The Debrief - Can I Pull You For A Chat? | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

Welcome back to The Debrief! This week we are talking about secret chats👀 As always DM us @the.debriefpodcast or email [e-mail] with any debriefs or dilemmas xSee you next week! Lots of love,K+K x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the D-Roof, with your co-host, Katie Mniel. Here we are back again. Katie and I are having a weekend together. Yeah, we are. We never see each other at all. But a weekend together at my mum and dad's house, and Katie has just found this program. Yeah.

Yeah. It's Harrow. Ryan Murphy It's another Ryan Murphy and if you didn't know he did the Menendez he also did the Dharma Oh my God

This guy's for What's he called Eric? Ed Gein Ed Gein Ed Gein Ed Gein Ed Gein Yeah It looks insane

It looks insane Absolutely Terror of the trailer You sent me I literally saw it At work today And I was like Oh Kit's gonna eat this up

He's got a very He's got a very very great way of doing yes such harrowing things he really does even with like american horror story the first season in my opinion was the best yeah it was i did love murder house i think the twists in american horror story season one were really clever yeah i thought the concept was really really good i thought like the scary bits were great but not there were some parts in other seasons that i was like i just don't i hated asylum i hate i loved i loved i love i love

loved the first season. I hated Asylum. I loved Coven. The witch one. I liked Freak Show. Oh, I liked Freak Show. I never finished Hotel. And then since then I fell off. I haven't seen any. Oh, I don't know if I did even watch Hotel. With Lady Gaga. Oh, no, I didn't watch that. I watched it in the first few episodes and then I just literally fell off with her. Fell off, yeah. And I liked the, I like the concept of new people, same people, different story.

Yeah. And I think that's really interesting for actors. Like, for, I'm all creative background. Imagine being a part of a franchise. Like, how many seasons are they like... And they keep you on for every season? And they're like, new thing. And you're like, what are we doing next season? And they're like, what you're playing this part?

You're doing this part. Yeah, that's fun. I like that. And what's her name? Sarah Paulson is in them. And I love her. Also the Ginger Lady who plays the mother in the first season. What's her name?

I like her. Connie Britton. Is that her? Yeah, I really like her. She was also in Dirty John. and she was really good in that. I really, really like her. She was fantastic.

Wasn't she? Did she one? That's another great story. Yeah, oh my God, that was great. But this Eric, Eddie Geen or Ed Gein or whatever's name is, this is coming out on, was it October 3rd? October 3rd. Is it all episodes coming out? I hope so.

Because at least if then, when we're at my mum and dad's, we can binge. We can binge. I will be scared. You will be so scared. I'll be fighting for my life. I'll be scared. When we first moved into the house, we were all so scared because it was like, we were like, oh, it's a bit big, we're all a bit scared.

We all slept in the same room and like, you know, what they call blow up mattresses. We were all like, but honestly, the scariest part of that was mum snoring for literally, non-stop eight hours, more trembling. I threw a pillar on her head. I was like, fuck this. For this. I'm going to my own room now. We're not doing this anymore.

We're not doing it. Okay. Okay, so I will kick off with our mantra this week. So it's to do with the theme. My mantra is, I don't need a script when I tell the truth. Oh. Now, I think, we've all experienced this where you lie and you get caught in your lies. Yeah.

And you think, what lie have I told? Big time. I can't remember what I've said. And then someone says, but what do you mean? You were Pilates on Tuesday. And you're thinking, no, I wasn't. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But when I, but when you tell the truth, you don't need a script. No, you don't. Because everything stays the same. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you? What's your mantra this week?

My mantra this week is, it's okay to feel it all. Oh, I love that. Because I think often you can fall into the thing like, I can't think negatively. Yeah. Because if I think negatively, negative things will happen. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's been me. And I'm like, do you know what?

The negative things will happen regardless. Absolutely. But you can't control the outcome of things. So I'm like, do you know what? It's okay. If you're having a bad date, it's fine. Yeah. I'm like, Katie, relax.

you relax. Yeah, and you will get out of like, if you have a bad day, you'll have a bad day and you'll be fine. Yeah, I think I've learnt the hard way that I'm like, the more you fight the bad mood, the longer the bad mood lasts. Absolutely.

Especially as women. And obviously I can't talk as men, but hormones, you are, you know, emotions, you can be up and down with your, you know, they're all hilarious TikToks where there are like two people stood next to each other and one's lying on the floor, rolling on the floor, jumping up and down.

And the other one's just the boyfriend. It's like my boyfriend's emotions versus mine. But it's so true as women, we do just go up and down and fluctuate. Massively. And the highs are high and the lows are low. But I think it's about just letting that happen. Because sometimes I'm the same as you as in when I'm in a bad mood. I'm like, come on, I need to be out of this.

But actually, just giving into it does make me get over it quicker. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. So my, I can't remember if I did this song as a recommendation, or if you already have. Okay. But it has to be the song, okay? It's got nothing to do with the episode. But it's where is my husband Ray? I would like a ring.

It's my sweet. It's my baby. Where the hell is my husband? So good. What the hell is my husband? I would like a ring, I would like a ring on my wedding thing. I would like a big and shanny dam and that I can buy, where I'm about to go back. It's amazing.

It's amazing. She is one of the best vocalists of our generation. I love her. I love her so much. Great song. Fantastic. Great song. Great song.

I would see her in concert. I'd be gagging to see her in concert. When is she coming in, when is she coming to our flat to do a private performance? Yeah. I feel like you'd be besties with her. Yeah. We would. She would be, we're very against a third person or two girl group.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she could be a good third. She could. She could. And Arch and I have always joked that when we get married, we'd love to have someone famous before. I'd love that. And but we thought initial, initial, of course, Elton John.

But then we thought he's too iconic. He's hard to get. He's too iconic that he's going to overdo my dress. People would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you look nice. But Elton John was there. That is true. I don't know what I mean. Do you know what I mean? Do you remember Kitty's wedding? Oh, the one where Elton John performed.

Not, do you remember her dress and her amazing heat yours? Yeah. This is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Ray would be great to have. She would be great because I think everyone would be like, iconic music, iconic music, but I think she's such a girl's girl, she would now shout at me. Yeah.

And I'm also fuming. So a girl I used to work with, like last Christmas was at Battersea Power Station. Yeah. And they were unveiling the new Apple at Bassi Power Station. and Ray performed. She was literally just walking with her friend like they were shopping and then they were like, oh my God, there was a big crowd and they were like,

oh, what's this? And Ray came out and performed. Stop it. Because I saw her the next day at work. I said, how was your evening? And she was like, you'll never fucking believe it. Like, I saw Ray. Ray herself. And King Charles. Stop. I know. For an Apple store.

He was there like for the power station. I was like, King Charles, what are you doing here? Wow. And Ray. Wow. I literally was like, what a story? I love this. I would never shut up about that.

No, ever, no, no. So, are you ready for records? Yes. So our record, wrecker, record, recommendation. This week is the Peckham Rooftop Bar. Guys, Frank's. Frank's. Where have we been?

Where have we been? Where have we been? We've lived in London a while. Where have we been? People keep set yappy, yappy, yupp. But go to Franks, go to Franks. And we're like, it's Peckham, it's our old stomping ground. We've been there, done that.

Yeah. Well, weren't we wrong? Well, clearly we've seen nothing. Now, first of all, I will say, don't go if you've got heart issues because it is about six-story flight. Like, you all be panting. So you've got heart problems. Yeah. I wouldn't even attempt it.

No. Because I don't know about you, but I didn't see a lift. The stairs were mega. Yeah. The lift doesn't work. Stop. I saw a lift and the lift didn't work. Okay.

So it's like, definitely. That's the only thing I'll say, we're not even exaggerating. There are stairs after stairs. Because you're on a rooftop. It was a while. You're on a rooftop in Peckham. So you get the full London skylight. Like, it is it.

We saw the walkie, we saw the shard, we saw the... What is the walkie-talkie you're referring to? What's the walkie talk? Because you've said it a lot. And I keep nodding along like I know what it is. Okay, let me find this for you. Do you mean the BT Tower? Walkie-talkie.

Because part of me's like, oh, bless her, it's the BT Tower. But you've said it so many times with conviction that I'm thinking. thinking I'm wrong. It's this one. Oh, the walkie-talkie. The walkie-talkie. Absolutely. Oh my God, I see it now.

And it's called, yeah. Skygarden. Apparently it's 20 Fentch Church Street, but no one knows what that is. But as you said, Skygon. Walkie-talkie, walkie, walkie-talkie. We saw the walkie-talkie, and I'm like, yeah, I mean the BT. Oh, it's the BT Tower? It's not this?

No, it's the one that kind of looks like the space needle that has BT on it. B.T Tower, London. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I know what you mean. Yeah, so we saw it all, but yeah, I will say the drinks were amazing. Yes. Really, really yummy. I kept having a capriusca, capro.

Oh, yeah. Is that what they're called, Katie? Caprioscas. Well, well, well, hasn't my life changed? Went down like a treat, didn't it? And everyone was like, you haven't had one. I was like, no, I haven't been out. This is the best thing I've ever had in my life.

I think it's like a really nice vodka lime soda. Really yummy. Like, really, really yummy. But I, so when you walk up there, first of all, it's really funky vibe. You feel like you're kind of. I felt edgy. You felt very edgy. And will I say, I was, I was pleased because I got a compliment on my outfit and I was worried.

But let me say, don't go. Mm-mm. If you're in your cash, okay, people are getting edgy and, like, people are looking good. But weirdly, I think people, I find people cooler when they're dressed in their, like, casual, go to your village pub outfit and they're up in Franks, where everyone's dressed in their edgy East London finery. Yeah. And then there are some people like, this is just my local. And I'm like, now you're cool. Now you are cool.

Now you're cool. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm sure that's what people think about me. Oh, all the time. If I'm, you know, the local and everyone's like dressed up on a Friday night and I'm just in my gym jams, in my couch. And now, like, she's a cool bean. Oh, gosh, she must be a local here. She seems cool. She's a cool babe. Wonder what her deal is. So mysterious. So mysterious. What I will say as well is there's no entry fee, which is really, really, really, really good. Because there's literally nowhere that. So you got these, all these long stairs.

which are all covered in pink may I say it's all the same colour, pink stairs, pink walls, pink floor, pink railings. So it's like, it would be a good photo. You get to the top. And then it is literally just this huge rooftop with a bar on the end. It did have seats if you wanted to sit down. There were like tables, you could get food or like that kind of stuff. But other than that, it was this huge space where you literally, everyone was so,

it was just like, it almost felt like a festival that everyone was in their own crew. Yeah, it was so fun. It was so good. It's so fun. I loved it. Right, are you ready to debrief? Yes. Let's debrief. Okay, girly pops.

This week's we're talking about secret chats, whether that's between your boyfriend and a random girl, your group of friends, or some sly alliances within your family. And we've had quite a few debriefers right in about this. So clearly it's snake season. It's time. A year of the snake.

But before we dive in, Katie has this. ever happened to you where there's been a secret chat like that you're not a part of or that you've been spoken about on air or you found your boyfriend talking on a secret chat something like that have you ever experienced it i have two oh two okay go on instances yeah my only real ex-boyfriend i would say i caught texting oh this is so bad peak for me so so we were all like in a group talking and at the time we were talking about Easter and our Easter plans oh nice and someone said to my boyfriend at the time oh I bet you'll be having Katie round for Easter and he was like oh yeah yeah like kind of brushed it off with

in front of you yeah yeah and I was like oh weird but not weird enough for me to beef it I just sort of odd response because he wasn't like oh yeah it will be great like we'll have around for a roast it was like yeah it was weird okay and And then catch him texting the friend that asked him over, like, I was doing a K-T, like, looking over his shoulder. And he texted, he texted him. She'll be gone by Easter, mate. And I was. And I was.

So, that is a fair roll. Tough day in the office for Peach. And I didn't even say anything. That is so feral. I was stunned into silence. Yeah, but if that happened to you now, the way you kick off. I literally, I'm so proud of you. So that is.

That is awful. So that was like a secret chat that I like, over, well, intruded on. And the other one was I was kind of like involved with a guy about a year ago. Okay. And I think I've said this story before where we were all in Portugal. We were with two separate groups. Okay. But we ended up in the same area of Portugal.

Very, very unfortunate coincidence. Portugal's a well-known group trips. But well-known group chit, we were in the same place at the same time. We had lots of mutuals in between the two groups, and I was shagging one of the guys in this group. But we weren't talking at that point. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. But a lot of the mutuals were like, we're going to this festival tonight.

Come, come. So we were like, yeah, sure, no problem. And I knew this guy would be there, and we hadn't really been chatting, and I was like, need to look my best. Absolutely. Need to be a fine ray. Of course. Portuguese fine, right.

Of course. So I get there. Oh, no. And the problem it is, is that he was really awkward. The reason why he was awkward was because he'd gotten back with his ex-girlfriend. Right. Hence the non-chatting. Okay.

Okay. But I wasn't... Which were men that they can't just be up front? I literally was not aware of this at this point. And I could see him, because obviously I knew where he was in the group. I was, like, chatting to people, but I had... My periphery was over. Oh, you've clocked him.

Yeah. And then I look over and I can see him and his best friend literally like looking over and like laughing and whispering to each other. No, that's the worst. And I literally was like, What was going on here? Is this play about me? I was like, what's going on? And I'm, I never beefed them on it, but I am 100% certain that they were talking about me because then shortly after he went over and then like got with his girlfriend very openly and also looked at me right before he did it. So I had a feeling that that was all kind of like targeted towards me. Stop. But that was probably like two conversations that I'm like, this is about me.

This is about me. That is all that. But you're also like, what are you saying? Tell me what you're saying. I want to know what you're saying. I wish I was drunk. If I was drunker, I think I would have gone up to him being like, what the fuck have you got to say? What are you saying?

Literally what are you saying. Were you whispering about like a child? Yeah. Like just say it to page. Say it to mama. Yeah. What about you here? The only thing that I could come to mind when I was thinking about it

was actually to do with Archie. And it was when we were in halls. So one of the guys that we lived with, who, you know, who was next to me in halls in the room next to me, who I was close with. I was chatting to him about how I felt about Arch. Yeah. Being like, I just feel like this,

but I don't know if I should take the risk. Yeah. I'm just, anyway, I saw a text pop up on this guy's on my housemates phone from Arche, the night of the Christmas, saying she looks so fucking hot. Oh my God. And I said, who's he talking about? And this friend was like, who do you think he's talking about? I was like, me.

And he was like, yeah, opened up, such a good friend, opened up, and they've been texting for literally like the last five minutes all about me. He was like, what do you think I should do? And he's like, go for it. And she's like, bub, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, I said, oh, my God.

And then I was, like, can I see the rest of messages? And then he was like, yeah, okay. And then I was like, scrolling back. And then, like, screenshots of things. I was like, I love this. Oh, my God. I know, I love this. Right, you ready to see brief?

Yes. Okay, so, dilemma. Dilemma, sorry. Tell me. So, you're going to love this one. Okay. It's called the bub files. Boyfriend and secret chat

Okay Hey girls I need to debrief with you Because I am spiraling Hope this isn't too long But stay with me here I've been with my boyfriend For a little over a year now

We live together I know it sounds early But it was normal for us Don't judge Right No judging, don't worry Everything has been perfect Until literally last weekend

I was using his iPad Yes I'm an iPad bell love to watch something and a Snapchat Snapchat's taking me out anyway but I'm with you I'm with you I'm with you and stay with you I'm a girl's girl and a Snapchat notification pops up it's from a girl I've never heard of

so naturally I tap on it oh yeah absolutely I swipe to the left to see what she said so that I don't have to read it fully it says night bub with a kissing face emoji But, like, bub. Obviously, I opened it. And girls, it's not just one message. It's a whole snap combo going on.

What? Flirty, inside jokes, and can I say he's never mentioned me? Nor has he ever mentioned her to me. There's nothing blatantly sexual. They haven't said, I want to do this to you, I want to do that. But it's giving emotional affair. She literally sent a mirror selfie in a towel, the other day.

I confronted him about this because I was like, this is getting out of order. Before I confronted him, I thought, well, I can't really say much because I have gone onto his phone and checked his messages. But I was like,

yeah, I get you, vibes. But the photo and the towel did me over. So I went up to him and the way he reacts, he says, you're overreacting. She's just a friend. I didn't tell you because I knew

you'd get like this. Lies, lies. So now I don't know if I'm crazy or I've just caught a man being a professional gaslighter is this cheating and would you consider this breakup worthy i need someone to debrief with because i'm losing my mind right lies manelli lies that's what it is i'm telling you now i i just i fucking hate men they're the worst i had that my my ex-boyfriend had a girl teed up for when we broke her oh they're awful and it's because And it's one of those things.

It was a girl that he worked with friend. And what I later found out after we broke up and they started to see each other immediately was that she visited him on shift the three nights a week he worked. She was there because she was seeing her friend. Why you were still together? While we were still together.

For weeks, for weeks and weeks and weeks. Was it cheating? No. No, it's not. Did they end up together? Yes. Yes. Are they still discovered, do you know?

No. Laffable. So I'm like, that, that, I'm like, no, technically it's not cheating. It's not. But do I think he's entertained, if you're entertaining other options, you're not committed, are you? And if you're acting single, that's cheating. Yeah. And also, the acts in which he's doing is one lying.

Yeah. and is to being deceiving that do you want to be with someone who's got those qualities anyway? No. I think, and also his response makes it 10 times worse for me. Oh, yeah. Because if he was like, oh, darling, I'm sorry, like, we are just friends.

I'd be more than happy for you to look through at my messages. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah. None of that. No. He says, you're overreacting. She's just funny. I didn't tell you because I didn't get like this. It's the immediate gaslight.

And also, it's the blame. It's now making you be like, oh shit, like, and make you... I think you really need to think, look, Katie and I can't tell you to break up with him. No. Because, yes, he hasn't, she said. Technically not. Yeah, technically hasn't. However.

But I think you need to, like, seriously think about this. I genuinely, like, if you think there's something more to this, there is. Yeah. Your gut feelings are never wrong. Let me, hopefully this can help. If this happened to me in Arch, this would be a huge issue. Yeah. This wouldn't be, let's have a sit-down convo over a base face pizza and we'll sort it out.

This is not. This is like we're going to have a serious issue. Yeah. Because you've kept something from me that's with this other girl. Why is she sending you photos in a towel and why have you then guessed it? This is a serious issue. Serious. So I think how you, and also, I'm not, I'm not,

never blaming you but I think it's interesting that there was something that you found, that you knew that you, like I think deep down did you know he was like this? I don't know.

Don't let the fact that you're living together mean you've got to stay with it because you've got so many options. So many options. You've got all so far. Seriously, you can stay wherever you cannot stay with a man because you're financially...

No, no, no, no. Okay, you ready for the second one? Yep. The without me, group chat, friend group exclusion. Oh, my stomach's just sunk. I know. Hi, besties. I just found out my friends.

All my friends, all five of them were in a group of six, made a secret group chat behind my back, and they literally named it after me. I'm not even joking. I saw a screenshot on one of their phones. It was a chat called, no, let's pretend my name's Bethany. so it was no Bethany and I wasn't in it. The messages, yes, they were literally talking all about me,

saying I talk too much, that I overshare, that I make everything about myself. One of them even said she's going to trauma dump again if we let her vent first, avoid her at all costs today. Oh, God. Bearing in mind, I am at school still, so I'm 17, and I'm sure it sounds minuscule to both of you. no it doesn't but this is my life at the moment schools my everything my friends are my

everything i confronted one of them that i feel i'm the closest with yeah and who i feel although it was on the group chat hadn't said anything yeah and she goes oh my god it's not that deep we just needed a space to talk freely we know you know we love you though do you because now i feel like the joke of the group the girl that they perform for in one chat and roast in another. And like, am I the villain or are they just fake? Please can you help me, girls? Because this, I'm seriously questioning everything.

I've even found out that there was a vent that we all bought tickets for and we all cancelled at the last minute because the girl said it was cancelled. It wasn't cancelled. They lied to me and they all went. That's horrid. These aren't your friends. And I'm really sorry. That's really shit.

That's really shit. There's nothing, there's actually, and especially at school there is nothing worse. I nearly cried because at work, I was at one of the jobs I used to work. Everyone was really, really close and I was new and I felt really on the outside. And there was also another girl that started that was new at the time. And they made a group chat with just her, even though we were like, there was four girls. And it was a group chat with three of them and not me. And I cried and I'm literally 24.

Like, it's horrible. Maybe it's real. It's so real. It's really, really horrible. And although it's like hard because you want to try and salvage something, but I'm like, don't give these people your time of day. And you know what's going to irritate them even more is if you do not give them the time of day? Yeah. Because what they want is for them all to go, did you hear what Bethany did?

Did you hear what? Oh my God, did you hear what Bethany did your home? Yeah, yeah. Before you know it, one of them will get the heat. Yeah. They'll be coming to you going, oh, like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, this is real. This is now. Once they get bored with you, this sounds horrible,

but once they get bored with you, they're going to then have an issue with one of the other girls. Oh, yeah, massively. And have a group chat without her and include you in it. And that will be your time to be, I'm not involved in this drama. Yeah. I think, I even think the girl that you're closest with to be like it's not that

we just needed a space to talk freely aren't your friends. No. I don't think she's even your friend. and I think I think you actually should create some distance. And what will annoy them, I remember having this big fallout at school with some friends over a big deal and the girls that I had a fallout with were angry with me

and they wanted me to be, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I want me back, I want, and they didn't. And I completely dug my heels in, said, apologised, but then thought, well, I've apologised and you're not taking it on. So I'm going to crack on with my life. I can't keep waiting around until you like me again.

And I just made a new group of friends and I was much happier. But it fueled them. Years later, some of them said, we miss you or some of them reached out. Yeah, yeah. You know, I think you need to now, this is your, everything happens for a reason. And although this is really shit and I'm so sorry. And it is your world at the moment. I completely understand that.

I get that so much. Yeah. It makes sense. but although they've actually done you a favour. They have. Because they've shown their true colours. Yeah. What are they going to do, treat on your boyfriend? What are they going to do, bitch about you?

Yeah. Start your period or what they're going to do. You know, there are so many things. You don't want friends like that. You want friends you can trust. This is now an opportunity to leave that group with your head held high. Yeah. And find you friends.

Now, I'm not saying you have to say to them, I'm leaving this group. You guys are bitching. You literally silence. is the biggest... Oh, yeah. You can take a step back and instead of looking at that group,

look around. But you know what? Jessica's always really nice. I might just sit with Jessica at lunch now. And before you know it, you've made a different group. Exactly. Don't rely on them.

No, you've got this. We've got a last one. iPad Family Feud. iPads everywhere. Secret alliance in the family. Hey girls, I just found something on my cousin's phone and now I feel like I'm in the middle

of the secret family war. Oh. We were at a family barbecue a few weekends ago. Yes, I've been sitting on this. And my little cousin asked me to help her with her iPad update. Okay. When I say little, she's 16 and I'm 25. hilarious.

I opened messages to check something out as there was a pin that you had to get for. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not me stumbling into a whole secret convo between my auntie and her daughter, my cousin, trashing my mum. Like full on scheming, saying my mum is so insecure,

mocking her new boyfriend, calling him trashy, planning how to accidentally forgetting to invite her to a family trip next month. Oh, my God. Oh, and the best part, they said, I'm brainwashed by my mum

and too loyal to the wrong side. If only we can get her on our side so she can see the truth. God. Her mom is top. sick. I didn't say anything at the moment, but now I have sat on this for two weeks and I still feel sick. I still live at home, so I'm around my mum all the time. And can I say, my mum and I have a really, really close relationship, but I can't even look her in the eye, nor them. Do I tell my

mum and blow the whole family dynamic up or do I keep the piece and act like I never saw it? I need someone to unpack this with me because it's giving betrayal and I don't know how to play it. I'd tell you, mum. I would tell you. you, ma'am. I think you should tell you, ma'am, I think something you're going to learn. Actually, you probably you already have learned is that there's more betrayal in families there and anywhere else. Yeah, yeah. You know? And unfortunately, sometimes just because it's blood's thicker than

water, it can still create tsunamis. And scheming can happen against your own family, all this kind of stuff. But who you do trust is your mum and who you do love is your mum so i think you need to sit down with her or even be like oh mum she go for a walk you know grab a little starbucks get one of the new festive drinks or you could be like oh do you want to sit and watch a movie girls movie and then just be like i've been really struggling with something and because she loves you and cares about you she's going to really want to listen to machel you're okay exactly and you know she'll listen to what you have to say what what i would suggest doing is

To keep emotions out of it, tell the facts. Yes, exactly. They're such bitches anyway. She's so jealous. Literally just say, even if you want to write it on your notes at before, so you don't stumble. Or, you know, sometimes you add in a detail that didn't actually happen. You know, write it down on your notes and then you can say to your mom,

I helped with the iPad, I saw that they called her insecure, I saw they called her boyfriend trash, and I saw that they were saying the brainwashed you. You know, your mom could say, oh, oh honey, they've been doing this silly nurse for years. Yeah, yeah. You know, you never know. But I think, don't keep this to yourself. No, don't.

No. Talk to mummy. Ix. Ix. I've got one. Yeah, I've got one. Okay. Ready?

Mine is, when you catch someone speaking about you, so you beefed them on it and you're like, oh, and what are you talking about? And they're like, oh, no, no, no, we didn't mean it. I'm like, well, you did. You did, and that's all right. That's okay. Yeah.

But don't bat pedal. Say it all your chest. Don't back pedal. No. I don't like that. No. If they're like, my God, she's so overbearing. Me?

No, but like in a really fun, love a book. No, keep saying it. No. You were going to say something. Finish your sentence. Yeah. Keep going. Yeah.

It's like, we've just started this program, the girlfriend's, and she walks into the boyfriend's mom and the boyfriend's mom's best friend saying her name's, a stripper name. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she doesn't, her name's cherry. Yeah. But she takes it on the chin.

She's like, yeah, and you wouldn't believe how many cherry pop jokes they made or she's popped to cherry and all of that. I said, good on you, because I'd be like, what the fuck, do I mean? Literally. Okay. Really? Yeah. Okay.

So my ick is when people join in only to avoid getting hit. Oh. So if I'm sat around in a cult, we hate Katie, we hate Katie, we hate Katie, we hate Katie. I actually don't hate you see, but I don't want them to hate me. So I'm going to say Kate is the literal worst level in the world. Why? Have a back boat. It's a very high school thing and I think we've all been caught in it before.

Everyone's done it. I completely understand. But there's a moment in which you literally like, I mean, I even experienced doing this, being one of the cult and then going to something else. I don't really not like her. I love that. And they're like, who too? So actually, it's usually the leader that's the biggest head.

The issue, yeah. Questions? Yes. Questions? I'm serious. And I'm Philly. Okay. Do you think that people have a right to keep parts of their communication hidden

or should honesty always come up in close relationships? I do. Yeah, I do. I'm like, there are some things that you don't always need to. You don't need to share. No. No. I don't think there are like.

Like, when I think of like, yeah, friendship stuff. Like, your boyfriend doesn't need to know, like, ins and outs of friendship things. I don't think. I think it's so normal to have your own thoughts and feelings. Yeah. That's why you have the subconscious. It's why you have that bread that you think, oh, my God, what I think? You know, it's why would people say, like, would you rather people could read your mind?

But I'm like, I would never want people to read my mind. Oh, God, no. Because the things you think in your head and it aren't always rational. He could just be a response to something, you know? So I don't think everything needs to be disclosed. And I think if people think they have, I think that's quite an anxious and like an attachment style of having to like confess everything, which isn't the case.

Yeah. Okay. So my silly question is, would you rather your secret chats, your own secret chats, project above you into subtitles that everyone can read. Oh my God. I'm just thinking about our charts. They are savage.

I'm like, okay. And everyone can see, it doesn't matter where the person you're talking about is, it's like the fucking Batman signal. Is it on top of my head when I'm doing it? Yeah. Okay. But like say we're talking about Betsy right now.

Yeah. It's going to project into the sky wherever Betsy is, Betsy can see and be like, these fucking bitches. Okay, okay. Or never be able to have. a side chat. No, I'll have the subtitles. I can't, I can't not be able to be like,

no, I know. Is she fucking you off? And also, not all of it, but most of what I say to you is valid. It's valid. And also, yeah, we take it to the extreme

and be like, she needs to be squashed. Like, I cannot stand her right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yes.

There's some of a restaurant of things where I'm like, you know, she picks mint chock chip instead of, like, chocolate, I'm like, pick me. I know, I know. Yeah. But surely individuals would be wise enough to be like, that's best friend chat. Right, right? Yeah. And I just have to deal

with the repercussions and I just have to stick closely by you. Be like, sorry about that. Yeah, yeah, I'd be like, look, sorry when I'm with Katie, like, far out. We always take each other on really. We like, I love you. And we're not telling you this so you know see uh we know it's a bit at least the next time we do it again you'll see it again yeah and you'll know what to expect and you'll know what to expect maybe you could

take some of the critique on board yeah if you sat and listened maybe it actually opened your ears somewhat but i could never not bitch like if i was frustrated and i couldn't come to you being like are you seeing what i'm seeing right now i'd be like like even that girl that we met the other night that was really interested in our Oh, yeah. Dinner party night. Yeah. And that girl who had a boyfriend

really was inappropriate with our friend. Like, if I couldn't bitch about that, if I just had to sit in my room like, Mother Mary. Sit and just... I couldn't go. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

It's about who I am. Exactly. It's like when Blair's like, scheming's a part of who I am, mom. Yeah, it is blah. Yeah. Right, you're ready? Yeah.

Goodbye, my lovelies. Goodbye, my friend. What was our song? When the hell is my husband? Woo-hoo. Bada-man-a-man-ma-ma-ma. Such a good song. So good. So, so, so good.

Right, bye, guys. Have a great week. We love you.