The Debrief - Bad Birthdays | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

Welcome back to The Debrief! This week we are talking all things Birthdays: the good, the bad & the ugly! As always email any debriefs or dilemmas to: [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcast Have a lovely week! Lots of Love,K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Dibri with your co-host Kitty McNeil and your co-host Katie Leige. Look at us looking pretty and pink today, Katie. We are pretty and pink. I've just thrown this on. I'm loving this whole thing. This whole thing. We're in the month of love. Look at us getting love on. I'm loving this whole thing. We're in the month of love. Look, I was getting love all. I've been struck by cupids bow. Fingers crossed. I'm actually working Valentine's Day.

Are you? Yeah, I'm closing. Oh my god. What a vibe would that be? Imagine if someone- If I met. What are you doing tonight? No, I was just like, that's no bigger like, you'll have nothing to do. So I'll put you on the closing shift. Thought, it's fine. No problem. You're joking about it.

It's no problem. Do you know what's funny? My friend said to me, she's recently started seeing this guy and they were like trying to work out when they're like one year will be and they were like, no, they're six months will be. Yeah. You're like, when is that? And they looked February 14th, it's all six months. And I was like, I'm

sure it is. I was like, love it. But guys, third of February, we're here. We're into a new month. February, it's my birthday month. It's Pigeon's birthday month. And also, bit by bit, because we always look at the positives, bit by bit, it's getting lighter. It is. I have noticed this. I remember being at work and being like looking out and it being three and it started to go dark.

Now it sticks until about 445. Not even five. It's pretty good, isn't it? It's pretty banging. It's doing its job. Well, it is. Good job, son. Yeah.

How do you feel? It's going to be your birthday. What are you going to turn, Katie? 24. Are you nervous?'s gonna be a birthday? What are you gonna turn Katie? 24. Are you nervous? But 24 is a nice number. 24 is a nice number and it feels kind of like, oh, you're an adult. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they'll be like, how old are you? Mid 20s. Don't, oh wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow your, slow your horses. Sorry grandma for that.

Will you say mid twenties or will you still say early twenties? That is early twenties. 25 is mid twenties. Okay, fair enough. 25 to 30 is mid twenties. I'd say 27 is late twenties. Okay, so 26 is still early twenties. 25, 26, I'm like, oh, I'm in my mid twenties.

27, I'm like late twenties. Right, okay. And then- No, I reckon you'll turn 27. You're like, I'm in my mid twenties. I'm in my mid twenties. 30, I'll be like, but I'm in my mid-twenties. 27 I'm like late twenties. Right. Okay. And then- No, I reckon you'll turn 27. You're like, I'm in my mid-twenties. I'm in my mid-twenties. 30 I'll be like, my late-ish twenties.

Late-ish. Late twenties, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm still not like okay with 24. I don't know why. I think it's a nice number. Do you? Mmm, really nice number. Okay. Yeah.

It's like, I loved turning 22, although I loved my 21st birthday. Yeah. I loved turning 22 because great number. I always think we're the same age. I always think we're the same age. Every single time I'm like- I was going to ask how old you were going because I get confused with like the months. I literally go, I'm like, oh, it's so fine.

I'm turning 23. Yeah. And I'm like, no, I am. I am 23. Yeah. You're turning 23. I know. I know. I know. I'm like, no, I am, I am 23. You're turning 23. I know, I know. Do you ever think, do you ever think that I'm older than you?

No, no. Do you know what? But it's endearing. Thank you, darling. I never think that I'm older than you. It's so funny though, because you're like the baby in the family. And the baby in the friendships. And the baby in the flat. Oh, and 100% baby.

But hey, we cuddle you with open arms. Oh, you do. You guys do look after me and cuddle me. But I get away with things that maybe you and I don't, and I'll be like... I'm watched by a hawk by these boys that run this flat. I get away with niche. You get away this flat. I get away with niche. You get away with niche. I get away with niche in this flat. It's terrible, honestly.

Farnatey. Right, tell me, shall we? Yes. Okay. My mantra this week is, I take it day by day. Oh, lovely. Which I like. Yeah, I like that.

I think I've been stressing so much about like, oh my God, like, I need to think about next week and the week after and everything. And then I need to plan out my week. I'm like, just take a day at a time. 100%. So easy. I find that always like simplifies my mindset as well. Yeah. Because I think from two very ambitious women, like we want this, we want this, we want this. But sometimes we miss all the bits in between. Like literally, but you can't do that without doing this. And that's a huge step. Like, you know, that I've said it before on the part, but there's two photos of a ladder, a ladder with tiny steps. And that person gets there way quicker than the one with the

huge gaps because they're trying to pull up and reach for the next step and they can't get there, you know? So, step by step, day by day. Yeah. So what's your mantra? My mantra this week is, so it's quite a long one actually. So, because I had a great January. So January set the tone with joy and fulfillment, okay? This energy is just the beginning and my year will only get brighter and better. I know. I was like, bloody hell, what's going on? It's like bloody... Nice little opening introduction there.

Yes, introduction. February. Yes, it is. Because I was thinking, I don't, you know, I've loved January so much. I was like, well, don't mourn it. See that it's going to carry on into February. Starting like the first month off of 2025 really well is a huge achievement in itself. So don't be like, oh well. Be like, no, okay, and what's next? Keep these good vibes fucking going.

Oh yeah, 100%. Yeah. Keeping the good vibes. Also, this is kind of psychotic, but it's really helped me recently. If I'm like panicking or feeling like I need some positive energy, I just smile. And I instantly, I instantly feel better. Like thinking of smiling, I'm like smile and then I smile and I'm designing and I'm like, I feel so much better.

It is a psychological thing though. I have heard that. Try it, try it, try it. You don't have to try it out. You don't have to get me. I'll be like feeling a bit stressed or like, oh, and I'll just go. And I'll be like, oh my god. I literally feel so much better. Oh my word smells away. I'm literally like a self-healer. Oh my god I'm nailed it I feel so much better. Oh my god. I love that. Weird right? Okay. So my song for this one week is One way or another I'm gonna find you Bang on I'm gonna get you get you get gonna get you, get you, get you, get you one way, maybe

next week. I was like, why have I never done this as a rock and roll, as a song? It's so good. Really good song. It's so, and you know what, I actually listened, I was at work and the One Direction mashup came on, the teenage kicks one way or another, mashup, and I was like, fuck, it's such a good song. Such a good song. Such a good song.

And by Blondie. I don't know Blondie's music. Blondie. Oh, Blondie. You'll know it if you hear it. Yeah. Because I was like singing, it came on, I was like, this is definitely going to be my song. And then I was like, who sings this? And it was like Blondie. I was like, who are you? I was like, I'm the Blondie. Hello. Yeah I was the blondie. I was like, hello. Yeah, tell me your song. My song is, it's a Sarah Hay. I don't know, I can't remember who it's by. I will find out who it's by. But you know, like, so this song came up on TikTok and I was like, forgot

this was a banger. Then I've now become like hyper fixated on it. It's kind of like a Latin vibe. But it's a Spanish song, right? Okay. But it's on the school discos all the time. And I thought the lyrics were, I said a hey, ha, a hey. But it's actually a serahay. Like as in Spanish, it's like Spanish. But it's you know, the song is like, I said a hey, ha, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a hey, a, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey And I'm walking to work and I'm like, that is a tune actually.

I fucking love it. That is a tune. It gives me like summer vibes while I'm cooking. Yeah, it does. Especially with it getting lighter now, it's like bringing those summer vibes to me. Our flatmate walked in while I had it on full blast cooking my dinner and I was like, hello? Did you like the song? I was like, yeah, this is a is a bench really, go and Spanish!

It's not Spanish, it's not hey, ho, hey! It's acera hey! I love it! Right, should we do racca? Yes, a racca, a racca, a racca-pendation! This week's recommendation is, has to be, Kissing McHale and Little Women. It has to be. I went to see it a very pathetic amount,

only two times in comparison to Archie who saw it all six nights. And your parents who saw it all six nights. Out of my friends you saw it the most. You came twice. Yeah you're winning, you are my friends, you saw it the most. You came twice. Yeah, you're winning. You are winning. And you came on the most, opening and closing. Yeah, I bookended it. Saw it in all its glory first night. Saw it in everyone's book.

Which one did you prefer, opening night or closing? Because opening night, you had your friend there, the lovely Macdonald trial, didn't you? Yes. So I preferred, I loved closing night. But I also liked opening and closing night for two different reasons. Because I think opening night, it's the excitement where you're all like, Oh my god, I'm so excited to see everyone. We're doing it. It's the first performance. But then the that's

the excitement I love to see. And the second one was like, it was so settled in you guys. And then it was just a well oiled machine. And I was like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you would have seen quite a difference actually, because they were like those nights in between. So you would have was like, oh yeah. Yeah. And you would have seen quite a difference actually, because there were those nights in between. So you would have been like, oh my God, there's a big jump. Yes. You know, it was so interesting, like some nights and don't like I literally had the bestest time. I love, I was playing Amy as I know I've said before. Yeah.

And I love her. She's just like the best. And I, I even when I said to you, I was auditioning for Little Women, you were like, it must be Amy. I was like, yes, for sure. Yeah, it was just such a great experience. But as the cast, sometimes our best nights like or what we pursue as a bad performance, the audience like that was great. It's honestly, we had so many performances of Into the Woods where we walked out and we were like that did not go well like that and the audience you never want to rely on audience interaction but like you don't when it helps when they're quiet you're like are you hating this everyone hates this

and then they walk out and they're like fucking laughter yeah 100% laugh then yeah yeah yeah right laugh right please i know it was so funny because we loved it so much. Obviously, Katie's got all her empty knowledge. But then we cast it as Katie's like cohort when she was like doing the empty at Lambda. So I was like, let's cast it. You'd so be Jo. You would love to be Jo. I just don't know if I'm intense enough. No, no, you suit a Jo. Like I think we even like your hair, like your albino, I think you'd just be perfect as Joe. I'd love to do Joe. I was like, it was so funny because some people were really sweet like afterwards and be like,

so like how did you feel? I was like, yeah, I loved it. It was really, really good. They were like, would you have wanted to do any of the other sisters? I was like, no. I was like, no, no, no. And not because they're bad parts, just because I'm so not suited to them. Meg, the girl who plays Meg, my angel, she has the

most incredible voice. Such a gorgeous voice. Yeah. And she had to sing bloody high. And I'm like, yeah, no, no, no. Then Beth, the girl who played Beth, she was amazing. But she was a very demure, like sweet character, low key. And there's nothing about Kitty Manil that's low key. So I was like, I know I'm acting, but come on. And then Joe, I just, I don't relate to her character. I do relate to the ambition, but I think story-wise, Amy is so emotional. And that's like so me. Yeah. But yeah may. Yeah. I love thank you for the recommendation. Gorgeous.

Shall we? Let's debrief. That was my transition. Oh, yeah, yeah, just getting ready. As it's my birthday month, guys. And I, we've been talking a lot about birthdays, like, in our own time. And we are doing an episode all about birthday disasters. Sometimes birthdays don't go the way you planned. Some people hate birthdays. That's mad to me. And you love birthday. To be honest, I am on the fence about birthdays. You're not as big as a birthday as I am. I'm very happy with just a very quaint little meal. We had a nice birthday for us last year, didn't we? Yeah, we had a lovely meal and then maybe a drink or two and back to my bed.

Quality time, you know, nothing crazy. You love the quality time, yeah. But the thought of doing something, because obviously I want to do something for my birthday this year, but the thought of doing it scares me so much because I'm like, if everyone has a shit time, oh darling, think back and they go, when was that? Katie's birthday. Oh, you always think like that. You're so cute. There's the pressure. Yeah, there is. Because it's your names on the event card. Yeah, yeah, there is pressure. I do get that. And especially when, like I remember even on my 21st, like how big that was. Yes, like I'm doing shit in myself. Yeah, yeah. Like it's like, okay, the minute that marquee went up, I would have been

cacking me pants. I would have been like, no, it's intense. Yeah. But actually, like what you're doing for your birthday this year, I think you've told us you briefed before. Yeah. But like, you've got such a great group of people who genuinely want to be there, but also love you. So I think don't stress about being like, it'll be shit. Because we'll all be like, few drinks and us. Amazing. Yeah, loving life. We'll love it. So we asked the debrief to send in some birthday disasters before we hit our dilemmas. And these

are some of my favorite. Okay, tell me. So my 25th birthday was supposed to be this cute relaxing weekend getaway. I went to Lakeside cottage months in advance and I was so excited. But of course, the universe had other plans. Oh no. I showed up early to set up only to find out there'd been a booking mix up and the place was already taken. I spent hours trying on the phone trying to figure something out and finally ended up at this really sketchy Airbnb. I thought it would be fine but around 2am the fire alarms went off and wouldn't stop.

I couldn't get the host on the phone so had to lie there listening to the noise for hours. The next day my friends all arrived and we were determined to have fun so we decided to rent a boat but surprise the boat place was closed for no reason. So we ended back up at the Airbnb, hoping to salvage the day with my birthday cake, except the bakery got my order wrong. So instead of the cute birthday, I'd imagine they sent a retirement cake with all people figurines fishing on it. Not exactly the vibe I was going for. But by the end of the day, I was just done. But the best part, I get home, check my phone and my mum had texted me Happy birthday two days early. Honestly, at that point, I just laughed. You can't win them all. Lesson learned,

always have a backup plan and just stick to dinner. Well, there we go. That's what you're saying. I could see this happening to me though, where I'm like, I booked it all it's all like in in great order. Yeah. And I'm like, the thing that would get me is this is that fucking fire alarm. Oh, that that would be like, because you think one thing and then you're like, let's do the boat and the boats close then let's do the K and that's close and then you'd be like, and your mother who gave birth to you is like, happy birthday. You're like, two days early. Two days early. Two days early. A bit premature. Yeah. I feel like I think that's, that's when it's quite good when you either do a join or like you leave your boy. Like when I said to Arj, I want to do this, like I want to go to Devon. So I booked the house. You were all brilliant. Sent the money. We booked the house. Great. Yeah. But then itinerary, I left it to Arj. Because I was like, it's my birthday, I don't want to be stressing about it. So I get what you mean.

What do you want to do for your birthday? I'm thinking about this, Katie, because Arj, she said to me recently, you need to start planning. I was like, don't say that. In fairness, you're all right. It's only February. Thank you, I've got six months. I'm stressing. You're fine. I think I would love to do something similar like Devon again. That'd be nice. But I want Jack and Edie to come as well. I was saying to them, I was like. I think I would love to do something similar like Devon again. That'd be nice.

But I want Jack and Edie to come as well. I was saying to them, I really, really want them to come now. But I don't know because I love Devon. I'm definitely getting fucking insurance on that car though for someone else to drive. That was mega. I was about to say. I'll put you and Jack on actually. Yeah, I'll do it. And then, oh shit. Oh wow. No, it's all right. I'm like, because I'm like, I don't want to be driving that full. But then I was even

thinking maybe like we could do an Airbnb in the Cotswolds, like, because that's not as far. I have never been to the Cotswolds and I would love to go. The only thing I loved about Devon is we were at the beach. And that made my birthday really special. Like, being at the beach. And that made my birthday really special. Like being at the beach in England is quite rare. Yeah. And especially we were blessed with such lovely weather. One week you and Ethan were so burnt. You were so burnt.

I was so burnt. You were so rough. I was so, my feet, my feet burnt. It was fucking ridiculous. And that's not the first time my feet have burnt in Cornwall. Last time I was in Cornwall my feet burnt as well the time before that. You remember you were in that dress for your graduation and you were like, my feet are still so sore. I had my fucking, I had open toe shoes on that were white against my squashy red feet with my toes clinging off the sides, my Morton toe.

Darling. And I'm like, yay, graduation. Graduation like this. Yeah, so I'm like, yay, congratulations. Yeah. So I'm thinking I want to do something similar, maybe do Cornwall because I haven't done, I did Devon last time. Maybe. Cornwall is a little bit easier by train.

Oh really? A little bit because Salkum was lovely, but it was like, what was it like? It's about a half an hour drive from the nearest train station. Yeah. My only concern is I want to go somewhere that I'm guaranteed like, because I'd been to Solcom before, so I was like, I know there are really cute places. Yeah, yeah. You know, but hey, ho, I've got time, Kate.

Hey, get planning. It's the beauty of it. Get the mind map out. Okay, so I've got one from one girl, she says. Oh, please let go. Okay, let me tell you girls about the time I learned piñatas are not as fun as they seem. Take you back to my eighth birthday, which was a garden fairy party. Cupcakes, balloons and of course a giant unicorn piñata my parents had hung up in a tree. When it was piata time, when it was pinata time,

I was blindfolded, spun around and handed a stick. I swung on my mind fully expecting, well she must be American, she says candy, candy to rain down. Instead I heard a thunk followed by a loud dramatic groan. Turns out my dad hadn't moved out of the way, so my piñata stick hit him square in his stick if you get my drift. Oh no! I'm horrendous! And he went down like a sack of potatoes. Meanwhile, I'm blindfolded and confused, swinging away still, hitting my dad across the head, thinking it was the piñata, with my mum shouting, stop! Stop! Eventually Eventually I pulled off the blindfold

to find my dad lying on the grass groaning while all the other parents stood awkwardly sipping a glass of wine. The worst part no one let me hit the pinata again. They just cut it open with scissors and handed out the sweets. Like they were in some dystopian birthday future I still can't look at a pinata without feeling sad that I never got to hit it down to the ground. Yeah. That's brilliant. Honestly, that's such a British thing as well. We're not going to hit it anymore. Let's take it down carefully.

I know. Open it up and hand it out calmly. Let's be sensible, okay? Let's be sensible. Okay, thank you. Yeah. That's so funny. I know. I was like, bless her. Oh, bless her. She was just trying to have... Did you ever have a pinata? I know. I sure did. I know. I don't think I have. I remember doing one at a friend's party. Tilly. Yeah, Tilly's party. But I don't remember

having one myself. You know what went really hard all the birthday parties big win in my eyes, pass the parcel. Loved it. Pass the parcel. I fucking love. the parcel. Love that. I fucking love. I still to this day, maybe I'll do it for my 30th. Maybe because I still want to have a kids themed party. Oh, go on. Do you ever remember like, where you'd have like the village hall? Like your friend in school would book out the village hall for their party and you'd

have like Wotsits, cheese sticks, cocktail sausages, party rings, you go in your best frock. I'd always go in this chiffon thing that could catch fire at any moment in my best frock. We'd have a little disco. But then I want to do that where we all come dressed as how we would have in like the 2000s. Side ponies, I used to have like the 2000s. That's so cool. That's a great idea. Side ponies. I used to have like a side pony bedazzled like shit. Chokers, do you remember? Chokers, go like that. But then we'd just have alcoholic drinks.

So instead of like orange squash, we'd have like vodka and squash. And actually do the games. And do pass the parcel. We do musical statues. We do twister. So much fun. It would be so much fun. That would be brilliant, especially with a few drinks.

I've wanted to do this genuinely for years. I've never heard of this. You should definitely do that. Like- Or even for your 25th would be quite fun. That could be quite fun. Like the little where they do scouts in- That'd be so funny. Yeah. It'd be so fun.

That'd be so good. I'd love to do that. I would love to do it. Yeah. Have you got another? I do. Okay. Tell me. So my 30th birthday was a big plan. 30th has a lot of pressure on 30th. No, the big 3-0 scares me.

Because you and I still have 3-0, so we're fine. But I think we've got a few friends that are approaching the 3-0 and they're like, don't because I have to do something big. I think 30th is the new fifth day, if I'm being honest. I think that's very poetic of you. Thank you. I'm very ahead of the times. I think 30 is the new fifth day, if I'm being honest. I think that's very poetic of you. Thank you. I actually agree. You want to do something classy, but also feral. It's got to have a bit of both. You're not ancient, but you're not a shop.

But it was interesting because a girl I know recently, turned 13, she was going to have a big party. She's going to book a private room at a restaurant. But maybe it's London, maybe it's the restaurant industry. Thieving bastards. She had to pay like, to be fair, where she was booking was spending, but the room itself was too grand and then there had to be no food. And then there was a minimum spend of like 1500 quid, which I'm sure with the amount of people she was inviting, we would have covered. But I was like, two grand for a room in a restaurant? That was fucking ridiculous. But she says, I rented this amazing rooftop venue. Oh hi to DJ see classy can get federal I thought yeah and invited all my closest friends. Everything was going great until my ex-boyfriend showed up uninvited

What we'd broken up a year ago and I made it clear I didn't want him there. But of course he found out and decided to just show up I don't understand people who crash parties I'm sorry if people crash parties you have the biggest fucking titties or bollocks It takes a lot. You cannot see me at somewhere where I'm sorry, if people crash parties, you have the biggest fucking titties or bollocks. It takes a lot. You cannot see me at somewhere where I'm not wanted. I barely arrive at a party I'm invited to. I was like, I'm sorry, Jackie, can you give me another show about your gaity braids?

I said, wait a minute, Matthew. I was like, she was fucking iconic. They were like, what? I turned around and she'd be gone. They were like, where'd she go? I was like, she'd sit in her room, put a timer? I turned around and she'd be gone. They were like, where'd she go? I was like, she'd sit in her room, put a timer on for 15 minutes, look out the room and it was dark. She turned the lights off and I'd be like, what are you doing?

You're like, I just need 15 minutes. I honestly think COVID took any social energy I had out of me for a whole minute. I did it recently and I was like- Did you? I haven't seen you do a Katie breaking agent. I did it recently. I sat on the edge of my bed and I was like, I haven't seen you a Katie breaking agent. I did it recently. I sat on the edge of my bed and I was like, here we are again. Here we are again. Hello, familiar friends. I was like, wow, nothing has changed. But so he shows up uninvited. I was pissed off but tried to keep it together because the

party was going well, drinks were flowing, everyone's dancing. I quickly outdote the drama. My act showed up on my par say, I'd be like, I'm so fucking lovable. People just show up in my life. Especially ex of a year ago and he's like, I've got to show up. Yeah, come on. Come on. Come on. You want me.

You want me. You miss me. Yeah. So the party was going well, drinks flowing, everyone dancing until my ex-boyfriend pulls out his phone and started filming me on the dance floor. I told him to stop, but he posted the video on his Instagram story saying, happy 30th birthday to the love of my life. Very embarrassing. Everyone was staring and I could feel the tension rising in the room. Then out of nowhere, my best friend Sarah starts crying in the corner. So I rush over to her

and she drops the bomb that she's been secretly dating Mark for months. Whilst I was planning this whole party, Sarah had been seeing my ex behind my back. I was beyond livid and the whole vibe of the party just shattered. I had to leave early and when I checked my phone, I saw Mark had posted a pic, oh, Mark's ex-boyfriend, of him and Sarah together at the party with some cryptic caption about finding love when you least expect it. So yes, my 30th birthday was a total disaster. Never mix exes, friends and social media. Lesson learned. What?

What was she saying? This is batshit. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So he videoed this girl, as in the birthday girl. Video of the party of them all dancing. She's dancing. He's like, oh, take a video. And she's like, oh, what the fuck? That's really weird.

Take it down. He posts it saying, happy birthday to the love of my life. But they've been broken up for a year. Then fucking Sarah in the corner is bawling her eyes out. She's like, that's my boyfriend. Oh, that's why she's crying. Yeah. Shit, shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I thought it was guilt tears. No, she's crying because she's like, she's like, I'm still loving life. She's like, I'm with you. Right. You know what hair snakes are from all account. Also, Sarah fucking crying at my birthday. Could you have not waited for the boxing day? My birthday boxing day? I think you need to call-

My BB day? You need to call BB day? Could you not have waited one day? Like that would have f- The ex comment is kind of iconic, but I would be like, what are you doing there? Yeah. But then she's like, I've been seeing him behind you. I'd be like, just leave. Just go. I get what she means. It changes the vibe. Like now you're a bit like, cause then everyone's

looking at you like, are you okay? Yeah. So you're better than this. Just go. I get what she means it changes the vibe. Now you're a bit like, because then everyone's looking at you like, are you okay? Yeah. So you're better than this. Weird vibes. Weird. Okay. Hi gullies. Love the pod.

This happened on my 18th birthday and it's become the ultimate family joke. My mom, bless her, wanted to make it extra special by filling the living room with helium balloons. She went all out. My favorite color is purple, so they were all purple. I'm talking balloons everywhere, tied to the chair, floating on the ceiling, even a big 18 purple balloon arch. I came downstairs feeling like a princess until my little brother got hold of one of the helium canisters. He thought it'd be very funny to inhale the helium and do his Donald Duck voice, which was hilarious until he dared everyone else to try.

Fast forward to 20 minutes and my family is sitting around the table sounding like Chipmunk choir altogether laughing so hard with crying. It really made the day so special. Then my granddad, who's 75 and a bit competitive, took the challenge a little bit too far and held a huge gulp of helium, stood up to do a speech about me, instead of talking, got dizzy and passed out on his way down. He took the cake down with him from the table, passed out with a cake on his stomach, woke up, didn't understand what had happened. We panicked thinking we killed him. But he came to a second later with a perfect buttercream beard. Now every year my family gets one, one, only one helium balloon and says remember one's

enough. Oh my god that's so funny. You would think granddad's died. Granddad's dead. On me bee day. On me bee day he's gone down. That's the most normal thing. The granddad passing, everyone has their time.

But on me bee day. Oh me bee day. Wait till the clock strikes midnight. It's funny because Arch was like in a similar position that he had someone pass away on his birthday. Remember when we were in Mount View, someone passed away. And it does change the vibe. Of course it does. Because it's like, well, I don't want to be insensitive now. I don't want to really celebrate my birthday. But I remember, I think that was Archie's 19th, wasn't it? And I remember Arch being like, yeah, that was a tough one. Well, yeah. Because it changes her. It completely changes her. Because you don't want to be

like, guys, it's my birthday. Yeah, exactly. It's like being respectful. Yeah, it completely changes it because you don't want to be like, guys, it's my birthday. Yeah, exactly. It's like being respectful. Okay, so we've got some dilemmas now from our listeners about birthdays specifically. So we've got one here. Hi girls, how are you? We're very good.

Thank you. I'm absolutely fabulous. Thank you. Very, very good. Hope you had a lovely Christmas. I wrote this back in December, but thought it was really relevant now. Love that. Every year, my sister gets me the worst birthday present imaginable. I know, I know, she says. It's the thought that counts, right?

Well, is it? Well, is it? Is it? Is it? You saw what I'm going to say. Actually, it was quite funny. I was talking recently to Jack from Little Women and we were talking about love languages and saying like, what's important to us and stuff. And I was like, guess what? And he was like, GIFs has got to be up there for you.

Oh, he's done your... I thought, you know what? You know what it is. Yeah, yeah. You're correct. Do you know what's hilarious? Because when people say like GIFs don't really mean a lot to me. I've said in the past, yeah, me too. And I'm like, I'm lying. I love it. Okay. I know. I know. Everyone says it's the thought that counts. Right. But last year, she literally gave me a pack of cleaning sponges and a fridge magnet that said, wine not. I don't even drink wine.

That would piss me off. Here's the, you'd love that. I'll go do that. Here's the kicker. She loves her birthday. She expects expensive, thoughtful gifts, big celebrations, the whole nine yards. But when it comes to mine, it's like she's swung by the petrol station on the way over and grabbed me whatever was on sale. Now my birthday is coming up in February.

Oh, my cute peas. Twin posies. Now my birthday is coming up in February and I'm dreading opening her gift in front of everyone because it's guaranteed to be something that will make me question our relationship. I know I shouldn't, but it's really starting to piss me off to the point where I'm around her. I don't really want to speak to her because I feel like I make all the effort with her birthday, planning big events. For example, last year we all went to Paris, which I organized her, me and her two best friends, but getting a wine not fridge magnet just felt like a little bit of a slap in the face.

And to be honest, I felt I was taken for granted. Fair f**ks. Do I call her out or do I laugh it off or do I just stop buying her nice gifts altogether? Maybe then I won't be hurt. What do you think?" Bekkah It's really, I think you can do both. I think you can have a little like prod about it, but can also be like, but seriously, like if you want me to book you a fucking trip to Paris, you're gonna have to get me something better than a magnet. I think it's really hard because

yeah. I think my personal opinion is if this was a friend to not say anything, but it's your fucking sister. Yeah, it is your sister. Your sister has to love you. Yeah. Like she's locked in. She's locked in. She's locked in. Like I've said shit to my sister, I couldn't say to other people. I'm sure you have when you were younger and all like had an attitude

like I can't do that to a friend, which isn't facts. We love our sisters. But like my, my sister, like for example, I'm going to give you a good example here. So my sister, she's an opera singer. She asked me for her birthday to get her an opera book. I said no, I'm not getting you that. I'm going to get you something really expensive that you wouldn't buy for yourself. So I got a Beats headphones. And I was like, fantastic. And she was that she loves them. She adores them. She wears them all the time. So I was like, great. But she could have said like, I love these, but actually I just wanted to join in. And I wouldn't, I would have been a bit like, thought maybe they were so expensive,

but I get it. I think with sisters, you can have that boundary. And as Katie said, the wine not fridge magnets are slap in the face. It's a bit hard because it's also one of those things like, you surely know me better than a magnet. You know I don't drink wine. Why are you getting me that? Yeah, that's the thing that's annoying. It's not even linked to like a funny inside joke you guys have had. Yeah, that's the thing that's really annoying because I think if it was thought for like you were planning on, I don't know, putting together your own wine vineyard and you were going to call it wine not, I don't know. You think, oh that's so sweet. But it's like,

you know, art always goes really big on my, I mean, I'm a huge birthday person. So I taught him to be a huge birthday person and now he is. But like, it's like him doing huge things for me and then me being like, all right, pal, like, I'll get you a teddy. I think you need to say to her, I love you. I really, really love you. But I love celebrating your birthday because I know you're a birthday person. I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm actually a birthday person too. Like, I'll be honest,

it kind of upset me when you had a huge celebration and don't get me wrong, I loved it. I love celebrating it. And I just got a little magnet. And look, maybe your sister doesn't think you like your birthday celebration. She could think, okay, she's not really into that. But give her the chance to change. Or send her a list. Send her a list. I love a wish list. Yeah, send her a list.

Send her a list. Make her life easier. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, that's good advice. Yeah. Okay. Good luck.

Good luck. So this one is so fickle. Oh, go on. Just general human awkwardness I love. So, girls, I need some advice because I'm stuck here. My birthday's coming up and I've been planning a super chill dinner with a few close friends, nothing fancy, just a low key night at my favorite restaurant. However, my not so close friend, let's call her Jordan, messages me out of nowhere saying, Hey, I've

heard about your birthday plans. I would love to come and catch up. Let me know if I'm invited. Bold. Look, we used to be close, but we've kind of drifted apart. Long story short, Jordan's not really my vibe anymore. She tends to make everything about her and I'm really not in the mood for that drama on my birthday. But of course, if I don't invite her, I know she'll be upset. So do I stick to my original plan and keep my birthday small and stress free? Or do I invite her to avoid the awkwardness and risk turning my night into a drama fest? What would you do? Now, it's your birthday. Okay, look, I'm really strong on this. I'm so strong on this. It's

your birthday, okay? You have literally just put it out yourself. Can it be a nice stress-free evening? Yes, it's your birthday. You keep it that way. You keep it. All the girls or the guys or anyone, all the people that you want there, text her back saying it'd be lovely to catch up. Unfortunately, I've already organized my birthday and it's just a small group of us. What, are you free for coffee next week? Don't say something like there aren't enough spaces or it's all prepaid. Don't say anything like that because people find ways to wrangle around that. So just say something like, it's organized already, but why don't we catch up for coffee next week? Keep it like that. Don't let her find, it's like, oh, it's too far away.

I'm actually there that weekend. So don't just keep it. And it doesn't need to be bitchy. There are some people in my life that are really nice, but they're not coming to my birthday. They are not coming. And it's not because I don't like them. It's because I know that with a certain group of people in my life, there is no stress. And I know that when I'm around you, when you know the group I'm talking about, when I'm around those people, I feel so calm. And I'm like, I feel loved. I feel non judged. And I'm sure she feels the same. Yeah. So go stick to your guns. Yeah, stick to your guns. It is. Yeah, that's just uncomfortable. Bold as well being like, where's my invite?

Bold, bold, bold, bold as well being like, where's my invite? I will never assume I'm invited until someone goes, you're invited by the way. Because I don't want to be a dick. No, I would never be like, Oh, what time do I need to be there? I would never. I will say this happened to me actually quite recently. And it was so embarrassing because there was basically an event at work that two girls got invited to. I was there when they got invited. Well, one of them got invited and said, you can bring whoever.

So she then starts talking about the event to the both of us being like, I'm so excited. Oh my God, what are we going to wear? And I'm thinking, you haven't explicitly said, come, you've just kind of started talking about it. Oh my god, this is so uncomfortable. So then I'm kind of like, oh yeah, like, it's being like, you guys will have such a good time. Oh bless you.

Like, oh yeah, that would be great, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, oh yeah, it's going to be so great, blah, blah, blah. And I'm thinking, am I invited? Went into work the next day and I'm like, oh, and she's talking about it again. And I'm like, oh yeah, what are you planning on wearing? And then I was like, oh yeah, and then who's going, it'll be you, the other person we were with. And she was like, oh yeah, just us two and my housemate. I'm like, delightful. I would have been mortified if I was like, oh my God, what time are we going to meet for pre? Oh my God, no, no, no, no, no.

Because then it would have been a pity invite. Yes. And no one wants that. Maybe some people do. But just, I think you handled that perfectly. Yeah. I think you had, and because I think sometimes you see people as well like, Oh, when they're not invited, I'm like, you can still be happy for people.

Even, you know, like, yeah, 100%. You don't want to go where you're not wanted anyway. No, no, no, you don't. Okay, I've got one more that I really, really have to read. Hi Kitty and Katie, my birthday is religious to me. Like looking in a mirror. Yeah, how was I? Okay, you go.

I planned a big karaoke night for my 21st. Oh my god, love 21st, congratulations. Yeah, sorry, big karaoke night for my 21st because I love singing in brackets badly and thought it'd be so much fun. Yeah. I was so excited to go, to belt out all my go-to songs, someone like you even if I get a bit emotional after a few drinks. Fantastic. But here's where it gets awkward. My boyfriend's sister, who I don't even know that well, but felt obligated to invite completely, hijacked the night. She put her name down for every other song and treated it like a fucking X-Factor. She sang Adele, Amy Winehouse and even a four

minute ballad from Les Mis. That would piss me off. Meanwhile, I got exactly one song and the mic cut out halfway through because the DJ said the time slot was up. That was pissing me off. It wasn't just the karaoke. She was constantly pulling my friends away to help her pick a song or to go to the toilet or to go get a drink. It was like she couldn't stand that people were there for me. She's always given me bad vibes. Interesting. But this felt personal, almost like she was jealous of the attention or something. By the end of the night, it didn't even feel like my birthday anymore. It felt like her night.

Even to the point where some of my friends had never met her before, so they were coming up to me saying, oh my God, such and such, I won't say her name. It's so nice. She's so much fun. Isn't she hilarious? But to be honest, I just felt pissed off. Now I'm stuck. I don't want her at any future events or birthdays about me. And I really want to talk to my

boyfriend, but we are early days. We're five months in. I really, really like him, but I seriously do not like her. However, I don't want to start a family feud. Am I overthinking this or is she trying to mark her territory with my friends? I honestly don't know how to handle that, but I am fuming." That's really hard because it seems like a very like, to me, it seems, I feel like because you think it's personal, go with that gut feeling. Trust your gut. But that's so weird.

I have seen, not personally, not with like Archie sisters or anything, but especially with women. I think when women get territorial with their brother or with a friend, or they can heighten like their personality or themselves to like, try to put you down. Yes. And look, I don't know this girl, but this kind of sounds like it. Like why on your night would she get up there and do multiple songs without you having any considerate person would be like, Oh my God, Kate, say it was yours. Kate, go out, go on, it's your

birthday, it's your birthday. Not be like, sit down, I'm going for Les Mis. It's always quite awkward, isn't it? Yeah. Especially since you don't know her that well. Yeah. Maybe she didn't even know her that well, but felt obligated to invite. Do you think she got like overexcited that she was like included? I don't even know her that well, but felt obligated to invite. Do you think she got like overexcited that she was like included?

I'd love to know if she's older or younger, because I think that changes the vibe. Yeah, she's giving like younger vibes from that. I think maybe she was excited to be included and got like a bit too overexcited, maybe. I think it's hard because it's done now. But I would have a word with your boyfriend and just be like, look, I really do appreciate how your sister acted my birthday. Be still positive because at the end of the day, that is his family. And be like, it was so lovely having her there. She's such a good, say she's got a lot of energy. There we go. That's like in between. She's got a lot of energy. But just say, to be honest, I kind

of felt she hijacked. Like, I didn't even get to do one song. She got to do a few and I didn't see my friends for most of the night because they were off with her. I think leave it at that and see what he says. I think there's nothing more you can do now other than to know to not invite her to like your stuff. However, if she starts reaching out to your friends that would fuck me off. I want to just talk to your girls about it. Like if it was you and like, you know, if it was like you and Seth and I'd like chat to you and be like, this is pissing me off. And you two then I know would have my back and be like, I've got you don't worry. Like we won't, we won't engage with that. We'll be polite, but we won't. And I'm sure your girls will be able to reassure you that. And I don't

come from the side of, she's a bitch, come from, it really upset me. Because then the girls will be like, oh, I'm so sorry and understand you a bit more. Yeah, 100%. Cool. You got it girl. Are you ready? Let's do it. Okay, I've got two. I've got one. Okay, so I'll ping pong you. Yes. Okay, the first one is watching someone and I say someone but a man. Again, I shouldn't but I am. But do it. Swap hands when carrying a shopping bag. It really specific but I see it. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? I was walking home and don't get me wrong,

I'm a hypocrite. I'm the biggest hypocrite put my hypocrite crown on. I was swapping my hands and I was huffing and puffing. It was real, real trauma. And there was a man ahead of me doing the exact same and he was like, I get you. And I was like, you don't. I've got dainty, delicate hands. Look at my delicate. And it was like the fucking sack. I was like struggling with the bag for life. Yeah. After my performances, poor Arch, I gave him like four or five bags to carry. Yeah. I didn't see swapping hands. No, no. He just looks like a sexy beast. Soldiers on. Soldiers on in silence. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. No complaints. Thank you very much. Right. You ready? Yeah.

Now this is a bit selfish. Tell me. Joint birthday posts. Nah, fuck that. Fuck that. That angers me. So, I... Fun fact about me. Tell me. In secondary school, I shared my birthday with four other people in my year.

I'm so sorry for you. It was never your day. I think that's why, I do. I think that's genuinely why I'm not a big birthday person. Because it was fucking every fucker's birthday in my year, great. It was my year group. Genuinely, it was a joke. It was genuinely a joke. And my secondary school and my primary school were linked. So I went to the same primary school and the same secondary school. And it was a very small year group and most of the people stayed in primary and secondary. We grew up together. So it was literally three of us, including, no,

yeah, three of us and me, so four of us had the same birthday from year three until fucking year 11. And you were at school. And then one person joined in year seven and we're like, oh, nice to be, we're doing like a fun little icebreaker. When's your birthday? February 25th. And I thought you're fucking kidding me. You would have been livid. And they were all boys. And then the thing that got me,

the thing that really grinded my gears is I wake up on my birthday. Oh, outpouring of love from my friends. Let me see. Oh, it's a collage with everyone posting photos of everyone in one collage. And it's just happy birthday, Katie, XYZ and whatever. And I'm there in the corner in one collage and it's just happy birthday, KT, XYZ and whatever. I'm not having that. And I'm there in the corner in one of the photos just that piss me off. Now let's count back. Okay. Eight months before.

Why is everyone so hot? So February, January, December, November, October, September, August, July, June. So spring, spring, spring, spring. My mum's birthday. Right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Stage manager kept doing, okay. I was like, I'm going to hit you. Annoying. Okay. Interesting. Springtime was the time to reproduce. Well, I'm like, I know you used to view me and I always feel bad for people. Like, if

I was a twin, I would expect two separate birthday posts. Are you joking me? Like if my twin fucking Katherine, it's her birthday, I'm expecting one for Katie, one for Katherine. I completely get you. All it takes is just happy birthday, Katie, photo of me. Not me shoved in a collage amongst four other boys. Happy birthday, everyone. We love you all so much. And Katie in the corner looking like a fucking white white. I bet you were living. I hate it. Yeah, that would have pissed me off. Right, let me ping pong you. Um, okay. Clapping at the wrong moment.

I think this is what I've got from doing little women when people clap and I'm like, not yet. Hold on. And I'll be backstage and I'll hear like a... And I'm like... Read the room. And I'm thinking... That's when you know when people aren't creative, because if you're creative you have a gut instinct when the clap is.

When it is, yeah, you feel it in your pulse. If you're not, then you just sit and I'm thinking you're logical. This is creative, okay? Thank you. Right, questions? Questions, I am serious. Okay, hit me. Do you think you could either? No.

You would have, could you give up your birthdays for the rest of your life? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Do you think you could either? No. You would have, could you give up your birthdays for the rest of your life?

No. Or give up Christmas? Oh my God. Okay, let me try and wangle out of here. If I didn't celebrate my birthday on my birthday, could I still celebrate my birthday? Yeah, go on. Because I feel it's a bit selfish taking Christmas away from everyone. Yeah, just a little bit.

I can't celebrate it, so you're getting niche. No one celebrates. I find it a tiny bit selfish, right? So on my birthday, that would be a real shame. So maybe I do July the 17th. Birthday Boxing Day. So I'd do Birthday Boxing Day. Yeah, fair enough.

No, Birthday Eve. Yeah. I would do that as my birthday. And then the day of, I'd be serene because maybe I'm hanging out my arse. Yeah, a bit. And then I'd pick it up again on the 19th. Yeah, we'll be like, guys, stack at it.

How about you? I think I'd give up my birthday. Oh, yeah, that's easy for you. Yeah, it's quite an easy cut off. I'm not like attached to my birthday. You can't take your Christmas naps away from your family. Oh, God, no. That'd be evil. That's the definition of evil. Taking a nap away from my fucking hell.

I'd be excommunicated. My family would emancipate me. If I took away their naps. Okay, so my silly question, if you could only get birthday presents that are either A, completely random or weird. Okay, so really, really fucking weird and random, like a light bulb that has like, diamantes on, but it can only fit a certain screw and when you do, it plays music, but only for a few days. Really weird. Really strange. You have slippers that have toes for your holes to poke out. Really strange gifts. Or, always

practical. Okay? So you've got a wooden spoon for the kitchen to do your kitchen. So there's nothing really exciting about it. You might get deodorant, okay? Practical. And I always need deodorant. You might get, it's not ever going to be bougie, okay? And these are from everyone. This isn't just like your boyfriend, this is boyfriend, family, friend, like everything. You might get some ear buds, ear slots, you know? What would you pay? Practical all the way. Which, yeah. Yeah, I love the practical gift because sometimes like my parents are like,

your family are asking what you want for Christmas and I'm like, Sainsbury's voucher. Yeah, that. And I'm like, pay for my food shop for a week. You know what I mean? That's like that's delightful. Like 20 quid Sainsbury's voucher will do me wonders. So stuff like that. And it's always quite nice when you don't because sometimes like shampoo and conditioner you're like, I hate to buy it. So then if someone's like, oh, I'll get it for you. Fucking brilliant! L- Wow. S- Fucking delightful!

L- Yeah, okay, I see what you mean. S- I'd go practical. L- Would ya? S- Though there was something quite endearing about the random gifts, like I would collect them like, oh, like a little treasure chest. L- Yeah, I wonder whether if, stop fucking you off though, like just getting stuck, cause there is nothing that annoys me more when someone just, I know it's bad, but I saw this and I thought of you and I'm thinking, what am I going to do with this?

Seriously, what am I doing with this? What am I doing? Oh guys, Katie, she got me a vase to put flowers in and it's a little women book. It says little women and it has the name of Joe, Meg, Beth and Amy and it's a photo of them and like it's like a painting of someone. And it's beautiful. Like that all the day. All the Lone Storm take.

But someone just got me on. I don't know. The hair bubble with dinosaurs on. I'll be like, what am I going to do with this? It's not even my vibe. Do you know what I mean? I can't even style it out. I can't even style it out.

I can't even style this. Yeah. Yeah, I get you. So I see what you mean with practical. Fair enough. I get you. Yeah. Bye guys.

You got us to the end of the pod. It's the blood bleeding well end. Here we are again. I hope you have a great week. Have a fabulous week guys. Enjoy. Enjoy. All right.

Love you. Love you. Bye. Love you! Bye!