The Debrief - Flatmate Fiascos | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! In this weeks episode we are covering all things flatmates, living situations successes and shambles! As always please email us: [e-mail] with any debriefs or dilemmas or DM us @the.debriefpodcast Have the most amazing week!Lots of love,K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

welcome to the tv well done pete she's back in the studio tell jesus the bitch is back i was in the 212 or don't you did you you miss me when you were in Portugal? Oh my God, I missed you every day. Every damn day. I got a four hour bus from Faro to Lisbon and I stared out the window

thinking only of you. I bet you did. I bet you were like, what was the thing that reminded you of me the most? Oh, there was some really good looking clothes shops

and actually they were really good on gluten free stuff in Portugal and every time I'd see they'd be like we could do it gluten free and I'm like Kit would love this Kit would love this this is what Peach and I were saying the other day so we went for a hot girl walk and we were like what things do people

see and think of you like what things like whether it's friends, ex-friends, ex-partners parents like what do people go living thinking they see this and they're like oh kitty right toxic trait i love that people do that with me probably they see anyone with a huge ass and they go and they're like k2 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah 100 percent 100 hundy p hundy p's now you know i hated saying that but i've seen joanne mcnally says it so all of a sudden my in my vocab my singing teacher's recently been saying she's

she used to be like hundy pea and i'm like what but now i'm kind of addicted to it she used to say it when we were mount view and i was like icky hundy pea but now joanne mcnally does so i'm like hundy pea cool well yeah one hundy pea one hundy, it's cool. Yeah, absolutely. You know it. Now, I've missed you, McNeil. Yes, yes, yes, you should do. And I would like to know your mantra this week. My mantra this week, I choose people who choose me. Love that.

Oh. See these gongs? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I choose people who choose me and we're going even back to the thing i said what do you look at and think of me i have people in my life all right that i fucking love and i know for a fact if i was like i need you they'd be there i wouldn't be like will they will they i know they would yeah there are people

that have now dropped out of my life that I'm like well that's interesting like people coming but the ones who stick they stick yes and even last well the weekend just gone I had my friend here when we went to the rugby and she was like and I just reminded me she was like those important people kitty she was like name three people now that would show up yeah on your deathbed and i was like i know those three people and are they around me yeah love that's such a nice feeling that's really nice yeah so i just felt really like yeah do you know what i'm gonna choose you because you choose me and i love you for it 100 what's your mantra little peach my mantra is forgive and let go

What's your mantra, little Peachington? My mantra is, forgive and let go. I've missed you. I've missed you. I've missed you. The petty nurse is back. Hey, when they go low, we go high. Michelle Obama.

Oh, and what's it? I was between forgive and let go or let them. Have you seen that on Call Her her daddy Shay Mitchell went on call her daddy and it's like the let them theory oh if anyone wants to do anything wackadoodle let them hey not my problem no not my problem no and I'll leave it at that yeah again what is that forgive and let go forgive and let go do you know i like the let go bit i'm like will it happen wait wait wait wait the thing that peach and i love more than anything like even after the end podcast now well before the podcast even katie was like to me hey kit like what you're doing after this i was like fucking nothing and i was like in the hope that she needs me for an hour we can like spend time

the two of us oh yeah during the hour anyone who knows us we will talk shit about you there's nothing like dissecting the same situation from every angle possible when you get a new piece of information it is different no because it is and really like i need to seek out this new information yeah there's it's just one of those things hey forgive let go never forget maybe that should be the caveat now forgive and let go but don't forget brackets but don't never forget i think it's important you know when people say forgive and forget nah i'm not about that life no forget i'll forgive because i'm in like it it gives me a weight off my chest. Yes, it's actually selfishly. But I'll forget it

and I won't. No, no, no, no, no. Because it makes me more cautious of you next time. Oh, 100%. You're not going to make Kitty McNeil

a mug twice. No. Once is enough, my friend. Once was humiliating. Once is enough. Twice. Oh, you're losing

access. You're losing access to the Katie Leach experience here. Yeah, you are. You're losing it. Yeah, yeah. You've been subbed to us. You're losing access to the Katie Leach experience. Yeah, yeah, you are. You're losing it. Yeah, yeah. And you've been subbed to us.

You're not getting VIP tickets the next time. You've lost your early bird entrance, darling. You're coming in general seating. Oh, absolutely. No VIP. Uncomfortable chairs. Oh, 100%. Tell me your song this week, Peach.

My song. You have to sing it to me. My song is. Well, I know it. I won't. I hope you do because although i've just recently discovered it which is a bit disgusting do you have to do you have to let it linger you know i'm such a fool for you you got me wrapped around your finger

do you have to do you have to do you have to? Do you have to? Do you have to let it linger? Lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely. It, I can't believe. It's such a great song. Who's it sang by? The Cranberries.

I can't believe I've gone. The Cranberries. The Cranberries. I can't believe I've gone my entire life without hearing this song. What do you mean? I genuinely had never heard it until I was in Portugal and it came up on Shuffle

and I was like, oh my God, this is, actually I think I saw it on TikTok and I was like, this is such a cool song, wonder who it's by. I started listening to it

and I'm like, guys, everyone like, listen to this song and they're like, are you fucking joking? How did you not know this song? Literally did not know it.

You're picking the most obscure songs and it just turned you down. I bet you've never heard of a nursery rhyme, have you? It's the diffuser again. There was smoke in the studio. I bet you've never heard of Humpty Dumpty. No, no. Because you've been too busy.

Under a rock. Under a rock like Patrick. Like Patrick Star. Yeah. What's your song? My song is... I'm gonna start this flame. Yeah, I'll never let you

go oh loving that growl oh I love the stop this flame

by Celeste oh it's such a good running song I had it on this morning

and I was running and I was like I'm gonna stop this flame I was like what I'm going to stop this thing. I was like, what a tune.

Celeste, she's got some bangers. Yes, and it's strange how people can change. Bangers. Oh, it's great.

So many bangers. So I'm going to a concert on the 20th of May. Are you? Yep. Celeste will be performing. Tom Adele will be performing. Who are you the the one near you oh i think where what where are you going with she could leave me for a week it sounds like lots of fun she thinks she can leave me for a week it sounds like lots of fun she thinks she can

leave me for a week i'll never forget i'll never forget no you can't i'll forgive i'll forgive forgive let go but don't forget no i'll never forget peach i was heartbroken that way i had to spend a whole week with the boys without you stinky boys can you believe that at least when i'm gone with arch you only have to take one of them yeah that's true i had both of them i was like fuck this or when you were in australia i got a glimpse i got a glimpse it was terrible and it's like on the edge of kind of like they kind of a bit beef male beef is so different from female beef oh yeah yeah yeah but also i feel like with female beef it can be a more more kind of let's just get a crack on peach peach come on do your thing do you think boys are quite passive i've noticed really yeah it's just they were quite passive they were like oh that's fine

because you didn't clean up your stuff oh no don't, don't worry. I'll just put my shoes away. And I was like, what's going on? Hilarious. Yeah, I was like, different beef. Oh, interesting. Different styles, I know. And so the recommendation this week, I'm actually going to pass to you, Peach, because you were in Portugal.

So I'm going to ask you what your favorite recommendation may it could be food be restaurants i've got it tell me what your record recommendation my recommendation this week is laura el musical laura laura we went to go see and i do love a spontaneous thing we saw there was this really lovely looking theatre in Lisbon. Oh, nice. And they had this big screen outside with a trailer for Laura the Musical. And we were like, as musical theatre students, surely we should immerse ourselves in the Portuguese musical culture.

Absolutely you should. So we all went to this, we went to like a restaurant before, got super drunk. It didn't start till nine. Why is it starting that late? What was a girl meant to nine. Why is it starting that late? What was a girl meant to do? Why is it starting that late though? Sang a jug of sangria.

Yeah, I bet you did. It was delightful. Thinking, I'm very, very merry right now. I went to go see Laura the musical. Laura. Laura. It was a rip off of every single musical I've ever seen. Like in different ways.

Really? Like every musical number was like, they had a Grease number. They had a Sunset Boulevard number. They had a Hadestown number. And it sounded exactly like those shows, staged exactly like those shows. But it wasn't. It was about Laura.

It was about- Oh my God. Laura Alves. I think Portuguese icon and film star star but surely if it sounds exactly like greece would they not be like suing they had a matilda number so i think it's too small of a i don't know really okay the matilda they had so 42nd street they had a tap number it was wow it was glitz and glamour it was a spectacle it was three hours long It was glitz and glamour.

It was a spectacle. It was three hours long. It finished nine till midnight. Oh, my God. Your parents wouldn't be there. Oh, absolutely not. No. No.

But the subtitles were also, like, wrong. Like, they were... Oh, hilarious. Because they had the subtitles and I couldn't read them. So it was actually so... I loved it. Oh, that is so cute. It was so much fun. Oh, I love it.

Well, guys, if anyone's heading off to Portugal... Go see Laura. ...this summer, see Laura. It was a good time. Get drunk beforehand, like, peached in. You'll love her. Oh, I love it. Well, guys, if anyone's heading off to Portugal... Go see Laura....this summer, see Laura. It was a good time. Get drunk beforehand, like Peach did, and you'll love her. Oh, and it was merry. Who knows? Those tap numbers might not have even happened.

You were just so fucking drunk. I could have just been fucking asleep the whole time. I could have dreamt it. It could have... Embellishing. Yeah. Let's debrief. I've got you back so this week we are talking all things flatmates and living situations we know the tricky situation you can be in whether when you move to a new city and you think do i live with a friend that i know and potentially work with those links or do i make

a whole new group of friends and live with a group of randoms yeah yeah it can be happening when you move city to do with uni it could happen when you go to find a job yeah it could happen so many times but we've had a lot of people writing this week about this topic yes so we're going to talk about it so first of all we're going to talk about our own personal experiences yes and our opinions on the living situes and before we go any further we're going to give the three examples but you still live at home yep living with people that you knew before you moved in yes or living with complete randoms yes tell me your thoughts feelings i feel like we've done we've done these all because I've I took my well technically I took my gap year

so I was living at home and working yeah but I hadn't left home and come back to live at home yeah yeah so but I really enjoyed living at home loved we moved in with randos in halls yeah that was all randos that was probably the most nerve wracking. The one I was most excited for was knowing the people we were going to move in with. Completely. For when we started living together outside of uni. Yeah. That was really, really fun. But I think it's a different vibe in each one, but I didn't dislike any of them.

Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree. I didn't have the experience. You did a year out before you came to Manview when we met. so I didn't have the like working living at home situation and I always feel a bit like oh like jealous of people that live in London but live at home because I'm like god you're saving so much yes you know yeah but equally it's like there are benefits and there are not because I equally you know the things we do in our flat I wouldn't do at home yeah

I'm just like I couldn't do that you know so I feel do in our flat i wouldn't do at home yeah i'm just like i couldn't do that you know so i feel like it is a whole different experience let me say now let me say let me say let me say we moved in with a bunch of randos when we moved to mount view yes now unlike other drama schools they provided us accommodation yes a lot of drama schools don't so you kind of have to do it you're by yourself fend for yourself yeah whereas we did have halls yes we were so lucky that we were in the same flat but like you were empty i was actor so we could have been in completely different blogs 100 we were so lucky that we had a flat had a fantastic time but let me tell you when i did this i was 18 you were 19 yeah would i have

the confidence now at 21 i know it's only a few years difference i know it is oh my god would i have the confidence now at 21 i know it's only a few years different i know it is oh my god would i have the confidence out at 21 to just throw myself into the deep end do a bommie splash and look around and everyone's a random i don't know peach it's really daunting and i've said this so many times i feel like my i wouldn't call it social anxiety but i would say i get more nervous socially the older i get god that's fascinating really joining my ma i was like oh my god this is a whole new bunch of people i've got to make friends like first day back at school like our first day i remember i was terrified because i was like oh my god like i'm gonna have to start getting to know these people like oh and it's so much more effort. Yeah.

So I feel like going into a flat with randos only if I was planning on not socialising with them at all. Yeah. I think it's the scariest option out of the three. Yes, 100%. To be like, fuck it, I'm just going to live with a bunch of randoms. But I think I have got the most out of it. Like, I would have never met you. I would have never met Arch.

Yeah. And now we all live together. You know, like, i truly think it is the bravest thing to do i think people do more likely do it when they're younger and i would encourage them to yeah you know like your little sister when she leaves yeah like home or when she finishes her a levels if someone like that came to me and said what should i encourage go into halls. Go into halls because you'll find your flow. Yeah, because my mum actually, she didn't do halls in uni. Oh, really?

And she went into a shared, flat sharing with working professionals and stuff because the applications for halls are closed by the time she got round to it. Oh no, what did she say about that? And she said it was the worst. Really? Because she was like,

if you can, she would recommend halls to anyone. Because when I was't know, what did she say about that? And she said it was the worst. Really? Because she was like, she would, if you can, she would recommend halls to anyone. Because when I was going to, she goes, oh, you'll go into halls. Oh, interesting. Because she was like, if you get a flat share that's not near the halls or not near the uni, like you just, you miss out on a lot socially.

You feel left out as well. And if you think we had the best time, I mean, we made the most of it because it was COVID. But oh my God, we met so many people. There was so much drama. I loved it. You know, it was great. And even just like Peach and I were kind of diagonal,

like across doors and going over and making your girl bestie or like having things to talk about or coming into my room when I was unwell. Like, you know, there were just so many things you made. And also those friendships are so accessible you know that's the good thing so i would encourage that and then living with people that you know oh that can be tricky i tell you there are some people in my life talking about

that i choose them they choose me i'm gonna snake them out and there are people in my life i fucking love but would i live with them not a chance i think this is the blessing i physically couldn't live with you we've always lived with each other we've yeah we've only known each other through living with each other which i think has been the biggest blessing yeah i think so because we know our boundaries and we know what we like exactly yeah but if there are there again yeah there are some people love them to death could not live with them no way so it's really scary it's almost like when you go on holidays with friends and you kind of it all kind of unravels when you think oh yeah oh my god let's live together and then you get to know them in a living situation and they are the worst it's

it's like when you move out of home and then you go back home for a bit and everyone's at home and you're like how did i live here like how did i do this yeah and you're like I did this for 18 years like how you know especially with yes yes you know with your sibling and you're like hang on a second we lived together for 18 years what is going on because you're so different people you know from you are different from when you move out you make new life skills you meet new people yeah so when you come back you're not that child anymore you're like yes you know so i think it is a good option if you have oh see i just would i would personally avoid going to live with someone that either is a very close friend yeah because it could ruin the friendship yeah that you work with i would avoid that at all costs truly i think in you get sick of them. Truly, I feel like... Do you remember that situation where I had a similar situation

and I honestly almost ripped my hair out? It's honestly like, it's terrible. And I honestly think, truly, it might be best, if you're moving to London, to move in with randos. I think so. Because then you can make a group outside of... You can find your own social circle once you start work. but it is it is luck of the draw yeah you know it really is and london is so fast paced and yeah you know we're talking from a london point of view people

might be all over the world well you will be all over the world but what i'm saying is i really think there's a great separation of being like right this is my home like and that's my work yes you know rather than being 24 7 you're doing work together then you travel back together then you go to the gym it's too much it's really too much and there's a lack of boundaries 100 so we asked the debrief where they're living at the moment what the split is between living with your family yeah living with people you knew before you move in or living with complete strangers yes around us what do you think oh i'm gonna say oh it's quite hard okay i'm gonna say 30 i'm working out my fingers 30 percent randoms okay then 50 percent people they knew before okay then 20 family okay i think 60 percent living with family oh interesting okay

30 people you knew before you moved in. Oh. And 10% living with randos. Oh my God, okay. Which I think genuinely people... 10% that's so small. Yeah, honestly. Oh my God, I did not expect that. I thought that would be quite big. But I think truly it is in this day and age,

it costs a living. So many people, like it's not uncommon for people our age to live at home yeah yeah and it or even come back to move back home i see on tiktok all the time now people like i'm in between jobs i've moved back home for three months yeah i've seen it as well it's just mad someone else a great thing yeah it's a really good thing to do because you save money your parents will support you yeah if you're um privileged enough you know you have that good stability yes yeah that's that's so interesting i'd love to know whether whether those people's

family homes are in the place that they're yeah you know working well yeah because if you think as well though with remote jobs oh that's true most if people can work from home then they could do that in their family home even i like oh my gosh i love going home i'm going home this weekend peach is coming i'm going home and i'm really looking forward to it and i love being at home but i don't want to live at home because my parents live in the countryside yeah you know my life's in london my life's doing things yeah but you know pursuing different careers and I couldn't do that there you know so it's very different if your family live in different places yes but if then they you know our friend who we met out of you yes her family lived in London and then she would some I think she still does live at home I think yes yeah um she lives

at home so I'm like yeah fair enough um but I would say if you're moving to London this year, whether it's uni, work, whatever. Yeah. I do suggest doing randoms. Like I would. It honestly is good.

I feel like to meet new people. Yeah. And to establish what you want. Yeah. Because if you move in with a really close friend. Yeah. And think this is what you want. And it's the complete opposite.

Then you're obliged to stay with this person for the next year. Yeah. Whereas if you don't know these fuckers, can go do you know what rent a room i don't like this room i don't want to be in a big house or i don't want to be in a small house i don't want to be in a flat whatever you've got no obligation piss off this happened to a friend of mine recently actually that they were moving to london and randomly bumped into an old friend of theirs and they they've been living in London for years in this one place and she was like oh my god me and my boyfriend have just broken up he's moving out do you want the room yeah and at the time they were like oh my god absolutely this is

great because we're good enough friends yeah never lived together before apparently she is so untidy so and it's just nightmare it's just... My worst nightmare. It's just bad. Yeah. It really does make and break friendships terribly. Because if you're living with a really, really close friend, you have to consider, am I okay to lose this friend? Truly, no, you could. You could.

You could. 100%. And look, I'm not saying don't live with friends, but I think because it worked so well for Peach and I and Arch and our other housemate, we live as a four, we all met through living together. Yes. So we know how we work. We know... it worked so well for peach and i yeah and arch and our other housemate we live as a four yeah we all met through living together yes so we know how we work we know yeah we've developed that

friendship and we're very lucky you know people always say god that's not normal but if you make the effort and if they're your kind of people that's great but equally if they're not fantastic all you have to do is just say hi to them in the kitchen yeah softy room 100 yeah okay so we asked the debrief about their personal experiences with living with people they don't know yes living with people that they do know that they're friends and living with their families and kind of the positives negatives yes seeing what people say so this girl said about she's living with her family at the moment yeah she said love my family dearly but i can never bring anyone home after a night out. I tried once and my dad came into our room

and asked him to leave. No, you could like, you just couldn't. Can you imagine? No. Can you imagine? No. I'd be so humiliated. I'd be so embarrassed.

No, no. If you do live at home, I'd love to know like if people could write in do you bring people back I wouldn't have the confidence to no mom and dad in the other room no and especially my my parents are early risers they're up at like 7 a.m yeah there is no way I'm sneaking a man in and out of that house I also have a ring doorbell which you best believe they would check they would say and they would say and i would get in trouble yeah i just oh i don't know i just feel that is difficult that is so difficult it also depends where you live though but i live in the

countryside so if it's also slightly that if i'm taking someone if i'm on a night out in like my local town center and i need to get it taxi. It's a 30 minute taxi. Yeah. Like outside. It's not convenient. And also you can't really get, like I'm in the arse end of nowhere. Yeah.

And I feel like if that is a negative of the family because look, we're not sex addicts but I'm saying this is a part of growing up, having a bit of fun,

bringing someone back after a club, doing all that kind of shebang. Yeah. But if you live in a group of friends, that's great. Yeah. You'll all be laughing. You'll all be taking the piss yeah and it's also more awkward as well like even if you go back to theirs because your parents be like why didn't you come home exactly and you're

like yeah just like yeah go on do you have any i which is the clearer one which we touched on living with family it's a lot cheaper and you have home comforts yeah of course you do now i love my little sister has packed lunch now she's got to watch out because every time i'm home oh my god she has the the rice crispy square has bars in her packed lunch oh i nibble away at those yeah home comforts baby bells as well something i never think never think to stop my fridge i love the baby bell baby bells are always in my fridge at home and i'm like this is delightful like this is the best thing ever and also yeah it just is cheaper so much cheaper so much cheaper also kind of the family you know where you stand so if you want to come back and you're in a grump they love

you yes so you can be in a grump you don't have to put a face on her yeah you know you can just do that and also one that it kind of coincides which is a double-edged sword yeah you do have less of a social life i find yeah i would say especially like where i live my family moved away from my hometown when i finished my a levels yeah so i don't really have a base where we live now so when i go up I don't see anyone yeah completely but I'm only lucky that I've got like a few friends that live nearby yes at my home but then they might be at work or they might be away themselves so it's hard one girl said this is to do with people I knew before moving in yeah hmm well. Basically, there are three of us. We make dinner together every Wednesday and I get to spend quality time with my very close friends without having to plan it out.

Love it because it's so easy, but fuck me, it's intense. Ooh. I know. I know. It is kind of positive negative there because it's like, this is, I think, always what I feel about our friendship is it's so easy. Yes. And I mean this in different respects. I mean it in respects that we make effort so much with each other, but it almost just feels so easy because we just do. It's not like, oh, God, can I make a conversation?

Do you know what I mean? But then equally, we live together. So if I'm like, oh, do you want to go for a coffee? We can. It's accessible. So I know what she says by oh it's just an easy relationship but yeah it's much better

are we cooking dinner tonight are you coming back tonight oh well I bought the food shop this week so I think it's hard I always veer away unless we do stuff like Archie will always cook a roast sometimes which is so nice

but we split that and send that to him if you're, I would veer away from doing, like once a week is nice, but also, that is quite intense. And also it limits you, because if you're,

I don't know, wanting to see other friends, or going for a drink after work, or seeing your parents, going for a date, and they're like, where are you? Like I've made dinner.

It's like, oh sorry, I didn't know I was married to you. Yeah. It depends how intense it is really, but it sounds like you are. It's quite a ritual on a Wednesday. Yeah,

I would say so. Someone else said, I moved in with a girl from my village. Oh my God, she steals all my clothes. And the last time I caught her coming into my room, taking a bra, dot,

dot, dot, a Victoria's Secret bra, bra the pain from my drawer she then wore it shagged in it what never gave it back what i'll be livid i'll be livid i'll be livid i'll be livid what no that's bad that's bad now because that's kind of you know them bit so you're like but i know that you'll pay the that's kind of, you know them a bit. So you're like, but not well enough. I know that you'll pay the rent. Fantastic.

I know that you're not a drug dealer. Fantastic. But then it's like, but I don't know you well enough because you're wearing me bra. Oh, I don't like that. Because here's the thing. We started out friends. It was cool, but it was up to end. Yeah, yeah.

Since you've been gone. Well done, Pete. See, Kitty and I love to play swapsies. We do. We do love to play swapsies. We do. So I can't be like how fucking dare you take something from someone because guilty. Cuff me.

Guilty as charged. Fucking help. Lock me up. But I feel like we know each other so well that it's fine. Yeah. That it's easy. Look, with some friendships it can go, hey, hi. Look, I personally have never put your bra on.

No. Don't know if you've ever put mine on. Or as a bucket hat. Maybe. I'll use yours as a slingshot, baby. But, we borrow things all the time yeah all the time so with some friendships hey it's a no-go it's a green light with others people like fuck that so but if i kind of feel it's tip for tat it is that i'll make this and i'm like oh well i'll make that yeah happy days happy days from peach and peach is never naked from me oh you gotta have a look at yourself no no and it's also like

if i didn't know if i just met you yeah and we were like semi-close and then i'm wearing your fucking jumper yeah and you're like i come out after shagging a guy in your underwear god that's so bad that's crazy so bad though that's really bad that is poor form so bad do you have any others i had one living with people like complete randoms a main positive of it is no expectations that's true which is also you can reinvent yourself guys yeah you can be the cool mysterious person yeah and you can start a new hobby or you know yes yeah and it's one of those things yeah like if you move into a flat full of tennis players take up tennis completely like and or you can just be you can be so yourself because there's less expectation i feel like to be

like oh they know me so i should probably be more sociable and involved in their lives you know you can do as much or as little as you want with randoms yeah you can be as involved as you want you can do fuck all you can obviously clean your plate yeah after me bad because the place we moved into when me you and arch knew each other we did have randoms we have and two random two randoms one of them is now one of our closest friends yeah but it's a testament that one of them made a lot of effort and we get on so, so well with. The other one did not. I couldn't tell you where he was from.

But we didn't... No, I genuinely don't know what he's up to. No, but we used to see him on the street. He was our flatmate. He would ignore us. And he'd ignore us.

We'd be like, we'd see him in the gym and he would ignore us. Yeah. Like, someone can go one way. That's a good example. One of them went one way, one of them went the other.

But I didn't resent. He was a good housemate. He was. He wasn't dirty. Yeah, he did his stuff. Yeah. We never saw him. No.

One girl said, I found a new best friend that I would, that I never would have met if I didn't take the leap. She does finance. I'm a teacher. We would never have met. And I love her to pieces. We do everything together now i mean that's great i love that like it is great you get to meet new people exactly see this is

really good this is how i feel about our flatmate yeah the potential completely different field completely and we would never have met him and it's like the potential to meet new friends and and create different experiences oh it's so exciting. It's really, really great. As always, guys, we're going to talk about the dilemmas people have written in and this week there've been some juicy ones. Yes. So I'll read you mine first.

Hey, Kitten Katie, first time writer in. A new listener, but now I'm hooked. I'm actually now going back to listen to old episodes. How sweet. I really need your advice as i've got a really messy situation at the moment so i'll debrief yeah i have just got a new job in

manchester i am six weeks into my job and really enjoyed it but i feel i've made a real mistake about the living situation when i first arrived at my job i was still commuting from home which was over an hour and a half nightmare yeah that's not ideal until dot dot dot let's call her jessica dot dot dot a lady in my office offered a room in her house as someone was moving out okay she seemed really nice and i went around and the house was perfect oh brilliant so clean my room was a double with my own bathroom and i was delighted lovely i have now been in the house for over a month and I am feeling like the real life baby reindeer. Jessica is obsessed with knowing where

I am all the time. She says it's for safety reasons but it honestly feels obsessive. My first week of moving in together she booked for someone to come around to give us massages which I thought was very generous and very kind of her. She said it was a welcome gift for moving in since then she keeps saying that we should give each other massages oh i know how weird this sounds but it's not in a sexual way just in a very intense way like she just wants us to spend time together and she's coming up with reasons too two weeks in i met up with my parents for dinner after work and whilst i was there i switched my phone off and later on i saw i had 13 missed calls from her i got really worried that something had happened to the flat and when i got

in contact with her she said you really should tell me where you are. I was worried. Oh, after that, she didn't speak to me for three days. She was so angry. Stop. Anyways, it's got worse and worse and worse. And I don't know what to do. I've only paid for two months deposit. So it's easy for me to get out of financially. But logistically, it's not I work with her and I'm worried it would be weird at work. A job I've worked towards for years and I wouldn't want to leave it's my dream job how do i handle this should i speak to someone at work i really don't want to be around her as well as living her with her please help me girls i'm feeling a little panicked at the moment oh god that's sticky however i feel like there's an easy way out of this go on i think this is the first person you've lived with

yeah by the sounds of it I would genuinely she cannot hold it against you if you go I really like living with you but to be honest I've actually realized for me personally in my own space I need to live by myself so I'm going to be looking for a studio flat somewhere yeah cool I think making it and also positioning it from a place of, I think you're really great and I think we're really good friends. It's not you. Wink, wink. But I just... Baby reindeer?

Baby reindeer? What's wrong with my precious little baby reindeer? Where have you been? Oh! Fuck me. But I would be like, I think we've had a really good rapport. I just realised that for me personally, for my own sake, I need to live by myself.

My only criticism with that, what happens if she can't afford to live on her own? That's also true. Do you know what I mean? If not, I think the hard thing, you have to get out of that situation. That's crazy. Yeah, or as Peach said, use that situation.

And then if you find someone use that sorry excuse use that excuse and then thanks peach and then if you can't or don't say oh i ended up finding that i couldn't like i couldn't find a place yeah or it wasn't accessible you don't have to say afford or anything yeah i couldn't find somewhere it wasn't accessible yeah but i found somewhere new that's got like my own section whatever yeah yeah but i think i personally would talk to work i i would maybe go to someone is she being weird at work though as well do we think she hasn't said she's been weird at work she's just said that she's worried she's going to be about work and i don't know if this woman's above her like i don't right oh so i i would personally just say go to someone hr or someone higher up someone you trust yes explain the situation i would not talk about her badly no i would be as honest as you can and just

be like look i moved in together i thought it was going to be a great idea it really didn't work out yeah i've just found her way too intense and way too controlling yeah and I really don't want it to affect my work and they could say like a precursor if something goes wrong yeah and they could say great and then they could find you know you guys to do different things or maybe you know I don't know what work you do but you know you could be put on different teams whatever but I think you should be honest with work and have that make sure that's a very private personal conversation yes and try to avoid i don't know if you've made really close friends at work try to avoid saying things to them because it might be like gossiping yeah just try keep with hr start looking for new places and i would let

her know sooner rather than rate later that you move, but not too soon that she kicks off. Yeah, because she can make that unpleasant for you. She can make it really unpleasant for you. If you've got a week and you can go stay back at your mum and dad's house, fantastic. Yeah, yeah. You know, that'd be really good. Good luck, darling.

Oh, nice. No, no, you've got this. So this one is less of a dilemma, but a story. Oh, go on. So this is, we put on the debrief, any crazy roommate stories, this person responded, oh my God, we had to fake move out of our house and move back in. So expanding on it, our flatmate was crazy.

She would eat all our food, leave all the lights on oven on and steal our clothes including our underwear and was genuinely the most revolting slobby messiest person i've ever met we had a big fight one day where she screamed at me and another one where she claimed she was the magical tidying fairy in the house and we we were all so untidy so he bitch so we said we should all move out and made a plan with our landlord to secretly move back in a week later it was such a hassle honestly but it was worth to be rid of the nuts flatmate she would also never drain her bath water and she once left

a used pad on the bathroom floor that's disgusting that. That's grim. That is revolting. That is grim. That is absolutely revolting. I'm so sorry, girl. It's not been funny, though. The fact that they had to, like, move out to move back in. That flat must have been a fucking nice flat. Oh, you wouldn't want to... We still need the flat. I love the flat, but don't like the flat

many. Good on the landlord, though, for playing along. Good on the landlord for, like, saying, alright, yeah, fine. That is fucking crazy. Not to rain her bar bottle. What an absolute minger. me good on the landlord though for playing along the landlord like saying all right yeah fine that is fucking not crazy what an absolute minger and then she's the one like i'm so tidy i'm magical fairy no i get a great love how do you i'm the magical tidying fairy are you oh yeah no but i'm not being funny i thought the bra was a set the underwear underwear that's crazy no no no i'm so glad you're out of this situation now not no no was it just her and this other person or was it her and three others i think she said oh my god and they all had to pretend to move

that would have been a fucking hassle packing pack up your room The way I would have trust issues if I ever found out that someone did this to me. Oh my God, can you imagine? Like we're all moving. I'm like, oh, you're just going to move back in a week later than I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But imagine having to clean everything. I mean, it would help you find stuff, wouldn't it?

Yeah, that's true. Oh, I didn't know that was there. That is true. Fantastic. I've got one. Oh, I've got one. I've got one. I've got oh i've got one i've got one okay i'll ping pong you ready um mine is the passive aggressive hey angels just wondering if you could keep it down slightly i hate a passive-aggressive text to the group chat i hate it i hate it and especially we had a flatmate oh my god who who now maybe maybe maybe this is me being pedantic we would come back in late her room backed onto the bathroom if we were in the bathroom longer

than i would say a minute just brushing our teeth and talking about our day we would get a text being like hey guys just was wondering if you would keep it like hey angels give me a second hate to be difficult but like would you mind keeping the noise ever so slightly down i'm like we're literally going to be in and out in like five minutes like literally hold hold on for a second i'm not bringing me sleeping bag into the bathtub no i'm not going to be here all night okay i'm literally just washing my face no but she was such a culprit of this and she was also such a culprit of would send photos of like the dirty sink but this girl never cleaned i will say it she never cleaned her she never cleaned she never cleaned her plates no like food she never put

stuff wait the bathroom never cleaned the bathroom and it or she'd be the first one to be like i've mopped i'm like you fucking haven't like she i know for a fact you haven't like put your she was a nightmare she was a nightmare and then the fact i remember one time she was like she i know for a fact you haven't like put your she was a nightmare she was a nightmare and then the fact i remember one time she was like so i'm thinking basically if we all just split for a cleaner i'm like oh my god i'm like do you know that we've been cleaning i was like if you start like scrubbing up oh i think that would irritate me the most is she'd be like guys there's some stuff left out not being funny darling your fucking quinoa is in the bottom of the sink like it was always like i was oh i was like it was

disgusting no i completely get that right ping pong ready yeah okay when people start inviting themselves to live with you now look it's like Ooh, yes. I remember I worked with this girl. She was very, very nice. She was a lovely girl. But she started to enjoy the stories I tell about my flat. Yeah. And she was like, oh, look, if you ever have a room going, and I'd be like, no, there's just three rooms.

And she'd be like, oh, okay. And then I remember once saying that one of my flatmates was not from England she was like oh do you think I'll ever move back and I can have the room like if he ever moves out please make sure that I could and I'm like no I'm like honestly and then I remember I was like we were talking about where we're gonna live like when we need to move out to go somewhere else. We were like, should we stay in the same area? And she was just like, oh guys, please let me know.

Please, because I'm moving to, did I invite you to live with us? It's awkward. And I'm not being funny. I wasn't that close with this girl. No, no, no, no. And she was like, oh, I'd love to. Oh my God.

No, we've like, a few people have done this really irritating I remember one person that did this and they were very adamant and I'm like I don't know how to like say no say no but I'm like we're looking for places for four of us yeah yeah like no it's like when I'm like oh where should we go and she's like oh I'll come too you won't because I didn't invite you yeah it's really yes and yes I completely get you I'm just like oh

yeah so irritating right should we do questions questions I'm serious I'm silly you go

okay so would you peachy leech ever live one on one with a flatmate that you don't know of the opposite gender? Yes. Okay.

I would. Yeah. It depends. I would, yes. If he was extremely hot, I would find that so difficult. That would be so hard. I would find that so difficult i would find that so difficult but if i'm going in blind and it was like yeah it's a male flatmate and he keeps himself to himself sure okay sure but potentially potentially if he was like my type hot and just treated me

like with basic respect i would maybe fall in love with him yeah probably most likely yeah so that that's that's the bridge we'd have to cross there's always that risk yeah but then also on the other side if he was a bit of a freak and was like a bit weird i'd also find that difficult but i guess you don't know until you get in there you don't do you but i wouldn't be opposed to the idea okay okay that's good i wouldn't be like oh it's a guy i won't do it i was like if i needed to have the room you'd i'd still yeah i'd consider it okay but i think it's it i was about to say what about you but i think it's a different situation slightly because you're in a relationship i don't know i i am such a girl's girl yeah that

i'd find it hard living i would feel more comfortable being like i'm gonna go live with this girl that i've never met yeah let's just get our tits out and talk about periods yeah whereas i'd be like a guy i've never met for safety reasons as well i'd be a bit like just him and me jeffrey it would be a bit i'd be a bit it's a bit risky whereas like our friend now yeah if like if i don't know arch went off to america for work and you were working as well and it was just him and i oh fine yeah but i know him we've been together for years like we've got a years of friendship i don't know i don't know and it's different that I'm in a relationship. I think I'd feel a bit like, oh, this is slightly odd. Yes.

I don't know. Yeah. Okay, go on. My silly question is, would you rather live with a pigeon that untidied everything that you tidied up in your flat, or lived with a hedgehog that ate all your food constantly but only little bites right yeah like you go for an apple and like a third of it's gone the hedgehog's got to it but like you could enjoy the apple but if you make your bed pigeons like think again but unmakes your bed no i'm taking the hedge yeah i'm taking hedge I'm a clean psycho freak.

You are. Everything needs to be clean in my room. I will make, you know that episode of Friends, the moniker? Yeah.

Where Richard makes the bed and she remakes it? I do that with Arch. Yeah. I'm like, oh, thanks so much for trying, but it's not quite right. It's not quite right.

I am psycho with the cleanliness. Yeah. If a pigeon, I'd have to wring its neck. Yeah. No, I don't condone that, but I'd be so bloody angry with this little feral creature yeah whereas with the the hedgy i'd be like come on you know not have a little bit fast sharing's caring go on yeah go on bestie yeah as long as you're all right with gluten-free stuff yeah yeah that's true what would you take

i think i'd have to do the hedgy yeah um. But also sharing food with a little hedgy, I'd be annoyed. Oh, you'd be really annoyed. Especially like my sweet treats. Oh, my journey. If he's nibbling in me sassy kitty. Imagine. Oh, he's had a bit of your minstrels. You'd be so annoyed.

Oh, I'd be livid. That's the end of the line. That is. Yeah. But it's the lesser of two evils. Because if I'm actually actively trying to be clean... Yeah. Like...

What are you doing? And he's on top... I'm trying to change here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to grow. You've got a vendetta against me. Yeah, I take offense. Little man.

Yes. You would. 100%. All right, guys, thank you so much for another great episode. Please join in with more situations with how it's going to go with people you're going to live with. Yeah. Because people are going to be moving a lot after uni now.

Yes, yes. Or jobs, different jobs start in the summer. So please let us know. Yeah. But we love you. We love you all. Have a good week. Happy Monday, bitches.

Happy Monday. See ya. Bye.