The Debrief - Birthdays, Boozing & Biggest Blackouts

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

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🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 How are we all doing? Yeah, open those eyes. Wipe those eyes of the sleep dust. I watched the first season of the reboot of iCarly on that. And it was top notch. It was good. Oh, I haven't seen the new season. No Oscars are being won. No.

You know when you watch child actors and see them in something later and you go, I see. I see it now. Child actors for a reason. I see it now. I'm very that. Although I've recently just started watching The Vampire Diaries again, which is so embarrassing, but i love it so much and i remember watching it and being like yeah it's so

embarrassing tell you what they're good actors they've got it they are good actors nina dobrev she is a good actor do you know what actually more for the reason i've just been telling kitty um off off the pod how I've fallen in love with The Summer I Turned Pretty on Amazon Prime but the main guy in it so it's between

like this love triangle between do I know any of the actors? no so they're all kind of like newcomers but the guy newbies on the block newbies

the guy who is one of the brother there's two brothers that she's kind of pining after them both it's this kind of pining after them both. It's this kind of like. Vampire Diaries. Is young Damon Salvatore.

No. So I thought Jeremiah is more my type. And I love the look of Jeremiah. And he's got the piercing blue eyes. And I looked at him and I'm like, he looks like a young Damon Salvatore. And lo and behold. He is. He is a young Damon Salvatore.

He is. So I'm like. Salvatore. Salvatore. I love Bighold. He is. He is a young David Salvatore. He is. Salvatore! Salvatore! I love him. I love him. I love him. Oh my God, that is amazing.

Yeah. Tell me your mantra, my love. I want to hear it. My mantra this week has come from, not myself, but Big Mama RuPaul. Oh! I love RuPaul's Drag Race. Okay, I get you. I've never watched it

I feel like you would love it I know Girl look at how fucking orange you look I'm not joking bitch What do you watch it on? Netflix I'm obsessed with it In times of

Stress, in times of trouble It is My comfort show If ever overwhelmed, if ever stressed out, I will watch RuPaul's Drag Race. Oh, okay. So I was watching RuPaul's Drag Race this week. I was top, top in bed watching it. Yeah.

And RuPaul said to one of the queens, what other people think of you is none of your business. And I had such a breath of fresh air. And I was like, Ru RuPaul you're bang on RuPaul always is I like that it really isn't I really like that because it almost separates that judgment

what is your mantra Kitty McNeil now I was grappling with a few this week now mine's going back to our old mantras of three things I'm doing the triplets. Bring it back. Yes. So I'm saying I'm loved, lucky, and celebrated.

And the reason why I said this, because this weekend was obviously the Big 21 bash. The bash. And I've never felt more loved, more lucky, and more celebrated. Good. Like I had so many people around me from London lot, from my school lot, from family. There was so much love that I just felt so, oh, this is really lovely. And seeing people interact together, I was like really great.

Lucky because my family were there and they'd created this big event and, you know, they'd done such a good job and celebrated, fuck me, life's too short to not celebrate life's too short to not put on a party hat a party hat and blow a little boo, isn't it? you didn't actually have a cake I didn't have a cake, no

I was thinking about that, well to be fair you're not really a cake gal I'm not a cake gal I had s'mores though I had s'mores with a fire i'm glad that you felt was it celebrated celebrated and lucky yeah you are i am good song of the week song of the week yeah my song of the week again in times of overwhelm in times of trouble I have this one philosophy in my life I can never

be in a bad mood listening to Roses by Outkast I know you can never be like it's one of those songs that always puts me in a good mood

so it genuinely and it used to come onto my car on shuffle like sometimes I'd literally be driving home like in tears like and they're like Caroline and I'm like Caroline that's i'm like caroline that played in my party did you hear it no it did

yeah it did it did no i did that oh my god i can't believe i missed that caroline and that's the one that's like no you'd like to think your don't stay so good. So good. You literally cannot, if anyone is in a bad mood right now, put on Roses by Outkast. Outkast with a K. Yeah, you can't be in a bad mood listening to it. And that's a fact. Love it. What's your song?

My song, which will not surprise you at all, is... Spice up your life, people of the world. Spice up your life people of the world spice up your life this is gonna oh my god so let's get into the debrief because this is to do with debrief so my parents did a really nice speech my birthday it was short and sweet really heartfelt emotional it was gorgeous you know thanking everyone but also it was really really nice and perfect they did a great job anyway Arch was emceeing as well. So he was like on the mic. And I see like something's happening, but I'm not quite sure.

And I was actually, I was looking around for you because I was like, oh. Did you see us all disappear? I thought you were going off to the toilet. And there was a bit of me that was like, oh, because I wanted you to be with me. So I was like, oh, she's not here. And then I was like, oh, okay. And then i thought maybe she's talking to arch because maybe arch is worried or something dickhead dickhead you're looking like a right mug now right mug with a handle on the side of my head that's how much of a mug i look oh my god anyway i hear archie say like what did he say jesus christ was like Kitty McNeil you think the entertainment's

over for tonight but we are here to spice up your life cue the five of us oh my god I it was it was um Archie one of our friends my sister Peach, and one of my other good friends from school. It was like the bestest people. Everyone came out as the Spice Girls. So I actually... Kate, you looked posh Spice. There was a lot of actual beef with this. And my beef laid with Archie.

Because I said, we had a group chat and we were discussing who was going to be who, we had a group chat and we were discussing who was going to be who. You had a group chat? Yeah, and it was called Spicy for Kitty. Oh my God,

this is hilarious. We had a group chat and we were all discussing and Archie went, I'm going to be Ginger Spice because I want to wear Kitty's dress because I think that'll be hilarious. The Union track dress.

But I, I had my heart and my absolute booty set on ginger oh because you are ginger because i am ginger they all came in they all came running in and i was genuinely shocked because i was looking around for peach i was looking around for arch i was like where are they all came running in like people are not I was dying. Then my friend who was sporty Spice Up like this PE kit on. She did.

We choreographed it, we did it. The dress was extremely short, guys. My ass, what little ass I had, people got a treat. Oh yeah. People got a treat. And my dress, my actual dress for the evening, I was worried about my tits coming out. So. It was great choreography. Me and Archie choreographed it. Yeah, loved it. Do you know what I loved more than

anything? In times of doing something like this, like the Super Trooper, it's not about perfection, it's about having fun. And I was watching you all and you were all laughing so hard and you know the bit in Spice Up Your Life where it goes, it what's that yeah hold tight yeah that in the in the yeah hold tight they all do different fucking like moves and oh she's like crossing his arms what did you do hands on the hips um my friend was like doing this break dance on the floor. Oh my God. I just loved it. Like it was the perfect thing to do. And also we had, the party started at 7.30. Yeah. And then the speeches were like nine.

So it gave an hour and a half to mingle. Yeah. So there was a few drinks and everyone, but then that kind of started off the party. Cause as soon as after that, the DJ got going. Everyone started being, I thought that was great. It was honestly like, I'm very used to performing. All of us were quite used to performing really.

Apart from two. Apart from two. I was shitting it, you should have seen the state of all of us. We were genuinely terrified, but we were all sat there. We all started like necking this like around this bottle of gin before we went on. Come on, come on.

We were like, we've got this, we've got this. But it was so much fun. Like as soon as I came out, I saw everyone loving it. Because we were worried we were going to come out and everyone would be like. And the reception wouldn't be great. And everyone was like, ooh, like clapping. Everyone was loving it. So, you know, in my dad's speech, he said, you know, I'm so proud of me for the podcast.

And he said, unfortunately, I've learnt of my me for the podcast and he said unfortunately I've learnt more about her than I'd like and I laughed and I said something to you like yes Peach did you hear me say that

were you still there yeah I was behind you so I actually felt really bad because I was at the bar getting a drink when they announced

Speech so I was quite near the back so I was kind of like oh I guess that's good in a way to slip off after

for the chance but as soon as Speech just happened we were all kind of like here we go we're like we gotta do it it was like a roller coaster i loved it because at the end like and i've got a great photo i put on my instagram i was all hugging afterwards i was i was i've never felt so happy i was like oh my god these people are the best people ever i'm so glad you guys and i i thought, I said this to Arch, the song was perfect, Spice Up Your Life. Because it was like going into 21, Spice Up Your Life. But also it wasn't something like Lizzo or Olivia Rodrigo that my parents' friends wouldn't really know.

What was the highlight of your night? The highlight of my night was probably the performance. I love the performance. Yeah, me too. I did love like getting ready. That was perfect. Oh my God. Tell the listeners about that. So we had someone come do our hair and makeup. I love performance yeah me too I did love like getting ready that was perfect oh my god tell the listeners

about that so we we had someone come do our hair and makeup I felt like a princess it did feel like a wedding kind of vibe

getting that done it did everyone the general consensus everyone was like it felt like a wedding I know my favourite thing also

which I know we were planning to talk about anyway was to see the resurrection of Kitty McNeil yeah I if this was me I did it again thing also um which i know we were planning to talk about anyway was to see the resurrection of kitty mcneil yeah i if this was me again i did it again if this was me i would never have come back i i hear that along the grapevine kitty's being sick kitty's being sick? Come into the loose to see you. Sat on the toilet.

It was the exorcist. You vomited so much. We got you carried like, we got you carried into bed, put you into bed. You're flaming around. We got you a new gym jammies and I thought, bless her, she's had a good night. Well, she's done a good thing, but she's never coming back. But it was about 10 o'clock. Yeah, it wasn't late.

So I was like, good night, Kitty, and we'll speak about it in the morning. So why is it I turn around about half an hour later and see you? On the dance floor. Yeah, hey, guys. I was like, hey, guys, here I am. I was like, what on earth is happening? But even my parents said to me, they said, look, Kitty, we've put a lot of time, effort, money into this party.

Don't be getting drunk and going to bed. I said, right. Anyway. The thing just Don't be getting drunk and going to bed. That's right. Anyway. I'm just thinking of the gardens. Yeah. Got so slaughtered. But do you know what? I did get slaughtered.

I had a quick 25 power nap. Can't believe that. But honestly, I had the funniest experience. One of the girls described it as Kim Kardashian at the Met Gala. I was going upstairs. Everyone had a job. So one of my friends was getting me earrings and my necklace off. One them was pumping me pillows another one was taking my socks off and before i knew it i was naked in my own bed i know i know i was like what is going on which i was kind of

shocked at when i woke back up and i was like hey what's going on hey what's going on i was like what's going on the funniest thing for me was kind of like all the girls had you there and Archie was like well I'm gonna go back to the dance floor but he kept doing things where I kind of

went back down with him and we were like kids being taken care of and it felt like you know when parents go out and leave their kid at home yes

we were all sat we were kind of sat dancing and drinking and then Archie was like are we bad people he was like should we should we really i'm like too many cooks up there arch we wouldn't be helping much up there there are so many people up there don't need it i said do you know what archie you have a responsibility here as the boyfriend to show face and hold the fort up for the both of you and i am here to support for you

and you know what it's actually hard to say but at the end of the day, you can't even remember. Like, you cannot remember. I couldn't remember getting there. I could not remember. No, no, no. I couldn't remember a thing. And so as people started showing me photos the next day, I was like,

ha! I was like, it's been pieced together now. I see. I was like, I see. But then I was up until four o'clock. So I made the most of the party. I might have missed an hour, but I was back.

You made up for that time back you made up for that time I made up for the time you did make up for that time well it's over the question you know I know on to the next topic oh yeah go on

as a host oh yeah do you get slaughtered or do you not oh this is a really good question it's like

the question of drunk brides it's your event at the end of the day yeah do you know what it's a really good question it's like the question of drunk brides it's your event yeah do you know what it's such a good question because and you're the face of the event you're being celebrated how drunk should you get your own event how drunk should you get do you know what i've got like a back and forth like a pushable system with this one yeah that half of me is like fuck it you've paid for it for it. This is my fucking event. It's your event. Why not? Let me make most of it all. I'm going to have fun.

Whereas there's another half of me thinking, this is my event. Like, I'm the host right now. It would be like. I'm supposed to be introducing people to each other. I said to Eileen, it was so funny. It was like you'd almost died. Because Eileen was like, do you think she'll come back? Do you think she'll come back? And I said, I don't know. Well, talking about died. Because Eileen was like, do you think she'll come back? Do you think she'll come back?

And I said, Eileen, I'm not sure. Well, talking about died, I mean, in these TVs that were photos of me or photos of me as a child with candles around, I was like,

it's a fucking wig. I was like, honestly, I walked down in my dress and I was like, it looks like it was just a shrine to you. I was like,

am I a fucking ghost right now? Because people are like, ah, wasn't she nice? And I'm like, did looked like it was just a shrine to you. I was like, am I a fucking ghost right now? Because people were like, ah, wasn't she nice? And I'm like, did I die? Hey, guys. It literally was so funny. But look, I think, I also think it depends on the vibe. Because at my wedding, see, I say it now, but watch me get fucking slaughtered.

You are going to get slaughtered at your wedding. I know, watch me. I don't want to get too drunk at my wedding that I'm like i can't remember it because i'm sure well weddings in general you just wouldn't want to miss yeah you want to get merry yes and i'm glad that my 21st like i had so much fun and i can still remember it all absolutely rather than being like oh i had to go to bed what was happening yeah yeah how was it oh i went to sleep when i went to bed yeah um what do you think i think it's just the level yeah you want to sleep. When I went to bed. Yeah. What do you think? I think it's just the level.

Yeah. You want to be merry and you want to keep the good vibes flowing. Yes, yes. But then it depends on the event. Wedding, I feel like you'd want to be merry, but you wouldn't want to be fucked. But then it's your 21st.

Yeah, I'm not... You want to get slaughtered. Yeah, fuck it. And I think the thing that comforted me, and this is what I'm saying about environment, like the vibe, everyone was fucked. Like my parents were drunk,

my sister was drunk, like we were all drunk. It reassured me that I was like, do you know what? It doesn't matter that I'm drunk. You're not alone. Yeah, it's not like everyone's like, oh, what a mess over there.

No, no. And I also think there is different things as a host. Like luckily my parents are quite chilled, but they're like, oh yeah, have your fun you you know this is great whereas when i was at archie's 21st you know i wasn't the full host because it's about archie but i still wanted to bring groups together that i thought i think it would be embarrassing to be so drunk at archie's 21st because it draws attention from him do you

know what i mean yeah i do get what you mean yeah um because you know there were like all my school friends there that didn't know where the toilet was or didn't know where this was or or needed some introduction introductions to other people so i was kind of responsible for that so i think if i was so drunk then that's a bad host whereas at my own it's like there are so many people that know each other anyway. Yeah you're kind of good. Yeah I think so. I agree. Would you rather get drunk and when I say drunk I mean blackout as a guest or a host? God I just think it's so bad. I would have to say guest but I would hope that there's no like property damage there's no like because the last thing you'd want to do fine be blackout vom in the corner yeah but don't break shit don't don't

drop glasses don't cause a scene i think that's because i think as depends on the event though because as a host like it could kind of be the iconic like oh glad you had a good time like i don't remember yeah that's true but then you've spent so much money you don't want to miss your own event then but you also don't want to be the person as a guest that ruins the event yes the hang side like imagine getting black out at a wedding and like tripping over and like knocking the cake off or something oh my god it'd be so embarrassing or like being so drunk during speeches that you're like distracting like that oh my god the anxiety the anxiety would be so bad i mean i've got a cracking one for when i was a guest and it was just so it was so bad so i went to my friends for a new year's um we were still at school i went to

hers like her house she's got a gorgeous like country home yeah and it was really really nice we had great time and the parents were going to a party so they were like house is yours do whatever you want they provided us alcohol they were like you're in a safe environment we'll be back in a few hours i was like cool look great anyway we are properly drinking and i'm a lightweight and like i think i've got more tolerance than i did then and even now i'm a lightweight so imagine i was like a few years ago um so we're having a great time like we're really putting that down the drinks got the music on we've got the countdown the countdown's going we've just done the countdown. I recall doing the roulette shots and we were like,

we were like so drunk. Anyway, I start to feel it, I'm like, cool. The sweat's come on. It comes over you all at once really, doesn't it? Like, you're like, ha ha ha! It's so true. It genuinely like, ha ha ha! So when you go to the toilet

and you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you start swaying. You start swaying. You're sweating. You have to put your legs, your head between your legs. And you're like, oh. Anyway, there was this like outhouse, as I said. Yeah.

But I thought I just need to go to the kitchen. Like go to the toilet and vom. I was like, you know, I can't vom like now. Like the night has barely started. You know, let me just quickly go vom in the toilet. Then I could come back and I'll be ready. Anyway, I'm like walking into the house, get through the kitchen. I'm like a few steps into the kitchen and I feel it coming.

And I just project over this whole fucking kitchen. Oh my God. I am again, exorcist, arms agape. Oh my God, it was a carpe exorcist, arms agape. Oh my God, it was a carpet. I'm like Patrick Star. Ah! Everywhere.

Oh my God. Now, I start to look down. My stick is moving and I'm like, what the fuck is that? I vomited on her two legs. Oh my God.

And can I say, one of them was a fucking Labrador. So how much vomit would I have done to cover a black lab? And then the other one, which was like a little dog, like the best dog ever. But this little dog, this poor dog is shaking, shimmying with my sick on it. I was so embarrassed anyway. I cleaned the whole thing up on my own.

Well done. On my own. Take your friend's time. Take my time. Well, this is the thing. Kitchen roll. Got the whole thing up. Got the fucking dogs, like, outside with the fucking huggers.

And like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, these dogs have now been vomited on, and now hosed out, and like, great fucking year.

Happy new year. Happy new year. Anyway, I'm thinking, right, probably vomited five minutes, cleaned it up about ten minutes I've only been gone about 15 20 minutes two and a half hours. You're kidding me. Two and a half hours. Where was your friend? Was she asleep? Going to music calling me, but my phone was in there. No. Yeah, so I came back and I was like Oh, you know just got a glass of water

got a glass of water. Sorry, just a quick wee. I'm like, just a quick wee. And she goes, because you've got ages. I said, what? And I had to say, I had to say, look, I've wanted all your dogs.

I've wanted all over your kitchen. She went in and, but she was like, you're a fucking liar because it was all clean. It was spotless. And then I opened the bin and I was like,

the dogs were fucking shaking outside. The dogs see you and they're like fleeting. Yeah, yeah. Not again! Like driving under soaps was the time where i was a guest where that was embarrassing but i did fess up i was lucky that i was in a safe environment yeah and i even told her parents that they were like fuck me that's hilarious you know that's hilarious have you um ever been really bad as a host like i never host except once, and I've never hosted since.

Oh, my God, because you got so drunk? The whole scenario was just an absolute shit show. I was in sick form. Okay. And I decided to, like, have girly drinks. My parents were away. Okay. So they were like, and i said would you

mind if i had a few of the girls over for like a movie night and drinkies and that's how it starts and bless my mum brought me some like lamborini and some sparkling wine oh lovely girls like have a lovely evening and it was literally like maybe like six or seven of us girls okay that's a big group yeah then i live in quite a small village and then the girls come and they're like, we drink the wine, we're all feeling a bit married. So we were like, is that a local shop anywhere? We'd go to like the co-op

and then one of the girls was 18 already. So she bought loads of pink gin. I cannot drink pink gin from this instant. Me and this group of girls got so drunk that it was to the point where it was just sloppy. Like, it was sloppy. We had, like, a downstairs bathroom. Yeah, of course.

I literally... And we had this big mirror. Oh, gosh. I was so drunk, I vomit on the mirror. On the mirror? On the mirror. I come... I, like, stumble backwards i come i like stumble backwards it was so bad it was genuinely awful i was absolutely slaughtered one of the girls got so drunk she

was literally vomiting like in like into big bowls like all the stuff her mum had to come pick her up just roaming on different furniture like she was in my living room like on my rug like no like into this bowl like everyone was so drunk one of the girls called the guy she was seeing over at the time and i'm like it's getting out of control that's scary he's getting out of control and i was like you need to tell him to go home like yeah please don't let him come one of my neighbors then because my parents were aware it was a girl's night they didn't know it was getting a bit rowdy. But one of my neighbours, it was like half eleven. Oh, come on. One of my neighbours Facebook messaged my mum.

Yeah. Saying that it was getting really rowdy and they could hear us and blah, blah, blah. Oh, come on. We had to turn the music down. We used to have like cameras in our backyard. I was also naughty Katie smoking some cigarettes that evening. I was smoking it thinking i'm fucking top dog like hostess with the most just like pass me a ciggy yeah when in reality i'm like

so migraine so my parents check these cameras and then see me smoking which was terrible the whole thing i'm so drunk so drunk, I'm vomiting, I cleaned everything up. Because that's the worst nightmare. It's like, oh my God, you have people over happy. Don't ruin the furniture. We don't rent the house.

And it's you. It's you. And it was the worst thing as well. So we were moving at the time. Oh God. Oh, you were trying to sell the house. So we're trying to sell the house.

So they were literally like, do not break any shit. No, no, no. There's me flailing around i've got everything cleaned up but it was one of those i was in so much trouble i had to bring chocolate round to the neighbors the next day um as an apology but genuinely i think i had about three

quarters of a bottle of pink gin so i was just like i'm really sorry about about the noise like i felt so awful and then obviously my parents went home for a few days and i was in the dog house i was in the dog house it was just an innocent girly drinks and i was the one that was getting so it's always the one it's always the nights that like you don't expect i was a terrible host yeah terrible i literally was literally like you girls need to make your own way home yeah the next day they were like, oh, where's the station? I'm like, it's a 30 minute walk. See ya.

Off you go girls. The good thing is, as we said, all the other girls were as fucked as you were. Everyone was quite drunk. So I'm like, thank God. You know, it was just one. You don't wanna be that sloppy host that like, everyone's sober.

And it never, it never made me want to host ever again. I never want to do it again. Because I had to deal with all the shit the next day. And I hate, there's nothing actually that gives me the ick more than waking up the next morning and people are still in your house. Yeah. I'm like, leave. Yeah, off you go now.

Leave. Literally, I would rather go home at 5am than stay over at someone's house and see them the next morning. Yeah, yeah. Like, awful. Awful. Never again. home at 5am then stay over at someone's house and see them the next morning yeah yeah like awful awful never again and that's and i can't drink pink gin to this day even even if i smell it i actually i'm like i mean on to the topic of pink gin so many people were so generous with like bringing gifts yes like genuinely i my inner circle i like, you'll get me a fucking gift.

I was like, there will be a gift, I'll put it on the table. But honestly, I was like, literally just show up, like please, like the kindness of people, I was like, bloody hell, it's so nice. Alcohol is the best. Alcohol's always a winner. Alcohol is always a winner.

Because gin, even a cheeky bit of Moet, I was like, oh, great. You know, I was like, gorgeous. It was really, really good, but I did not expect it, you know. It is always difficult in the sense where you're like, what do I bring? I'm going to give you a scenario

of an event, and what would you bring? So, it's your sister's best friend's birthday dinner and you've met the best friend

three times. Oh God. Birthday dinner. Dinner. What do you bring? The first thing, 100% a card. Always a card.

I'm always a card. Always a card. But I can't fake a card. Like, you know what I'm like with my cards? I write a fucking essay, dissertation in that. You do.

But I can't fake it if, like, I don't so if it was the breath like the sister i'd probably say dear whoever happy birthday you mean so much to my sister i'm glad she's in your life have a great birthday you know like a little note like that but always a card always always now i would go through my sister and say does she drink alcohol alcohol is my go-to try and get like good interests yeah it would be my go-to because it's so easy like because it's not too much of begging it yeah but it's like i've got you fucking vivian necklace that's not what that's too keen that's way too keen you just can't go wrong with alcohol can you you can't really i've got a good one for you. Oh, yeah?

Scenario. You go to your boyfriend's house for the first time. Yeah. And the mother has made, like, a gorgeous meal. Yeah. What would you bring? It's a mum's birthday. Mum's birthday.

It's also the first time meeting her. First time meeting her. Got to be a card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got to be a card. And... You can't go wrong. Got to be a card. Flowers. Perfect. Mothers, I think the present is fine being flowers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't go wrong. Got to be a card. Flowers.

Perfect. Mothers, I think the present is fine being flowers. Like a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. And then offer to wash up. Love it. Love it. That's a gift in itself. Yeah, yeah.

Good first impressions. Perfect. Good first impressions. Can you, if you've been given a bad gift, can you fake it? Yeah. Are you like, i wanted this i always i always think what what does my mum always say it's the thought that counts yeah it's true it's the thought that counts it's so true i'm like if they think i wanted that and they've picked that out for me then i am grateful that they were thinking of me. One year, my grandma gave me the funniest gift

that she was so excited to give me. She was so looking forward to it. So I'm like, it's an iPad. It's an iPad. It's a new iPod. I'm like, it's an iPad. I'm like, woo! You know, anyway, I opened this gift,

and God love her, but it's a belly dancing alpha. And I'm like... A belly dance? How old were you were you? a good eight or nine belly dancing outfit it had all the stuff on the bottom it made noise i tried it on and of course it's my grandma loved her so much so i put it on i gave a little jig oh i bet she loved it a bit rogue it was very rogue it was it was it was certainly rogue yeah it it was it was certainly rogue

yeah it's the fact that you think they're probably looking at that they see it and they go kitty

kitty that's her that's bang on her Zach Efron yeah he received for a birthday gift from a fan

human skin yes that is horrible yes so then I was like it has to do with the whole Ted Bundy thing because he would play Ted Bundy. Oh my god, of course. Is that the context?

I was like, but still that is odd. That's actually disgusting. That's horrible. And then Avril Lavigne received a dead rabbit. A Ted rabbit. Like it was still fucking fluffy and its eyes were open. As it was, it was just dead. It's like that poor little bonbon. a dead rabbit. A dead rabbit. Like it was still fucking fluffy and its eyes were open.

As it was, it was just dead. It was like that poor little bonbon. Now this is gonna fucking get you. The Jones brothers, for one of their birthdays, received a dead shark presented in a tube. What kind of shark? i don't know. i can't imagine it was that big. it was preserved in a fucking tube. harry styles received a toilet seat which i'm like did they fucking use the toilet seat? oh my god oh my god oh my god i didn't even think of that. I'm getting terrorized on the streets by the advertisements for the Meg too. I live in fear. I can't walk outside without genuinely like feeling nothing but fear coursing through my veins.

You're so funny. We were walking down the streets before. She's literally like, I said, oh, I said, oh God, she's gonna fucking like gasp again. I'm gonna scream. I said, Katie, don't look to your left. And she says, I know, I've already clocked it. I've clocked it.

She had a cup of overripe. She's like, oh my God. Do you know what I tell you? I can't get on at the same place I get the tube from work because the place where I usually get the tube where the carriage is the most clear. Does it have the mega? The post is directly opposite.

So I get on at the other end now because I just don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I've never, like, known someone to have a fear this bad. Why am I being tormented? But are you more scared of sharks or the dog? No, Kitty's got this fear

that I'm scared of the dog. She's 100% scared of the dog. She's got this fear that I'm scared of the dog because I slept with my... because I fell asleep with my bedside lamp on once and she happened to be walking past and now I'm scared of the dog because I slept with my... Because I fell asleep with my bedside lamp on once and she happened to be walking past and now I'm scared of the dog. I'm like, Katie can't deal with the dog.

She has a nightlife. Shall we crack on? Let's ickaroo. We've got to. Let's ickaroo. You go first, but I'm going to ping pong you. Are you ready? Yep. Yeah, great.

My first ick was myself love it was myself yeah party's obviously over yeah people are send pictures send pictures send pictures why why why why Katie in every photo my eyes are glazed over from the alcohol I people are posting photos on this story I'm like I wish you wouldn't do that can you take my eyes are glazed over from the alcohol I people are posting photos on this story I'm like I wish you wouldn't do that

can you take them my my drunk eyes that did you like my Instagram though I did actually the drunk eyes were not

yeah they weren't there because they were taken at the beginning of the night I got pictures of everyone at the wrong point of the night because I was genuinely spangled and I was

and I'm literally like staring into the abyss not quite staring at anything everyone is looking gorgeous everyone's and I'm like who is that hag who is hanging on to them and it was me it was you loving living your best life with a bottle of and I was like sloppy you know and it was it's one of those it's not even that I looked at that and thought oh I look a bit drunk I said to my friend oh have you seen the pictures of the getting sent there and they went yeah you look fucked that's even worse and I was like yeah

that is worse I do okay so mine is drunk chat yes so you know you're fucked like you're absolutely fucked and you chat and you chat and you're like this is actually embarrassing like i must have honestly done the peach of like but yeah well that's interesting that yeah yeah yeah i get you i get and i'm like oh god like at

the end of the night like from about three about three till four, it was not needed. It was... It's always that. It was not needed. It's always that. Nothing good happens after 2am, I'm telling you. Well, that's the question, isn't it? It was literally, like, I was chatting shit, and it was, like, the same conversation,

and then we'd go off, then we'd go back to that conversation, but nothing would change. I never used to do afters, and it's always, it's the how I met your mother, does anything good ever happen after 2am and I'm gonna have to say no. No.

No. No. I'm gonna have to say no. The chat gets worse, we're all fucking tired. Everyone's getting tired. We're thinking about our skincare. The only people that are up

are the ones chasing a good time and then even they have to go to bed. Absolutely. I usually never do an afters and in the past year, I've found myself subject to a few afters where I literally sit and watch the sunrise, and I wake up filled with nothing but regret.

Yeah. Because there was no need. The chat is shit. You're bang on. It's shit. The chat is shit. It is icky. Because what are you going to be talking about at that time?

It's just unnecessary from start to finish. It is. And I've just learned that i value my sleep a lot more and i will be genuinely missing out on nothing yeah no that's what you can take comfort in go my ick happened today tell me and i was fuming i needed a certain piece of equipment at the gym oh and i'm pretty sure it's been my it before oh i had a few more exercises to get through so i thought i'll leave this till last okay and the machine was in my eyeline so i thought you know i'll keep doing it once it becomes available i'll go tell me why i spent 45 minutes in the gym and the same man

oh the same man 45 minutes and he was still using it and he was still begging it that is malicious begging it on the Smith machine. That is really selfish. It was really selfish. 15 minutes, fine. It's too long, but fine. My entire workout. 45 minutes, you're milking that.

Milking it. Oh, that would piss me off, actually. I didn't like it and I didn't appreciate it. Nah, easy it. Big egg. Epic century. Okay, my last one is when someone says like look we spoke about it earlier yeah they can't take gin fine but then they when they either like taste a bit someone says taste it and they're like i'm like come on like genuinely come on we were at the party and someone said to me like

i can't have vodka and i was like all right then someone did like a shot of vodka like these three boys did like a shot of vodka so then i was like go on have a little sniff they didn't even sip any I thought you know what that is melodramatic why are you being dramatic melodramatic I was like it is I was like yeah not that I would do the exact same thing no I just thought could never be made yeah could never be made with gin it was literally before we went on for that performance everyone's like let's neck a bit of this gin

I can't I can't guys I can't I can't have gin it's so true I knew I was drunk because that went down really smoothly

that gin yes and I genuinely was like when you can't really taste it that's when it's scary that's when it's bad that's when you know you're in trouble

that's when it's scary. That's when it's bad. That's when you know you're in trouble. That's when it's really scary. Right, Peach, let's get on to questions. Questions. Questions of the week. Questions of the week. Questions of the week. Right, you are...

I'm serious. Numero uno. So you are serious. Go on, give it to me. On the theme of birthdays, I'm really excited. Okay. Would you rather your family forget your birthday or your boyfriend? Like, completely forget.

Oh, my God. Like, not like, oh, my God, I hope it's a surprise, but genuinely, like, forget. Do you know what? This is a hard one because I'd be like, will my mum really forget when I came out of her vagina? Like, would she forget that? Would she forget that would she forget I think maybe it could be just confusion where she just had it in her head that it was on a Wednesday and it's on a Tuesday and she wakes up Tuesday like I can't wait for Kit's birthday

tomorrow that's so hard that's horrible and I know this had never happened with either so that's really difficult yeah because my mum always tells me her vagina story how I popped out so yeah I love her do you know what i was about to say considering i live with archie yeah i think i'd prefer my family to forget however i think it depends who i'm with so say if i was on for my birthday i was with my family yeah it would i'd be butthurt like i'd be so butthurt that archie forgot but i'd be happy that the people around me are like

woohoo like we've got you girl whereas if I'm with them and they're like you know what should we do today I'd be like are you joking mate

this is the day I was brought into this life this is the day I came into the world I love you you know this is when I changed lives so I think it depends

who I'm with yeah but it would hurt. Who do you prefer? Probably my parents, like, my family to forget. Like, because if I was with my boyfriend at the time, like, imagine, even if I was living at home and, like, my boyfriend just didn't message me.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like... Yeah. I also feel like it's more... I don't know, this is maybe general, but more likely that your parents would forget because they've had so many birthdays with you. Yeah. Whereas your boyfriend's like pretty early on in the kiddie life. Yeah, you should remember.

You should remember that. That's basic. Would you rather have to go to every single event and make it about you? have to go to every single event and make it about you okay so it's your sister's 21st or something and you're like guys i'm engaged it's your sister's wedding and you're like guys i'm pregnant oh my god it's your sister's baby shower and you're like guys i bought a house every single event every no no no, no, no, no. No, I'm saying every event. Like, it always has to be about you.

Or, like, and then you make it your thing. Yeah. But it's not like everyone's like, oh, my God, Katie. Everyone's like, oh, fucking shit. All the time she makes it about herself. Oh, my God. Like, some people are excited for you, but everyone else knows you do this. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Or, would you rather never get invited to anything never get invited to anything really genuinely so you you're not invited to your sister's wedding you wouldn't be invited to Archie and I's you wouldn't be like you wouldn't be invited on holidays like with our friends you wouldn't be invited to anything can I still like see you guys like still come out for coffees and stuff yeah you can still meet up but you can't come to like weddings, anniversaries

engagement parties, baby showers of like your sister, me, Archie or friends, no one that would be so hard 21st, birthday parties, you can't come to anyone's birthday party and it's because they're like oh she's not coming that I be so hard 21st birthday parties you gotta come to anyone's birthday party and it's because they're like oh she's not coming that that i find really hard but i genuinely would rather not be there and people be like oh it's a shame she's not here rather than be there and be

like i wish she'd fucking leave okay okay yeah yeah i think that is the most selfish thing you can do at someone else's event is make something about yourself and make a big, like, steal people's thunder. It is genuinely like, what the fuck are you on? That's bad. Read the room. Yeah. Read the room. Yeah, can you imagine?

I don't know. Okay, so you'd rather never get invited to anything. Yeah, I'd rather just sit at home. Be like, have fun. Have fun. Send piggies. Oh, that looks good. I do get your theory in that i do

i do get your theory what would you i think i'd have to pick the same as you you can't be that person you can't you actually can't be that person and there's nothing worse than like someone taking your thunder you know there is nothing worse because you can be like look i'm so happy for you could you not have waited till tomorrow oh my god could you not have had your own event and told everyone literally not that i don't think it's ever happened to me personally like i don't feel anyone's ever taken my thunder at an event about me or whatever um but yeah i i think i just have to be yeah party of one party party for one Party for one Yeah But right Right

Right This brings us to the end of the episode My loves And as the sun sets on another episode It's like the end of Call the Midwife They always do like say something That doesn't make sense It's like and as the sun rises We we realised it'd rise, and it would never rise.

And we'd be like, what the fuck? And roll the credits. Yeah, and then it'd roll the credits. Yeah. So say something that you think is philosophical but doesn't make sense to end the podcast. Yeah. And as we look over the hills on another day, we realise, are we the hill or are we the grass? I love it, Peach. I love it.

Goodbye, my lovelies. Goodbye, my little ferrets. Come on, write in. Come on. Come on now, eh? Come on. Eh, you, be good. Eh, you.

Eh, you. Be good. Never hit a girl. Never hit a girl. I saw that on my phone. You better stay out of the scene. It's such a good. A you. A you. Be good. Never hit a girl. Never hit a girl. I saw that on my phone. You guys stay out of the scene. It's such a good impression that you do. Never hit a girl.

Right, come on, guys. We want X questions. Tell me about the worst present, the funniest present. Tell us about the time you got slaughtered at an event and it was inappropriate. It was so inappropriate. We've all done it. We've all done it. We love you.

We love you. So much. Do you love us. We've all done it. We've all done it. We love you. We love you. So much. Do you love us too? Do you? Yeah. Yeah. I heard them say yeah. They said yes.

Oh, great. Oh, great. Have a good week, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.