The Debrief - Do I Follow My Head or My Heart?! | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! This week we are discussing the topic of CHASING YOUR DREAMS! We dissect all the positives and negatives for living out your life goals, all whilst answering your q’s and dilemmas. As always email us: [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcastHave an amazing week! Lots of love,K+K xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

welcome to the tea break hi guys hey how are we feeling good i'm actually gonna hold this hair today so that i don't have to reach as far i quite like it yeah that's much as well yes i'm feeling a bit rough i know i'm feeling a bit rough yeah i know but i'm okay i'm all good yeah it's one of those where i'm like oh tomorrow i'll be fine and i wake up and i'm like i think i feel better yes you know yeah but all good from this end how about you you've got a really busy week i'm feeling good yeah guys i'm back she's back i'm back i'm back in the building oh yeah you know oh i'm roaming those hallways oh yeah people are fearing me they are yeah i was actually saying that yesterday when you arrived did the building tremble because your ass was back in the building

yeah it did it did and so many people were like we thought we were missing something and it was your ass and i was like yeah guys i Actually, the prop department from London contacted me. No way, did they? And they said, yeah, yeah. They asked me if I had any, like, spare cotton material. Oh, I said, I'm afraid I don't because they're trying to make you a bigger thong. Shit.

Oh, fuck. And they're struggling. And they said they can't find anything that fits your ass. I was like... Oh, man. How we joke, guys. How we joke. It's Monday morning. How we joke guys how we joke it's monday morning how we joke we're feeling fabulous okay so let's crack on tell me a mantra for this week my mantra this week is i am capable of

anything oh i love that is that because you've got a chaotic week on i've got a bit of a chaotic week on i just need to kind of get through this week and then we start like full-time rehearsals and i feel like i'm kind of finding my footing a bit more. But like this week, like for some reason, I think it's quite cruel actually for me to be off for six weeks and then they throw in like several assessments in the first week back.

I'm like, guys, I'm shy. Katie had one today. She's got one tomorrow. Michael, tell the debriefers about how shy you are. Guys, I literally take like- She was shy again. She shat herself. I was so shy.

I literally started, you know, when you come back like summer yeah and you see everyone like in your year and you're just like like i was shy people like hey katie i was like hi it was so embarrassing i was like oh my god and then after like 20 minutes i'm like fine yeah but genuinely i get the nerves i was nervous so basically i was good i'll talk about it later in more detail but i recently went on holiday with a few friends yeah and a few of them i see like yearly like it happens every year when we go on this holiday i was shy i was nervous hi oh she was like no you asked me you were like how you feel i was like i'm nervous i was like i get that you haven't seen people in a while yeah yeah actually what's your mantra my mantra is i appreciate every

single day oh i like that a lot yeah i really like that i'm in this limbo at the moment yeah where i'm waiting for a lot of like results and stuff from like auditions from applications yeah so i'm in a limbo and i keep saying to myself oh next week wait till next like let's get to it and i'm like bloody hell I'm not even appreciating today and so much is going on you know like I was planning a podcast I was like yeah next week I was like oh god you really need to stop thinking ahead you know I really need to just kind of take day by day step by step your teacher said remember day by day yeah you can handle the day so I just need to appreciate every day and you know nothing better than

Mama Leach saying you need a bit of gratitude be grateful yeah and every day I'm like yeah okay I'm appreciating this yes you know doing the podcast

today got lots of nice things on I just need to kind of you know yeah not be so rushed with it all because that really stresses me out

you know so I'm good and my song this week is I'm not going to sing it I was about to say you my song this week is, I'm not going to sing it. I was about to say, you don't have to sing it. I'm not going to sing it, but you're going to sing it for me. Oh, my God, I'll sing it.

You'll know it, okay? Oh, wait, I'll whisper it. I'll whisper it. Oh, my God. That's cruel. That's cruel. That is cruel. Katie.

Go on, sing my song. Come here, rude boy, boy, can you give it up? Come here, rude boy, boy, can you sing it up come here rude boy baby baby love me love me love that song rude boy love it i was listening to it recently at the gym and i was just like no song better no song but i tell you oh tell me did you know what the lyrics meant until you grew up i was like can you get it up oh boy boy if you're big enough oh big i was like as in as in penis it's in between the legs as in the triangle oh my god it's like what's that flow right is that i want to blow your whistle baby was yeah i remember

my sister actually told me what that was because i was singing it like full purse oh you got on the stray and harrogate i was like and love was like do you know what that means i was like lily i was like she told me i was like i am an idiot i was like oh my god so what's your song for this week my song is oh i need your loving eight days a week eight days a week like the beatles eight days a week love the beatles came on in a music round in a pub quiz and i've been listening to it non-stop oh my god how was the pub quiz oh my god i came second did you fuck right off i came second yeah was it all music related well no so the that we weren't winning in the first they do big rounds like three big rounds of like and we check in after each one fantastic we were dead last in the first round oh which was like general knowledge

which made sense politics yeah actually i did get one because they were like when's the election and I was like 4th of July yeah July the 4th 4th of July yeah but then the music round

there was like 20 points up for grabs great we had a perfect music round didn't miss a single point every single thing every single thing we got right

and do you know what even got me there's like an obscure song you know the kind of song you hear in films but it's like a one hit wonder and you don't know who it's by but you know like you know the song yeah the girl like a one hit wonder and you don't know who it's by but you know like

the song. Yeah. The girl I was with went God, and I can't even remember who it's by now but she says God,

this reminds me of like the penny dropping single handers. So she's like I'll just write it down it might be them. Writes it down. It is them.

Peace on. And I was like perfect score. She got us our perfect score. It was sensational. Because was that the only one that you guys, like, not really sure about that? Yeah.

And then she was like, I think it could potentially be. Wrote it down. It was. And I was like, oh, my God. And then we were in the lead. And then, again, it was another general history round. Now, that's also where I stumbled. I was a slacker.

Stumbled. But we won a packet of crisps. What crisps? Big hoops. Big hoops. No,umbled. But we won a packet of crisps. You come second. What crisps? Big hoops. Big hoops. No, not even. No, they were pub crisps.

So they were bougie. Oh, nice. I got garlic and mushroom. Nice. Really nice. Okay. I would go back to that pub just for those crisps. Talking about general history.

Yeah. My Australian friend who's trying to get a British passport had to apply for the citizenship thing. And with the citizenship thing, you have to do a test. She was telling me all these different things you had to answer a test. Yeah. One of the questions was, what king of England

fled to France or something and hid in a tree? Hid in a tree? Excuse me? It's like, oh, that makes you British. I don't know. That makes you British, yeah.

You're in. I was like, you're in. You know what that is. You're in. I was like, what? No fucking clue. The only thing I know about history is through horrible histories. Best thing ever. As it should be is you're in I was like what no fucking clue the only thing I know about history

is through horrible histories best thing ever as it should be if I think I think if I met any of the horrible histories gang I would fangirl massively I would yeah

I would be starstruck actually if I met the horrible histories gang especially the main guy you know the like Charles II guy oh Charles II oh my god

I literally love them fangirl recommendation so this week my recommendation I literally love them. Fangirl. Recommendation. So this week, my recommendation is Albania. Hell yeah. So I just went to Albania. Rogue, I know.

Yeah. Very rogue. With a group of friends, which was lovely. It was really, really nice. Now, what I would say, fantastic if you want to save a bit of money. Yeah. My God, it was cheap was cheap like we were having these five course meals like mitchell and star group of seven of us yeah and we had like i think we had

three courses each bottles of wine two cocktails yeah nibbles all of that and it came to like 30 pounds each that's brilliant isn't it it was that's rad it was absolutely rad i would really go i think next time i really want to go to the south of Albania. It's been said that it's Dua Lipa's favourite holiday destination. Really? South of Albania. Beautiful beaches. Really cheap.

Quite chilled. Because obviously it's bordering Greece. Yeah, it looks gorgeous. You can get like a flight to Corfu and then like a boat to like the south of Albania. Which apparently is quicker. And then obviously it's also close to Italy. So it's kind of got those vibes. Nice.

Really nice for like a chilled. We only went for three nights. Yeah. Had lots of booze. Probably that's why I fight to my throat. Lots of booze, lots of food. Yeah. Did a bit of sightseeing.

The weather was really nice. Yeah. So I'd give it a go. Amazing. I know. Let's debrief. So this week we are talking all things chasing your dreams. Love you, Paige.

Yes. We're going to just discuss like positives, negatives, obstacles. Yeah. We have lots of dilemmas this week to talk about as well as our own experiences. Yes. And we asked the debrief how many are currently chasing their dreams. Yes. So before we go any further, can we discuss between the two of us your thoughts and feelings

between chasing your dreams and maybe doing something more conventional? Yes. You know? Yeah. I don't want to say chasing your dreams isn't conventional because I was really toying with this saying chasing your dreams or something else and then I thought actually they all could be chasing their dreams yes yeah you know between that your thoughts on the idea of chasing your dreams is it something that you're doing yeah you have done you've always done or if you had to put it aside at some time interesting because i do feel like

it sounds really like wank but i feel like i'm chasing my dreams right now and i'm loving it like it's so much fun but i think it's interesting because there are so many people that go out to chase their dreams and then fall into the thing that they were always meant to do through doing that yes because and i also feel like it's always nice in the sense that whilst you're chasing your dreams whatever you have going on as well that might not be that it's very easy I found as well when I've worked other jobs alongside wanting to pursue performing and musical theatre it's very easy to feel very validated by the job that you have on the side as well and get quite swept up in that environment and that thing because

you feel like you can do that job quite well and you really wanted and it's you were almost kind of building a secondary thing at the same time yeah i love that um but i mean i've had friends that wanted to go to uni it was their dream to go to uni to do one thing and then got halfway through and was like actually i'm gonna try this and then now they're like i can't believe i ever wanted to do like economics you know what i mean so it's a really interesting thing because it's ever changing isn't it yeah it really is and also like the road is always so like cringe but the road is always changing yes yeah you know like i was even thinking today this is ridiculous this is not chasing my dreams but i was listening back to a previous episode of ours

about hot girl summer yes and in it i say how i was gonna go to a previous episode of ours about Hot Girl Summer. Yes. And in it, I say how I was going to go to Santee, but I couldn't have COVID. Yeah. And I thought to myself, if I went to Santee, would I have never met Arch? Yeah. I was like, so much was, because I was like, well, there's a reason, obviously COVID happened, but there's even more reasons why I didn't go. Like, would I have met someone out there?

Yeah. So I'm just so like. Butterfly effect, isn't it? Yeah. Like the road is so strange it's crazy what about you um I think actually a friend asked me recently how did you know you wanted to do what you do in the sense of acting like why did you want to do and I've always known yeah you know yes I had a moment where I was like doing a production in like the sound of music I was really young it was like my first like professional production and of course they got the buzz from that but I've always known yeah now with the creative industry it's it's really high highs and really low lows yes yeah and you

have to gain a real self-assurance strength love to get through it. And I think, I think I'm always chasing my dreams. Yes. I think, you know, these last few weeks, especially I've had some really, really huge things that happened audition wise that I'm like, God, if I knew that two, three years ago, I'd be like, Oh my God, how did you do that? This podcast, like this is tracing your dreams in a way of creativity, in a way of performance, in a way um interacting with an audience and creating a community I think there has been times like applying for jobs where it's not acting yeah where yes I have had to put that aside because whether that's money or yeah you know also gaining life skills but that doesn't mean that doesn't mean that I've forgotten yes exactly it's never forgotten yes it's just

I don't know the word it's all right yeah you know it's it's life yeah it's always there it's just you can't just sit there waiting you have to apply and do your stuff but also crack on yes you know 100% we asked the debrief listeners to take part in a poll whether that if they are chasing their dreams currently or have other priorities so 60 said yes i wouldn't dedicate my time to anything but and then 40 said no i need money i have other priorities at the moment so let's break that down yeah because i feel like it's it is correct i think it's a hard one because i think when you see it in the movies i'm gonna go chase my dreams. They go get on a bus, go to the big city and then meet a producer straight away and then get it.

And I actually actually on that, which is a slight tangent, social media nowadays only shows people's instant career overnight successes as well. Completely. Which I think can discourage people. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. successes as well completely which i think can discourage people yeah it's oh god yeah it's very like it is and you see people literally come straight out the bat and then go straight into success it feels like really disheartening yes yes but and really demoralizing if you're like i've worked on they are 10 years younger than me yes you know i've worked on this for years like i

know quite a few people we know a few few people that are a lot older than us. You know, at the end of the day, we're only 21 and 23. To be honest, what we're doing, I'm so proud of us. But we know people 10, 15, 20 years older that are like, what you're doing, I haven't done. Yeah. Okay. You know, that's hard, especially when,

but then we can look at people who are 18 17 who have gone on to and we're like 100 and i think it's one of those things that i feel like you can do both oh yeah and i think sometimes the idea of giving up a dream i actually don't think is a thing really no because no even if it's like it can be like for example if you wanted to be an artist yeah you can still work a full-time job and even dedicate time to like just drawing and submitting locally yeah like that's still you doing what you love and you chasing that dream completely nurturing a hobby in that way 100 and the whole chasing your dream doesn't mean billionaire fame you know no it doesn't mean

that all that means is like fulfillment for your own creativity yes well it might not be creativity we're talking for our aspect yeah but it may be for whatever that dream is as you said you could have a full-time job being a lawyer but you love art yeah which means every saturday you go to your local community center i don't know and do some drawing with i've no idea yeah that is still chasing a dream yeah 60 those big 60 years i'm glad i would love to know how many of that is in london yeah because i've met so many people who says i've quit my full-time job to pursue a content creation or I've couldn't that's a big thing I've quit my full-time job to open my own yoga studio and I'm like shit yeah in that sense we were very fortunate we both went to drama school you know as a foundation yeah and then kind of went from that

yes we did like speciality PR like at the same time yeah yeah but that never lost whereas some people have done 10 years of something and been like ah no yes which i'm like get you go and it feels it as it feels nice in the sense that i feel like we've always had an idea of what we wanted to do in some capacity yeah but there are still ebbs and discoveries within that as well within the industries that you want to go in and as you get older like frontal lobes are still developing 100 is it 25 25 yeah we've got a few years honestly yeah but also i think that it's also on that choosing a different career path doesn't mean you've given up no which i also think is a really important point to make yeah like the 40 i don't want them to

be sat here thinking oh shit give it like because you haven't no you haven't at all in the slightest and also the things that you're gaining from that other people won't be so you're getting different experiences again everything happens for a reason yes so the reason you've had to prioritize finance yeah you've had to prioritize a career progression yeah that's okay yeah and also that will then lead you on to do bigger and better things that may make that dream easier yes because you've got more money for it or you know you've got the facilities whatever exactly so we're going to go on to challenges to chase your dream as we know as we just discussed chasing your dreams can be really

hard yeah and harder than expected as well yeah so we're going to talk about these obstacles because as you said you see online everyone you know I posted a tiktok now I'm famous yeah it's just oh god it's mad you know and the world is so different to how it used to be fame career fame and let's say especially in the arts you know it was a lot to do with looks yes it was a lot to do with like yes it was a lot to do with like your features now it's like completely different scale yeah it's not whether you are beautiful yeah it's not the Marilyn Monroe type yeah of course there'll still be some elements of oh you look interesting all that kind of stuff but it's ever changing but there are some obstacles to chase your dream and we want to talk about this because it is difficult it's not as easy as it it it comes across yes i think the first and the foremost is the lack of financial

support yes it can make it so hard absolutely you know how can you dedicate yourself to be a full time let's say athlete yes but you're not getting the funding for it yes how are you supposed to live then yeah how can you schedule that time in around other jobs? Yeah. Like how does how do you figure that out? And of course, there's some brilliant cases where people are very fortunate where they've got financial support from their parents. Yeah. But most don't. Yeah. So how do they cope? You know, how are they supposed to chase their dream if if they've got that in the way? Yes. And maybe that is when they look to, you know, like supporting groups and youth groups

and all that kind of stuff. Maybe that can help. Absolutely. One that kept cropping up was belief in yourself. Oh. And I think that's such an important thing to touch on. Yeah. And especially, again, with the way society,

I think, now is wired, and I'm not all-knowing, but I do think there is such, with the likes society i think now is wired and i'm not all knowing yeah i do think there is such with the likes of social media instant gratification yeah is yeah what like and careers take years to establish i think we forget lawyers like lawyers doctors and people in the creative industries like nicola cocklin yeah right now who's um in bridgerton is 36 37 and she got her big like kickoff with dairy girls and that was when she how old was she then maybe like 31 32 fantastic god she's doing well yeah so when you think about stuff like that that's all of her 20s she spent working towards that yeah people take that in corporate it takes years to have that career progression yeah and I

think it's hard when you see on social media like you said someone posts a TikTok you go viral and all of a sudden they're on these all wealthy trips and it looks a certain way and you're like that's their full-time job and that's brilliant of course but it also can take a while yeah and as you said I loved that comparison Doctors can go train for six years. Yeah. You know, so why are you saying to a creative person, oh,

so what have you been in? Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You're halfway through being a doctor, like, becoming a doctor.

Yeah. Can you do surgery? Yes. Yeah. That's basically what you're asking me. Yeah. It's a really, I think people draw different comparisons.

To the categories of careers and what you're chasing yeah I completely agree and I think that when you see such success this always seems seemingly so instant yes it's easy for you to be like well I'm I'm never gonna like I'm not it's sad it's really sad and you are really kind of you have to be your own cheerleader you do you have to be your own cheerleader. You do. You have to get yourself out the door. And I think this is when like counselling is so important.

Yes. Because that counsellor will help you if you can, you know, to really keep championing you and that self-belief within yourself. Yeah. Because I think one thing that I do find, I remember it was something someone told me yeah once that I was thought was really interesting is that it's not necessarily the most talented person in the room that gets the job yeah but it's the one that keeps showing up yeah and is reliable and it is it is very oh god that would be beneficial in the next few weeks wouldn't it literally it's it's just it's not you could be the most talented person in the world but if you don't have the work ethic and the drive to keep showing up, keep doing the shows to know people, keep doing X, Y, Z, putting yourself out there,

you won't get noticed as much as Amy, who's been at your doorstep every day, not every day, but like been involved, been around, been active, been, you know, it's a very interesting thing. Completely. It's very helpful. And I even reflect on people that we knew at Mountview been around been active been you know it's a very interesting thing but i'm completely helpful and i even reflect on people that we knew at mountview when we were there who were really talented and some of them are now not pursuing that at all and and some of them for lots of

different reasons you know they've said i i realized that it wasn't something i wanted to do fine but others saying well i just wait i didn't. Sorry, you didn't get in one time. Yeah. So you're not doing it. Like, it's a real shame. Like, as you said, it's that, like, lack of, it's the fear. And that's the next thing I was going to say. I think fear is a huge thing.

Oh, my God. Fear of, like, the stability. You know, I'm not stable. Like, I don't have a stable, like, structure. I think that can be really scary and that can be something that puts people off from pursuing what they do they're like well I'm scared what happens if I don't have money what happens if I don't have like a stable structure to my everyday life yeah which fair completely fair because I think fear and fear of failure as well

can also be like really makes you stagnate. I remember like I've had it before where I'm like, I don't even want to try because if I fail, then I'll just be really embarrassed. Take the hit so hard. Yeah. And I think it's one of those things that it's inevitable. Absolutely. Especially trying new stuff, trying new things. Of course.

stuff trying new things like it is you will if you're learning to dance the first thing the first time you record yourself dancing versus when you do it in six months time it's going to look very different yeah yeah but it's the fact that you have to be like I know I'm not going to be the best in the room right now but if I persist I will get there it's like comparing yourself like trying a new hobby is like telling a baby how to talk yeah it's like you need to look how much you can do physically yes for some people I know that there are there are obstacles to that but you know as a child you can't walk you can't talk you can't communicate yeah you can't speak you can't speak different languages you can't write you can't read yeah and like of course people say oh that's so different but it's not like it was

the years of learning it was the years of adapting yes you know no one ever said right this is how you move your mouth to talk you know of course in some cases there there will be that yeah but but i was fortunate i didn't have to have that it just came through learning yes and adapting yeah but that's the same what if i say now right, right, I'm going to try out ping pong. Okay. Yeah. I don't fucking shit at ping pong. But hang on a sec,

if I give it six to a year, to a year and a half. Yeah. I'm going to be the best at ping pong in Putney. Oh, big time. You know it. Big time. You absolutely know it. Absolutely.

Shall we crack on or do you have anything else in that department? No, I think we've covered it all. Cool. Let's go. anything else in that department no i think we've covered it all cool let's go so we have the debrief dilemmas oh we do the listeners have sent in some dilemmas that we will depict which is to do with chasing your dreams i love her so have you got one for us

you go oh my god i love this one so much i love her okay hi Kitty and Katie. This pod came at the perfect time and I don't know what to do. Need your help ASAP as I need to debrief. I need to stop laughing because this is so funny. It shouldn't be funny, but I'm like, yeah, I get you. My boyfriend is a professional dancer. Oh my God. Yeah. No, no, no.

Oh God. Okay. And he's always going for auditions and recording self-tapes. As I know, you are used to. Yes. Babe. Love a self-tape. Love a self-tape, babe.

Love a self-tape. The last three years, he has been finding it virtually impossible to find work. Well, creative work, anyways. Get that. Yeah, that's understandable. He has been doing a lot of workshops with teaching students dance to bring in the money anyways he has finally got his big break oh my god we found out yesterday that he will be performing on a west end show as one of the main acts oh my god the show is oh no magic mike oh oh god oh now girls i'm a marketing executive i have been for the last

few years i enjoy marketing but it doesn't define me whereas my boyfriend says dance defies him and his passion got you get that got you We both are completely different in that way. Not gonna lie, I feel really uncomfortable that he will be dancing half naked, stripping and grinding on women. Yeah. I've tried to support him. Oh. But I really don't know how to feel.

Oh. I know it's his dream, but I thought he'd be doing footloose or goose. Not stripping. Am I being unreasonable? He asked me if I'm okay with it and i don't know what to say yeah fair enough i love him and i don't want to stop him chasing his dream but i feel super uncomfortable please help a distressed and concerned listener i don't know what to do oh darling oh now i have been to see magic mike oh my god now, I have been to see Magic Mike.

Oh my God, you have? I have been to see Magic Mike. Tell me. Now, did the man grind on me? Yes. However, they make it very, I will also say, big fans of the girls' bathroom over here. Yeah, big fans. They have discussed this before, the idea of Magic Mike. It is, in my opinion, and I will back theirs as well,

a theatrical experience. I'm not going to the strip club. Okay. Can you explain why? So there's a female MC. There is a storyline to Magic Mike. There is. I'm going to defend it hard.

Okay. And it's all kind of about female empowerment right how we don't really need the sexy men but why not enjoy it oh now it depends what your boyfriend's doing because if they're one of just the main dance one of the dancer boys yes they might have to do the lap dances however at the beginning the woman is like if any of my boys come up to you don't touch them you're not allowed to like obviously like does she say that yeah this is hands off so i was shitting myself when there's this guy literally smells so good literally like

grinding all over me and my hands are like i guess i was like what did you do with your hands i literally was just like hands up is that what you have to do do you have to do this not necessarily but you just don't have to touch them but i just didn't feel like my arms by my side while he's just sat there like and they don't say anything to you so it actually is a bit of an awkward do they give you eye contact i wasn't looking i was scared i was shy i was like your shoes i was right because my friends are there so I was like I was like I was terrified oh my god but they also do do like they do have women dancers in there as well where they do like a sexy duet and that is choreographed because they are part of the ensemble so that may be more upsetting to maybe go I would about say go see it so you could kind of see what you're dealing with how would you feel

if your boyfriend was the magic mic i would struggle with that i think it would take a lot of like communication yeah and also what's the word like affirmation reassurance that it is just like a job because the dancing is insane like they're great dancers and i'm sure her boyfriend's a great dancer yeah and look i think we're coming from a very different area as she said she's a marketing executive this is not her passion she does the job you and i are creative so if our boyfriend was a magic mike we'd be like i'm so proud of you okay i feel slightly uncomfortable but you're chasing your dream we get it you know she comes from such a different like kettle of fish so she's like why are you wanting to grind on women and it's like but then my my question to her is yeah you're playing devil's

advocate yeah go on but if your boyfriend was in a western show where he had to do like an intimate kissing scene a little throw the shirt off bump and grind yeah with just one woman every night oh god i feel that's worse i feel that's worse than him grinding on some randos yes so it's an interesting because i feel like it kind of comes with the territory of the job with dancers and performers that at some point you will probably have to kiss someone. Yeah, yeah, it does. And that is just, and that's... That's the way of the world.

That's the way of the world, Katie Beach. That's like your trade call every Monday. Yeah, yeah. You know, I feel like... It's just like buzzing your little card in. Yeah. I think, look, I get why you're feeling comfortable. 100%.

If Archie came to me and he was like, I've just been cast in Magic Mike, I'd be like, okay. Okay. Right. I'd be quite excited. I don't know if I'd be quite erotically thrilled. No, because if my boyfriend was in Magic Mike,

I'd want him to run the routines with me. Oh my God. I would also come to every performance, be like, bring me on stage. Actually, that's quite sexy because if they give you like a special lap dance and just you and him know that like you're together and then you're like oh my god like and if he gives you a kiss on the cheek or something yeah i don't know the rules but like that's quite cute what i would say i get

what you're feeling a bit off with that yes but equally i think you can communicate that with him but it all goes down to how much you trust him. Yeah, that's great advice. If you trust him fully, this is a job. This is his passion. Yes. There is no way in God's earth you can ask him not to do this. Yeah. You know, you simply can't.

Yeah. If he decides he doesn't, that's his decision. But you cannot say, I tried that you didn't. He's been working towards this. He's a professional dancer and clearly he's a great dancer. It all goes down to how much you trust him. And if you feel you can communicate with him and say, I'm so proud of you. Remember, go in with the positives. Yes.

I'm so proud of you. This is incredible. I do feel a bit uncomfortable with it because I'm sure, you know, like the essence of the dancing. I just don't want other people to get the wrong idea. Yeah. Fine. Put it like that. I'm sure he'll understand.

I'm sure he's going to reassure you and say i know darling but it's almost like do you remember remember in friends when rachel's talking to that gynecologist yes and he's like yeah when i see them every day i don't really want to see them i think it's going to be like that in the sense of i have my own i have my own woman yeah i love and attend to. When I see all these women throwing themselves, it's a job. I get the job done. It's not like, ooh. No.

No, this is my job. And the amount of West End performers that have done interviews and always say, like, genuinely, when we're in the show and our mics are off and an ensemble number and something else is going on stage, I'm thinking about what I'm having for dinner. Yeah. Like, it gets to a point when you're doing something

so often you're on autopilot. and it is completely like you're fine and remember as case so these dancers seem to be very protected you know the woman said there's no touching so you know there can't be any misleading in that sense he's doing his job yeah he's performing he's a creative yes you know and that is great you just need to trust him and if you trust him you'll be absolutely fine and if you don't that's when yeah you know because there's a few boys that i know that i was like yeah if they were doing that they'd cheat straight away you know not my friends but some boys that i'm aware of so good luck darling yeah good luck hilarious so i've got one hi girls please help I've come from an extremely academic family who really encouraged me to go to university and get my dream degree at Oxford.

I'm just about to finish my second year and I've had this horrible revelation that I really don't want to stay anymore. And this dream really isn't mine. It's my parents. The problem is, girls, is that I have absolutely no clue what I want to do. I just know it's not philosophy. I'm terrified hilarious I'm terrified to have this conversation with my parents who are so proud of me choosing this path and degree as well as financially supporting me also I feel genuinely feel so guilty I don't know how to approach this or what to even say to my parents when they ask what I'd want to do instead have you ever felt like this please help she in her second year did you say at oxford okay it's summer now okay so we are in we're in june yeah and you're in your second year yeah it's a hard one i you need to have this conversation with your parents yes you definitely

do my advice to you would be it's the summer. So you're going to have some time at home. You're going to have some downtime. Brilliant. You're also going to be planning your graduation. Your third year is coming up. A year is a quick time. It goes very quickly. But equally, if you're unhappy, a year can be very slow.

Yes, yes. I don't know where you are mentally. If you're really struggling struggling then I think this is a whole different ball game yeah but if my advice right now would be I would talk to your parents yeah and say this is how I feel yeah I feel I've really enjoyed my time here try again the positives first and I can't appreciate you all more for really supporting me yeah however after this three year i don't want to do philosophy i i would give them that and i my advice to you would stick it out yeah because sticking it out you're two years in you're literally finished your second year now yeah

and the final year darling will be exams you know yeah and i i feared they would say are you just nervous about your exams and you don't want that. You don't know. Shut that down. So it's not as nervous about my exams. I'm going to get on with them. But I wanted to make you aware. I've really enjoyed my time here. And I've really appreciated everything you've done for me.

But I don't think this is what I want to do. Also, darling, because the fact you don't know what you want to do, doing this third year gives you time to figure it out. To figure it out. That's exactly what I was thinking. You know, it really gives you time to be like, what do i want to do and the more open you are with your parents yeah the more they can say okay let's think if your parents are open people if they really love you and i'm sure they do because they sound like they support you yeah yeah go that

way oh i don't know what i think i think it's bang on because i've i think finishing it yeah it completely depends on where you are mentally i do agree yeah um because you don't want to feel really unhappy i wouldn't advise that yeah but i think it's understandable to feel guilty in the sense i completely understand that yes but at the end of the day it is your life it is you can't live for your parents in a horrible way you know if this is what if you want to do something else and you're open to exploring something else taking this year I mean I shouldn't encourage taking a back seat with uni work but like you're taking this year to almost

explore other options yeah I would also say so many people you could apply for any graduate job with the degree you have yes Yes. So many people who work in like finance and corporate jobs in marketing that someone like who I saw on TikTok worked in a law office, had a degree in marketing like this. Yeah. There's so many different avenues you can take with the degree. And I think that would help you rather than hinder you. Yes. By finishing it. By finishing it, I think that can allow you rather than hinder you yes by finishing it by finishing it I think that can allow you to have more options with pursuing whatever you want yes with stopping it I think that would be really hard to then show whatever you want to do next with them saying so what have

you done I I didn't do yeah I didn't fit I think you should and also I I wouldn't be I wouldn't shut off the idea of a master's yeah yeah in something else yes if you're like okay well again not knowing what you want to do try something else if you're taking this year to kind of like zone in on what you might prefer to do try and find any postgraduate courses that might adhere to that yeah you know if you want to or apply to graduate jobs that adhere to that and then see where you kind of go i mean our friend did a degree that was very different to the graduate job he ended up getting when he first came to completely not to london but now only through that is he now doing what he loves

yeah so it's a very like yeah where you start isn't where you end up completely and it is really a stepping stone yeah it really is and i'm also wanting to reassure you that you know again please look after yourself mental health wise because we don't know what what place you're in but a lot of people don't enjoy uni you know uni's not what it used to be and for example it's not what arch is laughing yeah and arch is in a similar position to you He's done his second year and he's got one more year to go. And I can tell you this, one more year to go, he's now thinking, okay, it's given me time to really be like,

he knows what he wants to do. He wants to do a master in acting. But it's like, okay, this has given me a year to apply, to find all the things I need to do. I also spoke to someone who recently went to another uni and was there for five years, did a a master's then a PhD I'm not sure if they saw that she hates every second of it but she was like you know and the PhD yeah so I don't know I'm not close to her so I don't know the reason for that but what I'm saying is it's not right to feel unhappy but it's natural to not

always be happy about everything yes and you know what I think there's it's not right to feel unhappy, but it's natural to not always be happy about everything. Yes. And you know what? I think there's a very good point to be made in the fact on the topic of chasing your dreams. Yeah. You are not always going to enjoy it. Yes. Yes.

It will feel like even people in their dream jobs, it's still a job. Yes. Like there are still going to be aspects that you're like, oh, for fuck's sake. Like there has to be, that you're like oh for fuck's sake like there has to be you it's like anything yeah like consistency doing things like you don't always want to do it no you don't and you are still chasing your dream because although you don't know what specifically that is at the moment you're doing something yes you're doing something with yourself you're challenging yourself you're also also darling if you didn't do this you would

have never known that you didn't want to exactly yeah you've got to be and do you know what like there's no you haven't lost anything here no you've only gained yes yeah yeah 100 good luck okay so i've got two i've got one so let me ping pong you you ready yeah okay i hate more than anything in this world when someone asks you what you're doing or what you're pursuing what your career is whatever yeah and naturally we're in the creative industry so we say as we say and people go oh that's hard to get into i feel like kicking off yeah i'm like all right well i'll just give up then yeah you know what you've said it's hard to get into fine someone who's not even in the creative industry so you don't know anything about it anyway well then let me book a trip to france and just sit on my ass

the world go by hey yeah what it's i yes yes it's so offensive as well like oh well i can't work hard then well well well it's it's well if it's hard by all means let me sit down yeah well let me take a seat then let me not do it let me bow out gracefully everything's hard in life everything that you want is hard in life you know i'm like how patronizing that's hard to go to. Oh, get a grip. Literally. Get a lot. Yes. You ready? Yeah. So mine is on a very similar vein. Again, it is more specific to performing.

Yeah. When they go, oh, that's sweet. Or it's the, have you been in anything? And I'm like, no. It almost is like to me yeah tell me when if someone's just started a job yeah like we're in we're in training yeah and then they go if someone's like i've just started just started a job at jp morgan actually i'm doing finance oh you want any awards well no not fucking yet not yet give me a second so true literally I just and then it makes you feel like shit because you're like yeah oh no well like I haven't and then and it's almost sometimes as well like if you get in the

room for something and then you audition and don't get it yeah and then and then they're like oh that's i'm like you don't understand like no competitive yeah no you truly don't oh never mind then i'm sure you were great i'm like i'm sure i was i know yeah but like yes it's so irritating i'm like guys get it together okay my next one again we're all coming from the creative aspects okay really fucking irritating oh so what you do oh i'm an actor oh yeah or oh what's your actual job excuse me yeah what's your backup plan yeah darling i'm chasing my dream i'm chasing my dreams yeah you know and usually the people who say that are the ones that are so far from the industry they have no idea what the what anything is no the ins and outs and everything in between the

greyout they have got no idea literally what do you have a say to say any of this how dare you if i if i wanted to go be do medicine at oxford which is extremely competitive course i'm sure yeah get on but and still drama schools and then go oh but what's your backup plan are you still gonna be a doctor yeah like you're not just gonna be like you don't get in and then you're like oh well oh well never mind never mind hey i'll be a clown it's it's really odd to me and i also like i think people also don't understand on a similar vein with drama school auditions yes like again they and rant with the drama school auditions. Yes. Like again, they... Rant with the drama school auditions.

Like they, again, there is a highly selective process. Yeah. Similar to that of Cambridge and Oxford. Yeah. It's like one or two percent of that. People don't know that. Yeah. And like, I remember when I first auditioned and I remember like, like my parents get it

now, bless them. Yeah. But at the time they were like but like is it just like why and i'm like no no no no not in the slightest not at all like you get a degree but it's not uni yeah also there are 10 drama schools or like there are such a limited amount there's not one in every city there's not one in every borough like it's yeah you know and it's highly competitive yeah like thousands apply so it's one of those things that I'm like, no, guys. We're doing really well.

Yeah, we're doing so well. Thank you. Come on. Right, are you ready for a question? Yes, I am. Question. Question. So I'm serious.

I'm silly. Sweet. I'm sorry. So my question to you is is what do you think the main reason is for people to stop chasing their dreams or be hindered to chase them interestingly like personally what do you personally think not like statistically what are you like i i personally think fear of failure yeah okay is a big one yeah I read I I used to get really scared and in my head about failure quite a lot and I read a book called feel the fear and do it anyway

and it's actually a really really great book and it's like really really good when it talks about fear as a concept okay but I do think and it also ties in with self-belief okay because you're like oh well if i try that i'll fail like you people do talk themselves down from going for something yeah it's so bad it is so common and i find myself doing it well i possibly couldn't do that because you know i'm not and there's so many excuses to not yes yes what is it what if you fall but what if you fly what if you fly hey bitches yeah how about if those wings grow yeah yeah i think i think you are similar that i think the fear and also the finance i think it's the f's you know i think it's both of being like people don't have you know an income how can you

possibly have the time have the time and the resources yeah So I think probably a bit of both. Absolutely. My silly question to you is... Selma. Selma. Would you rather every dream you have become a reality or never dream at all? And that includes daydreams. But I'm telling you like every dream you have... Oh no, now my dreams are batshit.

Yeah, you have like... But my dreams are batshit. Or never dream. Right like are we talking physical dreams like i go to bed and i dream yeah or am i like my emotional dreams like my like so i'll be like a daydream so yeah so i'm like oh i dream to have a yacht do you know what i mean no no it can't be that because you could hack the system that way okay so it's my actual i go to bed and i go to bed and you dream but every single thing you dream will happen but obviously you have no real control over what you dream about uh see i've got a bingo card here i do control what i

may dream oh are you a lucid dreamer i'm a lucid dreamer so i've bingoed you that yeah i don't want to yeah i wish i could be a lucid so if i want to dream about something i i will dream about that night so if i'm like i really want to dream this, I'll go to bed, start it up in my head, fall asleep. It'll all... Oh my God. Sometimes, don't get me wrong, I'll have the weirdest dreams. I'm like, where did that come from?

Interesting. So I don't control that, but I can control what happens in the dream. Interesting. Yeah. So I'll be like... Oh my God, I'm jealous. I wish I could do that. Bloody love it.

So I'm taking the dreams, bitches. Yeah, you go for it. So I will have a yacht. interesting yeah so i'll be like i'm jealous yeah i could do that bloody love it yeah i'm taking the dreams bitches yeah you go for it so i will have a yacht i'll be like on your yacht in santa i dream that i have a yacht i know and then you will yeah how about you would you want to dream i don't how often do you dream i don't dream often so which is why i think i would rather every dream i have become reality i think it's because I'm a heavy sleeper. Ah. Yeah. What, heavy sleepers don't have dreams? If you sleep really heavily, you don't dream. Didn't know that.

I'm pretty sure. Did not know that. I think you only dream when you're in like a light state. Because I was dreaming this morning because my alarm went off and I snoozed it. And then I went like back to sleep within like the 10 minute snooze period. And then I had a dream and it was like the fire alarm was going off, but it was actually your alarm. And I was really disorientated for a sec. Yeah.

I love that. I love that. I always have that. Like when something's going on and then it's still in my dream. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Hooray.

Hooray. Right guys. We got to the end of the app. End of the app. Love you guys. Yeah. Thank you so much. Chase your dreams.

Okay. Love you. Let yourself fly. Yeah. Love you. Proud of you. You you you've got this yes have a great week love you