The Debrief - First Times & Cheating Crimes

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

Happy Monday Debriefers! In this episode we dive DEEP into 'FIRST TIMES' and a juicy dilemma makes us debate what counts as cheating?!Email your debriefs and dilemmas to: [e-mail] hope you have a fabulous week,Lots of love,Kitty & Katie x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 I've got a rebel soul. Yeah, I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. 🎵 Hello! Good morning everyone! Good morning! It's Monday. Open those eyes. Welcome back to The Debrief. The Debr debrief. The debrief. We've missed you. We have. We certainly have missed you. We've missed you. I've been crying. Yeah.

Yeah. Actually, not crying this time, guys. No. No tears. Yes, yes, yes. No tears. We've broken the curse. Last time you heard us, guys, you know, Katie just stopped crying.

I was crying a few days before in the studio, but the years four walls now are only radiating happiness. Oh, no. They're pissing out sunshine for us. they absolutely are i'm feeling it oh my gosh the the positivity is kissing us on the head oh give me a little cuddle yeah yes everyone how's your monday going so far have you just woken up have you just rolled out of bed has it been all right have you girl mathed and not got a coffee which means you're saving money or have you just not spent money yesterday which means you can double your budget truly truly get two fucking coffees truly and now i've got a little hot chucky from starbucks with me actually i'm really really jealous because i came straight from uni and i've been saving this

coke zero all day but i could really really stomach a hot choccy no oh livid warm livid i am yeah especially do you get whipped cream of course i did if you're gonna get a hot choccy don't get virgin hot choccy get fucking full out hot choccy hot choccy now katie you know what it is you know what time it is i know what time it is give it to me metro my mantra is my life is wonderful because of the people in it oh i love that why did you need that this week i think i just a lot of people around me have done a lot of lifting me up this week which has been really really nice and i feel like i just needed to remind myself that there are people that love and value me so much and that is and my perspective and my positivity comes from them oh that's lovely which is lovely sometimes you can really lose all perspectives of all

perspective of the good things that are happening yeah because you're so encompassed with everything that's on your plate at the moment yeah and then when you do have people checking in or giving you a hug or saying that you're doing great. Yeah. You know, you're doing great, sweetie. Like, it gives you that bounce of, okay, I have people that support me and believe in me. 100%. Mine is, bumps in the road are the stepping stones to my success. Oh, lovely.

So at the moment, I am feeling a little stressed yeah i hate the feeling of stress i don't know how you manage stress but i hate the feeling of stress horrible so the obstacles are representation of the stepping stones to my success beautiful song what's your song my song sing it funnily enough we were singing it earlier ooh you're the coffee that I need in the morning you're my

sunshine in the rain when it's pouring best part by Daniel Caesar love it love it

love it her h.e.r I love it I fucking love Daniel where have you been listening to

that song this week this is my eve song this is my shower song sometimes I have different vibes for the shower I've got like my musical theater like been listening to that song this week this is my even eve song this is my shower song sometimes i have different vibes for the show i've got like my musical theater like sing-along songs i've got

my jazzy like ella fitzgerald like like when i laugh at myself or i've got my daniel caesar her playlist that's like i love it I love that that's great okay mine is the dog days are over Florence in the Machine I love this song I love this song I had my headphones in today put the dog days are over and i was like these obstacles are the dog days that song's got crack cocaine in it i tell you now like it is genuinely like it's the run of ass and you just genuinely are like yeah i'm the best fucking bitch around honestly it is such an uplifting song that's a great song this week is thank you that's a really great song thank you i think i smashed it my record record

recommendation i went to a boozy brunch this weekend which was absolutely balding lovely if i don't say so um it was called canova hall in brixton lovely i tell you what boozy brunches could be the death of me genuinely the death of me day drinking is just dangerous in general so many bottles of prosecco and i'm not really a prosecco drinker but i thought fuck it like i'm gonna go for it yeah all this prosecco then you have the different little syrups you put in to make it like a different cocktail oh my god i had a lavender one i had a strawberry one i had a cherry one oh my god yeah you have to go to Canova Hall in Brixton. It's really good vibe.

Really nice lighting. I wouldn't go there on a date. I think it's too... Busy. Too busy for a date. And there's quite a lot of music, so it can be a little loud. Double dating. You guys know each other for quite a while. That's lovely.

Big friendship group. Great. Girly time out. Love it. Or even just for some drinks. Like, it would be really nice. Yes. Let's tea brief.

Okay, Katie. So, tell me about your week. What's been going on? Oh, my God. Catch me up. I've had a bit of a busy week. Okay. I'm a clumsy person.

Yes. Right? Yes. I'm a clumsy person yes right yes i'm a clumsy clumsy girl okay i actually put lots of things in place to avoid said clumsiness love it i try not to and most of my clumsiness is forgetfulness and stuff like that okay but recently this week i don't know why there's been something in the air and i've just been injuring myself left right and center oh no tripping over falling like tripping over stuff that isn't there oh god my favorite this week was i concussed myself i concussed myself but the worst thing is the cause i'm on is quite physical okay we were throwing ourselves on the floor yeah tripped rolled anyway bruised my hips my hips are still bruised but they were like black and blue owie oh owie owie owie owie oh that's horrible in between the classes i decide to go to the loo still breathing from this hip

pain my hips are like ringing i'm like oh god yeah sometimes you can feel the heartbeat where the pain is it's yeah little party yeah i then go for a wee and i open the door and someone's like waiting to go in and they start to come forward but i thought i forgot something so i turn back around oh god whip the door into the side of my head literally bang oh my god to the point where i'm like oh oh god like did anyone say and i was like oh did your eyes water yeah i was literally like oh fuck me and then the girl who was waiting to go to the toilet then it's almost worse because then she was like oh my god are you okay are you all right and i'm like maybe no one look turn your face away turn your face away i'm like get a little mask i was like fuck

me and but in fairness at the time of the opera there literally i was like put a mask on me i don't want to be seen i was like i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i was like oh my god that's so embarrassing then literally literally had the biggest egg on the side when i tell you katie's like i've smashed my head and i I was just like, oh, okay. When I saw this fucking egg, Katie was honestly. It's my third eye. Katie was a unicorn for the day. I was a unicorn for the day.

It was ridiculous. So what the bloody hell's on your head, my love? My dad and Arch tried a period simulator. Oh my fucking God. So Archie went first. And it's like this little like pad that she's like kind of electricity yeah um i don't really know how to describe it but it's something like this and you put it on your belly and then there's like a plus sign to go up and a minus sign to go down yeah and they and we pressed it a few times to go up oh my god oh she was on level one fucking beads of sweat he was like

when i say when i say it's fucking level one as well it's like someone tickling your anus like really it's quite a nice sensation but it's not really necessary you know and then it goes to the second one and you can kind of start to feel it now and it's like, okay, third one, a third one I would say is like, because I tried it as well

to see what it was like. Third day I would say is the last day of your period. Okay. Okay? So not really that bad. Yeah.

Fourth day, fourth power. Yeah. Now you start to fucking feel it. Yeah. It almost has that sensation now when you go to the toilet and you feel blood coming out number four was like that okay then we go up to number five consistently stays that pain number six is like day one cramps bad cramps okay level

seven and it's like okay worst cramps you have yeah and it goes up to like 10 granted when i got up to like level eight nine i was like fuck me that is sore okay when i tell you archie is gripping the sides of a fucking wooden chair when it gets up to like level three and he's like he's like i can't take it can't take it can't take it and then get gets it on and anyway it gets up to like level four now come on this is like the end of the period yeah archie has to lie down he's like honestly i've got to lie down like i'm in the most he's like i'm in the most pain i've ever experienced my whole life with you yeah still got oh my god we should do that we should so fucking do it and i was just we were pissing ourselves like my parents might to be fair my dad held out longer

than arch yeah but i was genuinely like baffled this is fucking hilarious this is so funny he he honestly looked he went so pale he had to lie down he was like could you get me a glass of water i thought for fuck's sake i was like oh honestly okay guys we're gonna debrief on something today we're gonna debrief that's a bit sticky oh actually i shouldn't use sticky with what i'm about to discuss i'm quite nervous i'm honestly i'm sweating so we are talking about losing your virginity the v card the v card i lost my v card did you ever say that did you ever say i lost my v card no what is that um what is popping your cherry popping my cherry giving them your flower oh god no which one's your favorite out of that losing your v card losing the v card oh my god lost my v card i

remember in twilight they reference your virginity and he's like um talking to bella and she's like dad i'm still a virgin i didn't know what virgin was i was like is that a bad thing is that a good thing my favorite quote is from clueless you're a virgin who can't drive. Yeah. Cold. Cold. That's so cold. So we're going to talk about virginity. Now, before we crack into it, I'm going to talk you through stats, okay? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. The UK stats say that 82% of women had sex before they were 20 years old. 82?

82% of women had sex before they were 20 years old oh well no fair enough i don't know why i'm so surprised i was quite surprised 20 i would i would imagine 20 years old which which puts in my mind that a lot of them lost their v card at uni i would say like i would be less surprised if it was like 22 23 yeah and the average is age 17 so that's the average age that a girl uses loses their virginity fair now boys surprisingly is younger so you're kidding yeah yeah i know you're kidding yeah i thought it was going to be higher uk stats say that 72 percent of men before they were 20 and their average is 18 so they lose it after girls do well this is um all to do with an average oh my goodness and obviously it's very different for each person

but for me personally i was in an environment i went to boarding school as you know yeah i was in an environment where girls were sex mad boys were sex mad we had you know bedrooms on tap yeah so shagging was happening everywhere all the time yeah in the air like beneath the ground like everyone was shagging so for me virginity was not such a glass me flower you know yes it was like grab me whips you know yeah okay yeah it was it was very much a normalized thing yeah you know oh everyone's lost their virginity kind of thing um that's really crazy like i even remember my sister lost her virginity um before i did she's older than me and i found a condom and i cried i absolutely blew my eyes i, I can't believe you dirty woman having sex.

I was like, I was, that was before I went to this school as well. And I was so shocked at how normalized it was. Yes. It was, you know, such and such having sex. And in my mind, I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. I was like, oh my God, that's huge. And then the longer I was there, I found that everyone was shagging. Everyone.

I can imagine boarding school is quite incestuous. about yours were you in an environment with a lot of people shagging my school was a boarding school but the borders were kind of few and far between but I know it did get a bit incestuous at times um at my secondary school no I actually would say my secondary school in my sixth form there were couples there but it wasn't like everyone's shagging yeah that there were like solid couples in our year in secondary school yeah that did shag quite early on okay i would say um not that there's a right time to lose it i guess yeah but i feel like it but it was there was no like shagging externally yeah there was no there was no kind of like which i did kind of like i wish our school kind of slagged it up a bit yeah

i know it just wasn't um there just was not the guys for it in our secondary school yeah at all okay i think virginity is such a pressure like everything what anything that is the first time is really press and you want it to be fucking great of course you do but realistically it it's not going to be well you know 10 out of 10 i was really surprised at 17 years old that that was the average for for girls and boys was 18 because i thought a lot more would lose their virginity and clearly do if that was only 82 like clearly more do at uni or later down in life in the life in life yeah um but you know i've got friends who were in their late 20s and then they lost their virginity but then i equally have friends who were absolutely were quite young when they

lost their virginity yeah i think putting in age on virginity is so strange like what do you think about that it's i think it's really hard in the sense that it almost there's you're right in the sense there's a big pressure on it yeah and i feel like that pressure only gets greater with age yeah oh my gosh yeah so like it's like, because weirdly, I was 16 when I lost my virginity. Yeah. And even then, I remember everyone being like, you haven't yet. Oh my God. Like, oh, you're not shagging.

And I'm like, what? But even there were people at my secondary school before that who were and they were very comfortable. I feel like it's a really weird one because there are some people who aren't comfortable with it and that's and that's your vibe the right person will wait for you yeah completely i think there is such a huge amount of pressure on it um from for everyone you know from your everyone around you in education your friendship groups your social group everyone's going to be pressurizing um and i think the fact that there's like put an age on virginity is so interesting because it's interesting that the law says no now you feel ready now you can have sex now we say yes

because you know it might for some girls it takes until their late 20s or even older it is a big thing i feel like for girls as well as guys yeah but when it actually happens it does kind of landmark not to deep it but like a new phase of your life it completely does yeah a scale from one to ten okay yeah i'm not saying the actual act of sex i I'm asking about the feeling, like your emotion and feeling safe and that kind of environment. What was it? 10 was like rainbows and butterflies, one was like awful. Oh, I would say like a seven or an eight.

That's nice. Like I was, it was with someone who I cared about very deeply and i feel like at the time it was something that was quite anticipated as well yeah and it was something that we'd spoken about not to sound wank but i feel like you should if you're like yeah if it happens it happens to know that you're there first but i feel like it was it was one of those things and again it's no pressure either way but it was both of our first times yes so that makes it easier less pressure i feel like i'd feel even more pressure if they were one

yeah there's almost like a pro and a cons because if that pro is that like if if they're a virgin as well you're kind of doing it together you're learning about your bodies about each other's but then if they they have done it well, you're kind of doing it together. You're learning about your bodies, about each other's. But then if they have done it before, then they can kind of help you, you know? Yes. Yeah. I'll look after you.

You'll be fine. Yeah. But definitely felt like very safe, very like content, like as, as virginity experiences go, like it wasn't awful. Yeah.

Like it was, it was nice. Oh, that's so good. What was yours like? Oh, mine was really nice actually like genuinely really nice yeah um i was with someone who i trusted yeah and again someone who knew it was my virginity um different to you they'd already lost their

virginity oh interesting yeah yeah so but they fully understood that this was mine um and also guys and girls don't think that's something to be embarrassed about by telling someone no and this is my first time i'm a bit because i think the way it then went out he was so um observant and looked after me to make sure that i was okay that's and said if you know if there's a because girls are telling you it does hurt the first time it does hurt okay so you've got to be with someone that you trust because that person can kind of guide you or yeah you know or or as katie had yeah go through it all with you which is really really nice and it's really nice and it's nice in the sense that like you never forget your first no one forgets their first forget your you know you'll

be 60 70 80 years old and everyone remembers their first like and i assure you girlies that everyone's first is going to be a funny story oh truly you know even if you feel oh my gosh i'm in love with them that's the best thing yeah of course you are that's how everyone feels at the start or even if it's not if it's just you know i wanted to get it out of the way yeah the other thing i've got to say about virginity is it's not i i don't personally like this of you've got to be with someone that means the world to you no you don't no that's your virginity that's what you want to choose to do with it i have got to say you the only thing i must say is you have to be safe contraception your surroundings you need to be in a safe environment that you feel comfortable being so vulnerable with i'm

so vulnerable your tits are out vulnerable your ass is clapping on the sheets like you need to you need to feel safe you need to feel comfortable but if you're you write into the debrief and say girls to be honest i was 23 and i just wanted it out the way and i knew this guy and he knew me fine oh my god it does not have to need to be the love of your life but equally if it is the love of your life that's brilliant you people yeah do you know what i had so clearly come to mind just now go on is i'm a big fan of glee okay and they devoted this episode of glee to um the couples losing their virginities to each other oh nice and i remember i remember that one yeah they were doing like west side story and rachel berry wanted

to lose her virginity so she could be more authentic in her character basically she's trying to like rush it um and it was one of those things that she was like oh i just want to get it out the way yeah and finn's like but i love you and i want to be with you and stuff but she's like no no i just want it done and it's totally valid either way yeah it is totally valid as long as you're safe that however you choose to do it literally but i feel like they obviously in films as well it's so romanticized you know by the fireplace there are candles there are things like dawson's creek they're all young and doe-eyed and it's beautiful and they can see the moonlight moonlight shine through their ass and they just know each other and it's

just the most gorgeous thing that happens the one thing that i remember like i just didn't anticipate is like there's conversations like you have to be communicating there's there's ways it's not like the films i don't know why i expected it to be like the film you're not gonna whip your top top off your nipples are hard and and you start here at mozart like i'm telling you i'm telling you you've got to create the vibe yourself yeah you know uh you're not got a string quartet fucking in the closet like like you're serenading you honestly because i feel like people like especially films and tv shows paint sex out to be this grandeur thing that's like ah isn't this just delightful and

let's just bask in this but most of the time it's actually like you got the fucking slimy condom if you're if you're not on the pill or whatever you know and you stress it's very it's very like real and i just remember being really like i'm like why are there no birds trapping outside i'm like why is there no fireplace popping up outside my bed oh my gosh that's so funny i think that the biggest piece of advice i would give towards virginity whether you have already lost it it or you're going to lose it, take it bloody easy. I'll take it. When I'm saying there's no time to be the Matrix

for the first time, oh my God, don't be trying all the different positions, all right? That's scary. I didn't. No, I didn't. I did not. Oh my God, I did not.

I was in so much pain. I was like, I'm laying fully flat on my back. Oh my God. What I'm saying is, you know, I really hope that everyone's with a safe, feels safe with whoever they are with when they lose their virginity. However, because I can imagine

some people there's a tendency to impress. You want to impress them and do the best for them. Right, take it slow. You know, this is quite scary. there's a tendency to impress you want to impress them and do the work the best for them right take it slow you know this is this is quite scary so positions wise i would i would recommend for the first time missionary yeah spooning maybe for the first time that's pretty that could be pretty standard no don't do doggy you'll shit yourself you'll be so scared you'll be so scared you'll be looking your face against the wall and your breath on the wall no and you'll be shit you'll be so scared so following on on that yeah so weirdly it just reminded me there was a girl in my yeah

that her and her boyfriend at the time were like the last of our group to kind of like lose the v card i say so she was like ready and eager to get it out the way yeah but she said she said on on their first time she tried every single position possible and i was literally like everyone she was like everyone like and i'm like that isn't that terrifying and she was like no i loved her okay so i thought interesting but i thought but you know trial trial and error well i guess that's good then because she found what she liked yeah you know because it's so interesting when people then have sex for the first time and they say fuck me it's so underwhelming yes because you've built up everything in your mind but also maybe because you're not trying enough positions i feel

like that's because as well as the fact like everyone when we were talking in the last episode about roman empire like oh my god i would think about how i would lose my virginity so fucking often oh my gosh i also would be like how old am i gonna be yeah boy gonna be yeah like you know when you're young you're like it'll be my husband yeah yeah but it's just like one of those things that what like you build it up so much you paint a picture of how it's going to be and like not to burst your bubble like great if it happens for you but it usually isn't that close to what you would imagine it to be but in a nice way as well yeah but how but like from that how lucky are we now that the first person we shag doesn't have to be off forever but even you know we speak about virginities but in general sex itself is a vulnerable thing oh my god it's so vulnerable

you're literally like voldemort in the train station like naked wrapped up in sheets like like i find it's one of those things that is just so like i'm sorry i just lost it there it's just one of these things that's so like oh my god like and i feel like that feeling of vulnerability not being scared of vulnerability but that kind of anticipation every time is still gonna be there oh my gosh of course it was there so prominently for virginity, but there's still that bit of like, we're getting naked. I watched recently The Notebook, and there's such that beautiful,

innocent adolescent scene between Ryan Gosling and, what's that lovely woman called? Rachel McAdams. Yeah. And they're both looking at each other, and they take theirams yeah yeah and they're both looking at each other and they take their clothes off and they're both looking as they take their clothes off i think it's just so sweet and so beautiful because they both had obviously what's made

out in the film that they haven't seen tits or a penis before so they were so like oh my god you know but but most of the time guys you yourself. You see Squidward looking at you and you think, what the fuck do I do with this? You know? What's going on? And then they see Mr. Crab. And they're like, I don't know how to get through Mr. Crab's claws. And you're like, well, neither do I. Yeah.

You know? Something that I was going to ask you to do with the virginity. Yeah. If you could pick a perfect location oh what do you think is the perfect location to lose your virginity oh my god i i think if i plan if i had a perfect day and with losing my virginity yeah i feel like it would be in some like bougie hotel room with like dim mood lighting. Yeah. And just kind of like the two of us and it's like a sexy getaway and we know we're going to shag like a premier in.

So we can have the muffins afterwards. Brilliant. Brilliant. I feel like, I feel like somewhere like intimate. Okay. I wouldn't, not like a house party.

But then again, there's something quite exciting about doing like, and about like, actually maybe not for the first time. Yeah. That's about doing like and about like actually maybe not for the first time yeah that's not what i'm thinking no not for the first time i feel like hotel with candles fuck that i feel like you'd be so scared you'd be like oh my god oh my god no if it was something like no i'm backing hotel with candles or just in my own room me too or in their room yeah because you know that that's comfortable absolutely i'm thinking free house your parents and all of that are gone you two have been cuddling all day or whatever and then you just lose it in your house you feel safe and it's go time it's go time yeah definitely so i have been told by a listener of the debrief that she had a dilemma. And she, yes. And she said that she wanted us

to do a section this week about cheating or not cheating. Okay. So she talked to me about the situation and she said, I don't really know what to do because I feel this way towards this. What do you think?

Okay. Lay it on me. Yeah. Okay. So let's debrief. Let's debrief about thisief so she told me that apparently that her and her boyfriend have been together for I want to say over a year okay and they've been going really strong yeah and they're at uni together yeah she is i think she's in her final year oh gosh and he's in his final year yeah yeah they're both in final year together

both at uni together both um like they're they're living situation they're near each other but they're not like living together they've been together for a year and they're getting on really well families know each other they've been on holidays all of this quite a clubbing couple like to go out all of this okay so she said she was out the other night with her boyfriend and a group of guys who were his friends and a group of girls who are her friends really really nice started off really well the night anyway they went to classic all by one having a few drinks having a really good time and anyway she she said to me that apparently on nights out they don't really spend much time together because she's with the girls and he's with the boys there's not a lot of blending okay okay so i was

okay first of all i thought that was a bit of a red flag why aren't you blending do you know what i mean that's was that coming from him that he didn't want to blend she didn't say but I would assume so after what she said so anyway they were all talking and stuff and then the boys and including her boyfriend or went up to the bar yeah and she sees her boys her boyfriend just at the bar with his friends and blah blah blah one thing leads to another she sees him chatting to a gun she's like not really bothered just you know chit-chat whatever and he sees that he pays for his drinks and hands one to her oh then turns around and comes to us with the boys and she's like oh can i have a chat with you and she said did you just like what's that drink and he said oh i just bought that girl

a drink and she's like what why did you do that i'd a drink. And she's like, what? Why did you do that? Oh, I'd be fucking livid. She's like, what the fuck? She's like, you're cheating on me. And he's like, I'm not fucking cheating. So then he gets his back up. And he's like, what do you mean? So his side of the story was like, I was literally just chatting to a girl.

We had the same order, apparently. Which I'm not being funny. It wasn't a fucking tropical punani that came out of nowhere. It was a gin and tonic which yeah oh come on we have the same drink everyone here is the same drink gin and tonic yeah not uncommon so then just bought her one and gave it to her she wrote into the debrief and said cheating she was like girls this for me is cheating and i was like bang fucking on this is absolutely cheating if i saw archie buying a drink for why are you buying drinks for another girl if that's not family or if that's

not one of my friends like if i just bought a drink for you or like you know my close girlfriends i'd be like fine whatever for a random girl why are you doing that see i'm not i don't i don't understand that it it feels like oh because the thing is is i'm like cheating ah that's so difficult because to me i'm like okay he's acting single which is that's cheating you're acting single cheating because mentally he's checked out yeah cheating does not is not defined by a physical act that's really sleazy i don't like that that's really really cheating can also be emotional you can absolutely emotional cheat yeah it doesn't have to just be physical so then i started to think of a few more now i want us to have off the boat okay okay i just want you to give your initial response.

Okay. You can't be like, well, it depends. You just have to say cheating or not cheating, okay? Okay. Imagine your boyfriend gives his female friend one of his hoodies to keep. Not cheating. Interesting.

Depends which friend. that's the thing one of his friends not your friends his one of his female friends close female friends yeah he gives that so oh my god half my hoodie she wears all the fucking time that'll piss me off but i feel like his intentions would be nice okay i'd say not cheating having lunch with a female co-worker in the week or the weekend in the week not cheating wow i'm disagreeing for both so far but um having a work wife or cheating what the fuck with you and your work wife men mentally but loads of shit happens with work wives yeah and work husbands yeah you hear it all the time yeah you do you hear it all the time

work wife shut up not when you're coming fucking home to me big man shut up all right shut up work wife stupid man okay um oh this is having dating apps but not using them. Oh, cheating. I wouldn't say, I wouldn't go as, I would say again. It's acting single, it's cheating. Acting single, it is cheating, yeah. Because if he's like, oh, I just got the Tinder on my phone,

he still wants the fucking ego of Emily from Bristol, liking him. Super liking. Super fucking liking. Nah nah piss off don't you don't you ever try that on me like no go on give a few to me seeing a female friend and not telling you about it cheating absolutely fucking why are you not telling me about it like when we talked about red flags why are you not telling me lying if you can if you literally can just say to me look going for a drink with such and such but not wait was it a drink um meeting up yeah i'm gonna meet up with

such and such um because we've got this too but i wanted to tell you so you didn't feel weird yeah well fine off you go off you go i'll still be livid and i'll tell you i'm fine but i'm not fine um no but why are you not that's us yeah okay, what would you do if a girl voice notes you from your boyfriend's, like... Phone. Phone. Drunk girl, random girl, grabs his phone and is like,

like, oh my God, like, I hate your husband. Like... I would not be happy. I'd be fucking... I'd be like, who's this? Who's this drunk bitch? I'd be really annoyed. I'd be... livid. I'd be like, who's this? Who's this drunk bitch? I'd be really annoyed.

I would be like... But is it cheating? Because he's technically acting single by hanging around loads of girls. It depends that you kind of need context for that one. Yeah, you do, don't you? Yeah, it kind of set you up for failure there. Yeah.

Okay, this is another good one. Dancing with someone at a club. So your boy goes out with his boymates and he dances with a random girl. Cheating. No, because you do not dance with randos in clubs unless you want to get with them. Okay, fair.

I'm sorry. You actually don't. That's fair. Unless they're the 50-year-olds that sit in the corner and you're dancing with them. Dance with your mum. dance with the mums no problem yeah do not because i guarantee the girls they will be dancing with are the ones that are single and the ones that are grinding up all on them loving life because they want to get with them yeah so true you only i've only ever danced with rando boys in clubs because i'm like i want to get with you yeah that's and that's that and this is back to the whole thing what

the girl said is that that the girl that was talking to your boyfriend at the bar clearly a single and clearly started chit chat because she wanted to get with her and she would she wouldn't know that he was in a relationship because he doesn't want to be seen with her no because he's no mate not made any bloody effort that's a real red for me darling i'm saying cheating i am saying she's why are you buying another girl a drink i would just i would say because that starts up a conversation that it just seems that mentally like and a signal that you're single it just yeah it just mentally seems that he wants to have his cake and eat it at single but be in a relationship which is it just isn't gonna work.

Nah, you're a cockwomble. He's being a cockwomble. He's an absolute cockwomble. Off you go darling. Okay, Katie, I have got two. I've got one. Okay, ping pong we all start. Okay one oh my god when you have to describe directions this happens oh my god this happened to me today that's so real when someone stops you on the street that the street there was this woman who was like excuse me do you know where such and

such is before i knew it my fucking arm comes out like an air hostess and i'm directing so if you just follow the road straight in front of you you take a quick left why didn't I just say left and also why do I have to say all the way down the road with doing the air hostess signal the arm that raises above behind the air then comes down in front of you in a straight line I'm like just follow the road straight in front of you if you take a quick left I'm like quick left and so just walk across the road I do the walking I do the walking i'm literally like oh my god giving directions is so embarrassing why couldn't i've just just said literally just down the road to your left if you walk all the way down the road to your left and take a quick

left and then walk across oh god it's so embarrassing yeah right ready yeah mine is when people cough loudly and sneeze loudly but it's clearly like an attention thing i don't know why i'm just getting really jarred like if someone's like and then and i'm like was that necessary or when they're like you flammy freak it's when people oh oh when they're gonna sneeze and they're like oh just sneeze it out already yeah just take yourself outside yeah i get you don't need any of that okay next one oh my god right when you go to a social event okay and someone who isn't drinking i don't care if you're not drinking but they make it so known that they're not drinking that i'm not drinking tonight oh cool cool guys i'm not drinking so i'm not drinking

guys because i'm not gonna drink So I'm not drinking, guys, because I'm not going to drink. I don't give a flying... ferret whether you drink or not. Like, I'm genuinely like... You know, because sometimes I do. I'm like, oh, guys, I'm not going to drink. Fine. You crack on. But I'm not drinking,

so what should I drink? Oh, I'm sorry, Mother Teresa. You're not having a fucking drink. It's so far. Like, it is so far. Yes, I know what you mean. It's quite pick me. It i know what you mean it's quite it's quite me it's quite me i'm like i'll piss off then questions questions question

so this week i'm serious question yeah and katie's silly question yeah okay so my first one is so katie you are 23 years old i'm 22 i'm so sorry you're 22 years old don't age me out i'm scared and so you're 22 years old yeah you've met the love of your life okay six foot dark tan gorgeous blue eyes good shoulders brilliant broad cracking body, absolutely hilarious, makes you giggle. You have phenomenal chemistry. Brilliant. All of this. You've been dating for quite a while.

But he comes to you and he says, Katie, I'm a virgin. Okay. And you say, okay, as you just said. He said, I would like you to teach me. What would you do? him yeah would it first bother you that he's a virgin no okay that's good it wouldn't but i probably would be a bit taken aback yeah i'd be like, oh. Okay. Okay. Yeah. No.

I, yeah. But teach. I don't, like, it would, that would itch me out if it was like, and now you do this. And then, like, go with your instincts. And then I can correct you if I need to. I can guide whatever. Go, but don't, don't be sat there like, what shall I do now no yeah stop that that's nonsense yeah because i i think it's not the fact he's a virgin that's the issue it's the fact that you'd want someone to take control and if they don't know what they're

doing then they can't take control but if he if he fake it till you make it like truly like if he doesn't know what he's doing like start somewhere give it a go that's true and i can tell you if i'm vibing or not yeah that that's true to be fair but don't not try no no no don't not try just kind of like look at me and be like hey what now i'm like oh don't do that oh god yeah okay i agree okay what have you got for me would you rather oh yay your boyfriend yeah so in this instance archie yeah okay arch cheat on you once okay or shit on you every day oh my god cheat on you once in your but you like and it's with someone like i have to stay with them and and you have to stay with them and you have to see him cheat so you have to like and it's with someone like i have to stay with them and and you have to stay with them and you have to see him cheat so you have to like say it happens in a club like you have to see him

neck this girl in the club and it's gonna be someone that you're like it would be an issue for you like a big issue like one of your friends or something or archie shits on you once a day why is he shitting on me though can't Can't control himself. But is it like a solid poo? I would say maybe you get a little skiddy. He kind of wipes himself up on you and you get a little skiddy. That's fucking disgusting. Clean yourself, my friend. He's like, oh, need a poo. Oh my god, clean yourself.

Skiddy's on you and then goes to poo. Clean yourself, my friend. Why are you doing that? Or he cheats on you once and you have to watch it. That's a hard question. With the poo thing. Yeah. Why are you pooing on me?

Can't help himself. Do you know what? I don't think I could do the poo. No. I honestly couldn't. But I have to stay with Arch if he cheats on me. Yeah. I think...

It's a hard question, actually. It's a really hard question. He po hard on me every day why are you doing just a little bit though not like not like a full like plop but like wiping his ass and his skids i'll be like oh clean oh god i'd get the ick so bad it would be icky oh my god it'd be disgusting it would be disgusting this is really hard because i'm kind of verging towards the cheap i really don't want to no because i would i would take the cheap if it's just one if it's just once and like never and it and it's not like anything will come of it it's literally just once almost like a hall pass oh shit almost i mean i would be absolutely devoed yeah and i'd be so angry and you would have to do a lot of groveling to get me fully back yeah because even though in

this terms of the scenario i can't go anywhere yeah but i'd wink wink nudge nudge you the game master and say i'm gonna pretend that i'm not allowed to go no i'm gonna pretend that i am gonna go but i can't you know i'm gonna have to take the cheating i'm just sorry archie i don't want you to shit on me all the time no no no i'm not a litter tray no no okay guys that's the end that is the end of the park the end of the dark days are over they're're over. Guys. Over and out. Over and out.

Have a great Monday, my loves. Have a great Monday. Everyone think about their first virginity. Oh my God, yeah. Sit and reminisce, guys. Sit, reminisce. Reminisce about your virginity, guys. On the Victoria Line. Sit and have a thing.

Yeah, sit and think about yourself. Sit and think about that. All right. Have a great day. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.