The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett - Moment 135: Master The Art Of Controlling That Negative Voice: Yung Pueblo

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

In this moment, bestselling poet and author, Yung Pueblo discusses his mission in raising self-awareness and making people realise that healing is possible. When he was younger he believed that if you were sick mentally it was just something you had to deal with for life, however by radically changing himself through meditation and a different environment, he realised that healing is necessary to living a better life. Over time the difficult moments in our past build up in our mind, and we repeat cycles of thought and behaviour, healing allows us the freedom to escape this. However, Yung Pueblo believes the biggest challenge is that people doubt their own power and don’t understand their capacity, distracting themselves from their emotions. Instead we need to sit and embrace these difficult emotions that make us feel uncomfortable and be radically honest with ourself. Listen to the full episode here - https://g2ul0.app.link/3CxFf11KAEb Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/%20TheDiaryOfACEO/videos Yung Pueblo: https://www.instagram.com/yung_pueblo/?hl=en https://yungpueblo.com/about

Quick one, just wanted to say a big thank you to three people very quickly. First people I want to say thank you to is all of you that listen to the show. Never in my wildest dreams is all I can say. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd start a podcast in my kitchen and that it would expand all over the world as it has done. And we've now opened our first studio in America, thanks to my very helpful team led by Jack on the production side of things. So thank you to Jack and the team for building out the new American studio.

And thirdly to Amazon Music who, when they heard that we were expanding to the United States, and I'd be recording a lot more over in the States, they put a massive billboard in Times Square for the show. So thank you so much, Amazon Music. Thank you to our team. And thank you to all of you that listened to this show. Let's continue. People don't understand their capacity. You don't need to hit rock bottom to be the best version of yourself. What you just have to do is... When you look at the body of work you've produced and you look specifically at the writing,

the content that you've put out into the world, what mission are you on? What is it you're trying to do? What effect are you trying to have on society at large? I think the mission is really hoping to raise self-awareness around the fact that healing and letting go are possible. So I got into this world really early on. I think it was 2011 when I started realizing that healing was even possible. And this was before wellness was even a giant sort of this giant world that it is today. And to me, it was a shock. You know,

when I grew up, I thought that if you were sick physically or mentally in some manner, you just had to deal with that for the rest of your life. You couldn't really fix that in any way. And when I started changing my habits, when I started changing what I was eating, when I started reassessing my friend group, and then eventually when I started meditating, the changes were so massive that I was so shocked by them that I wanted to really check in with myself and see that, is this real? And it was real. So that just kind of pushed me into writing where I felt this sort of creative pull to share the little bit that I know. And it was interesting because I know that I don't know everything. I'm not fully healed. I'm not fully wise. I have a long way to go. But hopefully, some of the things that I'm reflecting on could inspire other people to do the serious work as well. And why? Why does it matter that we heal?

Why does it matter? I think it's because it's pretty necessary to live a better life. Like, I think whether you've experienced serious trauma or not, you've definitely had hard moments in your life. And those hard moments get accumulated into the mind. They literally, you know, the times when you react very intensely with anger, with sadness, with whatever emotion it is, that reaction gets accumulated in your mind and predisposes

you to feeling that same thing again. And oftentimes we don't quite realize that we're sort of like trapped in this tight little bubble by our past. And we're thinking the same things, saying the same things, making the same actions, and it keeps us in a loop. But if you start healing, you can basically get access to your freedom. So thinking about what you said there about your own healing journey, where you couldn't believe the results were real and true. Mm-hmm. What did you heal from? I think a lot of it was anxiety and stress and this sort

of scarcity mindset. So I was born in Ecuador in the city called Guayaquil. I came to the United States when I was about four years old with my parents. When we got to the United States, it was incredibly difficult. We were stuck in the classic American poverty trap. My mom, she worked cleaning houses. My dad, he worked at a supermarket. So there was no upward mobility for us. They didn't know English. You know, we were, we went through a really difficult time. So as I was growing up, I didn't notice how that was affecting me until I got to college where, you know, I had so much anxiety and stress about, you know, I would see my parents fight constantly about how they were going to pay the rent, how they were going to get more groceries. I experienced multiple times where I was, you know, eight-year-old child and I'm so hungry because

there wasn't enough food in the fridge. And this all got accumulated over time and never really properly processed. You know, like I didn't have access to a therapist back then, no meditating back then. It was sort of just, you know, coping mechanisms. And when I got to university, I hit this breaking point where I didn't want to admit to myself that I didn't feel good. I was constantly trying to coat myself in pleasure by drinking as much as possible, smoking as much as possible, always with friends, never alone. And I ended up just like building all these bad habits where I was partying constantly, doing tons of drugs, and eventually hit that breaking point in the summer of 2011 where I almost lost my life I talked to a doctor afterwards and described to them what happened and they were like oh yeah it sounds like a mild heart attack where I

had just taken way too many drugs one night was on the floor crying basically you know praying begging for my life because I. Because I didn't want to go out like that. And going through that experience, and then basically taking a different route into the life that I have now, I think I'm really grateful that I had that strength. And I want other people to know that they have that strength too. Zooming in on that moment then, when you go off to college, you find yourself in addictive cycles with drugs and alcohol and cocaine, I believe.

Yeah. You have that miniature heart attack. Yeah. And then at that point, you make a decision that you're not going to let this thing kill you. Yeah. What is the next step in your journey towards healing? Walking. Walking.

Walking. Something's, I mean, I was incredibly unhealthy, right? I was definitely overweight at the time, but, um, but internally, right. I had an exercise probably in like four years, four or five years. And, um, so I knew I took the drugs, threw them away. Um, you know, I'm home and I'm like, okay, how do I like revamp my life? And I remember seeing some YouTube video or stumble upon, or I saw something back then where it was talking about how important it is to have more nutrition. So I ended up buying a like huge tub of barley grass, you know, back barley grass used to be like really hip back then. And I needed some type of super food because I knew I'm, you know, every day I'm just eating, you know, rice and meat, rice and

meat, just like a very like South American diet. And I was like, okay, let me get some nutrition. Let me get this barley grass stuff. I can put it in my orange juice and just knock it back. And I was like, I got to do something. Like I have to go outside. And I just started walking. And I remember I was so unhealthy, started walking, lightly jogging that I got the worst shin splints. Like I literally, my legs hurt so bad that I was having trouble going up the stairs, but I kept going and I kept going. And like, you know, even this morning, this morning I ran four miles, no problem. And thinking about that time, it's, Yeah, I've come a long way. I was thinking as you were speaking about...

the catalyst of change in people's lives. Like that moment where they hit rock bottom and they say, enough is enough. And what it takes for them to make a meaningful, sustained change in any element of their life, whether it's their relationships, leaving, and going and finding a better situation or a job, or just life in general, like you're describing,

where you realize you're on the wrong track and you make the decision to go in a new direction. Two questions there. What do you think it is that, from your experience, that starts that journey of change for people? And the second thing is, when we often speak to people who've changed, the process seems to be really linear and quick.

Like, I made the decision to change, then I changed. I think people doubt their power. Honestly, man. I've seen that happen time and time again, where people don't quite understand their capacity. And especially when the situation gets severe. And of course, like, you you know not everybody makes it like some people get destroyed by the process of hitting rock bottom but other people stand up it's almost like a phoenix i remember writing a poem called phoenix in my first book inward and um i think that you know it's pretty personalized

like i really don't think everybody has to hit rock bottom. And I think I like having that point of view because I think people want to like go to extremes often and kind of dramatize things, but you don't need to hit rock bottom to be the best version of yourself. I think that's, that's kind of the situation that I was personally in. But for me, man, I remember when I was on the floor and I kept thinking about, I was like, man, I feel my life, like, you know, it's, it's running out. Like I felt it running out. And I kept thinking about my parents and I was like, they worked so hard. Like, you know, they, I, I wasn't even mad at them. They didn't have time for me because I knew their struggle. Like I understood, like, I got it. You, they rolled the dice by coming to the United States because everybody doesn't win here. The other major,

major, major thing, like when I, you know, the few days after where I almost lost my life, I remember sitting in my room, um, at my mom and dad's house. And this was, you know, I had just graduated from college. It was 2011. The economy was pretty bad. It was hard to get a job at the time. And I remember sitting in the room and I was like, okay, I was like, what's the problem here? Like, how did this almost happen?

And it hit me. It was like, oh, is it because you didn't want to admit that you didn't feel good? Now, if that's what got you here, what can get you out of this? And it's, oh, it's telling yourself the truth. And this was, you know, before I had learned how to meditate or anything, but I would just sit in my bed and I would challenge myself to stay with the feelings that I used to run away from. So like, I like to call it radical honesty with yourself. Like it's not, it's not really about other people, but it's between you and yourself.

And when those heavy emotions would come up, normally I would just roll a joint, smoke, and just, you know, it helped cover whatever was there. But when the anxiety would arise, when the stress would arise, when those feelings of worthlessness would arise, I would just sit with them. And, you know, first it was a few minutes,

then 10 minutes, 15 minutes. And I was like, okay, like, and I learned a lot. You know, I learned that these little storms that come up, like they don't need to blow you over. They don't need to totally overwhelm you. They don't even need to govern your actions. If you just sit there and feel them, you realize they're totally temporary and it's

going to be okay you know and and i didn't know that before until i started challenging myself to just be with that and i don't really know where that came from you know like i had hadn't really i hadn't really read self-improvement books or seeing these things online or anything like that but i think instinctually i was like, if you were lying to yourself before, now tell yourself the truth. And what does that look like? A lot of the time it looks like feeling your emotions and not running from them. We don't do that, do we?

We distract ourselves. Constantly, constantly. Yeah. I was just thinking then how many of us really know how we're feeling? Like, how many of us really know how we, ourselves, are feeling? Truly. Like, when was the last time, I think for most people listening to this, have you really sat there on the end of your bed or wherever and asked yourself how you're actually feeling?

All things considered. What's out of balance? It's rare, but I think it's becoming more popular. I'm pretty inspired by what's happening now. I've been watching this whole wellness world brew and grow and develop. And obviously, it has its downs. It has a lot of consumerism around it. But there are a lot of positives. And there are just millions and millions of people who are seeing therapists now. There's millions and millions of people who are meditating. And there are millions and millions more journaling, reflecting, building self-awareness, building language around these newer ideas.

I mean, actually old ideas, but you know come back around um is that also slightly concerning what do you mean because it it's it's a sign that there is a increasing demand potentially for you know what i mean if it's if if there's more fire extinguishers being sold right right right right there's more oh it, there's more flies. Oh, it's totally concerning. I think it's concerning, but I think to me, it gives me hope, honestly, because of course, the world is incredibly challenging. You know, the advent of technology, especially with social media, the increases in loneliness,

like we know, we know, like the cause and effect, they're very clear, right? But these tools have been around for like, you know, the Western tools of therapy, what, 100, 150 years, the Eastern tools of different forms of meditation, indigenous healing practices, these things have been around for millennia.

And now that the world is globalized, people in major cities especially have access to them. Like you can type in like, what can I do to deal with my anxiety? And you have like, you know, things from psychiatrists, like, you know, you can go to your like local meditation center. There are tons of things that you can do now.

And what you just have to do is find something that meets you where you're at. So you do see these two things rise together where the demand for your attention is through the roof now from the media, from tech, from everything that's happening around you, family and friends. But at the same time, here are a bunch of tools for you to get your mind right so that you can not be overwhelmed by these demands. I am certainly guilty of using screens and other means to distract myself from how I'm feeling. In fact, you know, when I'm feeling tired or, you know,

bothered in some way or a little bit agitated, whatever way it might be, my way of dealing with that is to pick up a screen. Yeah. It's good to be honest. Pick up a screen and either watch something on YouTube, distract myself from the feeling, maybe watch some football, or something else, you know?

Something else that's probably not so good for me. And I think that, you know, scrolling on my phone, for example, I think that represents the majority of people. We use distraction as a way to avoid confronting how we're feeling, because confronting how we're feeling is, can be uncomfortable absolutely i mean confronting how you're feeling for a lot of us that's the gateway to growth right so if you're going to be there and stand with your emotions

you either see so much that you want to keep running or you're like okay i'm going to accept this challenge and let's see how i should grow next. So it is quite difficult. Is it called Vipinsana? Vipasana. Vipasana. There's a bunch of ways to say it. What is that? It's a meditation that's been around, that originated from the Buddhist teaching. So so 2600 years where you basically uh do your best to see reality as it really is and it's very different from how we normally see reality right you and i are hanging out we're talking we're having this conversation it feels like it's two individuals speaking but let's ask ourselves what's happening at the ultimate level, where, well, Diego and Steven were basically just these like bundles of atoms that are changing so incredibly rapidly, trillions of times. And at the same time, it's just mental and physical phenomena interlocking at incredibly high speeds that makes the illusion that we're here.

But in reality, are we real? No, not really. Why is that an important or valuable exercise? It's quite valuable. I think the sense of self, when it becomes overgrown, when it becomes highly traumatized, it creates a barrier to happiness. So what I found through Vipassana meditation was that as I was observing the truth of impermanence, literally within the framework of the body, you know, when you start learning that everything that arises ultimately passes away and you start understanding that change is, it exists within the fabric of every single thing in this universe, you start loosening up your identity. It's not

as rigid as it was before. It's not like Diego always reads science fiction and he always loves blueberries. Actually, it's not true. Sometimes I love watermelons. Sometimes I love, you know, like reading fiction. So it allows this understanding of change to help you loosen up and really evolve. And I have found that quite beneficial to my personal joy and happiness and definitely in my relationships. Because if you embrace change, you're not going to be as attached. It's not going to be like, I want you to do this this way all the time. In fact, you're going to understand, oh no, different conditions create different situations. So yes, I can have goals,

but if they don't come about, I'm not going to be crying on the floor. I'm just going to try again.