well or when you see two people together go all there together oh and people just assume and you know what's interesting the whole lesbian lesbian rumour usually comes from men. I think it's because, yeah.

It's a fantasy. It's that kind of like, oh, maybe they're doing stuff. Because there was literal examples that we were both not lesbians. Yeah. Going round the school. Yeah. However, it was like, but they're lesbians for each other. Crazy. And we used to just piss ourselves.

Oh, my God. And you know what? It wasn't a bad rumour at all. It didn't damage me. was like but they're lesbians for each other crazy and we used to just piss ourselves we oh my god and you know what it wasn't a bad room at all it didn't damage me like yeah you know it's not it's not a bad thing at all no i feel like yeah but we just always laugh we even shared a dorm so they were like well they're shagging in there you're like of course all those things i was like yeah like you never know what we got i mean as friends as well you get changed in front of each other yeah so i'd be like oh can you do up my dress in a blow? Oh. It was a thing.

It was really a thing. Oh my God. Yeah, it's so fucking funny. Oh man. So we asked the debrief. Yeah, tell me. In a poll. Oh, tell me a poll.

How many of us have had a rumour spread about them? The options were, yes, don't't even it was bizarre or no i think thanking the gods i never have oh interesting okay i'm gonna guess yeah what do you think i'm gonna guess percentage now i would like to say i think we've got a younger audience i would say our audience is about 18 to 25 yeah that's like our biggest audience. But if you're older than that, we love you. And if you're younger than that, we love you too. Absolutely.

I'm going to say low. I'm going to say, no, I'm going to say 50-50. Okay. 50% have heard a rumour about themselves. Yeah. 50% haven't. Right. So 95% of people have fuck yes don't even it was bizarre was 95%

95% yeah to 5% saying no I never have and I'm like yeah it's crazy because as well especially if you're in school yeah because to be fair I only heard the rumours I've heard other people say, or it's like environments like that. Yes. But you don't really hear it. Maybe you do hear it in the office. I don't know. Maybe you're a big company.

You could be like so-and-so. Maybe. Yeah. I feel like that's where it's, yeah, schools and workplace contained environments. Yeah. That's where it all happens. 95% shit. That is a lot of people. Yeah. That's a lot of fucking rumors honestly we got some

so we asked them to send in the ones that and i've selected my favorite okay fantastic let me get the ones up that i saved as well my favorite i my favorite one was yeah that i shat on someone's bathroom floor. It wasn't me. It was their dog. And I'm like, how? He would do that. Who would be so cruel?

He would be so cruel to be like, she shat on the floor. Like, oh, you shat. What? The dog did. But also, if you have a dog, surely, and you see a poo on the kitchen floor, you'd be like, that's the dog. Fucking hell, Jerry's at it.

And you'd sweep it up. Yeah. You wouldn't be like, Mary, control yourself. There's a bathroom, you know. Fucking disrespectful, Mary. There's a bathroom over that.

That is weird. Also, that is damaging because people would be like, stupid girl. Right. I'd die. I'd die. Not even she shat herself. She shat on the floor. She shat on the floor. Yeah, I mean, stupid girl. Right? I'd die. I'd die. Not even she shat herself.

She shat on the floor. She shat on the floor. Yeah, I mean, how bad is that? Okay, I've got one. When I was at school, the popular girl spread a rumour around

that I put my mouth around the entire spout when I drank from the water fountain. I don't even know how to do that, but people used to come up to me

and ask if I could put different items in my mouth. Oh my God, that's hilarious. So she was like the whole, like, do you know what I mean? Are we talking about one of the long, oh, hilarious. Over the whole thing to drink the water. But kids are cruel, man.

Right? Put that on a t-shirt. Kids are fucking cruel. I'm telling you. I'm just like, why would you spread that? No, but but again it's this sexual thing of coming up to her asking can you put things in your mouth that's weird i'm not so weird the hormones at that age just drive you fucking insane truly i think yeah

because part of them wants it to be true they're like oh this is fun but yes it is true but if she can well i'm kind of turned on that she can yes oh it's bad it's bad my favorite one was i heard a rumor that i have a boyfriend oh i'm like real and i don't really i don't know that's a more humbling rumor actually oh i heard you got a boyfriend well i don't have a rumor that you do have a boyfriend or would you rather have a rumor that you don't have a boyfriend and you do have one oh rather have a rumor that i do have a boyfriend when i don't i don't want to if you can behave like you're not in a relationship shit that's confidence and that's so say like i feel like if someone's like oh i didn't realize they were in a relationship you're giving off the wrong vibes I'm confused I would rather someone be like

oh I thought you had a boyfriend yeah that's what I mean that vibe if you have a partner is sexy because it's like you're so securing them you're not begging for anyone's attention but if I did have a boyfriend and was acting single then it's like

we know a girl like that we know a girl like that. Hi, sweet dream. We know a girl like that. Okay, I've got another one. I was moved to another base while in the Navy. Oh, wow. A year later, I had to take a trip back to where I was based. And one guy said, oh, my God, I heard you died.

People were crying and everything. What? I didn't know how to respond. Thank you? What? Can you imagine? Oh, my God, I thought you died well hello no i'm here clearly not also being like people were crying who's crying actually yeah who and who wasn't

and who wasn't because i want to know tell me though no because i mean was there a funeral like cut your losses flower arrangements who was glad yeah come on what was what was my what were my songs yeah uh yeah i don't know i thought you died that's so random as well as the fact that he didn't really get i don't know how you contact but like surely someone would like clarify that no like hello but like oh my god i heard you die people are cromming that's crazy. That's so crazy because that must have got through to like,

that must be like a third party person because surely if it was their family, you could solve that instantly. Yeah. So if it's someone like, it must be someone being like, oh, do you hear about so-and-so? Dead.

Even then, who makes that up? Yeah. Who makes that up? Who pulls out all of their boochiekies? Who spreads the boochiekies? And pulls it out of their arsehole. And then like, but you know what? It makes me think, is it, do they start off with this elaborate lie?

Or is it like, oh my God, I haven't seen them in a while. Says to the next person, oh, so-and-so said they hadn't seen them in a while and they were really upset. The next person goes, oh, they were crying because, you know, he's gone. He's gone. And then the next one's like, were crying because you know he's gone right he's gone and then the next one's like yeah never to be seen i do i do think many rumors start from miscommunication yeah they have to misunderstanding it's got to be yeah completely i think i've got another one okay i a co-worker told others at my office that I was homeless and living in the woods behind the building.

All because I walk to work and take a shortcut path through the woods instead of going all the way around the building. I had to clarify to the whole office during my lunch break that I wasn't homeless. She should get in trouble for that. Can you imagine? That's terrible. Can you imagine that's terrible can you imagine fuck but equally why are you like why are you spreading that is it just like causing share because if you were concerned you would surely not spread right go to the you know be like head of the company whatever and be like yeah you know i'm a bit concerned what the fuck just because

he walks through the water i believe it are you kidding I'd be livid. Are you kidding me? I'd be like, what are you on about? What are you on about? This person went, this is a good one. I was like, oh. I heard I was an extra in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Oh. How this rumor started, I will never know. That's hilarious.

But daily, I'd have colleagues ask me about my experience to the point they put it on their website. But you know what I love? I'm like, what point do you get at that you just started agreeing with them? You know, it was actually a really enjoyable experience. I learned a lot, met a lot of great people. Daniel's lovely.

He's a really humble guy. Because I'm sure it must get exhausting being like no it didn't happen no it didn't happen oh fine it was great yeah do you know what I mean

yeah but then what gets me is I'm like they seem so intrigued and I'm like are they going to be like well get the scene up then show us where you are

yes like that's hilarious but I also feel sometimes with rumours it is easy to just be like yeah yeah fine yeah

yeah completely I mean I mean how great is itours, it is easy to just be like, yeah. Yeah, fine. Yeah. Yeah, completely. I mean, how great is it they put it on the website? I know. They're like, our shining star, an extra in Harry Potter. Broomstick in hand. I love it. So as we've said, some rumours can be funny or amusing, but others can be seriously damaging. Yeah.

Especially at school when you're trying to find yourself and potentially really harmful rumours can just really damage your self-esteem. So we're going to talk about a few ways that we think could help if you've got a rumour circulating, if you've got a rumour going around your school, your friendship group, your office, and how you should deal with that. One of the first things I said is consider how to respond.

Yes. One of the first things I said is consider how to respond. Yes. So say if my rumor was that I got with, give me a name. Michael. Michael. I got with Michael. Okay.

And everyone's like, I can't believe what slag she got with Michael. And I didn't get with Michael. I'm like, I literally have a boyfriend or maybe, you know. Yeah. First thing I would do do get a response because all this room is gonna do is piss you the fuck off and if everyone's like you got with michael you got with michael you could honestly be like honestly just you know yeah and then lose your shit and then you look defensive and then yes it doesn't help it doesn't help your case but if you

can stay cool calm and collected if you can come up with a response, you know, I don't know what that response could be because it's all different depending on your circumstance. But if it is the Michael one, you could just be like, I mean, you could just say, well... You got all Michael, you got all Michael. You just went... Oh, did I? You could just be like, oh, did I?

Gosh, never remember that happening. Did I? Or did I? Just try. Yeah. Come up with a response that can shut it down. Yes. Because if you're just like, honestly, like, when would that?

Don't give them a question. Yeah. Don't say, when would that happen? Yes. Because then they could say, oh, well, I've seen you flirting with him. Yeah. Just say, oh, really? Oh, didn't that?

News to me. Fantastic. News to me. Just have that. Have the answer. Have the answer that have the answer have the answer have the answer it shuts the conversation down yeah don't fan the fire yeah exactly mine is kind of on a similar vein actually is dependent on the rumor lean into it because i feel like when you don't it gets fueled more by you going no that's not true that's like seriously not true no no no if someone's like I heard you shoved

Marissa into the street yeah I'd be like I'd be like oh yeah of course I did yes

almost mocked them for saying it yeah gosh no I forgot I'm such a violent person yeah fantastic it's one of those things yeah

lean lean into it don't be like oh honestly like it's really hurt saying it. Don't give them something to create another drama about. Just try to shut that shit down. Yes, 100%.

I think the other thing that could really work is, this is one of the most annoying pieces of advice when it comes to anything in life. However, it is true. Time. Right. People, time, okay? Yeah. Because in these environments rumors are rumors because they just go come and go and come and go yeah like they don't stick around for long

something new will be on the block like all this kind of stuff so give it time you know before they know it they're going to find something else it's all and if you're doing the boring response of oh really oh and used to me it's not nothing it's not fun anymore they've got nothing to say about 100 what is it yes today's newspaper tomorrow's bin lining oh fantastic yeah oh my god you know that thing you told me about the monkeys not my son oh yeah i've heard everyone say no way No way! Not my circles, not my monkeys. I was like, fuck, she's not a loony. No, she's... I was like, people say that.

It's a saying, I know. Oh my God, mad. You were like, fuck. I was like, shit, I shouldn't think like that. I was like, fuck. The other one I said was, remember you can control what you can do, not what they can do.

Yes, yeah. So just remind yourself you're in control of what you can do so how you respond how you act how you go forward with this rumor don't just keep overthinking but so and so you can't control what they do truly they could do anything you can't control that very similarly mine was rise above and detach from what others think hard easier said than done but my favorite favorite favourite RuPaul quote, what other people think of me is none of my business. Love it.

Let them think what they want to think. It is so true. By doing that, you kind of detach from the outcome anyway, because you're like, oh, well, that's hilarious that they think that. Yeah. And by doing that, you give it less attention anyway. Completely. Completely.

Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree. So we asked Zebrae. Hell yes. Completely. Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree. So we asked Zeebrief. Hell yes. A few dilemmas that they've got. And actually, we've got quite a few this week. Yeah.

So we've got three to read out. Okay. These are from all different aspects. Yeah. But all of them do stem from rumours. Yes. And how to deal with that. Yeah.

So I'm going to read you my first one. Katie hasn't heard this yet. So this is new to her. Hey, girls. Love the pod and always makes my Monday so much better. I've got my four sisters to all listen to it as well. And when we FaceTime once a week, we talk about it. Cuties. So I need to debrief with you.

I've had a bit of a tricky situation and I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We love each other a lot and experiment a lot sexually with each other between us we've been to certain sex parties and sex events although we only ever have sex with each other no one else right we will frequently meet up in bars and pretend we don't know each other he likes me to talk to other people then he can come in and woo me oh it all sounds very elaborate and silly but it works for us of course it's a work for you that's sexy it's like claire and phil dumpy yes it is clive bixby yes what was her name juliana yes anyways this week i went to dinner

with a group of friends we have a big friendship group between my boyfriend and i we're all mixed together anyways they're all aware of the situation and what the two of us get up to yeah one of the boys in my friendship group asked me in brackets my boyfriend wasn't there right what my only fans account is oh i responded saying what are you talking about to which he said, it's fine. You can be honest. Rob, let's call my boyfriend that, has told us. I said, told you what? To which he responds, well, the reason you enjoy that kind of sex is because you're sexually driven from working on OnlyFans every day. I think they're shocked and said, I swear to you, I do not do or have an account on OnlyFans. I then texted my boyfriend saying we need to talk. Why have you told everyone in our friendship group that I do and have an account on OnlyFans?

He hasn't responded for a week. And he's not going to be back for a week either as he's on a business trip. Since then, his friends told me that when we first got together two years ago, he said that him and I met on OnlyFans. What? I am so confused. Why would he say that? He's 27 for context. Surely he'd know better than to not spread a ridiculous rumor that would always come out as not being true please help girls

i'm really upset no shame on people who do only fans but i just feel that was something that i would really not do and for him to disrespect me in that way by spreading a rumor that isn't true and he knows for a fact isn't true i don't know how to trust him i love, but maybe I don't know him. What the fuck? Why are you telling people I'm on OnlyFans? And I'm like, it's, yeah,

like that's, we met on OnlyFans. That's really like wild, especially because I don't know how they met, but I'm like, probably in a more normal setting.

Monday and Saturday, yeah. Do you know what it's giving it's giving show off yeah i think it's giving this girl who is so sexually incredible and this is going to be really annoying for you listener because you're going to be like oh how can it be a positive but he's trying to show off to his friends yeah like this girl who's so sexy yeah she was so so many people want her i got her yeah that's but that is so wild to like wild lie that's a wild lie yeah yeah that is like that's crazy arch coming to you being like kit does only fans my whole friendship group for two years thinking thinking i did only fans even worse no one's saying anything to me then they say at the pub. I'm trying to text my boyfriend being like

and he hasn't responded for a week. First of all, the week not responding, I'm like, dumb. He's embarrassed. Also, why the fuck are you not communicating that? The thing about relationships, of course there are going to be things where you're like, we need to talk, we need to discuss this. Possibly not in the OnlyFans

situation, but there are going to be so many in a relationship we communicate yeah you say we need to talk right yeah of course you fucked up i'm so sorry darling i'm at work but as soon as i'm finished i'll call you the fact he hasn't responded for a week is really worrying yeah i'd be like what the fuck that's crazy and for you like suggest what you're gonna say i think definitely confront him about it. I hate to be that person, but you can do so much better than that. If he's lied to all his friends,

it opens up a can of worms. You're like, what else do you lie about? Like you said, you don't know this man, it seems. No. If he's kept that going for years, that's crazy to me. That's bad. me that's crazy and i'm really sorry that as well because do you know what it would make me feel like shit because i'm like oh are you not proud of me and what like why are you lying about my job yes yes why do i have to be someone

different to be good enough for you yeah to be someone to show off and be proud of like that would make me feel really shit so i'm really sorry what i don't get is they're already pretty open with their friendship group anyway about telling their sexual stuff yeah because she was like all my friendship group know the situation and what we're like fantastic that's great fine so then why are you making this up why are you taking it to the extreme that is i really think darling this is a really toxic situation yeah i hate to use the T word, but I'm gonna. I think you need to have a serious chat with him. He's kept this lie going for two years.

The first time you met, he told his friends, this is how you met, which is not the case. I think you need to have a really strong look at him. You said that you don't trust him. You don't know him. I think also the not responding to you shows a lack of respect again. Yeah, that's the nail in the coffin for me.

I think you really need to weigh up what you would lose by losing him. And if you think not a lot, then I think that's your answer. Very good advice. Yeah. I've got, hi girls, been listening since you guys started and would love your advice. I've started seeing this guy recently. Let's call him Adam. And we've hit it off really well.

So for context later, he's also doing very well career-wise. Money bags. Money. We've only been on a few dates, but it was looking very promising until... Oh no. There is a mutual friend of ours,

let's call her Annabelle, who has fancied Adam forever. But Annabelle's fucking back off because he's my boyfriend, right? And who is extremely defensive. Some women, though, they can never leave him. Women, it's like, do you remember that girl, I'm going to give you

the eyes right now, that you will remember, was in love with Archie. And I'm like, I'm dating him. And she was not shy about it either. There was something, and I'm like, be respectful. Yeah, fuck me. Have your feelings, but respectfully.

Yeah, honestly. So mutual friend, and was extremely defensive when she found out that we were dating, making snide comments about how it's nice he isn't going for his usual type and really trying to make me feel bad. I'm usually okay with this sort of stuff,

but I fear she's taken it too far. What a thing to say. Oh, such a back fucking handed compliment. And you know what's annoying? Girls will know that shit and boys will be like, what? That's not a bad comment. It's like, wise up, you idiots. Why?

Get serious. Fucking wise up. Get fucking serious. So the past few days, Adam has been a bit more distant. I didn't really think anything of it. And I've now found out that Annabella spread a rumor to our whole friendship group that I told her that I was only in it for the money and never liked him as I don't date ugly guys.

This has obviously really upset me. And what's worse is that Adam hasn't confronted me on the issue. Girls, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I really like Adam, but I'm also feeling put off by the fact he hasn't even asked to clarify the issue. But similarly, don't know how to broach it myself. Any advice would be so fab. I just feel so stressed.

Okay, first thing I say, don't hate on him for not confronting. If I thought someone had said that about me i'd be so upset and embarrassed someone had called me ugly yeah and said oh like that that's really hard to then confront someone about because that's about your own worth yeah really take that hard so i would say don't judge him over that yeah then you need to confront this bitch oh you need to give her a firm talking bitch needs a fucking slap no i don't condone violence but if i did no a verbal one no i'm joking you need to go to her and you need to be serious you need to be like and whether there are people around fantastic even better i would actually condone it to be good if people around

yeah because then they can be a witness she can't spread another rumor yeah i think you need to be like look i think actually you need to chat to her before you chat to him i think you need to go for her i personally think just to be like look don't know why you've spread that rumor that's completely not true yeah i think it's really disparate don't stop getting personal about her no don't go to that level yeah just say it's really disrespectful you said that yeah for a fact that's an outright lie yeah i don't feel that way i don't want to hear this brought up ever again yeah if other people around fantastic yeah then i would say go to him and be like so basically i've heard a situation that's gone on yeah i've talked to what was the nameelle? Annabelle. I've talked to Annabelle about it

because that was not the case in the slightest. I've never said that. I don't feel that. Yeah. But I wanted to reassure you that's not how I feel. And I don't know

if you have heard this. Yes, you do know he has. But I wanted to reassure you. Yeah. That's great advice. Yeah. Yeah. What a snake though.

Oh, some women can. She wants him. She wants him. Yeah. And she's doing anything she can to put you down i hate i hate i know a girl that will constantly if she's going down she'll bring me down with her i oh my god if she's like well i've got something she'll like yeah there i'm afraid to say and i'm a girl's girl to her oh my god if i can be here in a room with girls or room of men i always fit the girlies yeah but i'm telling you there are some women cannot be happy have no loyalties no no so keep your eyes out what ladies yeah right put your specs on yeah honestly okay so um this is the last one okay hi kitty and katie i really need to debrief with you both.

Dot, I've made a mistake. Oh, no. Oh, this is something I do. So basically, I've spread a rumour and I don't know how to come back from it. Oh, funny. Oh, no. So to give you some background to this story,

I work with a very bitchy group of people. Okay. We have to go to weekly socials where we are expected to go. Right. Within the socials, my colleagues usually get very drunk and try on with a lot of people. When I say try on, usually get sometimes shag. Right. Every single time.

God. Anyways, they are always pressurizing me and calling me boring because i don't get with people during these socials but i think this is very inappropriate and unprofessional while i'm with my work colleagues and i don't trust them at all so i feel there's no need to be pressurized by doing it the nagging was was getting too much. So, out of no what, just came out my mouth and said, well, it's because I'm dating someone within the company. She's gone the other way.

She goes, well, you've gone the other way. Gave them a field day. No. Ever since then, they've hounded me. But each one of them is trying to get close to me to know who I'm dating. When when in reality i'm single as fuck oh my god i could see myself in this situation it's because he's in love with me okay who jonathan jonathan's in a relationship

right well that's what you thought oh okay that's so funny she goes karma has hit oh wait for this oh no we've had an issue at work where one of the senior staff is dating his secretary yeah and it's all kicked off so the company has said it's fine to do so but if anyone is dating or has dated, needs to come clean so that there is no politics going on that people aren't aware of. So the girls are asking me why I'm not coming forward. And if I don't, they will. What the hell should I do?

Why did I start this pathetic rumour? It's caused more trouble than it was meant to I'm fucking panicking. Help girls. I've been called in for a meeting with my boss one to one on Wednesday in two days time Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

part of me is your boss the kind of one that would find it funny? I don't know. If you went I'm like look listen they were just hounding me about if I was in a relationship so i just lied and said i was seeing someone but i'm actually not but could you not tell them that it depends how close you are with your boss i actually or you could in my opinion i wouldn't come clean yeah okay and i hate to be that person i wouldn't i would if to them no no, no way. No. No fucking way. I would say we broke up. But they've said if you were together before,

you need to say it as well. So we know politics. Maybe. Oh, God. No, I would still, I wouldn't lie to your, I wouldn't lie to your boss. Oh, I see what you mean. I wouldn't lie to your boss,

but I would lie to the group. Oh, okay. Because your boss shouldn't spread any of to the group. But you'd lie to the group. Oh, okay. Because your boss shouldn't spread any of that. No. Confidentially. And you could sue if they did. Yes.

Because that's a confidentiality thing. And as you said, hopefully the boss will see the dynamics, know the dynamics. Hopefully they'll be like, oh, I get what you mean. Fine.

Let's just leave it. That was probably a silly thing to do, but let's just move on from this. They probably love that piece of gossip and maybe even play along with you. I think. Can you imagine? But that is,

oh, that is something I could see happening to me. So spectacularly. I love how she spread the rumor about herself, though. Like, I am betrothed to Keith. They're like, oh. Oh. Like, well, we'll put the wedding on tomorrow. It's like the proposal.

It's like, well, we'll just do it tomorrow then. Oh, shit. Oh, actually. So I think Peter's right that you need to tell your boss the truth. Yeah. Honest truth. But I think as you've got a one-to-one on Wednesday, the girls have clearly gone to him.

Yeah. They've clearly said you've been in a relationship. Yeah. So, the only, my only concern is that he thinks you're lying. He may think you're lying.

Oh, that's a good point, actually. That's my only concern. So, I would completely be as open as you can. Yeah.

Be honest. Honesty is the best policy. Try to be like Peach said, be casual. Don't be, oh, I've just got soap. Don't do that. Just be like Peach said, be casual. Don't be, oh, I've just got soap. Don't do that. Just be like, look, if we're being really upfront,

I am really embarrassed. Yeah. If you're vulnerable, if you're open, if you're honest, he'll trust that or she'll trust that. But if you're like, yeah, honestly, like it's nothing. It may come off sincere. Yeah. You could even often, I'm not sure if this is even allowed in companies,

so don't take my word for it, but you could be like, look, I'm asking for you to even go through my phone. I promise you, I've not had any relationship with anyone in the company. I was just sick of the nagging about getting with people. Yeah, it was just a flippant comment I made to get them off my back.

Perfect. Yeah. Great, great. Oh my God. Good luck, good luck, good luck. Good luck. Eats. oh my god good luck good luck good luck okay i'll pick up here you ready darling yeah so mine is when you get a juicy piece of gossip oh my god you hear a rumor yeah you're positively bursting at the seams i run over to you and i'm like oh my god did you fucking hear that joaquin and jacqueline are shagging and you turn to you and i'm like oh my god did you fucking hear that joaquin and jacqueline are shagging

and you turn to me and go oh did you not know oh why are you doing that oh my god did you not know why are you doing that why are you doing that even if you did know pretend you didn't i bet oh my god that's the rule of a friendship to be like yeah oh my god i know isn't it shit yeah oh my god oh my god even if you did know more performance energy please actually yeah come on come on oh my god yes i heard this and i was meant to tell you about it oh my god isn't that fucking crazy oh my god honestly we have to go tell sandra can you believe it yeah everyone's been when she was playing hockey as well i was thinking come on girls let's ham it up did you not know let's ham it up okay oh right so just shut down the best things we can do as a sex is ham it up a little bit. Oh, did you not know? Let's ham it up. Oh, right. So just shut down the entire situation.

The best thing we can do as a sex is ham things up. Okay? Come on, yeah. So if you're not hamming it up, don't bother. No, please. Honestly. Honestly, don't bother. You ready?

Yeah. Okay. So if there's a juicy bit of gossip going around and the gossip's about someone and then they hear it and they have a meltdown or they take them out home. Oh. Honestly, like, I've had enough. Like, it's just not true. It's like, calm yourself down.

Darling. Darling. Darling. Although if It's like, calm yourself, darling. Darling, darling. Although if you're on the receiving end, oh, fucking brilliant. Here comes the gossip ten times over. I'm like a fly and my hands start rubbing together. I'm like, here we go. But if you're the person, you can just see yourself just deteriorating.

Oh, truly. I think, what's the point now? What's the fucking point? And it's one of those, I mean, it's not true. I'm like okay. Yeah it's like alright done it

just shut up. Okay so should we go on to questions? Questions. Questions. Questions. Questions of the week. I have a serious question.

I have silly. Would you? We will never trot that ever since you said silly like that. Silly silly. I

my question to you tell me would you rather have everyone have the same misconception about you there's one universal rumor that goes around about you you cannot confirm or deny it you cannot clear your name but everyone has this one thought about you okay do i know what it is yeah okay yeah or every single person in your life yeah mom dad sister arch me our housemates, our friends,

all have a different rumour they've heard about you, which you also can't confirm or deny. Nah, same rumour. I'm taking same rumour. All the different ones, I'd be exhausted. I could never clear my name. Where if it's one big rumour, like the lesbian one, I'm like, look, I'm not a lesbian, but it's not an issue if you think i am yeah what i mean i'm just like i can move on with my but if one's like oh my god she's a murderer the other one's like oh my god she's a narcissist oh yeah i'd be like oh did you

hear she did you hear she punched jack lean the other day yeah i feel like honestly yeah right yeah yeah great i would agree i'd'd rather everyone think the same one incorrect thing than have multiple people close to me think incorrect things and not tell me about it. Yeah. I'd be like, hmm. Yeah, I'd had enough. Okay, silly question.

Silly. Would you rather have everyone's perception of you? Oh, she talks shit. Honestly, the only thing she says, just rumours. No. Who did you hear that from? Oh, I heard it from Casey. I don't believe a thing she says. Take shouldn't know oh who did you hear that from oh i heard it from casey i don't believe everything she says take a pinch of salt would you rather have that or every single person have something to say about you so they'll be like did you hear katie did this

did you hear did you hear katie did that did she fuck and when i say everyone i'm saying everyone so i'm saying mom dad i'm saying me arch i'm saying everyone. So I'm saying mum, dad. I'm saying me, Arch. I'm saying your boyfriend. Everyone's got... Did you hear what she did? Might not always be negative. Yeah. Might not, but there will always be a rumour going round about you.

Always. So it could be like, oh, did you hear she's got a... Hairy Fifi. Really? Does she? Yeah, she does. And it'll probably be weekly. It's not daily, but it's weekly.

Weekly it'll change. Yeah. I would have to say I would rather have everyone think a rumour about me than think I'm an untrustworthy source. Yeah. That would upset, because if I'm trying to genuinely tell the truth and they're like, oh, you're lying, I'd be like, I'm not. Yeah, yeah.

Then I'd take you out and be like, I'm not yeah yeah then i take you out yeah i can see what you mean i think the only thing it's like it would be neckering having everyone in your life because then it's like they don't trust me but i don't trust you i don't trust anyone around here because they'll always be like yeah but did you hear what katie did be like yeah but did you hear what katie did part of me would think it'd be like flattery yeah like oh why is my name in your mouth darling yeah you want you're obsessed with me i get it yeah i'm obsessed with me truly you know i would spin it that way i'm like yeah be delusional be delusional deluloo is the salooloo is the salooloo yeah i love that right the sun sets on another gorgeous episode debriefers it's the end of the park hell yeah love you so much love you enjoy the weather enjoy the sunshine oh my god i'm so excited so

excited i'm loving life guys maybe send in like summer outfits. Thinking I would love that. Summer outfits. I need to see your clothes. Let's do that. Let us do that. Help me out. Yeah. I'll be with you, girl. Yeah. Okay, guys.

Love you so much. Have a great Monday. And remember to munch your way through it. Absolutely. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul