The Decibel - How to talk to kids about climate change

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

The threat and realities of climate change are real and visceral – punishing heat waves, families displaced, towns destroyed by wildfires, dangerous smoke hanging over communities and flash floods that can be deadly and unpredictable. But how do you talk to kids to prepare them for the reality, without overwhelming or scaring them?Amberly McAteer is a contributing columnist for The Globe, who often writes about parenting. She joins the show to talk about the challenging conversations we’re having with children and how climate change anxiety is influencing the way parents approach these talks.Questions? Comments? Ideas? E-mail us at [e-mail]

Parents usually dread having the sex talk with their kids. But there are lots of other tough conversations you have to have, too. Like, what is death? And is Santa real? But for Amberley McAteer, those questions were easy. You know, those questions I've been pretty transparent about and I speak to them with you know age-appropriate honesty. So you know where a baby comes from we've said that you know mommy and daddy get together and they love each other and out of that love a baby is formed in the woman's tummy. You know I'm not going into the physics of it I'm just giving an honest answer that a five and a three year old can understand. Death. I talk a lot about how my grandmother was amazing and I'm telling my kids these stories and they go, well where's your grandma now? And I say, you know, her body stopped working

but that doesn't mean that the love goes away. It just means she's not here with us right now. Santa is a little bit more of like a divisive topic with me and my husband, but whenever my kids have asked, you know, how real is Santa, I talk about that he's created by the spirit of giving. But then there was the issue of climate change. So a question I couldn't quite answer came up. You know, my daughter looked outside one morning in June

and said, mom, why is the sky orange? And I did something that I've never actually done before. And that is just skirt the question entirely, redirected, distracted, and until she just forgot about it. You know, I said, hey, orange is a fun word to say, hey kiddo, orange, orange, orange. I was orange is a is a fun word to say. Hey, kiddo. Orange, orange, orange. I was like, I have a fun game to play. Does anything rhyme with orange? Because I just honestly could not stomach telling her that the truth was that wildfires are burning

out of control in several parts of the country, and they're affecting our air quality here in Toronto, and we don't know when it's going to stop or when it's going to come back. You know, how much of that can I really unload on a five-year-old? Right. Hard to talk about climate change. Easy to say the word door hinge. That doesn't rhyme with orange. That absolutely rhymes with orange. The reality is that climate change isn't something we can hide from children. Smokey air means kids can't play outside.

Extreme heat is shutting down schools. Flooding is becoming tragically common, including in Texas, where more than 100 people, at least 27 of them children at a summer camp, died last week. And every summer now, died last week. And every summer now, entire families are displaced by wildfires. So we're already living with the effects of a warming climate. But how do we talk to kids about it? Amberly is a contributing columnist for The Globe and Mail, who writes about parenting. Today, she shares the best approaches for talking to children about a problem even adults

can't figure out. I'm Adrian Lee, guest hosting the Decibel from the Globe and Mail. Hey Amberlee, thanks for joining us. Adrian, happy to be here. So as a non-parent myself, talking to our children about sex and death borderline gives me hives. So I was surprised that you found that actually easier to talk about than climate change. Why is that?

Yeah, because it's not philosophical or theoretical. And unlike those questions and conversations, the climate change conversation, like those answers I know are going to make my child uneasy and uncomfortable. And you know, as a parent, like you never set out to worry your kids. I don't want her to think that the world is this scary, unsafe place and that some of it's, you know, on fire and that some families are fleeing their homes. Like, I just don't want her to know that.

But those other questions I think are relatively easy. That makes sense. I think climate change though is really something that they have to engage with all the time, right? It's always there. Yeah, absolutely. It's going to be part of her future. It's going to be part of her present.

And we're going to have to talk about it. So we should talk about climate change then. So how did you think about the issue before you had kids? So, I mean, I personally have always been concerned. I remember studying the ozone layer in the nineties, learning myself as a kid, all the things that we can do to save the planet. And that's never really left me. You know, I always try to make choices individually and vote in elections for people who I think

are going to do better for the planet than not. I mean, even the decision to have kids itself, that's been said to be one of the worst things you can do for the planet. But I also, when my husband and I were thinking about having kids, on the flip side, that if we don't have faith in the future, like what's truly the point? So our decision to have kids is sort of an act of climate hope itself.

Parenting in some ways is an act of hope, right? And now you have two daughters yourself. How has your relationship to the issue changed now that you have them? It's gotten worse. It makes my climate anxiety worse. I mean, as a mom, like I literally focus on the future every day.

You raise kids and you're always thinking about what lessons that you'll teach them or values that you'll instill so that they'll be good and balanced humans in the future. You know, are they gonna be generous and resilient and kind? And what can I do now to set them up for the future? My mom brain is always thinking about next week and next month, but also like way down the road, who are they gonna be and what world are they gonna live in?

So it's literally my job to focus on the future. So when the headlines are what they are, and when the trajectory that we're on is what it is, and no one in a leadership position appears to be doing the hard work, or is extremely concerned, we're just going on with our lives and consuming our fossil fuels

and driving with our Big Macs. It's a scary place to be as a mom, and I honestly think it's like a unique anxiety as a parent. Mm-hmm. And so as a parent, you are, you know, a guardian of their future, but you're also seeing how it's playing out on them right now. What effects do you see climate change

having on your kids already? I mean, it's here, right? Like, I think not only, like, the orange sky in June sky in June, but also air quality has been such a big one, even just this summer. The rising temperatures, we're just barely into summer, and it's already often too hot to be outside with my little kids. They have not been to their soccer games in weeks. It's too hot for me to stand outside. It's too hot for me to stand outside,

it's too hot for them to run outside. And I just think like, what? This is supposed to be a glorious summer chapter. And we're just indoors way too much already. So, when your daughter asked you about the wildfire smoke-filled sky, this unavoidable thing that's right in front of you, what did you feel in that moment? You know what? To be honest, in that moment, I don't think I handled it well. In retrospect, there's a lot of pressure in these moments, you know, where your kids ask you this really important question and you think, oh God, now I'm lying to her and I never want to lie to her.

And there's this pressure to get it right. And just honestly, like I think I did her a disservice in that moment by just avoiding the question, even though she's five. I imagine there's some tension inside of you there as the parent because there's this instinct to want to be seen as perfect and infallible to your child but in some moments that's just not possible right? It's just not it. I mean I if I could do that moment again what would I say differently and now you know through my research I've come up with some better alternatives but I just hope she doesn't remember me saying orange, orange, orange.

What rhymes with orange? Because I never want her to think that, you know, I'm that meme of like the dog in the house that's on fire. And I'm like, Hey, this is fine. Let's play a fun rhyming game. Like I do think that I failed her a little bit there. Did you feel like you panicked in that moment? Yeah, absolutely. So did you ever consider just leaving it at that? Not explaining it to her? I mean, it feels more natural, maybe safer, certainly easier to want to shield kids from scary or painful things to let kids be kids, right? Certainly easier, but I also think sometimes the easy route isn't the right one. And as a matter of principle, I just tend not to lie to my kids on the things that really

matter. Sure, sometimes the playground is just suddenly closed. Who can say why? But for the things that matter, I try to meet them with genuine honesty, even if it's hard. Unfortunately, the truth is that it's not good news. But what I learned is that preparing them at an age-appropriate level can be key to creating the next generation who will hopefully do better than us for the planet. I think there'll be parents that would say, you know, isn't there enough to worry about already as kids and parents?

Why are we adding more things for them to worry about or even explaining things? Sure. Why are we adding more things for them to worry about or even explaining things? Sure, but what else matters, I would say, if we have no world to live in or maybe less dramatically no place that's hospitable. Why does anything else matter? Like no issue. Like I heard it said once a long time ago that climate change is the only issue, but it seems like more recently there's so many other issues to worry about that like saving the actual world that we live in has not been so important.

We'll be right back. Okay, so let's get into the how of how parents can approach having the climate change talk with their kids. It seems like there are kind of two conversations in one here, the informational one and the emotional one. And let's start with how exactly parents can explain something as complex as climate change to young children. So I spoke with Bridget Shervell, who's an American journalist, and she wrote a book

called Parenting in a Climate Crisis, a Handbook for Turning Fear into Action. So that all seemed very relevant. And I learned a lot about what kids can handle and how to speak to them about the crisis that's here and happening now, but also truly going to be worse for them as adults. She told me that age really matters and you really just wanna follow your kid's lead. But for kids under five, you really wanna get them interested in nature is most important.

In her book, there's an example of picking berries off a bush, which I really liked. You can take your kid, pick berries, but underline why it's important to leave some. You know, we don't take them all. We leave some to grow for next year and we don't wanna hurt the bush. We wanna take what we need,

but also leave some for the animals that use the bush's food too. Just that sort of basic idea that we're sharing a planet with other living things. So is there a sense that there's an age that's too young to be bringing this up? Yeah, so there's a child psychologist named Abigail Goertz and she wrote a book called When the World Feels Like a Scary Place. She says that children, you know, at this age can't really handle ideas in the abstract, you know, when they're really young.

The words climate change aren't really going to mean a dang thing to a four-year-old. So you wanna be as literal as possible. You know, not everything outside can hurt you, but if the air is unclean, then we need to wear a mask because of the air. If you're explaining something like a wildfire, you can use an example of a chimney

and how the smoke in our house goes up the chimney. But sometimes big fires mean the planet's chimney isn't working as it should and we need to wear a mask. Trevor Burrus And then when it comes to the emotional element of this conversation, how do you talk to kids about it without overwhelming or scaring them? Jennifer Sink Well, one thing that really stuck out to me in writing this piece is the idea that the more agency you give kids, the better.

Again, the author of The Parenting in a Climate Crisis, author Bridget Shervell said, you know, for kids age five to 12, that's when we can really start to show them that the choices you make matter. So we talk about why we turn off the lights when we leave a room, or why we pick up garbage from the beach, or, you know, she gave this great example of when she goes to a grocery store, she like challenges her son to find applesauce in a package that doesn't hurt the planet.

You know, and that can make it practical and not overly scary and not something that's going to overwhelm them. We're just making it accessible and something that they can do. So we have a problem that's human caused, but also hopefully human remedied. And a lot of this advice is really targeting young kids for the most part. Did any of them talk about what parents of older kids and teens should do when it comes to talking about these topics? Well, Bridget said that, you know, when kids are teenagers, that's when you expect them to be angry, frankly. And what you can do is validate their anger and say, you know,

this is a thing worth getting angry about. Like we're not in a good place. A recent survey that I was reading from my research found that 56% of young people across Canada have climate mental health issues. They felt afraid, sad, anxious, and powerless about climate change. So, her advice is to listen to them and validate their feelings. But also, she told me that she had a lot of hope in talking to kids this age. She said that there was a group of I think like 12 high schools in her area that got together to host

their own climate change conference. They've all felt like adults aren't doing anything about this so we have to. And she took her six year old because she thought it would inspire him. It does feel like a lot of what you're talking about here is about giving kids a real sense of agency, right? Absolutely.

On the other hand though, does that risk creating a bit of false hope on their part? That individual choices after all are not necessarily going to solve the problems posed by climate change. So what can they do about it? You know, like that's the part that's like really depressing and heavy for me to think about if I'm being honest. Like, yes, we want to teach our kids that every little bit matters. But truly, in order to right this ship, we need systemic changes.

And again, we need to vote for leaders who will make those hard choices. We need to make that like a thing that people want to see in elections. I don't want to tell my kid that what they're doing doesn't matter and I do want it to make it accessible but that is like the terrible ugly truth that it is human remedied but we need to do it on a large scale that's just like so infuriating for me as a parent. Yeah, so there's a lot to think about for parents there in terms of how they're going to talk to their kids, but like you say, parents are also thinking about these issues themselves and in some cases despairing. How do you manage your

own emotions in talking to your kids? How did you not download maybe your anxieties about the issue to your daughters? So one mom that I spoke with for the piece, Mia Gordon in Squamish, BC, she was really inspirational because she wasn't even talking about like an orange sky. She was talking about a wildfire like encroaching on their home. And she has a three year old and she actually works for the Weather Network. So she talks about climate change all the time, but then it actually entered her personal life

very quickly and suddenly. And she said she just refused to be doom and gloom for her three-year-old, but she had this balance, which I thought was really great. So she took him outside and they watched the water bombers, basically that idea of look for the helpers, but only it's a three year old watching water bomber. So that's kind of exciting. And also like cheering for them and, and making that conversation like a look how we're helping, which to me, I guess is what you want to the seed you want to sow in your kid.

Yeah. Looking for the helpers. That's what we're talking about here, right? We're talking about values. We're talking about lessons that are bigger takeaways, right? That's kind of why we're having these conversations in the first place. Yeah, absolutely. So other than trying to pass on values and extend agency to kids, are there other things that parents should try to foster with them? So I think resiliency and adaptability in our kids right now is more important than

ever. Dr. Becky, do you know Dr. Becky, Adrian? No. What? As a childless person? So she's a brilliant resource on the internet for basically any kid issue. And she talks a lot about resiliency and sort of getting kids comfortable with the space between not knowing and knowing, or wanting something to go one way and not, you know,

like the disappointment or the frustration. So she sort of teaches that frustration is a great thing because it's the space where learning happens. So I always try to lean into this with my kids. Like I try not to just fix their problems because they're going to inherit a bunch of problems. You know, silly things like this morning my kid struggling to tie her own shoes. I could have done it really quickly and got her out the door. But I was like, hey, here's the fun frustration part.

You know, like I try to teach her that it's like, this is where your brain is growing and it's getting bigger and bigger. So you sort of learn how to deal with the frustration or how to cope when expectations change. You know, so we can be uncomfortable and not know how to tackle a thing, but I think that's the key

to like building a resilient little kid. Okay, so then when you did decide to talk to your daughter about climate change, how did that conversation go? It was kind of sad. Are you ready for the sad story? So I started to talk to her using one of the examples that I was given about blankets, that if you put on too many blankets, you get too warm.

And so the planet needs a blanket, but it doesn't need seven. And I said that the planet is getting too hot right now with all of these blankets. And she immediately asked for her notepad, which is like extremely, extremely like mom. She's like, I got to get my notepad out. And then she said, Mom, how do do you spell I wish you could feel better. She wanted to write a letter to the planet I guess I think she's probably written a letter to like a sick kid in her classroom so she wanted to write a letter to the planet that said I wish you could feel better which just broke my heart but then I use

that that sentiment that she had that she wishes the planet could feel better. And I said, here's the good news. Like, we can make the planet feel better and humans can if we work hard enough. And I shifted to explaining all the things that our family does to make the planet feel a little better. You know, we drive an electric car and we don't eat meat and we pick up garbage from a park, which is something now I cannot get her to stop doing. Her hands are always filled with park garbage. But to be honest, I never really told her about why the sky was orange and I never told

her about the fires because I think that would cause a lot of anxiety. But I did tell her about the ways we can help the planet feel better and it's small and incremental but she's doing it and it makes me proud. Amberlee, thank you so much for sharing all this with us. Hey, thanks for having me. That was Amberlee McAteer, a contributing columnist for The Globe. That's it for today. I'm Adrian Lee.

The Decibel is produced by Madeleine White, Michal Stein, and Ali Graham. David Crosby edits the show, Adrian Chung is our senior producer, and Angela Pacenza is our executive editor. Thanks for listening.