The Debrief - The Ex Files | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

Welcome back to The Debrief Podcast! This week we're diving into Ex Encounters. We're looking at the awkward, the romantic and the unexpected encounters you guys have had with an ex! As always email [e-mail] or DM us at the.debriefpodcast with any debriefs or dilemmas you may have. Have an amazing week, Lots of Love, K+K xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Do Brief. Hey you. Hey you. Your co-host Katie McNeil is here. And your co-host Kate Leach is sat firmly opposite. Oh, I'm loving her. Yeah. I love the turtleneck and I'm so sorry I took one of them.

Oh my god, I actually I had to leave it. Oh my god, it's got muck on it. It's got muck. I had to leave it at work because I had too much stuff with me that I couldn't carry at home. Oh damn. And it's been sat there in the cupboard at work like really sad. So funny. We went to like a drinks last week. Yeah. On Friday, in case he was having a normal girl daily panic of what the fuck do I wear? I wear came into Archie who God love him is brutally honest And he doesn't have the soft feminine touch

He doesn't so said you look like you're in pajamas, which of course made Katie feel more shit I was in jeans and a jumper and he said I looked like I was in my jammies. You were like, fantastic. And she's like, how about that brown, lovely light chattel net you have, which is exactly that jumper but in light brown. Yeah. Katie's like, I haven't seen that in a while. But she goes into my cupboard and it's like, hello old friend.

He was like, I'll just check and see where it might be maybe. I don't know where but maybe I'll find it for you. He's like, I'll just check and see where it might be maybe. I don't know where, but I maybe I'll find it for you. He's like, look, look. I don't know how, but it walked around Kitty's wardrobe. I literally, well, do you know what, actually, I've been eyeing up to borrow of yours. Tell me. It's your quilted pink jacket. It looks so cute.

The one from my anthropology one. Yeah, anthropology one is so cute. So nice. so cute. The one from my anthropology one. Yeah. Yeah. Anthropology one is so cute. So cute. I have like a hankering for shopping recently. I don't know if it's because I'm- Go same.

It's my time of the month or, you know- I'll blame that. My mum always says that PB is period buys. Oh yeah. So true mum. It's my favourite state go. It is so bugger true. Right.

Are we ready? I'm so ready. What's your mantra? That's so true mum. It's my favourite scapegoat. It is so bugger true. Right. Are we ready? I'm so ready.

What's your mantra? My mantra for the fort this week is to do with our podcast topic and it is I release the past and embrace the growth that comes from it. Yes. Oh, I love that. Yeah. This week we're talking about the X-Files. Yeah.

Everything to do with X is reappearing. Get them gone. And coming back into your bloody life. Exterminated, get them gone. My mantra this week is, be kinder to yourself. Lovely. Be bloody kinder. Lovely. Shut that noise out.

I always think like, my therapist always says to me, you need to speak to yourself how you speak to your friends. Yeah. Because you're so nice to your friends. Yeah. And like you always see the best in them. So like do the same for yourself. And when I take it out of myself and think I'm looking at myself as a friend, I'm like,

she's naming it. Oh, she's naming it. She's naming it. Literally. It's so funny. I know. So I love that mantra. What's your song for this week? My song this week is, It's sobering just to see her hands all over him.

Oh, I feel like it's very appropriate for the- Alice's Child is it? No, it's actually a woman called Heta Fowlzen. Oh. She is a young lady. Is she? Sound like Castle of. She is a young lady. Is she? Sound like Karst of Love Island. Lovely young lady.

I hate the way he says that. You're a beautiful young lady. Oh, I hate. And I'm like, Curtis. He really cringes me out. Curtis, Curtis, Curtis. But it's a really beautiful song and I love it so much. It's very jazzy, a crunchy, crunchy chords. I love it and it's all about exes, which I'm like, get it.

This is the theme of the week. My song for this week is, again, you'll have to sing it for me. Since you've been gone, Kelly Clarkson. I can't breathe for the first time. Now this was a classic trampoline tune. Bouncing on the trampoline with my sister, put up Kelly Clarkson since you've been gone. Don't you think it's so, and say philosophical hair, but don't you think it's so mad how like music can make you feel all those emotions? No, I think-

Like me at eight years old, no tits, no arse, still got no arse, but no tits, never had a drop appeared in my life. Not even a whisk of a pub. And I'm like, I've had four heartbreaks. I've had four heartbreaks and I'm literally living my life to Kelly Clarkson. Can we also hold some space please for the trampoline? Right. I have such fond memories on the trampoline. The trampoline. I hope that never goes out of fashion.

Getting a trampoline. Yeah, I really hope so. Oh, my friend had a big trampoline. But I'd want to do what Courtney Kardashian does is have one of the like, ascetic trampolines so they're like built into the grass. I like the built into the grass ones. Because the beach kind of things are disgusting like visually. And they get rusty in winter. And then in summer, like there's loads of flies. It's

a bit of a, but like me and my sister used to do... Easy to clean on the floor. Riff offs. Yeah, see? On the trampoline. Like the tramp, everything would happen on the trampoline. Everything would happen on the trampoline. It was such, it's a peak time. And I actually don't know if younger kids are experiencing the full magic of the trampoline.

Me and Lily used to put ice cubes on the trampoline to see if you stepped on them like you were out. We'd jump. And try not to get hit by the ice cubes. That's pretty creative. Yeah, it's so creative. I just end up knee capping myself in the face. We'd go out in the rain and put fairy liquid on it so we'd be sipping. Oh my god. It was so much fun.

God, there's just no creativity nowadays. I know, right? Kids back then hey. Recommendation. It's I think best post-breakup activity. Yeah. Okay. Axe throwing. Yeah. Nothing says I'm over it. Like hurdling a very object or a target. I've never done it. Okay. I've never done axe throwing, but I saw it on TikTok. I want to do this. There's a place is it boom battle bar does I know it's quite boom battle bar. I did an escape room there for my work Christmas do like two years ago. And they had axe throwing there. Wow. I'm pretty sure there's one in Wandsworth.

See, I'd love to do we should do that. That'll be a lot of fun. Next period. Wow. It's one in Wandsworth. See, I'd love to do we should do that. That'll be a lot of fun. Next period. Yeah, let's go. Oh, we're angry with the boys. Let's let loose. Let's let loose. Okay, so are you ready to debrief?

Yeah, let's debrief. Okay, so this week on the debrief podcast, we're diving into the X-file. Would you like to hear a little noise to do with that? Okay, say it again. The X-file. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, buried the past, but somehow your exes keep haunting you. Okay? Like ghosts that won't leave the party.

Honestly. So from running into them on dates to the awkward, I'm not sure if we're still friends situation, we're unpacking the cringiest, weirdest and most uncomfortable moments of life after having an ex. So my first question to you, Katie, Rebecca Merulich is, have you ever accidentally run into an axe? I, well this person wasn't my axe, I would say. This person was like a situation. Situationship.

I did have a few unfortunate run-ins. It's always when I look like shit and I'm red and sweaty that I turn the corner and there he is. And I was like, hey. Red and sweaty. Hey, like that. It's so fucking annoying as. Cause when you look like shit, you're like, see me. Come on, I dare you. I dare you to see me right now. I went to- And then when you're like, red. I literally, I went to a black tie event whilst I was at uni. And a few of us were going and we all got ready. We got given leave, we could finish our lessons at midday, get ready and go. So when we were leaving, everyone was in the corridors and

I was literally like, reveal yourself. Where are you? Look at me. Cause I look so good right now. I look so good. Nowhere to be found. Nowhere to be found. And I remember my friend turned to me, she was like, I'm so pissed off my fucking university hubby isn't around right now. And I was like, oh, girl same. I get you. Girl same. I also you. I get you. Same. Yeah. I also ran into that same person in Portugal, which was also very unfortunate.

But that's such a coincidence. That was a weird, weird, weird coincidence. Like that's awful. And guys, it really didn't go my way. It really didn't. Some say the opposite. Some say some say some some may say it was terrible, caused the worst anxiety to the point where I was on a four hour bus from Faro to Lisbon listening to Linger by the Cranberries on repeat. And Gaby thought she had invented the song. She was like, have you ever heard Linger by the Cranberries? That was the year I discovered it.

I said, yes, darling. She was like, really? I was like, it's so, it's this underground little tune That was the year I discovered it. I said, yes, darling. She was like, really? I was like, is this underground little tune? You've never heard of it. So good. You must have bumped into an ex. I have bumped into a few situations, but I've definitely bumped into my most recent ex. It was weird because we live quite near each other, like we're family homes. And I went home and every time I'm in the town near me, I always think, oh, I'll

see him. Unfortunately, I haven't. Apart from one time, I was going from my mum and dad's home back to London, went to the train station. I was waiting for my train. As I got on the train, he got off that. And it was mad because we both clocked eyes. And it was like, I'd literally got on the train, he got off the train, I put my suitcase, he was feeling like with his bags and all of

that kind of stuff. Looked up, I looked up, looked at each other and it was like, vroom. Tringard was like. That's actually cinematic. It was just like, thank you, universe. Thank you. Oh my god. Imagine if you got stuck on a train. They had my back. They always had my back. I was like, thanks. Stuck on a train with your ex. Are you kidding me? Fair roll. I know. And I thought that would be awful.

Fair roll. So are we ready? Yeah. So we asked the Tierbrief listeners, send in some of their stories about ex appearances. And we've had some truly wild submissions this week, and I can't wait to get into them. So the first one is called the Venmo incident. Now I don't know what Venmo was, but apparently it's like an American thing. It's like PayPal. Yeah, I didn't know what it was.

So a girl wrote in saying, this is wild. After my ex and I broke up, I didn't hear from him for a while. But then out of nowhere, I get a Venmo request for $3.50. Petty. I thought it was a mistake. Yeah. Or a joke. Yeah. The note attached for the iced coffee I bought you in June 2024. Shut up.

I genuinely thought it was a joke. It wasn't. I kind of... Yeah. He sent it again. Stop. I finally replied saying, hope this helps with your healing journey. Then I blocked him wild times. Katie, I don't even know what to say to this.

Like, come on. Three fucking dollars fifty. Three fifty. I don't know what that is equivalent to like pounds. In pounds, that's probably like two pounds forty. Stop it. Like, stop it. That's probably like £2.40. Stop it. Like, stop it. That's really silly.

I'll give you an example. So my friend and her ex, she bought him a laptop and an iPhone. Fuck. When they broke up because he cheated on her, she drove over to the fucking house and was like, I'll have my iPad and I'll have the iPhone. I'll have the laptop, which was a Mac, and I'll have the iPhone back. She was like, look, I got cheated on, but at least I've got three and a half grand, which was quite funny.

Yeah, exactly. £3.50. £3.50. It's not worth knocking doors for, you know what I mean? But also, I feel more sorry for you. Yeah. Why are you stewing over that? Yes.

Why are you stewing? Genuinely. That's silly. That's petty as well. Get a grip. Literally. I'm like 350. You just want me to talk to you? Is that what it is? Do you think that's it? Yeah, I think so. I think when people do that, they want a reaction because they want to open up a conversation. Oh, interesting. All right, therapy. Yeah. day. All right, therapy. Yeah. Yeah. Have you got one? Yes, I do. So I broke up with my ex over a year ago. Not messy, just done.

Okay. Fast forward to last month, I'm on a date in Soho having a nice time and suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and it's my ex holding a tray of drinks, he is the bartender. Didn't even work there before, just picked up a few shifts for extra cash. My date asked me if I know him, my ex just smirks and goes, oh, we go way back. It wasn't even that chaotic, but it was embarrassing on this new date as it really seemed it was me making my way around London shagging anyone in sight. I reassured my date I didn't know he worked there. The fucking odds.

Part of me would think it's the universe trying to bring us back together. A part of me would be like, invisible strength. Yeah. Part of me being like, is the universe trying to tell me something here? Yeah. Because literally doesn't usually work at this restaurant, just went to that location, pick up an extra shift. Where you're going on a date, he's like, hey, I'd be like, okay, I'm reading this.

Okay, like, okay, cool. I'm reading the signal, sir. Goodbye to my date. Hello, ex. Because that's- Now, it's a right to be toxic, but if I was a single lady, you don't owe this guy that you're on a date with any of them is the first date. Later I text Max, I'd be like mad that I saw you. Mad that I saw you with those strings. Mad that I saw you. She wants to get in me panty panty. Do

you want a room for a little one? But also, he tapped her shoulder. He didn't ignore it. He could have. No, no, he couldn't. And it would have been fucking obvious that she's on a date. Yeah, exactly. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like they would have been dressed up. Dinner time so awkward.

It would have been flirty. Yeah. But he went over, tapped her shoulder. He could have been like, that is so uncomfortable. I'm not even going to acknowledge her. Yeah. He went over to you. He went over. That's all I'm saying.

That's all we're saying. That's what I'm saying. So out of these two, what would you rank the worst? Like, what would you rank like, the, oh, like, if you could experience one again? Yeah. Or which one would you not like to experience again out of those two? Because I think I've got mine. I wouldn't mind having, it depends what relationship you have with your ex. Yeah.

So if we're doing my relationship with my ex, I do not want to see him when I'm on a fucking date with Archie. No. Like it would be chaos. Yeah. I would not want to see him tap my fucking shoulder. Yeah, no. Like my whole fucking arse would fall out my pants.

Yeah, all that feeling. Arse would fall out my pants. Wow. How does that happen? I'd be like, get away from pants. Yeah, all that feeling. How does that happen? I'd be like, get away from me. Yeah. So I'm gonna have to do the Venmo. That's gonna have to be. Yeah, I couldn't even. The problem is, guys, I feel like we know by now, I'm a blusher. Yeah, yeah. Even through the heaviest of makeup, I will blush. Someone actually called me out on it the other

day. They went, Oh my god, you're blushing so much. I thought, God, this hasn't happened in so long. Like, shut your mouth. I love it when he says it doesn't change. He's like, Oh, you're blushing. And I'm like, Eileen, you know I am. You know I am. I'm shy. But I was literally one of the kids said something that embarrassed me. We were playing a game of like imitating someone, like trying to copy someone, trying to copy their gestures. Yeah.

And then all of the kids started imitating me. Doing what? Literally just following me around, like copying what I was doing, standing the way I was standing. And I got so flustered, I started blushing and the teacher I was with was like, what can I like, you're so red right now. And I was like, shut up. Shut up. I'm shy. I also love that. I love that kids were doing and you were like, I was like, stop. Enough now.

Honestly, so yeah. So Lisbeth's wrote in experiences that have happened with exes in the past. Examples of when they've reached out or bumped into them. I'm going to read them out, there are five. Then I'd like for you to rank them from what is the worst thing you would want to happen if your ex appeared to you or approached you or messaged you to, no, I wouldn't mind that. Okay, first one, the friendly hangout. Okay? You and your ex are both totally fine now. So he or they or whoever they are, decide to grab a casual drink with you and have a cat chat. Okay, number one. Number two, I'm just checking

in FaceTime out of nowhere. Out of the blue. The fuck? Your ex wants to know how you're doing. So you just get a FaceTime call. Is this a sign of maturity or is this way too much? Okay. Also, I'm like, who fucking does that? Who FaceTimes out of the blue? If someone FaceTimes me without messaging me why, I'm like, get out of my life. I literally-

Like, get out. No, if it was your arch or housemate, I'd be like fine. FaceTime is rogue though. I rarely FaceTime people. Yeah, me too. But if I was like, if it's like, even one of my like really close friends, I'd be like, what you do? Like I'm like, give me a call. Sure. But like if you're FaceTiming me out of the blue, I'm assuming someone's dead. And yeah, I'm assuming something terrible is happening. Also I'm like, are you beefing me that I ran over your cat? I never ran over your cat, but I'm scared that you think I did. Yeah, like why are we having a FaceTime right now? It seems so like deep.

Confrontational. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay, the third. Yeah. The accidental run in. You're on a date, everything's going smoothly. Tweet XWaltem. Do you awkwardly wave? Yeah. Do you awkwardly wave? Yeah.

Or do you just say go? Number four, the unwelcome tag in a TikTok or an Instagram. Suddenly see your ex tagging you in a meme or in a photo of you two together from the past. It's a flashback moment, but now you've got to deal with it publicly. What do you do? That would cause me to spiral. Number five, the phantom text.

Out of nowhere you get a, hey, how are you doing? No exclamation, no reason. What's the deal? Are they back for closure or do they want something else? Interesting. What you're saying. Do you want me to quickly say them again? So is it- Friendly hangout. Hangout, FaceTime. I'm just checking in FaceTime. Awkward run in, unwelcome tag, phantom text.

Okay. And we're going from best to worst. Worst to best. Yeah. Best to worst. Best to worst. So I'd probably say the phantom text is maybe the best scenario. Yeah.

I don't mind that. And also I'd be like, guys, he wants me. He's got like- Phantom text, best scenario. Yeah. I don't mind that. And also I'd be like, guys, he wants me. He's got me. Phantom text, best scenario. Yeah. Then I would probably go, what was it? Text, hangout, FaceTime. Tag.

Tag. Run in. Or I'd then go run in. Would you? I wouldn't, like, cause you can just, it would be awkward, but like you don't want you to see them again. Fine. Fine.

Why are you tagging me in something? That's, that's, when a girl wrote in that they have no welcome tag, I'm like, that's not. That's weird. That would upset me. I'd be like, because then I'd get sentimental being like, you thought of me? Yeah. You want, you want to tag me?

You blush, you blush, you blush. I blush. You blush. Thankful he wouldn me? You'd blush. I'd blush. Thankful he wouldn't be able to see me. I'd blush. That would be, then I would probably say the FaceTime. Really? I wouldn't want the FaceTime at, like literally why are you calling me? Why are you calling me? Because that would make me upset. Yeah, I would cry. Yeah. Worst, friendly hangout because is it friendly? Or would I just be overthinking your every fucking move? Because I don't think you can be friends with an ex. Let's say for your most recent ex, you know who we're talking about? Yeah. If he messaged you being

like, let's go for coffee. Yeah. Would that be your work? I see you look at the smile, it wouldn't. I just saw your fucking face. You're a liar. You are a liar. But I would assume. But I would assume that it's because this chapter is not closed. I would not assume it was a friendly meetup. Okay, fair.

Because I would be like, you're messaging me for coffee. Fair. We have a bit of a history. Yeah. You're asking me on a date, which is maybe why I'm still single guys. Maybe it's the Pisces in me. Maybe it's the hopeless romantic. But hey, I'm like, if someone messaged me, if an old ex messaged me being like, do you want to hang out? I'd literally be like, no, I do not want I'm very cut and dry. Because I because I get attached. Yeah, I'm very sensitive.

Like, and if we'd moved on, I find it very hard to stay friends with an ex. Yeah, extremely. So it wouldn't be friendly for me. I would literally be thinking you were going to ask me to get back together. Oh, okay. And that would be damaging because they probably just wanted a friendly coffee. Yeah. And I would have been like, so we should have asked the girls this like I wonder what everyone would say. I know. So I would have been like, so... We should have asked the girls this. Like, I wonder what everyone would say. I know. Do you know what I mean? Because everyone's relationships with the ex are so different.

They really are. I love her. Right, tell me of the dilemma, Pete. So, the dilemma is, hey, Katie and Kitty, love the topic this week. I didn't think I'd write it as I'm a happy listener, but now I really need to debrief as I'm getting a lot of opinions from friends and family, but I need an outside opinion. Fair enough. Okay, so here's the situation. My ex showed up at my workplace today. Sexy. My ex showed up at my

workplace today out of nowhere. Even sexier. We didn't even plan for this. But there he was smiling like nothing had happened. For context, I broke up with him about three months ago. My heart just wasn't in it. He wasn't a bad person. He just wasn't the right person. When we were together, he used to meet me at work once a week and have coffee. His work's about a 15 minute walk from my place. It was always quite nice. When he showed up, we exchanged a few words and honestly I could feel the tension in the air. Oh my god, I feel sick. He tried to be friendly but it felt forced and then he then asked if we could get a coffee sometime. Just as friends, it doesn't exist. The limit does not exist. Now I'm stuck. Should I agree to the coffee date and do I owe that to him or is this just a way for him to mess with my head?

I don't want to lead him on but I also don't want to be rude either. What do I do? My gut is saying don't go but I'd love your opinion. Thanks girls. Love you both. Oh, love you too, girls. Love you too, my little starfish. I think... I've got an opinion. You go first. I don't think this is an innocent coffee.

Okay. And I don't think you should go because I think you would be leading him on because I don't think it's an innocent coffee. I completely agree. I think always trust the gut. Always trust your gut. If your gut is saying, don't go, don't go, it's not rude. And look, like you've been in a relationship and of course, like you guys are going to understand each other on a different level than other

people will. But you don't need to be rude about it. Just be like, look, it was lovely seeing you today, but my heart is still where it was. And you mean a lot to me, but oh, maybe don't say that, Shanna. Or I respect you too much. Yeah, I just... I don't want to mislead you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had that.

Because I think he does still care about you, as you care about him, but I think maybe he's thinking that he could get you back. And I think agreeing to the coffee, him showing up... Showing up is honestly that melts my heart. Yeah. Agreeing to the coffee, him showing up. Showing up is honestly that melts my heart. Yeah. Like. And also I think too, the most respectful thing you could do for him is allow him to move on.

Yeah. And I think if you meet him for coffee, you'll show, because clearly you're an amazing person, you're showing him what he's best at. Yeah, exactly. And you're kind of, yeah, dangling the car a little bit. Yeah, I agree. So I would say leave it, but like bold. Bold.

Bold of him. And cute. Really cute. I remember when my ex showed up on my workplace. Best day ever. Made my shift go by so quickly. Did you go red though? I literally, I didn't, my friend used to work on the, I used to work at Boots guys. Made my shift go by so quickly. Did you get read that?

My friend used to work on that. I used to work at Boots, guys. I was upstairs on floor one in the healthcare department and my friend used to work on fragrance and we were really close and I was seeing someone at Boots at that time and he got wind of this and showed up to Boots and went to the fragrance stand being like, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna like what let's see this fucking guy blah blah blah. You know, it's not great. That's sexy though. But it was kind of it was kind of sexy and then she had to talk him off the ledge and he left and

she came straight up to me being like, guess who I just fucking turned away. And I was like, shut up. Do you remember when my ex-shooter put Mountview? Oh my god, terrible, terrible. Such a drama. That was such a drama. That was such a drama. Literally like, power purse. I'm convinced Kit has like this magical purse. Thank you. Like that just breathes glitter.

Thank you. Yeah. It's just magical from start to finish. Like you have men on their knees. It's powerful. That was weird though. That was so weird. Like really weird. Like I do. That was weird though. That was so weird. Like really weird. I do, I was quite sad. I never ran into that ex. Because he moved to, like my family moved to Yorkshire and he moved to Yorkshire, like to go to uni. So then I literally like, we were in the same city. Sorry, your ex? Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I thought you meant mine. I was like, how did you know that? But literally, and I never saw him once.

Every time I go to York, I'm like, are you going to be there? Because I wouldn't mind bumping into him now. Being like, how are you doing, Jam? Completely. Actually, it's funny. So my ex has a brother who was in my year at school and we've got our reunion five years on the 30th. And I heard from a buddy, my ex said to like his friends, and I'm not friends,

but friends of a friend's friends with one of his friends. And they were like, Oh, maybe I should just drop him off and see what she's up to. And I was like, why? Why? Why? Oh, you're boring. Why? You're boring.

I was like, why? You and Arch are celebrating four years? Three. Four years in April. Four years and he's still rat-a-tat-tatting on your window. That is mad. Crazy. That is mad. That is mad. That is crazy.

Thank you, gorgeous girl. Thank you. Perfect. I've got one. I've got one. I'll ping-pong you this week. Ready? Mine is when people can't handle like an awkward, like when men specifically get really iffy

about like an awkward silence, you know, when people they kind of like there's a lull of silence and they go, okay. Oh, that's weird. You know, when you're like, why are you being weird? Yeah. Like, just chill. And sometimes it's a test. I'll tell you this boys now.

Sometimes it's a test. If we're fucking silent, well, because you haven't asked us one bloody question. Yeah. So we're like, you know what? I'm exhausted of leading this. I'm exhausted. If you want it, come get me. Yeah. Ask me a question. If you're just... Get out. Yeah. What?

Get out. Why are you doing that? You're weird. Yeah. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. When an ex can't, it like, oh, this is hard to focus. When an ex can't take any responsibility and it's more of a me issue that they broke up. So for example, I break up with you and they go, you just need your time. Yeah. She just needs a bit of time. She'll get over it. No.

No. I'm not needing to get over anything. We're done. We're done. Bless her. She'll get over it. Then we'll be back together. Yeah. She just needs time. No. So irritating. So irritating. Like no, take no for an answer. This happened to me and this happened to my mother. Yes. Now, I know my mother will be listening to this. You know the ex I'm talking about. Because we need to bring my mother on the podcast again. She has the best psycho ex. Oh my god, she does. Followed her, turned up at a random party of her friend. So her friend was hosting a party. He didn't even know the friend, but managed to meet the friend like you, Capone,

get friends with the friends, showed up at this random house party, started dating her roommate. They were in a completely different city. So crazy. Mad. He's mad. Crazy, knows no bounds. Questions? Question. I'm deadly bloody serious.

And I'm silly. Thank you. So when it comes to exes, is there such a thing as closure? Or is that just something we tell ourselves to avoid the emotional work? I would say yes to an extent. I would say breakups, it's like a grievance. It is like grief and I would say that you never like, grief doesn't stop. Like grief isn't this like stopping thing. So I would say in that sense, no. But I would say like, you learn to kind of get on and kind of reminisce those parts of

your life. But like closure, I don't know about you, but like, so much and I feel like I'm very emotionally tied that I would find it very hard to shut that door or move fully past it, which is maybe not the right thing. I find it hard to just accept that's the end. It takes me a while. Yeah, interesting. But have you accepted that now for like people in your past? Yeah, yeah, I would say.

Not all. Fully altitude. Not all. Not all. What about you? Not all. Not all. What about you? Yeah, I definitely think there's closure.

With all my acts, that book is completely clear. I also think you know you've got closure when you don't have anger. There's not such a strong emotion there. If I saw one of my acts on the street, I wouldn't be angry, I wouldn't be sad, I wouldn't be happy. I would just be like, I wouldn't be sad, I wouldn't be happy. I would just be like, you know, even when people, if people, we have mutuals and they talk about them, I have no kind of feeling that. I'm just like, oh, that was like something in my past, it was

a sweet time. I have no real feeling towards that, you know? And I think when people are still very guttural like tears or anger or like, okay, you haven't dealt with something yet. Yeah, yeah. You know, and luckily I didn't have any like relationship trauma of cheating or anything like that. So I've never experienced the repercussions of having no trust or I've never had that. So I've been able to happily go into a different relationship and move on. Yeah, absolutely.

I love that. Thank you. And my filly question is, would you rather have to meet up with an ex of your choice, but they have to change every month, once a month for a coffee, coffee has to last at least an hour, or every single thing you post on social media only gets sent to them, no one else can see it. Okay, can I clarify with the X's? A different X every month? Yeah, but it will rotate, so you will have to see some, but it will be once every few

months with each one. I'll do that. Yeah. Because I'm also like social media, most of the people on my social media are my friends or my family, people who care. So if I post on something that I want to like be excited, you know, yeah, yeah, like this is exciting. Also, when I get married to Arch, like, why am I sending it to my exes? Yeah, weird vibes. And also if I'm like, I wouldn't be able to see it. Yeah. Yeah. And also, it's more sending it to them than like, not my friends seeing

it. It's not like I'm like, look, everyone needs to see my stuff. I'm like, if I'm on holiday and post a bikini photo, why am I sending it to them? Yeah, that's weird. Like that's so weird. I want all my friends to see what I'm doing. So I'd be up for coffee and be like, hey, how are you doing? And also I'd be so curious. Yeah, yeah. And if it was like a rotational thing, then I'd be like, well, we're clearly not into each other.

Yeah. So how's the fun? How's it all going? Yeah. Yeah. Completely. What's the vibe? Fist bump? Yeah. Put it there, pal. Yeah. How about you? Yeah, I do. I do the, yeah. Love a bit of gossip. Yeah. Bring it on, babe. I'll probably be seeing what? The same like three. It'll be short. I'll be like, hey guys. See you next month. Hey, see ya. Exactly. Alright guys, have a fabulous week.

Have a great week. Love you all. Love you. Bye. I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul