The Debrief - Ghosts Of Christmas Past | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Welcome back to The Debrief!This week were are talking about those exes who 'merry christmas' their way back into ours lives... As always DM us @the.debriefpodcast or email us: [e-mail] with any debriefs or dilemmas 🫶🏻Happy December!Lots of love,K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul Welcome to the deep brief Are you? Are you? Now, what date will this be? This is going to come out on the... Twenty second?

No, I got my dates right. The eight. The eighth. The eighth. I said I don't. Okay, how lovely. No, pre-McNeil Suarez.

Pre-McNeil, pre-McNeil, pre-M-Ale, pre-M-Ale. He's get my outfit for that. Gorgeous, me too. I need to show you my New Year's dress. It just came in the post. Arch told me, so I do need to see that. I do need to give approval. Just derived.

Can you, even if you have a great New Year's, can you tell me it was shit? It'll be, because I wasn't there. It'll be dreadful. Because the fact that I'm not going to be with my best friend on New Year's, I could cry. No, I'm but I could cry. It's all for a very good reason. for a very good reason. But you have to reassure me that on the first we'll have time together.

Oh, yeah. Okay, great. Big time. Fine, fine, fine. Yeah. Not needy or anything. No, no, not needed. Never, never.

Would you like to tell me your mantra for sweet, my love. My mantra is, I'm that girl. Oh. It's all in the delivery. I'm that girl. Don't worry about it. I'm that girl. And whose definition, that girl?

What is that girl? She's just someone. who's got her life like she meal preps her lunch oh shit that's a different kind of adult she makes coffee at home it's in a travel mug stop that is a different kind of adult she doesn't you know when I was that at home mother woke me up with a matcher it was so justine coded I need to oh my it's so most mother woke me up at nine lion love okay then open the windows good morning my darling she brought me a mattress she makes her own matches she says I know you like morning

And she made me a Christmas snatcher, so it had some cinnamon in. She's amazing. She's amazing. I love her. But you're that girl. I'm like, Eileen's that girl. Oh, Eileen is that girl. When I think of that girl, that's Eileen.

You called your mom. That bitch. I'm not. I'm a bitch. I'm like, that's the best story. I'm like, no, no, but I'm like, it's like Diva. That is the best story I've ever told me. My match for this week is treat you herself.

Oh, my God. Do you watch Parks and Recreation? No, I don't. No, I only said it like that because I've heard it been said like that. Yeah. You would love Parks and Recreation. It's very funny. Is it a sitcom?

Yeah. Treat yourself 2011. Oh, I need to see. Yeah. Treat yourself. It's like Rupall. I need to see that. And it's like Gavin and Stacey.

I need to see that. Rupol's high on my leg. What would I prefer, RuPaul or Gavon and Stacey say? I think you like the drama of Rupal. Really? RuPaul's drama Like Gavin and Stacey's funny Okay, okay

But I think we need to wait When the boys are away And then I will I will indoctrinate you Into the RuPaul's drag race Okay You know what to show you We'd have a weekend away

Yes We'll go to the Cotswolds or something That's the weekend That's when drag race Yeah Treat yourself I'm like, come on bitches It's Christmas

We're not having any diets No Why I want to see every bitch With a hot chocolate With the cream up to their nose and thousands of Marchies on it. Living their best life,

cheese of chips. Cheezer chips. I want people to be like, it's Christmas, who gives the fuck? Exactly. I completely agree. Exactly. If everyone's like,

oh, I probably shouldn't. You shouldn't in January. Shouldn't in January? If I see you having that in January, I'll be like, whoa. Whoa. But in December, double it.

Double it. Double it. Yes. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. Tell me a song. So my song this week is, you're here.

where you should be. Snow is fun as the girl's sing. Just wasn't the same. Underneath the tray, Kelly Clarkson. Oh, I love that song. I forgot about that one. Obsessed. Oh, mine's actually a similar.

Santa baby. Oh. Ariana Grande. Her EP. Did you see her in Kelly? Kelly. Her EP, Christmas and Chill. It's a bit of a relic.

I feel like, I'm not even trying to be like, no one ever knows it but I'm like you're you're ahead of the times ahead of the times ahead of the times but like it's like a Christmas EEP that I listen to every single year and I always wonder I'm like is anyone else listening to Ariana Grande's Christmas and chill and if they're not they're dicker because it's so good it's actually so good I love a Christmas song I love a Christmas song love it so much yes so damn much so damn much This week, Vanderpump Villa. I have never watched so much good reality TV in the span of a week.

Vanderpump Villa on Disney. Oh. Is it my holy moly mother of God? I need to see this because I know, I've heard so much about Vanderpump rules. And there's loads of Vanderpump, like, I've seen the name chucked around. I have no clue where to start with it. So I know there's multiple. Yes.

van derpump villa Lisa van derpum the legend herself a chateau in France and a castle in Italy I got it oh she's incredible and she has servers cooks house staff bar staff events all working at these places and it's the drama that happens in my deck but in my fillers oh I see and within this the secret lives of normal wives coon to visit oh my god because they always every week they have new guests come oh my god so either they'll get with the gas they might sleep with them or kiss them or they'll like argue and then it's like really bad people that fight like it is just sensational

there's this guy called Marciano what's her name de me and Marciano have this thing there's a rumour going around that obviously she's married to Brett and it's like oh my god she got with him there and all the girls are like yeah I think she did like there was a weird vibe all of that she then comes out and says

he sexually assaulted me I never did anything Lisa has come out with a TikTok from yesterday saying honey bunny we have cameras No. That's all I'm going to say. She says, we have cameras. Lisa, drop the footage.

Drop the footage, Lisa. It is the best reality TV I have seen other than the Kardashians. That's insane. I am, Katie, if you need something over Christmas while your family's napping. Yeah. Oh, I'm on it. I wouldn't watch it on the family TV

because they might think it's graphic. Yeah. But watch it on your iPad. Oh, my God. I'm on it. Katie, I'm telling you. And it's like episodes that you You could just get through while cooking or while scrolling on TikTok while wrapping presents. Oh my God, this is so good.

Okay. And I need to, I need you to watch it because then I can ask you what you think of the characters. Yeah, I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. Let's debrief. So, this week on the debrief, we are talking all about ghosts of Christmas past. Tell me.

Oh my God. Those ex besties, flings and loves of your life who keep cropping. up around Christmas time. Oh my God, no way. Because there's a song, Maisie Peters wrote that is like, I'm so glad you didn't Happy New Year your way back into my life. You know when people like reach out and they're like, Merry Christmas. Happy Christmas. What are you doing? What are you bloody doing? So my first question is, what is the best story you have of someone who you thought was left in the past reaching back out around this time of year?

Wow. I have a very good one. Like a very good one. So my ex-boyfriend. I'm like, where do I start with this? My ex-boyfriend, yes, has joined to fight in the wall. In the wall. You know, what's going on in Russia and all that kind of stuff. So admirable. Yeah. I'm not in contact with him, so I don't know.

And you also haven't been four years. Four, four, five years since Arch and I got together. And this was recent. When Arch and I got together, for the first few weeks, I would say we were still in contact because it was quite, you know, raw and all that kind of stuff. But it was, how are you, are you all, like, you're all good and all that kind of stuff? Then a week after, it was like, okay, like, I've realised I am in a relationship with someone else, so I don't think it's appropriate.

Yeah. Contact. Yeah. I was told, I'm not going to go into details, but I was told that he has left a letter for me in case anything happens. And I was told around this time of the year. That is an eye. There's so much of me that has so much admiration of what he is doing. I'm like, wow, to be able to have the bravery and the strength and to be able to make so

many sacrifices. Yeah. But that's probably my, my biggest story, I would say, on this topic. I've bequeathed you a letter. I've bequeathed you a letter. Yes. That's power pus. That's power pus.

That's what I'm saying. That's my letter to. You've had an ex-boyfriend gagging to see you for years after the fact. Power Puss. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he will never forget Little Miss Lady. No, he's like, she's amazing.

He will never ever forget. Do you have one? Do you have anyone that's popped up, like a friend or like that's tried to say New Year or like Merry Christmas or happy birthday or like Christmas? Christmas time? Not really. No. No, yeah. I feel like, no.

I feel like it's very boyfriend or exy to do. Yeah. Like I don't really, in my opinion anyway, friendships. I feel like friendship. There's more birthday. Yeah, like happy birthday. And you're like, oh. And you're like, okay.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? A hundred percent. Yeah. So, surveys have found that around one in ten people are contacted by an X at Christmas and a similar percentage admit to being the one to reach out. Okay. I personally, I think I'd be the reacher out.

Imagine me. A couple more wines deep watching Mickey's twice upon a Christmas like, fuck. Stop it. Stop it. Mickey's twice a Christmas. Yeah. Going to bed by myself, why not I just throw out a cheeky story like. But you know what?

I think there's nothing bad in reminiscing. There's no nostalgia's my best day. When you're single and they're single, why not? It's Christmas. Literally, love could be so easy. It's time of the year. It's my favourite other than summer. Yeah.

I would say they're on par how magical Christmas is. Yeah, I love Christmas. When it snowed in London last week, I was like, it was amazing. This is the best thing that's happened to me for years. It was amazing. It was amazing. And even then I was like,

Mummy at Snowd, she was like, I wouldn't say it's snowed. I'm like, I'd say little things time day. And I was like, I know Mummy, but it's Snowed. It's snowed. Snowd came down. So the holiday season can make people very nostalgic or lonely leading them to reconnect with partners

for a variety of reasons. Yeah. So nostalgia for past relationships. Absolutely. Seeing coupley activities. You do more things coupley at Christmas, I find. Of course. Christmasy date nights.

Of course. Yeah. People aren't going out as much, you know, Because it's dark, it's cold. So what can you do with other people? You need to make plans. You know, it's not like summer where it's light until bloody 9.30. So you're like, oh, we can just sit in the garden.

You have to make plans. So then it is, or should we verbal paint? It's more intimate, I think. Yes, yes. Feeling lonely and wanting companionship, yes. Longing to be coupled up, especially in cold weather. People are like penguins. You need like a little partner.

Rather than themselves next to each other. A little companion. Just huddling more than anything to keep warm. And also. which is a good point you have more time off work bang on yeah more time to think bang on you have more down time than you would at any point in the year because no one gives you time off in the summer you either take time off or you don't exactly yeah are we ready to dilemma oh i'm ready to dolema okay yeah so hi girls bit of an awkward one here so would you love your advice love it

tell me tell me tell me me me me me me me me me this guy I started dating. We were getting on really, really well. And I was actually starting to get quite excited by him and the prospect of a relationship. Oh, exciting. We went on three dates before I brought him back to mine for a sleepover. Very respectable. Three days. You are a lay day. You're no hussy. Well, no hossies over. What do you think about that? Like, what would you feel? What would you be like, I would never, would you ever do first day? Or would you do it? Yeah. But I think that's fine. The problem is, is, is, that I'm of the mindset, that I'm like, if they want a relationship with you,

it doesn't matter whether you shag them first date, 10th date. Yeah. You know? Yeah. If they don't want a relationship with you, they will go on 10 dates with you, shag you, and leave. You are bang on. It doesn't matter. Like, they, it's completely...

You're so bang on. And I actually think it's more of a reflection on yourself. Are you confident in enough in yourself to be okay? Yeah. With the fact that if you sleep on the first day, they might say something. Yeah. And be like, and if they do,

then what is that the kind of person you want to be with? No, exactly. And also it kind of weeds it out. Like, if you shag on the first date and he doesn't get in contact with you again, you're like, okay, fine. Yeah, or shit shag.

Well, great. We're no teacher. We're no teacher. Exactly. You will not be my. You've fully got to try someone out. Try before you buy. Try it before you buy, for sure.

So, and even in the evening, brought him back to mine for a seepover, even that evening, it was great. Okay. He stayed the night, was super low. lovely and respectful. We spent all night talking and he was saying

how this is the first time he's felt excited about a girl in a long, long time. Oh, stop him. I literally, oh. No, stop it. Imagine a boy being like to you, Katie,

looking in your eyes, moving your... After shagging. In same. Yeah, titties are out and he's like looking at you and you've got the covers over you now to snuggling

because it's all cold outside and snowing. Yeah, so so. And he whisked your organ hair away from your face and he just say, And you go, what? And he just looks down and, like, laughs a little bit.

And you're thinking, why is he giggling? And he looks back up at you and he just says, I'm just feeling a certain way about you, Haiti. And you're like, what do you mean? He goes, I just haven't felt like this about any guy in a long time. And you're like, he loves snow. Oh, I'd fully be like, get down on one knee then. Yeah.

Propose. The way I'm so, like, in love with love. But any time anyone's like, I'm in love, I'm like, marry. Marry. Marriage is next. Like when I said to Archie last week, We were just sat at the sofa, nothing happening. And I just turned to him.

You were that. And I said, will I be a bride? Well, I, you know, will I be a fiancé this Christmas? And he was like, no. I was like, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I just needed to know in case, like, I needed to, you know. Because you had anything up your sleeve. Anything up your sleeve. Any tricks up your sleeve. Anything up your sleeve. No problem. I just needed to know. Yeah.

No problem. Continue with this lovely lady. Come on. So, I left feeling really, really good about how things and where things, and where things were heading. Yeah. And I told him to message when he got back. Lovely.

And then he never did. Loll? Love the use of Loll. Love the use of Lull. Besides, obviously, feeling very insecure. Oh, die. I was fuming. So I decided to message him two weeks later,

expressing my disappointment on his radio silence. Can I just say, before we move on with this, good fucking on you. Good on you. Don't always live in land of petty. No. If you are annoyed. him out.

Say it. Especially that shit that he's saying, like, I'm so excited about you. What's that about? Do you know what men do this all the time? What's that about? They almost know they're about to hit rock bottom and be mean to you.

Should they go extra nice to make themselves feel better? Yeah. Can I say, well done for not being land of petty and thinking, well, he needs to reach out to me, Rie needs to reach out to me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well done. Because what he's thinking, he's put his head in the sand

and he's like, well, she's not going to say anything. No. She has said to him, excuse me, you've been a little shit. Okay, what she said. So, yeah, expressing my disappointment on his radio science, only to find myself blocked. Oh. You are taking the piss. There are psychopaths among us.

There are psychopaths among us. So, now fast forward three months. And I find myself getting a message from him. No. Saying how he was going through things with an ex. Oh. So he blocked me so she couldn't see me on his phone. Even more suss in brackets.

He then told me that the ex is a thing of the past and now that he's ready to pick up where we left off. Oh, that's so lovely. That's really nice that you're ready. I'm so conflicted. Since his original message, we had a conversation over the phone. He was extremely apologetic.

My heart wants to give him a second chance. However, I'm just not sure. Now, listen, if this were me, I would be exactly where you are right now. I'd be like, but... Kate, you'll be like, I've invited to him over for Christmas. I have gotten me in a gift. He's coming for Christmas.

He's got a gift. And we're going on holiday. We've got monogram towels. His and her sheet. Yeah. Yeah. I understand that you want to give him a second chance. I, dare I say, maybe is it disrespectful, dare I say, meet up with him for a drink. You know what?

There is a world in which he was going through shit. And he just didn't say it. And there is a world in which he met. what three times? Okay. That could have been, not been funny, a fortnight. Exactly.

Like, how long was this for? If it was for six months, three times, poor effort. Yeah. So we're thinking three times that could be within a month. And I'm not being funny. If he knew the sex

and it was being a bit complicated and he had known her for two years, three weeks, knowing you, it doesn't come back. Yeah. Okay? So there is a world in which he's thinking, I just need to deal with something

before I get back to you. Well, how long did he say it was before he blocked her and then, Well, so she messaged him two weeks after he never texted back. And then, so she noticed after two weeks that she was blocked. So it could have been anywhere between them shagging and two weeks that he blocked her. And then when did he text her after that?

Three months later. Three months. Three months. Three months. Because I'm like, is it a month? Okay. He sorted his stuff out. Three months.

Three months. Because then I'm like, is it just Christmas? Are you horny and you're lonely? Because you're seeing everyone go to fucking winter wonderland and you realize God I had a gem. I had a gem. I had a gem in Casey Lee. In summer. And now I'd like her back.

I had a gem in summer. And now I'm feeling lonely at Christmas. So let's see what she's up to. I think you need to give advice for this. Because from a relationship point of you, I'm like, he could have been better. But what's your... Here's the thing as well, though.

If you've only known each other, if you only been on three dates, you don't know him all that well. So you don't actually owe him anything. You can easily just be like, no. But if you have a gut feeling that there was something there, I would hear him out for a drink. I would go grab a drink.

I would be like you're not coming back, I would be, and then let him talk, let him talk about how he feels and be like, listen, you're never doing that again. I'll make the decision from there. Yeah. The ball's in your court. And I also think when you're interested in someone, you're willing to forgive them. Yes. For example, things Archie's done before and same things that I've done.

Yeah. If we're done early on, we'd probably be like, oh, yeah. But because we are madly in love with each other and, you know, you just think, oh, well, it doesn't matter. Yeah. It's so minuscule. Yeah. So I think if you actually think it's worth it, then by all means we're not shagging him.

Yeah. I'd be like, I'd say go for it. But don't let it pass you by without bringing it up. Don't meet up and be like, how what have you been up to? Do you bring it up though. No, be like, hey. What was all that blocking about? What was that?

Like you didn't. Like do it bring, don't be like all loved up that he's taking you to the sky god and you're excited. Yeah, no. Don't allow that. You do need to be like. What the fuck? Do you usually want people? Yeah.

But you do need to bring it up because the ghost and behaviour is pathetic. Just be like, in my opinion. And then make him work hard. Make him work really hard. Humble him. Humble him. Humble that, man. Yeah, please do.

I agree. Yeah. Right, are we ready for... I love it. Okay. I have one. I have one. I'll ping pong you.

Thank you, darling. This is off the vein of what we've been talking about. But this is to do with presents. And I think I brought this up last year. Yeah. I can't deal when people make a thing of their present. What you mean? I give you a yo-yo.

Yeah. You've never wanted a yo-yo. Yeah. And you're there with a face like a slapped ass. It really hits me out. Oh, when they publicly comment on the present. There's an etiquette to give you. I witnessed this a few days ago.

Oh, geez. was in a work environment someone's leaving they gave them a gift that to be fair clearly showed they didn't know them it was the equivalent of giving someone a bottle of whiskey and the person's tea total

it was like do you know what I mean it was like they don't drink like it was the equivalent of that but okay the equivalent for me would be giving me a cheer batter and I'm like I'm going free

if someone gave that I wouldn't I wouldn't say Nish. I would not say Nish. I'd like, thank you, Katie. Would you love the Chia Bata? The Chia Bata? I would... I'm not how you say it. I'm usually pronounced it. Oh, is that not how you say it? Chabata.

Oh. What do you say Chia butter? What did you say? Chabata. Chabata. I thought you'd put on some fun, like, little flare. I've loved it. I've said Chia butter for 23 years. No. Is it wrong? Is it wrong?

No, maybe I'll give you some great. Because you're not gluten-inclined, are you? That's no excuse, Kate. Chabata. I should always be with it. You're just, you're trying to, like, pronounce it all for it. Giabata. That's insane.

So it's not Chia-Bata. It's Chabata. It's Chabata. I was thinking, why is she laughing? Is she laughing at the knowledge that I have? No, I thought you were doing a bit then. No, I'm laughing at you. Chabata.

Okay, so, I apologize. Let me correct. Chibata. Chabata. It would be the equivalent of that. I'm not being funny. You could give that to me and I'd be like, love it. Love it.

No, if you did, I'll be lived it. But if someone else, it, bitch, you know what I mean? The equivalent, I would, and that's why I now would look at other people and be like, don't fucking say anything. Because it doesn't fucking matter. It was the equivalent of that and the person said something. And I was like, oh, just leave it. Oh, go.

Leave it. It hits me out. I was like, and they were like, don't you know. Like, I'm like, oh, it doesn't matter. It's always hard as well. Like, I've had it before where like, people. get you, like, I've had, like, my great aunt and my auntie get me the same thing. Yeah.

And then you just don't say anything. Yeah. You're like, more lush fucking bubble bath for me. Can't wait. Fine. It's when someone goes, oh, you've already got that. Yeah. Someone got up for you, didn't they?

Why are you doing that? I feel awful now. I will actually pay along. Yeah, literally. And then I will get over the top and be like, yeah, but I love it so much. Yeah. Like, oh, I'm like, shut on. Oh, yeah, I get you.

Right, thing wrong. You ready? Yeah. When people reach out, people you haven't heard from, and they reach out and they just go, hey. I would rather, I would rather you message being like, hey, I'm so sorry. I feel like, I'm just, I would rather you send me the paragraph than just send me, hey. Completely.

Or if you want to shag me, if that hey is the you up, I'd rather they say, look, you post an Instagram story and I actually thought you looked really skinny. And I thought about the time that you sucked me off. And it made me think that I'd like to shag you. again. I'd be like, do you know what? I'd love that. I'd love the honesty. Hey, I'd do nothing with that. I'd be like, I'm ignoring you. I'd do nothing with that. But if it was like, hey, I'm thinking about you. How have you been? What are you thinking? I'd be like, my ego is so big. What are you thinking? I know, I would like to know exactly the thoughts you have been. Yeah, I'd like to know exactly

what's going on. Questions? I'm silly. And I am serious. Okay, hit me. Do you think it's ever worth reaching back out to someone that has wronged you in the past if they reach out. Do I think it's worth it? Yeah. I do because I think an apology's never gone without being appreciated. Yeah. You know, whether they think they, whether they meant to hurt someone or not. Yeah.

Why not? Yeah. For example, I will always, if I need to apologise for someone, whether they accept it or not, it's the right thing to do to say, I'm sorry about that little shit. Yeah. I think why not? Yeah, fair enough. I don't live in a world of, like, judgment and grudges.

Yeah. I'm sorry for that. They might not accept that. Do you know what? That's on them. That's okay. Yeah. My silly question, would you rather an old flame, and I'm talking old, old flame,

yeah, text you this Christmas and be like, I am madly in love with you. I would love to see you. Or someone, and I'm going to give you an example here, I'm going to say. And the example is someone. you would never have ever, ever, ever, ever expected to fancy you. Oh my God. So I'm going to say, okay, someone you'd never expect to say to you on Christmas, I am madly in love with you and I want to take you on a date for.

Old Flame. Well, I mean, if it's. In that example. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The example given to me. Yeah.

Is a gay man. Yeah. And that's. Okay. And I've spoken to him multiple times. being like, what would you do if I turned up on your door stare instead of falling in love with you? And he was like, honey?

He was like, sweetie, that's just never going to happen. Okay, so say, okay, let's not say it's the gay mom then. Say it's a man that you know that is heterosexual. But you just never thought he'd ever thought, like, not because, I mean, you're beautiful. I kind of, like. I kind of want, I kind of actually love, live for the drama of someone coming out of the woodwork.

Woodworks. How you want? Being like, I love you. I've literally not in, like, what's it called? What's the Christmas? A film where he's like, I'm just a girl. I quite look very pretty. Oh, oh, like Love Actually.

I'd love if someone love Actually. I'd love it. I'd love the drama of that, to be honest. Me too. I would, yeah. Fucking hell me too. I love it. Right, guys, we've got to the end of the app. I hope you have a fantabulous week.

Yes. We love you from ear to ear and keep on smiling. Cheap up. Keep smile with your cheer batter. With your cheer batter. Yeah, we need to do a poll on this. Bye, guys. Bye, see you.

I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul