The Debrief - The Debrief (Archie's Version)

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

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🎵 Hello! Hi everyone, how are you doing? Good morning, good morning, good morning. It's bright in the studio this morning. It's bright and breezy. She had to come into Katie's room to wake her up. Like little moles in the world. I texted her like, Katie,

can I use your eyeshadow palette? Katie was like little wrapped up baby. Oh my little burrito. You did look very comfy to be fair. I was very comfy. Right, this episode's going to be a bit different. It is going to be a bit different. Don't worry. It's not only

the debrief duo. We've got a guest different. Is it gonna be a bit different? Tell me why. It's not only the debrief duo. We've got a guest on. Yeah. I know. How are you feeling for it, Peach? I'm nervous. We're not gonna tell them yet. We're gonna do the mantras.

Got you. We're gonna do the song and just leave them in suspense. Oh, yeah, yeah. Brilliant, yeah, yeah. Brilliant. Why not, hey? Absolutely.

Well, let's crack on. Let's crack on. Mantra time. Tell me your mantra. My mantra is simple. Tell me. Simple to the point. I can and I will is this reference to um the pie recently yeah yeah yeah yeah it's all about the bounce back

guys it's all about the bounce back i can and i will i you, we went out for drinks last night and the pie was brought up. And yeah, Peter was just like, what? She was like, can we just kind of go over the situation? I'm living in a nightmare. Yeah, I'm living in a nightmare. Living in denial. Yeah, I can and I will. And what do you want to will?

What's in your kind of mindset? To be honest, today I need to get myself to the gym. So I can go to the gym. Yeah. And you will. I will go. I won't just get back into bed. Yeah.

Because that's really tempting. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Right, let me tell you mine. Tell me. I focus on strengthening my bonds with the people I love. Oh. I know. I actually, I've actually had...

Oh, yeah, I know, I know. Yeah. It hits your eye, doesn't it? Yeah. I've actually had such a nice week of spending time with the people I do love. Like I had a nice day with my sister. I had some time with you and my family. Like when we went, you know, I went to go see a play with Arch.

And I think you put a lot of pressure on trying to broaden your horizons, trying to meet new people and being out there, especially when you live in London you have so much pressure to do do do um and then sometimes I genuinely feel you need to sit back and be like actually I've got a lot of people in my life already who do value me and do love me and I don't need to pressurize it I mean it's always the the age-old thing of you know the people that you can sit in silence with are the true friends. I mean, we can't.

Yeah. Katie, oh, the other day we were at the nail salon. Katie did it again. I did it again. We're literally getting our stuff buffered away, our little tootsies. We're getting our little trotters done. And the woman was like to Katie just,

oh, you know, talking to her and interrupted our conversation. But that's fine, you know, we're not holding on to it. And anyway, anyway, we just then sit in silence and I purposefully wait. I'm like, I'm going to wait to see if she says anything to Katie just in case. Yeah, well, that'll be good.

What will be good? And do you know what? Do you know what? I heard myself do it and I was even, was like, what will be good? But what's actually good about that? It's the mixture of my... Yeah. And your... The sighing.

I've been starting to do it even more recently. Yeah. I know. Just embracing the sigh. Tell me a song. Come on. My song of the week, funnily enough, is Talk Too Much by Rene Rapp. You know the tradition.

Sing it to me, Katie. I think I talk too much I'm like woo I don't think I know this song I love Renee Rapp she's a bit of a big dog in the the Broadway world

oh is it a musical song no she did she did Mean Girls at like 18 wow incredible voice

and then has now moved to LA and did the sitcom The Sex Lives of College Girls oh and then she did now she's releasing her own music and her music is fabulous

but her album came out so I've been listening to that delightful what's her name? Renee Rapp Renee Rapp Renee Rapp right let me tell you mine

let me tell you it's More Than A Woman of the. It's More Than A Woman of the Bee Gees. More than a woman, more than a woman to me. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the guest today.

Elmo. You're cheating. Elmo. Yes, it is actually. Yeah, it is. No, but I genuinely do love that song. And I've been putting it on recently while getting ready. And I'm like, yeah, I'm even more than a woman.

I'm not even just a woman. I'm more than it. More than a woman. Yeah, I absolutely am. We've got a guest. We've got a guest. We've got a very special guest that's going to represent the male community. Yeah. But here we come.

It's Archie. How are you feeling to be here? How are you doing? Excited. Yeah. A little bit nervous. I get to watch you guys chat for free, so. Yeah.

And I'm happy, yeah. Right, so Archie, we wanted to ask you a few things okay what was your first impression of katie and my your first impression of me because we want to say to the debrief that the three of us met at drama school yeah in halls in halls uh 18 arch and i were 18 you were 19. katie had a war score considering story saw that so Katie was doing an MT course that's a musical theatre and Archie and I

were doing an acting course and Katie and I were in the same flat yeah Dusty's yeah and Archie was the hall next to us

literally just flat 110 yeah what were we? 106 you know that kind of flat mate that is part of the flat

that kind of clings on? That was harsh. So what was your first impression when we all met bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 18 and 19 of Katie Leach? Of Katie Leach? I remember I met you at a party on the first night in my flat. You came in, you were quite quiet. You were very quiet. Probably. Yeah, you came in, you were quite quiet. I think at the start, you were very quiet.

Probably. Yeah. Shy, I'm shy. I remember us all being like, because you said you did an MC and we're like, so how are you here? Like, because we just know that you were in, you were in a flat of all the actors.

Everyone of us, yeah, was actors. And she just walked in, right? Yeah, I'm like, hey. Fuck this girl. Yeah. And you had these two like beers or ciders. No, no. And I was looking

and they're like these like fucking like old and aged one. Like they have like photo on like. They were Katie ciders that my manager from my previous job

gave me to take to uni and that was all the alcohol I had. So when someone knocked on to be like, there's a party happening, like come along. I was like, brilliant.

Oh, knock me fucking cider. And it had my name on. So I was actually like, oh, how cute. Just in case you forgot your name. Yeah. So I remember bombing that night though, because I had both of them.

I remember I put you though, because I had both of them and I was sick. I remember I put you to bed and Morgan. Oh, not the first time. No, you put someone else to bed. I took myself to bed. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I remember that. I remember a good, it was a good party.

But your first impressions darling, like what? Is that not a first impression? That she was holding a beer? No, like, what she's like. No, you were nice, but I thought you were really quiet. Yeah. Oh. Like, you were chatting, you did, you were in individual chatting, you didn't really participate in group chat.

Yeah, no, I'd agree. Yeah. I would agree. But it wasn't, I wasn't like, oh, fucking bitch. It was like, yeah. Did you think, did you think. I thought you were shy. I was like, oh, she's really shy.

Did you think she was quiet boring or quiet shy? Oh. Quiet nice. Quiet nice. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh Quiet boring or quiet shy? Quiet nice. Quiet nice! Quiet nice! Katie's shivering in the corner like, I'll compliment you but I won't really spank you. I thought you were going to be like the one we go to, like, oh Katie, she's sweet, you know, but we're not going to be like, yeah. Because you two were friends before we were close. Yeah. You two were quite close.

Yeah. Weren't we? Yeah. I would say we were, we spent time together a lot. I think we were, yeah, we were friends before you two became, like, best mates. Best mates, yeah. It was, like, a good few weeks before that. Yeah.

Yeah. And, Katie, what was your first impression of art? You were the first person to speak to me. I do remember that. And I was, like, and I thought you had great art? You were the first person to speak to me. I do remember that. And I was like, and I thought you had great... Because you were mute. I was shivering in the corner. I spoke for her too.

This is Katie. This is her Katie beard. I'm okay to show it. I distinctly remember you being... I remember I did feel a bit overwhelmed because you're a very good conversationalist I will say and I don't know maybe I was just not used to someone being so like so like but you have to be at uni I guess you know when they're like so tell me all about you and blah blah blah

and I was like oh but I remember Katie took it literally but you were like you were really like inquisitive. And then I was like, oh, I grew up in Cambridge. You were like, Oxford. I didn't grow up in Oxford. And then, well. It's a bar. And then I remember you being like, YMT, like Y Musical Theatre. And I was like, oh, this is a lovely boy.

Yeah, I'm like, I love singing. I don't like that yeah i remember yeah and then i remember you were quite on it with project manager something yeah of course yeah you were like everyone thinks i don't like being project manager i love it yeah no one else is gonna do it but i'm very grateful for the fact you are because i'm definitely not no you're not i know you are sometimes i think i am like secretly but i like you you am like secretly, but I like you to take the brunt. You're like my assistant. Yeah, I like you to take the brunt for the decisions, but I'm also like, thanks for making that decision.

So what was your first impression of Kit? Ooh. Have you told the story on the pod? No. I remember I was walking with my housemate, who I was good mates with. I was doing laundry with her, and it was kind of like mass like inundation of new

people all of a sudden. Yeah. And so we were all a bit like who's coming next, who's coming next. I was walking up the stairs I remember looking up and seeing your mum, you and your dad obviously so McNeil like sat across the banners and like looking at everyone. Why are you guys like that? What my mum? Yeah your mum going like that. Yeah my mum. I think your mum checked me out before you did. Yeah, probably. I remember my dad was trying to sort out the keys to get in. And then I remember just kind of like...

No, no, swear to God, you guys were literally all leaning on the banister. You were just taking it all in, I think. Maybe you were about to do a final goodbye or something like that. But I remember being like, why have they just stood there? But then I was looking and I saw you and I was like, oh, okay. Instant crush. I remember going to Amy and I was like, why they just did that? Yeah. But then I was looking, I saw you, I was like, oh, okay. Instant crush. I remember going to Amy, I was like, fuck me, she's hot. Yeah, good.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, good. Then we went in and literally, I think that's all I spoke about. No, no, no. No, but do you remember? Oh, I was like, hey. Hey. I was like, hey.

And I was like, no. Literally didn't speak to me. I was like, no. Your mum was like. No, no, no. You'd always have my back. Like, literally, you did not say a word to me. I was like, no. Your mum was like... No, no, no. You'd always have that. Like, literally, you did not say a word to me. No, no.

I was thinking, you know, I've got to keep my options open here. I was like... Well, I just arrived, Arch. I was just like, you know. You didn't tell this part of the story ever before. Keep your fucking options open. Who else was there?

Well, I hadn't met anyone else, have I? Oh. Did you have... Did you know that Kit was in the opposite flat then? Were you like, oh my god, were you like, jackpot! She's in the opposite flat! I assumed, but I didn't know because you didn't show you were in that flat. Would you have gone searching if she wasn't?

Yeah, I'm fucking out. Of course I wouldn't. Awwwwwww. That's nice. So if you had to say three words for your first impression of me, what would you say? Big batty gal. Rude. Rude. Distant.

Poser. Sexy. Aww. Elusive. Oh, yes, I was. And fashionable. So my first impression of you, i saw you when you walked past and i was quite overwhelmed for other options yeah you fancied that my housemate

so i i'd seen you walk past and then i was just like yeah yeah fine but i hadn't really clocked it because i was more like i don't know where i'm going with my bags so i was like oh i remember even my mum saying to me like kids you didn't say hello and i was like what she was like that boy just said hello and i was like oh i was like you're making enemies from day one i was like sure i was like one notch on the tally so i was like fuck anyway saw you later at a party and i remember you were kind of owning the space like do you remember oh she was owning the space and i quite like you were a big dog yeah you were big dog yeah yeah so you were pretty big dog because you've been there for a few weeks so people i've been there for months yeah people knew you so everyone was kind of like oh oh george and i was like okay and i quite liked the big dog but

then i saw you were so confident. Yes. And that's something that I can never fault you on. You've always been so confident. Like, you've been quite ballsy with making decisions, but also approaching people and all of that. And I was like, hmm, okay. Then I saw you had a signet ring on. So I thought, I was like, maybe, like, maybe there's a vibe here.

So I went to go, like, totter sitting over next, to sit next to you. So Arch was sat in between two girls. I remember you were on that edge. Yeah. And I was on the edge of the sofa. It was like an L shaped. And I remember you were sat in between these two girls and one of them was flirting. And I thought, nah. And instantly I thought, I want a bit of this.

Like I want to get in. Yeah. I remember thinking, I want a bit of this. Like whatever's going on right now, I want a bit of this like I want to get yeah I remember thinking I want a bit of this like whatever's going on right now I want a bit I was like I was like girls fuck off I was like get out so then I remember one of the girls stood up to get a drink and I was like I was like so how you doing yeah I remember instantly thinking let's just make a conversation. But the conversation was there. We've talked about how we all met. But we're going to talk about our story, like how we found each other. So obviously Arch and I have been together for two and a half years. We were friends beforehand.

I was in a relationship. You were single. But we're just going to kind of talk about our journey for a bit. Not really. Yeah, we are. So I'm going to say... It's like before bed every night. I'm used to this, right?

Yeah. Oh, they shouldn't be like, you are. I'm like, I'm asked on, what do you love about me? And how do you remember when you saw me for the third time ever? So we were friends for a while and I... What's that song? Strangers to friends Friends to lovers

And leave it at that And song ends And song ends But people say you know All the best relationships come from friendships And I do agree that In the sense of I mean I can't judge everyone's relationship So take this with a pinch of salt

However we did have such a good foundation yeah absolutely um and dates friend dates and you know i almost felt that you knew my faults before we got in a relationship and you saw those faults thanks darling and then you kind of fell in love with them though. You didn't see it as a negative. And I kind of felt the same with you. You know, we knew each other on such a great level being friends that the relationship, I mean, the relationship was kind of scary getting into now a sexual part because we had the flirt, we had the friendship, we had the chemistry. What we hadn't explored apart from one night. Yeah, I tried.

had the chemistry what we hadn't explored apart from one night. Yeah I tried. Well Arch did try. Was that sexual element. But what I wanted to ask you. That is scary. Yeah it was really fucking scary. I was fucking scared that I was like what happens if we have sex and it's not right. Because you build it up in your head I'm sure. Of course I do. Let's get down to business. Did you do that? That would have gone really well for you. Yeah that would have gone so well. But what I wanted to say is that second night we got together and after we'd done this I don't know why but I started to panic because I thought oh why am I having feels already and I was like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Anyway, Arch said to me, I think we should be friends with them. No. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First night, first night, we got to, no, the second night we met, we got together.

Yeah. Then the night after that, we got together again and did some bits. Yeah. And then, then I said that. So my question is, at that point, did you have feelings for me? I think I knew that I fancied you and I knew that there was something there,

but I think I was in the mindset of just got to UDM 18. So what was the reason why you said friends and bunnies? Because what we're saying is, like, like boys we feel that boys do know their feelings but then say something different no i was definitely very attracted to you and i could definitely see myself with you yeah i think it was more that i was like you shouldn't i think it was more of a circumstance circumstance new new I also, I was a bit worried because you had not pied me, but like basically pied, but not, in my head, pieds. Okay.

You know, so I was on a bit of a back foot, like, okay, well, I don't want to look too keen. She's already kind of pied me. Oh. So you weren't convinced that I was interested? No. Okay. And I think we had already spoken that you weren't with anyone,

but you were sort of seeing someone else then. I was like I don't know how that's yeah gonna play out yeah interesting so yeah I think I was probably protective of myself a bit there yeah yeah I get that and it I think this is gonna I'm gonna it's gonna come out come out wrong that was probably the best thing for us to have that six months of building that friendship having that foundation and always still fancying you

always still flirting massive flirt that's what I've got to say about our chat sheet first impressions, you were fucking fit you looked phenomenal but so flirty but also social climber social climber 30 i was like bingo x x i remember definitely feeling like there could be something but didn't know what. And yeah. Okay. So you had that time,

not together, but you were friends. Yeah. I would say, and which I say to anyone that asks me about the two of you, that you were grafting for that entire time. Oh, 100%. So did you ever get a bit sick of it?

I love a chase. Oh, that's interesting. You love a chase if you's interesting you love a chase if you know that you're getting a bit back so Kit gave Kit flirted back

like me and Kit were sorry but like I was I was putting the graft in like I was grafting

and then and when you're doing it you don't feel like you're grafting because you fancy them like you're like you're falling so you're like I'm not grafting because you fancy them. You're like, you're falling.

So you're like, I'm not grafting, I'm just wanting to desperately spend time. And you spend loads of time together. Oh my, like we would do, we joked earlier, friend dates. Like I would plan like a trip to fucking Primrose Hill or something like that. We go to Camden Market. Oh my God.

Like I would literally look on TikTok for like date ideas. That's such a head fuck. And then go and then be like and then we would literally sat on a hill and we'd be looking at each other like.

Do boys get nervous to like make the first move? Personally no but I think some might. I think the difference is I wouldn't want Kit to have in the early days

to have planned dates or anything like that. I like to do that but my thing would be is i'd want her to show interest throughout i think what i a lot of boys don't like is playing hard to get okay like the whole won't text him won't do that bit's like well why the fuck am i putting effort in if you're not gonna actually like text me like yeah like but the bit about the boy like he plans a date he'll say let's go here let's do this let's do that and if they're like

yeah great cool and then they're flirting then that's a perfect mix I mean if Kit was like oh I plan this I'm like fuck no that's new that's a bit

oh so would that kind of make you out now I love it we've been together two years and hey I'm one boy so it could be different for everyone

it's interesting that other boys we've spoken to have said the same thing like girls kind of take charge of planning stuff. They get a bit overwhelmed.

Yeah. Me and Kit have been in love for two, nearly three years. So you have that buzz when you're doing anything. So it doesn't feel, like in hindsight I can say this, but at the time I wasn't like, I'm grafting. It's like any moment I can get with Kit is amazing. And because Kit's a pretty popular gal it was sometimes

a bit like it's my turn like piss off that's why I booked it in a different borough of London

oh my god that's so funny oh my god it's my turn I've done proper soup status now it's my turn no oh my god in halls honestly you should have seen it every fucking five seconds on the door

it would be it would be how i'd knock on kit's door and she's not a no i'd go into your kitchen like you literally like you'd circle around for a bit to be like act like you came in just to kind of like see all of us and you'd be like hey guys like you came in just to kind of like see all of us. And you'd be like, hey guys, you have a good day? Like, okay, cool. I'm going to head back to my flat now. Like, if Kit comes, like, let me know. I would have been mortified when you guys outed me for that.

Really? We know you do it. I was like, does she know? Does Kit know that? It's so funny though, because I, because we had such a friendship for so long I wasn't convinced you liked me You weren't! I wasn't convinced, which you probably can't understand I don't

But you and our other friend were always like come on Kit he fancies you, he fancies you But in my head I was like please, please, please But I wasn't convinced. So we're gonna talk about living all together. So we've known each other for, how long now, three years, guys? Three years and a month, isn't it? 2020, yeah, three years.

Met you end of September and met you early October. Yeah, yeah, so three years. And obviously we've got funny relationships going on here. Yeah, yeah. So three years and obviously we've got funny relationships going on here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got lovers, we've got ex-lovers. The panic in your eyes Archie, oh my god. So Archie was top shagger and there was a moment where Katie and Arch had a kiss. We did. I think Katie and I absolutely fucking love talking about it. I think Arch left. Yeah but it also like why are you so ashamed? There's no shame. It's just a complex story.

We have had a kiss before. Yes, yes you have. I wanted to ask Katie actually. What do you think it's like, because it must be pretty hard, like we live as a four and that's a couple and two friends. It's actually quite funny how good friends we are considering that. I think, yeah. And it changed very quickly yeah and i don't think people understand that you guys have such like a brother sister friendship yeah you know it does feel sibling yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it does so i wanted to ask you what is it like living with a couple is it pretty hard see loads of people ask me this

Is it pretty hard? See, loads of people ask me this. I personally don't find it that difficult. Because in the sense that I knew you both before you guys got together. Yeah. And I've been so used to your dynamic. Because even when you were friends, it was like flirty friends. Yeah. I also think it would be weirder.

And we discussed this when we left uni to move into our shared house. I think it would have been weirder for you guys relationship- we like left uni to move into like our shared house i think it would have been weirder for you guys relationship wise if you didn't live together because originally we weren't going to live like we were going to get a place and then just you were going to go somewhere else yeah i honestly don't get how people date not living together like this is going to sound obviously like they do but for me it's like you spend half like most of your time at theirs or at yours like yeah i don't it it just makes so much more sense i think for us we're lucky that we're young enough that we can do the the big flat vibe yeah so we can still have that so i can understand if you move in together

just you two but i'm like i could not i'm not like having to like i'd spend all my time at your guys flat if you did yeah and it did just work yeah but then I would say on that is that yeah we had a year in a different flat so we did have that time yeah true so we moved in after a year basically you know like yeah with people moving in with a couple what would you say to be wary of to be like I consider this or you know obviously you are so close with us, so it's easier. It depends because I'm quite fortunate that you're a very social couple. Like, you know, some people move in with couples

and they just want to spend, they're just together all the time and they never come out and make an effort or, so we're very fortunate in the sense that you guys like, will crack on, you'll get involved. It's not like you just want to be by yourselves together all the time. Yeah, yeah.

So I'm actually not sure, like I don't have any qualms living with you guys which is what i tell everyone they're like oh gosh they're like i feel so single i'm like oh well not particularly yeah but then on the flip side of that how fucking nightmare living with two best friends yeah because we are so close like we are obviously we're lucky that you two are best friends but I'm also friends with you two it's not like we have beef

so that I'm like I could meet them through Faiyaz I'm with Katie all day I think you're very good you are very good at knowing the um boundaries so that is good i think sometimes it can be um like say and we'll be candid here say me and you have a disagreement or an argument and kit's in the middle that's the only time where it's like kit won't yeah won't say anything bad about either of us you know so

it's a bit like in that sense so that's the only real issue and then sometimes like you guys literally just spend the whole day together watching like summer temperature yeah um but other than that it is fine difficulties what difficulties do you find Like if you had to say, this is what I do. Oh my God. Ooh, ooh. You two will defend each other to the last fucking minute. Even if, even if you both know you're in the wrong, you'll both do it. Like I'll,

you'll say something so ludicrous and you're like, yeah, that's true. I'm like, guys, and then I'll explain it to you and you'll, you'll understand it and I can see you go,

yeah, that's true, but you won't admit it. You've got to double down. That's the thing, like I, oh, it infuriates me. Do you know what? Because actually, you won't admit it. You've got to double down. That's the thing, like, oh, it infuriates me. Do you know what?

Because actually, you haven't been the first guy to say that. And I told you about this. So I was talking to this guy about how Katie and I defend each other, like,

to the hills. You could do something that I wouldn't agree with, but I would back you and then later, yeah. But I would, but in front of everyone,

I'd be like, don't you like, go on Katie. It's quite relationshipy yeah, definitely I will always defend you even if I don't think it's right, I will always defend you, because I'm like, I'm not going to be

shitting on you in front of everyone but anyway I said this to this guy and he was like yeah, I fucking hate when girls do that it's a toxic trait and I was like, what? because I personally don't think it's a toxic trait and I was like what because I personally don't think it's a toxic thing because I think you keep me in order and I think I keep you in order in the sense of like you shouldn't have said that to her yeah yeah yeah maybe that was

handled the wrong way yeah but to everyone else I'm like I'm not letting you be the fucking piper on your own I will shit on you you know yeah it's just loyalties isn't it yeah but then I feel like it's a different mindset with guys because even if I had a guy I would still probably out them in that sense of like

what the fuck you on about yeah you would yeah no I back you I back you yeah so it's just that kind of

I think I think because there might be a different sensitivity in that sense yeah a girl wouldn't want to be told by their friend

yeah what the fuck you doing whereas a guy can be like what the fuck you doing so yeah exactly

yeah that's so true that's the only thing that's annoying. Yeah. Okay, so we've got some unanswered questions. So we've put to the debrief, what questions, what things do you want a male perspective on?

Right. And we've got some quite interesting ones. It was me. She's like, what would you like for her first? Thank you. was me she's like what could you like for her first um something that i think girls find really confusing about men is the signs when they are interested slash not interested because for girls reading those signs can be quite difficult i'm sure for boys as well

but from a male perspective what signs do you think indicate to a girl that you are interested? Slash not interested. Is this like on a night out or like dating? Oh, they haven't specified. Okay, so you could give both. On a night out, they're looking at you the whole time. Okay. Like if a guy's giving you eyes off, they're looking at you.

Yeah. Okay. They can do the look and then look away because that's trying to flirt, isn't it? Yeah. Okay. And I feel like you can do that if they're looking at you. Yeah. Yeah. They might not come up, different guys are different. Like you can't say you want confidence because some guy might not have that confidence, but like they'll come up to you at some point. Yeah. So on a night out, that's kind of it. i think if they are just looking at you guaranteed yeah in dating again it's hard to say because everyone's very different but i do that whole if he could he would or something i'm a bit mixed on that because i do agree with it yeah but i think it puts too much pressure on

the early stages oh Oh, interesting. In being like, if you could, he would. Like, come on, you've met him like a week ago maybe. Give that a bit of a rest, you know. I think if he could, he would, in my opinion, is more during the relationship. Right. Oh, interesting. Once you've got that comfortability, safety is the wrong word because it makes it sound like you've settled,

but that safety in the relationship, then that's when you need to think of that if he could he would because they've got you they still need to graft you so that's what comes into it however i think in my in my perspective the way i showed signs was i would be i would communicate a lot text a lot yeah i'd be trying to keep that if they're not texting once a day, I reckon that's... Okay, so if you think the whole not texting back, trying to leave it a bit, do you think boys do that as well? I'm sorry, boys, yeah, they do.

They do. I've only noticed it... I never did that, and then I've only noticed it in new guy groups I've got into where they're, like, online dating, and they're like oh she's measured i won't open it now but why um but what's that then does that say reason girls do it you don't want to look too key you don't want to look are they interested yes yeah they will be

if they're really into you they will text you they will text you at least once a day if they leave it because they're trying to hold their pride look you do you make you hold your pride but if it's not once a day then i don't think they're interested okay um and if they don't try and meet up pretty quickly then i think it will fizzle yeah okay within the first conversation when shall we meet because i think if you spend too much time online it goes a bit dead too quickly because who's going to have great chat in the first place online? Like, you can't get tone or all of that. And then also, you then meet them in real life and it's not the perception you had in your brain

from this whole conversation you've been doing over three, four weeks. Like, get the dating immediately. Why do guys act a certain way to get the girl, like, put all the graft in, and as soon as they have them, fumble? Like, they stop making the effort. So it's like they're doing their best self. Yeah.

Before getting it like, I want you, I want you, like fucking hell, I need you, like I'm obsessed with you. But it's all on him. It's the chase. And you're like, oh. It's the like, I loved the chase. That's what I think boys don't understand, you can still chase when you're in a relationship

like I love how I start to this sounds bad but like flirt with Kit or like work for it with Kit but you do and that's what keeps that energy and people married for 50 years happily married I reckon like yeah we still date or we still

have dinner together we still have those moments where you try and work for it. And this you can disagree but I also think girls also maybe show a different side of them after the chase like I think I think after the chase like they like to be chased and then they'll probably show their like intimate side more that's different to what the boy had during the chase so it's like then they get more like nice

and chatty rather than you know all sassy like no I'm not having you and then they go like that and the boy's like wait what

I didn't know that that's what you and if it's successful then that's what the boy will carry on falling in love with but I think that could potentially be

I think I'm yapping at this point but boys love the chase it's like fucking Love Island what is it Tyreek I want to be I miss the game and it point but boys love the chase it's like fucking Love Island what is it Tyreek

I want to be I miss the game and it's a it's a flipping thrill isn't it like it's a it is so that

getting them and then not putting in as much effort for a girl what would you say to that would you say is that an indication of they're not as interested

as they have been they're more interested in the idea than the actual person yeah I think so I think so imagine one of your sisters as interested as they had been they were more interested in the idea than the actual person yeah i think so i think so like imagine one of your sisters if they asked you arch you know this guy was obsessed with me for months and then they finally start dating and he he's just not there he's not it i i genuinely don't i mean there's loads of different examples but i do think that's

a higher likelihood than it being they just don't like you yeah yeah you know people are maybe didn't actually like me like i don't think it is that like i don't think they actually i think it's more that they just prefer the game like that's i think that's why everyone has so much difficulty online dating is because if you're going online dating it's because you kind of like the flirt like you want to search for the flirt yeah you want that that fucking. Like, I've seen on TikTok that guy who sings, like, messages. Yes, yeah, I've seen that. Like, it's the buzz, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

What's that thing you get off of fitness? Endorphin or something like that. Yeah, yeah. You probably fucking get that from flirting. Like, you get that reciprocation flirt. Well, it's the butterflies, isn't it? Exactly. It is a thing.

What's that more? Fanny Flossers. Fanny Flossers. We said that on the last one, yeah. Yeah. And if you can continue that, then that's what's a successful relationship, I think. And look, you're going to have mismatches. And so you go through your people,

you go through your time, and then when you find, luckily, your right person, that continues throughout. Okay, I'm going to ask you a question, and this is not from the Dewey Briefers at all. This is from me. Oh, it's going rogue. This is rogue.

So sometimes I enjoy an argument. Like, sometimes I might... I don't get this. I don't get this. I don't get this. Sometimes I'll be in the mood for it. Like I'll think, do you know what? I'd love a bit of like passion. I'd love a bit of just a bit, you know, a bit of fire.

And I'd love to see what happens from it. Do you ever think that? Do you ever? No. No. I do not get that. Okay. It is such a thing though okay it is such a thing though i can understand i think why you do it

because you want to see what you want it does great testing how much they can sometimes when i put it out sometimes i'll be winding the box like oh she's rejecting box kind of like and i'll really be winding it. And sometimes Archie pops off and I'm like, here we fucking go. And then what annoys me is that you'll then fight back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just set me up for this. And other times, I'll hit it at him

and he'll just be just absolutely gorgeous. I'm like, I'm really sorry. I'm more sorry about that. Like, don't know where it came from. But it's that moment where you kind of, ugh, you snap, then you roll over and bend. I'm like, no, I fucked up. And then you kind of reflect and you're like, now, there's two options. Do I continue this? Or do I just apologise? So you never feel that, let's just have a bit of a, I mean, I'm also a bit of a wet wife wet wife so like I don't think I'm a great example to do that but I'm not good at conflict being hit you both if there's any conflict I will want it resolved and I don't want it but I can understand your mindset

but your mindset I think you want to see like a masculinity so I'll give you a rawr every now and then I'm the wrong example

for this I am I'm a bit of a wet wipe in that sense we love you I love you love you Katie love you. Love you. Katie? Love you all. Love you.

Ix. Well done. Lovely. So this week again, it's like when we did the deep dive debrief, our Ix are actually about each other. So Archie's going to give ics towards Casey. Is it? He's going to get, yeah, the ping pong.

You get to ping pong. Yeah, he's going to do stuff. And then you get to give an ic about me. Okay. And then, which he won't be able to. No, on a call. Yeah. On a call.

Apparently he's got a few, but he just cannot understand. And then I'm going to give something about you and Casey can give something about you as well. We're gonna ping pong, okay? So Katie's- No hard feelings. We'll see.

You say that now, you say that now. We'll see, we'll see. So Katie's gonna ping pong you. Okay. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna start with probably the more tame one first. Archie calls hot chocolate hot choccy.

more tame one first. Archie calls hot chocolate hot choccy. And it... I just don't get it. Hot choccy. No, actually, it's the way you say it. It's the way you say it in winter. It's hot choccy time.

I'm going to pull you up on this. Not even like a week ago, Katie, we do a Diet Coke war. We love a Diet Coke war. And Katie goes, I can't wait for winter. I'm like, yeah.

And she goes, we can bring hot choccies with us. I was like, oh, now you're using my term. I did say that to be fair, but I do, it still doesn't excuse the fact it's weird that you've got hot choccies.

So Kit, my first one for you is Katie has a tendency to just put loo roll down the toilet and not flush it. And one time... I do!

One time the toilet clogged and it's flooded the flat and I had to put my hand down to take all that loo roll out. And I made a very nice announcement to the flat, knowing full well that it was my lovely girlfriend who had done it, said, please can we not put loo roll down the toilet? Fucking livid. My girl's dead, you are. Fucking livid.

Right, let me get mine now. Let me see. I hate, I hate when you get on me about timing. I hate it. I hate it. I hate when you're like me about timing. I hate it. I hate it. I hate when you're like, so we'll be talking about something. For example, we're going to this thing tonight, my friend's 21st. Yeah.

And he'll be like, okay, so we need to be there for 6.30, which means you'll need to be ready for 5.30, which means you need to be getting ready at 4, which means that we need to go on a walk at 3, which means you need to so basically you're running behind time yeah and i'm like what the fuck i've just woken up like that really stresses me out yeah good it's fair yeah yeah i'm gonna keep on project manager in me yeah yeah so i'm sending it to katie yeah I'm scared so Katie's first one

you're going to deny it but it does happen Katie so if one of us goes into the kitchen Katie will come

out of her room and act surprised like she didn't know we were in there oh hey oh I didn't know you were in

here you've heard us talking you came in and it's not the fact that you want to talk it's not the fact Oh, I didn't know you were in here. You've heard us talking, you came in. And it's not the fact that you want to talk, it's not the fact that you want to communicate, because that's fair, you want to have a chat.

It's the fact that you act surprised that you didn't hear us. You were literally like, oh, I didn't know you were in here. But you did. You heard me do the pans, like, it's out here having water. That's bang on. No, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. You've got really good, like, sounds.

My next one, again, I'll be tame, the fact you can't drive. Oh, she's got a firm green license. Just passed the theory. 43 out of 45. that's like an A star that's really good thank you

I'm so nervous I remember talking to Kit that I was like I'm really in heaven it's like I wonder if I fail again

I fail again right um Kit I've only got two for Kit the second one is

this has come up in the podcast before but not something about Nick so Kit will cross the road at a red light and then get annoyed at a car for beeping her she will physically and then be in a bad mood for five minutes and like literally look at them

and give them evil and I'm like you crossed it on a red light like what do you expect you should know this darling from theory when you're a fucking driver who comes first with pedestrian it does indeed but if it's been red for like 20 seconds already and it's not gonna turn yellow you know what fucks me up more than anything in swell is when they start fucking counting me down. Again it's the timing! It's timing! I'm like don't be on me about timing. So it's like ten, nine, I'm like I'm walking at my own pace like if it's gonna be another five seconds it's gonna be another five seconds. Okay, oh my god I hate this when you shout. Everyone's like wait for it darling. Everyone thinks oh my god like Toxic this, when you shout. Oh my god. And everyone's like, wait for it, darling.

Everyone thinks, oh my god, like, toxic, he's shouting at her. No, no. We'll be in the kitchen, like, Katie's having a fucking Weezos or something. Aren't you just, nyah! And I'll start screaming. You start screaming. I'll just be like, nyah! And I'll be like, start, and usually most of the time I've got a migraine, because I'm prone to migraines.

And they'll just be like... And they'll be like, have you had water? Have you eaten? I had a banana yesterday. But he just out of nowhere like... And I'll just be like, why? And it's so fucking loud. It's like a tick.

It is a tick, yeah. Genuinely. Katie and her bowls. Oh, God. Kit's already mentioned this on the debrief, but that they are usually scattered around her room. The bit that I find the ick is that there's, like, a bit of chocolate milk stuck to the bottom

that I then have to scrub for about five minutes because it's been there for like a week and I'm there like just walking through and you sponge out because it's all broken because of it lovable don't you think? yeah it's very lovable yeah I back you there

yeah it's lovely have you got one? the way you hump Kit like a dog when we're sat when we're sat I knew this was coming I knew this was coming

when we watch Love Island we don't have a living room guys we're always like gathering in one of our rooms and we'll sit and watch it and we usually sit Casey's bed's bigger than our beds

we usually sit yeah we usually sit and watch it in my room and we'll all be like three in the bed and Archie Archie will literally

hump Kit like a rabid dog and make these horrible noises Kit and I have a great time and I'm literally just sat there like it's horrendous I honestly take no

like it's the thing I get so amused by your uncomfortableness and Archie's like like and it's it's horrible it's the thing I get so amused by your uncomfortableness and Archie's like like and it's it's horrible it's horrible

it's so horrible I love it oh right I've got one more for Kit actually I just remembered and this is more a lovable one

I don't have any more so well mine's lovable so I'm reading it how Kit will pretend to be asleep when I walk in so like she'll walk in and we're like I remember I watched it

once I was walking down the stairs of Kit's house and you could see she was sunbathing and I could see her she was on her phone and then I was walking through the kitchen the kitchen's has windows and I could see her see me coming so I put her phone down and I go and then I went over to her and she like then wakes up and goes how long have I been asleep mate?

You weren't asleep I saw you pretending to be asleep But it is quite cute I do it quite a lot like when Archie will make dinner and stuff I always do it because I'm just like I don't know I just want a bit of attention so you know what I'll do it And then when Archie called me out on it I was so embarrassed I was so embarrassed I was literally sat there and Archie was like Kate saw that you were away and I was like ahhh silly question serious question yeah you are answering them okay my serious

question is for you Archie McDonald ace Griffiths yeah what makes you want to commit in brackets be exclusive does it have anything to do with your partner, or is it more to do with you being ready? Both. Interesting. But probably more you being ready. Okay. I think, yeah.

Nothing to be rapid here. Yeah. I think, obviously, if it's the right person, banging, great. You love them, you're going to have a great time. Yeah. Matching or something, but you have to be ready in yourself.

Yeah, so true. You have to have gone through a couple, I true you have to have gone through a couple i think you have to have gone through a couple experiences you have to know what you want what you don't want yeah and you do this sounds so wanking it's always so annoying for the people who who are single who we said to or something like that but you have to know who you are and stuff like that you don't know that you know who you are i don't think yeah i think you just know that when that person comes to you you know that there's no issues and that they fit you very well. Yeah, love that. As we bond a lot over cereal,

if you could be any type of cereal, what would you be? A more screen shape. I wish you wouldn't say that. You wouldn't say that. More screen shape, bit of sugar in as well. Who would Katie be? Yeah. I think I know what I'd be.

I'll try. I actually think you'd be those cinnamon things you just, you got earlier, like the cinnamon sugar with the... The cinnamon... Guys, what would I be? You'd be a... You'd be a granola. No, that's boring.

You'd be Special K. Crunchy nuts. Oh, I'd like to be a crunchy nut. Right guys, I hope you have loved the pod. It's all done. It's been an honour. We've had an open perspective. Archie, say goodbye to the listeners.

Goodbye, listeners. Tell them where to listen to us and follow us. You can listen to them on all streaming services, such as Spotify, Apple Music, or Amazon Music. Yay! And follow them at The Debrief on Instagram and TikTok. And if you want to email them, email them at The Debrief on Instagram and TikTok and if you want to email them

email them at hello at The Debrief podcast.co.uk thanks a lot thanks a lot bye bye see you