The Debrief - The Self Care Blueprint | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

Welcome back to The Debrief! It's almost the New Year and this week we are reflecting on all things self care! Especially on how to prioritise ourselves going into 2025 x As always please keep emailing in any debriefs or dilemmas to [e-mail] or DM us @the.debriefpodcastHave a safe and happy new years, Lots of love, K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the D-Bro. With your co-host Katie McNeil and your co-host Katie Leitch. Thanks very much. Thanks for having us here. Imagine it's a talk show. I would fucking love. Hi guys. You get nervous though, you get nervous. I would get so shy. Guys, I've been so shy recently. Love you. Well, I think it's because I've. Someone was like, what are you planning on doing for your birthday at work? And I said, Oh my god, I'm so glad you asked. I'm like really excited because I think I'm going to do like a table read of a musical with my friends. What did they say? And they were like, bearing in mind none of these musical theater people inclined.

So then they were like, Oh, well, okay, that sounds fun. And I was like, I fucked up. I fucked up. You're like, I'm the worst one. They're gonna think that sounds fun. And I was like, I fucked her. I fucked her. You're like, I'm the wiff one now. They're going to think the wiff one. She's shy and then when you get her going, she just... She'll start singing. Starts fucking yapping on. Yeah, she'll start yapping.

Honestly. Did I tell you I had a dream last night about you on a date? Dream is all it was. Tell you. So I had a dream, yeah. I had a dream and it was really vivid that you were like, okay, he's coming to pick me up. He's coming to pick me up. And you were like, I'm so nervous. Because I had a dream. And it was really vivid that you were like, okay, he's coming to pick me up. He's coming to pick me up. I'm so nervous. I was like, oh, absolutely fine. You looked

gorgeous by the way. But you were wearing the dress I was wearing to our Christmas soiree for my mom and dad's party. So I was like, bitch, that's my fucking dress. And I kind of want that dress. So this is making a lot of- New dress, new dress. I got a new dress. So it's not the one I showed you before. It's a different one. Have you ordered the one you showed? Cause I'll buy off here. No, I haven't.

So if you want to buy it, go for it. I didn't get that one, but I got a different one that I'll show you off to the pod. Yes, please. It's really cute. It's got a little puff sleeve. It's black, but then it goes tight and puffed out and then at the back, it's open back and then a bow and I was like, so cute. Cause I don't know what to wear.

And yeah. So you were like, you're wearing my dress. You looked amazing. And then like sheer tights and black boots. And you're like, I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I was like, Oh my God, you'll be brilliant. Anyway, he picked you up. Like was outside. He wasn't in his car. He was like outside or flat here. Ding dong. And you were like, so then you were like, okay, I said, do you want me to walk you to the door? You're like, no, no, I'll get nervous. So then you went to like the big door and then you were like, okay, I said, do you want me to walk you to the door? You're like, no, no, no, I'll get nervous. So then you went to like the big door and then you were like, bye. I was like, bye. And then I was like, oh my God, then me and Archie were sat here. And then you came back like five minutes later and you were like, would you mind coming as well?

This is something I would do. And I was like, definitely not. And you were like, but he's got a friend. And then we could, and I said, but Katie, may you forget, I've already've already got one. Got one. I'm not sure why. Like, am I actually okay? And then you're like, no, but like, it could just be pretend. And I was like, no, no, you got anyway, you then come back like an hour later. And you're like, now I'm confused. And I was like, why? And you were like, because I went on the date with this guy, but then the friends also kind of nice and I don't know which one to pick. Spoil for choice, a position I've never been in. I was like, Katie, now that's selfishness.

I know. No, that's taking it a step too far. But I will tell you, I'm trying to be mindful this week of being quiet. Because our editor was like, apparently I'd boom, my voice is booming. You have quite a resonant voice. Do you think? I think, I think, and I think you're, I feel like you're louder than me, but you just have a general, like more, you're a more resonant voice.

Really, do you think? I think you are and you have more of a natural projection than I do, I would say. That's a very common idea. And the mic, can't handle it. Really, the mic's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, every Monday he's like, fuck. It's like shaking, like not again. Because we usually keep our mics together, so I wonder if that like last week, that was my mic. So this one's like, thank God. Yeah. That one's like, I've got cases. They're like, yeah, please, please, please. Yeah. Right. Should we get into it?

Let's get up to it. Tell me what your mantra is for this week. My mantra is I am attracting wonderful opportunities into my life. Love that. Why do you need that for this week? New year vibes. Yeah, I completely agree. I am, I feel like I love the new year. I really love like a fresh start.

Me too. And almost sometimes it's actually a little bit bad. Sometimes I love to go like off the rails completely with my routine and habits just so when the new year hits I can feel the difference. I completely agree. And also with the Christmas period. So I was talking to my therapist and she was like, you need to get way better at relaxing and de-stressing. And it's fascinating, like over when I was on holiday with Arch, like for a few days, we literally were there for three days, that was it. I was completely relaxed and I felt like, and even to the point where the day before I came back a bit, a few hours before I was coming home, I was a bit nervous. I was like, oh, I'm getting

pinned to it again. Do you know what I mean? But I completely agree over the Christmas period, you need to just chill. Because then it also feels that in the new year, you're being way more proactive. You're like, look at me. Yeah. Okay. Oh my God, massively. Completely. So my mantra is 2025 is my year to say yes to myself. Love that. I'm really excited for 2025. I think it sounds quite nice. 2025. 2025 is a quarter. It's so exciting. I'm already starting with a fucking bang in January. I thank you. Which is so

exciting. Singing me little heart out for little women. I was like, but her, I went out for dinner with your sister and I was sat there and I was like, but her, I went out for dinner with your sister and I was sat there and I was like, I'm really excited. So I'm there opening night and then I'm like, I'm just gonna and then I got paid on Friday and I was like, gonna plan to get two more tickets. Fucking sold out. Sold out, sold out. I'm gonna go on the wait list though. I'm gonna have to go down the back alley.

Yeah, you can go on the wait list and if you're on the wait list, say family of Kitty, because then you come fast. Good to know. I'll do that because I was like I want one for like midweek and closing night. Yeah. I can't just see it fucking once. That's stupid. I need to see it at least three times. Do my little thing. Under the bridge of the... I can't wait.

Yeah, I'm really excited and my song for this week is actually one that was recommended by Archie and when he first of all said that I said absolutely not. Yeah. And then I listened to it, I thought actually, do you know why? It's a good one. Yeah. Do you know the song Oysters in My Pocket by Royal Otis? No!

It's really good. Oh my god, I love that. It's a really good song actually. Now I can't sing it specifically because I can't really remember how it goes. But it is like Oysters in My Pocket, my pocket. And it's got a good beat. Got a bit of a, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From your chest. Yeah, you know it. What is your song for this week? My song this week is Nissan Altima by Dochi.

Oh, what's this? Now Dochi is someone I keep seeing on TikTok. And then she did, you know, the tiny desk concerts on YouTube. There's like a series where like artists go on and they do it from like in this really tiny studio. And she's become like she's kind of blown up on TikTok recently. I was listening to her music and she's like a rap R&B artist. She is so great.

And she did this performance on SNL. Oh, wow. Is she British or is she American? American. It was like a late night show. She had a performance on it was absolutely fucking incredible. And I was like, Oh my God. So I've been listening to a whole album, which is called Alligator Bites Never Heal. Fun name. I love that name. Love the name. Is it on Spotify?

On Spotify, on Apple Music. Alligator Bites Never Heal. I'm gonna have to listen to this. And what's her name? Doachie. Doachie. Yeah, it's like Mochi. Like Mochi, but not. I love, it's like a proper like gym playlist. Like if I'm in the gym and this comes on, I'm like, oh yeah. You're like Banger. Banger. Okay, okay. I'll definitely listen to it then. And recommendation wise, I've got one. Oh, give it to me. Okay, fantastic. Ready?

Okay, so my recommendation for this week, guys. Now I know I've already spoken about it, but I really have to hand this up. Okay? A restaurant in Amsterdam. And I think we really need to tag them because it was sensational. Okay. Yeah. It's called Kalisto. It's a restaurant in Amsterdam and the atmosphere was sensational. Yeah. It was, you know, when you go into a restaurant and you think like the menu looks good and all that kind of stuff, you walk in and you immediately walk out because you think there's not a vibe. Yeah. I walked into this place and was like, I want to live there. Like it was just so candlelit, low lighting, you know, there's little like lamps on the tables. It was in Amsterdam, it's all like open, like

even the houses and flats, you could look into someone's bedroom. Like it's so, the windows are huge. It's beautiful. Fun fact actually, the reason why the windows are so big is because the staircases are so narrow and they can't get furniture through the house up the staircase. So they get them through your window. No way. But little like hook thing at the top of the house and they rope up the furniture. Oh my God. I know.

I know. But this restaurant was sensational. So Arch and I both have two starter each. Then we had a main. We had a bottle of wine, we had a cocktail. I'm trying to think if we didn't have a dessert. And 92 euros in total. In total. That is so good. It's a really good peach. And it was like a, it was a bougie meal, you know, like, but the food was so good. We had pasta like as a main and it was really good. Kated for gluten

free was so good. It was amazing. Oh my God, it was so good. We had pasta like as a main and it was really good. Kated for gluten free was so good. I've been saying to peach out the four of us, like our flatmates, really need to go to Amesan for Kings Day. I want to go on a trip. I want to go on trips next year. Yeah, for sure. And even Arch and I were working out how much it was and it was 300 in total for our accommodation and Eurostar. Which I'm like, that's pretty good for me. That's not too bad. So yeah, big heads up for Calista. Love that. Are we ready?

Yes. Let's debrief. So we're cracking on. It is almost New Year's Eve, day before. And we are going to be talking about how to make self-care a priority in 2025. So it relates very much back to your mantra. So it is almost New Year's and we spoke many times about building sustainable habits, or at least trying to. And I think now is the perfect time to dissect something that universally I think we should all be trying to do in 2025, and that is making self-care a priority.

I love that. Absolutely. And I feel like self-care kind of goes beyond like pampering. I think there's such a blanket statement where you think self-care you think like, oh, you're getting a massage. Yeah. Yeah. As far as like self-care can be like quite uncomfortable doing stuff, putting yourself first and doing stuff for yourself. It can not always feel the best, but in the long term, it will help. It helps a lot. So my question to you is, when was the last time you think you truly put yourself first? I think I was just thinking when you say like feeling uncomfortable. I've recently started trying to do meditation like more frequently. I tried to do five minutes in the morning

and five minutes in the evening. I found it's helped my sleep, but it does make me feel slightly uncomfortable because it's something I haven't practiced before. And I know it's going to be good for me in the long run because it like takes away my worries that it's good to just kind of like out of body, you know, just not focus on what's happening in the day. But I do find it quite hard because I'm a natural wake up, right, I've got many things to do today. Let's getack on. So I find it quite hard to wake up and then, oh, but we can do five minutes for relaxing. And I feel it has put myself first because sometimes I'm like, I don't have time. It's like, it's five minutes. Just do it. Yeah. I think I've started to do that and I found that quite unnatural, but I'm trying to push myself this

year with making it a habit. Maybe not even every day because every day is quite intense, but trying to do it frequently, I think is quite good. And even, I'll give you another one, putting myself first wise. So someone invited me, like a friend invited me out for like a coffee the other day. And I was like, oh, that'd be lovely. Like I said, yeah, yeah, I'd love to. Then I looked at my schedule like, how the hell are you going to do this? Like you need to be here, here, here. You also need to rehearse because you've got rehearsal tonight. You want to go over your stuff. And I was just like, old me would be like, Oh, I'll do the rehearsals at another time. Like I'll do, I'll rehearse over the stuff I need to do another time. But I was like, no. So

I called her up. I was like, no, sorry. I texted her and I was just like, I love you so much, but I'm sorry, I can't meet you for the coffee. So I guess in that sense, that was kind of putting me first. Not self care in the generic way of being like, I'm going to get a massage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Care in the sense of like, love you, but I don't have time for that. Yeah, absolutely.

How about you? When do you feel like you put yourself first? Yeah. Self care in the sense of like, love you, but I don't have time for that. Yeah. Absolutely. When do you feel like you put yourself first? I feel like often, more recently, I feel like I'm getting better at saying no to things. Like if I don't want to do something, especially when it comes to stuff like- Like that party, you know where? Yeah. That was good. Where it's like, to be honest, I was like, if I went, I would have been miserable.

I would have not been like, I was feeling so unwell. But like, one of those things where I'm like, if I had to put my big girl pants on, like, and get forced out the door, I could have gone. Yeah. I was just like, I don't like, I'm not going to be fun to be around. I feel really unwell. And I don't want to go. 100 percent. So I was like, no, I won't go. And it's, and I often find it hard sometimes when I feel like if I say no to things, then people are gonna judge me for that but then also I'm like do you know what like the people that truly care won't. 100% like and I think that's one of the things that I believe in the most like if they're

your friends they're not good this is because that's what I said to Arch I was like is it bad I'm cancelling on her Archie was like no no and if she's your friend she won't care yeah yeah that's true. So as we've said before on the pods, self-care isn't always pampering and it can often feel uncomfortable. Like I said, with the meditation, the yoga, kind of that mindset is quite a bit of an altar in my mindset. And here are some tips that we found interesting when diving into this topic. So self-care can be setting boundaries for yourself. So kind of what you did with, no, I'm not going to the party, and kind of what I did with, no, I'm not going to that. It's learning to say no. And I think

that's something that's really hard. And I think we both have a friend who cannot say no. And we say to them a lot, you can say no and well, they do get defensive. But I think sometimes it's a pressure thing, but also like an insecure thing that you're like, well, then if I'm missing out, are they not going to invite me again? But I think if you feel that a commitment is going to drain you, whether that's mentally, physically, and you think actually is that going to better me? Say no. And do you know what? That can be work, family, or friends. That really can be. And that is okay. We've actually got a dilemma later on, which is something to do with family. Because sometimes you need to set your boundaries with

them as well. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like as well as like setting boundaries, setting like emotional boundaries as well. So like protecting your own mental health is so important, even with stuff like within yourself, if you're like, Oh, I need to do this personally, this doesn't have anything to do with anything else. But like you've set yourself tasks that you're feel like you're overstretching on and you're burning out on. Say no to yourself. Actually, reprioritise with yourself and think, it's okay. But I know past 7pm, I need to not do anything and I need to stop. Otherwise, you'll just burn out.

Yeah, I think so. And the other thing is having emotional boundaries. So this is like protecting the mental space by recognizing when you're overextending or over-exerting yourself. So yes, you can, it's hard to give an example when you don't want to be... Emotional boundaries is sometimes that a friend is really upset and says, can you come see me? Can you come see me? And you're thinking, do you know what? I'm actually having a tough time myself. Doing that is okay. Saying, I love you. I hope you're okay, but I actually can't. I'm going through a really... I've got a really stressful day. That isn't being a bad friend. And I think sometimes

we all get that sometimes saying like, fuck, I've got to go see this person because they're doing some blah blah blah. But to be honest, I don't feel good. Yes. And I think setting emotional boundaries in 2025 is going to be really good for yourself and protecting yourself. I had a conversation recently with a friend where they said, I give so much to someone. They're like, I'm giving all the time and I never get anything back. And they're like, and I feel it is physical, but it's also emotional. Physical in the sense of they send them cards, they send them gifts, all that kind of stuff. And there's like, but also emotional that I send them lots of texts. I'm like, it's her birthday. I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah. You know, and when it was their birthday, the other way around, they didn't get a card, they didn't get a message. Well, they did get a message, but it was very like, well, here it is, which is very vague. And I just said to them, stop it. Stop sending the gifts. Stop sending the cards. And I said, and that's not being petty, it's being protective. Yes. It's protecting yourself from the next time we do it and they don't do it to you. chefs, stop sending the cards. And I said, and that's not being petty, it's being protective. It's protecting yourself from the next time we do it and they don't do it to you. Okay. One of the biggest things I feel that we really need to do, especially me, is prioritizing rest. Oh, I love it.

You've got to rest. Chill. Sleep. Yeah. The more you get older, the more you understand what your parents look like to get an early night. I love sleep so much. And it's one of those things that I have not been sleeping while the past week. Oh really?

And then I got a full night's sleep Saturday. Oh that's so nice. Slept in and I felt like a new woman. Did you? It was amazing. Reborn. I was like, Oh my God, I feel sensational right now. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I just feel like it's good for your mental health. It's good for your physical

health, but also it just clears your mind if you've got any stresses in the morning. Oh, absolutely. So yeah, overall, learn to say no. Okay. Learn to say no, but also just be able to remind yourself that saying no to other people is then going to make you better the next time. You know? Oh, absolutely. I remember when I was in rehearsals and we were doing like the intimacy stuff and the

woman doing it with us was like, no is a full sentence. If you don't want to do something, no is a full sentence. Oh, I love that. You don't have to explain yourself. If I say, do you want to do this? You say no, I'll take you at face value. Wow. You don't have to, and she was like, especially as women, I feel like you feel like you have to back yourself. If I say, do you want to do this? You say no, I'll take you at face value. Wow. You don't have to, and she was like, especially as women, I feel like you feel like you have

to back up a no. I'd be like, oh no, I'd love to but, but, but, but. She's like, just say no and it's fine. Wow. I love no is a full sentence. No is a full sentence. That could be another mantra for this week. I love it. No is a full sentence. Yeah.

Love that. Let's crack on to our dilemmas. Dilemmas. Okay, we've got some fantastic ones this week. Hit us off Katie. So, hey girls, I love your podcasts and I'm always inspired by your self care tips, but I'm struggling to make time for myself. I'm in my mid-twenties juggling a full-time job, trying to maintain friendships, keeping

up with my family who always need something and generally just feel like I'm always running around doing something for someone else. I'm exhausted and I know I need to prioritize myself, but every time I try to start a self-care routine, I just can't seem to stick with it. I feel so guilty whenever I take time for myself because there's always something else I should be doing. I'm also worried that I'll just end up disappointing everyone. Any advice on how to actually make some time for my self-care routine without feeling overwhelmed or guilty? I also think first of all, that overriding feeling of guilt. I don't think you're alone there because I think, sometimes I'll sit my ass on the sofa thinking, right, I've been

out all day and then I'm sitting here, put switches to be on, I think, why am I doing this when I could be doing this? You know, I think that overriding guilt is that I also think as women, I'm not belittling men's feelings in the slightest because we equally have our own pressures, but I'm not a man so I can't speak from their behalf. But as women, I think there is a big pressure on, well, what are you doing at the moment? How are you bettering yourself, your self care, on TikTok, on social media. It's a big, big presence. Yeah. Okay. This is interesting. She's finding it hard to find time for it and how to maintain it and not feeling guilty. Okay. I think the first thing with the not feeling guilty, I think if there's a point where you feel

I should be helping my mum here or a sibling, just make a quick note before you're about to have some self care of what you've done for other people this week. So that could be went to go pick up mum's parcel, got coffees for the office, little things like that. And you can see all those and think, fuck, I have done 10 things for other people this week. What have I done for myself? And you know what? 10 things for other people doesn't mean you have to do 10 things for yourself. No. 10 things for other people, you need to at least do one. Yes.

You need to do one. Yeah. And I think writing it down and visually seeing it, you could even keep it in a notes app, say what have I done this week? Bloody hell. Oh my God, right. I'm switching off my phone because I have done a lot this week. So I think that's the first bit of taking away the guilt. And then maintaining a routine, that's a tricky one. Bekkah Mishra M.D. Maintaining a routine, I often find, and I think it's something that we all struggle with because starting building consistency from scratch is actually very

hard, especially when it's something that you feel like you shouldn't really be doing for yourself. And it's something that you're not used to doing for yourself either. I always find stuff like habit stacking. I like, I stole this from a book I read, but like you always brush your teeth. You always turn your light off before you go to bed, leave something in front of your light. So if you're like, before I turn my light off, before I go to bed, leave something in front of your light. So if you're like, before I turn my light off before I go to sleep, there's a journal there, I'm going to write three things I'm grateful for today, three things I love about myself, and then I'm going to go to sleep. And then it's just in place and it's physically in front of you.

So it's a lot harder to be like, I'm not going to do that today. It's just there. So stuff like that I find easier. But also I think there's consistency isn't, sometimes I struggle massively with an all or nothing mentality that if I miss one day of it, that's it. I'm not just, just not going to do it anymore. I failed. I'm not going to like, and like if you miss a few days, building habits take a lot of time. Yeah, they do.

And if you miss one day, just pick it up the next day. If you miss three, pick it up the next day. Like don't put pressure on yourself. If you miss one day, you failed and it's not going to work anymore. Like just try as and when you remember and then soon it will just become muscle memory. I completely agree because I think consistency and I even said it about the meditation. It's not about doing it every day. It's about just doing it.

Yeah. meditation. It's not about doing it every day. It's about just doing them. I also think with the self-care staff, don't be so hard on yourself with thinking, I need to do an hour and a half every single day of gratitude. No, you could do half an hour. You could do five minutes. Also, it can be whatever you want for that day. It could be whatever benefits you. So do you know what? No, I'm not going to go for a run. I'm going to sit here and watch a film because that's going to make me feel relaxed and then I can go to bed. Fine. I think there's a stereotype about consistency being like a replica of the same thing. It doesn't need to be a replica because it's like healthy eating. What does that mean? I only can eat bananas? No, there's millions of other things

that are healthy. So think of it in that way. Okay, good luck, darling. So I've got another one. Hey girls, thank you for this question because I feel like I really need some guidance. I found myself in a situation where I genuinely don't know if I'm being selfish or standing up for myself for the first time. My sister, let's call her Sophie, had a baby and our family is obsessed with her, which is great obviously, but now there's this kind of unspoken expectation that I drop everything to help her all the time. I work full time and I'm finally in a good place mentally after struggling with burnout for a few years. But ever since the baby arrived, Sophie keeps asking me for favors, e.g. babysitting, running errands, even missing work to help

her out. The tipping point came last week. I booked a solo weekend away months ago, something I was really looking forward to for my mental health. And the night before I left, Sophie called in tears, saying she was overwhelmed and needed me to say, come stay with her for the weekend, but because her husband was working. I said no, kindly, but firmly, and told her I couldn't cancel my trip. She didn't take it well. She called me selfish and said I didn't understand how hard motherhood truly is. And now my mom is on my case too, saying family should come first. Now I feel awful. I love my sister, but I'm tired of always being the one to sacrifice my time and energy. Am I being heartless for saying no, or do I have a right to keep a

little piece of my life for myself? Amey I think it's tricky because I think you're in a classic like realm of, I've never been in this position, but I've felt like I've been in positions where you're both in completely different phases of your life and you won't be able to relate to what she's going through. And she can't really relate to what you're going through. So both of you are kind of like, as you should, being like, it's a case of not understanding. And then she's clearly like, she doesn't get it, she doesn't understand how hard things are for me. But like everyone's tolerance and everyone's like ceiling is different, but also valid. 100%.

So if you're like at the top of your ceiling and you're like, I need to go, I want a break, you take that break. I think it's unfair to pin that on you specifically, but it's also, I can understand a very overwhelming time to be juggling a newborn alone whilst your partner's away. And again, even hormonally, it's a crazy time. And to feel like you need an anchor of support is very valid. Yeah, complete. But I would try not to feel, I would try not to take it personally. I feel like her upset isn't necessarily directed towards you. I think it's more frustration and exhaustion and just like upset with the situation at

hand because she feels very overwhelmed and it's kind of all tunneled directly onto you. 100% I agree. But you need, like if you want to put yourself first and relax, put yourself, like, you've been helping out, you've done everything. Like, maybe as like a little, like, olive branch, you could get like a little pampa basket or something when you can see her next. But essentially, it sounds horrible. Because again, I'm not in this, like, position, but I'm like, it's not your responsibility. It's not your child. At the end of the day, that is not your baby. Yes, it is your niece and you love her so much and you love your sister. But because she's struggling, that's not fair for her to then make you struggle. And I think, and look, maybe your mum getting

involved, she, and I don't know, you can correct me, but maybe she's, well, she obviously has been a mother and maybe she hasn't been through what you're going through with working and all that kind of, but she could have, but in her mind, having a child's a priority or at least for the sister, that's fine. But you have to set boundaries with your sister. You have to be like, I love you so much and I love this child, but I cannot keep being your go-to. I am more than happy to help out when I can, but I've got a lot on my plate. But like, I can't drop things in a second. And also like- You cannot be missing work.

You paid for this trip as well. Yeah, you cannot. Do not think in any words that you are being selfish because you are not. No. And if anyone is making you feel that way, I think you need to take a step back or set your boundaries. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, should we go on to E? Okay, I've got one this week.

I have got two. Oh, okay. So I'll ping-pong you first. Yeah. Ready? Mine's an old. It's a tried and true. The first one is a repeat of last year, but I feel like I need to hammer the point home even more. Yeah. People say, see you next year. It's so funny that you find this in it. See you next year. Irrationally. This is your. This is your so much. I'm like, you'll see me Monday. You'll see me Monday.

It really gets to me. I'll see you next year. I'll see you tomorrow. It's literally in a few hours. Literally, I don't under... I'm like... My blood is boiling. So you never say see you next year? No. I'm like, my blood is boiling.

You never say see you next year. No, I think it's the most stupid thing. Like, see you next year. Fucking hell. Oh Jesus. That's like someone says see you in the new year. New year's, oh yeah, oh see you in the new year. Have a lovely Christmas.

Delightful. Ooh lovely. Adorable. If I'm seeing you on Tuesday and they're like, see you next year, because it's always, it's never like, oh, see you next year. It's like, see you, it's with dad. Like, oh, welcome to this. She never affects, I'll be saying that. I literally am like, I don't, I'm like. I love that so much. Right, you're ready. Okay, so mine has nothing to do with this, like the theme of the podcast

this week, but it's baby nicknames for your car. I heard it the other day and it gave me prickles down the back of my spine. Someone was like, so Benny Woo Woo is like running low on the gassy gassy. And I was like, I feel sick. I feel sick. I was like, why are you calling your car Benny Lulu for one? Like, Benny Lulu, Benny Lulu is feeling cold. It's a mechanic machine at the end of the day. It's neon. It doesn't give a shirt. I was like, and why is it Benny Lulu? It rashly pissed me off. I was like, Benny, Benny. I was like, and why is it Benny Lulow? It rashly pissed me off. I was like, Benny, I was like, no, you won't call me Lulow. You ready? Yeah. Mine, I saw this morning. Okay. And I actually got secondhand embarrassment. Oh

wow. But it's really reaffirmed to me I could never be a dog owner. Interesting. Because these two people, I was walking across the street and these two people were strangers, but their dogs came and started sniffing around at each other and licking each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's the awkward conversation they were having while the... Because I've never thought about this because you're missed and they're like, oh, they seem to like each other, don't they? Fucking hell. They said, oh, what's his name? Oh, it's a her actually. Oh, sorry, what's her name?

I'm like, oh my God, like, God, that is just too much for me. At least with a cat, it'll be pissing off during the day, so it'll be chatting to whoever it can. Yeah, it will have its own conversations. I don't have to be like, oh, nice cat. Like what? I literally was like, I can't do that. You're so funny.

I can't do that. You're so funny. I can't. Okay, question. Question. I'm serious. And I'm feeling... I'm deadly serious, Katie. So tell me, how do you, how does one talk to yourself when you make a mistake? And how are you kind to yourself afterwards? I am actually really bad at this.

I usually cry. Really? Really? I get like, I feel like if I make like a big mistake, no, I'll always cry. I'm like, I'm such an emotional person and I'm very sensitive and I hate making mistakes. But I'm also like, I put a lot of pressure on myself. It really depends in what capacity because even if like, when I first joined this new job, like, as you do when you join new jobs,

like you make mistakes, like it's inevitable. And for some reason I can never like, and if a friend like if you went to a new job and made like little mistakes, we're feeling really upset about it. I mean, I feel so fine. Yeah. But when I do it, I'm like, this is fucking unacceptable. Like everyone's going to hate me. Like I tend to spiral quite quickly. I think in terms of being kind to myself, I always text my mom. I just feel like, yeah, like, Do you know what? I don't think that ever goes. Yeah. I don't think I think at whatever age, like I'll have the most minor inconvenience to text my mom like, she'll be like, you're so good. I'm like, I am.

I actually am. I feel like I usually just need someone to like tell me it's fine. I agree. Or sometimes I actually go on like Reddit, which is hilarious. I and then look up like making mistakes at work and watch people like people like write stuff they've done at work and either I've seen someone's done something last I'm like I'm fine or people in the comments always like you're so fine you're here at what like to make mistakes it's okay like I've been there I read like forums where people have

done the same thing. I felt so interesting and sometimes I'm like oh I feel a bit better about this now because the world's huge and people are all doing the same thing. Everyone's telling. Yeah. What about you? I'm the same.

I'm an immediate crier. Yeah. Actually, it depends what the mistake is. If it's a genuine like or share and someone's like, what the, I'd be like, chill. Like it's a mistake. I will always do the sorry. I'll be like, I'm so sorry. Yeah.

But I'm just like, it was a mistake. Yeah. But if it's like something about me, then I'll be really upset. I always cry. And then I'll go immediately to Arch and my mom and be like, and they'll be like, come here little possum. Yeah. Completely. Okay, ask me, see you. My silly question is, it's New Year's Eve. Yeah, tell me. Arch is there, striking midnight, you're having your

New Year's kiss. Would you rather have the worst New Year's kiss, like genuinely, and it has to last like five minutes. And for some reason, like the gods take over Archie is only the most terrible kisser come midnight. And you literally have to get and it is a disc, like it is physically unpleasant. Like it's literally like you're just you, you can't, you can't like it's Controlling. Can't control it. It's very unpleasant. Okay. Or never be able to kiss on key moments like Valentine's Day, birthdays, Christmas. But like you have to endure five minutes of like the worst kiss of your life every New

Year's. Bring it on. I'm doing worst kiss of my life. I feel like me not in a real love bubble at the moment. Like I just see him I'm like, come here you. I just squeezed your face. He literally had a chat with me the other day that he was like, can here you, I'll just squeeze your face. He literally had a chat with me the other day that he was like, can you stop kind of like pinching when you get excited? I was like, yeah, I'm in the love bubble at the moment. If we had the worst kiss of my life, I'd be like, God, I love you. I know, I know. He's been so great. He's been so great. So I would just be like, bring on the kiss because you know what, I want. He's been so great. He's been so great. So I would just be like, bring on

the kiss because you know what, I want a kiss for my birthday. I want a kiss on Valentine's. And I know Archie's a great kisser. So if he just slips up on New Year's, I'll be like, let's get over that. I would probably take the piss. I'm like, New Year's not great. But every other time you'll be going in for like, no. Yeah, I'll be like, here I go. I'm like, here comes the hot stuff. I would think I would do that. How about you? Would you rather have an awful kiss in a nightclub? That you're like, that is disgusting. Or would you rather never be able to have cheeky kisses? Right, right. No, I think I'd still do the New Year's. Yeah. Because I- Give me the New Year's. Yeah.

Because I- Give me the New Year's, I'll do it. I think there's nothing- And also New Year's is usually really heavy, like loads of drinks, do you know what I mean? Yeah, like it's all a bit sloppy anyway. So it's all a bit sloppy, like mascara's down your face. Yeah. So I'm kind of like, that's fine.

Oh, it's okay. Yeah. Right guys, we've got to the end of the app. Have a great New Year's, guys. I hope you have it. See you at the New Year's. See you. See you next year. Love you all. Have a great time, guys.. I hope you have a... See you at the New Year's. See you next year. Love you all.

Have a great time guys. Stay safe. Bye. See you later. Bye. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul.

I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul.

I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul. I've got a rebel soul.