The Debrief - Men Are From Mars & Women Are From Venus

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! In this weeks episode we are discussing, comparing and contrasting: Male vs Female opinion! We’ve had some amazing dilemmas in this week so be sure to email us for some more to: [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcast! Have an amazing Monday,Lots of Love, K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

i've got a rebel soul i've got a rebel soul welcome to the deary hiya hiya bloody morning oh good morning it's monday it is bloody monday i'm excited so am i i'm really excited this week. God, it's been, it was a whirlwind last week. Oh, yeah. Whirlwind. I've had so many, like,

auditions, like, coming through. Oh, I love it. And I'm waiting for results and I'm just like, I'm telling you, I have found it so hard to sleep. Never looked at the email app more. Whoever, like,

goes through the audition process, you know that fucking stress. It's genuinely fucking stress it's genuinely yeah it's constant like i'll hear in my inbox and i'm like i mean honestly i haven't been able to sleep but i'm just like no i can't i have my email notifications turned off on my phone like for my iCloud but not for my Outlook so every time i'm like expecting news on iCloud, I'm always just like, every five seconds,

like, well, maybe I've just missed it. So I'm like... Scrolling, scrolling. Oh, it's so stressful. It's so stressful. It's so stressful. So tell me what you got on this week. Anything nice? This week?

Are you going back on? Yeah. I'm back, bitches. She's back. She's back. I'm back. I'm back. Back better than ever.

She's getting ready to rehearse for Edinburgh Fringe. Yeah. So guys, remember to come see her in Edinburgh Fringe. Come to Edinburgh, guys. Yeah, definitely promote her. If you love Into the Woods. Yes, because she'll be here. Come along.

Katie's playing the baker's wife. Big time. The Emily Blunt role. Yeah. People need to know it like that. I'll be baking my bread. She'll be fantastic. Eating loads of pastries.

Absolutely fantastic. She's doing a performance in London. Yeah. But you're also doing it in Edinburgh for like a month. I am. I'm so excited. We're all going. Come along.

The crew's coming. Meet and greet. Meet and greet. Meet and greet. I'm excited. Fantastic. So tell me your match for this week. My match for this week is

I am making the younger version of myself proud. Aww. Which I like. Sweet. I like. Oh my God. Why have you chosen that i think i'm doing so like we're back we're doing a full week of assessments i'm going into like i'm doing so much especially in june i'm feeling like it's so busy in this but in an exciting way there's so much stuff that i'm excited for that i'm doing and i'm just like oh my god if like little katie saw me doing it she'd be like what the fuck yeah

like i'm so i'm so excited also a big up for katie she's doing this on time competition yeah and how many applied 350 350 people applied for this and katie's down to the last 12 and she's in the final and i get to perform on a western stage to. Yeah, she's performing on a West End stage. Making my West End stage debut. So let's big up Katie then. Yeah. Thanks, girl. Thanks, girl. Right, so my mantra is, everything I need is within me.

Yeah, it is. It's within these guys. Yeah, it is. It's within this flesh. It's within. It's within this. It's in you. Why do you need that this week?

Everything I need is within me. I feel, it's quite embarrassing to even admit, when I get fixated, or when I have something very important in my life yeah so like career it's usually when it comes to career yeah I get quite obsessive oh I'm yeah and I'm quite like repeating things like always repeating mantras or you know always checking emails or thinking like i need to do this to get this like i can't forget i get really fixated right yeah and i just had to kind of strip that down this week and be like look yeah the reason you've got to this place you are

isn't because you're bloody saying your mantras every day or yeah yeah yeah you're really good and you're working hard exactly so everything you need is within me. Stop being fixated or superstitious. I can get quite superstitious. I get a bit superstitious. So I need to avoid that because I'm like, that's a bad mindset. I'm like, positive. Positive.

PMA. PMA. My song this week is... I'm a bitch. I'm a mother. I'm a liar. I'm a bitch i'm a mother i'm a liar i'm a mother and a dad you will not be ashamed i'm a bitch you know that one yeah there's nothing in between you know i wouldn't have it any other way yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah bitch bitch meredith brooks love it love that song literally rediscovered

it like a few days ago yeah i went to this london actually i'll do it for my recommendation so it's your song my song is Every woman, it's all in me. Anything you want done, baby, I'll do it naturally. Oh, oh, oh. I love it. I'm every woman, Chaka Khan. Such a good song. Chaka Khan, I love it. I love it.

Honestly, it reminds me of Bridget Jones. Oh, yeah. Have you seen the doing a new Bridget Jones? Yeah. I know. I'm on the fence about it. I can't lie to Jones. Oh, yeah. Have you seen they're doing a new Bridget Jones? Yeah. I know. I'm on the fence about it. I can't lie to you. I know.

Why? I'm undecided. It will never be the first one. Bridget Jones' baby, I didn't like. Do you know what? I haven't seen Bridget Jones' baby. Bridget Jones' baby,

I didn't like. So she has the baby? Yeah, she has a baby. And this is obviously following on from her having the baby. Not the same. I think maybe Hugh Grant is in this one, but Hugh Grant wasn't in bridget jones baby what a shame i know but i

don't know if colin firth's in this one oh come on so it's like so like they're all missing ships in the night i don't know how it's gonna be okay this week for our record recommendation. So I went to Other Songs at the London Palladium. So it was a fantastic night. So basically Other Songs is an event where kind of young artists, so people from the Brit school or up and coming songwriters, it's all about songwriters. Whether they're really famous

or whether they're just starting out. Yeah. Performing and explaining their journey. So they don't just, it's not like a concert where they just sing and that's, yeah, yeah.

It was, they sing their song and then they talk about why, how they got to this journey, what this song means to them. Not in, I love this song in the sense of, I wrote this during a really shit time

or I wrote this. So it was really fascinating. We had people like Celeste play. I love her. Cat Stevens came out. Tom Adele. Another love. Oh.

I mean, love it. I mean, they're so good. And then a few Brit students came up to perform. This one guy, I'm going to, Sam Wilkinson or Tom Wilkinson i'm just gonna say it yeah in the next few years he'll be at glastonbury he'll be i thought he was fantastic oh i love that it was very country oh he sang this song and it's called the song's called i must find it but it's something like i live in a bungalow and he's talking, the song's called I Must Find It but it's something like I live in a bungalow

and he's talking about and he keeps referencing the big man upstairs and obviously he's in a bungalow so no one's upstairs but he's talking about God and it's a really, like it's such an interesting song,

you know, he talks about the big man upstairs but I'm in a bungalow so is he there? Is he not? Oh, interesting. Yeah, it was really clever. Oh, I love that. And then I saw him again man upstairs yeah but i'm in a bungalow so is he there is he not like you know i'm kind of interesting yeah it was really clever oh i love that um and then i saw him again on instagram the other day and he's doing another song so i i think what's the space watch this space yeah

watch it heard it here first discovered oh yeah discovered agent yes yes Legion. Yes. Okay. Let's Debray. This week, we are helping men and women understand each other more. Yeah. We're going to be answering male questions that men have sent in to want to know about women. Yeah. Some of them are hilarious. And as well, we'll be telling the male listeners what women

want you to know. So it's all about kind of just asking questions that maybe you feel you can't to people around you. Some of them are fantastic. I love it. Anyway, before we dive into anything, can you give me an example when you have had like an interaction with a male, someone of an opposite gender, and it's been a complete mars venus interaction yeah like you are not understanding me right now and he's like you're not understanding me right now yeah have you had an experience like that i feel like i've had experiences especially with the boys we live with sometimes where i'm like not that if it's a disagreement but we have such differing views on things something that I think's like oh my god well we need to sort that they're like literally

why are you deeping that it's not that deep especially like if I go to them with advice about boys I'm like oh and then this happens so obviously I look like this huge bag and they're like literally that would never have crossed their minds yeah like don't deep that like why you and I'm like oh my god men think so differently completely that's why i love living with the boys i'm like well what would you do and they're like oh like we literally wouldn't be thinking i would never think that and you're like what oh and you're like why because i'm like oh i'm gonna do this that'll show them and they're like that won't that won't that won't um they like he will not be he literally would not think twice about

that i'm like okay okay you're like humbled yeah men are like men because i was like oh my god like if i want to make it noticeable that i like someone they're like you're literally gonna have to go like spell out for them i'm like okay i feel like okay men are quite literal yes they need this is very generalized but i feel that at least the men we know yes are quite literal and they need this is very generalized yes but i feel that at least the men we know yes are quite literal and they need it black and white laid out you know yeah whereas women oh my god a lot of gray well we're just onions oh layers layers layers the layers just got on email. Amazon. Yeah, she's alright. Oh, bless all my love. We've got so many layers that were kind of like,

yes, she said this, but for example, I can read your face. Yes, you can. Katie will say something to the boys and she'll be like, oh, no, that's fine. She's fucking few. I know, shall we live it? I live it.

She's absolutely lived it. And the boys are like, honestly, Katie, she didn't care. She wasn't bothered. I'm like are you joking how could you not tell did you not see her face how could you not tell

simply yeah it's such a weird one because like yeah it's odd where they're like oh no it's not that deep and I'm like

how are you not deeping this how are you not deeping it yeah yeah I had an interaction with one of my previous exes oh yeah which still to this day, I'm like...

What the fuck? We both simply did not see eye to eye. Yeah. Not saying who's right, who's wrong. I was. It was me. Always. But it was profoundly astonishing

how we could not understand one another at all. Absolutely. Crazy. So i came to him yeah saying that someone who i was close with yeah in a friendship group had made a move on me now this person was like a friend yeah so like we built up a rapport with each other and i thought oh we're really good friends like you really you know i'd never feel anything like that with him and i thought he thought so anyway he made a move and i went to my ex needing some comfort and kind of a bit of reassurance yeah yeah feeling oh i feel really shit like i lead him on yeah i just felt really oh and anyway he turned around saying uh something like well well what did you do and i was like sorry and he said well if if he

made a move you clearly did something to make him yeah to make him feel that he was allowed to oh allowed to yeah yeah yeah let me i wrote this down and He thought the reason I was telling him this was a bit of a game. Oh, to make him jealous. One, make him jealous. And two, make him realise that I'm trying to end the relationship by going softly. Oh. Let's drip feed little things. Oh, God.

So, yeah, he fancies me. Oh, next week, yeah, we shagged. Do you know what I mean? Yeah So yeah, he fancies me. Oh, next week. Yeah, we shagged. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And anyway, still to this day, it's one of the biggest issues in that relationship. Yeah. Because I didn't then trust him.

And he was like, well, I don't trust you because you're leading him on. And I was like, so how? There was no what I went to him for of like, oh, I'm sorry. There was none of that. None of that. That's crazy.

I'd love to get a guy here and be like what is like why what should I not have said that to him like should I have not told you that's an impossible thing because if you didn't it would have got back to him be like why the fuck didn't you tell me I don't trust you yeah like I don't understand I don't yeah oh my god right she's on to the next bit? Yeah. So we asked the female debrief listeners to write in things that they wish men knew and we've got some fucking fabulous... Now these are in our array. Yeah, they are. These are in our array.

They are. They're all in their own category. I love these. Okay, do you want to kick us off? Yeah. So the first one said, where the clit is. You know, boys, look, the first one said where the clit is you know boys look we're very open on this podcast but i can't be that open that i can show you you do that something you need to figure out yourself but i would say if you looked at a

diagram have a look have a look and when i say have a look, we're not porn looking. No. Go on Google. Anatomical diagram. Yeah. Have a look. Have a look. At the vagina. And then you'll see the little bean. The little bean. The little bean.

You'll see them there. But I'm afraid I can't help with that. Yeah. I had, I love it when men double text. I don't think it's too keen. Which I thought was an individual one because I know it's very Marmite. Yeah. Yeah.

It depends. It goes back to attachment style, I fear. When it depends what you kind of like. too keen which i thought was an individual one because i know it's very marmite yeah yeah it depends it goes back to attachment style i fear when it depends what you kind of like yeah i think the same if i got like multiple strings of texts i don't i think i would feel overwhelmed yeah yeah it depends how early on you are it does and people are so like subjective with the texting thing you know some people like i hate texting i'll facetime and then i'm like whoa yeah if someone just facetimes me out of the blue i'm like i didn't organize this yeah yeah i will not text you i'm like oh yeah so someone said men need to know that when we say yeah i'm fine it's the complete opposite we're not don. Don't ask me. This is so insightful. It's so true. Don't ask me if I'm fine.

Yeah. Work out why I'm not. I was like, come on. Use it. Work out. Use it. If you've asked me,

then clearly you know I'm not fine. So work it out. Yeah, that's true. That's true. She goes, nothing is more annoying than having to tell them why you're pissed off. That is true. I'm not your mother. you're pissed off that is true i'm not your

mother i'm completely there with you i'm not your mother and also i feel like fine when and again this is a generalization if i'm saying i'm fine i'm not fine if i was okay i would say oh yeah i'm all good if someone goes oh are you all right'd go oh yeah I'm all good oh yeah I would never be like yeah I'm fine unless I wasn't thank you I'm afraid men can't get it right

but sometimes read the voice read the tone and also yeah I'm fine you're not come on work it out before you address that are you sure you're all right? Because there's nothing more that annoys me than when I have to explain, why do you think I'm upset?

Oh, don't bother. And also, it's one of those things as well. You look like the mug. Yeah, and also, we're... Not to toot our own horns. Hoons? Hoons. Not to toot our own hoons.

We're quite larger than life characters. So I feel like we're... Not like when we're upset it's noticeable not in like a distracting way but we are quite like we go quiet i'll be quiet and if i'm quiet it's noticeable someone's rocking yeah yeah you're like oh it's not a style because I'm usually like like I'm insufferable so

yeah we both are to to to me hoon to to me hoon I love um go on I've

oh this is an interesting one if we sleep with you on the first date oh we would at least like a text of courtesy okay fair enough which i do agree with really i do really yeah if it even if it's that mean though i think even if you're not interested i think especially if it's a one night i think it is the final final form of aftercare after shagging someone okay i personally think if i had a one night stand with someone

what would you want to say that just be like nice to see you i hope you got hurt just let me know when you get home it literally like doesn't have to be best show of my life love spending time with you if you're not wanting it to go any further but i hope you got home okay i think is all right in the male brain i feel again i'm not a man so i can't speak for them they'd be like oh that's leading them on bye i don't want them to think that that now i'm leading them on when you're like that's but i think done i think shagging someone yeah you would prefer that it depends it depends on the situation. I think if it was a one-night stand,

I wouldn't be that butthurt. Okay. But if it was someone I was chatting to, we go on a first date and we shag, I would want, I hope you got home all right. Okay. Just as a text of, did you get back?

Okay. Just a text of courtesy. Okay, that's good to know. think like chivalry is not dead boys no it's not dead okay i like that um someone said that we don't want to have sex like porn stars and i'm like oh yes you know what isn't a lot of men when they lose their virginity or like they're going through that the only like sexual reference they have is the porn they've watched now depending on what they like and all that kind of stuff it can be really completely different to what it actually is so i personally feel that there's nothing sexier than being like

what what do you enjoy yeah what do you like communication Yes. What do you like? Communication. Yes. Don't just, if you've been watching certain porn, don't just do that and expect she likes that. Yeah, that's uncomfortable. That can be very uncomfortable

and I completely get that. I'm like, I wouldn't want to be treated like a porn star. Yeah, yeah. Maybe sometimes. Maybe sometimes. Maybe sometimes when I'm

not a girl. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha not all the time not all the time on a similar vein actually you have to be good at both foreplay and shagging please not just one or the other and i feel like and i feel like sometimes you do maybe i'm outing myself here but you do split men into kind of be like you look like you'd be a good shag or you look like you'd be a good at like a foreplay yeah foreplay yeah and also men let me just give you a gold nugget here okay yeah truth time truth time yeah if you are good at foreplay, if you nail that, the sex will be ten times better for her. Yeah.

You could be the best shag she's ever had. Let me just put it out there. Because you work the room first. If you work the room, if you mingle, okay? Yeah. If you're putting your assets in different places yeah yeah oh my god you've done it you've done your job you've done it another woman on the same vein says that every woman's body is different and requires different pleasures

yes it takes time to get to know another woman's body so be patient and you will get results we encourage oh that's nice yeah we encourage open conversation and it's sexy to ask us what we like. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, okay. I like that a lot. Because for some people,

it'd be like, oh, this really turns me on. Yeah. Do this to me. And they'd be like, oh, my ex hated that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a completely different board. It's a completely different, the hard thing about dating a woman versus dating a man is it's so individual. Of course, everyone has their own things. But, you know, it's like a whole new

board game. You're not in a different part of Monopoly. You're not even playing Monopoly anymore. No, you're playing Frustration. Now you've got Frustration. Playing Frustration. And then you're done with Frustration and you've got bloody Uno. Oh, yeah. I've never played Uno. Take time. Take time time figure it out take your time open communication okay um someone else said

i was like oh about this one but i was like get on yet she goes i know my boyfriend listens to this podcast and i would love to just remind him. Oh, they've had an argument. That a compliment never goes unnoticed or unappreciated. I actually agree with that. I do. And it depends. It's hard with love languages if you're not like a words of affirmation person.

I love the words of affirmation. Yeah. Oh, I love it. But it's lovely to hear when someone goes oh you look gorgeous today really me oh my god i just got goosebumps imagine someone looking at you and being like you're beautiful I'm shy. I'm shy. I'm shy, shy. I'm shy, shy. I can't. Oh, my God. I love that.

And I think men, a way to a woman's heart is the little things. It's the little things. Don't always think we expect, you know, the Rolls Royces. Some of us do, all right? Archie, if you're listening. Archie, this is actually one for my boyfriend, okay? Some of us do. Some of us do. Because some of us don't, okay? Some of us do. Some of us do.

Because some of us don't, okay? Some of us don't. But seriously, the little things, those little compliments being like, come here, you know, and you're all, and they're just like, I think you're amazing. Like, just little things. Oh my God, my heart.

It's the little things, boys, remember that. It is, it really is. That's a waste of a woman's heart. I completely agree. I've got not calling when you'd said you'd call is the worst we don't care if you don't call just as long as you haven't promised us that you will that's a very i vibe with this quite heavily and not in the maybe frame of a phone call or a text yeah but if you want if you say you're gonna make plans yeah and

don't i'm fine i was fine with maybe not doing the plans you had in mind but don't promise me that you're gonna be like we're gonna do this i'm gonna put this in the calendar me and you we're gonna do this okay like oh my god can't wait to take you out like honestly let's do it let's do it and then you don't follow through i'm like i was never set on doing anything but you've wasted my time you're keeping me like are we doing this we're not like yeah i don't know why that's just like lovely to meet you but let's go away so you're like well at least i know what's going on yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah um someone said don't file i was like god this is my vibe don't find solutions straight away for my problems just support me yeah yeah i'm the same don't do that it really pisses me off it's hard when men are fixers though they're like they're fixers they're like how can we solve this for you let me get me toolkit let

me get me hammer yeah me drill yeah no drill put your drill back in your pants put it back please i don't need any of that all i need is a hug and to tell me oh that's really shit like if i can't if i come home crying and i'm like sayings breeze we're out of oranges and you go oh did you not go to tesco's oh well clearly fucking not like i literally got here like of course i didn't go to fucking tesco's you're not understanding me like Like, again, not understanding. If they go, oh, I'm so sorry. That's really shit.

I'd be like, yeah, isn't it? How annoying is that? Someone said as well, do you know what? This is really interesting to what you said earlier. We can also love a one night stand. We don't always want to marry you straight away. Yes. I think that can be a bit of a cliche with a woman.

Like, are you going to fall in love with me? Or do you want to marry me? And it's like, I also have sexual needs. Yeah. Like, I also want things. And if I just want a shag, that's fine. Let me live. I'm not a slag.

That's the most irritating thing, actually. That when a woman wants, like, a one night, oh, she's a bit easy. I'm like, what, she's got sexual desires? No, because I literally, yes literally yes yeah i completely agree i've got a very similar one where it's like go on we also might not want a relationship please never assume we're obsessed from the start yeah i think there is and look don't get me wrong there are some psychos out there look there are like people we all know we people people can latch on when people feel this way i'm like, get ya. Because there are some out there that latch.

Yeah. But don't then assume every woman is like that. But that literally goes back to, like, one of my icks a few weeks ago in a previous episode where I was literally trying to just get home. Yeah. And that guy was like, And that guy was like,

oh, I get how it is. You want me. Oh, the bus stops. Oh, there's a direct bus. I see what you're saying. I'm like, no, I'm not so like i just let me live like i just can't like and it's also maybe one of my i think and you can vouch for this it is one of my biggest fears in life is being if someone was like oh my god casey was she's obsessed with me she's such a bag yeah no i'm actually no i'm

not actually i'm far from it even if she was obsessed with you she wouldn't even make it known no katie is so she'll dig deep she'll go the other way i go what no no no because you like it no honestly it is one of those things i'm like oh oh you think i can be indifferent watch me now fine you want me to you want me to be cold? Fucking game on, mate. I respond. I follow your vibe. I'm like, oh, I'm here. You're giving me the silent treatment?

You will never see me again. Never see me again. You'll never see me again. I've got one more. So someone said, be honest as to why we broke up. It'll be hard, but it'll help me heal and then move on. Fair. Yeah, no, I completely agree.

Let's not have any of this just, you know. Wishy-washy. Oh, it just wasn't right. And also blaming, you know. Oh, well, you did this, you did. You could literally just say, I mean, it's so tough. I could never say. I don't have the feelings anymore.

It's horrible. Don't make it then me start Finding insecurities that I never had because I'm, you know. Which, that was very brave of that girl to say. I would want to know.

The honestest way we broke up, I'm like, yeah, fair, but I'd be like, well, it's because my ass is too big.

It's because my tits are too perky. It's literally poking you in the eye. It must, fuck, it must just be because my personality

is too good. Too good. I'm overpowering you. I thought so so it's because i have sex like a porn star it's because i it's because i'm fucking a great shag yeah and i'm hilarious and it's just yeah it's just actually like i'm so attractive yeah no that's what i like to tell myself yeah i'm like men are intimidated by me no that's that's literally why like i'm single because men see me and they go fuck actually i can't go, fuck, actually, I can't go for her. Oh, no, no, no.

I can't go for her. Because even just by looking at her, I can tell she's everything I need. Everything I need. And I can't have that right now. I can't have it. No, it's real. I'm right there with you, girls. I'm right there with you.

So we're going to talk about men's questions for women. So we asked deep, deep male listeners about questions they'd like to ask the female community. Yeah. I just want to remind you all that Katie and I can only give our individual perspectives. Yes. So men, other women might feel completely different, eh? Yes, it's true. So we encourage them to write in if they feel that they'd like to respond to something we've said.

But remember, this is only two little cheekies. but some people or individuals feel differently so a guy wrote him i'm like fascinated by this one yeah when you a woman is a platonic friend with a man yeah do you want to be treated exactly the same as i would treat my male friends e.g jokes my tone how time is spent or should it be different i think it should be different okay go on just when i think of my male friendships i don't i've been with the boys when you're not there and you've been with the boys when i're not there and you've been with the boys when I'm not there. And I don't like boys night when I'm there.

Like I don't, I, it's not that they're doing anything that makes me like, Oh God, I just hate it. But I'm like, it's a very much, it's the same with,

with the boys want to come get pedicures with us. Probably not. And have like combos. Absolutely not. So it's, they're very in their own thing. And I just wouldn't want that chat no and the thing i love about my closest male friends is i do get like they are like

protective in a nice way but they also take the piss in a brother sisterly vibe yes but are also very good at being respectful and also being really caring and considerate listening to my problems which i can imagine is quite hard man to man to talk about that kind of stuff and i don't think that kind of crops up with male friendships as often as we think or as it should i think yeah i i completely agree i from our group we have quite a lot of male friendships i do think they treat us differently yeah than how they treat the boys and i appreciate that i like I like it. I don't feel coddled, but I do feel cared for, you know, and the boys will take the piss of us, of course they will.

But it's never gone to a point personally for me that I'm like, hang on a second. Like, don't fucking speak to me like that. Don't speak to me like that. It'll be nonsense things that I know I can, and also silly things that you could say to me yes or you know my other girlfriends and I wouldn't be offended I think it's really important I think this is such a lovely question for someone to ask yeah I think no you shouldn't treat them exactly the same as

you treat your male friends I don't know the relationships you have with those friends yeah maybe you are very like that maybe the jokes don't go too far yeah but I think just just remind yourself that she's a woman completely different the way she thinks yeah yeah so I think have that same foundations of friendship in the sense of the humor yeah your charisma but just be mindful speak to her like you'd want a boyfriend to speak to your sister yes yes if he said something you thought i don't speak to my sister like that then don't say it to your friend i would say yeah i agree okay do you have any so i've got one what kind of common behavior makes a guy seem creepy or unattractive because creepy creepy is the word i'm like in that made me think

i think staring yeah i think they say on the tubes it is harassment it is it is really uncomfortable and i have seen some men personally to myself also to other women yeah just stare and it could be staring at your boobs yeah it's staring at parts of your body it's really it's really creepy if you're attracted to me if you want to get to know me come up to me yeah don't just stare at me from across the room i don't like that i think that's quite creepy yeah i think staring's bang on actually like i think it's just no inappropriate touching and i'm not being like yes i'm not being like grab of the boobs and the tits and the tits or the ass like that's very generic and don't do that that is weird yeah but what i'm saying i'm like that is still very weird

do not do that but i'm saying like your lower back moving you saying oh grabbing your waist oh sorry i'm just getting past you don't need to touch me yeah there's no need for you to touch me just then yeah yeah and i think it's hard for a man to be like but if they're flirty if there's a relationship like you need to judge that yourself yes have you and her got a flirt she just does she do it to you how long have you been does she does she stroke your arm yeah she's kind of she's then you know if you guys have like broken a touch barrier like that's fine but it's also one of those things that often i find that the most i've been creeped out by men is usually if they're strangers or i'm not close with them yeah or i'm

just getting to know them and then they're immediately very dominant in the way they are like tactile and i that sets me on edge a bit yeah me too yeah also i think sometimes the way which again is it's a hard one but sometimes when you what they say about other women 100 the way they talk about other women and that could be their mom that yeah sisters that could be their ex i mean, the biggest red flag is when someone goes, my ex was a psycho. Yeah, okay. Before, you know, just think, don't disrespect that woman because now I feel disrespected

because what are you going to say about me when we have an argument? I think that can be quite creepy. I agree. So take those on. One guy said, I'm sorry to lower the tone, but I have four sisters and I could never ask them this as I wouldn't want to offend them.

But periods, dot, dot, dot. Is it a constant open tap? And can you feel it? I love it. I love it. I love it. Oh. No, it's not a constant tap.

You can feel it though. You can feel it. Yeah, you can. I wouldn't say it's like if constant tap you can feel it though you can feel it yeah you can i wouldn't say it's like if you've wet your pants no it doesn't feel like you're pissing it's like it's a drop you can feel yeah have you ever been on the tower of terror yeah yeah it's like that it's a stomach drop kind of and you kind of feel yeah yeah and then you could because it is one of those things you know when you've started your period yeah there's a cramp there's a sort of oh yeah and there's also if you've been on a roller coaster if you've been on tower of terror in universe or in disney when

you kind of stomach yeah when you're in the car and you go for a little bump yeah yeah you know it's calm um and it's it's not an an open tap it's like you're on it for five days so you can't be constantly bleeding or four days you can't be constantly bleeding

you'd be passing out so it's just like sometimes you'll go to the toilet and there won't be blood but sometimes you will and there will plenty loads

you never know it's always fun it's really fun do you have any this one made me just die so this one do women get the pee shiver i know sometimes i'll be pissing and then there's an uncontrollable shiver as i'm finishing it up

does that happen with women what imagine you're on the toilet I've never but I also I've never heard men say this either so I'm also like is this just a you thing sir because I like because I I need to ask our male friends about this because I genuinely an uncontrollable

shiver as you're pissing no like I i've never personally had that personally never i've had the shiver we go a random shit yeah you know when someone's treading on your grave yeah that's yeah i've had a random shiver but i've never i don't we not why like a little piss no like a little piss shiver no personally i don't gel in no i i don't but like i can't speak for the whole of women but. Personally, I don't gel. No, I don't. Can't speak for all the women, but I don't. I don't either.

But maybe you'll find someone that does. Hey, no. Hey, ho. Who knows? So someone said, what's the difference between mansplaining and being passionate? I've had a few times where I've got really passionate about topics and then I've been accused of mansplaining.

How do I avoid this? Because it's starting to irritate me oh that's a hard one because i feel like if if you're passionate about something and they don't know what you're what the topic is you're passionate about you explaining it could be perceived as mansplaining because you're trying to give them layman's terms so they can understand why you're excited but i feel like that's not something exclusive to men i think that is a universal thing if for example if i'm like really into bird watching and i saw like the rarest robin ever i would be like no no no kit like you seriously don't understand like there are literally like three red crested fucking golden eyed robins and saw saw one of them on fucking that part of the bridge like flying around flying around the forest like i i would be like trying to get you to understand

why i'm so excited yeah so i think that's a hard one i don't necessarily know how to answer that i don't because i don't think i think you will will just be unfortunately accused of mansplaining I think it's a real shame when he said I read that and felt upset because him saying he's passionate it's like shouldn't be yeah that's and he says how do I avoid this like he's I'm being passionate people are saying you're mansplaining I think what it is stand up for yourself yeah when you feel you're not okay yes yeah of course you'd have to respect their opinion but to the difference i would say mansplaining is almost like treating the woman as an idiot yeah yeah and you're writing in and you sound lovely so i i don't know but as long as you're not treating her like an idiot so if

you're not do you understand yeah you know if you're not patronizing then i think i think you have your right and just say oh i hope i don't try avoid using the word don't say i don't want a mansplain just be like oh i hope i'm not being you know yeah oh but you shouldn't have to apologize if you're not doing anything bad i think maybe just try avoiding words like do you understand yeah or like oh you don't get it you don't get it yeah that's sometimes that's what pisses me off yes when a man says we have a friend and he frankly does it to us all the time and says no you don't understand and i'm like don't tell me what i don't understand yeah like i'm gonna bop your nose i can gauge this is a big deal for you and i'm like, don't tell me what I don't understand. Yeah, like, I'm going to bop your nose. I can gauge this is a big deal for you and I'm excited.

Yes. That's great. I think just try avoid words like that, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I think it is... Maybe, girls, could you write in?

Yeah. Do you have any more? I've got... Do you also get sexually aroused in public for no reason at all like men? And if so, does it die down quickly sexually aroused in public like personally no i don't think i know be randomly like i remember a guy in my spanish class sitting next to me and he just had a boner yeah we were like

and he was like he was ready little man was looking up to the sky yes and i was like what what's going on what's turning you on right now yeah literally nothing and i was like right okay interesting women personally i don't just think oh no i'm not the only time i think is if i'm daydreaming. If you're daydreaming. But then that's not random. But that's not random. Like you are just kind of like in your own thoughts. Women are very, very, they have brilliant imaginations.

We do. And I tell you right now, if I was in here on my own, don't you worry, I won't be doing it while you're here, Paige. Thank you. If I was here on my own, I can imagine, oh, I'll have an orgasm. 100%. Yeah. I can just imagine what i want and fuck me i'll get the tingles oh yeah but do women just sit there like what like

getting a coffee and i'm like oh i'm starting to feel a shiver in me being yeah no not really no not really i would say no to that one yeah i would i would say no yeah and the last one i have before we move on is why do women have hundreds of pillows in their house 20 on the bed 50 on the couch it's endless style that's what i'd say style and sheer fucking elegance that's all i'm saying grace comfort yeah and yes they do end up on the floor when you go to bed yeah but you don't and of course you throw them off the couch because you're like oh like they're decorative yeah they're decorative and it makes it look more homey i love and i like and there's also the option like if you want it is there not like imagine you're sat on a sofa god i wish i had another pillow lame lame lame if that's you no you gotta have

them you gotta have them so we're on to debrief dilemmas fantastic so we have a dilemma sent in by a listener that we will depict which is to do with men and women misunderstanding each other so let's dissect it tell me okay hey girls male listener here who loves the podcast i commute to my job every day on mondays i love to know that the journey will go quickly and be enjoyable oh so sweet i really need your help and advice without sounding too big-headed i feel like i've handled this situation very well and respectfully but you take your own girl you take your own um respectfully but i really don't understand the outcome so to give you context i'm 28 and in a large friendship group, 10 girls and 10 boys.

Fucking hell. Get a great holiday villa. Yeah, you would, wouldn't you? It was made when we all went to uni together 10 years ago and has now become bigger with people from work or in our city. Love that. Oh, that's so nice. Most of the people in our friendship group have slept together or dated.

Yeah. Fantastic. We have three couples in the group from uni. We used to have four couples but my girlfriend and i broke up nine months ago oh it was very mutual we both felt there wasn't a romantic connection anymore she actually brought it up and we came to the conclusion that we're better as friends okay gosh that's hard she brought up bloody hell yeah since then she's been on dates and so have i okay we've seen each other every week with within our friendship group

it's not awkward or anything great that's so amicable fucking hell i'd be a 28 that's mature that is mature that's mature i'd still be like love me but i don't want to love you if i heard you've been on a date i would have hit the roof even if i'd shagged five other people since like it's just not allowed anyways i've recently had feelings for one of the other girls in the group shit i've just started to see her differently and in a way i never have before for the last three months i keep getting nervous around her and excited to see her i haven't said anything as i didn't want to upset my ex as this other girl is in the group disrespect the other girl and my ex aren't best friends but they are close okay my ex

is now in a new relationship with a guy. They've been together for about a month. Okay. He's involved with the group a lot and an all-round lovely person. I'm happy for her. God, you sound like a dream, sir. Who are you? Katie, who are you?

Do you want him? Do you want him? Yeah, please. Anyways, last week, I plucked up the courage to speak to my ex about my feelings for the other girl and if it was okay if I pursued it. Wow.

She asked me if the other girl had shown any interest and I said no not at all this is all coming from me she then said it would be a little strange but to go ahead as she wants me to be happy okay i was delighted it would be strange so i get why she'd say that yeah like that's fair whoever they date is going to be strange now but 100 i was delighted so i asked the girl out and she said yes oh i'm so excited to go on this date and pursue her i haven't been able to stop thinking about her but since i have all the girls in the group have given me the cold shoulder they're still speaking to her but completely and obviously ignoring me giving me dirty looks and making snide comments whenever i speak just being outright petty. I'm so confused.

I thought I handled this the right way, but by not doing anything before speaking to my ex, I got the green light from my ex. I didn't realize I had to ask the whole friendship group. Yeah, fair enough. And my ex is in a relationship, so why does it matter? Please help us. I'm really confused about what I've done wrong and how to handle it.

That's interesting. Oh, God. First of all, I'm'm gonna say i think you've done very well i think you've handled this i think you've handled this beautifully in the best way possible you went to her and spoke about your feelings yeah and you sat on them for a while out respectfully and the fact you went and you shouldn't you didn't need to, but almost like ask permission. Yeah. Which I, that's the only thing I'd be like, oh God, it would have been good if you spoke to her beforehand.

Yeah. That's a yeah. If something like that happened, go, oh, I just wish you'd said something. But you did. I mean, they seem like very mature. Yeah. I think this could potentially, you're all a close friendship group. You said the girl in question that's been asked out has agreed to go on the date.

That's fine. And if they're not being weird with the girl that's going on the date, that's even weirder because I thought girls to girls, it could have been a bit more... What a bit. Shishy.

What a bit. But this could potentially be coming from someone who is like your ex's best friend. This could be stemming from there. But what I don't understand is she's with someone else. Yeah, respectfully, unless... Because if she was single, then it would be different. I'd be like, oh, maybe she still has feelings. there but but what i don't understand is she's with someone else yeah respectfully unless because

if she was single yeah then it would be different i'd be like maybe she still has feelings yeah but she's with someone the only thing i can think of and this is not your fault is that she's said something to the girls that she didn't want to make known to you yeah i think it's a very hard situation when someone an ex comes up to you and asks for permission to pursue someone that you know because you can't say no say no but you want to but you so there are situations where you wish you'd said no yeah but you obviously can't be like no especially if you're with someone else yeah so it really depends but it seems like she's okay with that yeah Yeah. Unless... Look, girls to girls, they can say anything and everything.

Yeah. So she could have gone to her girls and be like, do you know what? I want him to be happy. Yeah. But do you know what? It's really been hard. Like, I'm really...

It now makes me think when we were together, was he looking at her? Yeah. She would say all these things that she didn't say to you because she's like, you know what? I'm in a'm in a relationship yeah fine and it's not that she might i don't think she still has feelings for you because she was the one that broke up with like yeah it was mutual i think it's just that women have a very way of reflecting and then overthinking and she might just have said to the girls maybe didn't even you know was he into her yeah i would think that yeah i

would yeah so she could have said that to the girls and the girls of course are girls girls yeah i'm gonna back her and be like we're gonna give you the cultural yeah yeah what i'm gonna say to you is give it time it's the hardest piece of advice but also back yourself yes you've really handled disrespect you have you have i think you are one of the most decent people that i've ever heard of yeah the way you've handled this the way you've communicated the fact you still see your ex and you're on good terms yeah yeah you complimented her new boyfriend saying he's a nice person i think you really need to know that sometimes things are just out of your control yes yeah and unfortunately this is you can you can control what

you do yeah and everything you have done i think is upright to the to the the highest yes respect 100 but what you can't control is how they react oh yeah and also if you've it's been quite an incestuous group like i i feel like it's good yeah. Yeah, it will blow over. 100%. Yeah. I've only got one. I've got one. Fantastic. Ready? Yeah.

Mine is very similar. When men treat you as if you're obsessed when you just give them basic attention. And this isn't even in a dating sense. This is if you speak to someone like who you've just met and they think they're Billy fucking Big Bollocks. And you're like, oh, so lovely to meet you. and this isn't even in a dating sense this is if you speak to someone like who you've just met and they think they're but billy fucking big bollocks and you're like oh so lovely to me and they're

like oh yeah and i'm like no no just being like a nice person you know like i i remember i did this recently i can't even remember where i was you usually look around when you like fill up water bottles and stuff yeah yeah and i remember saying or do you want me to fill up your water bottle and they're like oh yeah i was like well i'm not fucking proposing am i i'm trying to be all right i'm just trying to be an honest person literally like this is not me like coming on to you in any way i'm just trying to be nice yeah Yeah, genuinely. It's fucking stupid. Okay, mine is, when men call you high maintenance for having high expectations.

Yes, I hate that. Oh God, it's so difficult. It's like, what? It really, it really grunts me. Just because I'd like you to pick me up. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like that. She's so high maintenance.

What, because I've got high expectations? Yeah, there's a difference. It really, I'm like, oh my God, you know god you know i'm just like oh well i'd like this and in the sense of you know it would be really nice to do this together oh god right you're a lot oh well then go then go find someone less yeah yeah honestly ready for questions questions i'm serious and i'm silly so mine is do you think of course this is from a female point of view so we'll have to bear that in mind yeah and it's only our opinion guys we're not oracles yeah but do you katie leach think that men have better instincts about women or women have better instincts about men this is but women have better instincts about men. This is, but women have better instincts about men. Do you?

I'm sorry. Do you? I think they do. I think gut feelings are so, and I don't know, obviously I don't know what male intuition is like, but the, I'm like, women know. Women know.

Women know. Like we've had so many stories sent in where people like literally have a dream that something's happened, they wake up and that's it. It's like premonition and women's intuition and gut feelings i think are gospel yeah and if you think something's going on something's probably going on probably the same way i firmly and i will put this on my grave if you think there's a vibe there's a vibe if you think there is a vibe you cannot's a vibe. If you think there is a vibe, you cannot. Katie Leach, loving mother, fabulous friend.

If you think there's a vibe, there's a vibe. You genuinely can't force a vibe. You'll know if someone's interested. But if you think, God, I thought there was a bit of a vibe there. There was. There was. You're not being delusional.

No. There was. No, not in the slightest. No, not at all. What do you think? I agree with you in the sense i think overall i think women give more time to try to understand like yeah maybe they feel but then i'm coming from a place that i have men around me that are very good with women yes my dad shout out to my dad i love you he's surrounded by women. He's got a sister.

He's got two daughters and my mom. He's always been around women. And God, is he so good with women. He's so sensitive. He's just such an incredible man. Then I started dating Archie, who's also incredible with women. And I will say they both can read me very well and they can see what i need what i'd like how to what to say to me yeah so i'm like 50 50 at this point i'm like it's a hard

one because i feel like in a modern dating aspect i think men know what they want yeah so but they don't necessarily communicate it it's so they could only see you as a shag but they don't necessarily communicate it. So they could only see you as a shag, but they won't tell you that. Well, obviously not. But they know for a fact if they want to pursue something with you relationship wise or not within the first five minutes of a date, I think. Yeah. So my silly question is. Tell me. Would you rather be with the most clueless man alive?

So you have to explain everything to them. Your mummy. Oh, your mummy. Oh, literally explain everything to them. And I'm not even talking about like basic general things like, um,

cleaning, like looking after yourself. Like I'm also talking like sexually, like, Oh, I couldn't teach them how to kiss. Like, Oh my God. Everything. teach them how to kiss like oh my god everything oh okay

how to shag oh my god or have female friends that give the worst advice like the worst advice in the world where if you were like i just don't know what to do i'd be like propose maybe like i think you should maybe propose but that's not the fucking point you've got for fuck's sake like you just want some good advice like and that's even like any female so you go to your mum your mum is my weapon you go to your mum and she's like maybe just open a zoo oh no and you're like what no yeah i think that could help oh my god i'm gonna have to have a clueless man i need my girls yeah i'm the biggest girl's girl and when i come to you when i've had an argument with arch yeah and i'm like was i in the wrong

like am i being really out of order and you're like i got you and i'm like thank you i need you my mom my girls i'm like come on yeah like me my sister like i need the women in my life with my clueless man i'll put on a documentary of everything they need to know about me yeah yeah i'll be like come on and then boom boom on it weapon yeah yeah that's what we thought right guys we're coming to the end of the episode happy monday happy bleeding monday start to june have a great week june is busting out all over lovely yes remember guys, Casey will be performing in Edinburgh in August. What's your start date?

Second. Second to the 24th. To the 24th. If you go online, Lambda into the woods, buy tickets. They really appreciate it. We're going to be there so we'll celebrate it. The meet and greet. The meet and greet. Remember to follow us on Instagram. and email us

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