The Debrief - Festival Fiascos | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! This week we are discussing all things FESTIVALS, the good, bad and feral! As always please email any dilemmas to [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcastHave an amazing week, Lots of love,K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

welcome to the debrief happy monday monday guys i know hey aren't we glad to be here it's come down again and it always does it's one thing you can rely on. Monday will come right round. It's real though, because you know when you're at school and you're like, oh, Monday. Yeah. I've got so long till the weekend. I'm like, guys, don't wish your time away. Never wish it. When your parents say to you, best years of your life, don't wish time away.

They mean it. Yeah, yeah, they mean it. Don't wish it away. Monday's there for a reason. It is. To be grateful for the week. Oh, you know it. Actually, Monday was the. Monday's there for a reason. It is. To be grateful for the week. Oh, you know it. Actually, Monday was the longest day at school for me.

Yeah. Oh, I think we had one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I think we had eight lessons and then we had like CAPA afterwards, which was like Creative Arts Performing Arts, which I enjoyed. But doing it at like 7.30, it was like, oh my God, I'm knackered. Slog. Slog. Slog.

Big slog. What did you have on at school on a Monday? Monday was actually always pretty nice. I feel like I had double English at one point, but it was always there. We never backed back. I had like English at the start of the day and English at the end of the day

and it always felt quite nice. Tuesdays were the day for me. Oh, why? That I didn't like. Why? It was always sciences. Oh, no. And then maths. No. Sciences, then maths. And then like out of my didn't like why it was always sciences oh no and then maths no sciences

then maths and then like out of my gcse subjects it was like history oh really yeah and spanish i was like oh no it was terrible one my worst day would be if i had to do a science a maths what else did i hate um Oh, I hated French. Oh, I was terrible at French. French was nonsensical. No, no, I can't do French. Yeah, so if I had to do like French. Oh, I've got it.

French, Latin. So glad I never did Latin. Chemistry. Chemistry is actually the worst. At least physics is quite fun because it's just speed equals distance over time. We can all do that. we can all do that we can all do that balancing equations oh i've had many a breakdown over that did i ever tell you this one

time there was this guy sat next to me in chemistry he was so good yeah and anyway his name was paul chang and i was like he was a legend and he was sat next to me he was so good and i used to just copy his balancing equations i think i asked him like four or five times to explain and he did I still didn't get it yeah so I was like okay I'm only gonna have to do what God has now told me to and his arm is leaning too fast it's a sign let me see I'm taking the sign so I copied it anyway this had come after me absolutely beefing to my teacher for months being like I don't get it I don't get it i don't get it anyway he's starting to be like kit you really get it like you're so good anyway oh my god he walks around he's like looking at places paul's like i can't remember what he was doing he either like got up so he didn't look at his paper but he looked at mine and it was all correct

so she was like because you just want to get up there and show everyone how you do it shut up i was like not really no thank i'm shy i'm really shy despite what they say i'm shy i'm a shy soul please don't do this to me it was awful i like got up there and i started like making up i was like oh i'll say oh hang on a second this one's a hard one guys who's that you've already done it. And I was like, stump me. But they don't know how I've got here. Okay? I don't know. Show your workings. I know, right?

Ooh, don't let me do that. I remember that. Yeah, it was odd. Show your workings. And in maths. Yeah. But also when they were like, show your workings,

I was like, how could I not? Like, if they're asking me to do this big mathematical simultaneous equation and they're like, show your working, I'm like,

well, yes. Well, yes, I will. Ask nicely. I'm not a genius. Okay. simultaneous equation and they're like show you're working i'm like well yes well well yes i will ask nicely genius okay i try my best right shall we crack on what's your mantra for this week my mantra this week is everything will work out oh everything will work everything will work out everything will work out yes i love it out. Yes, I love her. Yes, get in. And why have you needed this this week? I feel like there are lots of things being chucked my way this week

that I'm literally like... She got told off today. I got told off. Like a fucking school. School girl. Like a school child. And do you know what's funny to me? Is I got too cocky.

Too chill. I got too cocky. I got too cocky. Why? Why? I was like... I know this. Oh, you cocky. I got too cocky. Why? I was like, I know this. Oh, you won't believe I

fucking know this. Oh, I know this. Like the back of my fucking hand. I am Stephen Sondheim. I know this musical at the back of my hand. And you were like, I'm prepared. So prepared. Never been more prepared in my life. Oh no. Got up there. Well, I completely missed a whole chunk of a scene I was meant

to be in. I was just sat on the side on my computer like and i got told off then you didn't feel so cocky and then i didn't feel so cocky so i was like oh humbled oh yeah you're like okay humbled okay but yeah what's your mantra this my mantra this week is i'm confident that things are working out for the best oh for me yeah i love that, I love that. I'm taking that as well. Everything's working out for the best, but for goddamn me, all right? For Big Chief over here, for number one,

numero uno. Yeah, I'm like, everything's working out the best for me. Absolutely. For the best, but for me, for example, guys. Tell me. We've got a flat guys i've actually just had to say to you that i know we said there's like a few months okay

and we actually didn't update you that we lost it okay we lost but you know what it's for a reason let's say it's got black mold it would have fallen apart we okay i because we actually haven't had the chance to debrief about this ourselves. Right. I walked to it yesterday. I walked to the flat. It's gorgeous. Oh my God. We have like a front entrance,

a side entrance and a back entrance. The back entrance, full car park. Side entrance is like a little narrow gate. It's like one of those little picnic gates. And then it's got like shrubbery and foliage. Maybe we could start gardening yeah i'll get me gardening hat on yes i think you should

um it's so nice so that's working out for me also i'm going to munich to see adele i am just so excited i cannot wait to see her sing on stage i'm like please sing i drink wine please say i'm so jealous it's gonna be so i am so excited i can't wait i'm gonna cry as well but i need you to record it all i need you to facetime me at least once this i will i will do you know what's annoying though it's like concerts like this and i think adele and oliva rodrigo are up there for me i wish I could be single to relate to the song. I'll take your ticket. I will take your ticket.

Your sacrifice. I, Adele, is someone I've wanted to see since her 19 album came out. Yeah. And I've never been able to get fucking tickets.

She's sensational. When I got my mitts on these tickets, I was like, and there were four tickets, but you couldn't have gone anyway, could you? No, I wasn't.

Right. Right. Right. Should we go to mitts on these tickets, I was like, and there were four tickets, but you couldn't have gone anyway, could you? Right, right, right, should we go to songs? Yes! My song of this week is Back on 74. Do you know that, Jungle? Leave me there Yeah! Yeah, I like that.

That's the one. Lovely. Love that song. What a jam. That is so much tune. And do you know what I like about this song? It gets to the point. Like, there's no leading up to it.

It's like... Yeah, straight to the action. Yeah, it's straight to the action. I love it. What is your song? My song is... Let's dance to the Joy Division And celebrate the irony

Everything is going wrong But we're so happy Let's dance to the Joy Division and celebrate the irony. Everything is going wrong, but we're so happy. Let's dance to the Joy Division by the Wombats. Which does relate to our topic this week. Our topic of what we're going to be talking about in a slight second. So hold your tongue, prick your ears and we'll tell you in a second. Yes. Shall we? It's for our Rekka Rekka recommendations.

Yes. It is. So I went to, talking about Jungle, this is why I've spoken about it. I went to like this festival for Jungle and they played all like a tribute to Jungle. So they played all their tunes. But it's also in this like a huge manor house. Yeah. So this huge man manor house is outside it's got like all the food vans or the drink vans it's got a real vibe it was it's a festival guys without having to be a festival love it and this is what it takes us on to today so guys this week we're talking about festivals we debrief? Let's debrief.

So, guys, this week we're talking about all things festivals. Festival drama, dilemmas, and recommendations. Hell yeah. Summer is the perfect time for festivals all over the UK. There are so many, and they run all the way through the summer. I think some start in May, and they're still going on in August. I love it. Some festivals, especially in the UK, I don't really know others abroad apart from Coachella,

but they could be like a week long. Some of them can be like three days and some of them can literally be a day, which I'm doing with Jungle. Yeah. Which personally for me, suits me because I hate camping. Yeah. I kind of despise it.

But before we go any further, Katie Leach, Katie bloody Peach Leach. Tell me. Katie Rebecca Bloody Peach Leach. Tell me. Katie Rebecca Mary Peach. Yes. Would you, one, like to go to a festival? And if so, what festival? And two, have you been to a festival before?

And number three, does going to a festival entice you in any way? So, it's interesting. Yes, tell me. Because I've been to one festival in my life. I went to Community, which was a day festival in Finsbury Park. Oh, you did? Where I saw the Wombats perform. The Wombats, great band.

Wow. I really enjoyed it. I was underage at the time and they would not service any drink. I think we might have snuck some alcohol in, but it went very quickly. Did they ask for an ID? No. But they just weren for an ID? No. But they just weren't selling drinks? No, they were, they turned, like, we look too young.

Oh, I see. They were just like, no. Oh, I see. Oh, so I see what you mean. It was really, really fun. In terms of a camping festival, there was a girl in my year who, her parents worked in the music industry,

so we'd always get free tickets to festivals. Nice. And both times she took a group of friends, I was not invited, to Latitude and Reading. Oh, big festivals. And I really wanted to go to Reading. I remember, I think it was when Billie Eilish was just starting,

she headlined Reading. Oh, wow. A few friends of mine went, but I feel like I'm now too old for Reading. I don't think I can do it now reading seems quite like 18 yeah and wireless used to be a really big thing but now it's yeah gone into more of like the grime it's yeah yeah like drum and bass rather than like it used to be like drake cardi b yeah it does dave all the who else went someone else went and it were jay-z oh wow great lineup yeah and i think their day festivals because it's in finsbury park oh that's cool but what about you have you been so i've been to i've been to a few festivals obviously like day

festivals so the one i'm i've gone to i also went to this is more like a concert but it was they did call it a festival Rex Rex did his like thing but it was a day festival in the sense it was only a day all that kind of stuff which is really nice

I've also been to Wilderness now Wilderness was a great experience because I went with this girl that I was friends with at school and her parents were so into it so we were in teepees oh

there was no shitty camping around because for me personally what I can't get over is the accommodation. I'm like, if I'm in a tent, if I'm sweating, if I wake up and my breath is stuck to the ceiling and I'm like... The toilet, oh my God, it takes me on to my another thing. Obviously, girlies, I told you about my story last year when i went to forbidden forest i've never experienced anything quite like it like the toilets i literally i could

smell it everywhere even when i left i could still smell it like you you got to a certain point do you remember that yeah yeah it was like that it was like i got to a certain point that was what 250 yards when i was like i can smell this disgusting this is disgusting and then i went to boardmasters but i was quite young so i thought i was quite cool like oh this is i've always wanted to go to boardmasters yeah i had a really good time because i was like oh this is really cool but i look back and think oh my god the campaign it katie is what i can't get over see yeah if i could pick two that i could go to but i've got my requirements okay so let's call me again my my stage name is kitty we don't need the last name because it's just a full stop like beyonce yeah i get big okay yeah i'm in the

industry if it's like whoa what a legend i'm like right i would like two tickets to two places okay yeah first one coachella it's got to be coachella yep yeah second one glastonbury but let me tell you my ifs and buts i would like an rv or i would like a caravan because you can't i don't think you can camp at Coachella. I think you have to... I might be pulling that out my arse, but I do believe you can't camp. I thought because... Or maybe it's just because all I see on the internet is like influence.

Like they get houses. Oh! See, that's a bit of me. They get them accommodation in Palm Springs and then they get chauffeured across the festival every day. Yeah, that's much me. See, I would love that. Wouldn't that be delightful?

I would enjoy the full festival. It's just knowing I have to wake up in a tent and go to sleep in a tent. And it's not like you can lock a tent properly. No, you can't really. And then like,

you can hear people shouting. You feel unsafe. Not a vibe. The only thing about camping that I don't know if anyone else can relate to, I never wake up warm. I always wake up fucking freezing. Really? No matter bed freezing uh I'm like I'm gonna be hyper I'm gonna

literally my fingers are gonna fall off because they always say so I read which I tried before oh you told me this when you sleep and you sleep naked in the sleeping bag because it's designed to keep you warm. Tried it always. Because I wake up freezing every single time. Oh, I hate that. Fucking freezing. No, that's awful. Like, no matter how many layers, socks, nothing, I will wake up...

Teeth chattering. It's not a vibe, is it? No. If I could have my own accommodation, I would love it. I do. Where would you want to go? I think I would do Boardmasters. Yeah.

It's picturesque, isn't it? Yeah, it's picturesque. I would love to do Coachella. I would love that. That would be sensational. I'd get all my outfit sorted, all my hair done. There is something quite nice about, like, I don't hate camping. Really?

I do camp. Well, I used to camp quite a lot growing up. Really? Well, go guide. Of course. Go guide. I'm the one with the wilderness. Yeah.

I love the squirrels. I love the squirrels and they love me. They love you. You sing to them. I do. I do. Like fucking Giselle. I think there's something so nice about coming back from a camping trip

and you're like have the shower get cozy that's a moment and a half well we know what I was like last year I did a day less than 24 hours at Forbidden Forest and I went to the spa I was like this is that that is still so fucking funny to me oh my god this is so difficult right so it's about how we feel to do with festivals. Yeah, so we asked the Debrief listeners if they'd like to go to festivals and whether or not the idea entices them. So what percentage do you think said, hell yeah, why wouldn't I?

Or, God, no, camping is not my vibe. I reckon we've got a lot of listeners. A lot of listeners. Because we're great. I reckon we've got a lot of young listeners yeah and young people love a festival i reckon we might have some i'm going to say not high maintenance bougie listeners like myself absolutely who's like not for me but i think it's high i'm going to say 90 i know that's high okay yes and 10 said no no so 75% said yes oh 25% said no there's hope

it's interesting because I could I back that because I could go my whole life never going to another festival again yeah I could oh my god I went to that festival in Portugal oh my god yeah you did that was weird though it good? Well, it was all Portuguese. Like, they were all singing. Oh, but the song's good. Like, could you bop along? Oh, I was bopping along. There was something nice about the communal aspect of it.

Okay. But I couldn't genuinely... Was it big liners? Like, big... Couldn't tell you, but the music was jolly. Was it? Did they do any singing of, like, Justin Bieber, but in a different language?

No, no. Oh, what a shame. It was all the artists, but, like, the Portuguese, like a different language? No, no. Oh, what a shame. It was all the artists, but like the Portuguese, like they loved whoever was up there. Oh, were they? Yeah, they knew all the words. Oh, okay. I was just there for a good time,

not a long time. You could have been, you could have seen like fame right now. I could have seen the Portuguese equivalent of Justin Bieber and not known her. I had no idea. Literally. But I could,

like having that, I could genuinely never go to a festival again i wouldn't i wouldn't miss out on it like i wouldn't be like i've gotta go no whereas you know what versus a holiday which i'm not being funny the cost of a ticket yes you can go on a nice olibobs you can so i and it's not even the cost of a ticket it's the cost of then getting a train or if you're doing petrol getting a tent getting the food getting the water getting the alcohol getting the outfit because also once you're in there it's not expensive it's yeah exactly the food's expensive because you literally can't go anywhere else i think you can easily go to a festival and spend a grand i mean what tickets are out three four hundred yeah you know it's

like 400 quid oh god that's awful that is so bad it is think it's like £400. Oh, God, that's awful. That is so bad. It is, yeah. It's spenny. You know, like, that's a lot of money. And for me personally, I think I'd prefer to do a Holly Bob's. Yeah. But I know some diehards. Like, I know Arch wants to go to Glastonbury so bad.

I'm like, if you can set me up with a nice little cabin. I would go to Glastonbury. That's the only place that I think I could get on with that. If they were like... If Elton John pops up I'd be yeah I mean did you see this year

Coldplay I cried it looked so good I thought it was so good if they were like you can have one free actually if it was one free ticket I'd say Coachella

yeah me too me too I think it was more fun yeah yeah exactly but Glastonbury is more like British yeah and it's more music

that's the vibe I get yes I feel like Coachella's more the outfits and like mingling and the influences and all that kind of stuff. Okay, so we're going to tell you some festival stories from this year. So obviously we've got Wireless,

Broadmasters, Glastonbury, Isle of Wight, etc. So there are so many festivals happening every year all around the country. In total, there are a thousand different festivals in the UK that happen annually. I'm like, I literally think there are like 10. I know, right? I'm like, love to chew Glastonbury.

I know, right? So we've got some stories for you that the listeners have written in. So someone said to me, I mean, this is brilliant. Don't make the mistake I did. Worst moment ever. Oh my God.

don't make the mistake I did. Worst moment ever. I paid 350 to a family friend in Bunny for a very last minute Leeds Fest ticket in a moment of FOMO desperation. That's what you've got, Kate. You've got FOMO desperation. I do have FOMO desperation. You got the touch of the F day.

FOMO desperation. So she goes, I turned up on my own I do have FOMO desperation. You got the touch of the F day. FOMO desperation. Yes. So she goes, I turned up on my own, hoping to join my then boyfriend and all my friends on the other side, only to be told it was a fake ticket. I watched them all head in while I had to stop at the barriers.

I sobbed all the way home on the bus and could hear the music from the back garden over the rest of the very lonely weekend. Poor me. That's sad. That's really... I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is so sad.

You got scammered. You got scammered. You got scammered. But also, that bastard sat in their living room at 3.50. Then what have we been thinking? There's... Oh, no, it's a fake ticket. He's like, dickhead.

They don't do that, though, but it's smart. It's so... Some criminals have got a mind, I tell you. Literally. They go ahead of the time with faking these festival tickets. I'm like, that is... Yeah, that is wild. I also didn't know Leeds was that expensive.

3.50? It's the same line-up as Reading. Oh, is it? Yeah, so Reading and Leeds are the same event. Why do they... as reading oh is it yeah so reading and leads are the same event why do they oh i didn't know what should they do reading weekend and then the following weekend they take it up to leads oh but it's all the same exact same oh so it's just different location sometimes it's a bit different i think it's the order in which they go on is slightly different like the headliners or maybe it's like the headliners on saturday in reading then go and do leads on sunday oh okay something like that but

it's the same like event oh okay i didn't know that so that's probably why i'm yeah but leads i'm 350 yeah i'm like i'm not being funny that is a lot of money scary do you know what i mean i'm like you must be raking it in. Oh. These festivals. There are thousands of people come. Look, I might be pulling this

out of my arse, but I think I read some of that. It was 250,000 people at Glastonbury this year. Yeah, no, probably.

And I'm like, the money and that, whoa. The only thing that makes me scared about Glastonbury is the fucking thought of the traffic leaving. You'd be there for hours.

You'd be going, time to leave? I would leave like the night Coldplay would have played. I would have left before their encore and I would have been in my fucking car. You would have been hearing it as you drive off. I'm like, it was all yellow. I'm like, I'm going home. Adam, thank you very much.

I have one. Yeah, tell me. So this is the one thing I think that festivals get the rep for. And unfortunately, I'm feeding into it that they are gebbers. Don't. I once woke up at a festival to find that someone had shit in my tent. Excuse me? So it seems that it was in, you know, when you go into the...

The little waiting area where you take your shoes off where you take your shoes the little front porch yeah lovely they're really hard because i think you can lock you can put locks on your zips but people are assholes but people are assholes so it's like and people are drunk assholes as well like how many red tents do you think are at reading oh my god can you imagine you'd never get home lost you would never get home you'd be no am i honestly it would be terrifying that is disgusting shit in my tent on the same kind of vibe oh gosh festivals are not glamorous in the slightest despite the insta photos i went to latitude years ago and a guy unzipped the door of my tent at 3am and peed in the corner. It lasted minutes.

But I didn't want to interrupt him in case he got startled and caused an even bigger mess. Oh, that's kind. So I just lay there in my sleeping bag watching this man wee on my coat. On your coat? Do you know what? I'd be so upset. Oh, I'd be livid. And also, I'd wake up and I'd be like, I'm off.

Me and my little... Tatty buys. Ta-ra! I'd be like, me and my bloody wee coat. No. I'm off, okay? Gotta go. Got to go.

I have one. I woke up to find two random strangers having sex in my tent next to me piss off i would be so scared imagine they think that it's their tent the tent's not locked they're like oh here we are like let's get down to it imagine being peacefully asleep, waking up. Just hearing, on the air mattress. Oh, no, no, no. And also, if they're drunk, they might just fall asleep and you're like, get out!

You think it's poor fucking Amanda who you're sharing your tent with? It's not Amanda. Poor Amanda. Sarah. Do you know what, about Glassmere, oh, not Glassmere,

the festivals in general, it is so scary that all these tents and people then get lost. Because people, I think, I think it can be quite scary that there can be some horrible people. But also you could literally just think this is my tent. Yeah, truly. And then what?

And then you're like, oh. Then you're lost. Then you get lost. At night. Anyone goes to festival on their own. People do, yeah. It's like people into like rave culture. I follow a girl on tiktok actually who goes

to loads of raves festival raves by herself i could never she went to one in portugal i could never and slept like by herself in her tent i was like that's crazy that's scary that's also unsafe i'd be scared i'd be so scared i'd be scared someone goes I love festivals and I'm a sucker for chaos. Right? Right? Right? We'll get you on the podcast, okay?

I'm a sucker for chaos. Tattoo it on me. If we could have a sentence of the pod like, you know, Made in Chelsea do. Yeah. I'm a sucker for chaos would be great.

Put it on me. One time when I was at Glastonbury, it had chucked it down for pretty much the entire weekend by a shirt. Me and a couple of friends were crowding around an impromptu

campfire to try and get warm. We were huddled up so close that it took us a couple of seconds to realise that my friend's baggy jeans had caught fire. Cue lots of random people urgently stamping on his foot while I pushed him into one of the puddles because it was so rainy.

I knew I shouldn't, but every time I think of this, I laugh so hard. My friend was shitting himself and burnt his eyebrows off. Eyebrows off, baggy trousers, singed. He's in. He's in. Oh, did him. See, do you know that pushed me over the edge? I finally get to Glastonbury and I'm like, right, come on then. And it starts chucking it down. Starts chucking it down. I find a campfire. I'm like, God, then and it starts chucking it down starts chucking it down I find a campfire I'm like god got me back universe set me on fire jeans go

I'm like these are my favourite jeans and then someone pushes me in in the bloody pond and as I look at myself in the reflection of the pond I've got no brows

no brows I've had enough of this no brows I've had enough no more no more thank you very much let me go home

I've got one this is my favourite one I once did so much acid at a festival that i went temporarily deaf like that's scary like that's that's frightening because like that's really how is sorry i'm so i'm so bad how's acid taken is it a pill it's like on your like tabs on your like tongue so you just put like a tab but what do you mean tab like a it's like it looks like almost like a piece of paper oh and you just yeah and it dissolves yeah and temporary death imagine at a festival it or you you're hearing the music and then you're not.

And then you're panicking. And then you're also fucking high as. And everyone's screaming like, look at the stars. And you're like, I can't imagine. These shit. Festivals are so loud.

Imagine losing your hearing whilst the music's happening. You're in a fucking movie. Yeah, that'd really scare me. And you'd also think it's gone for life. yes because if you're like if it's this loud i'm not gonna be hearing any whispering pillow talk well no no no that's it it's over the booming speakers like oh my god that's scary guys yeah festivals as well it's dangerous the friend i went with she's a police officer oh my god and like the amount of drugs you just saw with like it was like oh there was no shame people get drugs out very comfortably at festivals like setting up camp but she went for a week so i was just on my

own getting a few things done and this guy just came up to me we literally could have been there five minutes and he says right opens this jacket and he's got 20 different things of different pills or sniffies or injections oh my god and he was all labeled like he i mean i thought you know what the dedication to your job sir you're on me i thought i was good yeah he's like look i'll give you my number if you need it i was like oh no i'm fine i was like i'm so scared oh my god that's scary and you know what It was the amount of injections you saw on the floor when you were like walking to places. I was like, who's taking this thing?

Right? It's bad. Right? Yeah. Okay, shall we crack on? Let's crack on to debrief dilemmas. Oh, I love this. Now we will read some dilemmas that have been sent in to us

about festivals from our listeners. So, have you read this yet? Because it's brilliant. I actually haven't. I'm going in blind. Oh my God, you'll love this. Now we will read some dilemmas that have been sent in to us about festivals from our listeners. So, have you read this yet? Because it's brilliant. I actually haven't. I'm going in blind. Oh my God, you'll love it. Okay. So, hey girls, I really hope you get my DM

because I need some advice to debrief as I found myself in a bit of a situation. Yeah. I'm going to Green Man Festival in August. Well, that's what my friends think I'm doing. Oh, deceit. A few months back, my friendship group of six said that we should go to green man festival this year at the time i said 100 yes i'll go that will be so much fun we made a group chat and one of the girls sent a link anyway i went to go book

and i was shocked about the price of tickets i was brought up in greece and the greek culture with socializing is very cheap and I expected festival prices to be the same as it was there. Maximum £35 was my expectation. Okay. Clearly I was out of my depth with knowing British pricing with festivals and soon understood that it was quite normal with festival prices.

Yeah. Anyway, I told the girls that I had bought my ticket when I hadn't and I kept to myself that I'll save up for a few months then buy my ticket. Anyway, three months ago, I went to go buy my ticket as I had now found I was in a position that I could and all the tickets were gone. Oh no.

Sold out completely. I've contacted everyone I can, mutuals and people working there and they've all told me the same thing and that it's sold out. Oh my God, I don't know what to do. I booked my train tickets, organized who I'm sharing a tent with, and most of all, been getting excited with the girls.

What the fuck do I do? Do I tell them I never even bought a ticket? They're going to think I'm a massive liar. Please help. Thanks, girls. Right. That's sticky. Do you know what I...

No, because I need to stop saying just lie. Like, that's bad advice that's bad advice that's digging you a further hole i'm like just fake an emergency or something say you're ill say you can't go yeah don't don't don't come clean but that do you know when i was reading this at the start i thought the same i was like just lie but then i was like what if they're like oh well can suzy have your ticket and she'll transfer you and you're like this exact thing happened to me really written not with a festival go on so a friend of ours had oh go on friend of ours had a birthday thing yeah and i my god do i know this i'm not sure maybe you do and i decided i said i

was going yeah i knew i wasn't you never went yeah you were never you guys you guys weren't oh you would never go i i would i wasn't gonna be there i was never there but i kept if you've capped out mentally you're never going i literally agreed to it knowing i was never gonna show face absolutely saying i was gonna i wasn't feeling well and you know the best thing is you hype up more to them like oh and bless her she was so excited yeah i get you so i'm literally in the best thing is you hype it up more so that you're like, oh, bless her, she was so excited. Yeah. I get you.

So I'm literally in the chat like counting down the days, cannot wait, so excited. No, for well, I've got a date with McDonald's in my bed. Like, I'm not going. And then day off happens. I'm like, so sorry, really not feeling well. Can't come. Was it like a festival or was it like

it was like no it was like a festival it was like last summer oh so you had to choose it you had to get a ticket for it i had to get a ticket but you never got the ticket but i never got the ticket because i was like oh do you know what you know when it's like not enough people i know are going yeah so i felt like look i'm on the outskirts anyway i'm not gonna be no one's gonna be devastated if i can't make it yeah yeah yeah It's not like you're letting people down. Yeah, so I messaged the day of being like, I'm so sick.

I feel so horrendous. I'm so sorry. Can't make it. Great. Knowing full well I had no ticket in hand. No. I then get a message.

Oh, brilliant. Because a friend of mine just dropped out. Would you mind sending him your ticket details? And I was like, you're fucking crazy. i had to buy a ticket i bought a ticket but did he transfer it to you no transfer he didn't transfer you the money in

fairness in fairness i then the guilt set and i was like he's like oh how much how it was like 25 quid but i was like oh look you know it's on i feel so bad that i can't come anyway like i feel so unwell like please just let him have it as a goodwill gesture for me like karma that was karma i got i got fucking out a bit your ass no it truly like took a whole fucking chunk yeah stupid so i completely understand that there's a risk in this this is what i'm stressing about she's gonna be like oh girls i don't feel i'm well then they're gonna be oh well can suzy have it and she's like well no and then they'll think well she was a bitter bitch i don't i casey i actually don't know what to advise i'm like this is really hard because what i would have advised is i would have been like use all your contacts try get a ticket but she's like i have so and i don't know like do you be honest

you say i never actually bought the ticket when you've been sat around with the girls i can't wait the only thing i could possibly think of is actually that's too much effort gone is oh no doctoring an email from the festival cancelling your ticket. But I don't know how you'd go about doing that. And how would they cancel? Because they could maybe message and be like, there was an error with your booking. We've had to cancel your ticket.

Or maybe she's got a new bank card. Look, the lines are going. And the last bank card didn't go through. And it didn't go through. Or what you could do. What you could do. There's been an error with your booking. If you're smart about it using canva no literally someone's on photoshop like what you could do is full puss go and get turned away and say with them saying it's a fake ticket oh you could go with a ticket be the last one to enter and when they get it to you be like listen

guys i don't have a ticket just turn me away nicely all right yeah and then let them turn you away and be like guys it was a fake that's actually probably the best one that we i knew we'd get there in the end but the problem is i think she actually wants to go i think she wants to go i just don't see a world in which you're going to be able to, my love. Unless sometimes festivals and concerts have people selling tickets outside. Same with like Wimbledon, the tennis, you know, sports games. Like when nearby, you have punters selling tickets. Because I'm thinking maybe the error email is better

and then she can really yeah she could send the error email to the group chat and then all the girls can be on it they can each individually put on their story if anyone's got a ticket if anyone's got a ticket is there also like is it one of those like reading and leads where you could say you've accidentally booked for leads being like green man is there like another weekend that you could have potentially booked and been like oh my god guys have just realized i booked the wrong weekend but then they could be like but get it refunded and you can or like well surely you can swap it katie i don't know how to i don't actually know how to come out this but not lying because what do you say what do you let's actually let's look through the most honorable options the truth yeah

let's walk through what would happen if she told the truth so if i'm like okay if we role play this yeah if i'm if i'm the person who's written it and yeah and you be the girl i'm the friends i'm like oh my god suzanna i'm so excited for the weekend oh i've got my outfit like it'll be so good i've even got these little fairy lights for our tent. Oh, okay. So, I've got to be honest. Oh. I actually, at the time we were all booking tickets,

I was really skint. So, I said I'd booked it and hadn't. And now it's completely sold out. And I've been trying to get tickets since. But I just haven't been able to. And I feel really bad. Oh, my heart's broken actually I feel like that's fine maybe you shouldn't lie

no actually I think that's fine do you know what just be honest and actually how did it take us off okay okay go to the gate fake the ticket then whenever we get through I never got an email

I'm like I think the email's better tell the truth go to the gate, fake the ticket. Then whenever we get through, talk through an email. I never got an email. I never got it. Just then I'm like, I think the email's better. Tell the truth. I think, do you know what? When Kate said that, initially I was pissed off

when she was like, I never bought a ticket. I was like, what the fuck? So you're going to leave me in a tent on my own? And then when she said, but,

but you know, I couldn't afford it at the time and there was, any good friend would, any good friend would understand that. Yeah. I think you're right. I think tell her the truth.

Tell the truth. We got there in the end. And I'm learning from you every day. Yeah, exactly. We're 22 and 23 and we're still learning how to be honest, eh? Okay. All right. So, yeah, do that.

And if they're good friends, then they'll be like, absolutely, darling. Yes. Let's see what we can do. Yeah. Okay. So I've got one this week. I've got one.

Should I ping pong you? Ping pong me. Okay. So my first dig is obviously to do with festivals. And it's, I know I'm going to sound like such a Karen right now. Some of the outfits, I can't. When I went to this Forbidden Forest, this one girl, I shit you not, was wearing a crotchless bikini.

Flaps out. And nips. No way. I've never seen anything quite like it. In a way, I was quite enticed. Like, could you tell me where you got those from yeah i like it she had this bra on but it was like it was a bra well she it was not a like a bikini a bikini it was a bra lingerie but there was a little bit like a flap where the nipple is and she just tucked the flap and her nipples were out like a peephole a peephole. A peephole.

Hilarious. Then she had this thong on but it was crotchless. So then her little flaps were hanging out. And I'm thinking, look, I'm all about women empowerment. Free the puss. I'm all about, but I just thought,

no one told me I could free my puss. Okay? If you'd known. If I'd known, I would have gone all day. If you'd known. It's not possible. Yeah.

And not me. Interesting. Yeah, interesting. day. If you'd known. It's not possible. And not me. Interesting. Yeah, interesting. Ooh. I know. Okay. Mine is maybe a bit picky. Oh, tell me.

When people bring in, well, no, when people buy specific things to smuggle your alcohol in with. Oh! Buying is. I'm talking about like, when people, you can,

because these items exist like hair brushes umbrellas tampons yeah that you can buy off amazon to smuggle your alcohol in why are you buying it it's embarrassing why are you buying it it's really and like i don't know why all these and he gets his umbrella out he's like i bought this rubber ducky that you can actually if you unscrew it here you can fit fucking gin in it, right? Okay. That's weird. That's fine. Literally.

I completely get what you mean. I'm like, do the water bottle thing. Right? I know. Just back to the good old days. Go back to the water bottle thing. Yeah. Yeah. So funny.

Okay, should we go on to questions? So I am serious this week. Silly. Now, my serious one, although we've talked about it, So I am serious this week. Silly! Now, my serious one, although we've talked about it, kind of covered it before, I want to know. When you go to a festival, let's talk about Glastonbury. Yeah. Okay?

You could be seeing Elton John, Dua Lipa, Coldplay, Miley Cyrus, Jay-Z. You could be seeing all these people within the same event. Considering that, jay-z you could be seeing all these people within the same event considering that do you think that festivals are worth the money that they are charging i do if yeah what i don't agree with is the prices of the luxury accommodation. Yeah. I don't like the prices of the add-ons. I think the ticket itself for the artists that you're seeing, I think is very good. Yeah.

Yeah. If you're camping. But say it's like 300, 350 odd quid, 400 quid for Glastonbury. Yeah. The price of like having the VIP showers is like an extra 200 quid i'm like oh to have a shower like yeah to what let me cut a queue for a shower yeah there are some some i think they take the piss because they know people are desperate yeah yeah the same with like tps and stuff and especially at glastonbury but sometimes they're like upwards of like two grand and i know they and that's like i know you're

seeing the artists and maybe it's sleeping like three people but that's still a lot that's a lot of money like you could go to disneyland you could that is a lot of money and i like disneyland more in the field you know yeah so do i but yeah what do you think i think similar to you i do because it's not like it's an evening one dinner party and that's it it is you're seeing loads of different artists so it is really experience yeah it and that's what festivals are it's a full experience yeah and seeing loads of different musical artists seeing some of your inspirations also seeing some glass and re's almost like a privilege like yeah everyone can say i'm gonna go to a glass room next year it's like honey you might not get a ticket yeah you know so i think because then they have to limit

the tickets i'm like well yeah because it's like going to a concert also the safety of the artists yeah 100 and for the artists to come there as well like it's not just about us having a good time they need to look after them and they need to make money from it as well not just the festival yeah yeah for the artists i do think it's all right i think thinking 350 you're like what but then you're like but if you went to go see elton john in concert it'll probably be that it could be 350 because what the ticket would probably be like 100 odd quid and then if you're traveling there you've got accommodation dinner transport i also think the good thing about it is that like with 350 if you're there early enough you could be right at the front yeah it's not like in a concert well or you know in a stadium where it's like well you've paid a grand so you can be at the front

yes so it's free for all we're all in now you know exactly okay what's your silly question my silly question is yes would you rather all go to a festival with all of your exes performing and they would be performing pieces about you and your relationship? I'd love that. You'd have a headliner, you'd have an ex that headlines. But it could be... Are they good? Oh, but it could be music, it could be dance, it could be spoken word, it could be it are they good oh but it would be it couldn't it could be music it could be dance

it could be spoken word it could be slam poetry does everyone know it's about me yeah because like you'll be there and they're like this is dedicated to kitty mcnair and then a big photo of me will pop up they'll probably get the camera on you from the big screen probably or yeah attend a festival with all of your enemies. But you have to share a huge tent together and you have to do everything together with a tent of people you can't stand. I can't even camp. And if I have to camp with people

who aren't even looking after me, they could be weeing in my shoes. That's true. Yeah, they probably would. They could be pissing in my shampoo bottle. Yeah. They'd be shitting on my slippers. Probably crocs.

Absolutely. Toxic trait. Love to know what they'd say. Get my edges up there. What are you going to do? What are you going to say? Do an interpretive dance about Kitty Minnelli. I'd love it.

Oh, you'd want that footage. I would love it. Yeah. Singing, interpretive dance, bit of acting. One of them gets up, does a monologue. Fantastic. Yeah, I've written a song about Kitty McNamara.

Oh my God, I'd love her. I would love her. I think it'd be fantastic. But what if it was really mean? Yeah, see, I didn't think about that. Yeah. And there's one that could go main.

Because it wouldn't all be like, she was the love of my life, she got away. Fucking bitch. She's such a whore. Actually, I didn't think of that. Okay, well, if it is that, I'm just going to have to... Take it on the chin.

I'm going to take it on the chin, you know. Because they probably have merch. Yeah, they would probably have merch. Probably have kitty merch. Hashtag fucking whore. And I'm like, fuck kitty. Load of shit. I'm like...

Yeah, so I think I'm going to have to take that. How about you? I think I would do the headline. I'd just love to know what they have to say i'd probably cry but like i'd love to know what you had to say so imagine if i wanted like your exes came up and did this like really heartfelt like ballad yeah like my heart belonged to you and i'm like those were the best days of my life when you came into my life it was all a bit brighter and i'm like those were the best days of my life when you came into my life it was all a bit brighter and i'm like it's a bit heavy fuck but then do you know what i would be like but then i'd be looking around like it's me talking about me just proves i'm such a good

girlfriend attention seeker i'd love that i everyone would be like who's this girl in sulcan for my birthday and everyone wore a t-shirt with my face on I loved that no and someone said to me would you not be embarrassed I was like

why embarrassed what hardly why look at this face embarrassed get a smoke

eh having a great day should have worn matching trousers yeah a dust bag yeah a wrap because of my arse a dust bag

right guys we've come to the end of the episode I know I'm sorry we've had a good one though so if anyone's got any festivals coming up

enjoy enjoy stay safe whatever her name was we won't say but tell us how it goes with the green yes be honest

be honest please do not listen to us be honest you'll be fine alright guys have a good Monday love you bye Don't listen to us at 20 minutes of all. Be honest. You'll be fine. All right, guys. Have a good Monday. Love you.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.