The Debrief - Forever On The Naughty List | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

Welcome back to The Debrief!This week were are talking all things festive fibs...As always DM us @the.debriefpodcast or email us: [e-mail] with any debriefs or dilemmas 🫶🏻Happy December!Lots of love,K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul Welcome to the debrief And your co-host kid in McNeil Another week With that kids's been We're thriving Kids been gone

I've been gone So I was like for the week I was sad School show Yes, yes, yes Okay, okay So my mantra for this week, because it's the 15th of 30 December. Yeah.

So my mantra for this week is believe in the magic because sometimes extraordinary things happen. Love. I'm not even just talking about the big man upstairs. The Easter bunny, fairy, fairy godmother. Love it. I'm talking about anything. Anything can happen. Tell them.

Do, do, do, do, do. It's like it's such, it's so true, though, whether it's to do with your own, like, motivation with work or health or anything. I think, you know, it's such a nice thing to always, don't always rely on medical or don't always rely on, you know, believe in that things, extraordinary things can happen. I love that. Sometimes they can.

Tell me about your mentor this week, my lovely one. My mantra this week is every step is a step forward. Yeah, it is. To the face. To the face. Yeah, it's so true. Yeah. Even if it's a tiny one.

We're moving. Sometimes you don't have the energy to do leaves. Sometimes you don't have the energy to your marathon. Tip-de-toe. But ten steps. Still moving. Easy, breezy lemon squeeze, eh? Still moving.

Still moving. I'm always moving. Like a shark, always moving, always moving. Yeah, big time. Always on the go. Right. My song for this week is, of course, a Christmas song. Love. But it's not a Christmas poppy tune.

Oh. It's a carol. And it's, Oh, holy night. Oh. The stars were brightly shining. I love for you. that carol. Love, love that. Tell me if I've got this wrong. Adolfi Adam, is that correct?

Not the foggiest. Okay. I do know the Pentatonic's did a cracking cover of it though. I love that Carol. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a bit emotional. Yeah. Carols are quite emotional. Very emotional. Yeah. Is this the Holy Night? It's this the one they did in. It's that bloody great Christmas film called Nativity. Nativity. I want to say yes. Yeah. And I always feel a bit emotional. It is. It is. Brilliant. I love it. Tell me, Your song for this week. My song is also a Christmas song. Yay! And it is,

we will stop the cavalry. Bar-Tam-Ban-da-da-dan-d-da-d-d-da-d-d-tam. Now, my good old father was here last week for Dindins. I love that, ma'am. And Peach was around, and we were all talking about our favorite Christmas song. And what were you is Stop the Cavalry. Stop the Cavalry. Katie, as one of my dad's terms, snodge, which means, you know, very intellectual in your field.

Yeah, yeah. So you're like, you know, you've got, it's like Katie's that would like, you've got quite a few snodgy elements. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. Big time. But you were like, stop the cover in. Stop the cover. What a great one.

Literally. It was just the best time. It's fantastic. Now let's go on to records. Yes. So this week is Snowdome. Okay. Get in there.

Snowdome. And I think it's in Tamworth. Love. So sort of near Birmingham, I believe. And that's where I went to go see my friend. Yeah. And in Tammer. you can do bloody skiing yeah ice skating all of like all the snow sports it's like huge oh my god it was

bigger than hemel hempstead oh wow really really big my god yeah but i did the same again it was a complete whim yeah got to my friends on the friday and we were talking about what we should do and i was saying how i'm going to skiing in february with archie and his family and very excited and she said oh there's a ski center here and i said oh we should go next time and she let me know she says why don't we just go tomorrow? I thought, bloody hell, let's do it. Let's get in there. So we did. So excited, couldn't wait.

And then got my skis on and I was nervous again. Oh, no. Now I'm a bit nervous. Now I'm nervous. I'm nervous. But you know what? First time I didn't fall. First every time. Really? Well done.

Well done. First ever time I didn't fall over. That is so good. Because I thought Seth, it's inevitable a fall. Yeah. But I didn't. You didn't. But I asked her because she's quite good at skiing.

I can control, stop, start, left, right, all of that. Yeah. But if I fall, I can't get up. I have to physically take them off. I just don't have the upper body strength. Oh, I'm like, I can't get myself. Yeah.

So we made a pat that I'd always be in front of her. So in case I'd be forced to help you. Oh, she can help you. That's so good. Right. Are you ready to debrief? Yes. Let's debrief.

This week, we're talking all things, Santa Claus. Sandy Claus. Santa Claus. Now, can I just do a quick disclaimer? If you are, I'm going to be generous, 13 years, 13 years and younger, I would stop listening to the podcast right now. Right now. I don't want to ruin anything for you, so please take a step back. Yeah. Now all our 13-year-olds have gone.

Yeah. We are talking about the Santa Lai dilemma. Oh, yeah. As well as our own personal opinions, before we kick off, first question, my lovely. Yeah. Are you going to tell your kids that Santa Claus isn't real? Or is real. What are you going to do?

I'm going to let them come to me. I am doing the same. I'm going to let them come to me when they feel ready to have the magic ruined. I think, you know, but I would say if they're getting to like 11, 12. You'd be worried.

And they're like, well, Santa, I'd be like, listen, let's not do this. All right. Let's not play this game. Let's not play this game. I'd probably have a more honest conversation than the older they get. Completely.

But I wouldn't, I wouldn't. You're not telling a five-year-old, Santa's not real. No, no, no, no, no. I want my kids to have the magic, my parents gave me. But I'll be honest, Lily found out earlier than I. And then I came to the conclusion by finding Easter Bunny's letters.

Oh. And I thought, well, if they've hidden that, what else have they hidden? What else they're hiding? So we're all caught together. But I'm telling you, for about three Christmases, I knew and I didn't tell my parents, for two reasons. First reason. Was there an extra Santa gift?

First reason, I thought I wouldn't get my Santa gifts. Yeah. So I thought I'm clever. Yeah. Second reason, I thought it would break the harm. Oh. I thought Lily's already stopped. I'm the last one.

Will it upset them? Whereas they were thinking, when do we need to tell her? She's still believing. Approaching 16, Mike. I'm 21 birthday. 20 first. My sucks going.

Okay, so as I just asked you, we are going to hear from the debrief some hilarious stories of how they found out Santa's not real. But before we do, do you remember when you found out Santa's not real?

I do, exactly. Tell me, what was the situation? We used to have a DVU. cupboard in my old house and at the back of the DVD cupboard I was probably fishing for Shrek too or something at the back of the DVD cupboard I found now in my family everyone does Santa different in my family yeah there was one gift from Santa yeah and the rest was from my mum and dad literally that's nice that's lovely everyone had we called it the red present okay so you have your oh that's really sweet yeah so and it was always in different

rapping it was always like. Well done, Jane. So it was always in different wrapping. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you knew. Okay. It was the Santa present. Santa present. What did Santa get you? Yeah. Okay. So I was looking for a Shrek two in the DVD cupboard and found the wrapping paper. Oh no. Of the Santa present. Yeah. So I went, oh my God, what's my mom doing with the wrapping present like all in the back of the DVD cupboard? What's all this about? So then I just asked to point blank, I went, did you? Did you?

Yeah. Oh, how old were you? I want to say I was like nine. I was in year... I was in year five. Yeah, you had nine years of magic, okay. And it was also nice because my sister's seven years younger than me. So the magic was still alive.

So the magic was really still alive. I actually still don't know when they had that conversation with Maisie. Yeah. Because just one year... Well, hopefully she's applying for uni, so hopefully she's got job by that. She's kind of dropped in. But like, I do remember it being really exciting because she was so excited.

So then for like a good few more years, it felt still very magical. And did your parents give you and Lucy the do not tell your sister? And we still got red presents because they didn't want it to look weird. But then it got to like, I think once we hit like six, like 15 or so, my parents were like, oh, it stops. Santa stops visiting 60, you know. It all stops for the older kids.

But it was really sweet. That's nice. So we've asked the debrief listeners themselves of when did they find out, big man. It's a hard day. It's a really hard day. It's a really hard day. And some are wise like me.

Yeah. And keep it going because I think I'm still getting a red present. Yeah. And others think, let's notice in the other. So you will die at this one. It's a great one. Someone goes, I was terrified of Santa. And on Christmas Eve, I wouldn't be able to sleep.

Not from excitement Like all the other children But from pure fear Stranger coming into your house For sure A big man is coming into your house And you're like And you're sleeping

Yeah yeah yeah So you can also Comes in the night Yeah big time They say My bottom stair would creak When stepped on And I heard it once late at night

On Christmas Eve And I absolutely lost it from shit error I used to write letters to Santa asking him for his phone number and telling him he wasn't allowed to come in the room. It got to the point I was crying one night because I didn't want Santa to come into the house

or my bedroom. So my mum told me, look, Santa's not real. I'm Santa. Oh, fuck, that's cinematic. At first, I thought she was lying to make me feel better, which is adorable, isn't it? That's adorable.

But then, once I realised she was telling the truth and Santa wasn't real, It was actually the first Christmas Eve, I slept piece for me. Isn't that really odd? Everyone else is a devastation zone. For this individual, they're like, this is the best thing of her.

Thank God. Someone goes, I think I was in year five, so at the same time for you. I think I was in year five at the time. But anyways, we had this tradition that we would always go to my neighbours for Christmas dinner. Yeah.

I got so excited to tell her that I got a bike. And she told me, well, I know. Your parents kept it here in the garage to keep away from you. No. I guess I failed to mention that was the Santa gift that he got me. No. Oh, you'd die. You would die. It's like your red present. Oh, you would just be.

Can you imagine be? Because it's one thing ruining it for your children, but for other people's children. You would just, you would just be beside yourself. I'd be crying. Tears on Christmas. Can you imagine my little child going to you? Auntie Katie! I got a bike. Well, I know you silly dickhead. It was hiding in my garage You're a mug You're a mug I know exactly what it looks like

I know what it looks like Yeah And she's like Someone else goes We moved to the US When I was young The English language Was still quite foreign

To my mum at that point When I was eight I received some money As a Christmas gift Yeah I knew then Santa wasn't real When I saw

Love Santa Written on the envelope In my mum's Under 9 handwriting. Oh, too smart. Yeah. Followed by an inscription of ha ha ha ha ha. She'd gotten confused with ho, ho, ho. Oh.

To this day, the sweet memory always makes me chuckle in gratitude. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Merry Christmas. Ha ha ha. That did I tell you. You could love this. Once I said my mother a text, she had Blakbray.

Oh. So I sent a text to herself thinking, queen of banter. Yeah. Saying you're a ho, ho, ho. Because thinking Christmas. Yeah. Now, remember how to sit me down and say, you'll never call me a ho again. And I was like, and she was like,

that is a very bad word because I kept going, you're a ho, ho, ho, ho. That was so funny. No. Enough. Enough of that. Enough of that. Oh, my God. Someone else goes, finally, I found out,

I was 13 years of age at a pizza hut. Lake bloomer. Late bloomer. Late bloomer. Lake bloomer. My dad decided it was past due information. I mean. And to be honest.

It was. Yeah. And I was in such disbelief. I told him not to buy me any presents because Santa would take care of it. Oh, bless. Can you imagine thinking, you're so wrong?

Don't bother. Don't bother because I know he's going to provide. I know he's coming. He's coming. I've been great this year. Oh. Isn't that adorable? Isn't that really sweet?

Honestly. It must be such a hard conundrum for your child. If your child's like going on the age and you're thinking, I can't break the magic. But also, You can't go into secondary school thinking that Santa's real. It's like, what's the name?

Is it Beckian in Glee? I'm like, I literally watched that episode last night. Stop it. I literally watched it last night. He was Brittany. She still thinks Santa's real. Brittany, yeah. That was.

Okay, we've got two more. Okay. My son was starting to question the Santa thing. Yeah. But I really wanted him to still believe, mostly because I didn't want him to wreck it for his little sister. Fair enough. How he found out the truth.

was actually pretty clever. He set me and my now husband at the time boyfriend up. He gave me his letter to Santa and I got him the number one gift he had on the list. Yeah. A particular video game at the time. On Christmas morning he opened it up and said, I know it was you. To which, turns out he had given us a letter asking for that gift but put the real letter in the mail to Santa. to the North Pole with a different gift on it.

Too smart for his own good. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'd be like, you got me. I'd be livid. You got me? I'd be livid. I'd be like, look, do you want the magic to be real? Like, do you want the present?

Do you want an extra gift? Guess you don't want the present then? Yeah. Although I'd be like, what did you want a Santa for? Yeah. I could have got you that. What a mug? That's why.

Oh, it's clever. It's so clever. That is clever. So clever. Although I think I was a step ahead of him. I was thinking, if I tell them, I know Sam's just not real. Yeah. They won't be getting the gifts.

They won't be going to. Last one. This one's actually really sad. I know. Oh. Hi, girls. This one's actually about my son. When he was in year one, so what's that? You're like six?

Five, six, yeah? Yeah. He had a really rough year. Oh. For a variety of reasons, he was having some behavioural issues at home and at school. I didn't actually realize how much it affected him until Christmas morning. You're going to cry. This is really, this is, yeah.

He opened his Santa present, but didn't seem that excited about it. I kept asking him what was wrong. And then he said, Mommy, I don't think Santa is real, because if he was, I would have been on the naughty list. Oh, I just called his palms. She goes, well, that just broke my heart, and I burst into tears, full-on ugly crying. crying. My crying freaked him out so much. He started crying and it made me cry more and he cried so hard that he vomited on the Christmas tree. She said it was awful at the time, girls. But now he's a teenager and it is one of our funniest

family memories. We like the dark humour, I guess. Oh, that's so sweet. It brought my heart reading that though. I would be on the naughty list. Oh, darling, you wouldn't. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. Great way to manipulate your kids. Yeah. Santa's watching. You're not cleaning your room. No gifts for you.

I'm going to go tell Santa. Although what do you do when they are like 13? Livid. Yeah. Livid. Yeah. I'd be like... How can you manipulate them then?

Can't really. You have to go like old school mind tricks. Whoever came up with Santa lie, brilliant. Yeah. Not only for the magic, but also for the parent manipulation. Yeah, big time. If I will be using that, you'd be like, you want you saying that when Santa can hear everything, right?

Oh, Santa won't be getting you that. Interesting. Oh, I see, I see. Behaving this way. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Are you ready for debrief?

I'm ready. Okay. The subject title of this is I accidentally told my stepdaughter, Santa isn't. Oh. Hi, debrief. I don't even know where to start. Yeah.

I really don't know if I need advice, because I'm not sure there's any coming. back from this. But I would love to hear your thoughts. Yeah. My husband and I have been together for five years. Okay. Married for two. He has a 10-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. Yeah. And I genuinely adore her.

I've always tried to be the bonus adult, not the replacement mum. Yes. And to be honest, things have been really good. Great. Until recently. So, the Santa lie. I personally think most kids figure out. at least nine or ten.

Yeah. And I assumed his daughter probably had. Okay. I genuinely thought she knew. Hand on heart. I will get on to why later. Oh. But please remember that.

Fast forward to last Saturday. Yeah. We're putting up decorations. Chewing on a mince pie. Yeah. And singing to Christmas songs. She asks, super casually, can you help me write my letter to Santa?

Dad says you're better at writing or fancy. And without thinking, Without thinking, I said, sweetheart, you know Santa's not real. Oh, God. She froze. Oh, my God, no. My husband froze. I realized instantly I'd made a catastrophic mistake.

She burst into tears. Not like soft little tears. I'm talking full body, sobbing and shaking, hyperventilating. She kept saying, but Daddy would never lie to me. Daddy told me he met Santa when he was. It's all on. But whatever you've fucked it for you'll be. Oh, my God.

Oh, God. My husband whisked. Great word. Yeah. Say it. Whisk. Whisk? Like Miranda, whisk.

I saw a clip of Miranda today. You know, that great scene where he asks what sport she does and she goes to gymnasic. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, the way she talks reminds me so much of you. I'm, or the way that she gets herself in situations and bullshit. No, I'm like, it's going. We're very Miranda and Stevie coded. Yeah.

We are. It's so Katie. I love her. We are so that. We're so Miranda and Stevie coded. We all so that. Although, you know, Shona, Shona on I'm a Sleb. Oh yeah.

My dad thinks that he really reminds it of you. Really? Oh my God, Shona. Yeah. When she came, have you seen the recent S-Fle episode? Can I tell you? Yeah, yeah. She comes out with contraband.

And she's like, sorry. And he's like, it's Katie. Yeah. So, okay, so. Anyway, um, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Um, whisked her out the room and didn't speak to me whilst he was consoling her. Later that night, he absolutely unloaded to me, saying I'd violated a boundary and robbed her of childhood magic. Oh, oh, come on.

You're just annoyed it wasn't, like, yeah, yeah. Apparently, he and his ex agreed, Santa would be the one thing they'd keep special and protected. The next day, the ex called me, screaming down the phone. She said, I'd broken her daughter's heart and that she didn't want me anywhere near. her for Christmas, which I thought was unfair. She said, I'd forced her into a conversation they weren't ready to have. Now the daughter won't talk to me. She won't come around for Christmas because the mum won't let her.

And the family think I'm the wicked witch of the bloody North Pole. Here's the thing, debriefers. I didn't slip because I was careless. I slipped but because my husband had told me that she knew twice. He had told me she definitely wasn't a believer anymore. And they were easing her out of it. Oh. He's now denying he ever said that. I feel like I'm being punished for a lie.

He didn't even keep track of. Yeah. Signed from the woman who accidentally cancelled Christmas. Oh. So she's not asking for advice. She's asking for what our thoughts are. I think you need to just ride the wave. Ride the wave.

Because this will die down. Yeah. This will. Yeah. But, like, that's a very intense reaction from the adults around you. Like, I think you just got to literally sit and let the story. dawn blow over, because it will. Yeah, and I think coming from,

you and I aren't mothers, so we can't know that visceral, guttural reaction. I don't know what I do. Yeah, I know that my mum was devastated that I think some friend of Lily's mother had told the child that Christmas isn't, and Santa's real, and it said,

don't help the other kids. And my mum was furious, saying, like, God, I don't want it to get back to Lily. Yeah, so I don't know what it's like from a mother's point of view, But I do think my opinion is, look, your husband shouldn't have bullshitted the whole. No, why are you? Yeah, no.

Just be, I don't know whether he was embarrassed that he felt she was too old to know to still be a believing or something. But, you know, that can't, in my opinion, it feels like the mother and father are relieved that they know, but they can blame it on you. You're the scapego. Yeah, honestly, yeah. I think there's no way that you can bullshit your way out of this, though. I think you just keep your head down.

Got to ride the wave. Try and get her a nice gift. Yeah, great. Get her a nice gift. Yeah, yeah. She'll forget about it. Yeah, exactly, exactly. You ready?

I've got one. I've got one. Okay. I will ping pong you. Okay. You ready? Mine is just being resistant to Christmas in general. I've got a bit of a bone to pick with the people around me at work.

Because I keep saying, guys, when can I get into Christmas decorations? No. And they're like, not yet. I've started playing Christmas music at work and they're like, why are you doing that? And I'm like, no, I love it. I love it. Guys, it's... At home, this weekend, I had mince pies, months for all the decorations up.

I mean, it's listening to Christmas music. I'm fuming that we're obviously recording this ahead of time. However, because it's our housemate's birthday this weekend, he said he didn't want the flat decorated for Christmas for his birthday. You are joking me. Did he say that? He was like, oh, can you wait till after my birthday? You're joking me.

So we're not going to be able to... This would have been the perfect weekend. Well, especially because we're doing our flat Christmas the week after. Yeah. Oh, God, we're going to have to be on it. We're going to have to do it on, like, on Monday or Sunday. Oh, my God. And you're away Sunday.

I'm away Sunday. I know. Come on. Selfishness. I know. Why couldn't he be birthed a different day? Literally two days later. Honestly.

Honestly. Right. You ready? Yeah. The high and mightiness of, well, I would never lie to my child. I would never lie to my child. Everyone lies to their children. It's fucking Santa.

I, yeah. Saying that's the reason you won't tell them Santa's, I would never lie to my child. No, no offense. I would tell my mother, day and day out, thank you for lying for me, the fact that you gave me a magical Christmas. Yeah, thank you. You can't put a price on the magic. No.

You know, I'm like, you're not lying in a court of law. You tell them that the Santa's real and the rainiers are coming. Yeah, literally. You're creating a nice atmosphere. Don't be silly. Don't be silly. Question. Mine is serious, okay?

Do you think there's a right age to tell a child the truth about Santa? I mean, or is that impossible to get right? I think anywhere, if you're hitting 12, Okay. If you hit in 12. Hitting 12. You're going to big school then. You're going to big school.

I think the transition into big school, if you're still like... If he's been kissed. What's it? Yeah. If you've had your first kiss. If you've been kissed, romanticly. If you've been to your first house party.

I would say, leading with you think Santa's real is not right. It's not right. I'm like, I'd be having conversations. Yeah, I'm going to start year seven. Yeah, yeah. If you're finishing year six, Santa Believer, before you start year seven,

you need that clocked out of year. You need to be told. You need... The truth needs to be told. Yeah, absolutely. I think so. Yeah, okay. Okay, you're ready.

Yeah, I'm ready. So my silly question is, yeah. Would you rather commute via sleigh or via reindeer? Sleigh. Rander, and reindeer, I think I couldn't relax. I think I'd be... It's like on a horse.

Yeah. I'd be tight. Yeah, yeah. And sports bra would be on. Yeah, yeah. Whereas on the sleigh, what could I have slippers on? I could even be in jammies. Yeah.

And it wouldn't might. It wouldn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. You get places quicker as well. Absolutely on sleigh. Because my... I could bring a few snacks.

I can't be eating sweets on a reindeer. What happens if they get distracted? Yeah. Crash. Look at the road. You'd die. You'd die. He's the end of Christmas.

That is. Yeah. No lies to tell you. You've been dead. Still, it's the end of Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone. Right, guys, we've got to the end of the end. I hope you love that.

And please, please write in more. Please. Please, I love silly stories about how you found out or how other people found out. It's too good. Okay, have a great week. Love you. Bye.

I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul.