The Debrief - Always The Bridesmaid | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief!This weeks episode is all about that age old saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride". We delve into your dilemmas and reflect on our own experiences when we have felt like the bridesmaid and how we deal with that. As always please email [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcastHave an amazing week! Love,K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 I've got a rebel soul 🎵 🎵 I've got a rebel soul 🎵 🎵 I've got a rebel soul 🎵 Welcome to the debrief, my friends! My friends, my friends! Don't ask me. It's Monday. It's Monday.

It's alright, you cut me off, you cut me off! You're on a roll, you're on a roll. And I just. You cut me off. But it's all right. I will not hold it against you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Actually, talking of singing, I saw Katie perform yesterday. Oh, memory. Yeah. She was singing memory. And although I actually find that song. I hate that song. The most eye rolling cringy thing.

It is. She performed it beautifully. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. She performed memory. And she also did. saddest thing is i threw myself into the splits and i people took photos and i look back and my puss isn't even on the floor i'm like i literally might as well a bit i was literally like how are you feeling my hip i actually felt like i ripped my crotch in half actually jumping into that split and then i was like oh is your poos now permanently open it's like it hasn't closed has it no fingers crossed it's like it's like when will i go back

to my normal position fantastic right should we crack on let's crack on okay mantras what's your mantra my mantra mantra mantra give me your mantra, mantra. I am the main character of my own life. And you are. So I act like it. Okay, bitch? Yeah, come on now. At the end of the day, I'm not living through Susie.

I'm not living through... Mary. Mary. No, you're not. No. Who are you? I'm living through Kitty. Your Kitty.

So who's going to be the main character? Kitty. Kitty. Okay? Just need to be the main character? Kitty. Okay. Just need to remind myself this. Okay. When we're going into it, we've got a great episode.

Yeah, we do. But when we're going into the week, I'm just like, why are you prioritizing everything else when you're actually the main character? No, truly. So prioritize your tasks. Prioritize your skincare. Yes.

Prioritize your bloody workouts. Let's not be foolish guys no and i will say kit's been the main character in her life you've been slaying the outfits you've started your new job starting my new job guys and you are fucking smashing it i'm so proud of you i'm like a little proud mother oh you're so sweet i have been loving it i've been really really loving it there's so much to learn You know, when you start a new job, you're like, ah! There's so much to learn,

but thank God they're all the best. It's such a main character job as well. It's such a main character job. Are you kidding me? I am loving it. Are you kidding? Everyone's just like the nicest people and I'm just living my best life.

Every morning is like a fashion show. I'm like, yes! Everyone in the office looks great, so I have to look great. Pressure's on look great pressure's on pressure's on you know okay tell me your mantra

my mantra is it's always working out for me hey hey don't sweat it's always working out for me it's alright no no no

it always works out for me no no no actually I can never be a mug it's always working oh apart from apart from that

I just headbutted the mic guys that was really embarrassing then you'll see why she's a mug you'll see it's always working out for me there was a reason for that no no no and there was a reason for that

yeah yeah yeah but it is oh my god gossip do we do we I don't know I don't know

do we do we touch that Do we? I don't know. I don't know. Do we? Do we touch that? I had a romantic encounter at the weekend. She did. She did. TV listeners who have been here from the beginning and they're following Katie's arc and her journey. I know.

It was a good one, okay? It was a journey. It was a journey. She had a romantic experience. I found a hubby for the evening. Yeah, a hubby for the evening. No need to get graphic. Just a hubby for the evening, okay?

It's all good. That's all we have to say, okay? And you can all put the pieces together. Dad. If more details, send DMs and we'll respond. Yeah. Oh, no, I'll give you the goss. Yeah, she'll give you the goss.

Okay, tell me your song. Oh no, I'll give you the gossip. Yeah, I shall give you the gossip. Okay, tell me your song. My song is, say that again, I didn't quite hear you, messed with the wrong bitch, in the wrong era. That,

you guys, just as a soup. Oh my God. Was, Little Girl Gone, by the artist, Chinchilla. Chinchilla.

It was, it was a really popular song, on TikTok, and recently it came on, on gym playlist and i had to use it for an acting class once and i actually got so hyped i was like and honestly i know you probably didn't get it from my rendition but it's actually a very like hype song you said it like say that again reminds me from your performance last night so there were some girls that did the cell block tango. Fantastic. It was absolutely brilliant. But the funniest one was the girl who was northern.

And she was like, what did she say? She was like, artist. He's a real artist. And I was dying. She reminded me of the Charlie Morley girl. Is it on TikTok? Oh my God, I love her. Oh my God, I fucking love her.

She said on TikTok, she was like, ready to sing the prettiest woman. And she was like, no, it's me. And I was just like, oh, she's just. She's fucking hilarious. She is the fucking best. Okay, so my song this week is Everybody Wants to Rule the World.

Does that count? Everybody. Everybody wants to rule the world. Because I was thinking main character moment, that's kind of why. That is a main character song. Yeah. Jewelry on.

Yeah. Jewelry on, earphones in, me next to you. Everybody. Yeah, me. Tune wrong and then I turn to Katie. What is it again? Everybody wants to rule the world. It's so low, that one.

It's so bad. Okay, so our record, record, recommendation this week is Gravity in Monsworth because this week, bitches, akabitches. Akabitches. We did, what's it, e-karting? Is it called e-karting? Go-karting.

Because it's not, no, no, Paige. God, I'm a mug, I'm a mug, I'm a mug. This is where you're a mug again. It's always working out for me, but I feel like a mug right now. Fucking hell.

Online, on Gravity, they don't call it go-karting, they call it like e-karting or key-karting or something. Or whatever it is, but basically, bitches, it was go-karting inside bitches it was so much so much fun i love i love i would do that i would do that again like i would join a competitive team

oh i would i would i would pay to go on a track like an actual track outside and race you arch and our other flatmate yeah because we went the four of us. The most humiliating thing, though, guys, is the one who doesn't have a driver's license. Archie Griffiths. One. One. I did come second, I will say. You did come second.

I came third, actually. Actually, Katie went spinning. Someone went straight into the side of me. I flipped round. Katie went spinning. She was like, thought it was the end for a second there. Fantastic. The most humbling thing

was having to reverse the go kart well they stop everyone if it all goes to shit and it went to shit for peach so then we were all there like what's going on

Katie and I'm like one sec I'm like hang on three pointer hang on a second guys honestly

but I would recommend to go there are so many things to do like so many kind of arcade games what else was there can you remember there was a whole food section upstairs food section there's like the darts but it's like an electronic yeah like electronic darts yeah arcade games i'm pretty sure there was bowling yeah there was bowling so much to do

so and you can have little drinky poos there food. So definitely go. Good vibe. Yeah, yeah, it was fantastic. Let's debrief. Let's debrief. Let's do it. So this week we are going to talk about all things to do with the phrase, always the bridesmaid, never the bloody bride. Okay? Right. So this saying means someone who never quite fulfills their

potential or an easy way to put it someone who gets to the final but never wins the contest okay and the reason why we're talking about this is because we've had a lot of people write in about this kind of circumstance happening to them in a daily life. They're not referring to, I'm sure there are many in the world that do refer to this very literally as the bridesmaid. But we are talking in different terms. A lot of our listeners have said, I'm feeling this way at work, or I'm feeling this way in my career, I'm feeling this way in relationships,

and we are going to depict that. Because, let's face it it is a natural way to feel oh my god absolutely i mean i've definitely felt like that like have you felt like that yeah i have yeah i feel like it's one of those things that it's it's inevitable in life you will always feel shortchanged at one point in your life yeah of course you will i definitely felt that like i think the classic one for me especially growing up when we talk about nights out yeah yeah okay guys approaching me on a night out for my friend friend who's your mate who's that and it always would happen to me and

it was always just like oh my god it's never me wow it's never me yeah and that oh my God, it's never me. Wow. It's never me. Yeah. And that, oh my God, I was a bitter old buddy, guys. You'd never see, I hated going out. But isn't that mad how much that would influence you as a person? One, don't want to go out clubbing. Yeah. I don't want to experience that every single day. Yeah. Maybe could be resentful of your friends.

You could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that you should, but you could. No, absolutely. Three, you just hate men. Yeah. Or you don't trust them. Exactly. You think, You just hate men. Or you don't trust them. Exactly.

Because you know what? I actually don't trust you. Like, genuinely, I still sometimes think any guy will come up to me on the night, I'm like, oh, did you just run out of people? Like, are you just, oh, is this just your last option? Shit, that's how much your self-esteem was not by those experiences. Honestly, massively. So I think this whole feeling um this way of

maybe not feeling enough is real oh yeah it's relatable yeah and it's so what it means to be a human yes like without being philosophical that is humanity of sometimes feeling that you maybe not got i mean that whole phrase that whole simplicity of you get to the final but you don't win yeah that's hard you know i've personally experienced that yeah in a huge thing in my life pretty recently last summer you know there was something that meant so much to me where literally i did get to the final yeah and i was like this will change my life and i didn't win the contest yeah and how do you sit with that you know how does that make you feel?

Yes. 100%. And I truly feel like some, there is, I always feel like there's a saying, especially in like a creative industry. Yeah. There are people who are more talented than you that cannot handle rejection.

And as a result, it will debilitate you if you let it. So the resilience is key. Yeah. Yeah, it really is genuinely every single famous person in this world has been told no before has had setbacks the most successful people are the ones that have the thickest skin i'm not saying in terms of criticism which also is a big factor yes but i'm saying in terms of being able to constantly take rejection yeah or being able to um segregate comparing themselves to someone else yes being able to be like right

katie you're great in your field you're great at what you do yeah but you're so different from me yes yeah you might do really well in something else that i didn't but that's because you're very different to me yeah and i'm okay with that you might do really well in something else that I didn't, but that's because you're very different to me. Yeah. And I'm okay with that. And it's not taking it personally. Yeah. As well, I feel like.

Because you can so take it personally. Oh my God, are you kidding? Oh my God, you can question your existence. Yeah. You can be like, why the fuck am I doing this? Why am I here? Yeah. Why am I bothering?

Truly, truly, yeah. When really, one of my favorite phrases ever is, rejection is purely redirection. Yes, yeah. And at the time, it is the most, doesn't, yeah. Oh my God,

you would have punched whoever said that to you. Like you just want to have a meltdown. And I'm telling you girls, have the meltdown. Have it. Oh, yeah. Because you can't not move forward without the meltdown.

But along that journey, you are going to question yourself yes absolutely abilities um potentially your next step yeah whether you want to do that whether you don't yeah but i'm telling you if you want it enough you will keep going yes i think it also shows you what you do want in life yes oh a hundred percent because if you fall short and you think fuck this yeah well actually maybe it didn't mean as much to you as you thought it did no i truly i remember my sister had this exact thing she wanted to be one thing for the longest time ever applied to you need to do it didn't get in um on the course and then the rejection she was like actually why am i not devastated by this i'm actually not sure if this is what i want to do oh

michael that's so interesting yeah so it's all redirection redirection it just puts you in a different way completely 100 and feeling like that bride you know but everyone else got let's use your sister as yeah um as the example everyone else got onto this course yeah you know okay everyone else got on i'm on the bride because i'm on the final i'm almost there i'm reaching over that step i got to the interview process yeah accepted i'm not the brides i'm not the bride anymore yeah i was the bridesmaid the whole time yeah how does that make you feel and of course for luckily for your sister positively yes yeah yeah well fuck no she was like well i don't want to do this yeah yeah but that is very that's a

good thing yeah and and ultimately everyone should be able to feel that way yeah to be like oh my god well hopefully actually there are two ways. You could either say, actually, I don't want this as much as I thought I did. I'm not devastated. Or let me work 10 times harder. Oh, you're going to see. Just wait till you see when I've made it. Just you wait. You're going to see.

That's when you're going to feel it. Well, you see, I mean, I've got some, well, more specifically, there's celebrity failures that we would deem failures i'm saying in inverted commas okay fantastic but it's more how those setbacks led them to where they were fantastic so lisa kudrow oh this is one of my favorite things got hired i don't have you seen the sitcom frasier no so that there was a you know cheers that was like a big sitcom it was basically before friends it was a huge sitcom called cheers that was like chin chin yeah it was like basically

kind of like the vibe of friends where it was like 10 10 friends that all meet at this bar kind of thing oh my god no vibe okay so there was a character on that called frasier and he had a spin-off show that ran for 10 years called frasier and it was set up i've never heard of it oh it's so good is it an american show yes yeah okay it was it was frazier frazier it was pegged up to be one of like the biggest sitcoms to date lisa kudrow gets her big break playing frazier's best friend okay essentially god i thought her big break was friends i didn't know that no so she got hired to do frazier she did the pilot fine they started filming the season she gets three episodes in she gets sacked they're like you're just not right for it like you're not you this isn't you like this is just you're not blending well it's not working

so she gets replaced by the woman who then ends up playing her for the whole 10 years oh my god poor lisa kudrow but the guy that worked on fraser was like look you're not right for this but i do have an audition for that we're doing another pilot season we're doing a sitcom for this um tv show about some friends if you want to do it and i'm pretty sure she was one of the first friends that got cast oh no and it was through through that and she was like if i got sacked from that i would never have been on friends shit and she is known for her cat she was born to be phoebe buffet truly she is phoebe buffet i've got one for you so i had a look into anna wint So basically, she tried for years to become a junior fashion editor,

but was fired after a month of working for Harper Bazaar. Is that how you say it? Yeah. Yeah. For being too edgy. No way. I mean,

how fucking mad is that? Who's laughing now, Harper Bazaar? And she said, yeah, she said, in reference to that experience, i recommend that you all get fired it's a great learning experience and i was just like fantastic that is fucking brilliant i mean

how well has she done no there's no one on this planet surely well unless you got bad fashion i was gonna say something then like and then i thought, maybe people like that. But unless you're, you know, not into fashion, everyone knows who Anna Wintour is. Can you imagine trying for years and being like, maybe it's just not for me. That's a bitch. Yes. Who's like, it is for me, but I'm too edgy, am I?

Yeah. Well, fucking hell, I'll show you. Idiot. Idiot. You're a mug. Mug. Muggins. Muggins. Just watchins. Muggins.

Just watch me. Muggins a row. Yeah, genuinely. So I've got Oprah Winfrey. Oh, come on. Was told she was unfit for television news. She wanted to be a news anchor. Okay.

And she was told she was unfit for television news because she got too attached to people's stories, like as a news anchor. Piss off. They said, no, you're too emotional. Like, you're just not right for television but the fact as well that she got five for that yeah and now she's like oprah winfrey and actually that fault that she was five for is her biggest strength and then she got her own

television show emotional for being empathetic for being able to like relate to people. Right. So being like, you think that's my failure. That's actually my weapon. Honestly. So shit the fuck up. She knew her vibe. Yeah, she did. Shit the fuck up. Shit the fuck up.

Obviously, we're talking about the failures in inverted comma. Yeah. I don't think failure is a bad thing. No. I don't think it's a bad word. I don't think it's a negative word. I don't think it's a bad word. I don't think it's a negative word.

But I think the biggest thing you need to say is we can't let failure define you. And the other one I'm going to quickly cover is that failure does not mean your life is over. Nope. And I'm telling you, bitches, I've been there. Where I'm like, I literally got rejected. What the fuck? I will never come back from this. Ever. Never will simply stop you will okay time moves and so do you my friend this is my favorite thing that katie says time peach time literally does not stop anything you're dreading you will actually have to get

through if you're ever nervous for something time does stop. You will get to a point where you go through it. And it will be over. It's one of those things. You get that rejection. That thing happens to you. But what do you do? You wake up the next morning and you're like, okay, that happened. New day.

New day. Time's still moving. Fantastic. Fan-bloody-tastic. Bring it on. Bring it on, dickheads. Yeah, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Fucking sue me. Sue me. Fan-tastic. Fan-bloody-tastic. Bring it on. Bring it on, dickheads. Yeah, what are you going to do?

What are you going to do? Fucking sue me. Sue me. And I know, guys, I know that when you've got the rejection, this is the hardest thing to hear. Yeah. So we get that.

We're not saying it from a place of like, we've never been rejected, so we, you know, like. No. We have. Yeah. Numerous times. Look, we are coming from a place,

it's so typical, we're coming from a place like do this do that have we done it in the past no possibly not or not at all it's a learning curve so i would love you to tell me peach the way in which you have been a bride no you've been a bride's maid wanted to be the bride yeah you fell short how have you experienced that situation and how have you handled it badly personally so i like i had a boyfriend okay we broke up that day he started seeing someone else fuck and in the sense of that is that is illegal no actually jail time that jail time get the gavel get me a fucking wig on jail time it's not okay that's not okay but i get behind bars sir i was butthurt no like i was

i i was but i was butthurt no i genuinely was butthurt i was, I genuinely was butthurt. I was so... And I felt like... Were you crying in your soup? Oh, you know I was. Yeah, dilution soup. Crying on my cats. Yeah. I was literally like,

I felt like the bride got kicked outside the church, then got forced to wear the bridesmaid dress. It was just like, it was literally, it just... And I feel like, I'm hoping people can listen and resonate with this. It makes you feel like the most unattractive unworthy person in the world when someone can move on that quickly from you and it just means makes you feel like they didn't give a shit at all yeah i didn't handle that because to me that was a setback and i got a real confidence knock

and i was literally like wow i feel like i really failed life here and I also felt like I lost the breakup which also you know there should be no winners or losers but there are there are in a relationship and I know there's a loser and I lost and I was butthurt about that I was like fucking hell Jesus you didn't even have a medal kick a girl while she's down i'm like fifth runner up like are you kidding um so i let that debilitate me and i also let the why like why did this happen take over my life to the point where like i would put all my efforts into trying to impress this guy who was seeing someone like oh it's bad it's bad girls it's bad that i would literally be like oh my god we'll just like maybe even even acknowledges me then like maybe he'll realize that he made a huge mistake and then like well well no no don't chase i chased it was embarrassing like that's

the mentality of being like no i'll get him okay there's there's a difference yeah because what the girls think and i'm like i'm with you here you you're like i'll win let me just prove to myself that i can get him back yes no no no that's a real that's i feel like i feel like there's a there's i there's a pride there is a pride i feel like though there's a there was a quiet confidence that i did not have i was reeking of desperation okay i was literally just like and i was begging it off this guy as well girls you got to play it cool as a fucking cucumber if you're in this is in this position keep being the sexy fucking gal you are you do you do and just don't even acknowledge him what's gonna hurt him more is having you unbothered oh Oh! It's like when you go,

oh, I think we should break up and they go, okay. Instant. Instant. What's going to bother them more? I'm telling you. I am telling you here. Bible.

Bible. Bible. Bible. I'm telling you, what's going to piss them off? What is going to make them clench their teeth is you being like,

okay, okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Play it. You've broken up. He's trying to slag it about. He's got a new girl.

Let him. Let him. It's the let him theory. Let him do that. Let him do that. Let him. Because true. Oh, unbothered queen. Am I bothered?

No. No, no, no, no, no. Have the breakdown in tears for your pillow, Abby Lumilla. Tears for your fucking pillow. But no, no, no, no, no. I love no no you won't see me sweat in public absolutely you will fucking not see me sweat or you will see someone who's cool calm and fucking collected and i'm not a very chill person i don't think i would say so guys if i can do it you can do it love it you've got it okay so i'm gonna tell you mine so mine's in like a completely different realm.

But let me take you back to me. I was probably about 15. Yeah. So I was put in the top set for history. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. I did enjoy history at the time.

But I felt completely out of my depth. I felt completely. I was at a really big school. So top set, there were eight sets so it wasn't just one or two like i was put in the top set so i was thinking big talk yeah i was thinking shit this is this is a bit scary yeah that is scary i always felt i was falling short all the time all the time every single one in my class every single pupil in my class was getting a star a star a star a star

and i was getting a b probably and i was just thinking oh my i should not be in the set let alone i should not be doing the subject okay and i felt that i genuinely felt that all the time and i remember i was telling my parents and i'm without sounding like a big dog i was getting pretty good grades in the sense of on my um gcses i was thinking i could get a's a stars yeah and i thought with this one will be the one that's going to let me down i will not be able to do this yeah and i was telling myself these negative things like i was constantly telling myself i can't do it um in the back of my mind thinking and i'm not going to do it because i was like i'm going to tell my parents,

I'm not doing this GCSE because I can't do it. I just cannot. It was this monologue, internal monologue. Anyway, my parents were kind of on the vibe, but they were like,

okay, let's do parents evening and see where you're at. Anyway, went to parents evening. My teacher was there, obviously, and we were talking about history and i was just dreading it because i was like oh i hate this subject because i felt like i was always doing

really badly at it i was getting ready to be like i'm not doing it okay yeah and he's just like and my parents like yeah so how's kitty doing yeah watch it and he says kitty has the potential to get an a and i burst into tears tears. I was livid at this man. I was livid. You were like, you've ruined it. I was like, you've ruined the fucking plan, you idiot. You've ruined it. You've fucking ruined it.

I rue, no, I did not handle that well. I was so like, oh, how dare you believe in me? I was like, how dare you? I was like, I was rearing up to quit this. Yeah. I was constantly the bridesmaid for the whole, what, nine months. Yeah, yeah. And how long did you do sissy's for? Two years

for this whole two year process I was like I'm not doing as well and I was telling myself, telling myself and when he said to me, I will not let you drop this subject and I was like I was livid, oh my god the whole half an hour drive home I bitched at him, I was like, oh he has no

idea, like he's he has no idea like he's actually got no idea oh my god this bitch came out with an a three months off an a star oh yeah that was like i was handled it so badly yes i was talking to myself like you can't do this you can't do this you can't cry to my teacher like yeah how dare you believe in me yeah yeah because i thought well if i'm not gonna do it well i'll quit yeah oh my god do you not like that mentality was so shit yeah i should have just taken a breath and been like okay trust yeah trust the process yeah but i was almost determined to then show him that he was wrong yes yeah oh my god i know what you mean i know what you mean you should have let me drop this fucker yeah yeah i'm gonna bring your set

you know yeah average your grade average is gonna go right it's gonna go so down when i purposefully don't write a fucking thing on my exam yeah yeah i'll just draw a photo okay a picture yeah so that was not handled well okay so we're now gonna go on to some debrief dilemmas and because we have been written in this is why we did the whole episode yeah a few i think it might have been last week we um touched to the app well we reached out to our listeners and said what do you want us to talk about and this was the main thing that just kept coming up yeah okay so i'm gonna read you the first one um hi girls happy monday i'm so. I'm so glad you said you'd do an episode on this because I truly feel like I was...

I truly feel like I was christened the bridesmaid. Oh, darling. I'm 26, London girlie, woo-hoo, and live with three other girls. We do a lot together and mostly on the weekends, go for drinks, go out clubbing, or as you say, club. To the club.

Club. To the club. To the club to the club to the club all of us are sing all of us are single so we enjoy the flirt when we go out nice or at least they do oh every single time we go out either one of them or all of them will find a guy it's like they're bloody magnets however i must purely be plastic because i'm attracting fuck all it's starting to get to me a little bit yeah i'm not saying that no one flirts with me because they do but only if i make the move and sometimes i just can't be asked yeah and i'd love to be approached and wooed proper Proper notebook style. My friends are great and they never make me feel shit about this.

It's my own self-esteem that's affected. Please, please help me out of this rut. Thanks. Love you both. Oh my God. Let me pass this over to you. Girl. What are you thinking?

I could genuinely, like, I feel you. I feel you. Fuck. Yeah. Honestly, I was you. I feel you. Fuck, yeah. Honestly, I was a little bit emotional. Like, that's, I feel you. I completely get you. It's a fucking horrible feeling.

And I feel like you get yourself in a tizzy as well because you're like, I don't know if it's the same situation, but I feel like the people that would come up to me, I'm like you i genuinely really is this all the universe is coming up with and i feel like it's hard in the sense that when you do see your friends getting with people and your friends getting loads of male attention you think god why not me and all i will say is that i completely get that it's so hard on self-esteem

fucking hell i was saying earlier like even when i go clubbing now if someone comes up to me i'm like oh so there are no women anywhere i am the only woman and it's a really hard one yeah but i would say that a as these the kind i know you like the flirt all good i get that yeah. But are these the kind of people you want to attract anyway? The guys that will just kind of walk up and slobber all over girls in bars. I'm all for girls enjoying the flirt. Like girls. You do you.

You do you. Have fun. But are you going to get a hubby from this? Maybe not. Maybe have a good little flirt. Yeah. not maybe have a good little flirt yeah but at the same time i've learned that i am a much better person um in a different environment than that environment that's so nice that is fantastic advice and i would always say just go out with the the girls and i know that's hard if you go

out the girls and they're all getting with other guys but if they're good friends they won't make you feel left out no and she said that they don't. Yeah, exactly. So I think don't put pressure on yourself. Cause you know, you're hot shit. Yeah. You know, you look great and you know, you're sexy.

And I also feel like there are some guys who are intimidated. I know it gets thrown to me and I'm always like, for fuck's sake. Yeah, sure. But you know, I do think guys. And they might read that energy.

If you're like, Oh, probably like, well, I'm not guys... And they might read that energy if you're like... Oh! You're probably like, oh, I'm not going near her because I'll get rejected. Possibly. Yeah, and that definitely is the case with me. I've got a face like a slapped arse on a night out. I think a man think I would dropkick them if they came towards me. Yeah, genuinely.

I think they're a bit scared. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah, I completely get you. Love it. But you've got this. Perfect. You've got it, got this stay calm you've got this yeah okay tell me yours mine hey girls hope you're all well this came at the perfect time so basically i'm currently in my final year at drama school which i'm loving however our casting for our final year show has come through and i didn't get the part I was hoping for.

This has been the case for most of the projects we've done and I just feel so disheartened and I'm really struggling to try and stay positive and excited about this project when I feel like I've been constantly overlooked. I hope this doesn't come across as ungrateful, but I'm just really disappointed and don't know where to go from here. Oh, I get you.

Okay. The first thing i will say which yeah the first thing i'm gonna say is not not to do with the character i wanted i'm gonna deal with the character she is now okay which what i've understood is a smaller part what i've understood um make that part your own okay yes let's say the play is oh um hamlet hamlet let's say this play and you wanted to be ophelia yeah okay but you're the servant okay yeah you do that servant the way it's never been done before yeah okay don't you do not have to copy it yeah you have your you make that character what you want that character to be because i tell you the amount of productions i

have seen where the main character is massively overlooked and i think no it's massively under yeah like what's the word i'm reaching overhypedped. Overhyped. And I think, oh, God, get your... The biggest one I'm going to say is The Motive and The Cue. It's a big play that's on at the moment. Now, let me tell you, the two main protagonists, they were fantastic, they were. But the person that stole the show was the woman who played... Oh, God, what's her name?

Oh, I want to say her name's elizabeth taylor she was fantastic yeah she was not a big she uh she was a smaller part the whole play was about the director and the actor yeah between these two she shone yes she shone she was only in a few scenes but oh my god did i want to see more of her did i just want anything she said i could not stop watching yeah so what i'd say is try as hard as you can to lose that with lose the connection with the one you wanted yeah and and bring your heart into this character yes um what do you think i 100 agree i think you're absolutely bang on and i also think i know at the time like and i completely understand because i feel like i'm i will be in a

very similar boat quite soon so i completely get that at the time it will feel like it is be all end all absolutely but there are also so many more opportunities you will get in time especially at drama schools. This won't be the last opportunity you get to perform for people that you want to see you. Yeah, and also, darling, remind yourself that if you've got, from two girls who know the drama school process pretty well,

just remind yourself, if you're in a third-year production at a drama school... You beat out a lot of people. You've done well've done very well you are doing well already and that does not mean this is the end of your career this does not mean again if you want it go get it yeah this is not the end of your career this is not the last thing that you're going to see that everyone's going to be like she was the servant okay this is just one of the first things absolutely not josh o'connor yeah josh fantastic example josh o'connor i swear they wrote in a part for him because there actually wasn't one and he had like two lines yeah he's in the fucking crown yeah he's about to do that

film with zendaya yeah like he's another example i'm gonna say is um all of us strangers with um andrew scott and paul mescal thank you fantastic again i can't fault them they're fantastic actors absolutely renowned they're fantastic however the person who stole the show for me was claire foy there was a one moment showing motherhood yeah she looks at her son and it's just a gas in the eyes and in that second i thought you've won yeah you have done it the whole thing any time she came on i wanted to see her yeah just don't don't let the title the status yes how big don't let that define you that does not define you yes 100 because think of all the fantastic incredible actors that have played tiny parts yes absolutely you know don't let it define you darling you know you've got this you've got it be proud

okay we've got one more before we move on gorgeous um hi kitty and katie i need to debrief oh my god i'm so hungry i need to debrief as i don't know what to do. And I'm feeling that you both can help me. I've been working in events management for over 15 years. I facilitate weddings, parties, corporate events, etc. I absolutely love it and I'm truly passionate about it. However, I always feel that it's never quite enough. Every month, the company votes for the best event that happened in the last month, aka which event manager did the best

i have been at this company for eight years and i shit you know i have never once been voted for oh now i'm a lot younger by the others so my ideas can sometimes be seen as risque or i like to say innovative for example i hosted and organised a staff events party as tarts and vicars. When the women were the vicars and the men were tarts. Brilliant. I thought it was iconic.

Clearly not everyone else did. Anyways, the votes happened earlier this month and no one voted for mine. Everyone's votes are read out, so I do know. I had a bit of liquid courage, so I called them out. as all boring creative virgins who have no humor at all so dot dot dot i've been called in for a meeting

next week what the fuck do i do i know i shouldn't have said it but it's about time i feel at least once one piece of my work should be recognized. Thank you, girls. I'm in the shitter. What did you say? Boring creative virgins who have no sense of humor. Well. Oh, my God. Well.

That's so funny. Well, well, well. I think stuff like that can be extremely clicky, especially in the workplace. Friends vote for friends. Friends vote for friends. If you're younger and kind of on the it sounds like these people are older and clearly you've done very well yeah with the age you are at so there could be jealousy there i think so i think it is a lot more internal

politics than you think i don't think it's a reflection on you at all but i completely get why you think a fucking hell eight years oh and you're not even giving a little lick especially it's not like annually it's every month every and you know who's voting as well you might of course you think they all fucking hate you like this is boring now yeah i think fantastic yeah the liquid color i think you got the meeting now okay i would not avoid it well you can't they're gonna say you shouldn't have said that boring what did they call creative virgins fantastic

fantastic and yeah of course you're gonna apologise for that I'm sure you know it but don't oh my stomach

don't apologise for the reason why you said it no be honest yeah you can apologise for your words

yes and the way it was handled yes but don't apologise for how you feel no and you can apologize for your words yes and the way it was handled yes but don't apologize for how you feel no you can say look we don't want to put words in your mouth because we're not sure this is actually the case but you can say sometimes i feel overlooked yeah because i'm younger perhaps possibly there are clicks in the um yes in the organization yeah and i would sometimes like some recognition yes clearly yeah clearly that some of them enjoyed that event maybe not all of them but there could be jealousy yes they didn't they don't

want to give it to you yeah you know so be very upfront yes you're gonna have to handle the words you used hilarious fucking brilliant fantastic um but be upfront clearly they if they they know you the company you've been there for eight years you do risque or innovative things there anyway yeah so if they didn't like that they wouldn't have you there no yeah so don't apologize for who you are no absolutely who you are but just make them understand it yes absolutely good luck with that okay so i've got two x to do with bridesmaid bride i've got one fantastic okay my first one is that failure is something to be embarrassed about it's the most irritating thing i'm like why is failure embarrassing yes every single one of us fail at something yes why are

you labeling it that oh they failed yeah oh failure fail epic fair what why are you embarrassed and also whispering like they didn't get in or they're okay fine right you're not gonna get in next year yeah you're not gonna get the job you went for you didn't get the guy that you wanted yeah you didn't show up to work on time today is that failure fail loser yeah like why is everything supposed to be embarrassed about some people love it when other people fail yeah but again that's about their own insecurity so that annoys me. Are you ready, darling? Yep. Mine is on a very similar vein. Pitying someone.

Like extreme pity. I'm like, don't. Oh, but are you okay though? Are you sure you're all right? Yes. No, I'm sorry. I'm fine. I hate pity. I hate unnecessary pity.

Oh. Fair fucks. If I want pity, let me. I'll pity party. I'll come to mama. Give it to me. Pity mama. Give it to me. Pity party. Give it to me.

But when I'm already feeling down, don't then be like, oh. Yeah, it's patronizing pity. The double P. Yeah. Don't do it to me. Take peace. It's the PP.

Don't do it. Yeah, don't do that. Stop that now. Yeah. And that failure isn't normal. That's the thing that annoys me the most. It's like, oh, did you hear? Darling, what are you on about, love?

Yeah. We've all done it. Yeah. We've all failed at something. Yeah. Something, something. I know. So that really pisses me off.

I think social media is to blame for that as well. Yeah, I think it is. You're always seeing people's successes, but behind that, I think. And perfections. Yes. And it's like, oh, no. Yeah.

Okay, should we go on to questions? Questions. I'm serious questions. And am silly fantastic so i'm gonna kick us off with serious question i'm gonna ask you in terms of the phrase always the bridesmaid never the bride yeah when do you think this phrase is the most felt in scenarios do you think that's relationship do you think that's career do you think that's uh romantic do you think that's um i personally feel like it's for me i personally feel like it's romantic okay in the sense of i like someone they don't like me back or they don't like me as much as I like them um I'm with someone they replace me very quickly it's little stuff like that or like I like a guy on a night out go up to them who's your mate it's little things like that so I would

say I personally I've definitely experienced it in a professional capacity okay um and definitely experienced it in terms of um auditioning for things and not getting them um and absolutely getting knocked back in that sense yeah but i feel it more deeply on a romantic level okay for sure i'm with you i feel like more the bright more the bridesmaid than ever okay interesting in a romantic setting okay what about you career yeah but i think again that's all it's all to do i'm in a relationship so yeah it's could it's so situational yes yeah absolutely as well for me i put so much pressure on myself to succeed all the time and everything i'm doing yeah yeah so it's like when i don't i'm like yes that's

where i'm like oh my god i need to do the best that i possibly can yes um to be the best yeah yeah that's unrealistic absolutely no one is the best way yeah um okay okay my silly question is actually taking the phrase quite literally oh okay would you rather love be the bridesmaid at every single one of your friends and family's wedding wow and have to wait until all your friends are married before you can get married oh my god or have no one come to your wedding no of your friends, your cousins, your sister, everyone is married, wifed off,

until you and arch can have your moment in the sun. Could. I get married, just me and arch, like at Little Place. Yeah. But then have like a celebration. Fuck. Because that's what I do. I then have like a celebration. Fuck. Because that's what I do.

I'd be like, celebration of love. That's what I'd call it. And like, what's it like the paper anniversary is your one year or something? Is it like tinfoil or something? Exactly. So I'm like, oh, we're married, but we're doing a celebration of love.

Where it's like. I won't be cruel. I'll let you do that. Okay, well, that's what I do. Yeah unfortunately how about you yeah otherwise i'd be i'd be bitter i'd be like not yet not yet i'd stay with someone for years but it also make me like i don't want any more friends like yeah yeah i'm gonna have to wait for you to get married as well so don't please don't call me your friend yeah yeah um i probably would do the same if i wanted to marry someone i'd literally be like oh like i i don't like respectfully like i don't i don't want to

have to wait yeah let's just do it okay let's let's just do it me the vicar and fucking ben would have ben ben will be there ben the hypothetical boyfriend would be having the best time ever fucking love it fucking brilliant yeah alright everyone I love you so much I hope you have a fantastic Monday have the best week because you're the main character

remember you're the main character and you are the bride of your life you're the bride of your fucking life and it's always working out for you it's always working out for you it's always working out for you

love you so much have a fantastic week bye bye Bye