The Debrief - Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me?! | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! In this weeks episode we are covering breakups!! Offering our advice to "Makeup or Breakup" with your juicy dilemmas and stories. We also dive deep into our own experience with heartbreak and how to come out the other end better than ever! As always email us with any debriefs or dilemmas to: [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcastHave an amazing week! Kitty and Katie x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tea Brief! Monday morning! How are you feeling? I'm feeling fanny. Absolutely fanny fantastic. Fanny fantastic? Fanny fantastic. Well that's delightful yesterday

can you see the reverse boom boom um yeah i went in with the incentive saying i like a natural natural blonde i'm like don't be putting any white in there no i was like no no ice no i'm not a nice ice baby no you're a warm kiss right yes and and they did the job absolutely did the job how are you doing peach today do you know what i'm all right i feel kind of like a cat today where i'd like to be curled up under a little blankie just watching the world go by oh wow i'm feeling very cozy today oh my god actually i forgot to tell you oh yeah when i was my hair done, so I was in the sink and they were doing like the scrubby dub dub. And I whip out my phone,

I'm just scrolling on my phone and I look at my little, my cousin's baby. So what's that, my second cousin? Yeah. Looking at my cousin's baby and I'm like, oh, she's just so cute. I'm like, look at her little chubby face. Little bubby.

Look at her little chubby face. And the hairdresser goes, oh, is that your baby? I was like, it's- My baby. My baby. I was like- Do I look like a mother? I was like, I shat myself there.

I was like, I'm old enough now. You'd be old enough to be a mother. To have birthed a child. That could plausibly be your baby. Like if I said to someone, I've got a child, no one would bat an eye. They wouldn't be like, well, you haven't. No, no.

People are like, oh yeah, it's like, how old is she? Honestly, sometimes someone will say something to me. I'll be like well you haven't no no it's like how old is she honestly sometimes someone will say something to me i'll be like stop i'm 15 i'm not 15 yeah yeah i'm 20 fucking two it's like we got these letters through for voting and gated are like i'm like i can't vote i'm 15 why are you asking me to vote i literally i can't do that what am i facing on i'm just a baby i'm just a baby i'm just a baby so I'm just a baby. I'm just a baby. I'm so scared. But I was just like,

I can actually birth a little child. Like, boop. Oh, a little McNeil. I can't wait for you to have a little page. Oh my God. Little page and a little McNeil. A little page and a little McNeil. They have to be besties though

and conquer the world. Oh yeah. Conquer the world. Well, I need to crack on because you're like pretty much in a good spot to go and I'm quite the opposite. So we want them to be the same age. I've really got to dig deeper. They need to crack on because you're like pretty much in a good spot to go and I'm quite the opposite we want them to be the same age I've really got to dig deeper

they need to be the same age max a year apart max you're putting a lot of pressure on me here Kim we're a year apart so it's all good alright Pete let's crack on tell me a mantra funnily enough going on from that you are enough as you are

love it it's my mantra tell me girl why do you need it because i am oh yeah do you know what i was thinking actually i was mulling a lot after last week when you gave me my mantra yes and i was like do you know what you're so right i always am oh you always know i always am no you are because i was like i was like no do you know what actually yeah once i chill the fuck out and relax i'm and just be myself i'm not mature i'm a fucking hoot no no no you're immature oh i'm immature definition of immature so i'm right there and i'm like do you know what it's just an extension of that i'm enough as i am of course you are just just bring the peach energy yeah bring in the

and bow down bitches so my match this week is there is no single road to success so i am brave enough to carve my own path fuck yeah yeah yeah yeah get your pick out and yeah, watch me. Got me a little shovel. Boom, boom, boom. Hard hat on. Got me drilled. Flashlight on. Flashlight.

I'm like, I got this, girl. Full beams. Through the fucking. I got this. Oh, you've got it. So I've been thinking recently. I was just like, wow. I feel a really proud person at the moment.

As you should be. Not proud as in like, watch me, bitches. Proud as in like, I'm proud of me, bitches. You get me? Yeah, like a humble proud. I'm a humble proud. There is such a thing. There is a thing.

Yeah, you are a humble proud. And I was just reflecting and being like, wow, if someone told me two years ago where I'd be right now, I'd be like, oh my God, how the hell did I get there? Yeah. You know? Because that's not on the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what dirt path did I go down, how the hell did I get there? Because that's not on the road. So what dirt path did I go down?

What little alley did I go down? And also I feel like at the moment, some of our friends have different interviews for things and all that kind of thing. And I'm just like, just remember that not everyone's path is the same. Don't look at your friend who's in finance when you're in retail and being like,

oh my gosh, how are they getting there? How do I? No, it's completely different. Different ballpark. And allow yourself to get your toothpick to grind your own path. Truly. And you'll be there.

You'll find your own path. Oh my God, honestly. Like, I'm always so proud. Someone was asking me about you recently and I was actually like, oh my God, she's the best. Like, I'm proud talking about you, girl. Oh, girl. my god she's the best like i'm i'm proud talking about you girl so be proud of yourself do you love me yeah i do yeah sometimes i just love

squeezing it out of her like yeah let's go on to songs yeah what song do you have remember to sing it because you're live at the apollo it's the sound of the underground the beat of the drum goes round and around girls allowed man so we were talking about this I want to go put your hands up if you want to go

should we go yeah I don't know how many songs they have though like what songs do I know that girls allowed have done the best songs all of them

the best songs I literally was listening to the best of girls allowed fucking love machine sexy no no no sound of the underground it's they just have the best songs

and i'm just like i'm going i want to go i will be there i want to go in june lovely well i'll be there okay so my song is kind of in relation to what we're going to be talking about today but only a little hint so the cleverest beavers rattle gasp get guessing yeah get guessing ready thought it ended up with sean but he wasn't a match rosen sounds about oh my god now i say sorry guys it's thank you next by ariana grande i love thank you next next and then recommendation this week yeah yeah don't take the piss around there okay recommendation this week is me no

it's me it's your barnet it's this bloody barnet alright yeah I love it I love it no my my recommendation

is Edward James where I get my hair done they're great Edward James is like I think it's only a London thing and it's like in Putney Balham and

yeah Balham yeah go they're so good I always tell them I think it's only a London thing and it's like in Putney, Battersea, and yeah, maybe. Balam, yeah. Go, they're so good. I always tell them what I want, exactly what I want.

I've been going for a few years now and I haven't always got the same person who draws my colour, but every single time, they nail it. They always nail it. And they always give a great head massage. Oh,

they give you a great head massage. They're great. I love a head massage. And I've never had a head massage like before the appointment. I love great head massage. Oh, they give you a great head massage. A great, I love a head massage. And I've never had a head massage like before the appointment. I love a head massage. So like you'll sit down and they'll be like, right, are you 1015 Kitty McNeil?

I'm like, yes, I am. Thank you. And they're like, okay, would you like a massage? And I'm like, oh yeah. They bring oils over and they put like a towel over your shoulders

and they like massage your shoulders. You can also pick your oil as well. Sometimes they're like, do you want uplift? Do you want calm? And I'm thinking, fuck. There's like peppermint or lavender right what would you do always lavender for me i love lavender you know peppermint yeah start sneezing yeah let's debrief okay so what we're going to talk about today. So clearly we've had a lot of listeners put a time stamp on relationships at the moment

or their New Year's cleansing. Cuffing season is also over. Cuffing season is over because we have been asked to discuss breakups. Real. So we're getting ready to discuss. Yes. How do you feel about the breakup topic? Oh, do you know what i hate

to say i love it but i do kind of i do kind of love sometimes not personally when it happens to me yeah but a juicy breakup they're so layered i love to just dive right in yeah because it's never it's never usually just like a one thing happens it's never simple it's never simple never ever this is the thing about breakups and so many people were asking in clearly there's a cleanse going on peach there's a cleanse there's a peachy cleanse there's a culling but there's a culling there's a culling of useless man yeah someone close to me recently has been through a breakup yeah and i thought it was like a good thing so i was like oh that's good for you blah blah yes but then there are other people in my life that have broken up with someone but i'm like oh god you guys were so good together this is the thing so then it's really but you don't want to be that

dickhead that's like oh you were great oh my god can you imagine you just can't literally but i loved you guys you were just so good together if me if me like and my hypothetical boyfriend broke up and i was head over heels and he broke up with me. Oh, but you were so good together. I know. So we break up. We're going to give sides. Okay. Right.

Because I have broken up with. You've dumped. I've done the dumping. Yes. I have been the dumpy. Tell me from a dumpy perspective. Yeah. What's that like? It's not great. I can't lie to not great i can't lie to you i can't

lie to you check it i'll be honest not ideal is it not not highlight no no i think there's something but yeah and the debriefers may disagree with me oh because i do personally feel like there are breakups that can come out of nowhere and i feel like a break the breakup that i had where i was like heartbroken i feel like that came out of nowhere okay however i felt like it was coming oh you got girls always got trust feeling girlies because i everything was so so fine until the day before we broke up and then there was a shift and then all of a sudden it was like i think we should have a chat and then the next day i was like i know what i'm walking into oh my god no way although i didn't want to believe what was going on i was like oh god like i really hope this isn't did you like plan in your head what you were gonna say back

were you like i'm gonna say this i'm gonna at this but then this is the thing as well top tip yeah don't beg don't be like okay please don't fuck no no take it on the chin and cry what is it abby lee miller says your tears are for your pillow like no although don't let them see you sweat although from a a dumper point of view yeah seeing the tears makes it worse for them it's true if you want to make pain oh that's true okay so i think yeah people always say like i'd rather dump them be dumped all the time i'm like i don't know because i've experienced of dumping and i'm like the guilt oh you feel i think it's so it's also so hard because there's no the the experiences I've had, there's been no foul play or hatred over the dumps.

It's not like they cheated or I cheated or things happen. It just wasn't working. And I think when you know you're gonna hurt someone that you care about, it's really hard. And for me, the reality of it is so different, no, the reality of it is so different no the idea of it is so different to the reality yes because when it happened to me i was like right i had it all in my head i'd spoken to my parents i was back home at the time like when i was gonna do it because i had to come home like kind of debrief with them yeah yeah yeah yeah um so debrief with them i was

like okay this is what i'm gonna say. Went outside because he arrived in his car. I was like, cool, I'm going to just discuss it. Yeah. I'm thinking 10, 15 minutes, boom, in and out. Like two and a half hours later. Fuck. I'm sat there like. That is quite long still.

Yeah, it's really, especially when they cry. When you see someone cry, you're like, I am the worst person alive. I mean, even like crying because of you though yeah it's because it's a direct result of you of what you've done your actions yeah completely and they're like please don't do this and you're like sorry yeah you're like sorry so good on the chin yeah yeah but it's hard because safe trip home safe trip yeah but then his bloody car broke down so i'm like oh i know i know you overthink more if you're getting broken up with because if i wanted to break up with someone yeah it would be because i feel like they're doing things they're not listening and i'm not vibing with them yeah so i'm breaking up with them yeah so if i'm getting broken up with i am assuming that me just being

as i am yeah has driven them to be like oh no no that's not no i can't be arsed with that that yeah that's the worst bit yeah where you're literally like oh my god i'm literally just being 100 me and they don't want a piece of the pie yeah yeah it's horrible because i think ultimately it's like when when the begging kicks in it is like but but what can i do because i love you it's and i've been on the receiving end of that where the person was begging to me and you're like oh my god i'm stuck i'm such a bad person it's it's such a gut instinct to go like a knee jerk reaction to be like what the fuck because although i will say i didn't beg yeah i was like why are you doing this like i don't understand why you're doing this okay it felt

like such an extreme resolution like it's such an extreme like exactly yeah resolution to the points he was giving of being like oh this is why i'm like but that that can be solved that's all solvable boys break up more like quick like once they've got it in their head they're like yeah i know whereas girls it can take them months that's what's scary years like so boys watch bloody out so tell me the debriefers want to know they need need help. They need guidance. Oh, God. Okay. So we are going to give you the breakup blueprint. Love it. In our terms, the best way that we find and you guys find, because we asked you guys as well, how you get over a breakup.

Yeah. How you deal with it all. How you get on, how you crack on. Yeah. So there is a therapist. Yeah, tell me. Called Christina Hallett. Oh, love love it and we've all heard of this the stages of the breakup here we go there are seven tell me shock first one first one you've

been you've been done why me why did this happen you're questioning everything yeah you're pulling out your eyelashes second okay denial no fucking way you did that no no no no no no no you didn't it says you tend to hyper focus on things stuff like but you said we'd go on holiday this year oh how kind of stuff like that but you told me you loved me yesterday why are you doing this now i like oh it's all denial it's all like but you you clearly don't want to break up with me because you did all these things. We planned all these things. Yeah. Okay.

The worst I may say is when you wake up the next day after a breakup and you're like, that happened? Really? And I remember my denial. I was literally like,

I woke up and I was like, the fuck? Were you in a pit of denial? I genuinely, but the worst thing is right. No. I went to bed. I remember I was so gutted. went to bed i woke up literally like cried myself to sleep yeah woke up the next day but i had a dream that we were still together and i woke up and i was like no and that was 10

times worse then i was like it's happening again it's happening again. It's happening again. Third. Easy peasy. Bargaining. Now we've all been there and there's no judgment here. I promise you. No. I've changed. Either going back to your ex. Yeah.

You either, you sleep with them if they're not strong willed enough and they let you back. Yeah. Or reaching out, asking for answers. I personally think no contact. Yeah. Is the dream. Is the way forward no contact if you can help it yeah no contact if they've removed you from their life they know they don't want you

no i'm sorry this is going to be really hard it's a horrible reality they do not want you no and you're like okay and if you think they still do let them feel your presence gone yeah let them feel what it's like to be fully without you don't keep cropping in because they'll be like oh there she is and then they'll think oh she's always there yeah yeah yeah and then you then then that's a whole other catfish absolutely for anger fuck sake are you but you know what i feel like anger's both ways because i feel like broken up the dumper and the dumpee yeah the dumper i think like you get angry before you do it like well they've done this and they've done this and they've done this and then you kind of rationalize it a bit more and be like what to be honest what is the reason you're doing this

yeah you know i think the anger drives you through it you're like yeah yeah yeah this is the reason this is the re okay but did they do that did that make you that oh interesting i do think that that's a big factor yeah that us girls our minds are made up i'm like oh you're off so i know this in my head so then i'm like justifying it to myself i think it's the same with breakups like you justify oh well they did this well they and then you have to kind of reflect and think no you know the reason what is that reason you know yeah and you know deep down you know and it says this lady says that anger usually stems from more disappointment and frustration i'm sure the relationship is over and interestingly this is more for dumpees with no attempt to fight for the relationship is where the anger comes from which i definitely i'm like you don't clearly love me enough because we could get through this and

the right relationship you will even love it's like you don't want it you just you don't you could take you could take it or leave it and that's when you're like that's not right and that's what's the like fuck sake but i also think for the person that's been dumped, anger is quite a good one to help you get over it. Because anger's like- It fuels you. Do your Bridget Jones. Your hair's gone as red as Katie's.

And you're like, are you joking me? You're like, boom. Yeah. Tell me the next one. Grief. You start to settle into your new reality. Do you know what you do? You look through your photo albums.

You start looking through. You begin to accept the reality. That was nice when we went to the Lake District. You walk past a shop that you both went into. Or cards or things. When you find things of that. Hoodies. Oh, my fucking God.

The smell, the smell. You sniff the hoodie and you think, oh no. Or you've got a card that says, I love you so much. And you're like, oh God. You see one of his family members out and about. They love you because naturally they do. And they loved you and you think, I can't really go and say hello. Yeah.

But God, I hope you're well. Yeah. Hope you're doing all right. Yeah. Hope you're kicking about. Hope you had a good Christmas that I was meant to be at. Didn't send you a text because you didn't want me. My toxic trait is actually that I wish,

I really hope that like my ex-boyfriends, like families were like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was great. Yeah, every person wants their ex, like ex people's family to be like, she was the best thing that ever happened to you.

Like what the fuck? What the fuck? And you're just like, yeah, yeah. Okay, tell me the next one. Acceptance. Oh, interesting. You start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You're like, okay,

because grief, you're mourning the loss of that person and you're mourning almost the, well, no, it is the life you had seen with him in it. Yeah, it is mourning a life. You have to accommodate a new routine. It's mourning existence. Everything's new and you have to get back into that new normal the acceptance yeah is accepting that new yeah completely it is and

you just i also think it's so you need to remind yourself dump out dumpy if this person has dumped you they don't want you if i dumped you i don't want you so either way it would have never worked because someone was doubting the relationship yeah and if you're doubting the relationship if you're looking elsewhere if you're in your head five years with your bags packed at the door but they don't know with an invisibility cloak on us they can't see it but at any point you can whip the invisibility cloak off and just go you don't want that. Then if you're thinking that, then, and I think that's a massive with acceptance thinking, if it was meant to be,

it'd be. Yes, and you don't deserve. Oh my God. You don't deserve to be with someone who's half-assed on you. You don't deserve to be with someone who thinks

life is better without you. The right person will love you inside and out. Yeah, and the right person will make you a better person who will also make you not doubt this. yeah and the right person will make you a better person will also make you not doubt this yes the right person will make you feel safe not in a boring way not saying oh i'm

just with the safe option it will make you think oh my god i know you love me because i feel it yeah okay and final stage must be moving on yeah moving on but i think moving on can be moving on so many different ways i don't think it needs to be a relationship or sexual at all no moving on yeah moving on but i think moving on can be moving on in so many different ways i don't think it needs to be a relationship or sexual at all no moving on could just be like because these people that are breaking up could yeah could be living together so moving on is moving to a different place or in a different house or flower and it also require it can also just be like going back to the places where you've had fond memories and not wanting to cry yeah it can literally be as simple as that yeah and i feel like but equally to add to that if you go back to that place and you feel something that doesn't mean you haven't moved on no that

means you're just reflecting on the past and that's okay you always you can always see things that remind you of an ex and you can think fondly as long as it's one of those things that you think about them every now and then yes not i miss them every day i really yeah yes yeah completely this woman um christina yeah says it all these are not linear it can literally go like shock acceptance moving on bargaining denial like it's not it's not one through line you're not like okay i'm ready to move on to the next phase now no you could literally i've had friends break up with their boyfriend that day shag someone else yes then then be like i've moved on fuck them i've moved on

four months later they're like i love them i miss them and you're like ah it's not linear saying about the the mantra this week of carving your own path you don't have to do the journey and the journey isn't one to seven you know it's all completely different for every individual and also what you're going through because some individuals are going to be feeling betrayal yeah but others are not going to be feeling betrayal they're just going to be really confused yes um moving on can be done in such different ways also moving on does not mean i'm with someone so that means i've moved on so if you see your ex and your ex says oh something to you and he's like oh have you moved on you say yes and he's oh who's who are you with you don't need to

be with someone to move on no you just need to be happy in yourself be content in yourself yeah completely absolutely all right should we go on to the next bit absolutely okay so we're going to talk personally about how we got over breakups yeah um and kind of our uh our like girl guide to break up yes yeah okay so my first one 100 of how to get it 100 number one is setting boundaries okay yeah so when you've broken up whether you've done the dumping or you are dumped set that boundary yes so be like i we're not texting okay yes talk about communication because communication is key yeah are you still following them on instagram seeing that he's going out with his friends getting pissed having an absolutely jolly time you're on your sofa eating chocolates bawling your eyes out with your mom you see one feminine fingernail in that photo and it sends you over the fucking edge don't don't unfollow no block who cares yeah this is

what i'm saying unfollow block i would say on every single social media platform yeah don't leave one to just try get them back no delete his email delete everything related to him you cannot send him a letter absolutely everything get rid of it also this is a bit savage but like with with items of theirs as well like one of my friends yeah bought her boyfriend a laptop and this is kind of iconic but she literally went over there and she was like i'll have that laptop bag she was like it was a grand and a half like i'll have that laptop bag and the phone that she bought him so she was like i got she was actually broken up with but at least i made two grand i was like yeah fair fucks good on you do what you have to do i wasn't quite like that um good honor though but i think i remember when um we broke i broke up with someone yeah and we discussed it and i said to

them i'm happy to give you your things back. And he said to me, no, you can keep them. And he said, to be honest, I feel they are yours. So then I was just like, okay, well, then I can do with that what I will. But I do urge you like if they say like, keep it and you're like, I don't want to just don't, let's be careful with feelings and be like,

but if you're being broken up with or whatever, get that done. Like just get, you don't. Yeah, yeah. If they've broken up with you and then you've got like their sweater that smells of them, get it out, get it out of the way. Rory Gilmore put everything in a box.

Put it in a box and put it away. Yeah, completely. Don't even look at it. What's your number one? My number one is my comfort film go to a comfort film yeah i'm thinking this is more like day off breakup yeah okay get into bed yeah have your favorite food yeah what's your favorite film yeah and just get through the fucking night would you want to be on your own i would definitely if you have your friends around you

your friends are your most valuable people around you your friends your mom your dad they're all there to lift you up great friends lift you up and distract you and keep you level yeah but sometimes i think it is nice to be by yourself and process yeah what's gone on yeah you're like fuck delete the photos do not keep looking i am photos i am a firm believer of everything you said cut contact well i'm like i'm fully cut contact block delete yeah let's not see you yeah but i would also ghosting ghosting ghosting But I would delete. I would delete photos. Yeah.

Or. Oh, interesting. Or I would put them in a hidden album. Okay. For you to look back. Because sometimes it is a shame because there are nice photos that you feel like at group events when you're like together and you're obviously together. So it's one of those things. them put them away so you can look back

on them fondly when you're ready don't start flicking through the best of moments no no we don't need that no not right now through text messages delete it just get rid of it okay truly out of sight out of mind girl, cleanse, cleanse. Like you're cleansing those pores. Cleanse the pricks, okay? Cleanse the pricks. Okay, my second one is kind of like yours, friends and family. Be around people who love you.

Be around people who are like, can't believe we didn't want you. Look at that hot piece of ass. Like you don't want to be sat there like, with people you don't like. Be with your parents be or whoever your yeah your support unit is be around people like that because they're the ones that know you the best and possibly things are going to come out that you don't know

your family could say not being funny we never liked him your friends could say we've always thought he was a bit of a prick yeah so just go to people that you trust go to people because that might not necessarily be what you want to hear straight away yes yeah but go to people you trust yeah yeah i would say my second one focus on yourself it's such a cliche to do the bridget jones you get dumb to want to switch your life around but genuinely it distracts you yeah yeah it helps even if that turns i remember my mom god bless her cleaned my entire room and rejigged the whole structure of my room like moved my wardrobes about got me new sheets and stuff like that and it's like a refresh yeah yeah

pick up a new hobby yes something that's completely not associated with them yeah that they couldn't have any input no not so you're going to meet his best friend at the golf club and you're going to bump into each other because he likes golf. And you'd like, if I take up knitting and I've never done knitting before in my life,

that's not associated with you. I love how knitting comes to you. Katie's like, I've been broken up with, I'll knit. Let me knit. Let me knit a little blanket. Let me knit, all right.

Let me knit. Let me knit. Yeah. Yeah. And what's my final one? one okay writing down why you broke up you broke up for a reason yeah they broke up with you or you broke up with them yeah write it down yes why did they say they broke up with you let's say they say oh you weren't for me if you're with someone who doesn't want you for you you weren't for that do you know what fuck this write it all down be the grinch for like half an hour oh truly and moan about everything yeah you know be a moaning grinch be like this is shit wallow wallow in self-pity three o'clock wallow in self-pity it's truly says it rip it all up yes this is what i'm saying when it's done rip it all

up throw it away 100 one thing i will say is it's a bit rogue but we like to be a bit rogue here yeah yeah yeah rogue woman over here is the legally blonde musical has a song called so much better and truly guys it is a bit of a bop and it's got a bit of a motivational pull on it oh lovely and if you've got that blasting through your ears and it's like maybe she's what you prefer but hey last year i was her maybe you will change your mind you you might look up to find i've gone on to better things better jobs and bigger rings i don't have the time to cry and it goes and it's a it's a banging tune and imagine that like fucking marching yeah l woods l woods and she got like she did this she got her shit together she got her shit together she went to fucking harvard guys and then in the end she thought i don't

even fucking want you what was his name warner warner warner warner guys watch legally blonde actually that's a fucking great film because you'll relate to l and you're like oh my god this is so exciting so motivating who the fuck needs men exactly exactly anyone in this life so okay so we said what we need to give people for a breakup we asked the d reefers how do you get through a breakup absolutely so they gave us a few which we're gonna say so let me tell you the first one girl after her own heart says blocking them on everything absolutely exclamation mark good good girl block them on everything get it done purge them all like get them out of your life who needs them

just don't even look at them okay one girl said going on loads of dates and seeing that there are plenty of fish in the sea love that interesting love that that is really interesting isn't that is i think it's also something that i which i personally experience which i'm definitely recommending people do is maybe push yourself out there earlier than you think because i truly yeah i think the longer i spent yeah like oh my god fuck like i need to move on blah blah i can't do this like blah blah i left it too late and then was terrified of men not even go on dates get yourself in an environment go to a club have a cheeky kiss yeah because truly yeah go to a bar even just have a flirt

have a flirt speak to men because i went i literally went in into myself and was like fuck men fuck men blah blah then a man will come up to me i'm like i was terrified yeah so even if you think you're not ready try just try just dip your toe in yeah yeah try and then if you're like oh it's too soon then step back because i didn't try and i'm but if you don't try how will you know literally and now i'm i'm now i'm still even stuck in the phase of like i'm really comfortable with myself i would say too comfortable and i would agree sometimes i'm like oh katie and she's just like yeah but i just don't want anyone in my space because i'm like you wouldn't even see with the clothes on the floor they could be living in your room

right to fill yeah okay give me one so weirdly there's a contradiction oh someone said looking through photos and going through old memorabilia what she's wrong to go through the nostalgia i love you love you interesting that person must be very mentally stable because fuck me. Yeah, very mentally stable. That would send me. Well done to that girl. She's mentally stable. Another one.

Amongst it, social media detox. Try new things. Good. Which I think is great. Biggest, which is controversial. Come on. Avoid the rebound. What?

Going back to him? No, as in like avoid a rebound so don't i'm not so opposed to a rebound like jumping straight into something else not okay i'm thinking you shouldn't jump like headfirst into something very very very serious yeah but i'm like have sex if you've like yeah i'm not thinking i'm not saying straight away but why not if you've moved on yeah if i if i girls did the day they started the relationship yeah yeah you know so some people it depends on the situation because like you said some people are clocked out months before it ends that's interesting that's very interesting one girl said here um starting therapy so i was like

oh interesting i think that's very again very healthy i'm not good for it you you get to be in a platform in which you talk about your feelings in the same space someone's not going to judge you go for it absolutely what else have i got here they got over the breakup by realizing the reason they broke up was the truth and that he cheated on me yeah that'll make you bloody move on this is the time when i'm like instant move on that's that's the thing and i feel like that's why it's not linear no because if something like if something like that happens you're straight to fucking anger i tell you what that is that's gut instinct and that's punching you in the gut making you feel set yeah instant anger yeah then after instant

anger will come like fuck this i've moved on i'm gonna shag someone two weeks later you're bawling your eyes out like how could you do that to me yeah but in that sense i'm like yeah as you fucking should you go girl yeah yeah you as you should so our next segment yeah breakup or makeup lovely love it we've asked the debrief to email and dm us some dilemmas and we are going to give the opinion to breakup or makeup now i don't know yours and you don't know mine i have got some fantastic i'm not fantastic i shouldn't say that girls because they are pretty it is quite the dilemma um i'm gonna go first i'm gonna volunteer as tribute here we go okay so hey girls this question cannot come at the perfect time bro i'm so angry and confused right now oh she's going she's angry she's going she's angry i overheard my boyfriend talking shit about me

to his friends fuck off basically earlier on the day, instant annoyance that though, instant annoyance. Why are you chatting shit? That's betrayal, that's betrayal. That is betrayal, why are you slightly, don't like that. No, okay. Basically, earlier on in the day, we had an argument. We had planned to go out for lunch with our friends

and I'm all ready to go and I go to see if he's, how he's getting on. Yeah. By the way, in five minutes, we have to leave. I go to see how he's getting on yeah by the way in five minutes we have to leave i go to see how he's getting on he hasn't changed and he's watching tv oh i i hate do you know that's one that's one good thing i shouldn't say no that's one of the many good things about arch he's always ready oh he's always ready he's not gonna be like slobbing around and i'm like hurry up you absolute cretin no no he's ready okay i tell him that we have to go soon and he needs to get ready and he says he doesn't want to go at all and he never even agreed to going in the first place

what the fuck anyway we had a big argument but ended civilly saying how he needs to be more open and transparent otherwise we let people down and seem flaky. Well, first of all, he lets people down, not you. Yeah. He apologized, and I think it's all done. Yeah. Until I hear him talking shit about me on the phone to these friends that we were supposed to meet for lunch.

Fuck! No! Saying to them, yeah, I'm so sorry we couldn't come. I was all ready and stuff. I'm really looking forward to it. She can just be so flaky sometimes. Why are you lying? And that,

I begged for him to stay and if he didn't, I said I'd break up with him. None of this is true. All lies. I feel so betrayed. We have been together, girls, for four years

and nothing like this has ever happened. Why is that such a big lie? I just feel like I can't get past it. By the way, this happened six weeks ago and I'm still as upset as the day it happened. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. One of my biggest things is disorganization.

Funny coming from me. But disorganization. You wouldn't even know it in your room. No, no, I couldn't even see it in your room no no i couldn't even see it and lying not just lying pointless lies why why are you not man enough to be like oh um by the way sorry i it was on me take accountability sir but that's also being so disrespectful to her it's like oh i don't get i don't care about you if like if you get the shit i just don't want i don't want them to get angry at me it shows that he cares more what they think of him of him than what she thinks of him

yeah yeah completely oh i don't like that he's thrown you under the bus there the fact you've been together for four years and she says he's never done something like this well my love you wouldn't know because i'm sure he didn't expect that would spiral me no offense but i think he probably has if he's told lies this easily that's i think he has and that came too easily if that way too easily especially if he's a part which it looks shit on him he's the one that was just slobbing around watching the tv saying well i don't want to go right would why didn't you communicate the issue isn't that he didn't want to go the issue is that he didn't communicate her saying i do you know what it's a weekend or i don't know but it's a weekend i'm really tired like can we just stay in fine but don't then make me get all dolled up which she did

oh i'd be for then him to be like i don't want to go so then she has to take it all off and go yeah and then for him to blame it on her if If someone is lying that easily, they have done it before. You can't pull that out your ass if you're not a seasoned liar. I also feel like if it's been six weeks and God, you and I know this. When I had an argument with one of my aces, I think it was like, what, two months and I couldn't get over it. Like it was a big thing. Yeah. If it's been six weeks, I'm sure you guys live together. It's been communicated.

Personally, I'm thinking communicated personally i'm thinking breakup i'm thinking breakup unless unless you have a big kumbaya sit down and go look the fuck was unless this changes this is the end there's no trust there anymore like there's just no trust you just feel like what is going on it's i would i would say you deserve better breakup but if you think it's worth fighting for have a chat give set a firm boundary give an ultimatum being like you need to be clear and you need to communicate more the second he doesn't do that out the door well do you know what i would do is i'd say did you tell our friends the truth yeah i would say have you said sorry actually all of that was a lie yeah that's what i would say i'd be like a child and make them go to their house

and apologize and be like that was actually a lie i was just really embarrassed whatever yeah but you'd have to be close by because he'd lie again wouldn't he yeah i don't know darling i just feel like if this relationship is built on lies no trust i don't think there's a lot you do deserve better room you do deserve better you shouldn't have been lied about you're also not his fucking mother telling him to get put no actually yeah um i just feel even if you just need some time okay yeah and if you need that time that's fine but you need to let him know that this is really hurt you yeah really hurt you yeah personally i'm voting because we have to vote i'm gonna vote breakup i would vote breakup sorry girl right okay you go so hi girls please help i'm so confused i've wanted a

boyfriend for a really long time and now have the perfect boyfriend yay with no considerable red flags who really likes me and i want to break up with him and i and i don't why. I can't explain it and I can't talk to people about it because I have no reasoning and I'm worried I sound like a bitch. I'm so lucky to have... She's got the ick. I'm so lucky to have found someone like him. He's respectful, fun, caring, attractive. He's got a mature scent.

Oh, he's got a mature scent. He's got a mature scent for sure. He seems to really like me, but for some reason I'm not happy and it doesn't make any sense. I kind of dread seeing him and I don't know what's wrong with me. Oh my God. In a terrible way,

I feel like being in a relationship is just another chore I have to take care of and this is why I can't really talk to anyone about it. That bloody alkyd sounds like you. Did you write this in? I've got no time I can't talk to anyone well no this girl's got a boyfriend so most girls would kill for a boyfriend like him I'm absolutely taking it for granted and I really don't think I deserve someone like him when I know that I don't love him as much as he loves me okay he says all these amazing things about me and talks to me like I'm his dream girl. He's everything I want in a boyfriend.

Imagine what a dream guy would be and he probably fits the description. I'm worried I won't ever find someone better than him so it makes no sense at all. Why all I can think about is when or how I can break up with him. Oh my God. I know I'll be making a huge mistake if I do. And the worst part is he's completely obsessed with me and I know I'd be making a huge mistake if I do. And the worst part is he's completely obsessed with me. And I know I'd be breaking his heart. Okay.

What do I do? Okay. I think the first thing I've got to say is bleedingly obvious. You're not ready for a relationship. No. Because I think if you're, also, do not say that you don't deserve him. Because if you do, you're just not ready at the moment i think you do deserve greatness in your life and you do deserve someone that loves

you yeah but at this time in your life you don't you don't need it yeah and when you do need it and you do want it you will then receive it but at the moment you're either too focused on yourself not a bad thing everyone needs to be selfish when it comes to career and their success and life and friends, family, all of that. But she's got too many things on, focused on herself. She wants to live in a single era, I believe. Because when she calls it a chore, I'm like, oh, I'm just like, girl, you're not ready. You're not, if it's, and you're too ready.

She's dreading seeing him. And when she's with him, all she's thinking about is how. How do I do it how do i do it should i just do it now like okay girls well we've given you perfect perfect like yeah perfect advice on how to do it you know we spoke about it earlier just be like plan it in your head yeah just be really open be careful with their feelings but my love like i don't know what's going on but it's just not it's it's breakup time i but it's just not. It's not. It's breakup time. It's breakup time.

But I completely get your concern in the sense of like, feeling like, you know he's great, but he's just maybe not great for you. And also my love, you think you want one thing, you experience it and you're like, wow, I did not want that. Yeah. Like for example, with my exes, I'm like,

oh, this is definitely what I wanted. This is what I want, this is what I want. And I experience that and I'm like, oh my God exes i'm like oh this is definitely what i wanted this is what i want this is what i want and i experience that and i'm like oh my god i i don't like that then i'll experience something else and be like i didn't want that and then you're like oh my god actually do you know what i didn't even know i wanted that but you're what i need yes um want and need is a very different thing very very very different yeah um but my love if you're with him literally imagine she's there like he's stroking like oh my god he's stroking the poos and she's just like oh how do oh okay oh not this again is it chore time yeah she's like put a sticker on my chalks i've done the chores girl i think you've got the egg this is the egg you're experiencing i'm red i'm putting

my flag up for break i'm putting my flag up for breakup girl but i feel like i feel like as well though i feel like you think you don't deserve it you do you do don't don't push him away because you don't know you deserve the love he's giving you never know it might happen at a different time yeah you know but but i urge you to when it does come and you do break up with him, say, I just am not ready. And it's such a cliche line. It's not you, it's me, but it's true. Just say, I'm just not ready.

And you can say, I just feel like I'm not able to give you what you're giving me. Great line. Beautiful. Amazing. You got this, girl. You've got it. Right.

Okay, so the next one. This is an interesting one oh hey kitty and katie i really need your help i found intimate pictures of my boyfriend on his phone ones you probably would send to a girlfriend or during sexting yeah sexting sex texting in case my mom's like what the fuck is that she always texts me like after episode she's like what does that mean i'm like oh my god she's got urban dictionary on tap yeah what is this okay um they weren't just mirror selfies put it that way okay i had never seen these photos nor thought he did this kind of thing so they've never never done it. We have both discussed it before

and decided not to as we are both in high profile jobs and it would be a risk. I confronted him and asked him about it and he said No. that he couldn't remember taking them.

Sorry. Girls, not gonna lie, I'm just pissed pissed off i feel something is going on yeah and that he isn't being truthful am i overthinking or do you think this is straight or or do you think this is strange as well p.s i am this close to looking through his texts what do you think right i hate to be that bitch look through his texts look through his phone because if you've got a gut feeling it's right how long they've been together but also i'm sorry you would remember taking a picture of your dick you would just don't i when she said she had a bad gut feeling i was like probably but now i'm just like you said you can't remember

taking them that's weird i'm like what do you mean you can't remember taking that that's evasive and that's a shit lie no one can that is such a shit lie because if you're gonna lie good because every photo someone takes on the camera they're like oh i remember when i took this and not not gonna lie doesn't even matter if you were drunk and took those photos you would see them again and be like oh what's made me worry delete them yeah yeah cover your tracks what's made me worry that though is what has he received in return she needs i'm sorry like i hate to be i hate to be that person but you need to go through his phone okay i'm putting breakup breakup 100 oh no i'm not no i'm not but i'm not saying makeup i'm saying look through his phone then speak to

him yeah and then maybe break up i don't think break up off the bat right now no i think that's but we are giving you the green flag to look through his phone but dig deep go go go send a screenshot not also not of the pinocchio but of what happens yeah let us know please okay go girl so hi girls yeah in a bit of a predicament okay this is quite interesting my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly two years now we're living together and are the best we've ever been oh nice i know i love love yeah recently he's got a job overseas that required him to be away for six weeks, which is the longest we've been apart since we got together, which is... That's hard. That is hard.

In an early relationship as well. So, I planned to visit him after two weeks, so he got settled in, but when I went to book my plane, he told me not to come. Not going to lie, I was quite upset, and when I tried to ask why, he seemed really sketchy. Fast forward to now now which is the final week of him being away he called me this week to say he's extending his contract another six weeks but has made no effort to even want to include me in this future what i'm really not feeling like a priority right now and i've also got a gut feeling that someone else may be involved not no proof but

you just know the feeling i really don't know whether to just cut my losses or try to fly out to see him with the risk of getting rejected again please help oh darling that is like why would he want to see you that that's that's what my god because of course you think yeah it's giving bad vibes he's giving bad vibes. It's giving bad vibes. Because if he's been away for six weeks, first of all, you'd be horny. So if he's not like, get right here, right now, I'm like, hmm. But okay, I'm going to bad straight away. Okay, so don't panic.

Don't panic. I completely get like, because it's not breakup worthy. First of all, it's not breakup worthy. It's very much being upset and confused. because it's not breakup worthy first of all it's not breakup worthy i'd yeah it's up being it's very much being upset and confused however there could be a good explanation there could be because if he's just like oh darling i just feel like i've got so much work on and i won't be able to see you as much okay cool but are you communicating that with me yeah that's the thing it's like it

was just like no no no no no don't don't come because maybe i'm trying to play devil's advocate maybe he's being considerate being like i don't want you to come and it to be so boring but then i'm like but did you say that but also you gotta think he's away with a new team oh god who's on this team oh no it the vibe it gives me is that if she went across she would be seeing a dynamic with him and another with him and another girl that i don't think she'd like that he's been entertaining while she's been away which is the because and i would completely understand why you feel like there's something else going on why would your boyfriend not want to see you and rather stay away from you and then extend his contract and be like, we'll see each other in another six weeks.

Oh my gosh. Okay. Instead of being like, but why don't you come out this weekend? Or when can you next get time off work? There's no compromise with her, is there? No, it's just, I'm going to be gone. And then who knows? What if he then is like, actually, I'm going to move here.

You know, I just think. Do you know what I'm going to be gone. And then who knows? What if he then is like, actually, I'm going to move here. You know? I just think. Do you know what I'm saying? Is go. I'd go. He's saying don't go. Do it. If you've got the money and you've got the support to do it, do it.

Go. Show up. Play your best form. Yeah. And you fucking see what's going on. Assess the vibe. You be Inspector Moly. And you go. Be Moly Moly. Be Moly Moly. And you arrive. Be's going on, right? Assess the vibe. You be Inspector Moly. And you go.

Be Moly Moly. Be Moly Moly. And you arrive. Be your normal self. Hi, darling. Hi. Keep your eyes peeled, bitch. Keep your eyes peeled.

Keep. Look around. Just see how he's acting, okay? Keep your eyes. Because he could be, oh my God, I'm so happy you're here. If he's like, why are you here? Why don't you want to see me then that's what i'd be asking oh yeah girl i'm saying go i'm saying 100 i'm saying it's makeup i say go

i'm saying makeup i'm do you know what positive vibes positive thinking 2024 baby i'm like yeah i'm like go to that bloody place yeah the ticket ticket. Arrive. Blow his socks off because you'll look absolutely fabulous. See what he does. See what happens. It's all about playing a game, okay? See if he shits himself. Keep a close little eye.

See if he shits himself. Okay, but I'm saying makeup. I think that's the potential to make up. Yeah, I say makeup. I feel like fly out to see him. Don't worry about getting rejected because you won't be. No.

And do you know what? If you're not, shag someone else there. Shag someone else. That'll put him in because you won't be no and you know what if you're not shag someone else there shag someone else that'll put him in his place yeah and you know what if he does love you he will then feel so guilty that he's made you feel shit yeah yeah 100 got you i've got one oh my god amazing yeah okay i'll ping okay start you ready go mine is yeah and it is toxic oh tell me is that men not being bothered when you've broken up interesting if they outwardly look unbothered i'm like you've just lost the best piece of batuti in the fucking world right now yeah

why are you smiling and giggling and laughing i don't care if you're crying in your car i can't see that i want to see you miserable yeah yeah yeah Yeah. It's a pride thing. It's so weird. It is a pride thing. Yeah. That's a huge ick. It icks me out. At least put one tear out. Like one tear. Let me see that I meant the world to you.

At least be solemn for like a day. Yeah. Don't break up with me and then just be man about town. No. Booking a skiing holiday with your pals. Fuck that. No. No.

No. I want to see you tremble. I want to see you weep yeah yeah ready yeah okay my ick is when you break up with someone yeah or you've been broken up with and that person now claims that the person they were with was the worst person on the world oh i'm like you were crying though weren't you big dog yeah exactly do you know what i mean like i get i'm like oh i get you want to kind of move on in a certain way it's the anger thing but it icks me out when i'm like you were clearly with them for a reason yeah you did love them so you did love them so don't be like they were the worst person yeah i'm sure you had bad times but the worst

person in the it annoys me it's the easiest thing it's such an ick i'm like ick ick ick ick ick okay let's move on question question question this week i am silly you're silly you're silly and i'm serious no i'm serious oh sorry bitch my serious question tell me is do you believe breaks are a good thing to do no i think i think if you require a break then it's a um start to a breakup yeah if you have to say to your partner i just want to see what it's like without you why do you what exactly yeah why are you thinking like that yeah like if archie approached me on the side kit we just need a break for me i would be absolutely devoid yeah but i'd be like now we're done like it's one or the other it's one or the other i'm not giving you a trial period where you can go shag angela and sophia oh no batty runny you can shag is this shit all right yeah this yell this big

so i just feel like breaks breaks are a glorified breakup because do you know what weirdly right and this is my opinion i would rather we break up yeah have a month apart yeah and then you come back to me being like yes i've made a huge mistake yes i'd rather this is rather than we're not doing too well so i think we should not speak for a month and then see how we feel because then you're still emotionally very tied to that and wanting to be like oh my god and it's always there it's always there when you're in of the opinion okay right it's done it's done it's done i don't know i feel like you're more productive yeah i mean i've got these um i know these two people

that have moved in together they've like got a house and stuff they go on the breaks all the time like they're like let's go on a break they don't speak to each other

for like six weeks because they're like we've argued so much then they're like a break for them is literally a break away from each other that's mad

I'm like if you need a break away from your and I'm not just saying a day away with the girls I'm not saying a day away golfing with the boys I'm saying if you need a break away from your, and I'm not just saying a day away with the girls. I'm not saying a day away golfing with the boys. I'm saying if you need a proper break, six weeks without me to humble your mind,

jog on, love. Jog on. Get your Forrest Gump boots on and off your trot, all right? Off your pop, darling. Run away for a year. Yeah. Right, I'm ready for your question. Okay, so my question is,

would you rather get dumped on valentine's day or your birthday valentine's day really yes oh i know i know but have has he planned something for like have i planned something for like it's being planned everything's planned no i'd still have to say valentine's day it would sting like a fucker i'm actively celebrating my birthday every year okay i'm actively my parents my friends are involved in it's katie's birthday let's celebrate whereas yeah valentine's day i'm maybe not celebrating every year i may be single some years and i'm having galentine's day you know cool where it's not as big of a day as my birthday is to me interesting okay i'm saying opposite

because i'm yeah you love your birthday though i'm not love my birthday but for my birthday i'll usually see my family i'll see my friends valentine's day who must see him my boyfriend yeah but is he gonna see him would he be there for the celebrations on my birthday on my birthday yeah so i'm with my family that's even worse i'm with my family my friends on my birthday and my boyfriend's up with me and my boyfriend's like no and then leaves and also with with birthday i'll be with my friends i would be with my family because we know i like to have a big birthday yeah at least if he leaves i'm not going to be on my own i'll be like fuck you then and party but then i just just cry the day later. Valentine's, we've organized a full date.

Last year, Arch and I did a spa trip. Imagine me with a fucking seaweed wrap on me. And Archie's like, I'm leaving ya. And I'm literally in that fucking seaweed wrap, like, what am I gonna do now? Crying myself out of the wrap. Like, that would be shit. That would be shit.

That would be shit. But I also actually think the reality of being broken up with at a dinner with my family and friends around me. My family. Right. Well. Right. Should we just go then? Oh, quickly before we finish.

Tell the unwell story. Oh my God. So I was really. So I was really unwell with whatever the super flu that was going around last year i was so unwell with that and i was texting my mum like i'm so unwell mum like i literally feel so unwell and she goes well it's days like these you've got to keep your gratitude up she goes if you you've got to be grateful that whilst you're you're temporarily unwell you're overall very well and then you'll become better.

Once you're more grateful for your health. I said, oh, yeah. Katie told her mum that when I did the half marathon because I had glandular fever. She was like, oh, God, how was she? And Katie said, well, she just told herself that she wasn't unwell, so she got through it. And your mum?

She goes, yeah, well, that's how you do it, isn't it? It's all up here. It's all in you do it isn't it it's all up here it's all in the mind it's all up here I said yeah you're right it's all in the mind alright my loves have a great Monday

have a great Monday I love you so much heartbroken girlies heartbroken girlies feel better plan your galentines yeah oh my god

because galentines is on the way galentines dinner parties here we go love you girls and we're always here for you so continue to write in.

Watch us on YouTube. Follow us on Insta. Love you lots. Have a great day. Gorgeous. Love you. Bye.