The Debrief - Kinks, Temptations & A Shitty Situation

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

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🎵 Morning! Hello guys! Good morning guys! Have you slept well? Oh, I bet they have. Have we had good rest? Of course they have.

Oh yeah! Positive changes in the studio. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Some R.E.M. Peach, tell me a mantra of this week, absolutely. Absolutely. Some O-E-M. Peach, tell me a mantra of this week, please. My mantra is so short but sweet, you actually might miss it. Oh, go on.

It is, it's not that deep. Mine's quite similar. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. Why am I getting, borrowing myself like a little mole into the depths of my thoughts when it's not that deep why am i getting borrowing myself like a little mole into the depths of my thoughts that is yeah that's great it's not it's not that deep and it's one of those things that you have to say to yourself to put things into perspective yeah you know like you're stressing what am i

gonna wear like what am i gonna wear am i gonna it's not like it's not at the end of the day it's not like at the end of the day we're just going to Sainsbury's. Yeah. Yeah, genuinely. But like I was saying to Arch the other day, and he made a really good point. So obviously my 21st party's coming up. I am 21 now though, guys. Over the hill. Over the hill.

Joy and may. The hills are alive with the sound of me. Yeah. But Arch said I was like stressing about what I'm going to wear and stuff he was like at the end of the day

Kit people are there for you not for what you are and I was like it's so true it's so true which leads me

onto my mantra my mantra is no one cares so fuck it enjoy it oh I like that because it's so true and do. Oh, I like that.

Because it's so true. We're on the same wavelength. Yeah, and do you know why I got that? Because Katie and I went out clubbing on the weekend and we went with one of our favourite people. I fucking love that. Charlotte, our sister. Oh, Charlotte. And she was a weapon.

She was an absolute weapon. We were pissing ourselves. But when she's in the club, she fully goes for it. And when I say goes for it, you might as well call her, she, when she's in the club, she fully goes for it. And when I say goes for it, you might as well call her like, P Diddy. Like, she's P Diddy in the club.

She is P Diddy in the club. And she, she did not give a shit. No, she didn't. And I, she was doing like her own version of dressage in the club. Like,

she was, she goes for it, like whips her hair around, blah, blah, blah. And Katie was kind of watching like, ah,

and she just went to Katie. Katie, no one cares. She was like, no one cares. No one cares how you're dancing. So then I was doing dressage in the club. And then Katie did dressage. Because no one gives a shit. It's so true though.

No one cares. And if they care like, but they're not caring. Everyone else is caring about what they're wearing. Exactly, what they look like. What they're doing, what they look like. So if you're like having the time of your life go you and everyone else if anyone's looking

at you having too much fun they're just fucking jealous yeah but it's true I wish I could join in but here I am

with a bunch of boring people if you're being judged they're jealous it's so true if they're like oh that's so embarrassing you're jealous

my song of the week is break my stride ain't nothing gonna bring myide. Ain't nothing gonna bring my stride. Ain't nothing gonna slow me down. I've got to. Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder. Yeah. Great song. And I love the song of it. Last night I had the strangest dream. Have a little robot to find you. I mean, great. It's so good. And I think Break My Stride is the debrief. Actually, it's going to bring me down.

Yeah. Hot shit. Yeah. Fucking hot shit around me. Absolutely. How about you? What's yours? Mine's actually been quite feminine, quite sexy.

Oh, go on. Mine is Lingerie by Lizzo. Oh, I don't know that one. Oh, it's on her Cause I Love You album. And it's... I don't know that one oh it's on her Cause I Love You album and it's

so I lounge around in my lingerie and I'm like yeah me in my moose pyjamas I'm like is it a new song no it's off her

first album oh I haven't heard that one I'll go back to this so I've heard this thing that says when you get ready to access your inner feminine power, you need to dance by yourself. Wow.

Like sexy dance by yourself when you're getting ready. I do that sometimes if I'm in my outfit. So where you just kind of like bop out by yourself, you become a bit more confident into a social scenario because you're literally, like, just dancing by yourself and you're loving yourself. That's probably... You're laughing at yourself. You're having a great time.

So sometimes... I'll be doing it at yours. Yeah. I'm like, I'm going to the bathroom. Yep. Tits akimbo. I'm grinding on the bloody tap. Yeah.

But it's... I really enjoy it. I love having a little boogie to myself before I head out because then I think it just reminds me to not be as nervous because I'm just stay silly. Stay silly. Stay silly, girls. Stay silly.

Best way to be. Let's debrief. Love it. Okay. So the first thing we have debrief on. I'm 21! Guys, I'm in the studio, a year older, a year wiser. A year wiser. I can't believe it. I have the best day ever. Archie's taking me to Vienna. Can't wait. Slow down, you crazy child. It's so ambitious for a new world. I'm gonna, can't wait. Slow down, you crazy child. It's so ambitious for a dual.

It's crazy, everyone's been sending me out lovely messages and all of that saying, God, welcome to adulthood. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, what do you mean adulthood? Like that makes me shit myself. I'm like, am I supposed to be like? Putting a mortgage down?

Yeah. Yeah. Did you not? But what does... No. When you turn 21... No, I didn't. You apply for a credit card and you put a mortgage down. Yeah, that's what you do.

Yeah. But what does adulthood actually mean? Oh, that's a deeper question. But genuinely, what does that mean? That's a deep... Does that mean your parents never chip in anything for you? The more... Because I'm fucked.

The more I realise, like like you know the older you get when you start to like get to know your parents as people and then you realize that all parents are just like us are just you but older and also trying to like figure it out as they go well it's mad when it's terrifying when you're younger you see your parents as these absolute philosophers or oracles of knowledge. You're like Oracle at Delphi. They know exactly what world to go. They know the answer to everything. Then you grow up. And as you said, you see them as people.

But not only is that, you see them as people. Do I like those people? Which is a really harsh reality. It's a really harsh reality. But it's like these people that I've that I'm now grown up and they have their own opinions do I get on with you yeah

and thankfully I love my parents absolutely they are the best people on the earth yeah but you see them and you're like

are we do we vibe it's like it's like a day are we vibing right now are we vibing like would I choose to hang out with you

in the world yeah it's crazy it's mad isn't it I saw a um tweet that said just remember your parents are your parents are experiencing life the same life as you are yeah you can't judge them for not always getting it right yeah you can't because they're still like on earth too yeah do you feel different I do feel when I woke up I actually was for the

first time in my life shocked that I felt different you know people have said when I'm 18 do you feel different I'm like not really like not right do you feel no whereas 21 I was like do you know what I'm really excited for my life oh I love my life I'm excited for my future I can see so many things happening we've had a cracking week in the sense of career wise people reaching out that meeting that we have next monday you know just such great things on the horizon that i'm just like i'm shimmying my way through open doors yeah doors are open you don't you don't even slide through them make fucking shimmy how did you feel on your 21st

did you feel different did you get any of the welcome to adulthood i didn't actually i did feel quite different i remember i remember being like oh my god like because i feel like 18 you're like oh my god i'm 18 19 you're like still a teenager 20s i find a bit of a age because then you're like, oh, I'm not a teenager anymore. So 21, you're like, oh, I'm into it now. I'm here. Every single guy I love. I love those. My mother tells me

how it was when I came out of her vagina. She's like, so this time. Last year, I had a little cramp. Your father was sat next to me watching Sense and Sensibility.

Yeah. You know, I wasn't quite ready. And then she's like, this time, you know, I was pushing you out. She sent me a hilarious voicemail. She was like, hey. And she was like, hey time, you know, I was pushing you out. She sent me a hilarious voice.

She was like, hey. And she was like, hey, girl. Happy birthday to you. She was like, I pushed you out of my vagina. And then you came out with a really, like, optimistic face. And I just knew you were a bore of positivity. I was like, mum, thanks. Yeah.

Thanks, girl. I love it. But I'm going to have to do this to my own kids now. No, because I'm going to do it to my own kids. I'm going to be like. Because if I had to push a human being out my fucking vaheen, they'd know about it. They'd know about it.

Oh, 100%. Every single day. My poor vaheen is like... Me and my mum have had conversations where she's like, can you take the bins out, me little shit? And she's like, I pushed you out my vagina. I gave you life. Yeah, yeah. you can take the fucking

bins out and i'm like fair no but absolutely fair i was like needed that i honestly respect any woman that has ever given birth i'm literally like you're incredible i'd be terrified i'd be absolutely terrified you have a growing human being inside of you you are the bravest and most strongest woman empowering so must be so empowering. So empowering. To give birth. Like, to hold a baby and be like, I made this. You grew that and you got it out.

I made this. It's so, what? It is incredible. Horrifying. And the fact that they do it and then they choose to do it again. No. I mean, your mother chose to do it three times. But the thing is, though, apparently you forget.

Yeah. I bet you have so much love that you're like oh should we do it again mothers writing do you how quickly do you forget because apparently the hormones like rush through you to the point where it literally is like you give birth it comes out pain's gone yeah i think especially young mums you're so brave yeah you're so brave i mean everyone's brave to have a child and there's no hierarchy I think all mothers are such they're taking on the biggest job you could possibly take to be a mother to have kids I mean to look to keep a baby alive

oh my god I don't terrifying yeah I can't believe how much your body changes I mean my cousin I'm gonna do a shout out here. When she was pregnant, really pregnant, I mean, I think she was quite near to birth because her tummy was big. She did a sexy photo shoot on the beach. Oh, I love that. She got fully naked. Oh, I love that.

And it was so elegant and classy. There was nothing tacky about it. But she, full breasts, you know, full tummy. And she, stunning. and there are some beautiful ones in black and white i mean what a beautiful thing to do and thing just to show your body it's what you want to do beautiful yeah you know these stretch marks can't pull me down this it's so empowering yeah it really is so like you're growing a human you're growing a human do you know how impressive that is yeah should we get on to katie's biggest news of the week oh my god guys guys guys guys guys i met my husband katie

has met her husband and i know the universe is gonna bring us back together i met this guy we went on a night out on saturday night he was gorgeous he was gorgeous he was fit he was he was good looking he was fit but better than that but boy oh boy did he have the chat yes and i am getting wooed usually casey will speak to a few guys and then literally just turn around and walk by and she's like now dead chat or like dead chat nah can't be arsed she was there for like a good 15 minutes it's like oh my god she hasn't come back we were chatting she was laughing the hair was twiddled we were genuinely sat there like having a lovely lovely chat then we get separated from the group i come back and feel a tap on my shoulder who is it but my hubby my club boyfriend that's what i respect we talk about making the first move that That is what I respect.

He came back for you. He came back for me. So Katie went off to get a drink and she thought it was the end. She was like, I'm going to go get a drink. He didn't follow. That was a downfall.

He didn't follow. So I was like, oh, he's not interested. He's not interested as much as I am. That's a shame. That's a shame. But then he came back and was like,

tapped Katie on the shoulder and he was like, what did he say? He was like, don't go running away from me now. And I was like, what did he say he was like don't go running away from me now and i was like he bought me a drink we were having the kisses and the cuddles katie got a proper girl i got a proper girl she was in Joe and he was wearing a cap.

You. Now. Hello you. Maybe it's a sign that you got saved. Maybe I was in love. And there's no hiding that. There's no hiding that. I mean I'm a Pisces after all. My imagination, I was already planning our first holiday. Yeah I literally went up to Katie I was like how's it going? Like did you know how is he? Are you having fun? She was like I'm in love. She said I literally went up to Katie, I was like, how's it going? Like, you know, how is he? Are you having fun?

She was like, I'm in love. She said, I'm in love with this man. Not to be dramatic. And I was like, is it love? She was like, yes. Not to be dramatic. Because I could see us going on dates, I could see it being a real potential thing.

She goes, it's a real shame, Kitty. I said, why? And she says, because he's going travelling in October. I was like, real shame. How are we gonna- She's already planning it out. She was like, I'd be heartbroken. How are we gonna- She's already bloody out. She's like I'd be heartbroken. How are we gonna handle the long distance?

Now the downfall here is that Peach didn't get a number. Didn't get an I- Now this isn't because she didn't have the chance. Oh my god, you have to tell the premise of the kiss because this is to all the girls out there. No girls! Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls. Do you want to, do you want to react to it with me? Because I know it. Yeah.

It's quite loud. It's quite loud. I'm sat in the booth. It's like, it's YMCA's play. It's like, yeah. I said, sorry, what? Because I couldn't hear what he was saying. And then he said, why do you keep saying what when I don't say anything?

So at this point, I was like, we were talking for quite a while. And I was like, why haven't you done anything? Poor form. So I said, that's because I'm waiting for you to make a move and you never do. Then he was like, that's fucking hot and kissed her. And then he kissed me. But I can't believe you did that. I can't believe you were like, that's because I'm waiting for you. I think I was quite drunk. I was quite drunk. That's what we've been talking about.

I'm harnessing the energy. You's what we've been talking about. You have to carry this on. The boys at the weekend better be scared. Yeah. They better be quaking in their boots. Kate will be whispering like, are you gonna try it on? I'll be like, do it.

To every guy. Yeah, do it. That's because I'm waiting for you. Yeah, I'm waiting for you. Do something. Right, so we're making a public appeal. Public appeal. Joe.

Because unfortunately, we were with someone that was really, really drunk, so we had to go home. We had to go home. So literally, I finish having a lovely smooch. I then go, I then look around. I was literally looking around. We were all in the smooch.

So I was like, I can't see my friends. I can't see my friends. So I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm just going to check where my friends are. But I'm coming back. He was like, oh, yeah. He was like, don't run away from me. And I was like, I won't.

I know. I said, oh, I won't. I was like, I'll literally see you soon like in a sec um i i then left this this poor girl was ready to leave she was ready to leave so we we did the right thing and then all left we all left yeah but because katie then didn't get wasn't it didn't have the chance to get his number. I was... We're making a public appeal. Hello. Hi. From the debrief from Kitty McNeil and Katie Leach.

Joe. If you were out in Redbacks. Redbacks Fulham. Redbacks in Fulham on Saturday the 16th. No, Saturday the 15th of July. July, yeah. Saturday the 15th of July. If your name's Joe, if you're wearing a cap. You're wearing a cap and a Carhartt jumper which I would personally love to wear. If you live in Chisholm as well. If you live in Chisholm as well. And you enjoy cricket. And you enjoy cricket and you're off to Australia in October with your friends. I would love to go on a date with you. Katie. I would love for you to take me out. Katie says yes. Katie. I'm saying yes to the dress. the funniest thing was so we know Katie's

a freak and he was like he loved it he loved it like Katie said really weird things and he was like you're so funny

and I was like wow I genuinely I was absolutely fucking howling wow it was the it was

I was like I love active wear I love active wear and even I was like why the fuck have you said that it's the internal monologue that's like I was like, I love activewear. I love activewear. And even I was like, why the fuck have you said that? It's the internal monologue that's like, I'm so embarrassed right now. You know when you say something to fill the silence and you're like, why have I said that? And he was like, haha, you're so funny.

I was like, oh, okay. Am I? Okay. You were like testing the waters. You were like, I love activewear. He was like, you're so funny. You're like, just you wait. And I was like, I need a friend to hide.

And you were like, but yeah. But, yeah, that's interesting. So that's interesting. Yeah, yeah. Hey, you're a jerk. Hey. Yeah, you should have done them all. You would have thought you were a fucking weapon.

He thought, he did think I was a fucking weapon. I know. But remember what you said a few weeks ago in the pod? What's meant for you won't pass you by. What's meant for me won't pass me by. Not to call me delusional. I remember I was sat with you. It was four in the pod what's meant for you won't pass you by what's meant for me won't pass me by not to call me delusional i remember i was sat with you it was four in the morning i'm staring up at the ceiling and i go okay i'm not being delusional but we will meet again yeah the universe will bring us back together and when you see him you can sing we'll meet again

yeah yeah i don't know i love it i love it he'll be like you're so funny i'm like don't know how far I can push that. I love it. He'll be like, you're so funny. I'm like, don't know when. Yeah. Yeah. I think he thinks you're hilarious. Yeah, rightfully so. Right, Katie, I've got something so exciting for you. Please. So I've got a shout out on the Debrief podcast saying, can you tell me your worst eating

experiences? Yeah. And I got a cracker oh I got an absolute cracker okay okay strap yourself in I'm strapped hi girls I'm loving your podcast by the way and listen every Monday that's Vicky every Monday I have an awful dating story that I have to share it's so embarrassing so please can I stay anonymous? Of course you can, girly.

Don't you worry about that. So I was dating this guy. He was funny, kind, and good-looking. We'd seen each other three times and still hadn't done dirty. Okay. So on the... I know, three dates in. That's pretty good.

That's not uncommon. But I rate her that she's way too tall to fall off. So on the fourth date, he invited me. That's pretty good. That's not uncommon. But I rate her that she's waited till the 4th. So on the 4th date, he invited me around to his for food. Oh, that's sweet. That is really sweet. He said he made me spag bol. I'd like a little salad, you know, or something. Something light.

Yeah, something light, you know. I guess like you that I eat light until we start dating. Spag bol. Spag bol.ag bol that's really rogue that's fucking right but hey guys anyways as time went on i felt really well yeah no doubt no shit stomach hurt and really needed a poo fuck off fuck off oh this is hilarious mortified that i was going to do a poo at this guy's house. Especially she isn't even dating him yet.

This is like fourth date. Fourth date. They haven't chatted. She doesn't want to put him off. You don't want to offload, do you? So she says, I asked to use his bathroom. And he said, just give him a second. Okay.

Oh. So I thought he probably hadn't cleaned it. Ew. Ew. That is a bit of a magic bag. Imagine it's like, can I use your bathroom? Just one sec. He goes off't cleaned it. Ew. Ew. That is a bit of a magic bag. Imagine it's like, can I use your bath just one sec? He goes off to clean it. He brings his fucking bleach out and his marigolds.

He's like, off I go with my plums. How bad could it be? That would, I'd be like, oh. Anyways, I'm waiting about 15 minutes and he still is in there. What? Was he doing a poo himself? He's like, me first. He's like, one sec. and he still is in there. What? Was he doing a film sound?

He's like, me first. He's like, one sec. At this point, I'm holding my arse together and I'm sweating with desperation. Oh my God. Another 15 minutes. Is she allergic type? Is she like wheat intolerant? Is she like pasta intolerant?

Can you imagine? That'd be awful. That'd be me. Another 15 minutes goes by and he still isn't out. Oh my God. This is, this is, she says, I start to panic. Well, yeah. And before I can even do anything.

No, no, no. I shit my pants. No, no, no, no. And his, it gets worse, on his white leather sofa. Shit everywhere. By the way, girls, I'm wearing a dress. Oh my God, I was just about to say that. So there is no protection.

Oh no, I'd be out. I'd be so out. I'd leave. I'd cry. I'd be out. I'd be in tears. I'd be like, do you know what? See ya.

I'd cry and leave before he got back. And I'd never speak to him. I'd block his ya. I'd cry and leave before he got back. And I'd never speak to him. I'd block his number and I'd never, ever speak to him again. She says, at this point, he comes out. Oh, no. Oh, no, I feel really sorry. I don't even know what to say. So I just apologise.

I mean, what else can you say? Be like, oh, sorry. Well, you can't be like, by the way, I've just done the shit on your sofa. So you'd be like, you would panic. You'd be so nervous. What do you even say? Oh, my love.

My heart's breaking. My love. The sheer panic. He was surprisingly nice about it. Oh, that's nice. Oh, that is really sweet. And said to put my stuff in the wash and go have a shower and come back down and borrow something of his. Oh, that's really kind.

That is so nice. Do you know what? That is, that is lovely. That's marriage material. If that happened to me, that's the story you tell when you meet your husband.

Yeah. It was then I knew. I shat on the sofa and he was like, don't you worry about it, my love. Put your stuff in the wash. Yeah. That was so cute.

So she says, I thought, I thought how sweet he was to do this rather than to embarrass me when i've shat on his sofa i can't when i get cleared up i come down katie what oh my god when i get cleaned up i come down to see him yeah with my shitty pants around his dick. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH fucked up exclamation mark so yeah never dating again that is fucking awful i am stunned into silence that is awful i'm stunned into silence what the fuck what is wrong with him so he he basically waited until she physically shat herself i'm not being funny that's such a violation did he put in there oh my god oh my god that i'm not being funny. That's such a violation. How many acts did he put in there? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That poor... I'm not being funny. Isn't that like harassment? That's surely illegal. That's surely illegal. You can't do that. That's surely illegal.

She could get him... She could call the police. That's surely illegal. That is awful. Do you know what? You'd be less embarrassed because you'd be like, you made me do that.

But then you'd feel so taken advantage of that you'd be like your evil person that is that's evil that's really calculated that's because i'm not being funny if that's his fetish fine that's his fetish but you have to tell them there's a club in london that's really exclusive to get into okay that is very that where people it's like it's like a sex club oh wow like i think it's very very exclusive like you have to pay a lot of money to get a table there i think it's called the box okay um but that's a good name. They have dancers in like naked dancers in cages and people like piss and shit and spit. And it's like a... That would stink.

It's like a sex club. I think. My God, this poor girl, Katie. This poor girl. I love how at the end she just says, so yeah, never dating a girl. Fair. I would never step out of the house again.

I would never go out of the fucking house. I would never go out of the fucking house. Any man would smile at me. I genuinely would. I genuinely like... again. I would never go out of the fucking house. I would never go out of the fucking house. Any man would smile at me. I genuinely would. I genuinely like. Can you imagine if Joe puts you on the date and you're like, amazing, spag bol, ick. And then he fucking laxatives you. That's actually drugging someone.

That is drugging someone. She can go to someone for that. I am so sorry. That is horrible. That is awful. That is horrible. That's sadistic. I'm so sorry that is horrible that is awful that's horrible that's sadistic I'm so sorry my love so he was waiting

until she was like bursting physically oh that is malicious that's so malicious I just don't get it that's awful that is awful

oh my god so from this Katie from this story yeah I also just to let you know girls I asked if she was okay and she said she was okay so I wanted to let you know girls I asked if she was okay

and she said she was okay. Yeah. So I wanted to let her know. Yeah. Just make sure that she was alright. So from this I asked the debrief again asked our followers about some popular fetishes that may be quite controversial. Ooh okay. So I wrote in and for you i have got five amazing popular fetishes okay um in the uk three are from individuals yeah saying yeah this might be a bit unique but this is what i like oh okay so i'm like okay it's all anonymous and two are this is popular okay in the uk apparently oh my god i'm excited the first one is cake farts what is that this is when you get your partner to fart on a cake what and then you eat it what what sounds like something i'd do would you give it a go? Cake farting.

Would you rather fart on the cake and then eat it? Or would you rather... No, I'd rather fart on the cake. Me, 100%. 100%. Oh my God, I would never. I would never. Oh my God.

What? I would never. I just don't think I could personally take myself seriously. Because obviously it's quite a sensual thing if you enjoy it. And I would ruin. I just don't think I could personally take myself seriously because obviously it's quite like it's quite a sensual It must be a sensual thing if you enjoy it and I would ruin it for them. And I wonder if they keep eye contact while they fart And I'm like I would find it really hard to stay serious. Yeah in that environment I know so the second one this is really popular. Yeah, only in the UK. This is one of the top three. Yeah.

Balloons. Now, it's not what you think. Apparently, this is all apparently, some men love having balloons in their room while having sex. It increases their orgasms and the amount of times they can't move. Balloons! Yes! Yes! Balloons! Yeah, so apparently... Not like up their arse or anything. No, no, no.

Just like in the room. No, like literally just blowing balloons. Like they've just had a fucking fiesta. And then they're like, woohoo! And then they have sex and they're like, this is incredible. Balloons. Do you know what? I'd give that a go.

Yeah, I'd give that. I mean, I'm not going to get put off by a few little like happy birthday parties. No, no, no. Maybe it'll make my positivity even higher. Right, the third one is watching your partner pee. That I've definitely heard of. You've heard of that before. But is that different to golden shower?

Yes, it is. Oh, so just watching your partner pee. Just watching. Because a girl wrote in and said that one of her kinks is to watch her partner pee. And she did it in relationship with her partner pee and she did it in relationship with her partner before her partner did it and now he does it as well so it's all like the crossing legs like the unknown like i can i know what you're doing but i can't really see it apparently that's what she said the fourth one which has come from a listener, is sex with ghosts.

Now, this isn't what you think. She says, it's a role play where someone is dressed up and behaving like a ghost. So your partner's like, is this you? And then you're like, wow. Was this a listener? Yeah, this was me. This was me. This was the listener.

Wing, wing. Oh, she's there in his fucking white robe. This is a listener. Yeah, this was me. This was me. This was the listener. Wing, wing. It always... Oh, she's there in his fucking white robe. We're not right. The ghosts always make me think of, you know, Muppet Christmas carol. We're Marley and Marley. Yes.

With the chains and stuff. Yeah. I think... I could get behind. Have you heard anyone do that before? No. I've heard people say they've had sex with actual ghosts. oh yeah i read this story once online about this woman who said i've had sex with a ghost like and she wasn't saying her partner like painted his face white i i think um i could get

behind you know like as if it was like ghost the film like but not like a not like an actual he's in a shade but like i'm thinking more like patrick swayze's comeback from the dead oh you know what i mean like that's quite sexy where he's like i still been a ghost and he's like i've come back for you that's quite a night and i'd be like oh that's quite sexy but okay if i came in and he had like a sheet over himself and he was like what would you do if he had like a little ghost on his little ghost that'd be quite funny yeah the last one is adults in diapers i've heard about this actors babies referring to their partner as mummy or daddy yeah i you you wouldn't cap it don't call me mummy yeah don't call me mummy. Yeah. Don't call me mummy. Yeah.

I personally have never, but I can get behind daddy. Yeah, yeah. I can get behind that. Yeah. I can get behind that. I can get it. I can vibe with it. What happens if you were like, yeah, and he's like, yeah, come on, mummy.

What would you say? I would genuinely... I would freeze freeze up what would you do if he starts going through like the fucking family tree he's like come on grandma come on nanny come on nana if he had to call you a name from the family tree fuck what would you do it would happen well i think the only logical one would have to be Mame. Like I wouldn't want to be called cousin. I wouldn't want to be called auntie. Come on auntie.

What? We're gonna play snog marry pie with these kinks. Amazing, okay. So snog is you do once, you only do once. Marry is you repeatedly do with your partner a lot. Pie is you will never do. The three are the cake fart, the sex with ghosts, and the adults in diapers.

However, cake fart, they have to fart on the cake and you eat it. Sex with ghosts. Am I the ghost? You're the ghost. And the adults in diapers, you're the adult in the diaper. I'd have to pie the adult in the diapers. Personally, I just don't think it'd be a look on me.

Well, you've got the mask before, haven't you? Me and me dry nights. Yeah. I don't... You're not sure about that. I don't know if I would see that. I would snog the sex with ghosts. I think I can make that my own.

Oh, okay. So you do it once. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'd marry sex with ghosts. You'd marry the sex with ghosts. Because I think, like, that could be fun. Okay, cool.

Like, I could be a different ghost. I could be an angry ghost, a romantic ghost. Oh, like revenge ghost. I could be a poltergeist. Yes. That would be quite fun. That would be quite fun. And then I would have to snog a cake fart.

It seems quite on brand to do once. Yeah, do it once. For me. Because I fucking love cake. I fucking love it. It would be a hoogle puff. A I fucking love it it would be a hoogle puff a google puff

it would be a yeah false inside google right give me your kings so what's really funny yeah go on is I I have written down

sex with ghosts oh you saw that message I saw that one yeah okay the other one chelonophilia okay which is

being aroused by turtles. Wow. Which I thought, because you're a little turtle. Like they touch the turtles and like that arouses them. Or just seeing the turtles. Even seeing turtles, it's like, wow. Like my kids go. Yeah.

And buzz them. It's throbbing. It's throbbing. Oh my God. Okay. And the other one is called axillism, which is the desire to have sex in someone's armpit How does that work? It'll be like an armpit job Wait, does that mean I'm rubbing the vagina against their armpit or are they rubbing it?

Yeah, so or you'd be wanking someone off like in your armpit Wow Was this someone that they wrote and saying they like it or this is one of the popular ones? This is one of the popular ones. The old bit one? Yeah. The other one is called spectrophiliacs, which is a desire to have sex with ghosts.

Oh, is that what it's called? Yeah. Spectrophiliacs. Spectrophiliacs. Okay. I might be wrong again. Okay, so I'm pining turtles. Are you?

Yeah, I love a little turtle. You wouldn't want it. No, I love turtles turtles like i love them also i'm just like fisher friend not food yeah so i'm like fisher friend not fanny yeah you know i'm i'm just like i don't want you to be doing it for me i just kind of want to be besties with you i don't want to disrespect the turtle and for me personally i'd feel i'm disrespecting no because you are a little turtle so you wouldn't want to do that to your own kind. No. Okay, I would give, I would snog the armpit.

Just once. I would do it once. Yeah. I'd do it once, I'd make it fun, and then I would marry the ghosts. I'd do it, I'd do it all the time. I'd try it. I think that'd be fun. Why not? Let's try it. Yeah.

I'd even try one of the sheet ones, put a sheet on me. Sexy sheet, like... Sexy sheet, like, oh my god, like a sheet tie her up with boots a sheet and then you've got like little holes holes where my nipples aren't, love it yeah like I'm haunting you

yeah with my desire yeah oh, love it, yeah come back, I'm obsessed with you absolutely love it, yeah right Peach, tell me one of your dating stories this was a few years ago

I started seeing a guy that I worked with Right, Peach, tell me one of your dating stories. This was a few years ago. I started seeing a guy that I worked with. And we went on a few very wholesome dates, went out for coffee, went to the cinema. Oh, nice. And then he had a free house. And he was like, oh, my God, I'd love to have you over. Cool. And I was like, shag-o-thon. Shag-fest.

Sorry, Top Shagger. Me. I've arrived. I'm the Top Shagger. Yeah, you are the Top Shagger. Can't hold me arrived. I'm the Top Shagger. Yeah, you are the Top Shagger. Can't hold me down. No. Or do.

No. Or maybe you should. Or maybe you should. Love it. So I was like, oh my god, I'm really excited. I was at work dispensing my prescriptions like, Can you stand in a shag? Can you stand in a shag? I'm like, name an address. I'm getting a shag.

Love it. Yeah, in you go. Yeah, easy. So he was giving it the big of it as well, might I add. I'm getting a shag love it yeah in you go yeah easy so he was giving it the big as well might I add he was literally not to be crass but he was

very much alluding to the fact that some sexual activity would be occurring oh what do you mean what was he saying we were talking he was like I can't wait to like

keep you up all night like this I'm getting fucking excited he was also two years older than me and he was fucking gorgeous really he had a great bod oh great love that okay so i was literally i was so excited drove to his house after work he also we had work together on the sunday which is why

he originally was like you should stay on saturday night you should stay over because we can both go to work together on the sunday okay um and i was like yeah that sounds great. Then found out he didn't even have work on the Sunday he just wanted me to stay around. Oh that's so sweet. Keep this all in mind about how keen this boy was over text. Oh okay. So we get there we were watching we were watching something and I thought I didn't want to be sus and kind of like scooch up to him we were on his sofa so I thought you know I'll go up I'll get changed and I'll come back down get changed I go and like sit down next to him so we're kind of like touching electricity and he goes oh he goes and moves away and I was like oh he kind of

like shuffles across a bit and I was like oh I was like oh maybe oh gosh like cranky so then he says oh let's watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part one very specific interesting so I was like this is a long film we're not gonna watch a second

get to it I was just waiting to watch the first ten minutes he make a move and then Bob's drunk brilliant okay

I watched the entire Deathly Hallows part one and I felt very mucked off, I was like what's going on because we were watching it and I did try to grease the wheels, like I did I was like oh he'd turn over to say something to me and I'd look over at him

and I'm kind of looking at him and looking at his lips and looking at him and I'm like and he's like goes back to watching it, I'm thinking well here I am with my best friend having sleepover I was like might he's like goes back to watching it I'm thinking well here I am with my best friend having sleepover I was like might as well get

the fucking face mask out so I was a bit like oh god I really I really misread the signals here so then I try and like we then finish

and then I'm like do you know what I'm going to figure out an excuse and go home so then I'm like oh look I'm just going to go to the loo

and then I was going to try and think of an excuse in the toilet and be like let's go back I'm off yeah it was about midnight and I didn't look far from him

you sat through the whole fucking film and you've not done one thing no we hadn't even kissed and he didn't even like put his arm around me or anything like the boy was repellent

to the touch of me bit rude yeah and then he so then I'm like look I'm going to go to the bathroom he's like please can

we watch part two oh my god i was like oh right potterhead he's like please like let's watch part two like really like let's watch part two so i'm thinking maybe he's a bit shy because we didn't even kiss on the dates we've been on previously like he'd always walk into my car and give me a hug and then be like i'd love to see you again but like nothing there so i was like okay maybe he's like i missed my shot i'll try yeah i think he was feeling maybe a bit nervous so i thought you know what i'll show my interest i think this is being quite obvious but i was like i just love cuddling up to a film like it's so nice any man any smart man would be like come here then and give me a cuddle and then we'd kiss and then we'd shag yeah surely yeah tell me why me why he's like, I'm like, oh, I could really do,

actually, ask me. I love cuddling up to a film. Oh, I just love cuddling up to a film. Oh my God, wait one sec, one sec. Okay. He runs upstairs. I'm thinking, what's happening? Oh, he's getting naked.

He's getting naked. He's going to come down. He's got a helicopter out. He's got a helicopter out. Yeah. I'm excited. Tell me why. He then comes down with a pillow.

He throws the pillow at me and says, cuddle her. Sorry. What the fuck? Sorry. What the fuck? I'm sorry. Excuse me. Was he laughing when he said it?

No, he was like, oh, cuddle that. Sorry. I was mortified. Oh, he's an idiot. I was absolutely mortified. I don't understand. Is that a pie or is he an idiot? I think it was mortified. Oh, he's an idiot. I was absolutely mortified. But I don't understand. Is that a pie? Or is he an idiot?

I think it was a pie. Well, but then why invite me to your house? And then beg you to stay for the second film. Beg me to stay. Tell me you're going to keep me up all night. Maybe he needed some supervision to watch the film. Literally, I'm like... Please, I can't watch it alone.

He's like, get scared. It's Dumbledore. I hate seeing him die. I don't know. I literally was like... Please, I can't wash on my own. It's like, I get scared. It's Dumbledore. I hate seeing him die. I don't know. I literally was like... I was so confused. I genuinely was like, going to keep me up all night, are you?

What, are we going to watch the fucking box set? Are we going to start the Philosopher's Stone? What's going on? Lord of the Rings days, is it? I was like, oh, another three-hour film to go. You really did batter me. Are we going to start the Star Wars trilogy? What's happening here?

Oh God. I was like, you're fucking kidding. So I was like, you're a weapon. Then I finished it and I was like, oh look,

I've got work tomorrow so I should probably go to sleep. He then makes me sleep in his spare room by myself. And then his room was next door but he stayed on the sofa

downstairs. He didn't even stay upstairs with me and I was like, why do I feel like- What the fuck is wrong with this boy? I genuinely like,

I think, I was so confused by the entire thing. with this boy? I genuinely, like, I think... I was so confused by the entire thing. I left what? I left his house at, like, 7am. Yeah, good. And I was like, I've got to go. And then I didn't speak to him ever since. Yeah, good.

But he actually kept messaging me being like, I'd love to take you out again. And I was like, I'm busy. No. I'm busy. And he was like, oh, what's happened? I'm like, I'm busy. Yeah.

I couldn't watch the fucking Harry Potter's on my email at all. I was like, surely like surely like why invite me into your house this is why boys are so confusing and not kiss me because i get the second film thing maybe he was like oh i was just really nervous but do something in the second film then you even put a hint there like oh i'd love to cuddle and he's like cuddle this cuddle this fucking pillow stupid i was like well there you go i go. Boys, I've got a K too. I know. What a calamity. What a calamity. Ix, ix, ix.

I've only got one this week. I've only got one. Alright, well I'll ping pong you. Yeah. Ready? Brilliant. Go on. Mine is men recording Instagram stories.

Oh my God. I saw a guy and he stood up and he had his phone. He was waiting at traffic lights and i was waiting right across he had his phone up like this facing him he zooms in he was like and i was like that's so embarrassing that's so embarrassing why are you doing that why are you doing that why are you doing that you silly man why are you doing that really strange that's humiliating really humiliating you ready yeah okay got it so mine as well is I actually got it from a friend and you know exactly the

moment I got it we were at Wagamama's we all sat there like a group of friends and we got on meals and he like swiveled it around and he spoke and put it to his mouth and he was like oh my god he was blowing all the brain food! Just burn your mouth. I was like, just get blisters in your mouth. Just burn your mouth. And it was like the proper, he was like And then was like I was like, oh my god! I was like, oh my god!

And I, yeah, she looked at you and I was like, Ick of the week! It's so funny, sometimes Ick of the week happens so naturally. I'm like, oh my God, I know you. You don't realise what you've done in my brand. You don't realise it immediately you've given it to me. Yeah. Questions, Katie.

Questions. I'm on serious this week. Questions. Questions. Right, you ready? Yep. Would you. Me.

Peach Loach. Yeah. Would you ever go back with an ex and then add on, shag them again? Tell me. It depends on, it depends on circumstance. Yeah, it does. Because I feel like if it's an old, maybe shag an ex again. Okay.

But I don't think, I think there's a reason you broke up. if it's genuinely like right person wrong time and you find each other again i think there are some things that are meant to be. yeah. like for example god forbid if you and arch ever broke up i would like more than be putting you back together. yeah. like i wouldn't be like oh my god don't get back with an ex. it depends on the yeah yeah yeah and especially how they handle the breakup absolutely i agree because if they turn into a bit of a psycho bitch after the breakup yeah um which some guys do some guys really fucking all the girls do as well some girls and guys really like lose the ball which is fine don't we all yeah we all do um but i think it's knowing when to like let it go yes when you haven't seen an ex for a really long time and then you see each other you're not getting

the bad bits or you're not getting the things that didn't work on that first meeting back you're catching up and you're like oh my god this is why i really liked you yeah you're not you're not having that and you i think it's so easy to fall back into history yeah so easy to fall back into that pattern you got into yeah and that's the good and the bad so and especially if you haven't seen them for a while and you see them and then you're literally getting on the way you used to like that's hard depending on the ex in the circumstance sometimes people only remember the good things or they only remember the bad things depending on how it ended you know would you uh well i'm in the position where i feel i'm with art so i'm just like no way i couldn't see myself doing that

but then again if i broke up i'd be like if you and i broke up i'd be a child's divorce and i would need you to get back together i need you to kind of sort that out yeah i can't unlock you in a room yeah i'm. Sort it out. Our friends and I would pair and trap you. We would pair and trap you. Makeup. What's all this? You know that Friends episode

where Monica and Chandler are moving in together and they have a huge argument and Ross wants Rachel to move in and he keeps going over like what's all this about? Yeah, yeah, that'd be you. That'd be you. Silly, silly.

Sourced out now. Yeah. Right, what's your silly question? My silly question, on the theme of dating. Would you rather date someone that threw food in your face after every meal in a loving way

or cried unless you sang him a personal lullaby every night about his day so i'll expand oh my god the throwing food thing it isn't an aggressive thing it isn't like now we've finished our meal no it's literally like thanks so much for that meal, my loves. He's got the spag bol and he just pops it in your face. And then he's... Or you're getting ready for bed. Hysterical sobbing. Every single evening. As soon as he gets into bed, he starts sobbing until you go...

And he's had a lovely day today. He went to the gym and he had a lovely day. No, no, no, no. Good night, my love. No, I'm going to have to stop you there. He can spit in my face. I couldn't deal with the wailing. Like sobbing every evening,

like a child not wanting to go to school. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Sorry guys. Your day's been lovely. Yeah, genuinely. And he's like, free. Free. There are some real wackadoodles in the world. It's wackadoodle time, Katie. It's wackadoodle time. It's wackadoodle time.

Right guys, please write in your hits, your matches, your songs. Oh my God, dating stories. They were cracking this week.

Thank you so much for the content. We love you so much. Have a cracking Monday. Have a good Monday, chickens. Love you. Bye. for the content we love you so much have a cracking Monday have a good Monday love you bye bye