The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett - How She Built Her Confidence, and Then an Empire with Krissy Cela

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

Parts of this episode made me feel uncomfortable, it may make you feel the same, but trust me, you need to hear this. This week I sat down with Krissy Cela, this was such a brave, truthful conversatio...n. From being an immigrant, bullied on the school playground to becoming a multi-millionaire entrepreneur, author and one of the UK’s most recognised fitness trainers. Krissy shared the highs, but also the lows of being an entrepreneur that most won’t speak about. She's now the CEO of a business valued at almost £100m. This is the raw, unfiltered truth of Krissy Cela. Krissy's book - https://amzn.eu/d/gc8OHM9 Follow me: https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Quick one. Just wanted to say a big thank you to three people very quickly. First people I want to say thank you to is all of you that listen to the show. Never in my wildest dreams is all I can say. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd start a podcast in my kitchen and that it would expand all over the world as it has done. And we've now opened our first studio in America, thanks to my very helpful team led by Jack on the production side of things. So thank you to Jack and the team for building out the new American studio. And thirdly to to Amazon Music, who, when they heard that we were expanding to the United States and I'd be recording a lot more over in the States, they put a massive billboard in Times Square for the show. So thank you so much, Amazon Music. Thank you to our team. And
Starting point is 00:00:37 thank you to all of you that listened to this show. Let's continue. Honesty really, really matters. And I think much of the reason why I started this podcast was to give the world the much needed honesty it needs, but often doesn't get. You hear success stories that are glamorized and that are oversimplified, but that's rarely, rarely the case. This week's guest will give you exactly that. Raw, unfiltered honesty, like you've never heard it before. And in some points, honesty that might make you a little bit uncomfortable. It made her uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable. This week I'm joined by Chrissy Chella. She's an unbelievable, and in my opinion, heavily underrated entrepreneur running
Starting point is 00:01:17 multiple multi-million pound businesses. She's one of the UK's number one fitness creators, athletes, whatever you want to call her. She's an author. Her book is coming out in January. She has a remarkable story. One that starts from very, very humble beginnings as an immigrant that was bullied on the playground in the UK. And what you'll find out about her is inspiring.
Starting point is 00:01:40 It's captivating. It's real. One of the most amazing conversations I've ever had on this podcast. And I'm so glad that we can bring you her story in this way told with total honesty. Without further ado, I'm Stephen Bartlett, and this is the Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody is listening. But if you are, then please keep this to yourself. As I did a little bit of research on you, and I got to sort of uncover your story, and I got to stalk you a little bit on social media, the more and more that I observed and sort of looked past your Instagram feed, the more I saw a pretty remarkable entrepreneur and business person. And one of the thoughts that came to my mind, and you know, this podcast is all about speaking your truth and being honest, was this question, which is, do you think that you get the credit you
Starting point is 00:02:39 deserve? As an entrepreneur? That's the question. It's not about me I haven't built a community about me I've built a community about helping other women and I think that it's never fully been about me and the credit that I get is seeing other women thrive and succeed and come together and that for me is enough credit I don't need an award I don't need someone to say oh my god you're the best businesswoman in the world for me when I see or when I read another woman's story that for me is enough I don't need anything else so yeah I do so because I was when I was watching some of your stories on Instagram and you you run an office right of people you run multiple businesses right and I typically think that people are very very quick to arrive at judgment when they see a pretty young
Starting point is 00:03:40 lady who's worked out on Instagram who has a big following and they and this is just being completely honest they tend to come to judgments very quickly a conclusion a conclusion yeah and that that conclusion and that narrative or that image that they form of that person I've come to learn is usually severely wrong 100% it is and you know it's funny you say that because I've also been on multiple dates with people and you know they see my Instagram following and they automatically assume that oh it's because you get your ass out that's that's that's why you make money or it's because you get your ass out that's why you've built what you've built and the truth is if I did that and if that was the fundamental reason then I wouldn't have a team of 30 people in one company and building another
Starting point is 00:04:26 company that sells out every time we restock it goes past being a pretty face or a pretty picture it goes past being a nice body it's about the message that you have it's about what you want to truly truly put out in the world and I think if people make that conclusion, it says more about them than it does to me. How does it make you feel though? And I want you to be really honest here. How does it make you feel? I think, okay, I'm going to be completely honest. I think it's one thing to be judged and it's another thing to be judged as a woman. Okay. So why is it that when you see a handsome man, you don't come to a conclusion that he only got what he got because he's handsome why is it as a woman i have to justify myself more
Starting point is 00:05:12 i have to explain myself more all the time it's draining i shouldn't have to explain myself my face my body all of this stuff it's just external you know and I think that can I swear on this I swear on my youtube all the time some people get offended I'm like listen this is this is who I am something else yeah no it pisses me off it pisses me off but at the same time it's like it feeds me right you know it feeds me like piss me off even more because that's how I thrive. You saying to me, I can't do something. You saying to me that I only got there
Starting point is 00:05:52 because of this and that. It pushes me more to achieve more. And yeah, I mean, it's their problem, not mine, I guess. There's a lot of, you know, let's just for a second, imagine that that judgment of you was correct and that you'd got here because you were pretty or whatever, or you're, you know, you have a great physique or whatever it was. Um, what would they be missing? What is the truth? Why, why did you get here? Because there are lots of very pretty people out there, right? Yeah. Um. But for some reason you made it here and
Starting point is 00:06:25 I've seen your businesses. I've looked into them. You have pretty phenomenal businesses and you're running big teams of people in big offices. So like there's two kind of thoughts to this, but I think the central question that I'm trying to get an answer for myself is what is it about Chrissy that differentiated you, your approach, your message, and the way that you connect with people from all of these other people that are trying to do what you're doing? I think in all honesty,
Starting point is 00:06:53 if I'm answering that question from a personal perspective, I've always been 100% honest and transparent with who I am. You're not going to find a hidden secret or some nasty surprise. This is who I am you literally either take it or you leave it and I'm not going to try and be anything else to fit in for anybody else you know and for me when I started my fitness journey when I you know moved countries to England I never felt like I had countries to England, I never felt like I
Starting point is 00:07:25 had a sense of home. I never felt like anybody understood me. So to be blessed with a platform where I can build a community and bring women together globally, you know, this is, this goes beyond me. This is about bringing women together that have been abused, that have had, you know, mental disorders disorders eating disorders such bad things you couldn't even imagine what women have gone through and have told me to bring them all together and to create this tribe you know that for me is like I think that's what people see yeah and I think that's what people believe I want to do because I genuinely do want to do that and you know one of the things that sorry to interrupt there but I really wanted to one of the things you said was about you being yourself and I asked you that question actually
Starting point is 00:08:17 with a bit of um preconceived idea of what the answer would be and when I watch you on Instagram the feel that I get from you versus pretty much everybody else other than one other person I've got to be honest and he's sat in this chair and he's actually coming back is Joe Wicks like when I met Joe Wicks he is the guy you meet off off off air or whatever is the same guy and he's so fucking genuine and all he cares about is like genuinely helping people but the reason I said to Joe I said I think the reason you're so successful is because you are yourself and you will share it all and when I was watching you on Instagram and watching some of your videos you cater to the 99% of people's lives which is the real shit yeah I saw your video this week you did on your story
Starting point is 00:09:00 you waking up and you're saying listen I don't want to wake up today and most people don't admit that because you know a lack of perfection is sometimes perceived as weakness so I wondered how that resonated with you in terms of the importance of your success originating from Chrissy being her truest self yeah you're you can only be the best version of yourself right and I think if you start trying to be something else soon enough, it will come out or you'll start to fall through the cracks or it will slip. Something will slip and you can only uphold that image and you know, that presence for so long before it really just fucks up. So the only thing you can do is be the best version of yourself. And this is what I tell people all the time.
Starting point is 00:09:43 It's never been about other people's perceptions of you it's always been what you think about yourself and if you truly truly believe in yourself you won't want to be anybody else you want to you won't want to be fake you wouldn't want to be trying to please everyone my job isn't to please everyone were you always at that point no tell me about that oh my god no i mean i remember when i was in a relationship i was 16 years old i was like i'm gonna marry this person so in love like this is it uh and then he cheated on me and i was like oh shit this is not it what's his name no he does not deserve the airtime i'll tell you that much but I was heartbroken and I was trying so hard to please
Starting point is 00:10:28 this person you know I was trying so hard even in school I know it sounds petty but I was trying so hard to fit in all the time all the time I remember like this is so this is not cute on my end I'm gonna be honest with you I remember being at school and I'm foreign okay like I'm Mediterranean we're hairy okay and I had a no I had a mustache and the girls used to rip me for it and I was so sad I was like oh my god why am I not like these pretty English girls like I don't understand like I used to feel so shitty about myself constantly trying to like fit in and then when I got cheated on I was like oh my god it must be because I'm not pretty enough it must be because I'm not sexy enough fuck that that's draining what do you mean I constantly have to be something else for someone else I'm never going to be happy
Starting point is 00:11:20 and I wasn't happy for such a long time so yeah I just I just fully like exposed my moustache story there that's fine so let's take us from moustache to self-confidence um what was that journey and what what changed your uh your your self-esteem and your self-confidence what helped you get that confidence in yourself I think for me it was can we just i think that should be the podcast title master no no seriously even sarah doesn't know that i used to have a no guys i'm gonna be honest with you okay like i don't give a fuck i had a mustache growing up okay and all the girls used to rip me the fuck up they used used to be like, your man, your boy. Like, honestly, bitchy shit, man.
Starting point is 00:12:08 And I ate my school dinner for six months in a toilet because I didn't have any friends. Do you think that experience is part of the reason you are who you are today? 100%. Like, honestly, it's pretty impossible to break me. And when you've broken me understand that you've really like broken me down because it takes a lot now was that we talk about the mustache mustache thing as if it was this sort of trivial thing but i'm guessing what you're saying is you
Starting point is 00:12:37 were bullied in school yeah but at the same time it's not like i was constantly bullied like i think i don't know a lot of us go through awkward stages in school, trying to make friends, trying to be with a cool gang, trying to do this, trying to do that. Then you almost become like mean as well because you're so hurt by everybody else that you only, yeah. So I think, you know, like I remember walking into sixth form one time
Starting point is 00:13:03 and a lot of personal things happened in my life and no one wanted to be around me at that point and I just hated everyone around me and I was full of anger constant anger and hate you know and I didn't want to be that person anymore especially after being cheated on I didn't want to be that person anymore and I remember being on the train one day because I used to work in Potter's Bar at the time um in this little men's boutique like retail shop and I was coming back home and I remember like the penny dropped and I was like I can try so hard to be sexy and cool and all this stuff, other people, but I'm not doing anything for myself. And that's where the quote, do this for you comes from. Because I signed up to the gym that day.
Starting point is 00:13:53 And then I walked straight back out and didn't go back for two months. I'm not going to be, I'm not going to lie to you. I signed up and I was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I know what to do. Signed up, didn't come back for two months. I was like, fuck that shit. I ain't going back. I don't know what to do signed up didn't come back for two months I was like fuck that shit I ain't going back I don't know what to do why didn't you go because I was scared I was like who I was like who do you who do you think you are Chrissy trying to be like a fitness girl you don't know what you're doing you know this was like six years ago you don't know what you're doing go back home relax all right relax chill go to work study relax at some point you must have changed your mind yeah I did I did and evidently I did and I was like uh okay no I need to do this
Starting point is 00:14:33 like what am I doing I'm so lethargic I'm tired all the time I'm not strong I was never like um overweight or underweight I was just tired all the time and drained especially mentally so when I got into the gym I remember looking at the leg press machine and I was like what is this transformer I don't know what the fuck to do with this machine and everybody else around me seemed to kind of know what to do and then there was like men there and the women were on the cardio machines and the men were at the weights I didn't care about the cardio machine. I was so intrigued by the weights. I was like, why do men go there? What is it about men that go there and women go there? I want to go there. And I didn't know how to use weights. I didn't know what I was doing. I was training.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I didn't have anything like no one was on Instagram at the time no one was teaching the way social media has literally opened up a book full of information and free content and we didn't I didn't have that at the time I started you know I didn't know what I was doing so how did you I learned you learned I just learned I just was like you know what I'm just going to do this and I kind of I kind of got addicted to the feeling of how completing a workout made me feel and I started going again and again and I started learning because what was it doing for you going it was giving me my therapy therapy from what from life from my reality from the fact that I was so depressed with who I was and so angry at the world and everything the world had done to me and the only time I felt like I could escape was at the gym which is so crazy because the gym is like a chore for people. I've got to
Starting point is 00:16:26 fucking train today. But I went there and I escaped. It was therapy and no one could take that feeling away from me. Not an ex-boyfriend that cheated on me, not a mean girl at school, not a horrible boss, no one. Isn't it funny that so much of you know when you speak to people that have achieved great things it all seems to have been sparked by like an earlier catalyst of being bullied or feeling insecure or inadequate in some way i see the same in myself the reason why i am successful without a shadow of a doubt is because the feeling of being broke and being inadequate in the area that I lived in and having all the windows on my house smashed for a decade and the grass being six foot high and but living in all of these around all of these white people
Starting point is 00:17:15 zero black people at my school other than my brother and my other brother that feeling of inadequacy put pressure on me for like 15 16 years and so my obsession as I wrote in my diary at 18 was I'm gonna have a million pounds before I'm 25 I'm gonna have a Range Rover's gonna be my first car right couldn't even drive yeah it's so funny I did the same right I swear and it's so funny you say it was the only black man in your school because I was the only foreign guy on mine I was trying to contend with this whole idea of having curly hair. I was like, I started relaxing it when I was 12 so it'd be straight. And I look back and I think,
Starting point is 00:17:50 if I hadn't have gone through that in the way that I had- You wouldn't be where you are today. Not a fucking shadow of a doubt. And it's like that pressure releases at some point. 100%. In different ways. I could have ended up in prison.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Yeah. My best friend said to me at 18, he said, Steve, and I remember where I stood when he said it, he said, you're either going to be a millionaire or you're going to be in prison and it hit me like a ton of bricks because he was telling the truth I cared so much about escaping from that pressure and from that life that it was going to channel itself into something so tell me about your diary what did you write in your diary oh god I remember it's so funny. I remember. It's so funny, right? I remember I wrote down and I will never ever forget. I wrote down, I'm going to be someone one day. I wrote, I wrote that down. And then
Starting point is 00:18:33 I remember you have blackberries. Yeah. All right. Back in the day. And I used to write in my blackberry and I just believed it. And anyway anyway when I went to the gym and kind of figured it out along the way um I fell in love with someone at the gym like I was going he's now my ex-fiancee by the way everyone we're no longer together but he is a very important person in this story because when I met him I was at rock bottom but I was also trying to find my feet and I was becoming more confident in myself and that confidence confidence did grow and attract the person that I was supposed to be with at the time right because I do believe your your vibe and energy attract the people that you have around you, right? And I remember he was driving me to work one day
Starting point is 00:19:30 because I was waitressing. And I looked at him and I said, I don't know why I started Instagram at this point, had like 50,000 followers. I started Instagram, in all honesty, I started it just to see how i look doing exercises and hollywood record me and i was like oh my god look i'm gonna break my back i don't know what i'm doing i need to fix my form but somehow people started loving it and anyway he was driving me to work and i go
Starting point is 00:19:57 jack i don't know why but i feel like we're gonna achieve something by helping women do you know what he said to me he goes yeah whatever man you get to work I'll come pick you up I was like no I feel it and I started crying crying streams of tears he's like what's wrong with you I was like no I believe it I don't know what it is it's this this feeling I can't explain. Never had that feeling before. And here we are today. What do you think that feeling was? Belief. Where did that belief come from? Me. I just believed in me so much that no one, not even, you know, the person I was with could sway me another way. And I do think a lot of that comes from
Starting point is 00:20:46 persevering in the gym and growing that discipline and growing evidence right yeah you could right yeah because when you're when you start doing something good for yourself training was good for me right you start to build these disciplines and habits and consistencies and they transfer in other aspects of your life it's like a domino effect yeah so I started becoming more disciplined at university I didn't need 10 cans of red bull to stay awake I was focused um I would excel all the time and it wasn't because I put in extra hours it was because I was so hyper focused where I was with who I was I was present and if it wasn't for the gym I wouldn't be able to have done that so your ex-fiancee yeah Jack do you think you would have met him had you not built the confidence
Starting point is 00:21:43 within yourself or started to build the confidence within yourself that the gym had given you do you think you would have been ready quote unquote to have that relationship with him at that time if you were the old Chrissy no um and if I did if I was with someone at the time I wasn't so confident it would have been the wrong person because you attract the energy that you have you attract what you believe in yourself if you're constantly negative about yourself if you're constantly just trying to make yourself believe you're you're just not worthy you're always going to attract that and don't get me wrong there was like dates in between jack obviously when i wasn't with him by the way, I mean, no,
Starting point is 00:22:26 I mean like after the guy that cheated on me, I had like, I went for a phase, I went through dating and it's always the wrong guy. It was the wrong guy. And then it was, I realized it's because I'm trying to find happiness in other people. Constantly trying to find happiness in other people.
Starting point is 00:22:41 And then when I started focusing on myself, he came along you know a lot of women when they're in this situation where they're lacking confidence or self-worth or they're feeling like something is missing well and this isn't just women this is men as well yeah right they'll think that the answer is a romantic solution yeah right is it no it's not um I've been there I've done that and obviously I'm speaking from personal experience you could find someone that really helps you you know you could genuinely find someone who inspires you motivates you pushes you and that's so remarkable and if you do find that person don't let them go you know but unfortunately if you have so much self-hatred you are never going to be satisfied in the relationship that you are in because
Starting point is 00:23:32 you constantly have to find that person to give you that happiness you're constantly waiting for that person to do something for you it's unstable right it's like it's unstable it is a lot of dependency and um i think that the most relate most important relationship you're ever going to have is going to be with yourself. Cause when you go to bed at night and you're in your own little thoughts up here, right? That's you and you, that's you and you. So you've got to fix that up here first before you go trying to find a person to share your life with you know and you know so you end up you know jack ends up proposing yeah uh you you build a
Starting point is 00:24:14 business together which is a topic in and of itself which you're you're still working together with him on now yeah and then at some point you both decide decide in a very, you know, I've listened to your story. So you decide in a very amicable, mature way that this situation isn't making both of you right, happy. And there was a sentence you said where you said, you and Jack grew apart, which I found quite curious. And I find it curious because on this podcast, we've been talking a lot about monogamy for whatever reason and this idea and in fact the last guest we had on dr aria who was you know who people have been really really blown away about um he he was cheated on by his partner you know and he found out in a really horrific way
Starting point is 00:24:54 that she was pregnant with another man's baby yeah i listened to that okay and so on that sentence about growing apart this makes me ask you the same question about monogamy if it's possible for you to meet someone and grow apart you know especially you know because everybody's growing in some way um what are your thoughts on monogamy having been almost to the altar with someone what are your thoughts on monogamy and i can i be honest i mean please you never have to ask permission again to be honest I've never said this ever and I'm a little bit nervous to say this but I when I was with Jack I thought that that was my person and I genuinely felt it in my heart in my soul I never questioned it once right and we grew apart and that's because a lot of people don't know
Starting point is 00:25:47 what was going on behind the scenes last year when i launched tonal scott with jack we had a lawsuit against us you know no one really knew about that you know 50 grand in law in lawsuits trying to get our app that we we built just to be ours and then build it from the ground up that's why we had to refurbish and relaunch the programs because everything is now built homegrown in our offices with our technology right and do you know how much pressure that adds to a relationship i can't imagine and you're going home and you're like what do you mean you didn't do this what do you mean you didn't do that hating each do you mean you didn't do that? Hating each other, resenting each other because you think they're to blame. He thinks you're to blame. I think he's to blame, right? And it's going to take a very, very special person to fit into the shoes that Jack left. You know, he is such an incredible man in every aspect, works hard, is caring, is loving,
Starting point is 00:26:48 is ambitious, is everything a woman would want in a man. Unfortunately, we grew apart. And it is unfortunate because I genuinely loved him and still do love him unconditionally. I'd give him my kidney if he needed it and it would take someone very very special and confident to fill that space up and i'm not gonna hold my breath does that make sense i'm not gonna hold my breath i'm gonna you know let's just see where it goes you think it's possible um i think it's possible i think anything's possible i just see where it goes. Do you think it's possible? I think it's possible. I think anything's possible. I just think that it's going to take someone
Starting point is 00:27:30 with a hell of a lot of confidence and someone that understands that I don't need anything else but effort and time from them. I don't need your money. I don't need your gifts. I don't need... So you're saying you think that Jack's shoes will be difficult to fill and it's almost like you're setting his shoes as the
Starting point is 00:27:52 standard of what you're looking for in the future so it kind of begs the question well you've got two feet that fit those shoes perfectly Jack's so why isn't he filling those shoes i think if anyone turns around and says to you that i work with my partner and we run a company of 30 people and hundreds and thousands of subscribers and you know an ever-growing company and we're so in love i i really actually will look at them and be like how how did you make that happen? Working and being romantically involved with someone is difficult because let me tell you something. When you come home from work, you're coming home from work with the same person. What do you think you're going to speak about when you get home?
Starting point is 00:28:43 Work. What do you think you're going to speak about when you get home? Work. What do you think you're going to speak about? Um, after you have sex, work, the work. I'm being honest. Like you'll, you live and you breathe your company.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Jack is an entrepreneur in himself. Jack is a co-founder. Jack built this with me. Right. Yeah. So if I'm going through all those things as an entrepreneur, as a co-founder. Jack built this with me, right? Yeah. So if I'm going through all those things as an entrepreneur, as a co-founder, he is as well.
Starting point is 00:29:09 I don't know if you're answering the question, Chrissy. But I am answering the question. It doesn't work. It doesn't work because you work together. Yes, it doesn't work. It would have probably worked. Isn't that a shame? When I first met Jack, I have never felt that way about someone
Starting point is 00:29:28 before and I never once questioned our relationship or I never once questioned whether I didn't want to be with this person and it's funny because when we hire new people at Tone and Scope they obviously know mine and Jack's relationship and a lot of employees tend to get a bit nervous they're like are the co-founders going to be bitter are they going to be nasty to one another and you know what they always say it's insane how much respect and love they have for one another it's actually a bit worrying how much respect and love we have for one another and had we not had tone and sculpt we would have 100% been married by now, probably expecting a first child. Is Jack in a relationship?
Starting point is 00:30:08 I don't know. We don't speak about stuff like that. I don't know if he's in a relationship. Okay, so here's another thing. Jack's made it pretty clear. He's been like, I don't know who I'm going to find that's like you. And you've said the same to me today.
Starting point is 00:30:24 And I've said the same to me today. And I've said the same thing about him. And another thing is I've been with him for five years, right? I was with him for five years. I still work with him. In a normal situation, you break up and you go separate ways. You don't speak. You don't see unless you're stalking each other, which I would because I'm a weirdo.
Starting point is 00:30:49 So I'd stalk you for a bit until I got over you but what I'm saying is I see him every day so it's like how can I ever forget about you you're always there I speak to you every day I'm on the phone to you every day we make executive decisions together every day I still go to you for advice every day but why is I don't look at you and want to kiss you right do you no I don't I don't I don't not not not right now anyway but I don't to be in a relationship you have to have that flair come on you have to have that spark that you you make you feel some type of way and I know over time it will pass and whatever but it sounds so weird but I see him almost like a best friend but then everyone always tells you to marry your best friend so maybe have I got relationships all wrong right so I don't know I don't know but all I'm saying is the person that I'm with and next with or
Starting point is 00:31:53 whatever they don't necessarily have like they're not competing because that's horrible you don't want to compete kind of somewhat unavoidable though especially in chrissy's brain but at the same time it's like jack was is the most genuine person like would always take care of me always listen always put me first would always want me to to succeed to it was every check check check check check but why are we not together i don't i me myself i still don't have a a fundamental reason as to why you know i read the comments and people were like of course you would leave jack now she's got like millions of followers and has got money of course she was she's gonna go marry a rich arab man i was like what you clearly don't know me you clearly don't know me but um i don't have a rich
Starting point is 00:32:54 arab man as a boyfriend by the way i just want to clear that up but i don't know if jack's dating i don't know what he's doing all i all i do know is that I want him to be so happy. Could you imagine life without him? Oh, no. Well, that question just took my breath away a bit. No, I couldn't. When he turned around tomorrow, he said, I'm leaving the business, I'm moving.
Starting point is 00:33:19 No, I'd be absolutely heartbroken. I'd be absolutely grieving. I'd be I'd be absolutely grieving I couldn't imagine life without Jack but then again don't they say the most important person in your life as a business owner is your business partner you almost speak special bond you almost speak to them more than you speak to the partner you go to bed with. But it's also, and the reason I asked that question is I remember asking myself that question about my business partner many years ago. And I remember asking, and I thought to myself, what if they died? And I, and it was like, well, then there's no point in me doing
Starting point is 00:33:59 this business anymore, which was a really weird thought I had. I thought, well, then they were such a fundamental part of the purpose and the journey and I it made me question you know why I'm actually doing this and I think with Jack I think it's probably true that um a huge part reason why you do this business is because of him you've been through so much together yeah I couldn't imagine doing it with someone else yeah but I also can imagine doing it without him and you've been through hell and back together with jack right yeah and that strengthens the relationship like you know so much been through so much with jack um you do five years with someone shit's gonna happen shit's gonna hit the fan is it is it a possibility to be back with him um like I've always said you can never say never and anything is possible however if Jack was to find someone right and say oh like Chrissy you know out of respect he
Starting point is 00:34:58 would have to sit me down because we work together and be like I'm with someone now and if I see that that girl is treating him so well and looking after him in all honesty that's all i hope would you be a little bit jealous probably i mean i'm not gonna lie probably would but and would you then why wouldn't you question the decision oh no i'm not the type of person that if if if i if i don't have you no one else can or do you know what i mean that's just weird but i mean you'd go home that day and start thinking oh i would go home and be like oh like damn you'd set reminders off like alarm bells would start going off i absolutely don't regret ending it i've learned more about myself in the
Starting point is 00:35:43 year and a half of parting ways with Jack than I did in five years of being with him. Facts. I don't regret ending it. Would I feel some type of way if he was with someone else? You'd be absolutely lying to yourself if you said no. Come on, mate. Like, we buddy was about to get married. We own a company together. Of course you'd feel some type of way, but would I be jealous? No. Would I be happy if he was happy? Hell yeah, I would because his happiness makes me happy. Is in the future a possibility of me being with him again? I don't know. How can you possibly answer that question when the possibility of me parting ways with him five years ago was not even a vision i can't answer that question but if he was to find someone and be truly happy and in love and she was a good egg i'd be happy and it's possible to be happy for someone but
Starting point is 00:36:37 also for it to suck at the same time 100 but that's only because you just feel some type of way but deep down you just want them to be happy. I think he will find someone. I think he's going to find someone who's really genuine. Why are you smiling? I wasn't smiling. You're smiling! No, I wasn't smiling.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Yeah, you are. I think you were smiling. I think you felt some type of way by saying that. No, I really do. I swear. Bloody hell, I've been honest enough now, till now, to lie. Yeah, he he does right when he does which he will i just want one thing from that girl if you're listening out there to jack's future wife i just don't want her to sway he's a mind on our business
Starting point is 00:37:21 does that make sense yeah oh leave ton and sculpt you don't need it anymore that's horrible like don't interfere don't need to get involved love all right oh look at you but it's true like i'm sorry but when i'm with a guy if he starts telling me what to do with my company or if he starts telling me or it's me or jack i'd be like yeah get a grip it's jack if you give me an ultimatum i don't want to be with you you know all this stuff so i was i was thinking about this earlier and i've got some friends i wouldn't call them necessarily friends but people that i know personally and they would hate because they're so insecure as men they would hate the idea of dating someone as self-made and successful as you and it's a certain type of insecure man i'm laughing because i already
Starting point is 00:38:14 know i've already been there really yeah certain type of insecure man that really is seeking to control that would would not like a chrissy because you can't be controlled you can't be controlled through gifts through x y and z and you've been there yeah i've been there i've done that like you know i remember one time go for it sarah's like yeah sarah's my ph she's like yeah open up but i remember one time when i was speaking to this guy you know after jack and i was going to a lathe this was one of the biggest photo shoots for tone and sculpt this was you know to refurbish the entire app and everything like brand new look brand new everything so much money went into this i think nearly 90 grand in production that's a lot of money shit ton of money shit ton of money with that yeah i mean i can put
Starting point is 00:39:11 down two mortgages for that yeah so as you can see like what but when we do things we do things right at tone and sculpt and that's facts um so i remember he sat down he was like i don't know i just feel a bit, you going? I was like, what do you mean? What do you think I'm going to do? Go and go, you know, go crazy with other men in LA. I'm going to work. Oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:39:35 I don't know. Really insecure. And I found myself thinking it was me. I was like, wait a minute. And then I sat back and I was like, no, that's you. You're insecure. That's a you're insecure that's a you problem that's not my problem I went LA had the best time ever with my team we had the most incredible time you know met the most incredible people came back most incredible campaign and I felt good but had I let that man sway me maybe I may have been a bit vulnerable at the time and let's say he did sway
Starting point is 00:40:09 me what if I changed my mind didn't go that could have happened was he intimidated by you and your success do you think at the beginning yeah 100% let's be honest I'm 20 oh my god 26 i was still 24 i'm 26 years old and you are killing the game i'll say it because i know you're too humble no i no no no no no no no no i said it's fine you say whatever you want but it's not even that it's you know when you're 26 years old and maybe you have a few things um people start to obviously feel a bit like you know I think it was people start to feel like they should have when you talk about your success I get awkward don't I you're super awkward and can I just say an observation and I think this is a society problem not you problem men aren't like that no they're not
Starting point is 00:41:05 coming up on here and saying how much money they're making and how much they're killing it how many x y and z they've achieved um you don't seem to be as comfortable talking about your success and I feel like that's a reflection of the society we live in honestly it's not even that it's me I'm very awkward with stuff like that like can I be honest I don't even check my bank accounts I let my account and deal with it I I really I don't I I think for me I stay so tunnel vision in the vision so I wake up in the morning the first thing I do is check my mentions and dms and go on my community pages in that forum that's literally the first thing I do and if I start thinking about how am I going to make a billion how am I going to do this I'm going to do that I don't know it becomes
Starting point is 00:41:50 a bit suffocating to the vision that you have um and I was really number driven at the beginning not financially but on Instagram followers and followers the more followers it means I'm amazing the more likes it means I'm amazing the more likes it means i'm fit enough to be here you know and i got so obsessed i used to almost like not think i was good enough unless i got a certain amount of likes or followers and i completely lost sight of why i'm doing what i'm doing you know now i don't even check the likes i get i don't even check the the my statistics my team do i don't check it because I don't care what I care about is that comment that a lady saying to me oh my god this has helped me so much this has made me
Starting point is 00:42:33 so confident that feeds my energy if I start thinking how am I going to get 100 million how am I going to use that will come I'm confident it will come but it's not my fundamental you know and it's going to come by you focusing on something else yeah i'm focused on something else and it's not that society has made me feel uncomfortable to talk about my success it's that i've you can speak to any of my team like i just don't care about it can i be be honest with you? Like I am not thriving to, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not thriving to have the biggest house or the fanciest car.
Starting point is 00:43:14 I mean, I even said to you, like, I don't have a fancy car, a fancy house, by the way. And you were like, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:43:21 You know, like I don't really care about stuff like that. I never, I never have been like that and it's not that I'm trying to be humble it's like I literally don't give a shit I don't care about a fancy car never have done on the things that you do care about you talked about these comments and these dms you get um I imagine you know because I get a couple dms as well you get a lot not a couple you get a lot and uh how how does it feel to have that sort of responsibility when someone messages you something so deeply personal and
Starting point is 00:43:53 they're seeking advice or guidance or they're just sharing a problem with you how does that feel in terms of well how does it make you feel um when someone messages sometimes because you don't want to say because i'm not qualified to deal with certain situations but at the same time the contradiction with me is like you're giving that advice something yeah and i just want to acknowledge the person but i know i can't so and it would be almost irresponsible for me to try and solve their problem 100 you're not there to fix someone's problem yeah but but i think the value that i can bring is just by like listening and acknowledging but you know there's a spectrum right so you have on one end i love what you do and the other end you have people that are suicidal
Starting point is 00:44:33 or that are you know and um it's it sometimes it's a lot i had this one video go viral 30 million views and it was about depression and i got 8 000 dms that week from people on that spectrum and I just didn't know what to do I was like because when you read them some people are really really suffering and they've come to me because clearly in some cases one girl that said she'd barricaded herself in a room in Egypt and she was on the verge of suicide like she didn't feel like she could speak to anyone else and sometimes a stranger yeah stranger is the most safe place to, you know, how does it feel for you? That has kind of made me emotional.
Starting point is 00:45:10 No, it did. The fact that I remembered that instantly, this girl barricaded in a room in Egypt who had watched this video and had reached out to me for me to give her the answer she's looking for in her life, which I'm not qualified to give, right? All I can do is be a friend in that, in that situation. Um, but, but I'm sure you get messages that are, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:30 yeah, I get, um, messages every day, thousands. And, um, so there's two things that I've started to do. One of the biggest teams we have at tone and sculpt is the customer support team right and by the way this isn't because we get influxes of emails it's because we have a person for each social facebook community manager instagram all of this stuff and the reason being is we don't need them it's because i want every single person to be heard. And what you just said there is exactly what I think as well. You want to be a friend. I call my community familia. I always use that word. I always say, you're my sisters, you're my familia. Because at the end of the day, I'm not here to fix your problems, but I'm here to listen to your problems. I'm here to be the friend that you may think you don't have in your your reality you can't fix
Starting point is 00:46:26 someone's problems you can't offer you know mental health advice because if you say something wrong god forbid anything happened but you can listen you can make feel make someone feel like they're part of something and that's the best thing I can do you know before you came here today there was a question I actually wanted to ask you about i only ask questions because i am curious myself sure and i'm trying to find i think the reason i ask these questions is i'm trying to find similarities in some way between a you know a person on your journey and a person on mine the question is are you hard to date um oh shit yeah i think so i think i am i'm not gonna lie like okay so here's the thing right i'm super loving when i'm with you i'll do anything for you like i'll look after you
Starting point is 00:47:17 i'll make you feel special it's gonna be like but if you fucking grow up. But no, no, no. Like, honestly, like even I can honestly say, like even Sarah, my PA will tell you, like, I fall hard in love. Yeah, I head over heels for someone. I'll fall so hard for you. But I also fall so hard out of love for you. Oh, shit. That's the issue with me. And that's facts. And I and that's facts and I hate that about myself so much it's the one thing I hate the most about myself I'm a switch you do something
Starting point is 00:47:54 to annoy me or you do something to kind of like it's bad it's not healthy like I people think I'm superwoman I've got my own problems this like I want my own issues I fall so in love with someone and then if I don't see that same level of love back I'm like fuck this shit self-defense yeah I do think in relationships I'm really I'm really defensive and you know what I can't believe I'm admitting all this but yeah I I would say I am and I think that um what are you defending yourself from I don't know okay why are you are you hard to date yeah okay so so are you defensive Chrissy this is all about your diary well come to me no I want to know what you're defending yourself from because you you literally said if I don't get the same type of love back
Starting point is 00:48:46 okay okay so you're obviously very motivated you're very inspired you're very like driven right thanks you're welcome i'm the same like i just want to keep going i want to grind i want to grind so if i see someone kind of just not doing the same, it infuriates me. Like I'm almost like, how can you not have passion for something? How can you not have a drive for something? And then it leads me to believe that, hold on a minute, if I did have the same person that had the same level of drive, would we be compatible? Maybe I do need someone a little bit more like low key because then it will make me feel a bit calmer when I'm home. It's all over the gaff. I don't know what I want. Women don't know
Starting point is 00:49:31 what they want. Stop asking women what we want. We don't know what we want. We don't know what we want. But what I can say is I think sometimes when we overthink things, especially me, I overthink relationships all the freaking time. I think sometimes it's a good idea to just take a step back and just relax a bit. Because if someone is genuinely there for you, willing to listen, willing to take care of you, and willing to always, always put effort in,
Starting point is 00:50:01 stop being a bitch, pretty much, you know? Me personally, I'm difficult to say I'm not gonna lie I'm not gonna lie I don't even feel bad saying that I feel quite free saying that like I'm I'm difficult today no one said you should feel bad no I I am and I I feel bad for the guy but so I really want to dig into that because I can really, really relate. And that's why I started laughing
Starting point is 00:50:27 because I've gone over the same predicament in my head thinking maybe I need someone that's super ambitious and has loads of passions and is a philanthropist. And then I thought, but then maybe they'll drive me crazy because we're all, you know... And then, so I flip-flop. And usually when I'm with one, I think I want the other. Same.
Starting point is 00:50:41 And then, yeah. And then when I'm with that, I'm like, nope. Same. Yeah. That's literally I'm with that I'm like nope I mean yeah that's literally me yeah I'll like maybe we can figure this out today I honestly can't and I think you know what it is I think it's because we are people that are constantly switched on yeah like neurotic obsessive obsessive like with work with this with that i'm not obsessive in a relationship like if someone tries to tell me what to do with my life i'd be like no way and i couldn't imagine ever trying to tell someone what to do with their life like if you want to do whatever you do whatever you want to do that's your life you live it the way you want to live it um so because i'm
Starting point is 00:51:21 obsessive with my life and my career, I'm constantly switched on. So if someone around me isn't, I almost feel like, I don't know. Do you think they're a bum? Oh my God. I think that's true. It's true. Yes, I know.
Starting point is 00:51:45 It's so true. And then do you find yourself feeling a bit lazy? Yeah, but also I'm like, Steve, don't tell him because you're passing your own worldview and your own values onto someone else. Who doesn't want it. Yeah, and you shouldn't be trying to change people out here.
Starting point is 00:52:00 You accept them. Oh my God, that is me. I'm literally like, what do you mean you don't want to be ambitious in life what do you mean you don't have a passion what do you mean and i go crazy in my head and this is happening in my head whilst i'm looking at the meat do you know what i mean let's say i'm like let's say we're at we're at dinner i'm having a full-on blown conversation in my head like what do you mean I'm not ambitious? What do you mean you don't want this?
Starting point is 00:52:27 And he's just chilling, you know, not doing anything wrong. And then I have to literally take a breather and be like, what am I doing? I can't push that onto someone. I can only push that onto myself. I need to chill out. Connected to this, maybe, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:52:42 Your parents, hardworking? Oh my God, so hard working um came from another country came from another country um immigrated at the back of a lorry you know i immigrated at the back of banana lorry wow yeah and um i remember we landed in france and my family got arrested because we were immigrants and they separated us so they put me my mom and my family got arrested because we were immigrants and they separated us so they put me my mom and my brother in one room my dad in another room you could see him through the glass and I remember crying and crying and crying like dad dad dad I didn't know what was going on I was four years old but I still remember that I'll never forget the the prison room was turquoise
Starting point is 00:53:19 I'll never forget that and when we came to this country, my mum and dad worked hard. My mum worked three jobs. My dad worked as a HB1 lorry driver every single night. You know, every penny they had, they saved, they saved, they saved. My dad had a pretty bad gambling problem. I'm going to be honest. My mum was constantly trying to like fix gambling problem. I'm going to be honest. My mom was constantly trying to like fix that problem. And I've never actually mentioned that ever before, ever. And as much as I love my dad with my entire heart and I want nothing more, but him to be happy. It caused a lot of strain on my mom, like trying to feed her family trying to like work hard trying
Starting point is 00:54:05 to save trying to take us on holiday you know um so to save money and then to have the person you love gambling away it's like what's the point like I don't understand why I'm with this person but in my culture you don't leave the man you're with you're stuck with them. But my mum, even though he was like that, my mum loved and loves my dad so much. It's pretty bizarre because that would be enough to take anyone off. But she just believed in him. He doesn't do anymore. Believed in him and nourished him and loved him so much. And together they grew better. So for me, if I have a man and he like places a bet on something it triggers me to think he's going to be gambling and i'm like oh my god no sorry out he's put one bet down and i think he's a gambler do you know what i mean it's crazy so i asked that question for a reason go on um because
Starting point is 00:55:01 we've we've established that we have very much similar traits and relationships, that we tend to really value hard work and ambition. And it tends to be the case that the value we attribute to hard work and ambition probably comes from a childhood where hard work and ambition were the thing that might have got us out of some bullshit let me tell you from my example all right so very much the same as yours but switch the parents so i came from africa i was born in africa came to the uk my dad had like a pretty good job but my mom you could all call it a gambling addiction she had this she has both gambling addiction on one
Starting point is 00:55:43 hand because she played there was probably a thousand lottery tickets. If I opened any drawer in our house, lottery tickets, right? But on the other hand, she couldn't stop starting businesses to the point that the reason why we were so poor, we never had birthdays or Christmases or went on holiday at all ever period, was because my mum spent all the money trying to become a millionaire by starting these businesses. They'd all fail within six months
Starting point is 00:56:05 because she can't read or write. And my dad was the unconditionally loving, calm, supportive, won't leave you even though you're an absolute asshole parent, right? So it was one. Yeah, so in my house, when I think about why I am the way I am now, I think money was such a big problem
Starting point is 00:56:21 that in our house, it was the cause of so much pain. Same. That I grew up the cause of so much pain that I grew up valuing it so much. And the thing that would get you it, which to me would be like, you know, my, what I thought was happiness was like hard work, ambition, like my parents worked so hard that they wouldn't even be in the house when I went to bed or when I woke up. And so I value hard work and ambition because my parents taught me it because it was the cure to our problems right so and especially as immigrants right there's a different there's like an immigrant
Starting point is 00:56:50 vibe I get you yeah I get you that we don't even have to talk about I just get you so like this is part of the reason why I think in relationships when someone doesn't have those values when they don't value hard work and ambition I'm like what the fuck is wrong with you yeah it's probably something wrong with me I don't think there's anything wrong with you i think i i'm i'm not gonna sit here and think there's something wrong with me not wrong it's like it's the result of my trauma my traumatic childhood experience maybe i wouldn't change it for the world do you know what it is i swear to god i think it's it's the fact that okay so a lot of people when we moved to England I was never allowed to like go to stay over other friends houses my dad is super strict like I couldn't even wear
Starting point is 00:57:37 skirts around him absolutely not forbidden and so when I did used to go to my other friends houses like English culture it was a completely different vibe like their family was different like their mums and dads were different and then when I'd come to my house it was different and I didn't understand it so my dad has always wanted me to marry an Albanian man it's like his dream he's like please marry an Albanian man. It's like his dream. He's like, please marry an Albanian man. You two will be amazing together like this. And I'm like, dad, I don't care what he is so long as I'm in love. And it happens to be that the guys I've been with
Starting point is 00:58:16 have been English. And the cultures are completely different. And I don't understand. Like sometimes when they do things, I don't understand like sometimes when they do things i don't understand examples like okay so in my household mediterranean loud proud like very like really yes super loud i am super loud i love it but you know you come to my house and my mom will have dinner ready for you my mom will buy you slippers to make you feel like home you know and she'll she'll welcome you hug you kiss you on each cheek but then when I'd go to Jack's families for example as much as they were so loving so caring it just wasn't the same like you'd have dinner at different
Starting point is 00:59:02 times or and I didn't understand it because I've been brought up in a family where everything's together, like togetherness and everyone's got each other's backs and everyone's solid. So to have a different culture thrown into the mix, sometimes it does clash and it does like cultures are different, but that doesn't mean one culture is better. It just means it's different so it's up to you whether you want to learn both cultures and and meet in the middle it would be
Starting point is 00:59:31 easier if i went for an albanian guy because their culture culture is the same and i've been brought up in that culture but obviously jack's culture is completely different so i've had to kind of like you know find the middle find that that middle ground i guess i don't know what you call it but find that balance are you scared that you might not ever meet the right person all the time i'm all the time scared i'm 26 years old and as women we're told we have a timeframe. If you're not 30, you have kids, you're too old. If you, if you have kids at 40, what kind of mom are you? All this bloody shit around us all the time. Do you know how much pressure that adds as a woman?
Starting point is 01:00:20 All the time. So much pressure that you've got to get married, you've got to have kids, you've got to be a mum, you've got to be a mum before 30, I just want to like breathe out, so much pressure, and it petrifies me, it honestly petrifies me, because a lot of people around me in my industry are married, or have children, or have like a fiance and i had that and i almost think to myself i had that and i let that go and sometimes you you think you know and this is probably i'm asking this question again for my own reasons so do you ever consider the fact that you might be too busy being no no you're never too busy for someone you love I don't think that's the case I don't think um I'm too busy you think you're what you're doing
Starting point is 01:01:13 with with your businesses and as an entrepreneur might prevent you um being uh aware and forming a healthy relationship when the prospect arises? Do you know what I think it is? When you have a nine to five, you clock out. You come home, you switch off. You don't clock out. You're working constantly. Even if you're in this room,
Starting point is 01:01:40 you're still at the back of your head thinking about your business. You're thinking about something you need to do, something you need to check off, something you need to check off something you need to approve something you need to expand on so it's it's so guilty for me to say this like I feel bad saying it but I could be in a room with you and I'm thinking about my companies constantly and someone who has a nine to five doesn't understand that because it's like you switched off at five and sometimes I feel bad saying I do kind of wish I can switch off at 5 p.m but I just can't and I think it's not necessarily I'm too busy it's that I'm constantly thinking even if I'm in the room with you I'm constantly thinking
Starting point is 01:02:16 about what I have to do you can make someone feel pretty lonely just by being even if you're sat next to them yeah you're often you know yeah i often say i say like when i'm with somebody my aim isn't for them to ever understand me it's just to understand that they don't understand yeah because i think i'm like too difficult to understand if i'm quiet for an hour it doesn't mean i don't love you it means that i've just got an email so true and it's just fucked me and i actually don't want to always share things at home because you're offloading yeah you're offloading and i don't want to be back because I could offload 24 7 oh trust me so can I Sarah's always like oh here we go again um but it's true like you know your phone is buzzing off constantly you could get a dm by someone you could
Starting point is 01:02:59 you could get a message an email and it's it's like, oh, fuck, really? And then you're just sitting watching a movie with your partner. Tell me about that part of being an entrepreneur. I think that's why I really started the podcast in the first place, was I want to hear about the bullshit of running a business, the unexpected, unpredictable, life-shifting bullshit that happens. Yeah, your life is, you breathe and you live your businesses i think this is something people don't understand you live and you breathe your companies they are your babies no one and nothing can get in the way and no one understands that they see the money the success
Starting point is 01:03:39 the followers the this the that the bling cars, whatever the hell you want to see. And let me tell you the reality. You don't have much time. You suck at relationships. You don't have many friends. And the friends that you have, you don't really see them. When you do have time to yourself, you never switch off ever. You are the biggest self-critic ever. You constantly think that you could be doing better. And that pressure is insane, mentally and physically, it drains you. And, um, another thing is that I really just want to say, um, if you think a life of an entrepreneur is so glamorous this is the first time i've put on jeans in i would say i feel blessed i feel privileged i don't know how long but i don't live in jeans i live in sweats and sliders if it sucks so much it doesn't suck and you know what
Starting point is 01:04:40 i'm trying to say yeah i know exactly what you're saying but i'm also here to um to try and help people understand multiple perspectives. Because people will say, okay, so you've criticised, you know, you've talked, not criticised, but you've talked about the downsides, right? Why do you still do it? Because you could just say, do you know what? I killed it. Hang up your gym, your active wear clothes, or your shoes. I don't know what people would say.
Starting point is 01:05:03 And you could say, that's it. I'm done. Why don't you what people would say. And you could say, that's it, I'm done. Why don't you? Oh no. Why not? Gosh, the feeling I get when I see someone's transformation, nah, that fills me up. Like that fuels me.
Starting point is 01:05:21 When I see a transformation, when I see someone who had a mental a mental health disorder or an eating disorder and has is now thriving do you know that is so unexplainable that nothing else matters I'd rather not have a relationship to be frank with you I really am not that fast so long as I can continue to help as many women as possible for me that's enough and that's why I don't stop is there an end point in all this I hope not okay there's no like mountaintop there's no no I I think that you know you're you're told in life that you need to go to school you need to go to university you need to achieve this right so then you achieve this and you are not satisfied so you need to achieve this and then this and then this I don't have goals for financial status for awards for anything like that i had maybe two
Starting point is 01:06:31 goals and i've achieved one of them which i won't share because it's actually very top secret but you'll see it next year okay um but if you have these um tangible goals i'm thinking now what it is i'm like you finally married an albanian man i'm like oh yes daddy i did no no no i didn't i didn't no i'm not married nope that's actually very depressing thank you um but no it's like you you goals are like you know when you wrote in your diary i want a range rover right you got a range rover what then just total anti-climax yeah well i want a million dollar house cool what then you're lonely in your house your house is so big you don't even know what to do with it by the way my house is not so big i don't know what to do with it i need more
Starting point is 01:07:21 space but do you see what i'm saying so i don't have those types of goals because they're not attainable is there a point when you're building the businesses you run where you had your worst ever day because I can think about the worst days that I've had in business what was the what was the one that sprung to mind straight away oh god um okay so when I, I'm a woman in tech, right? So with an app, there's complications that you are not even prepared for. There's maybe a bug,
Starting point is 01:07:52 maybe this, maybe that. So obviously when this lawsuit was happening to get my app back, um, from the developers, from the old developers, it was third party company. Um,
Starting point is 01:08:03 when we transferred it to brand new servers that are obviously you know pretty much ours um because servers are just so huge but um i didn't know anything about tech when i started now you speak to me tech i know tech language okay so it's actually i'm very proud because for someone who literally didn't understand what the hell a server was, I was like, what's a server? First time you heard there's a bug, did you think, oh, Lady Bird. Oh, I honestly don't like, it's embarrassing.
Starting point is 01:08:31 But when the transition happened, the whole app went, right, shut down. And imagine when, you know, when Instagram shuts down, people are like, oh my God, Instagram sucks. Like F you Instagram. Okay, but this is my company now. So when it shuts down. People are like, oh my God, Instagram sucks. Like F you Instagram. Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:45 But this is my company now. So when it shuts down, it's like, I can't, I can't, I can't pay for my employees. I can't pay for my office. I can't do this.
Starting point is 01:08:55 I can't do that. When it shut down, my whole face shut down with it. I was like, shit, what do I do now? This is it. We lost 10, scribes in one day
Starting point is 01:09:06 fuck you times 10 000 by 13 99 yeah it's a lot of fucking money it's a lot of money in one day gone gone that was probably the work one of the worst days and i just sat back and i looked at jack and i just said to him what the fuck do we do now Jack being Jack he was like don't worry we'll gain them back on don't worry why are you stressing this is what happens what do you mean why are we stressing idiot what do you mean he's like chill out but um yeah that was probably the worst day and I just remember i i lost so much weight right i lost i would say i was 56 kilograms i went down to 49 in like 56 kilograms yeah i went down to 49 seven kilograms yeah but i went down to 49 so can you imagine in what space of time um three weeks to
Starting point is 01:10:07 four weeks i couldn't keep anything on i wasn't eating i wasn't sleeping i lost everything then me and jack parted so and i was still producing videos still producing content still how long was the app down for it was down for three days three Wow. Three days. And I was still producing content, going on Instagram. Don't worry, guys. We'll still get out there. I wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping, wasn't doing anything. I'd just broken up the person I was going to marry. I was in a house with my dog,
Starting point is 01:10:37 the house that I built with the man I was supposed to be with. I didn't know what the hell I was doing anymore. At that point, I thought I should give up not gonna lie but yeah I was like this is it now no no I'm giving up I've got my law degree I'm gonna go back to doing that this is just too much stress and then I didn't I just kept going just kept going something inside me was like you just have to keep going please don't give up please don't give up Chrissy you talked about um your own battles with mental health um over the years I think I think I read that you you said you'd suffered with depression at various stages yeah can you tell me about that yeah huge like I mean a lot of people see a very picture perfect image on Instagram which I'm to blame just like
Starting point is 01:11:30 everybody else you want to you want to showcase the best bits of you nothing wrong with that you keep doing you if that works you keep doing you but I have been in such dark places that I couldn't I couldn't picture wanting anyone to feel what I felt in those places even someone I resent not that I resent anyone but I wouldn't even want that for them these dark places suck you in so much that you honestly start to contemplate whether you just want to stop feeling that feeling period like just be done with it and I'll never forget I was laying in bed one day and I was so depressed so depressed that I just thought to myself it'd be so much easier if I wasn't here. That's so much easier. Just quit. Just leave. And I cried myself to sleep and I woke up the next morning and it almost felt like in my dream, I'd made it happen. If you know what I'm trying to say without saying it.
Starting point is 01:12:39 And I just thought, I need to stop because I cannot go on like this and I think when I try and explain to people that I know those dark places I've been in those dark places they don't believe me because they see me for the person I am today they don't see the person that fought so hard to be where I am today mentally not even about the success the the businesses, mentally, that's the most important thing up here, this is the most important thing, you can have all the money in the world, all the businesses in the world, you can have 300 employees, multiple companies, who gives a fuck about that, if you up here are so not okay, so yeah, I've been through dark places, but I've also picked myself up multiple times and i've had to brush my shoulders off and get shit done and that's why i keep saying to every single
Starting point is 01:13:31 person out there you have to do this for you do this for you this is the the biggest and most important thing i can say to you and now that you have you know you've built this empire this little fitness empire which is rapidly growing do you ever find yourself in those dark places even today yeah not as bad um but i find myself um i find myself wondering if i'll ever have like a somewhat normal life. So like what we discussed, will I ever find someone again? Will I be in love? Will I get married? Will I have children?
Starting point is 01:14:14 Like I want children. I want to be married. I believe in those things. I want those things. But sometimes I wonder if those things are going to happen for me. And I do wonder, I just maybe need to stop overcomplicating things my mind but I can't switch off and maybe the only way I know to switch
Starting point is 01:14:31 off is just to quit you see what I'm saying it's a vicious circle but if I quit I'll be so angry at myself for quitting it's like ongoing it's constant it doesn't stop so um and do you think part of that fear comes from the fact that you believe the way you are now and how you live and work now and how obsessive you are now is probably not like conducive or um it's probably not going to allow that other all those other things you want to come true right so like you think well something's going to have to give at some point is that i do i'm not gonna lie i i literally think like that i'm not gonna lie like so when when tonus sculpt was built um we i didn't i honestly didn't realize it would grow the speed it did with little to absolutely no marketing expenditure so everything's been hyper organic in the space of 12 months we now have a team of 22 people
Starting point is 01:15:26 when it was just me and jack 12 months ago 22 people an office in in in london we know what the rent is like in london it's off the chain um 120 growth you know month by month it's rapid growth. We've just launched a brand new trainer, um, who is like insane. And, um, I keep saying to myself, okay, when I get to this point, I can, I can relax. And I say that to Sarah all the time. I keep saying, I keep mentioning Sarah, but, but because she is the one person that knows me probably better than my own blood because she's with me everywhere I go and she is the person I speak to about a lot of things so I always say to her okay when I get to this point with tone and scope I can breathe and bless her she's like yeah yeah but she knows in her head I'll want more and I'll want more but it's not I want more it's that I believe we can do more and I believe we can do more and strive for more so when does it end when does it end it doesn't end that's what I'm trying
Starting point is 01:16:31 to say so you have to make peace with it you have to make peace with the fact that it's not supposed to end but you also have to make peace with the fact that you need to make maybe some self self-adjustments and and be a bit critical with yourself because if you're going in a relationship and constantly thinking that that person should be on your level that's that's my problem I need to deal with that's not their problem you know it's not fair on them how do you deal with that I think it I think it takes time I think you're not sure are you no i'm not sure i can tell by your body language oh god um it's okay to not have it figured out right i don't have it figured out and i'm someone who doesn't like not having things figured out right yeah yeah i get that um but i do think i
Starting point is 01:17:20 need to stop being so mean it's this balance balance, right? Between trying to figure it out now because you kind of want to be able to have a plan and have, you know, but then also realizing that you shouldn't overthink this thing and that you should maybe just- You've literally made me feel in this podcast like I'm the most impossible person to be with.
Starting point is 01:17:37 I'm not, I'm just asking the questions. Oh no, no, I can't lie. I'm not going to lie just to make myself sound good. No, it's a very important part of being a successful person. It has this crazy neurotic obsessive brain. Yeah, I do. And that's super ambitious. But also has these other things they want.
Starting point is 01:17:53 And life is a job. You can't have everything at the same time. So what we're talking about now is like compromise and how you reach that compromise in your life, if possible. I'm in the same place. I have no idea how that's going to happen. But do you want kids? I do want want kids do you want to get married um i'm not so concerned about the concept of marriage but i want to have a long-term partner because i want to have kids and so i'm
Starting point is 01:18:14 willing to commit long term if it's a marriage if it's signing some other piece of paper if there's no paper i like don't really care too much about the whole marriage thing if it matters so much to the partner i'll do it but i don't i was saying on the last podcast no i see what you mean i don't have a great case for why the law or a religion should be involved in love i don't think it has a great track record with love so i'm like i think that's an idea which we all as a society need to just reconsider yeah i see what you mean like i'm gonna my closing statement on this point is we are all so different you are different from me only a little bit.
Starting point is 01:18:45 But then you're different from your assistant and I'm different from mine and my friends from school. So logically, you would think the answer to how we form our romantic connections would also be unique and different. And I think at any time in life where the script tells you everyone has to go through this door, when you are a different shape it's like putting
Starting point is 01:19:05 a triangle in a square like of course i think that's when you have to question things so i got kicked out of school because i just stopped going dropped out of university after one lecture and i've tried to navigate my life my way through life just rejecting the things that i'm meant to just accept blindly and marriage is one of them where i'm like can i achieve all the things i want to in a relationship without that without marriage yeah and I put on my LinkedIn last week I said um I basically said to the world I think marriage is a concept we need to reconsider for everyone someone proved me wrong and one guy commented he said I've been in a marriage for 45 years we love each other we've done this I said could you have done that without the marriage? Yes. Okay then. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:48 But you would do it if she or, I don't know, he, whatever. Maybe. But then I need to be honest here because- You know, if they really wanted to get married. I'd ask them why they really wanted to get married. I'm not gonna lie, I am the same. Like for me, a piece of paper doesn't define my love for you. Okay, let's talk about this then. So why do you want to get married?
Starting point is 01:20:10 Do you know what it is? like this is me being a woman i just really want to dress we can do the wedding like that's marriage is different from a wedding in a ceremony someone said that on my post yeah i guess so when you put it yeah i mean look my my dream wedding would genuinely be like on the beach, having like burgers and beers with the closest friends and families, running in the ocean. I don't want like a big fancy party. I feel like you just described your dream day. Yeah, literally.
Starting point is 01:20:34 If you could do that like this weekend. But if I said to you, because you're so busy, if I said to you, what do you want to do right now? I bet anyone of you'd say, do you know what, I'd love to be on the sofa and just eat my favorite food with the people I love yeah of course right of course yeah over going out getting smashed of course that's what i'm saying but a lot of people's thing is my brain i was like go on your laptop and check your emails see that's what i mean because you're obsessed because i love
Starting point is 01:20:58 it you know what i mean yeah but what i'm saying is to other people, they want a big wedding and big, big fuss. I hate fuss. I absolutely hate fuss over me. And it's so funny because like even my team surprise, three-year surprise birthday party, I was so awkward. I was like, don't ever do that again.
Starting point is 01:21:18 I, I hate all eyes on me. Yes. Although my business is built on all eyes on me to see how that's so contradicting it's the same i used to my previous assistant um who ended up being my girlfriend long fucking story which we're not going to go into whoa spilling the tea i don't actually know sophie so my current assistant sophie's been with me for four years i don't know if she knows this but sophie do you know this do i do have i ever said to you when it's my birthday or when it's
Starting point is 01:21:45 like social change anniversary to not make a fuss about it and the reason why I say this is because I get so much attention as it is and so much fuss for like being the founder being the CEO the eyes are always on me you just don't want it you're like no no no yeah same right I'm the same and I always just feel like oh I don't know so that's why my dream wedding day if that day will come is to just oh my god 20 30 people max closest friends and families my my dog there and just to have the person I love and I always say I want to be in a room full of people and look at the person I love and just me and him understand each other you know what I mean that feeling where you look at them and you're just like I get you I get you and that's that's what I crave that's what I want and you're right a piece
Starting point is 01:22:37 of paper doesn't define that feeling only you define that feeling in that person so I don't need a piece of paper you're right um i guess i just want the concept are you scared of death who me no not at all who me who do you think i'm talking to who me no i'm not i'm not are you no i'm not no not like, um, I'm scared of not living. Yes. I'm scared of like, I really want to do things. I want to explore. I want to do things.
Starting point is 01:23:12 I want to, you know, my, my dream vacation would be to not have my phone there. I don't care about a selfie. I don't care about this. I just want to be present in the moment. And if I, if I told you that you were going to die a week from now what would you oh so much what would you regret so much tell me not living just working there you go not living like as much as I love doing what I, what I do, I'm not going to lie. I, I've built what I've
Starting point is 01:23:46 built telling people to look after themselves and I forget to look after myself. And that's why when I do train and when I exercise, it's the only time I do feel like I'm doing something really special for myself. And I've like, I do a lot of lot of skipping right amazing at skipping by the way i watched you the other day i was like oh my god did you like i thought i was a good skipper no and i saw you like dancing while skipping and i was like oh she's fine of course she's doing like a double crossover and i just had to i started to feel really inadequate and insecure as a man it was fine so i just had to happens all the time i'm joking but you know why i skip why is that uh you have to be fucking present because if you're not present you get whipped right and when i'm skipping i literally feel
Starting point is 01:24:35 like i can't think about anything else but the rhythm and for someone who's always on switched on someone who's always doing things you know people always tell me go go meditate do yoga can i fuck yeah can i fuck i'm like i literally go to meditate and i'm thinking about my my to-do list like but when i'm skipping i'm so engrossed in it yeah that i'm literally so present in the moment and it makes me feel alive same thing with training i'm so engrossed in training and that's why so many women when i say to them just train you're a mom you got to think about your children you're you're a student you got to think about your studies you're trying to trying to make money because you don't know when you're going to pay your rent just train it's the one moment that you can ignore the entire world and do something for yourself so i really want to
Starting point is 01:25:27 loop back around to this point about if you were to die next week oh you're trying to avoid it huh i was because you know the answer yeah but i want to hear the answer because i'm asking this i would feel the same way right maybe more awkward my palms this way it makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable right it does because I love my job so much like I love what I do it it I thrive off it but on the flip side I do wish I was I'll stop being such an annoying little bitch and just take some time off for myself you know I stopped being so annoying to yourself bitch and just take some time off for myself you know let's stop being so annoying to yourself chrissy just take some time off it's okay it's okay to go do things you love doing like traveling obviously right now it's pandemic but you know what i'm trying to say
Starting point is 01:26:14 like travel like maybe take a week off and just breathe um but i i can't i can't i don't know what's wrong with me i just can't are you the same i'm the same is there something again i'm just exploring this is there something strange about that where you feel like you know you're saying you're saying i can't it's like you don't have a choice but at the same time you're telling me that if you were to die next week you would regret not living yeah oh my god this is such a heavy loaded question um i feel like i feel like this is the therapy session i needed but it's it's so true what you've just said you've literally just you've shut me up you shut me up because i can't you're like thank fuck thank fuck I'll shut her up but it's
Starting point is 01:27:07 true like I can't stop working because something keeps telling me I can't stop right now not yet but on the flip side if I was to die next week I'd regret not taking some time off for myself to do things that I love doing I love going to museums do the things that I love doing. I love going to museums. No one knows that. I literally love looking at things. But you think that's a waste of time? I do. Right now? Right now, yeah. And time is every entrepreneur's biggest asset. Time is everything.
Starting point is 01:27:42 How could it possibly be a waste of time if it's the thing you would regret the the reason why i think this death question is so revealing is they they do all of these there's a a lady called bonnie where who was um she worked with um i think it's called palliative patients which are people that are about to die they've gone home to die and she asked them the question what are your biggest regrets and she wrote it down and she was doing this for years and she wrote a blog about it and there's a certain sort of retrospective clarity you'll get in that moment when there is nothing going forward for your life about how you should have made your decisions in that moment you can imagine only the things that matter people what
Starting point is 01:28:20 that girl said about your hair none of this shit won't fucking matter the playground shit none of it will matter you'll just be left with the things that truly mattered and so putting yourself in that mindset i call it like deathbed thinking allows you to look at how you're living your life now and see if it's in accordance with the things that will matter in that like final moment and so i asked this question because i think the same about me i'm like if you told me today i had four days left to live i'd be like why didn't i have a better relationship with my family yeah why didn't i go see my niece i don't have a relationship with my brother well yeah you know i have a shit relationship with my mom in particular yeah i don't see my niece and my
Starting point is 01:29:00 two nieces enough but i've probably seen them i know three or four times she's maybe three years old she's only two hours away and so i think these things about myself and I think okay so but what are you sacrificing have you made a change because no one's ever asked me that so the question is now you've asked yourself that I think it'll always be there but but it won't be but no one's ever asked me that so now you've got me thinking oh, I need to get Sarah to put me on holiday because fuck me, I need to live my life. But it's like, in all honesty, I'll probably leave today and keep doing what I'm doing day in, day out.
Starting point is 01:29:33 Until at some point, you'll learn this lesson the hard way. Facts. And you know, recently one of the most important people of my life passed away. The woman that gave me a home you know um you know you know but you know my best my best friend holly who is literally my sister her mom gave me a home when i was homeless and you know she didn't once mention
Starting point is 01:30:00 the months she left let me live there the food I ate the hot water I used not once ever brought it up and I saw her on her dying bed right and I held her hand and I just kept thinking to myself nothing matters at this point and you know what Holly said to me she goes I would have called you sooner but I was scared you were doing something and at that point, I, I, it hit me. Like I looked down, I went, never say that again. You call me when you need me. I'm always there for you. But it's the fact that we've, the people around us know how busy we are, that they sometimes feel like, Oh, maybe I just shouldn't the most important people. Even my mom doesn't know. She goes, I didn't call you, babe. It's okay. I know how busy you babe it's okay I know
Starting point is 01:30:45 how busy you are and I say so no you call me when you want me and you need me and it's not like you've told people not to call you right it's that they think that you're just so busy that it'll be a disruption because you've made them feel that way yeah yeah I'm to blame 100% and you know you have to take a step back and you have to realize what matters in life and that for me That moment there. I just realized to myself and I messaged every single person I love the most and I said, I don't care how busy I am. I'm always here for you Always, so that's a real personal moment for your best friend and i'm i imagine you said earlier
Starting point is 01:31:25 that you don't have many friends um i have acquaintances but like close friends you know like friends no i don't think i don't think a lot of people do though if you really like i don't have many friends yeah like i have people that are there like acquaintances and i have people that i would genuinely die for. Those are my friends, you know? And I can count them on my hand. Holly is one of them. Other people have more friends?
Starting point is 01:31:53 Is that a fair statement? Typically? Yeah, sure. But I don't really care if you have more friends than me, to be honest. I'm happy with the people I have. Because you have more friends than me doesn't make you more superior or makes you a better person because you have more people around you
Starting point is 01:32:08 it's just you know I'm only 26 I don't know how many friends I'm going to have at 62 so I have friends do you see what I'm saying probably less maybe yeah according to the data maybe yeah but at the same time I couldn't have asked for better friends that I have now and the friends I have now would protect me and look after me and they know I would do anything for them that's what matters not having a hundred friends I want one good friend not a hundred random friends so I asked that question because I think I've definitely struggled to make and to hold on to friendships because of the way I've been over the last decade in the same way relation like normal relationships I found that I don't invest enough in my friendships as much as I probably
Starting point is 01:32:54 should okay I'm gonna be completely honest um people come and go right people come and go, right? People come and go. And it's so bizarre because I know it sounds crazy, but I've pretty much built a virtual community, right? And I feel like that's my team. Even though I may have not met these women physically, I feel like they get me more than the people in my own life. that weird do you think that's weird you think it's a bit weird don't you be honest I don't know if it's like I speak to people it's it's a very curious thing you've you've just said yeah like you should I don't know if you've ever seen or maybe not but when I go on a live workout, and I work out with hundreds and thousands of women, I don't see them. They see me, but I feel the energy.
Starting point is 01:33:54 I can't explain it to you. I sound crazy right now, and people probably think I'm an absolute crazy psycho weirdo, but let them think what they want when I'm like reading a dm right or when I'm going live for a workout or when I add a new workout on and when I repost people because you see I repost a lot of people right um and half the time I don't even tag turn a sculpt I just repost the woman with a sweaty selfie or whatever and that to, I almost feel like that's enough friends. Like I have friends for life. This is my family, my unit, my team, my tribe. And as crazy as I may sound, I feel like that tribe understands me more than the people in my life. So that's when I go on social media and you see me understand that's me because I feel like we're friends and you get
Starting point is 01:34:47 me and it's crazy because they do get me and I get them they get my sense of humor they get me trying to dance on camera and be stupid I don't care I sometimes forget I have 2.3 million followers and I come friends well I sometimes forget right have you seen I come online and I don't have makeup on I forget I genuinely forget and I'm like oh shit my skin's a bit crusty right now and I just posted that to 2.3 million people what's my crazy ass thinking and I sit back and I'm like oh okay I don't care but the nature of the internet is that you would of course you've got 2.3 million people there's a lot of people in there that are hurting themselves and that want to make you feel like shit too can i be honest i'm very lucky really yeah i'm very lucky man i don't and when I do um if like someone's been horrible on a post because I have I have a big
Starting point is 01:35:50 insecurity about my boobs all right like they're they're saggy I'll say it and cool I've always had a big insecurity about it I remember this one one girl just ripped them to shreds she was just like ew like they look disgusting and saggy I didn't even see the comment until I started seeing community members reply back to her now there's a difference between replying back to someone and being like you need to stop that was hurtful and then replying back meanly if you're replying back mean that's not nice like you don't cure hate with hate right so if I see someone being really nasty so I don't cure hate with hate, right? So if I see someone being really nasty, so I don't like that. Like, I'd rather you not defend me. I don't want that.
Starting point is 01:36:29 You don't know what that girl's going through. Just because she's being mean to me, you don't know what she's going through, the pain she must be in. You don't know. But when I see someone like, hey, sis, like you need to chill because that's not nice.
Starting point is 01:36:40 You don't know what that comment could do to someone. That's a team. That's a community. That's a community. That's a family right there. So I'm pretty blessed. I don't get as much negativity as maybe other people. I'm pretty, pretty blessed. Touch wood, that doesn't change.
Starting point is 01:36:58 But listen, I don't know how to explain it to you and I'm going to sound hella crazy right now, but the community I have, man, it's something special. It's something that, it's unexplainable, the feeling they give me. And that to me is my friends,
Starting point is 01:37:21 as weird as I may sound and lonely as I may sound. So some of the things you're working on, right? Yeah. So you've got a book coming out. Yes. Which is exciting. Tell me about this.
Starting point is 01:37:30 So exciting. So officially an author. Oh my God. Um, so my book, do this for you. How to be a strong woman on the inside and out is not your average fitness book. So I'm pretty sick and tired of 20-day challenges and kind of
Starting point is 01:37:47 telling women that oh my god do this 20-day challenge and you're going to lose 10 pounds oh shut up it's draining jarring stop i'm going to teach you how to create habits discipline consistency longevity that's what it's about you know all the programs on the tonus copped app are some of them are year long that doesn't kind of goes against the typical sales sales a script of something with status quo like small effort from you big results that's what sells right yeah five days you'll lose 100 pounds yeah you know but that's very honest of you and i think that's real right yeah no you're not you're gonna lose weight of course of course you're gonna lose weight if you're doing stupid amounts of cardio cutting out specific food groups and you're literally depriving yourself of course you're gonna lose weight not sustainable is it sustainable no so the way i always say it is
Starting point is 01:38:39 funny enough in a relationship if you're constantly just like horrible to someone all the time, is that sustainable? Not really. You have to nourish, you have to love, you have to care, you have to show effort, consistency. That's what works. Same thing with training. It's the constant effort you put in day in, day out that will make a difference. And so it's all about disciplines, habits, consistency. Yeah. And it's a book that, do you know what, In all honesty, it's a book that I know when someone reads, they're going to pass it down. Right, got you.
Starting point is 01:39:09 It's one of those books. You read it and it gets you thinking. It's a thinking book. So I did the audio book for it as well last week. And when I was reading it, I was like, damn, that was good. I was like, I know someone's going to read that. Like, yeah, yeah. Listen to it. Like, it's true it's a thinking book i asked you what your why is so if i say to you what
Starting point is 01:39:32 what is your why why is it that you want to train i've been over this a lot but uh i mean like the thing that i keep trying to get my myself away from is having a really extrinsic why that's like i want to look good for summer because when summer ends and I look good that shit is done there we go but that's a lot of people's whys yeah I want to lose weight for my wedding dress I want to lose weight for this for an occasion occasion occasion timeline timeline yeah the occasion comes what then you fall off a cliff yeah it's not a sustainable why so I teach you how to gain a sustainable why which is fundamentally the you how to gain a sustainable why, which is fundamentally the most important foundation
Starting point is 01:40:07 you need for fitness. Then I teach you habits. You don't think twice about brushing your teeth. Why think twice about your health? Why think twice about your health? Your health is the most fundamental and important thing you need to live. You need to get one of them as well.
Starting point is 01:40:21 And why are you thinking twice about it? Why are you viewing fitness as a chore? You're viewing your health as a chore. That's a shame. Your body deserves more. Whenever you've heard people speak about health like this in a society where women are driven by fat loss pills and quick, quick fad diets and intense workout sessions it's time to stop it's time to tell you that you need to calm the fuck down remember your why remember how important your health is and understand that if you have a bad day it's okay it's okay to have a bad day So that's what do this for you is all about. Sounds amazing.
Starting point is 01:41:07 I'm going to read it. Thank you. We'll link the pre-order as well in all of the, in the podcast and also on the YouTube video. I wanted to ask you what other things you're working on. I know you just launched an active wear line that looks pretty awesome. They are. God has so many issues with that to begin with,
Starting point is 01:41:21 but we got there in the end, got there in the end on there in the end honor active um honor active is fundamentally i was actually building the mission and the vision for it last week um and one of the things i said is that i don't want it to be a trendsetter why because i don't i don't want my brand to be something that people just kind of like buy because it's trendy and that's that. I want On Active to be something you go back to time and time again. So all of our collections have certain names,
Starting point is 01:41:55 like the first collection is called Classic because you're always going to come back to it. It's designed with specific material that you always come back to it. The next collection is called Timeless. And then our winter collection is called effortless so it's designed to have a concept that it's your best friend always and forever that it doesn't matter what year it is you're still going to love honor active because trendsetters they come and they go you have your 15 minutes fame and then it goes yeah but i want something to be sustainable if you look at nike
Starting point is 01:42:25 lululemon the biggest brands in the world they don't have fancy stuff some of the best lululemon leggings are the most simplest ones you'll ever find but they're trusted and they're loved and that's exactly what i want honor to be i'm not here to start trends sorry i'm not here to start trends i'm here to ensure that you pick up your leggings and you trust this product that's my goal for honor active on to the next business no tonal sculpt is tonal sculpt is still like obviously my number one baby and an honor active of course but what we've done with tonal sculpt um we launched a brand new athlete danielle wilson i don't know if she saw i i clicked on her profile she followed me i was quite uh she loves you oh my god she's gonna be so excited yeah she's like oh my god she always reposts you
Starting point is 01:43:14 and i was like yeah he's all right i'm joking she's like oh my god i love him i'm like yeah he's all right i'm joking but now she is very special um because i approached her and the reason why i want to talk talk about her briefly in this in this podcast is because i think it's very important she's a 200 pound african-american woman 5 foot 11 not your average fitness guru right so why would tona sculpt want her if she's not your average fitness guru right so why would tone and sculpt want her she's not your average fitness guru why would you want someone who women are scared to think that's what fitness looks like let me tell you why because fitness for such a long time is not about the way it looks it's about the way it makes you feel she trains because it makes her
Starting point is 01:44:06 feel alive she's an athlete yeah she trains athletes she is an athlete she's built like an athlete that's what i wanted for my brand so when i approached her year and a half ago i slid into her dms and i was like i am every day inspired by you and I didn't really think I wanted trainers other trainers on the toning sculpt app but I what I need you I need you and on this app and she was like what are you serious like you really think I should be on the app and I was like hell yeah you need to be on this app you inspire me I know you're going to inspire thousands of other women and it's funny because when the whole black lives matter thing happened five other companies approached her in that month five other fitness brands and I had a FaceTime with her and I said listen babe if they're offering
Starting point is 01:44:59 you more money and you think it's a better opportunity for you i understand business is business she goes hell no i'm married to you i'm not going anywhere i'm married to you she goes but how funny is it that it took something happening for them to approach me i don't say anything and i said to her i'm gonna let you answer that question yourself for yourself oh that that are that week my emails were blowing right up black lives matter week i had more speaking requests more invitations to campaigns than i've ever had in my entire life you know what it is but i'm gonna be honest i'm gonna take the bag do you know what i mean yeah if you're if you're approaching me because um you think you suddenly
Starting point is 01:45:45 have had this revelation that you need a black person involved fine fine i can't find uh you know what am i gonna do say no and then like they're gonna go have to go because in this to find someone else yeah and in this country when you think about young black successful entrepreneurs me and jamal edwards there's and he the guy who made sbtv who's been on this podcast there's fucking no one else like are you gonna have to start looking at footballers if you want young black and successful and and so yeah fucking and also i can use that platform as as a way to inspire other people to change their opinions in the same way obama inspired a lot of naive americans to think that oh my god a black person can be smart and intelligent and clean don't
Starting point is 01:46:29 please i could just so yeah i took the bags every single bag all mine and you know what i've i'll keep taking them yeah no hell yeah hell yeah like are you fucking joking me i said i i looked at daniel i said to daniel to Danielle on the FaceTime, it doesn't matter where you go. It matters what you're going to represent. Yeah, yeah. Do you understand that you're going to change a young girl's life by being somewhere, being present, being vocal, being ambitious?
Starting point is 01:46:58 Do it. If the platform that's offering you more money is bigger, do it. She was like, no, I want to be at Tone and Sculpt. Of course, because you. Yeah, but that's just loyalty. money is bigger do it she was like no i want to be at tone and skull of course because you yeah but that's just loyalty that's just her being loyal but it goes beyond bringing another trainer onto the app it's about representation it's about i'm sick and tired of fitness having one status quo fitness is not one status quo it's about to help people mentally and physically if it wasn't for fitness i would not be alive today and that's facts so what's next for chrissy what's next
Starting point is 01:47:31 when you think about the future personally i don't know business amazing yeah stuff that are coming up beyond um but from a personal perspective i don't know i really don't know i don't know what's even happening tomorrow in my personal life are you happy in what sense that's the question for what in what sense in your life are you happy um i would say i'm really happy in my career and i'm really happy in my community um from a personal perspective i think i need to just take a breather and i would say i need to work on my happiness on a personal perspective a little bit more yeah for sure you're gonna do that see you're funny because you ask me the questions and you ask if i'm gonna do it and then i don't know the answer to that question because i don't know if i will do it so i don't know i think i just need to i think i just need to be a bit more patient with myself and a little bit kinder to
Starting point is 01:48:41 myself and less self-defensive listen um I've I've taken a lot of your time and it's been a fascinating conversation I've learned a lot about myself as well really yeah it's like you know on many of these issues they are they're issues that anybody in the situation you know both me and you find ourselves in in life where we're running businesses and we're very busy but then we're also trying to fulfill all of our personal needs at the same time when one of those you know facets of our life is so all-consuming we feel the same things and we're confused by it we don't have the answers and as much as we want to have the answers and have control over everything because we are used to that and we strive for that in our business you know sometimes we have to relinquish control in
Starting point is 01:49:24 order to be happy maybe that's a lot of the answer but thank you so much for giving me your time today but more importantly for giving me so much honesty um and where can where can people find you i mean you're everywhere so yeah there's bitches everywhere and i'm joking like you know you've got your book coming out you've got your app you've got your activewear line. I'm sure people will find you. And I just want to say thank you because there's very few people out there that are willing to be honest. It takes a certain vulnerability to be that honest, but it does so much for so many people. And on behalf of your community, on behalf of entrepreneurs like me, on behalf of all of the aspiring female entrepreneurs that are following in your footsteps,
Starting point is 01:50:05 a huge thank you, because what you're doing, it's costing you a lot, but it's giving the world even more. So thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for watching!

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