The Debrief - She Said She Was A Girls Girl….| The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

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Welcome to the debrief with your co-host Kitty McNeil and co-host Katie Leigh. Here we are, it's another day, another dollar. Happy Monday in this hallway. Halt. Halt. It's halt. We saw out. It's out. The window wide open last night. Did you?

Yeah. Except for the window wide open. Really? That's not true. Yeah. So what? Now you need to be careful in the summertime because I'm telling you. So listeners, Kit, Arch and I all share a wall.

Oh yes. Yes. Now the walls are thin, fair enough. And it goes both ways. Yeah. Goes both ways. Yeah. However, when the windows are open. Stop it. I might as well be. Stop it, you can hear everything. You can hear everything. Every conversation. Like word for word conversation. I've had it before where I'm going to sleep and I'm

like, what are you talking about? Hello, stop it. And I'm like, one are you talking about? Hello, stop it. And I'm like, one eye open. Stop it. I'm like, I'm getting their pillow talk right now. Because you know when you're like, you hear like, like murmurs. No, I can literally, if you're like when you were on your Zoom earlier, I heard every word. I was like, I'm going to go into the garden because I might as well be in your room.

Just in on therapy with me. Yeah, I was like, hi, hi, therapist, this is me. And then, so it's my and Archie's anniversary today. And we've had a lovely day. Brunch, went for a bit of sun. We had our dinner a few days ago, but this is our proper day. So we were like, right, we'll still do something on the day, which is nice. Did prezis, all that kind of stuff. Then we came back and had a lovely shag.

Well, yeah. But we did forget our housemate works from home. Hilarious. So we did then afterwards. Oh. Well. Well. We kind of, I let Archie get her off me.

Yeah. You know, and then we kind of rolled over. Like, oh. Legs clenched, butt cheeks clenched. And looked at each other and was like, is Bleep, that's what his name is, is Bleep still home? And Arsh was like, yeah, I think he is. And you hear that fucking cough. And then Katie has donuts, like this tray of donuts. It's criminal. Katie's just left

these here for temptation. I was meant to leave a little note on the box being like, please take these. I felt kind of bad though because I took a bite out of each one. Yummy. Individual because I just wanted to see what the flavours were. Someone could jam me a bit in. What is that? That's peanut butter jelly. Oh no, I wouldn't like that. What's the other one? The other one's jam.

Yummy. And then there was a chocolate one, but the chocolate one seems to have disappeared. I think. So someone's had a nibble. I think Archie's had a bit of a swing on that chocolate donut. I was like, interesting. They were so cute though. I went in and I was like, what is this box?

And he'll ask me, they're donuts. How dare she leave them in the kitchen because all I've been thinking about all day at home is one of those donuts. It's what he said to me. I was like, you're right. He's like, who's donuts are in? I was like, oh they're mine. You can have some. He's like, all right. They're quite tempting all day. I kept going through, do you mind if I have one of these donuts? I was like, I don't know. There were six of them. I was like, genuinely take them off my head.

Right. Shall we? Yes, let's. Okay. So my mantra for this week is to do with the theme, which is I deserve friends who lift me, not drain me. I think we all need to know this. I think the last week or so, I have, I always have known this, but I have just realized how lucky I am to have you in my life. Oh my God, don't cry.

I think you are the greatest friend to anyone and especially to me. Oh my God. And I am blessed by the universe, by God to put me on this path to find you because the sisterhood you've given me is absolutely just touching and I do trust you with my life and I love you more than anything and I think I've always felt such care for you but especially this last week I've had a really hard weekend. I just, I do consider you my family and I'm just thank you. Thank you so much for being in my life and being my person. I love you. I've got you. I love you darling. Tell me your mantra. Mine is I am who I surround myself with.

Oh, nice. I feel like I really like that one. Similarly, like I think this past week, especially yesterday, like I just, I have felt like, and I find it really hard to, I feel like it's always such a cliche, but like I've just felt so overwhelmed in the best way. Good, good. Like of just like. I have so many good things going on, but it's overwhelming. Yeah. I felt nothing but so much love and support from so many people. And it was genuinely very overwhelming. I was sat by myself sobbing being like, there are so many people that have come to

support me, who love me. and genuinely love you and like really I just felt it like so overwhelmingly over the past week and I was just like oh I was just such a grateful little bunny. Oh my god. Just for context for listeners, Katie yesterday had her first West End debut. Hell yeah. And fucking hell she sang her socks off. I bawled my eyes out. Katie's mum bawled her eyes sang her socks off. I bawled my eyes out. Katie's mumbled her eyes out. Her dad. I bawled my eyes out. Oh my gosh. And she

smashed it. She absolutely smashed it. And I know you're going to have the most incredibly bright future in musical theatre. I just saw you shine. Oh, thanks girl. I love that though. My song this week is Sisters are doing it for themselves by Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox. Annie Lennox, man. What a legend. What a fucking legend. So sing me your song, Katie. There's a line. Is this from Love Never Dies or Phantom of the Opera? Obviously me and Archie have now been together for four years. So we sat on the sofa for about 20 minutes coming up with a four years caption. As you showed, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And all that kept coming into my mind was the four years chasing. Now, I can't be sure but I think it is Love Never Dies. I think it is. Because like, four years, four years, something like that. Time has passed, you know. Yeah, something like that. Because Love Never Dies is set like years later. Yeah. I think it's complete sidetracked. Mine is said that you're a girl's girl. That's a lie. Said you had your back had the knife. Oh, lovely. I, what is it? Now I wouldn't do it once, but you did it twice. And you were telling your side. So I'd be telling my own. That was a really butchered

version of We're Not Alike by Tate McCray. Love it. McCray's really slept on. As she's saying that is she, she's quite popular, but I'm like, I love to be big up. She is honestly I'm like gonna put it out there. I think she's the next Britney Spears. Do you? Honestly, she is like revolutionized. She kind of like everyone's like Olivia Rodrigo and Sabrina Carpenter. She kind of brought back like the pop star that dances. Really? She dances with a fucking Britney Mike and she has like, she's very Brittany reminiscent. Oh, I need to watch her because if I'm being honest, I don't even really know what she looks like. Kate McCrae, she is insane. She's kind of like blonde brunette.

Okay, I need to have a look at this. She's insane. Yeah. So for my own recommendation, this week it's a film. Oh yeah. Give it to me. Have you ever watched Are You There? God, it's me, Margaret. No. Oh, Katie. Oh, Katie, you'd love it.

Oh my God. So I watched it whilst I was in Devon. Nice. And it was me, Archie's mum, Archie's two sisters and Archie's granny. And obviously Archie. So it was all the women. And Archie's sister's boyfriend and Archie's dad didn't want to watch it because it's about a young girl getting her period. Archie was laughing. Archie was the only one out of the audience that cried. He was like, oh my gosh, she's so emotional. I'm so happy for her. But it is Rachel McAdams plays the mom. Nice.

It's a really interesting film. And you relate so much to it. You relate to her like going through the different feelings of puberty about boobs, you know, when am I going to get my boobs and also about friendships, because there's a few friendships in there where one of them lies about she's got a period and she's got had it and then she goes out for a meal with this friend and the friend's family and she goes into the toilet and she starts crying and she's like, get my mom, get my mom. And the mom she says, oh, she's on a period and Margaret goes, does she do that every month? And she says, oh no darling, this is her first time.

Oh, snaked out, snaked out, snaked out. Yeah, it's about, it's about, it's really interesting about female friendships, becoming a woman, those different feelings. Oh, I love that. And it's a great film, really, really good. And it's obviously based off the book, but it was brilliant. I love it. I was like, this is so good.

I love A Coming of Age. Have you ever read the Judy Blume books? No, I haven't. Now, Judy Blume is like soft porn. But I fucking lapped it up. Yeah. See, for women, it's all about the mental. Yeah. Read in the sexual story. I'd go back to the chapter last, if it turned me on. Men need visual, women, mental.

It's quite Fifty Shades of Grey, it's so well as a book series. Yeah, because honestly, Judy Blume, a whole chapter about giving a guy a handjob for the first time. Come on now. God, call it the little general. Stop it. Call it the little, and I'm literally... Imagine me 14 years old like... Wow. The Little General.

Do you know what I called Archie's Mr. Fredrickson from Up. But some things are... We need something original. We need something original. Do. We need something original here. Do you know what mine's called? Little Miss Lady. I did unfortunately know this. Because she's got class, but she's also got the sassitude.

Can be a freak in the sheets. The sassitude. The sassitude. She's got the sassitude to the gaw. Can't wait for my boyfriend to name my poos. Oh, I can't wait for your poos name. Yeah. I hope it's like...

He kind of iconic. You know what my mum's mum used to tell my mum to call her little foof? Little Mary. Little Mary. Your little Mary. Your little Mary. Oh my god, I love that. It never really surpassed in our family.

Mum made us call the little poos. Boo Boo. Boo Boo. past in our family, mum made us call the little poos, boo boo. Which was quite soft, which was nice. It's not as harsh as vagina. A child saying vagina. My mum hates the word fanny. She was like, that's vulgar. She was like, boo boo is a bit soft. But then we met a girl called Boo. And I had a field day, we were like, why would anyone name their child after your genitals? That I see I was a front bottom family, which is a bit like prude, I think. And it's also quite, it's very descriptive. Very descriptive. Very descriptive. Not boo boo. Boo boo is like sugar coated wrapped up in a nice little bow. From the bottom you've got the whole visual.

It's not little lefty. Like boo boo. What are you thinking about? That's very cute. Very demure. Yeah, completely. I can't make my kids call it your Pussington just because we do. And then I'll be like to your little one when she comes over and I'm looking after her. And I'm like, she goes, I've got an itch. She goes on me Pussington. I'm like, good girl. Yeah.

Good girl. Atta girl. Atta girl. Running after us. Right, shall we? Yes. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. about the energy that isn't loving and isn't supportive or safe. And today we're going to be talking about that. This episode is for the girl who's been side-eyed, subtly competed with, emotionally drained or made to feel too much by the people who were supposed to be your friends. This is not what we're having. So we're first going to talk about some subtle signs of a toxic friendship. Because sometimes it is quite hard to recognize when

you're so invested in a friendship. Because especially when someone manipulates their hurtful comments into making you feel like you're just being too sensitive or overthinking the scenario. But the truth is, you're not. These comments are manipulative and they are calculating and they are nasty. So here are the red flags to look out for. So the first one, if you feel drained after hanging out with a friend, that should not be the case. Now, listen to me. I'm not saying you've had a night out, you're knackered, you're exhausted. You've worked a five, you've worked all week and you're feeling really unwell

and you go out for a night. That's not the same. What I'm saying is you meet up for a friend and yes, you're still tired of that, but you come away feeling that was exhausting. Not because you've been out clubbing or because you've been laughing loads and your stomach hurts, but because you're like, I had to put so much effort in there. Yeah, I wasn't receiving a lot back. I think that's number one. Number two, backhanded compliments, passive aggressive jobs. I'm going to give you an example. Yeah. Oh, so interesting. You're wearing that jumper case. So interesting. So really nice because I personally never wear it. I would never wear such like a muted color. I'd never wear it. I would never wear such like a

muted color. I'd never wear that. But you look great in it. Disgusting. Disgusting. What is the point? That girl's is worth the beef. Oh, it's so what it's just honestly and it creeps up on you. Oh, it does. And then you know what's funny is it takes one person to go, if you ever notice they do that to you. And then, oh my god, and you go, yeah, fuck they do. you ever noticed they do that to you and then, oh my God, it. And you go, yeah, fuck they do. Yeah, they do do that. They do do that. Yeah. And it's like, it's also mocking if they mock something you're good at.

Yeah. That's a big sign of jealousy. Or they belittle it. So let's say big up Katie yesterday doing the debut. If someone says something, oh, so cute. You're doing your hobbies. It's so cute. You're putting time into it. One, bitch, it's not a hobby. Two, it's not cute. It's impressive what I did. And it's also worth the congratulations. That's given jealousy to me. Three, the constant competition disguised as motivation. Not having any of this. No.

So say again, Kate and I do a spin class. Yeah. And let's say I see Kate. Okay, first of all, has any of the girls noticed that sometimes if you're at the gym or on a treadmill, you get some bloody competitive Karen next to you on the treadmill, starts looking at what speed you're on and just goes 0.5 faster. Darling, what's up with that? People at Barry's are really bad for this.

Really? Yeah, it's very competitive in there. It depends what kind of class, but I've seen it before. It's mad. On treads. Yeah. It depends what kind of class, but like I've seen it before. It's mad. Of treads. Yeah. It's wild. And then like keeping you, I'm boosting you up, keeping them motivated. Yeah.

I'm not competitive. I don't care. Yeah. I'm going at my own pace. Thank you. I don't care what you're doing. Number four. We spoke about this before the podcast even started from the very beginning. Believe it or not, there is a debrief before the debrief. There's always a debrief before the debrief. Yeah, big time.

They only show up for your lows and not your highs. This is so pertinent. This is so pertinent. This is pretty self-explanatory. So I don't need to give an example here, but we were talking about this. Yeah. That we think, well, I was saying, it's interesting how someone in our lives does this. Oh yeah. Really interesting that, you know, when you're crying, Katie, or when you feel really shit, they're all here.

But when? But when? It is absolutely crazy that like, if I'm having a bad day, my phone starts ringing, what can I do? What can I do? And then the minute like I'm okay, I will not hear from them for weeks. Interesting.

Weeks and weeks. And that just screams bad vibes. It is. Because why would you not celebrate your friend's success? I truly do. Even if they're in the same industry. You know, Katie and I are in similar industries. You're doing MT and I'm doing acting. However, we are completely different in our skills and what we thrive at. You know, Katie and I are in similar industries. You're doing MT and I'm doing acting. However, we are completely different in our skills and what we thrive at. So therefore I would never compete. I'd be like, Oh my god, this is amazing for you. You know, and even someone who would compete with you in that industry, they need to realize they're completely different from you.

So the roles you'll be getting, they won't be. And the roles they get, you won't be. That's the thing. It's something that I'm learning. It costs nothing to be nice. No, exactly. And just be a decent person. Completely open. I'm just such a firm believer that there's a seat for everyone. I agree. That's such nice things though. It is just one of those things. And there is space for everyone and there is moments for everyone to shine.

Especially this person in particular, I'm so different from him. We would never be in for the same things. You are completely different to this person. Yeah, I agree. We would never be in for the same things. No. So be happy. Let's not. Because I'm happy for you. The fourth one is very interesting. And I think what a lot of girls and guys have experienced, but it's not feeling fully safe being your full self. Again, quite self-explanatory. But if I'm

thinking I'm about to meet Katie for coffee, we haven't seen each other for a few weeks, I'm thinking, Oh God, let me put myself together a bit. Like what am I going to say? You know, it's fine to think about what are you going to say, all those kind of things. But if I'm arriving not fully Katie McNeil, and I'm having to alter things because I think, well, Katie won't really like if I do that. Also, Katie won't really find that all, Katie won't make sure I won't say this in front of Katie. Okay, there is a difference with you have different friendships, and some friendships offer other things, you know. However, I would say all my friends, probably you the most, do know my bad qualities and call me out on them, you know, but still love me.

And I think, I think friendship is knowing that if you left a room, that person wouldn't speak badly of you. Even if Katie was, I think made me so, this is bleeds back to what I was saying at the start of the episode. I spoke to Katie about something that was upsetting me and an issue I was having. And Katie was incredible, I'm just about you, not you, not her. But you were incredibly insightful to me, giving me constructive criticism, knowing me and loving me. Yeah. And I remember talking to my parents about this, about something you had said. Yeah. Wow. I was feeling brave that day.

They were like, wow, does she know you? And I, and there was, you know, moments where you really have to sit back and you think, gosh, these people love me, but they know this about me. And, but they're not afraid to say, look, sometimes you can be defensive or sometimes you can be, you know, something else. And I, God, sometimes you can be defensive or sometimes you can be something else. And I, God, I appreciated that. But I know for a fact, you wouldn't be sat with some people I don't know and say, Oh God, she's such a bitch. No, that I think there's the difference. There's a big difference. There's a massive difference,

I feel. But I just know like, you would do exactly the same for me. What is it? It's like back them in public, speak to them in private. I'm such a the same for me. What is it? It's like back them in public, speak to them in private. I'm such a big advocate for that. If you kicked off at someone in front of me, I would back you to the hills and then later on be like, what's the matter my love? Because that wasn't very well-handed. I'll be like, what's going on? And I think it's actually what I appreciate most about you is that you said that and I said, God, I value that so much. So that's a big thing. And the last thing is friends who always need saving but never check on you. So very similar to the ones about they enjoy your lows, not your highs. And I think

with this one, I experienced it with a friend. I looked back over all messages and anytime we were chatting, it was because I was asking them how they were or when they first did start the conversation, it's because I've got so much to fill you in on about my life. I was like, Oh God, okay, so it's always about you and your life and needing saving and you need help and all this, but you're not really checking in on me, are you? So now we are going to discuss and dissect maybe our favorite female TV friendships. Now these are significantly branded as potentially quite toxic. 100%.

First we have Blair and Serena. Now they're dynamic. They're classic frenemies. There's the difference. Frenemies love hate that relationship that's full of competition. There's jealousy, passive aggressive comments. Blair constantly feels threatened by Serena's effortless beauty and charm while Serena feels like Blair always tries to outdo her. So their toxic traits are manipulation, constant power struggle, betrayal, backhanded compliments. I mean, it makes me remember, do you remember the episode where she blurted out that it's that college fair and Serena really wanted to get into Brown. And she made a speech saying that like Serena had just been admitted as an alcoholic or something.

Oh, I do remember that. Yeah. Gossip Girl, man. It's such a fucking good show. It was a fantastic show. Fantastic. But it really showed a toxic friendship. Yes.

Because I think friendships, like as we've spoken about before, can be really toxic. Yeah. But I don't think I've ever experienced the level of that show. I was like, wow. It was crazy And it was always like it always felt like it was fueled by Blair, but also like Serena Serena was a bit of a pick-me-up Serena was a bit of a pick-me-up So remember she slept with Blair's boyfriend. Let's not forget about that. Let's not forget Shag Nate. Blair had a reason that's what I'm gonna say. I. Blair had a reason, that's all I'm gonna say.

I mean- She had a reason to go for her. Yeah and then Serena was the one, I had to get out of town. Come on, you shagged my boyfriend. You shagged my boyfriend. Probably took his virginity. Yeah, took his virginity. Blair had been saving herself.

Cornet. That's a write off. And not only was it, that was on that bloody bar, wasn't it? Top of that bar. Come on now. That's a write off. And not only was it that it was on that bloody bar wasn't it? Top of that bar. Come on now. Come on now. Come on now. I'm not having any of that.

Let's not be silly. So the other one. Yeah, tell me. Iconic. The plastics. My name is Regina Joyce. It's a bit from Mean Girls, the musical. The Plastics. My name is Regina George. It's a bit from Mean Girls, the musical.

Oh my, thank you. Love that. Tell me. The dynamic is Regina George, Karen Smith, Gretchen Wieners. Love it. Their friendship is built on a toxic girl culture. So Gretchen is trying too hard to please Regina. Karen plays the dumb one while simultaneously trying to seek approval from others. And Regina holds all the power and manipulates it all for her own benefit.

So again, it's manipulation, insecurity driven competition. Yeah, she fucking loves it. The whole, you can't sit with us. Oh, it's awful. The, it's comparison of looks, popularity, boys, and they always tear each other down while pretending to be best friends. And Regina tries to keep them around for her own benefit because they'll do anything she says.

Now don't get me wrong girls, these characters, Blair and, um, Serena, Plastic, they're great for Halloween. You gotta do them for Halloween. You gotta dress up as them. But god, Gus, please do not aim your friendships to be like this. No. Because saying you can't sit with us because you've put on a few pounds and you can't fit

into something that's pink. I mean, it's awful. On Wednesdays we wear pink. I mean, very cute. It's off really nice. But then Regina puts on a few pounds and can't fit into anything that's pink. So they're like, get out. Or is it the sweatpants? You can't wear sweatpants. And it's also one of those things that's like, they were scared of her. You should never be scared of your friends. No, God no. You should never be like, oh my God, are you going to have a go at me? Your friends shouldn't be unpredictable.

No. Yeah. Exactly. Because that's when you're scared. Not like, ah! But like, how are you going to approach me today? Are you going to be in a really good mood or are you going to be really mad? And then I have to match that? That's what we mean. Absolutely. And should we go on to dilemmas? Let's do it. Dilemma. Okay. I've got a fantastic one.

Let's hear it. So, hi girls. Love the pod. Thought I needed to a fantastic one. Let's hear it. So, Hi girls, love the pod. Thought I needed to write in as I really need your help. So, I need your thoughts on this with my debrief. So I'm going to go straight into it. I've been friends with this girl at uni for a while. We're both at Oxford Brookes together. Lovely.

And I've always thought we had each other's backs. We met on week one and we are one of the rare friendships that actually stick from week one. Lovely. Recently I told her that I think I have feelings for this boy that I've been talking to who is in our joint friendship group and we have been casually dating but have agreed it's now exclusive. She looked at me totally unimpressed when I said I had feelings and goes, Oh, really? He's so ugly. It really stung. But I let it slide. That is really mean.

That is really mean. And also I think criticizing someone's choice, you know, if you were like, such and such is really hot or I really felt and I'm like, oh, he's a minger. That also makes you feel like a minger. Because you're like, oh, oh, well, maybe I shouldn't. Yeah. It's a horrible thing to say. It's a horrible thing to say. Anyway, I also thought it was quite bitchy when she is supposed to be one of his friends as well. Yeah, true. Granted, they aren't close, but we are in the same friendship group. A few days later, she met up with him one on one.

This bitch. This fucking bitch. They have never done that before. And in fact, she posted on her Instagram story and captioned it, so good to catch up. Oh, fuck off. Oh, that would infuriate me. It would absolutely be. My blood pressure's rising. I thought it was so weird, but I didn't say anything. When she got back, I asked her how it was and she said, yeah, really nice. Oh, he's so nice to talk to. But I just wanted to let you know, as your best friend, of course, that he did say he's not really looking for

anything serious, by the way. I was pissed. Oh, he said that. But kept quiet. Yeah. I was mainly embarrassed girls, but didn't want to admit it. Yeah, fair. Yeah. Now I'm feeling so weird around her. It's like she's trying to sabotage something that was mine and making me question if I can trust her. She's been there for me in the past,

but this felt too personal. Am I overreacting or is this genuinely shady? I don't even know if he said that or she made it up, but I don't know what to do. I fucking hate this shit. I hate her. She's blacklisted in my eyes. This happened to me. I could not call this girlfriend anyway. We did not get on. But I swear to fuck why, why, why do people move in this way? It's so petty first of all, and it's only jealousy.

It's only jealousy. But literally I have this exact same situation where I was talking to a guy, it was very, very well known amongst the group that I was chatting to this guy who was getting on really well, that he was interested. And my god, of course you're a perfect person to speak about this. And we, it was very well established. She had made it clear to me, oh my God, like, this guy is not your type, like, oh God, like, he's not my type, like, like, that's so disgusting, what the fuck? All over him like a rash. And then what's even worse is I later found out that they got- That is just criminal. After, only after the fact that I said I was interested and we were actively talking. So I just, that shit, I don't have time for.

I don't blame you. It's so rude and it felt to me like a, you want to have this, so I'm going to get there first, just so I can say I've done it before you have. And I'm like, I hate that kind of in a competitive nature. I hate it. Literally. I hate it. Yeah, I think, I think Katie's bang on. I would distance yourself to be honest. You need to distance yourself. And also, this girl is clearly very insecure. If she feels she needs to make you feel shit for seeing him,

but like, oh, you think he's attractive? He's not attractive. And by proxy, you're not attractive. Yeah, what the fuck? But he probably would fancy me. So let me go hang out with him, make you feel insecure that he doesn't want something serious, but he wants to hang out with me. This is not a friend. No. This is not a friend. This is not a friend. What I would do, you need to find out if he said that. I was just about to say, talk to him. You need to find out. Because interestingly, similar, in a similar situation, I got told a

lot of things to me from this girl that this guy had said about me that were not true. Come on now. Come on then. That actually, and there were receipts. I saw the receipts. This is literally so similar. Like he did not say these things because I was then- What a shit bag. And she did it bitch. Every single person in my gear group that was chatting to a guy, she started DMing them. It was crazy. That is criminal in my eyes. I'm completely bad vibes.

Completely. Such bad vibes. I just don't have time for it. Don't go psycho on it. I think you need to go chat to him and be like, hey, look, I've had this. Jennifer, let's call her Jennifer. Jennifer says that you said this. If that's the case, that's fine. But it would have been nice coming straight to me first. Yeah. And actually, don't say that straight away.

Be like, hey, Jennifer said this. Is that the case? Is this where we're sitting right now? See what he says. If he says, yes, I did say that. Be like, OK, cool. That's fine. And also, you're better off without someone who then meets up with your good friend. But let's have a look. And then just be like, okay, I kind of wish you

communicated that to me rather than other people. And then after that, I think you need to take a step back because if he is interested in you and I think if he does want you, he'll then put the F in. And yeah, he needs to make up for that. If he goes, I did not say that. Well, that's where we are. You can say, well, that's really interesting because I've been told a complete different story. Can I get back to you on this? And I would say keep building that trust with him. But I think also he needs to know to not be a fucking idiot

and to go keep meeting up with her and letting things be twisted Yeah, it's weird. I think with her If he comes back and says he doesn't say didn't say it. Yeah, I think you should say something I should be like look I've talked to Brian. Yeah, he said he didn't say this Yeah, I don't appreciate you getting in the middle of things and I'd also say I just wanted to cut Do you have feelings for him? Yeah. Let that land. Let that sit. Don't say anything. Don't say anything else.

Look for a beat. And then she goes, Oh my God, no. Don't say anything. Just go. And see what she says. Because she's wanting you to react. She's wanting you to go like, well, you clearly did this, you've done this. Don't've been a little bit, don't do that. Just be like, cool as a cucumber. Cool as a cucumber. And just leave it there. Distance yourself from this cratton.

She's gone. It's so slimy, it's so slimy. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. And go chat to him. Yeah. Good luck, darling. Good luck. Should we do X? Yeah. X. Good luck darling. Good luck. Should we do it?

Yeah. Okay, I've got one. I've got one. Okay. Yeah. I'm ready. So my eight this week is undermining your other friendships. So what I mean by this, you get friends with this girl called Stacey.

Yeah. Okay. You love Stacey. Yeah. You keep introducing me to Stacey, bringing me and Stacey. Yeah. Okay. You love Stacey. Yeah. You keep introducing me to Stacey, bringing me and Stacey together. And I'm like, Stacey's a bitch. And you're like, right, kissy. Like, I really like Stacey.

Stacey's alright. And I'm like, fuck. Really? Really? Stacey? Yeah. Nah, get out my face. Get out my- Now it's different.

Here's the difference. Yeah. Nah, get out of my face. Now it's different. Here's the difference. Yeah. If you're really close, that's the only if. Yeah. So if your best friend material, and she goes, yeah, do like, but sometimes she's like, oh yeah, go with me, but we love her. And that's been nice.

Yeah, that's fine. I had this recently when my sister told me that one of my so-called friends, bitched about one of my very good friends to my sister and was like, said really bad things about her. Lily told me, I was like, big up little. I was like, that's it, me out with you now. It is icky because it's like, it also feels like a competitive thing again, being like, Very competitive. You're like, it's so like childish that like your friend can't have other friends.

Yeah. And also it makes me not trust you and thinking I don't want you to be around my really close friends because my really close friends I love. Yeah. Yeah. You're clearly not one of them. Literally. Boom. Mine is. So off topic, but passing people who are walking their dogs. Now I personally feel like there's a lot of pressure on these situations because I personally don't come up from a dog household, you know, cat household.

I think people expect, you know, maybe call me a pessimist, but like, I think people expect you to fucking fawn over their dogs. I think when people are walking their dogs, they're being like, look how fucking lovely my dog is. So when you walk past them, I sometimes get a bit of a frosty reception if I'm not like, I'm not gonna fucking pander your dog's ego. Okay. Right. It happened. I noticed it a lot when we walked to the pub at Easter, walking past lots of people on dog walks. And like, you make eye contact with them and they're almost like, yeah, they're lovely, aren't they? And I'm like, look, I'm not a dog person. I'm not going to inflate your dog's ego. Okay. Barnaby clearly gets enough of it.

Yeah. From you at home. Right? He honestly doesn't give a fuck what I am. I'm not going to be like, oh. Do you know what's so interesting on that topic is that when I see a dog, I hate when owners don't, when I'm like, oh, bless him. And they're like, hmm.

What? Why do you being a dog? I think your dog's cute. If your dog is cute, you should have people pandering to it. But like, I think sometimes there's an air of people expecting, like, she's nice, isn't she? Do you? Look at my dog.

Look at her. She's very good. And I'm like, listen, like, it's nice, but I'm not gonna stop what I'm doing. Ah! Like, it's nice, but I'm not gonna stop what I'm doing. Like, no. Like, and it just happens where I felt like I kept making awkward eye contact with people on this walk because they're like, I'm like, and everyone's like, I'm not looking at you dog.

I'm just wishing you a happy Easter. Come on now. Like, God, I know. But then again, if I, if I managed to take my cat for a walk, not that that would ever happen. They're fucking miserable. You know we have a cat. Like, I was in the garden earlier. And everyone else was sunbathing in the gardens. We live in a flat, so like there are a few flats and we want to knock on. There was a cat and they were like, oh, he's back. There's a cat. Apparently, we've

got a cat. Oh, I'm going to seek it out. I was like, what? Yeah. Shall we do questions? Let's do questions. I've got serious. And I am a thuy. Fantastic.

Right. So my question is, what's the most subtle red flag you've experienced in a friendship that, looking back, should have told you the relationship was toxic? It has to be really subtle. and you're like, what? It could be subtle back then. It doesn't have to be subtle now. Oh, definitely like undermining me. I think I often confine myself less so now, but I used to find myself in that position a lot where like I'd be friends with people. I think because I have a naturally self-deprecating kind of humor and like personality, I'd never take myself too seriously.

I think often that opens a door for people to take advantage of that and then make me the butt of the joke in social situations. And I found that that used to happen a lot with this one person at school and I genuinely was oblivious to it until a good friend of mine pointed it out and was like, do you realize she does this to you all the time? And then I was like, whoa, oh my God, she does. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, that's so interesting. What about you? I think the one that I said that I found that...

Actually, I will tell you the exact example. I was chatting to someone else and it was about something about me. I can't remember what it was now. Let's say it was an audition. It was something within that realm and the person was like, oh, that's really exciting. And then she came up to me and she said, well, why didn't you tell me? And I said, because you never ask. And that was a bit of a moment for me where I thought, actually, you don't.

Yeah, you don't. Literally, you don't know anything about my life. Or if someone said, what's Kit been up to for the last few months? You wouldn't know, would you? No. So I think probably that, recognizing that, oh shit, you never show any interest in me. Yeah.

Okay, hit me with the silly. Okay. If you could be best friends with any fictional character, who would they be and why? Could I say Ian Somerhalder? Who best friends, not who who you want to shag. Right, okay. That's hard then. Yeah. Okay. You could be besties with Ian Somerhalder. You'd be in love.

Yeah, quite. Damon Gurley's To Our Core. To Our Core. Never Stefan. Always Damon. Never Stefan. No, no. Never Stefan. Never Stefan. That's a really good question. Let me think who I'd

want as my best day. I quite like Draven, remember Draven? Oh my god, oh my god. Draven. I would love to be besties with Draven. I'd be like, what's that mean to me in the future love? And she'd be like, yeah, well I'll shag him. Go on, give it a, should I shag him? But she's like, you're in the eyes. And she's like, it's not going to go well.

Okay. Interesting. I think she'd be quite cool. She'd be a great, great bestie. Who else? Maybe someone with lots of money. Maybe like- Like shopper. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe like Lily Vandewoets and Serena's mum. Then she could like pay for me to go places. That'd be quite nice. Yeah. She could be on my last day. Yeah. Well even if she's not fictional, it's like Chris Jenner. Kind of fictional in her own right.

Oh, but she could pay for Kitty Jets. Oh, yes. You could fly places. Completely. Yeah. How about you? Weirdly, the first thought that came to mind was SpongeBob. Really? So I think SpongeBob's a yes man. Oh, one hundred percent.

SpongeBob would be like, you fucking got this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be like, you'd think he'd be like, meh. Like yeah, yeah you do. He wouldn't let you down. Like he'd be my constant. He'd be on it. Oh, you'd like Snoopy.

He'd have a man. Oh, he doesn't say shit though. I'm a word of affirmation girl. No, he doesn't. You are, actually. shit though. I'm a word of affirmation girl. I bet what do you think? Can he be like, please, please, please don't, please. Or maybe like Scooby Doo. All of these are cartoons.

Maybe I'd go for like, oh, I did love. What's her name from was the way Alex Russo. I love Alex Russo and also she's magic. So I could be like, could you do this? And she'd be like, Oh, I always wanted to be best friends with Hannah Montana. Come on. Closet light in my closet. I always wanted to be Lily. Oh, you would have been Lily. I would have been Lily. Like you would have been Lily. I would have been Lily. Like I would have been Lily. And then been Lola. Yeah, you would have been Lola. I would have loved her. She was brilliant. Yeah. Right guys, we got to the end of the app. Hope you have a fantastic week. Yeah, I do. And we love you. SPF on.

Oh, absolutely. Stay safe out there chickens. We saw someone in Wandsworth Park full bikini. They were white as a cloud. God, the UK are just ambitious aren't they? We are so ambitious. Yeah, I love it. Go on. Go on bros. Love you guys.

Love you. Bye. I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul