The Debrief - Ghosting Galore & So Much More

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

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i got a rebel soul mixing it up this week guys yeah that that took a lot of brain power guys guys guys it's confession time oh my god this is so embarrassing it's confession time get a text get a text from our lovely editor oh my god it's so embarrassing guys saying yeah i don't know how to break this to you those microphones have never been on so so thanks for staying with us while we've had a five month long technical difficulty. It only took us 22 episodes,

but we're fucking here. No, here we are. We're actually here. Lucky numbers. Because we thrive and overcome. We absolutely do. What is one in, we figured out that Austrian is German.

German, yeah. German. German. What is it? Wein. Eins. German, yeah. German. German. What is it? One. Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn, elf, zwölf. Did you do German? I fucking nailed it.

I fucking nailed it. And when I was at girls' school, I did German. Did it for two years. Fucking bossed the shit out of it. Yeah, I bet you did. Got to third year. Nah. you did third year nah nah nah nah nah something just kind of leveled up level up level up and i was do you know what it wasn't that you had had enough of german it was that german had enough of you

yeah yeah it was like kitty we can do no more for you you've mastered it yeah so we're gonna make it so hard that you just gotta tap out yeah and i just thought yeah i was like the knowledge i've got can i kind of zeit and might and her can i rent a tent here you know kartoffelsalat potato salad like they kind of thought shit she's just fucking she could live there oh i'm there i'm there yeah see you in berlin see you in berlin no i feel like the best compliment is when you go abroad and then someone starts which has never happened to me where someone starts speaking in in the language because they think you're local yeah so never happened to me don't know why do i not look greek no yeah do i not

look greek i know um but if i went went to Germany and someone started speaking German to me, I'd feel really, really fucking good. Well, do you know what? That exactly fucking happened. And not only did it fucking happen, I had the same experience of you where someone thought I worked there. So Archie got his fucking ear pissed. Yeah.

Archie got his ear pissed. And then after that, we went in to get some cotton pads. For the saline solution. God guys, I don't get the ache. I'm a strong woman. A lot of love for that man. And this woman's shouting at me in German and I'm like, fuck off.

I'm on holiday. I'm like, seriously. And she's like, going at me again. And I'm like, I need you to turn around. And I'm like, sorry, what? And she's like, you know what? And then she says, you work here? And I said, no, says like you work here and i

said no i don't work here no i don't and i just thought stabbed to the heart that's now how katie felt in that moment in boots yeah it's like yeah i yeah i am not an employee i'm on my holiday yeah yeah yeah yeah i tell you the gems are very fashionable, though. Really fashionable. Yeah, all the Austrians. No, because Kitty and I, we're going to Copenhagen in a few weeks. Yes. And I can't lie, I'm nervous because I want to be a fashionable Scandinavian girlie. And that you will, my love, and that you will. Peach? Mantra.

Let's mantra away. Give me yours first. Okay. Progress always involves risk, and I'm willing to take chances hell yeah what do you say to taking chances oh yeah yeah i'm like come on you've got to like i did some job applications this week and you sit there and you write your applications and you're like oh god you know it's a bit scary you think well of course it's fucking scary well yeah if i don't bother i'm like not even gonna get it but there's a possibility i could if i take the risk exactly what is it willing to take fucking chances you miss 100

of the shots you don't take love it might as well throw your hat in the ring the worst thing they could say is no it's so true it's genuinely so true my mantra is i attract wonderful things into my life because i do but you do because i do you came home yesterday i was thinking i attract wonderful things into my life boom the door goes the door came in you walk in i walk in a really nice shirt that i'd like to steal yes yes love it it's a nice mantra tell me your song my song of the week actually so my song of the week last week was by casey and the sunshine band okay um my song this week is also by casey and the sunshine band come on casey meet stepher there oh that's the way uh-huh uh-huh i like it uh-huh uh-huh love it i was walking through waterloo station

with that song blasting through my ears and I can't even tell you, I thought, I am the main character of my own life. I'm literally like walking the sun shining. I felt like I was in like a 90s rom-com, you know, when they start to get their shit together.

Like I've had the heartbreak and I'm like, and I'm glowing up and I'm literally walking sunny's on yeah and it's like that's the way uh-huh and i was like it is the way i like it yeah it is that's it that is the way i like it yeah what's your song my song is ain't no mountain high enough hey no river yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm good i'm really good oh my goodness i know you're starting your ma course but actually katie no i sent my application in and you're coming yeah yeah i'm coming no you're

the head of the course um fucking love that song brilliant we watched bridget jones together the other day and we watched it with the boys and the boys fucking loved it which i love how the boys love even more genuinely i was like the fact we were like bridget jones brid other day, and we watched it with the boys, and the boys fucking loved it, which actually made me love them even more. I love how the boys love it genuinely. I was like, the fact we were like, Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones,

and they were like, yeah. And I was like, yeah, you can stay. I was like, yeah, fucking great.

You can stay. that song in it, ain't no mountain high enough, woo, and that's actually the best bit when it starts going a bit pitchy. When she, yeah.

Yeah, it's the best bit. And I turned to Katie and and said this should be in the pod yeah ain't no mountain high enough ain't no we get ain't no valley low enough valley no enough we'd get fucking under it on it no genuinely river wide enough we fucking swim it you get the butterfly i can swim it but i could certainly fucking canoe it yeah i love when she's running her little panties love it honestly her let on when she kisses colin farth oh my god and then so exciting says nice boys don't kiss like that

and he says oh yes they fucking do i know and that there's something quite exciting about seeing like colin farth say fucking it's like oh oh colin colin my first crush on Colin came from Nanny McPhee. Oh, the person you need is Nanny McPhee. I'm actually going to put something out there because I actually think we've coined a phrase. Tell me. So Kitty and I. What does coined a phrase mean?

Like we've created a phrase. Love it. And I'm going to copyright it because I actually think we're on to the next big thing here. So Kitty and I are subject to headaches and no free promotion here for head sticks. because I actually think we're on to the next big thing here. So, Kitty and I are subject to headaches, and no free promotion here. Put your hand up if you're a migraine girl.

Big time. Always on the left side of my face. Left side, interesting. Mine are always the fucking temples, so I have to get the forehead stick on my hairline. The forehead stick is like a menthol stick that kind of numbs your forehead and makes it tingle. However, these pesky fuckers every time we have migraines i can never find mine and you can never i genuinely must have

about 10 in different pockets of coats and it never is there when i need it and i said typical classic nanny mcfee when you want it but don't need it oh my god forehead sticks galore but when i need it but don't want it it's fucking it's not fucking that nanny mcfee is gone yeah so literally classic it's a nanny mcfee it's a nanny mcfee copyright no copyright guys you heard it here first i tell you what else is a nanny mcfee tampon oh my god tampons are such a nanny McPhee. When you need it, it's genuinely fucking, no, no, when you need it. Oh, when you need it, none. None.

None, no. When you don't, they're literally smiling at you. I literally wake up, see tampons. Like, bobby pins. I literally roll over, what a mirror. I'm like, whoop. Yeah, there it is. You know, bobby pins.

Bobby pins. They're such a nanny McPhee. Bobby pins. Never have a bobby pin when it, hair bands. Hair bands. Always a nanny McPhee. Oh my God, nanny mcfee never have a bobby pin when it hair bands hair always oh my god nanny mcfeeing let's debrief yeah okay so the topic of debrief we're gonna talk about

is ghosting okay yeah actually say it oh my god where did that come from context for ghosting yeah because i know my mom will be like what the fuck is ghosting you know when someone cuts off all online communication with someone else without any explanation at all yes so ghosting ghosting what do you think about ghosting to be honest to be honest i am not opposed to ghosting okay in when the commitment yeah yeah when girls do it but when guys yeah i i think if it's really low commitment so say you go on a date with a guy and don't want to see him again and you don't want to speak to him like ghost him yeah yeah i don't

think that's that deep like it's a bit shit but also like protect your peace yeah okay however in the case of people who get ghosted, like, in relationships, like, I've seen, I've heard of people getting ghosted, like, they're in a year relationship and then they get ghosted. That's despicable. Like, that's fucking, because you owe that person an explanation. Not to say you don't owe the date person an explanation. However, you don't really know each other at all.

Yeah. Like, really don't know each other at all. Yeah, okay. Especially with online dating like it's such a like fast turnover that it literally is like water off a duck's back like if you're not hearing back from people yeah i think i also think personally that people are online dating is so difficult because you get no feedback whatsoever no and then when you get fucking ghosted that's so brutal without any explanation at all you know whereas someone could literally just and and for for that individual they could take it so personally so they ghosted me which

then makes them feel this is all hypothetical and definitely how you should not feel if you're being ghosted yeah could possibly make someone feel okay they're not attracted to me okay i'm not i'm my personality isn't good enough yeah they give all of these people thing when someone literally on the other end of the phone could literally just be going through something else yeah or just think oh i was just having a bit of fun i am really attracted to you are really funny but i was just having some fun that kind of fucks me off i'm like why can't you just explain yourself i think it's worse if you um like if you get with someone or like if you shag the person say it's the first date and you shag on the first date

and then they ghost you like that's shitty yeah like if if you've gone through the effort to shag that person it literally takes two seconds to write a text to be like had fun but this isn't for me yeah like but i feel like when it's like really really low commitment it is shitty i don't think it's the right thing to do yeah i think it's something that is like it's just in my opinion it is the kind of cowardly way out and this is coming from me because i've done that it's just because i don't i don't want the uncomfortable conversation yeah yeah even though it's literally just one text and they could ignore that yeah you know no i do i completely agree i'm well i've just been talking now i've something has come to me of when i've been ghosted. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, literally.

I know you said earlier I've been ghosted. I was like, I don't think I've ever been ghosted, but I have. Yeah. But it was by a friend. Oh. Yeah, mad. Oh. It was actually mad.

Oh, my God. It was a guy. It was a guy. Yeah. But I thought we were good friends. And, you know, we'd text every single day. Yeah. And we were really close and all of that.

Anyway, I told him that I started seeing this guy, fine. And then I also told him like updates and stuff. And I told him that now we're official, we're boyfriend and girlfriend. He texted me saying, so he's your boyfriend? I said, yes, he blocked me. He blocked away. And I was so confused. So then I tried to text him, didn't work.

So then I tried other methods. I was blocked on everything. Never heard from him since. You're kidding. No, never heard from him. Well, he clearly wanted a bit of Miss McNail. But that's what I think. But why not fucking communicate that?

Why not just be like, actually, that's shame, because shame because i really like you yes and i'm not being funny but if it was me the other way around if i was burning for this person i'm yearning like yeah every little blood cell was like jiggling around you'd have to do it i i would be like i'm i fucking want you yeah why i i and that's more hot than just blocking for me i'd be not that i was interested in this person anyway but for me i'd be like i feel like that's more seize the day yeah that's more like i've got one life to live let me shoot my shot yeah because then he'll never know never know never know at all so let me tell you yeah um percentages yes of men and women that admitted to um ghosting people so what do you think the

percentage of men men ghosting women men ghosting women admitted admitted to ghosting women i think it's going to be pretty high i would say like 55 percent 44 44 yeah i thought well done for them admitting they ghosted but the amount of people that were yeah i thought that's a lot fucking higher and women uh 47 so actually women admitted more ghosting men but apparently the percentage of who goes more men or women is men yeah that's fair i think it's a really difficult one because the situations it again like i said if i was in a committed relationship with a guy and I woke up one day and they just blocked me on everything, stopped responding.

What? What? But genuinely. But no, no, but what you doing that for? Like that's what you doing? That's really silly. One thing I will say though is arguably, and I'm not condoning it,

it almost makes it easier in the sense that not easier i guess but it's literally just like oh you've cut off all contact well fuck you then like yeah it's horrible because you don't get closure on the situation because you want to know the reason why but sometimes you'll never you if you're chasing a guy that's literally blocked you for no reason you you will never know why. Yeah, but toxic in me, or actually it's not toxic. I would want to know. Stop.

Stop that. Why are you ghosting me? But then you look like the mug. Yes. Because then you're chasing them. You're chasing them. Like, why have you blocked me? Why have you blocked me?

That's embarrassing. Because if they. That's so embarrassing for me if they want to ghost you let them because you don't want to be with someone who's going to do that to you anyway if they're doing that six months down the line what the fuck are they doing two years down the line if you stayed with them yeah why are you doing that honestly like it is it is a brutal thing but in the long run it is a blessing because that person clearly is really shit yeah completely and you're not meant to be with someone who could literally discard you that quickly especially if you're ghosting in relationships if i'm with someone who's not understanding what i'm

saying and this is probably from a relationship it wasn't toxic let's not go that far but it was a relationship where we were not seeing eye to eye at all yeah i had to completely just not communicate because i was like whatever i'm communicating with you you're not listening so then i would have to like for a few days just not text back and that comes from an immature relationship that comes from a relationship not being right however i do kind of when people are like they just weren't understanding so i cut it off i'm like fair the thing is i'm like what else were you to do because i don't the situation in which i ghost again i say ghosted i'm kind of like yeah tell me about yours so i went on this is the only hinge date i've ever been on um this is not a sponsorship for hinge far from it um i was chatting to a guy literally

i don't know if anyone else thinks it's the pits i personally think it is the pets katie i i would hear about this daily with page oh she hates i hate it um i have i i was chatting to this guy he was being really flirty over text like really really flirty said we're gonna go for drinks we went to this um pub i will say again i did pay for my own drinks okay which is fine which is fine fine fine like like i'm a modern woman like i just i thought i thought some of it would be like oh let me get you a drink he's like well you're not paying though i'm like right like i'm taking that personally really personally um but this job genuinely felt that no this date genuinely felt like a job interview yeah so he opens with me asking to guess his ethnicity my sense of geography given the fact

i thought vienna the language of vienna was viennese i think he was barking up the wrong tree like i was literally like i'm really sorry and i was literally like i'm really sorry i could possibly offend you here because my geography shit what the fuck why are you asking it's like going on a date and saying guess how much away go on oh yeah like that's how much away seriously go on guess guess guess literally why the fuck would you say that it was like all you're gonna do is offend or be offensive it was so bad and he was literally like and i was like oh i'm like spanish he's like everyone thinks spanish but you're wrong and then he genuinely he's like lo siento he's like i'm sorry he's like translating there because i'm bilingual yeah yeah yeah for the listeners yeah yeah yeah yeah he was just so intense and then the second

thing because this is something that our friends will never let me forget is he said oh um so how would you describe your personal style oh god i panicked i panicked i said i love like lounge work like comfy clothes comfy clothes oh my god the shit we gave you. I'm literally like... So what's your style, you know? Loony. You know, boho chic, or are you a bit more like a Zara gal? And she's like, loungewear. Pajamas. I love pajamas.

I genuinely was panicking so much. You are just so funny. He put me under the spot and then was literally like, you know... But then he starts waffling on and then basically he's like oh yeah so like um i because he's just started he was like a finance guy um and he was of course he was he was like yeah sorry dad yeah you're the best out there not you fraser not you you're the only good one out there genuinely he was like oh yeah yeah well like um i i really love stuff from like Massimo Dutti

and stuff like that. And I'm like, oh, okay, like nice. He's like, yeah, I love chinos. And genuinely like guys, he was 100% serious. I did not misread any tone when he said this. He starts going, yeah, like I've seen like, I've started wearing this like one piece that I see a lot of people wearing.

And like, ever since I've started this new job at my new farm, like I've seen loads of people wearing it like i hate to say i created it but like honestly i think i've started a trend like i can't lie to you and i was like oh really and he was like yeah have you ever heard of a gilet wow a g i'm like well fucking of course of course i've heard of a gilet you silly man you stupid you stupid stupid stupid like no no no like not no what's that no like i genuinely i was baffled then i was sat there like i think i was there an hour maybe less oh my god okay and i was like i've gotta go yeah i've gotta go okay then he messaged me the next day to be but it was really awkward because we were both walking back the same way

bit rude because i i honestly don't think i was my best self nor was he you know like i'm not saying he fumbled such a great gal i don't think i was showing the full katie leach experience on that day um but he left he was like, we'll buy and then left. And I was like, no, I gave him a hug and said thanks for a lovely evening. And then we were walking the same way. So then I was like, oh, he's like, oh, you this way? I'm like, no, no, no, I'm up here.

And then walked about 15 minutes in the other direction to then turn around and walk back the same way. Because I didn't want to walk back with him. Oh, bless you. So I was like, oh, I'm up here and I wasn't you weren't so i literally like liar um but he messaged me the next day to be like thanks for a which again i'm so confused by because i'm like both of us thought this didn't like i thought we both thought this wasn't good yeah um and we literally messaged me being like oh i would love to do it again and i didn't respond which was which was silly of me I should I

maybe should like it takes five seconds to be like oh sorry I'm not interested but I was like yeah I get that like and I also think it's a pretty quick way of being like communicating that you're not interested at all i think the fact that you had no obligation to explain yourself is not too bad he wasn't my boyfriend i would love to know whether people are like no fucking hell why didn't you just say i'm not interested i feel like what is the what do you think i think you should is on ghosting to be honest if i went on a date and i thought it went really well and he never responded again i would be a bit upset like i because again like i've met this man for an hour of my life yeah

what the fuck like he doesn't know me i don't really know him all i know is his ethnicity and the fact he likes giles what the fuck so yeah i don't i don't like yeah he's not your long lost love like you kind of no ties quickly i just think when there's more commitment into it you stop you owe that person an explanation not to say i didn't think i owed him an explanation i think i did but i wasn't like losing sleep over the fact i didn't respond yeah yeah fine i was like you were just avoiding to be fair yeah i was just a bit and that's what ghosting is it's avoiding getting any like i didn't want the difficult conversation difficulty okay so hear this so one so a girl wrote into the debrief yeah she said hello girlies which was very sweet and she said hey girl podcast i was like do you hey girl i was like but how much you're liking more

now with this funky sound setup yeah she says she was in a relationship for two years with this guy. Okay. They got on really well. Yeah. And that they both lived in London. Yeah. But they weren't together. Sorry, they weren't living together.

Okay. So one of them lived south London, one of them lived east London, whatever. Right, okay. But they were together for two years. Yeah. Really close. they've been on holidays together um she was seeing them 26 and 28 okay so good age difference yeah good good age gap he was the older one 28 she was 26 they've been seeing each other obviously since she was

24 so quite like good time yeah good time in your life um she was now turning 27 and she thought okay i'm thinking about like yeah moving in well yeah this is quite a big step um gets that point isn't it exciting yeah anyway she she spoke to him about it and said look i really want to move in with you um and he agreed he said yeah let's do it this exciting, I'm 28, let's get a place together. So anyway, they started looking, and she sets up these places, they're looking for different flats, she sets up these viewings for the flats,

and she texts him the details, and anyway, texts him, let's meet here for this place, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She also prefaced that he was in full-time work, she wasn't at the time okay i think she was doing like a whatever maybe she was a student yeah but she said he was in full-time work so that's why she organized them right because he didn't really have the time i was like fair enough good lady yeah good woman um she organized these she says sends them the details for different days

different places and she says right let's go to this place she's traveling for where she's going he's traveling from where he's going anyway she arrives and he doesn't turn up and she's like okay you know maybe there's something came up at work blah blah so she just looks around herself takes videos for him yeah and cracks on yeah afterwards tries to contact with him and she's blocked blocked she's blocked she's blocked she tries to yeah she tries to send him these videos they're like she can't send them she's like what she can't call she can't call him she said this is making quite a lot she said i use the medieval methods of snapchat she said i couldn't even contact him he went around He went around everywhere. I was like, the fact you've been blocked on Snapchat is bad.

I was like, that's really fucking bad. That's bad. Two and a half, why are you not just telling her you're not ready to move in? Did they ever message? Did they, like, have they been in contact since? No. Oh my God.

Yeah. That's fucking cruel. That's really cruel. The fact she went to that viewing alone i know and the thing that the thing that's getting me is like if arch didn't turn up i wouldn't be like oh he just doesn't want to be with me yeah you do i mean i just bless him like he's clearly in traffic i'll just store you know fucking district line you know what it's like i've just you know delays i'd not expect to go on my phone and be like i'll never see you again you'll never

see me again what why not tell katie why are you not just saying i'm not ready to move in genuinely i'm not ready to move in but then it must have been more not ready to move in it must have when she was thinking i'm one of group move in it made me think he must have been like oh no no no but what i don't get is like maybe felt maybe you feel pressured on the spot but genuinely like a two-year relationship two years oh my god that's horrible no one deserves that two years that's so bad that's really bad so slimy it is really slimy and it's really gutless and you know what it's so gutless it's so spineless going back to one of our things last week is not doing things with your chest oh oh a lot of things would be i can't although it would

been really painful to be like no i don't want to move in with you because it's crunch time at that point if he doesn't want to move in it's like well then you clearly don't want to progress this any further yeah you don't want to do it it's the same with if someone rejects your proposal like yeah you're gonna have to break up because if you're not gonna get married like or if you don't see a future with that person then what like what are you doing and and you know what the issue is not that they weren't right for each other because thank goodness yeah like although this is really hard for you darling the girl that wrote in yeah thank goodness he did go oh because he wasn't right for you what however this is not the issue the fact that they didn't work out yeah the issue is that he went about it so fucking shit yeah just contact her or meet up you about to

move in together you've been together two years that's horrible come on that ultimately in the long run it will be the best thing that has happened to you yeah like genuinely when like what is it they take themselves out let yourself out yeah yeah but that is a really cruel way to go about it it's almost like having to, and the worst thing is, is that because you'll get no explanation from that, you have to then come up with the explanation yourself, which is horrible because then you start focusing on everything.

Like I've had a breakup where they couldn't really give me an answer as to why. And you want to know and you want the closures to be like, I just want to know a reason why. Why am I not right? Sometimes there's not a reason. why am i not right sometimes there's not a reason yeah but also that made me go fucking insane because i was like well it must be me

because of x y z and all that and i just like attacked myself rather than the fact that it could be a them thing yes completely when really they could have said look i'm not ready at all so if i said give you darling is to you did nothing wrong no you didn't do anything wrong in this situation this was all him not communicating his feelings and what he felt ready for and the issue isn't that he wasn't ready the issue is that he went about it shit um so i hope you're dating someone new or that you're single pringling oh i'm just enjoying life yeah healing era we're heading into the cozy weather yeah exactly say that in a heat wave fucking heat wave um but healing era no better company is than your own

love it i tell myself that every day every day every day one of our friends male friends really close friends, we were talking to him and we said, what are things that you really want to know about women? Like, what would you really, really, really, really want to know? Yeah. And instantly, yeah, do women fake orgasms? That was the real... I mean, classic men, sex on the mind.

Classic. Classic men, sex on the mind. So it did make us both laugh but we did think it was a good combo i agree because i personally so i'm gonna give you some statistics oh fuck let me guess okay are you saying how many women admit how many women admit to faking an orgasm okay i'm gonna say do you know what i think it's pretty high i'm gonna say 60 percent you're a mug oh go on 80 percent of women fuck off fuck off that's so high have admitted and did you want to guess so i looked up the majority of men as well who have admitted to faking an orgasm oh my god oh my god um slower yeah um yeah i bet it is um okay yeah i'm gonna say 40 percent

it's 31 interesting but i thought it was interesting because 80 of women at the end of the day men like they're like you will know when a man has orgasmed well yeah like you it's pretty hard to miss yeah it's it's pretty hard so they also do that fucking body shake don't don't like why do they do that like maybe it's just they're like what's going on a little little mr tenness getting all hard or something but but i i genuinely but i don't know about this is a good question to ask men if they can actually feel when a woman is orgasming because you can do it multiple times during sex i don't think they'd be able to feel as orgasm. Orgamishing?

Orgamishing. I don't think they'd be able to feel as orgasming, but I think they'd be able to feel as cum. Yes. Yeah. I think, I think it's interesting because, do you know what this is?

Is that 80, 80% of women not wanting to make their partners or the guy they're sleeping with feel bad yeah that's so do you know what bless you do you know what this is so significant actually because i read a play on the plane yeah the other day and it was actually about these two women in a lesbian relationship okay and at the time they weren't lesbians they were with different men they were with men and they were talking about it and there was this one girl who was sex obsessed and this other girl yeah um who was just in a relationship kind of for the sake

of it and anyway they were talking about sex and the one who was just in the relationship for the sake of it was saying how she hates having sex she says i love my partner but i fucking hate it she says sex is for men sex is not for women sex is for men because she says i have no pleasure out of it then the other woman whose sex marriage says he's not doing it right well yeah and you know what i thought fucking bang on because i have had a conversation after conversation with some of my fucking friends yes you know who i'm talking about yeah he said to me they have never come from a man and they have never had an orgasm from a man. I'm like, darling. Teach him.

Teach him. There's no shame. There's no shame in teaching them. There's nothing. Because I'm not shitting on men right now. I'm not shitting. But women, we are like fucking pinball machines. Every single woman is different.

There's a new fucking maze. Do you know what I would say as well? It's such a thing yeah i feel like i don't know again like i'm not a guy i can't but i feel like guys it excluding the fact that when like when they're like 10 beers deep or whatever yeah i feel like it's quite easy for a guy to just orgasm yeah like yeah they can't like if their minds kind of like if they're distracted or something that doesn't really like they still can but if i mean we even asked our friend like have you been able to come or orgasm to someone that you've had sex with it's not really your type and they're like oh yeah yeah like i could come or that scares me someone who i'm not even interested that scares me that really scares me so you do that tremble

for nothing for now for this i feel like but with again i can't speak for all girls but for me personally like you really like your mind has you have to be in it yeah like you have to be really focused like not focused focused like but no like but you have to be present you do i'm not lying there thinking watching something on tv next no no no no no otherwise that's just not gonna happen no no personally i think i think women should be, because 80% of women saying that they faked an orgasm either tells me, one, they want it over and done with. Yes.

Well, that's it. Okay, crack on now. Let me get myself ready for the day. Yeah. Or they want to make their partner happy. That's the thing. I understand that, darling. I understand it.

But no shame. You should just say it. Grab their hand and show them that you like it more like this ask and ask there's no shame in it there's absolutely no shame man this is to all boys out there there's no shame in being like what you like because girls girls love that shit and girls this is now your chance to be honest don't be a pick me and be like, I just love riding you for six hours. You know? Okay. You also want your turn.

Yeah. You know, so you say, I like it gentle. Or, you know, actually I get more stimulation from the gooch. You say what you fucking want, girls. Come on. Embrace the gooch. Embrace it. Yeah, I feel like it's just one of those things that.

This whole sex for men is not right. And it can be quite sexy. It's very sexy. Like, I think it's really sexy if a guy asks you like, oh, how do you like it's just one of those things this whole sex for men is not right and it can be quite sexy it's very like i think it's really sexy if a guy asks you like oh how do you like it what do you want what do you want me to do that's so sexy yeah i just feel like it's one of those things that there should be no shame and i also think humble man if they say oh did you come say no say no say no say no no no no say no say no don't don't worry about because again like that's also more sexy because then that will like the guy will go fucking insane so hard and then it will be try anything to make you come genuinely they will try anything and look i'm not saying they say to you come you say not even close to it like don't be don't ruin it come on like they'll ghost you after that

this is why they do it like did you like not after that monstrosity but you can say did you come and just be like oh no i didn't you know and they're fine okay so your answer my friend is yes women do fake orgasms do. And I think the reason why is for two reasons. If you're not into it, you've got nothing to protect. No, exactly. You've got no one to fucking protect. If you're not fucking into that, into having sex with this guy, and you're not interested in him, don't fake it.

If he's a shit shag, let him know. Let him. Let him know. Girls are so emotionally driven i mean we talk all the time with porn and kind of stuff that personally i feel girls yeah girls watch porn of course they do yeah but i think girls also are very situational and will think of things like, oh, imagine this happening. Whereas boys are very, what's the word? Visual. So they kind of need visual stimulation.

And that's fine. And so are girls. This is very generalization. However, I think sometimes girls do moan to kind of convince themselves that they're almost there and that they're kind of getting there. Because I tell you boys, it's a long process.

To crack the code, the Da Vinci code, which is in between a woman's legs, is to understand them. Yes! Fuck me! Oh my God, Katie! Fuck me! Oh my God.

You've done it. Oh my God. You've cracked the Da Vinci code. So chin up, Kings. Okay, chin up, Kings. We can do that. Work harder. Yeah.

Yeah, work harder, play harder. Work harder. Icks. Icks. Yeah. Ready? Yeah. I'm going to ping pong you.

You can go first. Okay, thanks girl. My ick this week, and it's's just been it's been happening all week um and i'm genuinely like i wish no one to fake it to if you have on your own yeah yeah i'm a lonely bedfellow. I would say my ick is people who constantly have to one-up you in social situations. Fuck me. Oh my God.

This makes my punani angry. No, it makes my little pussington growl. I am genuinely like, I'm at the end of my death i every single thing i have said in conversation with this person has been either i'd be like oh i'd love to go there oh you haven't been there don't go there it's shit or when i'm genuinely think they've never been themselves. Oh, they're idiots. Or me being like, oh, like, I've been to Paris. Oh, my God, like, I've been to Paris, Berlin, and Greece, all in five sittings.

I'm going to hit you. I'm going to fucking hit you. I'm like, oh, okay. Like, it's genuinely, it feels malicious, and it feels personal. There's nothing worse than a topper. Why are you topping me? It's like, oh, I'm really excited.

I'm going to do this. Oh, I've done that. It's not that great. Oh. Anything that I've showed any excitement towards, they're literally just like, why?

Shitting on it. It is the ick. It is the actual ick. It's icking me out. It's the friendship ick. It's the relationship ick. It's so annoying. Okay.

My ick is when someone tells a joke but no one hears they have to say it to us oh my god oh my god all up for dinner like a few weeks ago was it last week oh my god was the mexican last week that gorgeous dinner we had fuck yeah yeah so we all went out in a big group like for dinns and all sat around and we just like chatting and because we were at a long table and I was about six of us we were in like kind of pairs like opposite one another so the other end of the table I couldn't really hear and anyway our friend like makes a joke and no one hears because we're all in conversation that they're like I hear the end of this sentence and

he's like and I see him like rearing out to say yeah and then he's like oh but how about when they're and i'm just like oh it's so embarrassing yeah but it's embarrassing it's like they have to think do i say it again to get the good laugh and the worst thing about it is one of us heard like arch heard him say it so i was just like an arch of course wound him up he said he tries he said he tries he said he tries oh it's when you say a joke yeah no one hears except one person they say the joke and everyone finds it fucking hilarious they repeat it no no that's this has happened to me in my life so many fucking times where i say something i'm like fucking michael mcintyre yeah someone hears they don't react to it repeat my

joke and everyone's like you're hilarious oh my god how funny you'd be livid wouldn't you my fucking puss was twitching my butt cheeks were quivering i'm literally like my steam yeah out my ears i'm like guys livers red face i felt like always always always red face question time question time question would you doubt whether they are right for you so your boyfriend or your girlfriend yeah if you didn't get butterflies yes yes would it be a deal breaker deal breaker i'm not sure okay let me give you the picture no no actually yeah i think it would let me give you the picture no no actually yeah i think it would let me give you the picture he's six foot two tanned great bod yeah earns a fuck ton of money

um treats you like a princess great in the fucking sack does make you orgasm you don't have to fake it yes um never goes to see you ever like compliments you he's great with your fam your fam love him you're sexually attracted to him but you're emotionally attracted to him he provides for you but he also lets you be independent he's amazing but you just never get butterflies i never do you never you've never got butterflies ever it'd be more of an issue for me if he didn't no actually no it would be an issue for me if i didn't i feel like butterflies are so exciting because it's a sign that you're nervous you want to make someone nervous you want someone to be like oh fuck you're making me really nervous i'm really overwhelmed like it's sweet because they

they clearly care about you and you're kind of like you don't want someone to be quivering at you know your existence like i don't want someone to be scared of me no but i want someone to be like nervous shows you care it does because you don't want to say the wrong thing and you don't want to do the wrong thing especially in that early stages you know and if you're like the touch barrier hasn't like not been broken you're like oh can i can't i oh god fuck i'm nervous and like when they do kind of like touch you or like put their hand on your thigh and it's just like electric like butterflies and it's not even when i say the butterflies i'm not even saying sexual

butterflies i think the emotional butterflies are in your tummy and it almost makes you want to vomit you just feel it oh and you're like oh my gosh you are just igniting every single cell in my body yeah um and you didn't get that you never got it with him i think it's so sweet and i think butterflies are a sign that you're on the right track. When your stomach drops as well. And it's like, oh! Oh my God, I feel sick. Oh my God.

And it's just so exciting. If I didn't, I could deal with maybe not having the butterflies like every day in the depths of a relationship. Okay. But like in the beginning, they have to be there. Yeah. Because if I'm not nervous, then I don't care enough yeah yeah yeah 100 do you agree 100 absolutely no way and and i think i would say this because arch now i had two and a half years in and he gives me butterflies okay your guy silly question i have five items of clothing yeah i want you to tell me how they'd say hello

oh fuck okay yeah okay so the first one shoes now can i ask do i get is it like an impulse thing like do you tell me and i just impulsively like say how would they say i'll give you i'll give you a bit or do you give me them all and then i think um no i'll give you we'll do one and one okay yeah so shoes how do you think they'd say hello i need to kind of get into the character hello like that like that that was perfect yeah yeah that's perfect great um the next jeans jeans jeans are kind of like hey yeah jeans are just kind of like jeans are like yeah i think kind of breathy jeans hey okay the next one would be a skirt oh oh maybe kind of like a higher higher kind of like that higher higher yes yeah yeah hi yeah kind of like that hi yeah hi yeah yes yeah yeah yeah yeah that was very yeah that was very scott okay okay um a top top yeah can i just uh hey i have that exact one as well i just

thought that yeah yeah we're on the same mind thanks to round it all off, a jumper. Okay, okay, okay. That's quite encompassing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you all right? Yeah, it's kind of like a... Hello. Almost like you're kind of... Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello.

Hello. Hey, hey, hey. It's so obvious. It's like, hello. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Love it.

That was a fucking brilliant... Love it. Debriefers. It's the end of the week. No, it's not. No, hello. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. That was a fucking brilliant question. Love it. Debriefers. It's the end of the week. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's fucking Monday. It's the start of the week.

It's the start of the week. Wishful thinking. I'm like, it's Friday. You're like, right. We'll never see you again. Have a good weekend. Oh, right. Guys.

We finished debriefing. Yes. We want to say that we love you we do and have a great week have a brilliant week go through your week as a skirt don't don't be fucking jeans don't don't hey no don't put that effort in don't let's be a skirt yeah let's um not fucking ghost unless you've got a great reason and write in. Yes. Let's not fake an orgasm. No,

let's stop that nonsense. Let's teach them what they want. Yes. Yes. Right guys, have a great week. Have a great week guys. It's Monday.

And sing them out with your song, Katie. That's the way. Uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it. Uh-huh,

uh-huh.