The Debrief - Help! I’m In A Situationship… | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! This week we are discussing all things “situationship”, how we end up in them, how we deal with them & most importantly: how we get out of them. Thank you so much for sending in your dilemmas! Don’t forget to email us [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcast with any more questions or debriefs! Have a fabulous week! Lots of love,K+K x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

welcome to the db here we are another day another dollar and oh yes it is indeed and i'm in blue i love do you know what actually with your nails it gives perry the platypus from vinicius because you've got the beak and then it's exact color it does perry perry the platypus oh my god it actually does i love it i yeah i'm not sure if perry was the vibe I was going for. No, but it works. But it's happened. IMO. In my opinion. It works. RGK did this most horrific thing where they do We're near me. Yeah, oh my god.

What's the one that she does? IKR. IKR. LGAC. Let's get a coffee. Oh, I like that one. Yes. I like that Let's get a coffee. Oh, I like that one. Yes. I like that one. It's fun. Yeah, I like that one.

And you've got to think on your feet as well. Do you know what you'll say? Wait. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. It's quite hard to work out. You're quite good at doing it quickly. Thank you.

When you're in Portugal, you'll be like, GIB, guys, I'm burnt you just know that's going to be the case I know I know Katie's going to Portugal two weeks or a week

yeah and I want I'm going to be I want to see you red oh I'm going to be loves to red I just know it because also

I'm taking hand luggage thanks a lot Ryanair you stingy fucking bastard no, I'm going to be lobster red. I just know it. Because also, I'm taking hand luggage. Thanks a lot, Ryanair, you stingy fucking bastards. No. So I'm going to have to take hand luggage. So I'm not going to be able to get a big sun cream. And do you know how much the sun creams are in airports? They're so expensive. For what reason?

No reason. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, I'll just get one out there. But this happened the exact last time I went to Portugal. I did that. We were in this small little fishing village with a maximum of factor 10 and i the only thing they had was oil so i bought a tanny it was like a factor 10 oil in august in portugal oil that make it worse i'm genuine was i'm surprised i didn't bless stuff so i want to see you saying gib guys

don't burn i want to see it oh you'll see it yeah I'll give you updates gotta take care of my tootsies as well actually last time I went to Cornwall and burnt my feet

in Cornwall feet are the worst because you never think of the feet I tell you which part of the feet for me is the bottom of the feet

because I do the tanning and then I turn over and my face is down who the fuck does the bottom of their feet oh that's true who does it who would be like oh shit my feet must get the soles must get the soles no don't don't don't and then i'd always have crispy soles and i'd be like

oh and it's tight tight oh my god nothing quite like it no no but before before we go to mantras i'm gonna tell you something this week so when i was at the train station i was like well he's even the train oh well of course yeah and the train's like coming along and i just did like this and i looked and i left this man farted no i didn't give a shit and then i look again and he has his headphones in and then he goes everyone looks at this man and I'm like double take I'm telling you

he's like he didn't realise that a raccoon came out his arse no and squeaks that's the worst and squeaks

that is the worst no the worst I know it was awful Peach I was like what is that happening that's a nightmare

was he then like no oh he just got on well at least you're fearless I know I just think it was awful peach I was like what is that happening that's a nightmare was he then like ooh no oh he just got on well at least you're fearless I know I just think I thought to myself I don't think I could ever

do a fart that loud in public then just be like eh deal with it maybe he thought because this is the same

assumption I have sometimes if you let one loose in public is that everyone's got their headphones on so you think this is what Katie does in clubs so you think they is what Katie does in club so

you think they won't really hit no one can hear you I still do have you ever fought in a club and worried like no so it hasn't stank no no if I was Archie I'd be concerned if I was Archie I would be concerned for my life I've got quite a healthy healthy gut system it seems um got got it Got it all going on, ticking quite nicely. So tell me a mantra of this week, bitch. My mantra is bitch.

Tell me about it, bitch. Tell me about it, bitch. I am allowed to take things slowly. Ooh! Why are we chilling this week? Why are we setting back? I, guys, I'm on spring break. Spring break.

Spring break, bitches. That's the school battle. Yeah, and school's out for fucking spring. School's out for spring. Spring. Spring. Yeah. So I have a lot of time off now. Yeah.

And apart from Portugal and like going home, don't really have a lot of plans. I can advise you a plan. Oh, yeah. To spend time with moi. Oh, you know it. Yes. Oh, if I had my way of being, you'd let go of pocket.

I'll keep you here, actually. Right there. Perry the pacifist. I'll put you in my little yeah here we are yeah that's something you could do exactly so you're feeling these weeks you've got off your you're just needing to i'm just want to take it but i also feel like sometimes when i don't have a lot of plans i then panic that i'm not doing enough yeah i'm like oh my god like i need to make sure i'm like doing x y and z and. And I'm like, I can still actually do X, Y and Z. Yeah. In time.

Yeah. But just not to the capacity that you were doing it when you were. Yeah. Chill out, girl. Completely. I agree. And with having like six weeks off. Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with being like this week. Fuck all. I'm doing fuck all. I'm going to go to the gym. Yeah. I'm just going to chill. I'm going to catch up on netflix also we need to start baby rain yeah oh my god i actually was such a snake because i was gonna

start it a few days ago like i can't i actually can't i i would have killed you i can't do it yeah well i heard you're finishing ripley yeah yeah yeah um actually let that fun fact slip in the kitchen. I thought, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. Aye, aye, aye, Pete. He wasn't supposed to get in on Ripley. It's his fault, okay? But guys, it's so good. It's so good.

Anyways, with the six weeks off, there's nothing wrong with doing that because before you know it, you're going to be performing full on night after night after night. Then you're going to go to edinburgh to perform yeah you cannot risk for these six weeks saying i've got to keep my voice up no no you have these six weeks off so you can rest your voice maybe not for six weeks but for at

least a week and a half or chill and you know yeah i completely think that's a good idea. What's your mantra? Mine is change brings new opportunities that we haven't seen yet. Hells to the year. Hells yeah. So this week or last week had a bit of a change. Yeah. So I was trying to think, okay, change happens in life. It happens all the time, whether it's work, whether it's relationships, whether it's friendships, it changes all the time.

How do you deal with that is another thing. And I had a day of being really upset and feeling down. But then you have to pick yourself back up and be like, what are the positives here? Why is change happening? And you don't have to have an immediate answer. But it is, I think if you can reassure yourself, say everything happens for a reason. Yes yes that's quite exciting because then you're like oh so don't know what it's gonna be yet yeah what's something's coming along that i didn't know 100 you know as long as you keep focused keep your head down keep working hard then things will pop up absolutely yes and this And this week, my song of the week is Tears Dry On Their Own.

Amy. Amy. He walks away, the sun goes down, you dance the day around, and in your way, as you and me, my tears dry on their own. And we'll know why we pitched this. We'll get on to that in a second But what's yours, Peach? Mine is Thinking about me, baby, I know

That's the sweet, I guess so See, baby, I know That's the me espresso Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter It's her new single Oh, I haven't heard that I'm working late because I am a singer.

But he looks so cute right round my finger. Oh, I've got to listen to this. It's actually a little bit of a bop. I didn't like it when I first listened to it. Why? And then it just seemed a bit like, like a bit boring.

And then I actually... You gave it a... Then you actually listened to the lyrics. Then I actually listened and heard the words. Yeah, and you were like, Sabrina. Sabrina, you've done it again. I've got you. Princess, you've done it.

Yeah. I'm going to have to give it a little listen. It's really good. Because I don't know that song. It's... Oh, it's Espresso. Espresso, yeah. Do you remember that time when you told me off when I said Espresso, when it was Espresso?

It's Espresso. And you were like, Kate, love you, but this is my biggest dick. And I was like, what? Because I don't drink coffee. Because, you know, I should have known this is my biggest egg. And I was like, what? Because I don't drink coffee. Because, you know, I should have known. I should have known. I know, I know, I know. I should have known.

Records, records, recommendations. This week, it is Back to Black. I go back to who always sacrificed with words. I'm like, oh my God. Back to Black, I'm telling you, I've told everyone that I know to go to see this film. I thought it was great. I did.

I did. And you know what? It's controversial. Is that the fact that we liked it? Yeah. Because people are hating on it. Don't believe what you read online, guys. I would go see it because all I saw was shit things about it which made me want to go see it because i thought

oh this is going to be a car crash but it wasn't oh my god what's her name that played amy oh marissa marissa she is an incredible performer yeah an incredible actor i think her voice is incredible what people need to remember is she is not amy she is acting so when people but she's not amy no she's not no she's not amy yeah she's doing a role and i think for that role she was fucking fabulous may i say i think she was so good so marissa if you're listening which i know you are yes you are we thought you were great we thought you were brilliant but honestly don't listen to the haters don't listen to we were there me stuffing my picamates in my face. I was like,

how did you do this? You should have said no. Oh, truly. And great, because I didn't have to ask Katie what was happening. Yeah. Did I?

No, you didn't. I didn't. No, you didn't. No, great. When did you do that recently? Wicked Little Hatters. Wicked Little Hatters. Are we meant to know

what's in the letter? I'm like, we're about two minutes into the film. I don't think so. know i love those that you loved before because you're sat there like enjoying it i'm just like are we supposed to know what's in the letters and you're like no i don't think so okay okay okay and you're so not you see you're like no no and i'm like okay heard and then yeah and but I thought it was so good loved it and I thought her voice was sensational amazing parts of the when she passed away I think I was nine so I didn't really know that much about her other than her music yeah so it was actually

very good to know about her it is a lot the film is a lot about her dating life yeah and about her love life yeah and how her heart was broken so learning the hardship she went through and why that was maybe the case was quite interesting yeah so i would go see it guys it's good i thought it was good yeah yes should we go let's crack on come on. Stop pissing around. Let's debrief. Debrief. Could you say let's debrief sensually? Oh, Jesus. She's scared.

She's scared. She's scared. Let's debrief. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, that's quite, that's quite mysterious's quite mysterious oh oh yeah i think that's part of the charm it could be yeah part of the sexuality yeah debrief so that was really good that was good that was quite good that was great yeah well well done job well done i think so okay crack on.

Tell me what we're doing today. This week. Because I have no idea. In like the blind leading the blind. Tell me. This week, we are talking all things. Yes. Situationships. That age old term.

And it sends a shiver down my spine. Situationships. So first, if you don't know, get to know. The term situationships is defined as a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established. Interesting. So the difference here, main thing I thought, so friends with benefits, but you'd be a fool.

You'd be a fool to assume so. why would i be a fool to assume because friends with benefits is emotionally unattached oh i had no idea that's the difference with benefits so essentially situationships are you're more or less doing boyfriend girlfriend things just without without the label and it's but you're more or less doing boyfriend-girlfriend things, just without the title. Without the label. But you're also not exclusive. So it's kind of like you've kind of got this thing going, but it's a bit murky. Okay. I would say. Okay.

So, knowing that, would you say you've ever been in a situation ship? Do you know what? Actually, coming on from that, when I gasped, I thought that's dramatic. Because before being with Arch, I think I was a situationship girly I think I loved situationships if I look at my past before Arch three situationships or relationships whatever you call I think they were situationships I didn't really want to be in a relationship i thought god the term actually this is me and you weren't actually i created situationships yes you did you coined the phrase actually i did i did yes

because i i remember specifically when you knew me i was like right well you know me now but yeah me yeah and when i was like i don't want to have boy i don't want that label i don't want boy yeah because then it limits me yes yes which was a way to think but i also then loved kind of having the benefits of having someone to text that's true or having someone to come pick you up from something or just having like great sex that's true no that's right that is so weird because i think before Arch, I was a situationship girly. I was like, right, love it. Love having a fling. Love having something going on with someone.

Yes. Like to feel flirted with and, you know, love to feel the chase. Yeah, love that shit. But then, I mean, I remember one guy asked me three times to be his girlfriend. I said no, because I was like, I probably was giving off the girlfriend vibes because that's what we were doing. Yeah. But I was like, I don't want that.

That means I can't do other things. Yeah, like if I kiss someone else in the club, then that's cheating. Yeah. If we're not exclusive. Then I can. Then you can. I can go absolute to town.

Yeah, that's true. To Toon. To Toon. Yes. I can put my cowboy hat on and yee-h true. To toon. To toon. Yes. I can put my cowboy hat on and yee-haw. Yee-haw my way. Yes, exactly. But if I didn't, then I'd have to just be like,

oh, right, okay, we're in a relationship. And I never wanted to be forced into that. Yeah, you want to feel ready to be in one. Yeah, I really did. So, yes, I think I have been in maybe three or four situationships i know which i was like oh situations but now i'm like yeah i get you yeah because because it gives you so much freedom for one yeah two it gives you a clarity yeah to know what you actually want because i remember being with loads of different people than being like, well, not loads. It's like, gosh.

Gosh, right? Not loads. But being with different people and then being with one person, being like, ah, that's why I'm not your boy. That's why I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Oh, I see. Whereas because you don't have that, I've gone to such and such and they have that.

Yes. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I do completely get what you mean. Have you had situation shit i don't think so yeah maybe you're in one now but this is one thing i'm like you're in one now actually very potentially might be potentially in one now because you're shagging yeah and you're talking we're talking and you you flirt. Yeah. You're both not in a relationship. And I'm also confused, which is a key attribute of a situation shift. It's a requirement. It is a requirement.

So potentially, and I wouldn't say with... And I'm confused. And I'm not even in it. Yeah. So it is one big old grey area for Peach right now. So I don't know. So as a situationhip first timer how are you finding it very confusing actually i feel quite out of my comfort zone but weirdly like

guys i will be honest i am the most i can get attached very quickly and i'm like planning a wedding like i actually like i've looked it up before actually i think it's called an anxious attachment style when you get into relationships apparently we should do an episode on this yeah you like form different attachment styles based on your personality oh my god and i took a quiz busy way guys i'm allowed to say yeah but apparently i've got a bit of an anxious attachment style which is i feel like when you get with someone you kind of then like zone in on them but this guy I haven't really so I'm really confused I think that's taking me by surprise do you know what she has taken me by

surprise is I completely agree is that you've not obsessed I'm not obsessed which I'm like I'm not like that it kind of down on my doorstep. It reassures, but also concerns. Yes. Because I'm like, maybe it's mature, but then I'm like, but maybe she doesn't like him as much. Oh, I definitely don't think I like him as much. I don't think you're like... I'm not head over heels.

No. And I think if he was here, you'd shag him, but if he was like, be my girlfriend, you'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes, it's exactly that vibe yeah so yeah i don't think you are in a situationship congratulations my friend oh my god so it's an interesting one but i like to see i do love the drama of it yeah i think it's quite good as and it's quite good for self-esteem. Oh, massively. Like having that person to kind of, you know, people shame on situationships. You know, like, oh, either be single or be in a relationship.

Don't be so, don't have such disrespect for yourself. I'm like, what's disrespectful about it? You're seeing other people or you're seeing a person. You don't know if they're fully what you want, but you're exploring it. You're trying it on. Fine. Yeah. I think that's it but

i think everyone does that before they go into relationship yeah you know you have to have that kind of situationship to then be like interesting yeah i think the issue isn't it's the same issue with friends with benefits is when one person is more into than the other i think the the it's very hard to do a situationship well i think yeah i think, I think so. But at this stage, for me, I'm like, I don't see any of us getting butthurt about it. No, no. Like, if he turned around and was like, look, let's stop this, you'd be like, okay.

Right, fair. And you would probably, and maybe he'd be the same. No, he'd be, he'd cry. No, because this is the thing. This is the thing, girls. This is the thing, girls. I, they should obsess they should be obsessed yeah they should be yeah and it's great and it's quite borderline rude

actually if like you can you can end it with me i would be fine yeah i'm a big girl yeah i'd be like chin up champ all right yeah i had a good run of it if I if I ended with him yeah and he was like okay why aren't you crying yeah

why aren't you writing me a poem no no I won't have that stained with your tears filled with remorse I won't have that why aren't you at my doorstep

in the fucking rain why aren't you writing a song about me yeah why haven't you got the boombox outside my window? Why are you not doing a performance dedicated to me? What's the hilly, dumpy one? The one that's named Dylan? Oh, in the outside.

Oh. Baby, baby, I just want to do you, do you. Do you want to do me, do me. Underneath the moonlight, moonlight? I mean, it's fantastic. It's so original. And call it a double standard. Yes, it is.

And I'll say that with my chest. I'm telling you. Me and Arch, I'm just like, look, I can say it, okay, and you'll take it on board. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't think it's the same for each other. Don't think it's equal, actually. No, no, no. It it's equal it's not it's not because i'm

telling you when i broke up with my ex i was like right i'm ready here we go yeah we're finished you know yeah and he was crying i thought fantastic yeah you know fantastic yeah if i went in there we're done and he thought see you champ i'd say get your fucking idiotic face out out of me zone oh turn around and come back in truly no it's actually that's correct because come back in when you've had a moment to think no it's this whole thing if you if i leave you on red fine someone leaves me on red excuse me excuse me and but her but i'm but her i'm like what the fuck yeah like why are you leaving me on red right now like i can do it to you because i know i don't mean anything malicious by it but not the other way around but not the other way you actually you've got the crown at

the moment for a situation ship queen yeah yeah well i'm gonna get a throne i think yeah i think they'll roll out the red carpet i have to go back to uni and see them eventually. Yeah, I can imagine. Hey. Hey. Hey, stranger. Hi, but it's nice to see you. Hey, how are you doing?

So, yes. Okay, so talking about situationships and that you've given a difference between friends with bennies. Yeah. What do you say? FWBs? FWBs? FWBs.

Friends with benefits. Friends of Benny's or situationships. Yeah. We've clarified what the difference is. So dealing with the situationship. Yes. We're going to talk about how we can do that and methods to go around that kind of navigating that relationship.

Yeah. So we're going to talk about do's, we're going to talk about don'ts. Okay. And we're going to do, I'm going to do a do, then you'll do a don't. Then I'll do a do,

you do a don't. Amazing. Gorgeous. And then we can swap over. So first one, make it clear what you want. Okay. Yeah.

So what do you want from the situation? What's the reason that he's not put a ring on it? Oh, you know, what's the reason? Yeah, you put a ring on it yeah oh you know what's the reason yeah you're bang on because if then you let yourself get into relation if you get into the situation ship yeah and you're like i just want you to ask me and he's like hang on you know you need to make that clear why what is it you want yeah what is it you want from this you know it could be i want sex and i want to cuddle fantastic or it could be like i just really want someone to have the person to talk to after a long day

yeah fine that's fine but then it's not like the waters aren't gonna get murky with yeah like are we what's going on here yeah and him coming him coming over being like oh i just thought i could brush your hair while you go to sleep. And you're like, fucking hell. Wasn't in the agreement. Yeah, you're not in love with me. Yeah, yeah. Okay, your don't.

So on that kind of vein, don't do too much. Don't give girlfriend duties when you're not a girlfriend. That was one of mine. Don't do it. Because, and truly, again, like, I am somewhat, like, I can't even stress you guys i become obsessed with guys like i i have a red flag then you're not obsessed it's the it's the pisces in me like i literally am like obsessed with the thought of them and want to do so much

and always be like oh well like why don't we do this no no no no pull back pull back do it Pull back. Pull back. Do it. Ditter. Pull back. Whoa. Back. How did you do? Yeah. Away. You owe it to yourself, actually. As someone who I feel like wears their heart on their sleeve,

I feel like you need to put the walls up a little bit. Yeah. And don't give them any of the luxurious VIP experience of you as a girlfriend for free. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not a chance. So if you've agreed that you're in a situationship or you're in that kind of dynamic...

Don't buy his favourite chocolate. Do not... Don't do it. ...expect relationship actions on a situationship salary. Why are you doing that? Oh, not a chance. That was poetic, actually. Sometimes I think I'm Shakespeare when I get in this studio.

Reincarnate, actually. The bard speaks through me. William. Willie. Willie. Willie. Willie. Willie.

Willie. Shake your pay. Willie, shake your pay. Shake your pay. Shake your pay. Shake your pay. Shake your pay. Oh, I'm so unsure.

Okay, so I've got a... Now you do a do, I'll do a don't. I say, do know when to leave and i think that's also being honest with yourself because the minute i feel like you feel like your feelings change get a good god girl get out go and easier said than done yeah easier said than done girls take time to break up it's true and also depend and as well if the thing that's keeping you there is the shag that's going to be hard yeah that's going to be upsetting to leave yeah it's going to be really hard met there are so many men yeah loads of fish and sea and i

also i will encourage that everyone has a little nun era i will it doesn't have to be long mine was unintentionally very long but a But a little hermit era. I call it self-care era. Okay, cool. I love that. Yeah. You were cleansing. Cleansing.

You were cleansing the food. By choice. It was by choice. It was by choice. I wasn't a victim of my circumstances. No, no, no. It was by choice. So my don't is, yeah, this is a good one again.

Well done, Kitty. Don't lose sight of who you are or change your wants or needs for them. So say you go into this and you're like, right, I really like this guy. He really likes me. We love spending time together. But we're both, let's say, he's at a different uni. So it's just not fundamentally going to happen. And he's like oh well you know

if you move to London next year then we could be a girlfriend and you're thinking right the end of the at the end of Exeter yeah I'm getting my little Fiat 500 and driving to London and living there yeah right right right right right was that in your plan are you changing yourself yeah to be good for him yes because that's a whole different conversation yeah stay by the reason what your wants your beliefs and your desires in life yeah and your goals don't now just think oh yeah yeah well if i come with him maybe i'll be in a relationship no no because you've agreed that's not going to happen yes so don't do that don't lose sight because as well your mum will tell you. She'll be like,

why are you doing that? Fully mumsy wall. Yeah. Good old mums. Yeah. So my do is establish boundaries. So are you meeting my friends? Are you meeting my parents?

Are you in my friendship group? Because all of a sudden. Yeah. Shagging Michael. Yeah. Then Peach is like, oh girl, let's go get a pedicure. Yeah. I'm like, cool.

I'm like, but I'm with Michael. Michael drops me off. All of a sudden, Peach meets Michael. Then that's two theories. So it's like, met the woman in my life. Yeah. But that's difficult. Like, you need to establish boundaries.

You need to be like, right, like you, fantastic. Yeah. You know, obviously don't do it the first time you shag because that's really intense. Don't be like, I shagged you, you will never meet my parents. You know, that's weird. There is no future for you, sir. There is no future.

But it doesn't even have to be established boundaries for them. Just put it in your own mind. Like, oh, I love this guy. Like, not love this. I really like this guy. He's really good for me. For now. Yeah. But he's not going. I really like this guy. He's really good for me. For now. Yeah.

But he's not going to meet my family. No. You know, he's not going to meet my friends. Yes. And maybe in your head it is, actually, he will meet some of my friends, but not these friends, because they're the close ones.

Yeah. Who knows? Real. Whatever. Tell me you don't. Mine is, don't let him dictate your life. Love it. And again, hey hey i wear my heart

on my sleeve so and i've been very guilty of this with boys in terms of sometimes i won't make plans because i'm like oh well what if he wants to do something and what if he calls and what if he text no be busy because i feel like in a horrible way men are more attracted when you're slightly unavailable and i hate to say it but i think it's true yeah when yeah when you're when you're busy and you've got like things going on and stuff like that but they also love to have an excuse to not be able to get you yeah so if you're unavailable then they'd be like god the things i'd do to her if i could yeah we'll do it then yeah i'm not being funny yeah but it's like you know it's one things. I always found it with men going, oh, the great ones are taken. I'm like, no, they're the ones that you know you can't go for

so that you're just like, oh. Literally. Go for all the great ones around you. Yeah. That annoys me. I think it's one of those things as well that if you're, he will know if you're at his beck and call yeah and i've been guilty of this he will if you text him back as soon as he texts you he'll know and he gets comfy we never want

men to be comfy no no no no no we want them to be located like they're in an airplane chair you know yeah they're uncomfortable yeah but they'll they know where they are yeah but they're uncomfortable they should never be fully relaxed no never and i think that's that's the key because if you i'd say have a few little shindigs then if he messages you hey like you're around today actually i'm out i'm busy i'll let you know if i'm free yeah i'll let you know be you could be at home fucking watching ripley but he doesn't have to know that no he does not have to know no pretend you're busy yeah pretend you're busy literally actually my other do was keep your options open yes and my options i'm meaning men yeah like with

peaches one definitely do that don't be the beck and call don't be the bag no don't don't don't but do because in my mind i'm like if you don't if you're in a situation ship which from previous examples i've been in yeah i remember thinking in my head if another guy comes along and i'm interested i will shag him yeah you know so i'm thinking if you're in a situation maybe not the same for everyone but if you're in a situation you are open to getting to know other people. Yes. In my mind.

Maybe it's different for other people, but you're open. So therefore, be open. Yeah. Have a few people. Just have a few. Have a roster, guys. It's the year for building a roster. Yeah, it is.

And also, I would say that if you are on a night out and you're in a situation ship and a guy goes, and you're really into this guy and you've been flirting all night and he makes a move on you and you don't go for it, I would reflect and be like, are you in a situation-ship? If you're like, fuck, I shouldn't do that because of Simon. Well, this is the question I was going to just ask you. If you're in love with the person, are you in a situation-ship? This is the thing. This is where it gets murky.

Because I feel like if you feel like you're in love with that person, you need to tell him. Because also I feel like either, it goes one of two ways. You go, look, I feel like I'm getting, I feel very deeply for you and I think I'm falling in love with you. Oh, gorgeous, isn't it? I love love. Imagine.

And if you go to Simon, you're like, I think I'm falling in love with you. What do you think of that? Situationships. More often than not, you either get in a relationship or you break up. Yeah. So it's one of those things.

And situationships can last months. So it feels like a relationship. Yeah. So it's a really, really murky topic yeah so it's it's a really really murky topic in the sense of it's never really over it's never over yeah so i would say it's hanging in the air which then makes it more fucking sexy because you're just like just come here yeah just have me now the thing that gets me as well is i actually feel like situationship breakups might sometimes be harder than relationship because at least relationships

you gave it a go yeah you gave it a go and you know to each other for the end is the end yeah right but with situationships you're like well there were never any lines to start with so I don't know where the lines are now you stop seeing Simon you see him three months later at a bar and then you're like well there was never a bitter breakup. We just kind of like petered out. He never met my family. So Simon, let's go back to mine. Come on.

And then it starts up again. Yeah. So it's a bit, it's like the yo sushi. What's it? Conveyor belt. Conveyor belt. It just never really ends. No.

I just don't know about the love thing. I'm like, if you love them, just don't know about the love thing i'm like if you love them i don't know if you love them i either think you need to let him know or leave yeah because otherwise because i don't personally think that's the situation i think i'm going into yeah relationship territories you can turn around to you and be like oh my god fucking i feel the same amelie i felt the same way oh my god i feel the same do you want to be my girlfriend and amelie, I felt the same way. Oh my God, I feel the same. Do you want to be my girlfriend? Amelie will be like... Yeah.

And they'll be together forever. Or sometimes... Amelie will be like, I really love you, Simon, so much. And Simon will be like, sorry, got to go. Then you need to cut your losses, Amelie. Because he's being chicken shit. Yeah. Chicken shit.

He's being chicken shit. So we asked the debrief about their experiences with situationships we did indeed so we've got two fun stories i know the debrief listeners have really pulled through yeah pulled through so do you want to go first yeah yeah so i'll read you this so we've got some great situationship stories that I think dating the... I mean, I know I'm only 21 and you're 23, but it's so hard. It's horrendous. I read this and I was like, Katie!

I was like, God, got to take this to the debrief. I don't know what I'm doing. It's horrendous. So, hey, girls. Love you both. And look forward to the episode every Monday. This is so cute. Dot, dot, dot.

When are you going on tour? I will petition for it. Oh, so cute. Dot, dot, dot. When are you going on tour? I will petition for it. Oh, thank you. Get it going. In fact, you know what? Thank you. Fucking hell, it took us a year

for someone to say it. Yeah. Honestly, thanks. We've planned it out. We've planned it out. I even know what this design will look like. Yeah, exactly.

You guys will pay for tickets for us to get facials. No, I'm joking. Yeah, I'm joking. But we will. Okay, so, I need to debrief and I really need your help i'm in a friendship group of eight girls we're all so close and love each other so much we all met at uni then moved to the same city and now live fairly close to one another some of us live together yeah anyways For the past five months, I have been having sex with one of these girls in the group.

Oh. We have been doing everything under the sun. It started just drunkenly being silly. Now every single night, we will have sex together. Oh, no, it's a routine. By the way, we live together. I never knew I was attracted to women. And before her, I'd never kissed a woman.

Fuck. Oh, this is so exciting. None of my girlfriends know, as we both have agreed to keep it quiet because neither of us have explored things with women before. Oh my God. However, I know I really want to shout her out about it because i'm having the time of my life the dilemma is our friendship group have set us both up on a double date dot dot dot you're with men oh you're kidding i said no i'm not interested but the girl i'm seeing i don't know where we are as in i don't know if you're saying i don't know where we are, as in, I don't know if you're seeing, I don't know where we are, has said she'll go. To be honest, I know her and I keep saying this is casual and we're

exploring, but I think I'm really gaining feelings for her and could see myself dating her. What should I do? I'm really stuck in a situationship and I don't know if I can get out. Thanks, girls. Love you. Oh God, that's so oh my god that's layered oh my god the sexual tension imagine being in a girl friendship group of eight sending like susan's shagging fucking carrie fuck and the sexual tension as well because it's secret secret every night oh my god i i also think not to play the devil's advocate but is this girl just saying she'll go on the double date to not to to be like to protect herself and be like oh yeah yeah i'll do that you i would talk about it yeah that's good advice because i think if this were if this were me

i wouldn't want to wear my heart on my sleeve and be like yeah no i'm not gonna go i'm not interested because i wouldn't want the other person to think that i'm like doubling down especially if this is like just like a friends with benny's like situation shit vibe i would probably play like oh yeah definitely i'll go see other people i'd actually go the other way to the extreme being like oh yeah i hope i fucking shag him like just to try and like not arouse suspicion that i'm feeling a certain way so you could think that maybe the other girl's doing that yeah she's like yeah i'll go i think she's potentially open to going from a point of like oh well if i say i don't then maybe she'll think i'm really clinging and yeah oh okay so i that's a good way of seeing

her i would yeah i would have a conversation also darling respectfully you've said you've been shagging for five months so you've said that you have feelings for her i could see yourself dating her she clearly is interested in you yeah you know in whatever capacity that is yeah you know so i think there's no shame in just when you have your quiet moments, when you shag, you know, and I have that pillow talk. Pillow talk. Just be like, you know,

oh, wasn't it so funny when Lara and... Yeah. Lara and Bara set us up on the date. Yeah. And she'll be like, yeah, and be like, to be honest, I'm just not really, I don't think I'm going to go.

And she'll just say, oh, how come? And just be, you could say simply as, I'm enjoying exploring with you. Yeah, that's fine. And that's not like you declaring your love. That doesn't mean you're declaring your love. It's just a perfect way to say it, actually. I'm fine exploring with you.

I'm having fun. Like I'm not looking for anything with a man at the moment. Yeah, yeah, fine. That's absolutely fine. I think the other thing that's really tricky is that she's in a friend group of eight and none of the other girls know. Yeah, I would find that really hard. Especially if they're your best friends.

You just, you talk to them about guys. And then it's like your friend and you're like, oh. That's hard. So I think, do you know what? If you've been shagging for five months, I would have this conversation and then have a conversation about how do you feel about us telling the group yeah you don't have to say you bought your girlfriends no you don't have to say you're in a relationship just just to talk to the group about it like how do you feel about that she could say absolutely no way okay that

would be another bridge to cross and write into us about that but you never know she could be like okay i'm ready it must be scary because this is the first time they've exposed something sexual with a different sex so i get it's scary but i think just be open it sounds you guys have been friends for years and now you're shagging you care about each other it's not just like you've met her off the streets and you don't know her from madam you know give her a chance trust trust the friendship you've created. Yes. Got that. Gorgeous. So one's very short.

Okay. One was, hey girls, I was seeing this guy for quite a few months. Okay. We were shagging on and off. When I started to develop feelings for him, I went to confront him on the issue so we could talk about it. And he rode away in the trunk of someone's car to avoid talking about his feelings with me oh my god if this if this

isn't what would happen to me rode away in the trunk of someone's car he was like no he's like gotta go gotta bounce i. I hate men. When men aren't in touch with their feelings, please relax. Oh, why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Relax. That's such a nasty thing to do. Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Chicken shit. Chicken shit. Avoid that at all costs, darling. Yeah. Okay. X of the week. Yeah. X of the we. Yeah. X of the we.

Okay, I've got one. I've got one. Okay, you go first. Okay. I'll ping pong you. Ready? Yeah. Mine is when a guy tries to make out like you're after something.

Oh. make out like you're after something yeah oh when so for example the phrase you're just trying to like be nice and be like lovely and you oh I remember you said you were doing that how's that going oh all right you're not my girlfriend oh okay oh my god I also had an experience so immature where I was with like I was with this guy and i was trying to figure out how to get home from their house and i was like sorry is this real yeah okay sorry yeah i thought it was another dilemma i was like no i was trying to figure out how to get home from their house and i saw the bus takes me all the way home from his flat to mine and i was like oh brilliant i can like great i'll get that and he was like oh i see what you're doing and'll get that. And he was like, oh, I see what you're doing.

And I was like, what? And he was like, oh, yeah, the bus, that's convenient, isn't it? Are you just, like, planting seeds? And I was like, you presumptuous little toad. And I was like, no. All I'm saying is I'm glad there's a direct link from my flat to yours so I can get home fucking quickly. You presumptuous little shit. I know.

Oh, I don't like that in slightest. I know. I was like, ugh, ick. I'm like, do you really think I'm trying to... When did this happen? This was... Yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh, no, that's so presumptuous. And I was actually like, no, no. I was like, oh, no, no, no. And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, no, actually, no. No. I'm serious now. I'm actually like no no I was like oh no no no and they're like oh yeah yeah and I'm like no actually no I'm serious now I'm being serious now

I'm being stern oh no I don't like that okay okay my ick is when so say if you're one on one with the guy

that you're seeing a situation shit and it's just kind of really chilled or whatever and then you're in a group and he's got his arm around you and he's like yeah my fucking girl and he's And then you're in a group and he's got his arm around you. He's like, yeah, my fucking girl.

And he's like, yeah, we're shagging off. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. A second ago, he wants me to move away. Yeah. Why am I your trophy now? Why am I now your trophy now? Your boys are here. Oh, when men act up for that, when they're with their boys.

I don't like that. I don't like that. Take it and run. Get away. Get away from me. I'm a toad. Presumptuous toad. Presumptuous toad. I don't like that. I don't like that. Take it and run. Get away. Get away from it. Toad. Presumptuous toad. Presumptuous toad.

I don't like that. If someone... Oh, yeah. All right. I actually think I can... Well, actually, you know I can. But I... Coil. I'll quick coil.

Coil. I'll just start coiling. I'll be like... Hold me there? Yeah. I don't like that in the slightest. No, I wasn't vibing with that. Okay, should we question

question questions i got silly and i got serious casey this is serious so i'm gonna yeah kick us off yes so do you think peachy leach yeah do you think situationships are healthy or do you think it's better to either be single or wifed up do you think they can be healthy i think controversially they can ah okay go on but i i think it has to be like you have to communicate there have to be boundaries in place it's got to be a very controlled environment actually in the sense of this is what this is and this is going to be nothing more but the minute other feelings start to come into play you gotta bounce yeah it can't be very spontaneous it needs to you need to have your rules actually needs to be very thought out

yeah which is funny because situations ships seem like this whole like throw away like oh yeah we're just kind of like no they probably have to be the most planned out thing. Yes, yes. The sexual relationship you have. Yeah, 100%. I personally think. Yeah, great. Yeah. What do you think? I think people presume situationships, as you said earlier, are friends with benefits.

I think friends with benefits aren't healthy. I think everyone, honestly, take me to the grave. Never grave, because I won't die. I can't, you know. No, you won't. I will never die. But honestly, guests like people to do it. I will never die. I won i won't tell you i'll never die and i'll put the mantra out there so i'll still be alive yeah i think someone always catches feelings with friends of benefit but

situationships is more as you said it's just credited it's like look we've got these credits we know why we're here we know why we're here it's class pass yeah exactly exactly i agree yeah okay ask me you're silly my silly question to you is yeah would you rather be in a long-term relationship like you are now where you can only communicate in quacks for your whole life with him with him okay or only be in a situation ship your whole life but you it ends and starts and you don't have any control over how long it could be like you're seeing you're in a situationship with someone for years and then it ends and then you're single for like six months then you get back together you just don't have any any kind of control over it or yeah you quack to archie every day is the

situationship with the same person i'm gonna say yes can i put every day is the situationship with the same person I'm going to say yes can I put Archie in the situationship I feel like that is too generous that is very generous I'm going to have to quack to Arch I don't want to be with anyone else so I know I'm just going to have to quack to him

and you know we'll find our groove and it'll come to us it'll come to us, you know. It'll come to us. Yeah. You know, we could lose friends a long way, but the ones that love us will stay.

Yeah, and I think after a while you'd understand what you mean. Yeah, I'd know. If you go, I'd be like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like, what, what, what? You'd be like, what the fuck? You know? Yeah, you can hear it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'd be like, what the fuck? You know? Yeah, you can hear it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'll be like, which is like, I want you to know what I mean. And then be like, right? Right? See, I'm taking the quacks. I'm taking the quacks.

I'll have to. How about you? You'll have to do situationships. I think I would do situationships. At this point in your life at this point you do too you don't know

who your quacking partner is yeah yeah exactly exactly certainly not the one I got on the scene certainly not certainly not

certainly not oh god girls I honestly love spending time with you it's so much fun love being in the studio with you which you've made my week

honestly I've been so I know it's only Monday but I'm so looking forward to being in the studio with you which you've made my week honestly I've been so I know it's only Monday but I'm so looking forward to it to get here with you and just have a bit of time so everyone

have a great Monday have the best day guys love you so much slay the day slay slay away bye I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul