The Debrief - Tricky Traditions | The Debrief Podcast

Episode Date: December 22, 2025

Welcome back to The Debrief!This week were are talking all things festive family traditions! As always DM us @the.debriefpodcast or email us: [e-mail] with any debriefs or dilemmas 🫶🏻Lots of love,K+K xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul Welcome to the deep breathe With your co-host Kissy McNeil And your co-host Katie Leach It's another day in paradise Here we are looking nice

Have you ever seen a girl Who's put you in a whirl I've been loving that Do you remember when we played that at the weekend? It was so good. I had the best time. So there's this new thing on TikTok where you have to try rhyme and I'm literally dying.

It's so funny. I ever seen a seagre on the edge of the wits. Have you ever sat on a pit or fire and shit? It's like really, some people are very talented with it. Some people are really good at it. I saw it really funny. Oh, please do. It was really funny.

Right, we're going to crack on this week. Let's crack on. Because it's the 22nd of December. Oh, Christmas Eve, Eve. Yeah, almost, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve. We're almost sad. Yeah. And we got a good one this week.

Yes. So we're going to crack on. Let's do it. Without the jibba jabber of me and peach wallowing on. Exactly. So my manch for this week is today, I will do an act of kindness that makes someone else feel good. Oh, that's nice. I know.

So I've just driven back from my mum and dad's place. Yep. And I've been trying to set myself a goal of doing an act of kindness each day. Oh. And I was thinking to myself. myself, well, my act of kindness is running out today. Yes, yes. So I let someone in.

I indicated and said, on you go. Come in. On you go. And then I later on was let in and I thought, good karma. Yes. It all comes back round. It all comes back. It all comes back.

But actually, if you think, right, I'll do something kind to it. And it doesn't need to be like, bloody out, like, you know, pay for someone's lunch. Just a tiny little thing. But you look so nice today. Someone's like, oh my God, I feel so good. Yeah, that's really sweet. Tell me your mantra for this week. My mantra is, allow yourself some space.

Oh, go on. I feel like my big thing recently has been like allowing emotions to come in and not telling them to leave. Lovely. Bring them into the space. Hey, you, come in. Come in, sit down. If you like shove them down.

No point. What are we doing then? That's silly. That's foolish. It's foolish behavior. Before I just started talking, Katie said to me she's literally feeling so anxious. I literally, guys, I can't, I can't even, literally, I'm like, and I've just had therapy as well, and I'm literally like, surely, I was fine before. Now I've, like, I feel so overwhelmed. Mentally, I feel fine, like, literally happy, happy Larry. But, like, physically, my stomach's in knots right now. Like, I feel like I'm nervous or I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm weird. I haven't experienced last week that I genuinely never had before. And I thought, is this what a panic attack feels like? Or like, or is this anxious? I was like, I was like walking around. Yeah. And it felt like someone was screaming inside, like, but I was just walking around, like, in silence. And I was like, ah. And what's going on right now? Oh, my God. And I was like, and I literally just had to sit down and go like, yeah, literally. And I was like, what is going on? I was like, I actually feel really happy.

No, honestly. So what's going on? I'm really scared. Really peculiar. Really peculiar. Yeah. My song for this week is, oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day. When the band starts singing and the band begins to play

Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day Let the bells ring out for Christmas Beautiful, beautiful, fantastic I think it's quite a child Christmas song It is a classic child Christmas song. I feel like you think of you and you are a child. being like, God, I wish it. Because I was thinking, not as a Scrooge, but as a realist.

Yeah, yeah. Christmas every day wouldn't make you appreciative. It would have, no, no, no, no. So I thought to myself, actually, reality, it couldn't be Christmas every day. It could never. But as a child, God, God, you'd wish it. That would have been very. Yeah, that would have been fantastic.

Fan, bloody-tastic. I remember, like, like, praying to Santa, like, please. Please, come back. Please, like, please, but also, I remember, like, when I remember, like, when I I started like, I might have been nine or ten. And I saw movies and I saw, oh, the hot girls and all of that. And I was like, please let me have boobs. Oh. Well, Santa delivered. Santa delivered. He overachieved. I thought that, not that much. Hey, Santa. But I also did ask for an ass. He didn't give me that. I was like, I think he was, like, you were, like, you can't have two.

No, I gave you excess of one. Yeah, you can't have both. So I gave it to you. Yeah. You're not having the other one. You can't have both. Okay. All right. Okay. I'll move on. Yeah. What's your song for this week? My song for this week, funnily enough on theme, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, bad bitches have bad days too. Anxiety by Megan the Stallion. Is that anxiety? No, it's like, I'm a bad bitch, but I got bad anxiety. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, bare bitches had bad days too.

I was literally listening today like, bad bitches do have bad days too. Me being said bad bitch. Because you're bad bitch, you're bad bitch. I'm bad bitch. Are you bad bitch and a day? I walk into every room and they're like, there's that bad bitch. I know you like, here I go. I'm like, hey, bad bitch in the building.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think some people are quite threatened by your bad bitch, aren't you? I walk in, people are scared. Yeah, yeah. I've heard that before. People are intimidated. People are scared.

They don't know what they want to do. They're like, cowering. No one comes up to talk to me on that's really weird. They're like, it's because we're terrified of you. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's your bad bitch energy. Have you actually ever heard someone who's like, I'm really scared of you? God, no.

No. You must have. No, scared. The resting bitch face is terrified. Scared, no. people just, people are more concerned for me than scared. People are like, are you all right? I'm like, yeah, I'm literally like the happiest I've ever been. They're like, oh, because you look really sad right now. And I'm like, I'm just concentrating. Just focused on the task at hand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me. Don't take the middle of me. No. When I'm locked in, I'm locked in. Absolutely. Like, if I'm looking at you a certain way, just assume I'm locked in. Yeah, don't assume. Don't assume. I'm just locked in. Yeah, exactly. Recommendation. This week is the Alfred Tenson. Tennyson. Tenison. Tenison. Thank you. In Belgravia.

Oh, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair friend. Yes. Birthday was last weekend. Guys. And we went to the Alfred Tennyson. It was fantastic. What? It's a part of the Cubot House.

Chewitt House Group. Cuban House Group. And genuinely, best food I've ever had. It was fantastic. It was fantastic. Really, really good food. I also had a really nice call. cocktail. Yeah. Because it was on the, I will say, that's not a casual dinner night. You're not

thinking, it wasn't. I'd love to gossip with my friend like you and I do. Oh, yeah. Why don't we just grow to the, it's not a base face. It's not a Franca Manca. It's not, it's no. It's not your Wagamma. You're not eating throughout the day, so you have more money for later. No, it was, if I hadn't have got paid that day, I wouldn't have been able to go to dinner. No, no, no, I would have done the sob story to Mum. I would have to call my parents. Please suck. Could I have some money for dinner? Yeah, I'm like, I literally am so... I told him I was coming.

I'm on my ass. Yeah, yeah. But Gorge, really, really good vibe. It was. If you're this way inclined, which I'm not, I didn't know who he was. But Schooner, Scora was sat right next was with a really, really big family. Yeah. I think it was his birthday too.

Was his birthday. He had like 20, a table of like 20. We were sat there, table of seven. Yeah. He was like making a joke. Oh, someone else's birthday too. I was like, yeah, it's our friend. Yeah, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah. I didn't know who. was, but people on our table dead. The boys were running wild. It honestly feels like to me how it would have been if like the Jonas brothers arrived for dinner. Like I would have been, they were at that level. They were like, oh my God, it's schooner scorer. And I was like...

They could stop looking at him. They couldn't, they could not stop talking about it. I was like, guys, I simply like, I've seen some of his videos. I know of him, but I wasn't like that schooner scorer. I wouldn't have recognized him someone who points out. Absolutely. Before we jump in quickly, I want to say, have you been keeping up to sit with Amazon's letter? No. Okay, can I tell you what's going on them?

Oh, yeah. Vogue's got out and I'm livid. People, I know people didn't respond well to her. They didn't respond well to her for a few reasons. Yeah. But I'm like, I just don't feel she had enough air time. No, that's such a shame. Whereas I'm like, because clearly like we're best friends. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I know Vogue on a deep level. So I'm like, you didn't give her enough screen time to show her good parts.

And because she was late to it, it was. I was very disliked. Please. That's a shame. I know. I really like her. I think she should have done. I really like her. And I saw her do that challenge where she was like running in slime and I was like, she nailed it. And she got all-stars. She nailed it. She was amazing.

Yeah, I don't know. She was really, really great. Public map. I know. I was like, oh, come on. Okay, you ready to debrief? Let's debrief. This week we're talking all about Christmas disagreements.

Because let's be honest, for a season that's meant to be all joy and sparkles, it can get a little tense. Home. Going home. Yes. Yes. Everyone wants to have the perfect day, have their own traditions, and sometimes it turns into a full, full-blown festive negotiation. Big time.

Negotiation. Negotiation. Today we're going to dive into some juice on them as about different Christmas disagreements, which are a bit tricky to unpick. But before we do, let's talk about our own. Okay. So in my family, the biggest, and I say disagreement in the bunny is, because it wasn't necessarily a disagreement,

But every year, Lily and I got to alternate putting the star or the angel on top of the tray. Okay. So it'd always be, but classic me, I got a bit cheeky and ended up, you know, Lily, you did last year. She didn't do last year. Gaslight gate keep. It was the gaslighting Kitty era. And then Lily because she's a massive compromiser and her absolute gem, she'd like, okay, Kitty. And I'd then be like, time to put the star on three years in a row.

Yeah. Oh, at point it was coming up. For three years and I was thinking this isn't you got this. Then Lily would put it up and up a little bit, I'll be like, I should get the spotlight. Mum actually reminded me this week that he used to have a sticker chart. And on the sticker chart, it would be like things that we weren't very good at, you know. So it would be like, so if Lily, Lily wasn't great at her spelling.

So she got a spelling right, you get a sticker and all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And mine was, be nice to your sister. Oh my God. On mine it was, be nice to your sister. And on Lily's, it was stop dobbing on Kitto. that's good that is fantastic it's so good it's so good yeah do you have any like maybe not disagreements but things that can cause tension at christmas that it's like i would

like to do the only other thing i will quickly add is that my sister my mum cooks every single meal no one like i want to cook out it's never like that my mom's an amazing cook and we all love her food so it's never like but lily has recently now come little sushi she always wants to join in And I think I heard it once being like, yeah, well, yeah, I'd cook Christmas and mum's eyes twitch and, you know. I couldn't see that happening for a while, but nearly is also a really good cook. But mum loves to host. So that's the only thing. How about you?

I feel like there are two ways this boils down to. One has to be board games. Now, listen, Mark, you need to catch my parents in a very specific mood to ask to play a board game. However, I, one of my fondest memories growing up, is playing stuff like frustration, Cludeau, like Monopoly, doing board games like that. But as soon at Christmas time, they have their schedule of things they'd like to watch.

You have to really put the groundwork in early if you'd like to play a board game. It's not a spontaneous thing. You can't be like, should I just whack out Cludeau? No. No, because they're on to the fourth episode of Death and Paradise at that point and they're thinking they're ruining my Christmas. We can't fit Cludeau in right now, maybe next year.

We could pencil that in, but it's not happening right now. Christmas could be good. So there's that. I also think there's no beef with cooking. I always like to cook the gravy with my dad. Oh, that's not. Are you the gravy taster? Yeah, it's something we've always said,

I cook by any years. Lovely. I stand and provide banter and often sprinkle a bit of salt and flour in the gravy. And pat him on the back when he does a great job. And I'm like, fantastic. And then I seal it up, put it in the freezer. And I'm like, I've done it again. Yeah.

I honestly. I've done it again. I don't know how I do it. every year. I don't know how I do it, but I've done it again. I've done it. I do think also, does your dad let that you take the credit? No. No. No. No. I do think... Because in my family, we all have our own jobs in the sense of

I'm table decorator. Oh, love that. Dad is rubbish in the bins. Yeah, yeah. He's washing up after Christmas. Yeah. Mum's cooking, Lily Sue's Chef. So we all have our roles. But I'd be livid if dad's at the table. I'd be like, that's my role. Because then you'd be like, why are you placing it like that? Yeah, what? Where's the whimsy?

Absolutely. Where's the table? Where's the centrepiece? Exactly. What are you doing? Exactly. Okay, so board games can be a bit of a touch. Board games, also like walks. Oh, go on, go on. Like, if someone wants to go for a walk, sometimes it's like, oh, does it want to be like a big family walk? And some, but they're like, there's no pressure either way.

So it's like, you know, we'll go minus like two people. And then we feel a bit that you're like, oh, will we leaving these people behind? They don't usually care that much. But then it's like, I want to go for a walk. But if no one wants to come, they'll be like, well, I can have fun. So I'm like. Boxing Day walk for one. Stop it.

Who likes to go on a walk? Usually my sister and her boyfriend will go on a walk. Okay. I'll usually join them. My dad's cousin likes to go for a walk. My parents will usually come. It's usually my youngest sister who's at that kind of age. Who's like, I'm too cool for walks.

I'm not. Why walk when I can fly? I'm not walking. Or we'll start walking as you'll get about 10 minutes in and go, yeah, this is. Might turn back. I've got my steps in and I'll turn back. Fair enough. Fair enough.

Okay. Okay. So we've got some really, really good dilemmas that are honestly really, really interesting that we haven't really had before in the sense. Interesting. In the sense that they're really hard. Okay. I can kind of see both sides to both to both dilemmas. We've got two juicy ones. Yeah. This is the first one. Hi, girly pops. I really need to debrief with you, Kitty and Katie. Sorry that it's a long one. It is a long one. Yeah. But I would love both of your opinions and your thoughts. on this. So, settle in. Settling, Katie. I'm settled. For context, my boyfriend is very in capitals, religious. Okay. Like church every Sunday and happy about it religious. Right. And do you know what? I love that for him. Truly, his faith makes him happy. It grounds him, it fulfills him and it makes him a better person. And I honestly admire that about him. Okay. I actually go to church with him

once a week every Sunday because I want to support him. He sometimes go three or four times a week, which no, absolutely not. I tap out there, but I will always go on the Sunday to support him. Oh, that's nice. But he has always been fine with that. He's never pushed it on me or said that I should be coming to more or even said I should be religious. If anything, he always says he really appreciates how much I support him. Meanwhile, my religious upbringing was Chris Tingle.

I went to the orange of the sweets and the candle. Vibes. And then I made a little cameo at Easter for the chocolate eggs, but that was about it. Yeah. So, like, I'm a spiritual, light touch kind of girl. Right. Anyway, fast forward to this year, our first Christmas together. Okay.

And you guys, it's also, capitals, my birthday. Oh, shit. Yes. I am one of those Christmas babies. Yeah. And honestly, my entire life, it has been a running joke. Like, Christmas in your birthday must be chaos. Yeah, yeah.

and all that sorts. But my family and friends have always made it work. I've always felt celebrated individually as well as enjoyed Christmas. Yeah. My parents would always do the two gifts thing, which would be nice. Or we'd do half Christmas Day and half birthday, which was lovely. Or have a little cake after dinner. Yeah.

It was always recognised. One year, this is still my favourite memory. I just graduated uni and my mum secretly invited all my friends over for boxing day. But instead, they surprised me on Christmas night. They were all hiding in the garage and my mum said, can you grab something from the fridge? I'd go out there, open the door and bam, a banner that said, happy birthday, Jesus, but the Jesus was crossed out and it said my name written beneath. That's sweet. I was howling. My family has always gone out of the way to make the day feel like it's still mine. Yeah. I got to celebrate it on Christmas evening and

Boxing Day. Lovely. So, naturally, I assumed my boyfriend would just acknowledge my birthday too. I wasn't expecting a party or a full production. Yeah. I literally just wanted a card or a little cake or some recognition that I was born too. Yeah. But no. Absolutely not. Okay.

My boyfriend has made it very capital letters clear that he is not doing anything birthday related on Christmas Day. Oh. Because he says it's disrespectful to his religion. Okay. He told me he will happily celebrate my birthday after the religious period is over. Like, I'm confused. When is that going to be after fucking Lent? Oh, God bless.

Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So I said to him, and maybe this was petty, but whatever I was viewing, okay, I said, well, maybe Jesus is encroaching on my birthday. He needs to share banter. Oh, that's funny. And oh my God, the way his face changed. He was absolutely. livid. He looked like

a kicked his grandmother. He goes, the day is Christmas, not animus. Okay, maybe that's your name, animus. Oh, geez. And honestly, in that moment, I understand, oh, this is good. And honestly, in that moment, I understood why Mary rode

a donkey, because it's easier than riding a man. Well, I ended up driving back to my flat, absolutely fuming. Yeah. Like, handshaking on the steering wall, but also a bit of a cry. Yeah. And the thing is, I've spoken to a few people about this, family, friends, etc. And the opinions are so mixed.

Some people are like, well, it is your birthday. You do you deserve acknowledgement. What an ass? And others are like, come on, it is Christmas. He does have a point. So here's my question. And am I the asshole for wanting to celebrate my birthday on my actual birthday? Or is he being unreasonable?

From where I'm sitting, it feels like Christmas is stealing my thunder. But am I being disrespectful to his religion? really hard because I don't think you're wrong to want to celebrate your birthday of course not but also like he clearly feels so strongly about his faith

I feel like there is a middle road like surely he could go to like service and then come back and then like see you blow out the candles you know what I mean I think there can be some wiggle room it feels very extreme yes

you know she as she said she's not expecting a party No, no. So, and as she said, some years, you know, it's been extravagant. And other years, it's literally just been two presents, one for the birthday, one for Christmas. Yeah. Other years, it's just been a gay. So I feel like there is...

I don't understand. I think there's a middle ground you can reach, and I think if he's not willing to reach it, then that poses a bigger question. I genuinely think it does. And I'm not saying that being with someone religious, therefore, it's not going to work out for you. Because I don't believe that's the case. No. But I, look, I am not...

religious to, for example, it's one of my friends' birthdays from school on Christmas days. And I always send her a huge message on to Christmas, say, happy birthday, you know, I think, I think for me, the most disrespectful, in a way, part of it is I'm not going to celebrate any of this until the religious period is over. Yeah, yeah. The religious period will always be a part of his life. Yes, yeah. This is really, I mean, he goes to church four times the week. This is very important to him. Yeah. You know, your birthday's once, a Yeah. And yes, so is Christmas. Yes, yes, yes. I do understand that. Yeah, yeah. If I'm honest, and if this was me and my boyfriend, this would be quite a big issue.

Yeah, I think so. Because in my mind then, I think, well, I actually don't want to spend Christmas with you then. Because I don't want to hold out the hope that you're going to do this and then be disappointed that you didn't surprise me. Yeah, 100%. So I would say, well, I'm either going to go home or if you can't go home, like, yeah, or whatever. I'll go to my friends who will, you know, enjoy that. And I actually think you need to give him a bit of an ultimatum with that. I do think you need to sit down with him and be like, and just remind him. Yeah. But just because you're not going to church four times a week with him.

Yeah. You do respect his religion. Yeah. I think you need to say that just to like, I think at the moment he thinks you're being quite selfish with this request. Yeah, yeah. So I think just say, you know, I absolutely really value your religion. You are compromising a lot.

Yeah. I think you are and say, you know, this is a part of you that I really love, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and but the dismissal of my birthday has really disappointed me. Yeah. And I'm not wanting to take away from your Christianity. I'm not wanting to take away from your beliefs. Yeah. But the fact that not even an acknowledgement of my own birthday is something you're winning to do, I think I need to spend Christmas elsewhere. Yeah. Because if you can't do that for me, that will upset me and ruin the day. Yeah. And see how he response. Is he going to go, oh, no, no, no, please, please, please stay. Right, sorry. I give him a bit of time to think about it. You know, I think don't give him,

don't let him have a response straight away. You could say to him, I'll give you a bit of time to think about this. But, you know, this is something important to me. Like, your religion's important to you. Yeah, yeah. And see what he says. Because, yeah, it's, I don't think it's something you should compromise on with your birthday. No, it's, you're not telling him. that you can't celebrate the birth of Christ. No. You're not saying that. No, no, no, not at all.

And I think that that would be a massive part of the day as well. Yeah. So I don't see how a little bit of it could be over to you as well. Yeah, I agree. Next one. Okay, good luck. Hi, Katie and hi Kitty. I just wanted to say I love the pod and I always feel so much more positive about the week ahead after listening.

I am a male listener, which might say. Surprise you. But when you hear this dilemma, you'll understand exactly why I'm here long. So, Christmas has always been, mind my language, a fucking nightmare. Okay. Not because of the presents, not because of the cooking, but because of the political and social views that come out at the dinner table. Of course. My parents aren't too bad.

Yeah. My dad occasionally throws out the odd questionable comment that makes my jaw clench. Yeah. But my grandparents, oh my God, they're the. absolute worst. Yeah. I've sat throughout Capitals years of Christmas dinners either silently vibrating with rage trying not to launch myself across the table or fully snapping and getting into a row because I refuse to let the nonsense go and checked and then feeling miserable throughout the day. But this year, everything feels a little bit different

because I'm different. Since I was about 16, I kind of knew or at least suspected that I'm might be gay. But I did push it down hard, like societally pressured to the point of delusion hard. And I think a big part of that was knowing that I'd have to face my family if I ever admitted it. So I just didn't. I think I went through a bit of a phase of sleeping with a lot of women to convince myself that I wasn't gay. Fast forward to a few months ago, I had my first sexual experience with a man and it was like everything clicked into place. Suddenly the last 11 years made sense. And now I've been seeing someone for four months

and I'm genuinely properly in love with him. Oh. Like the stupid kind of smiling at my phone kind of love every single time he texts. I've told my sister, I'm 28 by the way. Yeah. So it's taken me over a decade to get here. And she was shocked.

Yeah. Like she didn't see it coming at all. But she also was very supportive. And she said, if I'm happy, then she's happy. Great. She's even met to the guy that I. I'm seeing and said, you've never looked happier. Oh, so that sounds great.

Lovely. But here's the problem, girls. I've never talked about this with my parents or grandparents, not once. And now Christmas is coming up, meaning the annual festivity of ignorant comments and bigotry is right around the corner. And I'm absolutely dreading it. I don't know if I can sit there for another year listening to my grandparents say horrible, drogatory things about people like me, about people like the man I love. and still keep my mouth shut.

It feels wrong this time. It feels like I'm portraying myself and Tim. But the thought of telling them of coming out at Christmas terrifies me. Part of me feels like I have to tell them that if I stay silent, I'm letting their comments have power over me. And part of me feels like maybe Christmas isn't the moment. Maybe I should protect my peace and keep this holiday calm and deal with the fallout another time.

I just honestly really don't know what to do. But I just feel like my backups this year because of my situation and I'm stressed and I also don't want a blow up at Christmas Day and it turned into a war zone. So what do you think? Do I tell them, do I wait? Or is this actually the wrong moment?

You've got to do what you're comfortable with. Firstly, secondly, if you think by doing that, you are going to have a traumatic experience, do not do it. Yeah. Because there are some people, unfortunately, especially at grandparent age, who aren't the most progressive people. And if they're going to make you feel worse,

and make you feel less than for doing something and being who you are, I wouldn't do it. If you think that it's going to be bad and almost protect your peace in that way, I think that's the best way forward. You just have to think, because I understand you're wanting to be your authentic self. Yeah. But it's whether you think you're going to feel worse about your authentic self by the end of it. Yeah.

And you don't want that. I agree. and I also think that your grandparents I'm going to change. No. I mean, that's harsh. They might, but they have gone 70 or how many years of feeling this way. It might not change their opinion. And I think if you tell them this and it doesn't, I think that will really hurt you.

Yes. I think it is important that you tell your parents. Yeah. I'm not convinced Christmas is the best time to tell them because I think not only then is it you coming out, it's, and you've ruined Christmas, you've ruined me coming out, you've ruined everything for me, you've ruined this holiday. Do you remember last Christmas when I came out to you and you ruined everything? Yeah, yeah. And look, that's me thinking negatively. Maybe you tell them and they are amazing about it. Yeah. I think the first steps, I mean, I know it's only a few weeks

to Christmas or a few days even, I think the few steps are putting a boundary in the sense if any time this conversations come up, you and your sister make yourself fake. You've told your sister about this. She's been very supportive. Talk to her beforehand. Be like, I'm really concerned about going. And I'm really, I don't know if I can keep my mouth shut. But I think it would break me if they said something homophobic to me.

I think I would be really upset. Get her on size so that if anything starts kicking off, she goes, right, let's go clean the dishes. Let's go wash up. Or blah, blah, blah, so you don't need to hear that. I don't know what your, bless you, darling. I don't know what your relationship is like with your parents. And I think there could be something quite great in getting them onside before as well

because then it could shut the conversation down. But I do understand Christmas as fast approaching. And I think I'm sure your family will be great and your parents will be lovely. But if it takes them time to process, that might upset you on Christmas. Why haven't you said anything to me yet? Why? In my opinion and my advice is I would wait until after Christmas. And I would tell your parents.

parents one-on-one first, if you want, have your sister there because she sounds like a really, really good support. And they, your parents could even tell your grandparents if you didn't feel comfortable with it. I think rather than it all, I think you've had such a lot going on in the last few months. You've had your first sexual experience. You've, the first time you've actually omitted your sexuality. You've known for a decade plus years of knowing your sexuality, but it's the first time you've admitted it. Yeah. I think little steps by baby steps. I think it's so exciting and I'm

so happy for you that you've been able to identify your sexuality and be able to explore it. I don't want you to get hurt because you're moving really quickly. Just let it as case said, do what you feel comfortable with. If you think they are not going to receive this well, don't put yourself through that. Yeah.

Don't let them say homophobic things to you. Don't let them discriminate you. Yeah. You're worth more than that. Yeah. Water off a duck's back. Put your teflon coat on, let those horrible words just wash off your own coat. Yeah. Because it's not affecting you anymore. No. It's not. Um, gosh, good luck. Yeah. I really hope this goes well for you. Yeah. Anything more you want to say. We support and love you. We're completely support and love you. I'm so pleased for you. I think it takes people, you know, their whole lives to figure this kind

of type of thing out. Yeah, massively. It's brilliant. You're 28. I mean, I bet it was such a struggle for all that time to be, you know, on your own with your thoughts. Yeah. But it's your, it's your story, it's your narrative. It really is. Like you, the ball's in your core and you've got control. And at the end of the day, if you say, girls, thank you, but I am actually going to do it at Christmas. You do it.

You do it what you're damn well, please. You know, you've had enough time hiding. If you're like, I'm ready to come out, then bloody do it. Yeah, honestly. You know, we'll support you. I've got one. You ready? Forced fun.

Oh, go on. Forced fun at Christmas now. You're spending a lot of time with family you don't usually see a lot of the times. Like, of course we want to do some activities. Love it. However, do I want to be doing like sports day in the back garden? No. No, I don't.

It's one of those things where it's like, we said we're going to do this, so we'll do it. Even if no one's really vibing. It's not like listening to the consensus of the group. Okay, okay, yeah. Forced fun. Yeah, nor a fan. Okay, love fun. Are you ready?

Yeah. people who keep wrapping paper why are you unwrapping a present and they're like oh I'll keep this what the fuck are you keeping that for because Christmas wrapping paper you can't really reuse no next Christmas

so that all we'll keep this I'm like I've given you a present it's lovely print yeah yeah yeah oh this lovely paper I'll keep it don't keep it throw it in the bend it's not offending my feelings yeah

it's got cellar tape on and your name or you dick at oh questions Questions? I am serious. And I am silly. Okay, my serious question for you this week is, ah, my leg's gone numb. How do you balance respecting other people's beliefs or traditions? Yeah.

With asserting your own needs and wants. I think it doesn't have to be as deep as people think at us. Okay, go on. Because I think oftentimes, like, we have it. I think my family are fairly good at it. If we're going on a holiday, my parents are like, our feelings aren't going to be. be hurt. We're going to do this. Do you want to come? Yes or no. Literally no stress. That's quite nice as an adult relationship. Yes. Yeah. Where it's like, I like that vibe like at Christmas on family holidays. It's like, listen, I've booked, I booked yoga class 830. More than welcome

to come with. However, if you don't want to, why don't we meet at XYZ afterwards? You know, something like that. So I think that's fine. It's like if I'm going to my boyfriend's house for Christmas and they're like every year we do like a family run yeah and I get bad shin splints I'll be like oh my God I would love to yeah but actually I'll just watch from the sidelines and make you all a sign and take the photos how about that lovely lovely I think that's not beefy that's not she's not joining in no she's not being bad vibes it's like physically can't yeah completely yeah yeah I do agree with that I think yeah I think it's nice and chill yeah okay so my silly question is would you rather yeah

have to celebrate a different holiday on a normal holiday date. So Christmas is no longer Christmas. Oh, shit. It could be like 25th of December, it's Valentine's Day. Oh, shit, okay. So it all swaps around. Like, you think it's Easter, it's Halloween. Like, it's Halloween you're celebrating Christmas.

No. Or have no more traditions. You just go for Christmas, but you can't really do anything. You can't do the same thing twice. What do you mean? Like, for example, If you're always watching a Muppet's Christmas Carol on the 24th... Like, once you watch a Muppet's Christmas car, you can't watch that anymore for Christmas.

Like next year, you can't repeat. Can't be like, oh, we watched Muppet's Christmas Carol, let's do that again. That'll be nice. It's a tradition. Can't do it. So you just go, but everything, it has to be different every year. Including the roast? I'm going to say yes.

No, I will swap the holidays then. Would you? It'll keep me on my toes. I love a tradition. What's it going to be? Yeah, what's going to happen this time? I love a tradition. Yeah.

You know, and if I can have a bloody roast on Christmas Day, I'll be livid. Yeah, bonus roast on like Mayday. Yeah. You know. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Winning. Right, guys, we've got to the end of the air.

I hope you have a fantabulous day and a good rest of your week. And remember, have a great Christmas. Be kind. Oh, happy Christmas, my lovely job. Have a great Christmas. Happy Christmas. Ho, ho. Oh, oh.

Oh, love you. Bye. I've got a rebel soul I've got a rebel soul