The Debrief - Journey To Self Love ft. Self Love Liv

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief!! This week is all about SELF LOVE and we are so excited to have our biggest guest to date here on The Debrief: @selfloveliv.We talk all about self love and how the journey to acceptance is always an ongoing one. We also answer some of your dilemmas and get Liv's fabulous advice on how to boost your confidence and start your own self love journey. As always email us: [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcastHave a successful week guys, you deserve it! Lots of loveK+K x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the D3! Hi guys! Hiya! Look at us, we're in a new place! I know! You haven't seen these drapes before, have you? No, you certainly haven't. We're like Narnia. Every now and again we end up in a different location you'll never know where we are yeah just to keep you on your toes you'll never know how are you feeling pete i'm feeling fabulous how are you feeling i'm good how's your week then oh my god it's been a bit feral yeah it's been a bit last week last week then last week's been a bit feral it's one of those things where you're like not another one and you know you feel like you just tick one thing off and then like five other things come up and you're like oh are you joking me i actually do you know what hit me over the edge was i was on a run yeah and it was muddy and i stacked like i was running yeah and you know how you try and miss like the little puddles

yeah so i like like left i thought I was in the ballet. And I was like, boom, in the air. And into like a full on split. That's unflexible. Cause you stretch beforehand. And I honestly stuck it. And the worst bit about it is people, are you okay? Oh, that is the worst.

Don't embarrass me like that. It's the same as, are you all right? It wasn't that bad guys. Honestly, it was fine. Okay, it's just a bit of a month right? It wasn't that bad, guys. Honestly, it was fine. It's just a bit of a month. I've never felt pain in my life. I'm literally fine. Humiliated, though.

Humiliated. And it was all up my butt, all up my bum, and I was wearing shorts, so it literally looked like I had shat myself. Right, should we get into it? Because we've got

an exciting episode. Yes, such an exciting episode. So tell me your mantra. My mantra this week is I love myself just as I am. Yeah, you do. Bit of Bridget Jones there. I love myself just as I am. Yeah, you do. Bit of Bridget Jones there. He likes me just as I am.

Oh, I love that quote. I know. Is it Colin Firth who says it? Yes, I did. Oh, I love that. So why did you need that this week? I feel like with all the stress and all the chaos, I think it's very easy to then lose track of other things.

Like my room was then untidy because I just felt so chaotic. And thought no do you know what don't beat yourself down for that yeah love yourself you'll clean it up eventually you know you will i think it does take time to be like to adjust to your own like routine as well like you've got so many things going on at the moment you're trying to like navigate the pod as well as doing your ma and everything as well yeah so once you get into your routine it settles out. But at the start, it's like when you move a house, it's the worst thing you could possibly do. Like, oh my God, I thought I'd lost my life

when we had to move flats. I was like, well, it was when we turned up in the flat and there was no bed. I tell you, and then this week we got home. Anyway, I got home from the gym and there's this wet patch on my carpet. And I'm like, well, actually, it was desperate. I'm just like, why is there a wet patch?

I look up at the ceiling. And the ceiling's dripping. Like, absolutely dripping. And it's like. And I was like, you've got to be joking me. You've got not another word. And I was just like, the tears are coming. The tears are coming.

Truly. I know. Okay. So let me tell you my match for the table this week. I deserve the love. you got not another word i was just like the tears are coming the tears are coming truly i know okay so let me tell you my match for the tell me this week i deserve the love i keep giving to others oh that's so lovely you do thanks girl i just think it's so important to you put so much effort into friendships yeah your relationship or your family and sometimes if you don't give that back i do think it's a bit of a realization like well what what is this relationship what what is this friendship yeah you know and i think one one person this week like gave me so much

that i was like okay do you know what i mean i just felt so so deserving of that relationship and that friendship oh i love that thank you tell me a song i'll sing it yeah sing serenade me what's wrong with being what's wrong with being confident oh it's emily vato confident oh i love it i love know, it's so good. And because our podcast this week is all about self-love, which we'll go on to in a second, confident, put it on. Like, seriously, what is wrong with being confident? And at the start, isn't she just like,

people are like putting her down. She's just like, and God, hasn't she been on an arc? Yes. She's been on a journey, hasn't she? She has. What's your song? Sing it to me my song is i'm feeling myself i'm feeling myself i'm feeling my oh who's that beyonce feet

nikki minaj i used to always wonder what feet meant like i thought like there might be some do you know what i genuinely thought of feet man oh yeah so i didn't think it was spelled like v-e-a-t i thought it was like v-e-e-t and i thought it was like feet like a bit of them contributed oh like a part of them but not all so just their feet like no and i didn't mean it literal like their feet were in it like playing the tambourine yeah but i meant like just a teeny bit like a tenth well that's actually quite logical not just a hat rack not just a hat rack like that i know it does to me yeah okay so our recommendation for this week yes are you ready recommendation is exciting we have got a

really special guest on our biggest guest so far i know which i'm really looking forward to so our recommendation for this week is self love live which is instagram handle yeah with um 150 000 followers and she specializes in self-love fashion and um mindsets as well as 100 and we have got her on this week and we will introduce her very soon which we're really excited for but I think she is someone who is very influential online and I think girls she would be someone who really helps you with your positive mindset oh absolutely your own self love and appreciation yeah I would definitely go and give her a follow and just go through her account because she says some very, very interesting things.

So uplifting. And in the month of love as well, guys. In the month of love. In the month of love. It doesn't just have to be romantic love. It can be self-love. I love February for this. Yeah.

Self-love is the most important love. A hundred percent. And you can't go on to any other kind of love until you're in the words of RuPaul. If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else? I love it. Can I get an amen? Amen.

Yeah. I got you. Oh, fabulous. Okay. Oh, so we're so excited for the episode today. And we have got a very special guest, which we have said earlier in the episode. And please debrief us. Get ready to introduce our lovely guest, Liv. Hello! Hello! How are you? I'm very sweaty I'm not even gonna lie about it

yeah I'm sweaty. We rescued you didn't we yeah from the bus stop yeah yeah and I was dripping with sweat I was like I'm gonna smell so bad. So you're looking great you've got your lovely valentine's nails on looking Looking stunning. I love it. How was the journey here? Was it okay? It was good. Yeah. No one, you know, did anything wrong. That's good. It's always nice thing. The amount of train journeys I've been on where they've started to vape on the train. I'm like, if I can't, no, no, no. And they'll stop the train and they'll be like if you don't stop

we're not going and I'm like please God no it's like if they are can't I can we all do it it's a thing now

it's a thing great what's out the window yeah it's getting hot in here literally no absolutely fine yeah

oh amazing well we're so grateful for you to come thank you for having me so she's made the journey I'm a Brummie you to come yeah thank you for having me so she's she's made the journey i'm a brummie yeah you are yeah have you always had an accent do you ever have an accent a little bit do i wouldn't if if i'd met you for the first time which i have just now yeah i would say i could hear a little bit but it's not interesting yes it's subtle i say yeah it's

very subtle one might say one might say. One might say subtle, yeah. Do your parents have a strong accent? I don't think, I don't, I don't hear them in my own voice, obviously, but like people often say to me, you sound Brummie, I'm like, oh no. It's so funny how you can pick up accents though. Like my friend that I told you about,

she was there for a year and she came back Brummie. And I was like, what? Like a chameleon, yeah. Complete chameleon, it's mad, yeah. It's like my partner James, he will go somewhere, if he's serving a customer somewhere, if they're from anywhere else in the world, he will start talking in their accent.

Yes, I do this. And it's so embarrassing. Yes, it is. My mum does it, she's Australian. When she gets on the phone, she's like, all right. I'm like, mum, like. What? Like what like just be yourself they'll love you for you talking about you let's get into it so uh we've brought you onto the podcast because um you are a digital creator i am in all things um mental health fashion and self-love and most importantly

what we want to cover is the self-love today. Yes, it's February, it's the month of love. But personally, we think the most important love is self-love. Absolutely. And I wanted to ask you, what does self-love mean to you? Oh God, it means absolutely everything. I think self-love is such an important thing to have in your life. And I think people presume that it's selfish.

How interesting. That it's selfish mmm how interesting that it's kind of your cocky your arrogant but I think it's a way to release shame from yourself okay we're kind of taught such as women yeah I thought to be quiet we talked to be doing no no no no use don't be angry don't be bossy class where you be bossy yeah I think self-love is such a needed thing in this society yeah I see girls and boys younger and younger now feeling low enough like tiktok I think um as good as it can be it's starting to become

this almost trend to feel to not be a i'm trying to say is do you remember tumblr yes i do yeah yeah i feel like jenna's tumblr i remember that i feel like tiktok's becoming the new tumblr okay so yeah i don't know if it's a good thing okay because tumblr to me um we're going back like 15 years ago. Yeah. Showing my age. Come on, come on. Young at heart, young at heart. Young soul, young soul. Yeah. I was born yesterday, actually. Oh, baby.

Yeah. But tomboy back then was, it was toxic. It was famous, like, negative images. It was encouraging this awful behaviour. I feel like TikTok is kind of becoming that now. Oh, how interesting. Yeah. And I've seen so many trends. I don't know if you've seen the legging legs oh i have seen that yes oh my god it's the most baffling thing in the entire world it's basically saying that you have

to have a certain type of leg to wear leggings yeah you're kidding i wish i was it's a thing at the moment it's so sad yeah yeah and that makes me think like self-love is so fucking needed right now yes yeah so need and can i ask on your instagram you say something pretty um profound you said that self-love isn't selfish and in fact it saved your life yes and can you tell us and the debrief listeners what you would define self-love as? Ooh, I think it's a power tool. Oh my gosh, wow. I think it's a power tool. I think if you have self-love and you have self-worth,

nothing can stop you. No one can kind of, if you create this like, almost self-love barrier, no negativity can get in. You're not affected by anyone really. Yeah. And that's fucking powerful. That's so powerful. It is, yeah. Wow, I actually got goosebumps. Yeah, yeah. I remember some advice that was given at a really young age and I've

never let it go and it was called putting your Teflon coat on whenever you feel negativity and when I slip my Teflon coat on all those negatives are like raindrops and they just wash off me and they can't hit me, they can't hurt me and I think that is such a great tool with self-love.

You really have to let those raindrops hit and let them go away. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where free speech is a thing, whether we like it or not. And, you know, there are people on the internet who are damn right mean yeah and

you have to kind of allow that to happen because the more negative i get personally the more i feel stronger my self-love increases it has to otherwise i'll just crumble yeah you have to build this barrier of like okay well i know who i am as a person. I know what I like. I know who I am. I know what I'm about. Your words can't affect me because I know who I am. Lovely.

And that's enough. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks. That's why I'm good when I do, actually. I was going to say.

Some people say I'm a professional. No one says that. We do, we do. So it's on. So as a digital creator, so self-love being so important mental health and fashion as well that you find so important you're very open online emotionally and physically and you have your tattoos as well which i love i love and one of them says I am enough which I absolutely I was like oh my god there's so many now so many but that was our favorite yeah and that's something my mom

always says to me she always and that's her like affirmation constantly so I absolutely love that it's such a like it's a universal statement, but it can empower so much. So how did you get started trying to, influence is the wrong word, isn't it? But like influencing, but documenting your journey. That's really interesting. I think, let's rewind it back. I started Instagram, it was late November 2016.

And I don't know why I remember that so well. I don't remember anything but these that so well I don't remember anything but these ridiculous snaps that no one needs I'm like wow it was 5.25pm yeah

I was sitting on the bed fluffy celebrity and I literally did it I had about 300 followers which were all people that I knew from like college, school, work whatever

and I did a post literally like a then and now it was me at prom while i was my probably one of my illest i was very underweight i was self-harming i was just a sad human being yeah and then to now i mean i was like you know more positive more aware of myself

and that post got like 300 likes and i thought i did the math and i was like every single one of my followers is like that post i went back into and i thought i did the math and i was like every single one of my followers is like that post i went back into my page i got up to 800 i was like that's really weird i thought i was saying to james like james look at this he was like yeah yeah yeah that's pretty cool wow and i thought okay i'm gonna maybe people needed to see this. This message of hope and you can get through the hard days. And it kind of snowballed from there. And now I'm sitting here and I'm like, how the fuck did this happen? Were you apprehensive or nervous about opening up about your own journey?

Yeah, because I think it was weird because it's people I knew. It was almost like this shame of like, okay, I have to admit I needed help. Okay. And there's nothing shameful about that at all. But at the time I was like, oh, this feels a bit weird, you know. But it was so empowering to say, look, I was in a bad place. Yeah. I've come out of that bad place now.

I'm going to try and help. My kind of goal was to make sure that my school friends never ended up like I was oh and so was that the driving force that was the drive yeah my gosh wow from that post I had people from my school message me saying I felt the exact same way you did at school but I didn't tell anyone I was like yeah huge yeah and that kind of became the driving force for me to think something's happening here i'm going to keep doing this yeah that's where it gets me and somehow here we are yeah five years later whatever and do you feel um from your own experiences that's built more of an understanding for then why you show it with other people 100 i think i think throughout my, the one kind of key thing is I've never felt enough.

And through a variety of methods, I've realised that like, why do I speak to myself this way? I don't speak to anybody else this way. My mum, my best friend, James, my mum's cat, who I love dearly. I never speak ill of any of them. Why don't I do this to myself? Yeah. I had to rethink like, why, you know, you have to like get deep with yourself why don't I do this to myself yeah I had to really think like why like you know you have to like get deep with yourself and then why am I doing this myself I think it's just because like growing up I never felt like I was enough to for anyone and no one's made me feel that way it's the weirdest thing ever no one made me feel like I wasn't enough

yeah it was all in my head and like living with bipolar disorder you have these kind of thoughts of like I'm not good enough I'm not worthy enough this and that and it's really hard to kind of get yourself out of that mindset but my best advice for anyone who's dealing with um whatever mental health issue you're going through is talk about it yeah the amount of times I've rang my mom I've gone mama for like crap yeah she's gone let's talk about it okay it is the best medicine yeah it truly is yeah so good and as you've experienced showing those vulnerabilities and things that you were scared about so many people related to it yeah and i felt that too you feel so alone in your struggles but nine times out of ten someone's going through it as well yeah no you're completely right and i feel like honestly like you're what you're saying now is so relatable on so many levels yeah like just that feeling of not feeling

enough I've definitely struggled with for years and years and I still feel like it creeps in and it's like you said no I get this from no one else and it's one of those things the pressure that I feel like well as a woman I feel like we put on ourselves to kind of tick all these boxes and spin all these plates at the same time is so overwhelming and especially like you said with TikTok with Tumblr at the time yeah you're then seeing a false representation yeah of what power effects should look like and it's one of those really interesting things that when you can curate your social media feed to be with creators like you who are so empowering and so honest. Yeah.

It just makes everything feel a lot more human. Yeah. I think there's so much pressure now, especially for women. I don't blame those ones who use filters and use photo. I don't blame at all because the amount of pressure and negatives they must get in order to have to do that. Yeah. Yeah. So sad. Yeah. Yeah. So sad.

Yeah, completely. And even when they kind of say, I was watching a post with a Dan TikTok. I'm not going to mention the name. But she was like, I'm done using filters now. And the comments were like, brutal. Really? And the next post, she's back using filters. Oh, how sad.

No. Yeah, yeah. How sad. And also so sad that her everyone is beautiful everyone is beautiful and you know you cannot compare a butterfly to the ocean both things are beautiful themselves but why are you comparing and this whole opening up about um your journey and everyone else's journey of not feeling enough it's terrifying to admit fault it's not fault yeah that's how it feels

because as women we are compared all the time yeah so if you then admit oh i'm not struggling i'm actually struggling so oh well i'm not yeah you're like i'm i'm trying to reach here and i'm trying to build connections um i also wanted to ask you so you have spoken about your mental health journey and you're very open online um mentally your own path and why it's made you want to reach out to other people yeah but how did you how did your journey um what's the right word um how were you navigated to a place where you felt that you could manage those feelings yourself oh i think I think it's just years of understanding. And I'm very pro-medication, always have been.

I take my meds every night. And they give me this, I'm not saying medication is like the cure for everything, but it helped me so much. And with talking to my friends and family and the medication, it gave me a more stable mindset of like okay well now I'm stable let's really think about what I can do to prevent me going into a dip again I think in terms of navigating it I just everyone goes through something in their life yeah you know I'm not gonna be a victim of my own past. Yeah, wow. You know, I'm just going to move forward

and hopefully my past can, you know, create my future in a way. Yeah. And have others create their future. Lovely, yeah. I had a message, it was a few years ago now, of a mum. And she said that her daughter had watched a post of mine and had come up to her room and said, Mum, I need to talk to you about something.

And had this big conversation about, like, her mental health and things that had happened to her. And the mum messaged me and said mom i need to talk to you about something i had this big conversation about like her mental health and things that happened to her and the mom mentioned said like i just want to say thank you because without you i don't know what she would have done oh my gosh that's that's overwhelming oh my god this was it was unbelievably humbling yeah because i feel like you do feel like i'm one person what can I do yeah well one person but actually you are doing so much because as you said at the start when it was just you know 800 lights in 2016 that's a big thing yeah if you put 800 people in a room that's a lot a lot of people you know social media has escalated since then yeah but in 2016 800 lights was a thing. That was a thing. And with that growth, with you saying earlier,

the reason why I started this whole self-love journey, the reason why I exposed it, was so that I could help other people. And that's exactly what you did. That would have been quite a moment for your journey as well. It was almost just a reminder of of what i do i need to keep doing and to keep going you know i have moments i'm like i'm gonna quit social media i'm i'm done with this i'm terrible at this and i have to ground myself almost and say there are people out there who need the support yeah you know you're not just one person because

it's one person you are the world you've got to keep going and and with um the self-love journey specifically um can i ask how old you are 31 31 and sexy as ever yeah she's like i'm shy 31 um you've obviously been through a lot and what at what point in your life did you feel that you were you had learned self-love and how did you do that i don't think you ever learned self-love it's a journey okay it's no destination you're not going to get up one day and be like i found self-love i am finished i'm the'm the Buddha. Done. Thank you.

All no egg. Never going to happen. Okay. But obviously, even though I have days I wake up and think, you know what? No, not today. Yeah. No, thank you.

But on those days, I have to practice self-worth. Okay. And what does that mean? What do you mean by that? Allowing myself to feel the emotions and feeling okay i know that i'm worthy of getting to the point of self-love because when you're in your really low mindset yeah you often think well i don't want self-love i'm not worthy of self-love i don't deserve to love myself i am ugly i'm this i'm that yeah start off with self-worth you need to realize that you're worthy

yeah of loving yourself you don't have to live yourself tonight or tomorrow but you're worthy of making those changes in order to feel better about yourself your body your mind whatever yeah wow and how and how did you um find this as a method really no i think i might have had like a dream one night it came to me it hit me and i just knew i was like this is it this is it i'll be big online like people love it i love it i think it's just like i've always been the friend the type of friend to give advice to my friends okay i've never followed my never followed it myself which is annoying that's's so interesting isn't it? Let me move. But they always come to me and say like Liv I've got a boyfriend problem like just get rid of him it's fine.

Find a new one whatever. They're out there. But giving it versus taking it is very different. It's very different. I'm one of the oldest people in my workplace. And they're all like in the 19, 20 year olds. And they come to me like a mom figure. And I love that and hate that.

I love that, I'm like, oh, thank you so much. And also I'm 31 guys. I can't cut down. I'm still young. I'm still cool, okay? Let me show you my cool tattoos, okay? My cool moves, man. Brilliant.

Can I ask how, as 31 versus 21 is that you're 21 i'm 21 you're 22 yeah and i you know i want advice like where is that a big um jump from in your 20s we've got a lot of listeners who are in their 20s and they ask a lot about self-love and very honestly ask us as well yeah you know and we've navigated that together we live together as well so yeah you know we share a lot of things um was there a big gap for you between 21 and 31 and your journey with self-love humongous when i was 21 i was probably drinking heavily doing all sorts of illegal stuff living a best life guy i was not yeah i was self-harming unfortunately deep into this depression just winking life okay you know and to be 31 to be

nearly five years sober now to have be stable for a good year or so yeah it's it's like a different person wow i look i look at photos of my 21 year old self i don't recognize her really i don't remember i don't remember those years because with bipolar disorder you have really bad memory problems and almost the depression you kind of like it comes like a fog so i don't remember my 18th birthday my 21st birthday I just knew I was sad wow and so my birthday this year it was very chilled literally just got a takeaway I was happy yeah I was happy I was content like I wasn't fighting for perfection I wasn't trying to slim myself yeah I was I was enough in that moment and the biggest change i think it's just realizing that no matter what is going on with your life you are the only person who you

have from the moment you are born to the day you die it's that's your person yeah like regardless of whoever's in your life you are your own best friend you are the one person who'll be with you for all the shit stuff you're going to go through. All the illegal stuff. It's your person. You know, I try and almost kind of visualise myself as a different person. And why would I treat...

I would never go up to a person and go, that's horrible. Never. Even saying that was like, oh, no. Oh, that was so funny. But, like, you would never do that. do that if you visualize yourself as a different character you know it's a lot harder to go oh you know and to say the words i hate you this this almost being it's so hard yeah yeah yeah and i think that's a great message for

um the the women in their 20s going forward in life, whether it's career or relationships, friendships, being like, you have to really look at yourself and think, that's the person that you're relying on. And treat that person kindly and with love and compassion. If you are struggling with that, the best advice I can give you in this moment is get a picture of your younger self, 5 or 6 years old, put it on the mirror. I dare you to try and say something negative to that person. That's still you.

Wow. That's still you. That's so powerful. That's really powerful. Can I ask you, have you ever done that before? Many times. I'm sitting there crying. I'm like, I'm so sorry.

Wow. It's hard. You cannot say anything negative about this young child. Yeah. And then you realise, oh my God, that's still me. Yeah. How am I beating myself up that that's we're the same person here yeah it's so it's so hard and i'm sure it makes you reflect

on your own journey and think actually do you know what little live we've been through a lot and haven't we like done well you know i want to slap myself for really silly decisions i said to katie the other day i was watching home videos with my parents What is the day? That's what it's an episode. Yeah. I was saying, yeah. I said to Katie the other day, I was watching home videos with my parents and how at such a young age, I have a sister, at such a young age,

you see a personality and you're like, holy shit, like, look at me. You know, there was like a sass or, you know, a bit of anger on you. And you're like, how interesting. And that part of you of you shouldn't apologize for you know because you as you said earlier you grow up as a woman and if you're assertive you're bossy

yeah you know and if you're loud you're obnoxious so and i was definitely a loud child and i was definitely you know going on and quacking and i was called bossy and i was called you know obnoxious but you look back and think, actually, that's you. And don't let those comments. Would I say that to a young child? Of course not. I just wouldn't. That's a great activity.

Yeah. Especially being unapologetically yourself. Like when you said loving yourself, can like people will view as selfish. It's so interesting because I've had many moments, especially last year, where I really shifted in putting myself first. And that included me putting other people's feelings to the back burner where I was putting myself first and protecting myself. I felt like the worst person in the world. And it's one of those things that it can be so uncomfortable to do. But to recognize that it's not selfish.

And the people that will stay will stay a hundred percent yeah hundred percent they will yeah what's the biggest mental either kind of um game or uh technique you use to get on top of your self-love if you're feeling doubtful or uh on edge or or just in need of a bit of self-love so I am sitting about to my like childhood my grandma was very spiritual okay it's very we should call her like the woo-woo grandma I remember one time walk into a house I just got a fucking Ouija board in the table love her joy I mean like oh yeah yeah absolutely what you got that great podcast dating yes all things scary and then boo yeah yeah yeah so and then she was always kind of like believing in

like the high energy yeah hey I love that and like even before I was like I knew what manifestation was was like you know you have energy around you was like you've got lovely energy around you live and also that was also lovely to hear i think she had like a she's like a oh god grandma energy around her because she was so my grandma i love god bless your soul grandma she was the epitome of a strong woman oh. Strong, bossy, in your face, loud, iconic. Yeah. Would never mince her words, unfortunately. No.

We love women like that. Yeah. She was very hard of hearing on one night. I used to be like a carer for her, me and my mum were, and I was around her cooking her dinner

and James was near the room with her and I could hear her going, God, she's so bossy, isn't she? I was like, Grandma, I can hear you yeah my ears won't fly yeah and she's like I'm just talking to James I'm like yeah I can hear you yeah yeah I know who you're talking about yeah it's me it's the bossy one yeah but going back I think she kind of taught me about like energies and I think the more you put out the good energy, the more you receive.

Yes. And I felt like... You're talking to us. We love it. We love it. You couldn't have said anything better. Gold star. Yeah.

I just think if you're constantly being negative towards yourself, you're not going to get anything out of it. Is being negative to yourself gonna bring you joy no why not change the mindset 100 just try flip on yourself just instead of saying i feel really gross today say you know what i did a good job today at work change the mindset change those cogs and you'll find yourself you'll kind of like stand up taller yes i know you will because it's a physical it's a physical response to having good good like feedback yes once you've done a good job you go oh thank you

yeah you fill up oh that's really nice when someone says you're doing a shit job you go oh you know you hunch over yeah you're hiding in your head you want to like yeah but go into yourself yeah so give yourself good feedback it's it's an intro because it reminds me of a post i saw on instagram that says instead of apologizing for being late say thank you yes i love that yeah and it and it just flips it on its head it's stuff like that where once you express the gratitude yes it just doesn't feel like a self-sabotaging oh god i'm so sorry and then you fall down into that spiral of and but you're like thank you for waiting oh that is boss bitch and I love it almost that's how we for this you're waiting for someone to go I forgive you

yes someone to say I allow you to feel better about the situation what you say thank you for waiting for your control situation yes and it is it takes a long time to get that mind yeah absolutely I was 94 she was still doing with the Ouija board shit oh I like that kind of that energy that energy but that when she says you've got such an energy yeah mmm how empowering is that she was I mean I would always say she was her my mom are the most empowering bossy strong women like I mean

my grandma survived the war yeah I just think like are you an old grandma yeah excuse me you might have brought

your friends into work and be like that's old yeah wheeler in but yeah she was she was

me and my mum have this code word now so whenever I'm having a bad day I just go woo woo I'm like woo woo she's like think of grandma and i was like yeah you're right oh oh i love that it's almost like this and i always think to myself like i am made of my grandma my

mom my great grandma my dad why would i be mean about the ancestors that have made me who i am today that's yeah that's true yeah you're made up with of like so many different people in your life like literally many moons ago you're and also i want to say this the chance of you being born is one in 400 trillion that's wild one in 400 trillion chances and you'll be mean about yourself. Oh, wow. That is so real. It's true though. No, but you're so right.

I know, right? You're so right. I know. You're actually really good at this. Oh my gosh. It's true though. Why we spend so much time hating ourselves.

Yeah. It's a miracle we're here. Yeah. Enjoy every moment. Like life's too short. I know it feels like that all the time but it's so short to worry about know if it's out of time but it's so short to worry about a bit of fat on your hips yeah god it's so true yeah yeah it cares

no it comes down to the nitty-gritty stuff when you're on your deathbed i don't be saying just five pounds lighter i'm thinking god wish i'd wish i did this instead yeah yeah jumped off the you know the cliff and enjoyed my life more yeah yeah and with you saying you know it made me reflect on my own like family and stuff but with you saying all the strongest and most beautiful people in my life my grandma and my mom and all that kind of stuff and that's you as well yeah like that power and that strength that they have has made you and made you be able to influence a lot of people. And without them, you know, you wouldn't have been able to do that.

And that is pretty special. And I just thought, oh my gosh, you're so true. You know, you can look at all the people in your family and think, that jigsaw puzzle I've got and that little piece I've got as well. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's amazing.

Do you ever do the tar tarot cards love that shit the tiktok tarot readings that tell me i'm gonna meet the love of my life every five minutes but i know like now my mom has like an oracle deck oh and every time i ring her like i'm feeling really stressed she's like pull a card pull a card she was like I pulled an angel card this morning it was bang on just pull one and I've got my little booklet

so I always like shuffle them and pull a card whenever I'm feeling stressed and it's always spot on always spot on I love it so much I have like a box of crystals

I like I wear Windows 10 James is like what are those rocks I'm like don't you don't you talk to them that way he's still with me honestly I've got like a crystal charged sage spray

that's erotic I know literally the new year came in I was like let's cleanse this space I actually took it to an extreme so I have these like little crystals that like there was something big in my life so my mum got me them and she was like okay let's treasure

one of them was like for bravery and all of this kind of stuff. And the other one was just for like fulfillment and confidence. And anyway, I held them. And I saw this thing on TikTok saying like, if you sleep with your crystals, not sexually, guys. Like not sexually. You could if you are, but not. You have fun, okay. But if you sleep with your crystals under your pillow whatever

then they'll like seep into your being anyway i did for a few months i'm my poor boy every night i'd have them but and typical i'd wake up with them in his mouth he's like the only one benefiting here is me It's me. I was like, take them back. Men, I mean, God bless them. God bless them, but the crystals,

I don't understand. The crystals, I've never, I've never spoken to a man who's got the crystals. No, I haven't. Never. You've got our other

male housemate, a crystal. Because he, he's a boozer. So I said, look, why don't we get a Christopher's self-control, the black onyx.

No, yeah, I love that. So I put it next to his bedside table, not as passive aggressive, but as supportive. You know, I was like,

look, let's all support one another. Yes. I said, is it helping? No. I was like, he's Scottish.

No. I would hope so. Well, the accent was a lot. No. And I was like, well, you just need to believe in it.

It's like, you need to seep in the energy i was like boys come on come on i just can't i just can't grasp it yeah okay so we've covered um how you can mentally support your self-love but we're gonna play a little game for how you can physically support yourself love. Sex. Yes. We could have sex now. No, no, it's this kind of podcast. Yeah. Okay, so we're gonna put headphones on you. Okay.

And we're gonna play your favorite music which you told us earlier. What is it Liv? What is your favorite music? It's your time. Jason Derulo. Yes. Jason Derulo.

Yes. You know, I don't have shame, but a lot of things for this I have shame about. Oh, never. Well, if this is your only shame, you're doing well. What we're going to do is we have written down some of your favourite physical ways to express self-love. And we are going to whisper them to you.

Oh, no. While you have these headphones off. Okay. And see if you get them. Okay. Because you can recognise self-love, but you get them because you can recognise self love but let's see if you can recognise it on these lips let's see

right, put those on gotta make sure it's playing or she could cheat and I've got, now I've got this oh Ashley this is my favourite Jason Derulo song so I'm really hoping that it that you can agree, let's see agree, agree is it play

live in a mess live okay for the listeners it is wiggle feet snoop dog fantastic now katie we're gonna do some asmr i'm gonna whisper you ready the first one is dance around in lingerie that's my laundry point to you well done okay move your body move your body yes well done talk to talk to a loved one she's practicing in the mirror okay treat yourself treat yourself like like a best friend well done smash it you can take that fantastic enjoying the wiggle could you explain those to us like tell us all about that theory they sound so simple but i think in the long run they're just great tips and tools to kind of best you know your mental health yeah but your self-love like the dancing you and do everything people looking like i'm absolutely crazy crackers like well if you never see i'm like i heard they do yeah i hope they do

you actually put a story on the other day saying someone said like i was so strange for doing this and then you did it more yeah yeah yeah i just think like there's nothing more empowering if you put on a good playlist please i love her and put some into it and i'll you'll feel like a bad bitch in no time no truly i actually like i've said this to you before i i remember the most recent time i did it i had a fresh as i'm on a masters at the moment and i feel like i don't know about you but i feel like the older i get the worse i am socially um so yeah so i literally was like oh my god like i need to try and like be outgoing and the most confident version of myself and i remember i got ready and i was just dancing around to lizzo in me undies and i thought did it make you feel better yeah because you're kind of

almost like this is so silly but it's fabulous yeah yeah like sometimes i love just doing a little wiggle because you're like we're so silly it's also like when you go out for dinner or something and you're just not feeling it and you're like oh what am i doing like and then you fully get ready and you put the music on you're like oh god i feel like that energy yes if you're kind of bringing this like positive happy like dancey energy yeah if you might my, if you imagine you're walking into a room and you've got your shoulders down, you're looking at your phone, you don't look approachable.

If you're walking, like, shoulders back, head high, like, hi. You're approachable. People want to talk to you. So, if you're struggling to walk into a room with confidence, just pretend. Pretend. Pretend you're fucking

give me an actress Margot Robbie thank you I was thinking Meryl Streep Margot Robbie yeah not Meryl Streep

she's very good yeah Meryl Streep she's fantastic yeah and just embody that energy of like this is your role you're an actress

in a role you're about to win a role yeah about to win a golden globe oh lovely pretend fake it lovely do the miley cyrus yes just won my first grammy i love her so much and i love the confidence she was like why is everyone acting like they don't I watch it like so I feel like I'd want to grab you too it's like so good and I love the confidence she was like why is everyone acting like they don't know the song I was like oh you're so good

she's the girl boss of self-love oh lovely and the treat yourself like a best friend what do you mean by that so basically like I mentioned before like if you know we've all got a best friend or someone that we can rely on you would never talk to them the way you talk about yourself okay you never say to them god you are really you're not good enough i would never

ever first of all my best friend kate would batter me yeah i'd allow that and secondly it's just rude so why do we talk about it to ourselves? Treat yourself like you would a loved one. You found your parents, your partner, your best friend. With the same respect and kindness you give everybody else, bring it back to yourself. Lovely. I love it.

That's very nice. That's so nice. Honestly, it's like taking yourself on a date. I love it. Solo dates. I love a solo date. What's your favourite solo date that you do? It has to be for food. Yes.

I love for food. I went for pancakes earlier. Oh! Love it. Oh my god, I love pancakes. We were saying what our go-tos are with the toppings. I'm a sweet kind of girl. Yeah.

I don't think I've ever gotten a savoury pancake. No. Why are you doing that? Do you know what that is? That's such a male thing. My dad always has a savoury pancake. See, I always, I'm like a lemon sugar. Interesting. But I do love... that is that's such a male thing my dad always has a very yeah yeah yeah see i always i'm i'm like a lemon sugar interesting but i do love she's like i don't agree but there's a thing you suck

yeah worst choice ever worst choice ever there's a pancake van that used to be really elusive actually near where we live that would always manage to be there when kitty went but when i wanted to go it was never there um so it was they come no truly like i'd come i'd be like i'm ready for the pancakes and they're like we're not here today we're here next weekend and i'm like guys and i'm oh every time i'm like give them to me nutella and marshmallow cream and i'm like oh it's delightful fantastic delight they are so yummy move your body is that like um what do you mean by that physical i've recently got into walking okay yes love a good hot girl walk love a hot girl walk don't we remember yeah i feel like i'm not talking for a fucking marathon

because god knows i'm not gonna be doing that this year yeah yeah but just gentle movement in the fresh air yeah the bit of sunshine if you if you can if you're the sun is shining yeah boost vitamin d there's some dolphins yeah because i call them in dolphins because i don't know how to autocorrect you know but dolphins are so happy so it works yeah delightful creatures they are yeah and one more time ready thank you oh Liv you can stare love it I do so get you though because if you feel a bit

especially we always say when we're on our period oh the good times we always yeah the good times best week of life and you think you sit in bed

and you think do you know what no Katie I'm like we're just gonna sit here but when you do get out you're like oh I actually feel a lot better do you know what I mean do you ever remember like in PE when your sit here but when you do get out yeah you're like oh I actually feel a

lot better do you know what I mean do you ever remember like in PE when your teachers would be like you'll feel when I'll be oh god my really bad cramps I can't do pizza you'll be better for movie I'm like you're full of shit and then I do it and then you're like oh wow yeah Catherine I love you literally doing cross-country like you're're right I do love actually even when it rains though going for a walk I feel like the main character in a movie fantastic I have to make a decision

you know when it's like that point in the movie where they're like who's going to choose what's going to happen I'm just walking around like so mysterious like Twilight

I'm like no one knows my story that's so unique main character what is your main character song what's the soundtrack to your current life oh my god oh my gosh oh my god this is a really good question i don't know that's for me and i'm going to say something recently so nervous Oh God. Profound. Quickly.

Listen to it. I've been on an Arctic Monkeys vibe recently. And 505 by Arctic Monkeys. It kind of kicks in. There's like a bit of a beat drop. And again, I'm walking over the bridge. And it's like, And I crumble completely when you cry.

And I'm like, I feel like this is the establishing shot of like a fun rom-com. I'm like, I always feel very much like a frazzled english woman vibe you know like bridget jones kind of just like trying to get stuff falling out my bag yeah and i feel like that playing while i'm walking around i'm like oh everyone thinks i'm hot shit right now oh i love i tell you one of my favorites is that you know the i I think it's a Carrie Underwood where it's like, and I dug my keys into the sand. And it's a real jam. And I'm like, I come back home, I'm like, Archie, I hate you.

Yeah, you're a dick to me. Yeah, I was like, how could you do that? I was like, ugh. Yeah, he's like, what? He's like, I love you so much. I'm like, not right now. That's gay. I'm angry, okay? Yeah, literally, gay. Yeah. I'm angry, okay?

Yeah, definitely, yeah. Okay, take us away, Katie. What's our next step? Overall, across all platforms, you are offering advice and support to over 219,000 and a half people. Oh, Jesus. That is almost a quarter of a million people.

Ooh. Which is what, that's like, that's like the O2 stadium. Oh my God. Like, I can't even quick maths that. That's like that's like the o2 stadium oh my god like i can't even quick maths that that's like six times over or something because that's you've got your own era star you could fill that up with the amount of people that follow you that's insane seriously so do you ever feel pressure because of this and where do you find your comfort and support when you find

it overwhelming i do feel pressure because i find it i feel like i have to have the right answers and all the advice at the right time james is a really good grounding technique for me i'm like having a fluster moment i'm like oh my god yeah i describe myself as kermit the Frog. I love it. It's in the meme where he's like, meh. Yes. Me. Me. He's like, you're right. I'm like, oh God,

yes. Please help me. He's very, he's very much like a realist pessimistic person. Okay. He's not pessimistic in terms of like,

oh no, eeyore. Yes. He's just realistic. So if I say to him like, oh, I'm not good enough. He's like,

well, who's told you that i'm like no one forward isn't it yeah the point james is yeah you need that in your life you do need that you do and i think he's very good at being like realistic like he's almost like says to me like are you correct was your brain telling you this because i'll say to him like i just don't feel happy today i feel a bit ugly he'll go has someone told you this what's your brain told you this I'm like my brain says well I'm telling you this I think beautiful it's a really good way of like grounding me and making me think okay maybe i'm just

having a come at the frog moment yeah i love that yeah sorry do you ever find it hard as well um because i can assume people come to you with their own um struggles and their own concerns do you ever find that hard to kind of not take that on in many ways i've always said to people i'm not a professional yeah i'm just a girl who's gone through the same kind of things as other people have. I would always advise them to ring the Samaritans, which I've done before, which are fantastic. Fantastic charity.

Mine do amazing as well. Reach out to someone who's near you. Because there's no point messaging me from Australia. I can't be like, oh, come in now. On the way yeah but just I'm always gonna be there for them I think in terms of the darker moments there are professionals out there who can provide you the right support yes yeah absolutely and you spoke about um James being a really big support to you and we we're to play another little game um so we're gonna play another game you spoke about the support that you get from other people

um and we did a bit of research about how people have found they've got self-love from other people as well. And the top three things that they said they received from other people that made their self-love easier to do was the first one was laughing with you. Yeah. The second one was listening to you. Yeah. And the third one was involving you. And the little game we're gonna

play is we're gonna do snog marry avoid now marry is i could not live without this if the people around me did not do this with me snog is now and again yeah you give it to me and that's cool avoid is oh i don't need that yeah or i need it less than the others okay that's how you feel listening to me is Mary. Oh, lovely. I think listening to me, like actually listening to my words and like not just respond, not just waiting for your turn to talk.

Okay. Is a huge thing to me. Yeah. Don't involve me. It's fine. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

It's all good. You can avoid being involved. Don't worry. And it's all good you can avoid being involved um i'm laughing snog yeah like all the snogs a lot of snogs yeah i completely agree with you i put that in the category and the listening is such a huge one because huge it's like when you listen and talk to someone but are you listening are you actively listening to you mate or are you nodding thinking oh what should i do later or like yeah oh oh, my eyelashes. Or waiting for a turn to go, actually, I've done this, I've done that. Yeah. Yeah.

And one of the biggest things as well that I always find with my boyfriend is if I tell you an issue or a problem or a concern, I don't need a solution right away. I'm just telling you because I need to tell you. Yeah. You know, and I feel like I need to get it off my chest. That's a man thing though. Men are designed to fix things. Solutions.

Yes. Women are designed to kind of, they're more emotional support. Men are like, right, DIY, how can I fix this? It's like,

no, no, you can't. What are you going to do to fix this? I'm like, nothing at the moment. I'm just telling you. And they're like,

oh God. Yeah. What do I do? How do I fix that? Yeah. You can't. Because I actually saw a TikTok, right?

Yeah. Because I'm on, I'm on the, literally I'm like, I read an article. Yeah. I saw a tiktok right yeah because i'm i'm on jesse i'm i'm on the literally i'm like i read an article yeah i saw something like if you want a guy to be more interested in you come to him with an issue that he can solve and then it's like saving a damsel in distress kind of like psychological thing wow it was wild that is what people were commenting and they were like yeah had this but this works so well like if you come being like oh i can't fit could you fix this for me and they're

like yes yes i can yeah i'll take it on on a subconscious level they're like more attracted to you because they see you as a damsel in distress oh i know wild right i know i know yeah i've got this thank you yeah fine yeah yeah so it's like my feet could use myself yeah i could use with their 500 dollars yeah i'm damsel now yeah yeah how about you what category would you put it in i would say the same i would say it's a hard one because i feel like i'm laughing and listening i hold in a very similar regard but i would say you you want to be listened to you do you feel like you were going insane if you were just saying the same things and they're like what so i would say listening laughing again i don't

need to be involved as long as i know you like me like don't call me as long as we're like as long as we're good you yeah you go enjoy yourself. You do you. Don't be bored. I mean, that is so true with Katie as well. We both talk about how we need our own space. And like, we obviously live together as well. But Katie's very much like, we did halls together as well.

We went to drama school. And we used to call them Katie breaks because we'd all be in a group like having fun. And Katie'd be like, off to the loo. And I'd be like. I'd go find her. Like, where is she? And she'd literally be in her room.

I shit you not, she wasn't on her phone. She would, main character again. She's got her song on. Yeah. Looking out the window like this. And she'd have a timer on her phone of 25 minutes. And I'd be like, Katie, are you okay? She's like, I need my time.

We asked the listeners if they had any dilemmas that we wanted you to answer. She's going to be like, I killed a man last night. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Like, what are you going to do about that, Liv? Like, I'll have to fix it. Yeah. I'll have to get the men involved because they fixed everything. Yeah.

Command problem. So, hey, gals. I hope you're having a good Monday. I'm glad you've got Liv on the podcast as I need her advice about something. That's nice. I've recently just become single after being in a six-year relationship from 20. So that's quite... Six years.

From 20 as well. From 20. They're like defining years. Yeah. That's scary. And as you said earlier about the jumps, like from to 31 like you change a lot okay i'm now going on a lot of dates however i found myself doubting myself on these dates and even apologizing for things i do or say i was never like this before but all of a sudden i feel like i've lost my own sense of my worth and

confidence now i'm single i know it sounds silly but it's actually really annoying me because i don't want to lose that part of myself who knows her worth but i can't shake this feeling my ex and i are on good terms nothing bad happened we've just grown apart and he's a lovely guy thanks girls i can't wait to get some guidance please keep me anonymous love you oh love you too but i've just got a hook oh yeah, yeah. That's hard. It is hard, I think, because, like, those defining years. Yeah. I feel like in your 20s, like, I've been with James now for 16 years, Christ. Wow.

And, like, in your 20s, you kind of almost become, like, a couple rather than just James and Liv. You become James and Liv. Yes. You know. So I would suggest take yourself out on solo dates. Find out about yourself. You spent like six years in a relationship. What do you enjoy?

Yeah. Great advice. What do you enjoy? What do you like doing? And, you know, have your dates. That's fine. Yeah. But have some youth time.

Date yourself again. Date yourself again yourself again yes that's so important well fantastic advice and i think you know when the live in james yeah you are so defined by that yeah and that can be hard so when you come out of relation my sister's recently come out of a relationship she's been in relationships for years you know she hasn't ever really been single and she's navigating that and she's you know finding the the trickeries and oh my gosh now i'm me you know what does lily mean you know what's it oh god who am i you know and i think that that dilemma i think we should reassure her

that yeah it isn't universal just to her i think other people feel that too 100 but that's great fantastic advice yeah date yourself find yeah prioritize that um sorry to interrupt no your worth is not defined by someone you're dating yes your worth comes from something deep inside you you do not need someone to complete you you're enough as you are yes but you But you need to realise that. You need to realise that. Yeah. You. No. Thank you. I do, I do. I needed that. Whenever you have a bad day,

we'll be like, Liv, could you say that again? Yeah, okay. Honestly, but it is one of those things you find that I remember, like,

I've been single for quite a while and the, trying to go online and trying to be, I find myself often comparing being like, there are so many people I know who are dating, dating, dating and I can't find dates myself often comparing being like there are so many people i know who are

dating dating dating and i can't find dates and then you're like what what's wrong with me what's and i'm yes and it's so easy and i think especially coming out of a relationship i remember the last relationship i was in i then was just completely went into a cave i was like no man ah that's quite scary and i feel like i'm just crawling out of that now it's a really hard one that you almost want to get back on the horse yeah but you also want to be like i'm okay by myself yeah absolutely trying to balance that i think it's really interesting yeah it's so true i think you need to find out who you are because you spent so many so many years with someone else.

I feel like, even though I've been with James for so many years, I like having my solo dates. Lovely. I need to have my solo dates without him just going on about silly skateboarding shit. I just need to have a time for me. Yeah. I am the most important person in my life. Yeah, you are.

He's the second. Yeah. Maybe the third. Fourth. He's up there. Ninth. He's in that realm so yeah doubt yourself but you also wouldn't be able to be there for those important people if you if you weren't looking after yourself as well yeah lovely yeah lovely lovely let's quote that let's quote that okay um no but thank you that was great advice and i hope that helps to our lovely listener and of course we'll keep you anonymous always um okay so let's go on to our final little bit okay so we always ask x um to our guests but

also to each other yeah um we usually do it's the way but when we have a guest on we do x for specific things um so our specific x are stereotypes or opinions that are outdated or unrealistic when referring to self-love okay what are your x and before we go into them we have to do an x sound so we say x in an icky way and i'm sorry love but you're gonna have to do it with us okay okay you ready three two one fantastic it's always a hit and miss when we have a gas we think god please get the vibe yeah brilliant okay i think my biggest ick is thinking it's gonna come tomorrow as in you're gonna be you're gonna wake up tomorrow be like i am self-loved yes no it's a journey it's a long process and it's okay to make mistakes in self-love it's okay to think you know i'm not having a good day today i'm gonna have a bed day i'm gonna rot

in bed like the rat i am that's fine as well yeah that's fine universal you know it's fine what yoricks oh that's a lovely it's hard it's really hard yeah i think the the time stamp was of great um i think being an ick of you have to be a certain way to love yourself oh yeah by that i mean i mean there are so many things on tiktok but it but the reference i'm making is to be um have the clean girl aesthetic or to do this routine to do pilates every week that that will help your self-love yeah it's like everyone is so different yeah and the things that make me feel good are not going to make you feel good or you feel good for me

that makes you feel fantastic and I think an ick is it's again going to the comparing don't compare yourself to their routine yeah or Liv does this I must do that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know my advice and because that also may not be able to fit in your routine exactly of your schedule or your life or even financially you might well i can't pay for parties every week so you know um how about you what did you think i think mine would be that it has to be so um performative or has to be so um i'm doing this and I'm going to be larger than life and that means I've got self love and I'm very self

confident I think self love can be something that can make you quite uncomfortable doing things that are uncomfortable and having to put yourself in scenarios that you usually wouldn't because what's comfortable isn't serving you lovely so I think it's just really lovely so I think lovely it's just nice

point really thank you thank you I think it's just all the show she did a really good job there it's just yeah the assumption that you have to a confident person can look so different in so many ways and doing things that are uncomfortable can actually be the highest form of self-love yeah yes that's so true yes yeah that is completely true putting it as a goal post when i achieve this i will be confident which i think i've definitely done in the past yeah i think that's everything like yeah i'll be happy when i have xyz yes no you probably won't yeah find happiness within the now yeah i have a question for you girls oh Oh my God, I'm scared. I'm really scared.

I'm like, watching your fucking girls. I'm like, Liv, we asked the questions. This is scary. Okay, I'm excited. What's the hardest thing you've learned about yourself during your self-love journey? Or the most important thing you've learned about yourself?

Confidence. Yeah. I think it's something that I've said before on the podcast but something that I've struggled with for years and years is I feel like I used to make myself very small to fit others and um always be there for other people but kind of realize other people weren't necessarily there for me but I always felt that's kind of what I deserved I was like the helper yeah um and recently i mean since meeting you as well you're such a headstrong woman um and the way you assert yourself i feel like learning that asserting myself and saying actually that hurt my feelings because i would always just

brush my own feelings under the rug um to not make them feel like they've upset me yeah you've grown haven't you yeah so actually going no that's not right and that's upsetting me isn't a selfish thing and isn't going to cause that person to be like well fuck you then it's boundary yeah absolutely i think i think um one of the most difficult things i i went through something recently like medically and obviously like you know and stuff and it was like such a big part of my life and I was like scared that if you know like once it been once something had happened like will people see me differently will I view myself differently like all this kind of stuff and I didn't and well I did in a certain way but in like the best possible

way and and also in like a relationship I was scared of will this change what you think of me and and I think with my whole self-love journey it's like god you know what it what actually matters is what you think of yourself why am I stressing for myself yeah when in my heart I'm like you go girl you know like I think you're amazing and I'm like yeah listen to her because she doesn't matter yeah you know that little smiley face doesn't matter so I think it's accepting that oh my god of course you're gonna have days like don't get me wrong i do think oh my god if i upset you you know of course i don't do that i think did i piss you off there yeah yeah that is gonna happen of course it is but but to reassure yourself that life goes

on you're not gonna crumble you know um, so our last bit of the session, we always end on our questions. So our serious question and our silly question. Yay! You've got to go into life with a bit of silly. Silly. Stay silly.

I can't remember who's got which. I think I've got silly. I've got serious. You hit us with the serious then. So my serious question is, if there was a time where you wish you stood up for yourself more or had more confidence

would you go back to it and rectify it with how like would you approach it differently if you could go back and redo the scenario lovely no i wouldn't i feel like everything that's happened in my life has come to as made me who i am today absolutely why would i it's like the butterfly effect yeah it changed one thing it changed the course of my entire life yeah obviously I'd love to go back in time and change a million things I've done I wouldn't be here today without those mistakes those moments those conflicts you know absolutely I'm happy with that I'm happy with everything part of my life has meant is every absolute reason yeah I'm meant to have gone through those things and also be here today I would

not change it no and I completely agree the things with I mean I don't know if those specific examples but everything happens for a reason and and it happens so that you can build up that knowledge of how you get through it and you know and without that how would you know exactly yeah um okay so my still way still my question here we go okay it's good it's good would you rather okay when you're having a bit of a moment like a self-doubt moment okay would you rather your favorite like bad bitch anthem maybe it's jason derulo okay it's not sorry jason your fate you're having a bit of a moment like oh god self-doubt and whenever you have this moment of self-doubt your bad bitch anthem yours you're specifically bad bitch anthem comes on throughout the whole world so there is like a universal boom system. So everyone hears it.

Like if you're right now, it comes on and we're all like, oh. Oh, there's a bandana. Oh, yeah. Twice today.

Right. Not again, really. No one knows it's yours specifically. So they're not like, oh, Liv's feeling bad. This just comes on and everyone's like,

whether they're at the office or everyone hears this. Wow. Or you're having the same feelings, a bit of self-doubt. Five people in your life, doesn't have to be family doesn't have you know just people in your life hold banners up a full love actually moment hold banners up of things about you that they love okay and so single words so it could be your kindness yeah or um your positivity and they just stand wherever you are so you might be in bed you look out your bedroom window they're all there i'd be concerned i've watched too many horror films

i'm sorry i'm like right i love them both, but I think if I could have the first one, but just for me. Ah, okay. I think just because, like, I'm a headphone user through and through. There's nothing more empowering than a moment to yourself. I'm like, duh. And you're like, I'm better than you. It's so funny. That's lovely i do like the idea of having someone else in my bedroom window holding a sign

yeah genuinely that's so fun but it's so it's so like personal because i even asked this question to you and my boyfriend later earlier and like you were both so distinct on your own answer yeah he was like 100% the banners I was like love ya you know and you were like you were the music like 100 yeah music you know um but yeah every time we see you we're gonna have to just have you little anthem there yeah yeah playing your anthem gotta keep you feeling good yeah can we ask maybe what's one of your bad bitch anthem song there's a one song jericho by a sing called iniko and it's this very empowering song and and it's their their pronouns are they then okay and they sing about how they are higher than space they're made from all their ancestors they don't there's a line which i love it says i don't need gravity

i just need growth i was like fuck i love that i mean like you know you don't, there's a line which I love that says, I don't need gravity, I just need growth. I was like, fuck, I love that. Me like, you know, you don't need to be held down to be raised up.

I was like, I love that. It's such a beautiful song. I recommend, if you're listening out there to this podcast, listen to the song. It's just so empowering.

I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm lifted. I'm like, yeah! It's so good. Oh, that's so lovely. We just wanted to thank you so much for today.

Of course, thank you for having me. We've absolutely loved you. We've been talking about it for the last few weeks. Can't wait to lift! Can't wait! This is going to be so fun. And you are so good. Honestly.

And your energy, your presence. Thank you for being so warm and welcoming. And you know, it's always a scary thing when we have a guest on but um you've been absolutely amazing thank you so much and it's so chaotic i love it oh i loved it and this is i hope you love live i know you're so excited for her to come on the podcast and um have a fantastic monday and week love you guys let's wave them off you ready Love you guys. Let's wave them off. You ready? Bye. Bye. Bye everybody.

Toodle-oo.